Expats In Thailand: Is Your Goal Here To "Integrate" Into Thai Society?

[soundman]

Post trying to incite an argument removed.

Try to be civil please.

[bendix]

Yeah when you have a Thai wife by your side, stay in your little community where everyone knows you and you don't need to get of you behind to get some baht everyday, things are much easier.

It's very easy to make fun of the people who are not as fortunate as you are

We both work thank you! .. and we dont live in a little community either. I do however wonder how you manage to survive Thailand with so much inbuilt negativity.

Most nations have inbuilt prejudices which includes France as well may I add. The best way of coping with it is to laugh, otherwise the bitterness eats away at you!

Oh I am negative because people point my 40 size feet and call me farang ?

I see

And when they piss on my doorstep i should thank them ?

I dont think they call you farang because of your size 40 feet.

I suspect they call you farang because . . . . ummmmm . . . .well . . . you're a farang.

Just a hunch.

[aneliane]

Yeah when you have a Thai wife by your side, stay in your little community where everyone knows you and you don't need to get of you behind to get some baht everyday, things are much easier.

It's very easy to make fun of the people who are not as fortunate as you are

We both work thank you! .. and we dont live in a little community either. I do however wonder how you manage to survive Thailand with so much inbuilt negativity.

Most nations have inbuilt prejudices which includes France as well may I add. The best way of coping with it is to laugh, otherwise the bitterness eats away at you!

Oh I am negative because people point my 40 size feet and call me farang ?

I see

And when they piss on my doorstep i should thank them ?

I dont think they call you farang because of your size 40 feet.

I suspect they call you farang because . . . . ummmmm . . . .well . . . you're a farang.

Just a hunch.

So you were in the songthao too?

Or did you see that in your crystal ball ?

[bendix]

Ouch.

I think someone struck a nerve, and for once it wasn't me.

Still, it didnt take long for this interesting thread to degenerate into the usual Thai-bashing bonanza, did it?

Not really. I don't hate Thai's or Thailand or why else would I live here. The topic asked for (incited) if and why you would integrate or not. I put my points out there only to be accused of being a whorehound and a racist of which I am neither. Strikes me that a lot of the BS farangs go through to live and work here are brought about by the country to stop those who just loiter here on tourist visas and believe that their frugal spending of their savings is actually contributing to the country. I do not agree with them, and their presence here makes life harder for those of us doing things the proper way. Inthepink is a self proclaimed one of these types (on his other thread charting his woes about getting his next visa to loiter here) and yet has the temerity to look down on and insult someone who is trying to make things work whilst applying the ethics and morals he was brought up with.

Thai-bashing Bonanza? Was that the sequel to the hit TV show? We all have a voice, yet in Thailand we can not be heard. So that is why people come to TV I think.

Fair enough, but I think a lot of the things you put in your post which got such a response are not uniquely Thai; they could be applied to no end of different places.

Ability to reason logically - well that's a global phenomena, one of the signs of perpetual dumbing down of modern life.

Sense of self-accountability - what better example of that do you need than the indebted western democracies?

Knowledge of world affairs and history - go talk to joe public in the USA, including several recent presidents and presidential hopefuls

Bribery and extortion - go figure

Absolution after an annual visit to the Temple - hello the world of Roman Catholicism.

I'm not saying those things aren't part of life in Thailand, but you can't reasonably say you will make no attempt to integrate into Thailand because of them, without saying that you wouldn't want to integrate into any of the hundreds of other countries or cultures that display similar attributes including - perhaps - that from where you originate.

[bendix]

So you were in the songthao too?

Or did you see that in your crystal ball ?

No. I'm suggesting simply that you get called a farang because you're a farang.

It aint rocket science.

Would they call a Thai man with size 40 feet a farang? No, ergo the feet are not qualifying component of your farangness; you being a farang is.

[edwinclapham]

Yeah when you have a Thai wife by your side, stay in your little community where everyone knows you and you don't need to get of you behind to get some baht everyday, things are much easier.

It's very easy to make fun of the people who are not as fortunate as you are

We both work thank you! .. and we dont live in a little community either. I do however wonder how you manage to survive Thailand with so much inbuilt negativity.

Most nations have inbuilt prejudices which includes France as well may I add. The best way of coping with it is to laugh, otherwise the bitterness eats away at you!

Oh I am negative because people point my 40 size feet and call me farang ?

I see

And when they piss on my doorstep i should thank them ?

The Japanese call us "gaijin ".

I get called a Pom in Australia . The French get called frogs.. The Italians get called wops.. the list is endless. I couldnt give a dam_n whether I am called a farang or not.

Our features are different, our noses can be the source of amusement but I seriously wouldnt take offence!

As far as urinating on your doorstep. place some Bourganvillia in prominent places where their appendages would be given a nasty prick!

Edited June 18, 2012 by edwinclapham

[aneliane]

Yeah when you have a Thai wife by your side, stay in your little community where everyone knows you and you don't need to get of you behind to get some baht everyday, things are much easier.

It's very easy to make fun of the people who are not as fortunate as you are

We both work thank you! .. and we dont live in a little community either. I do however wonder how you manage to survive Thailand with so much inbuilt negativity.

Most nations have inbuilt prejudices which includes France as well may I add. The best way of coping with it is to laugh, otherwise the bitterness eats away at you!

Oh I am negative because people point my 40 size feet and call me farang ?

I see

And when they piss on my doorstep i should thank them ?

The Japanese call us "gaijin ".

I get called a Pom in Australia . The French get called frogs.. The Italians get called wops.. the list is endless. I couldnt give a dam_n whether I am called a farang or not.

Our features are different, our noses can be the source of amusement but I seriously wouldnt take offence!

As far as urinating on your doorstep. place some Bourganvillia in prominent places where their appendages would be given a nasty prick!

Read before answering

it's not about being called farang

it's about being pointed out, mocked, ostracized and humiliated by people about what makes us different from them.

I lived in the UK for 7 years (quite a time in Clapham actually), in Japan, in India I never had any problem I never minded being called a frog I think that's cute, what I am talking about is a total different ball game

Edited June 18, 2012 by aneliane

[edwinclapham]

You obviously live in a different Thailand than the one I was bought up in seriously!

When you are abrasive, you will reap your rewards, simple really!

[Pseudolus]

Ouch.

I think someone struck a nerve, and for once it wasn't me.

Still, it didnt take long for this interesting thread to degenerate into the usual Thai-bashing bonanza, did it?

Not really. I don't hate Thai's or Thailand or why else would I live here. The topic asked for (incited) if and why you would integrate or not. I put my points out there only to be accused of being a whorehound and a racist of which I am neither. Strikes me that a lot of the BS farangs go through to live and work here are brought about by the country to stop those who just loiter here on tourist visas and believe that their frugal spending of their savings is actually contributing to the country. I do not agree with them, and their presence here makes life harder for those of us doing things the proper way. Inthepink is a self proclaimed one of these types (on his other thread charting his woes about getting his next visa to loiter here) and yet has the temerity to look down on and insult someone who is trying to make things work whilst applying the ethics and morals he was brought up with.

Thai-bashing Bonanza? Was that the sequel to the hit TV show? We all have a voice, yet in Thailand we can not be heard. So that is why people come to TV I think.

Fair enough, but I think a lot of the things you put in your post which got such a response are not uniquely Thai; they could be applied to no end of different places.

Ability to reason logically - well that's a global phenomena, one of the signs of perpetual dumbing down of modern life.

Sense of self-accountability - what better example of that do you need than the indebted western democracies?

Knowledge of world affairs and history - go talk to joe public in the USA, including several recent presidents and presidential hopefuls

Bribery and extortion - go figure

Absolution after an annual visit to the Temple - hello the world of Roman Catholicism.

I'm not saying those things aren't part of life in Thailand, but you can't reasonably say you will make no attempt to integrate into Thailand because of them, without saying that you wouldn't want to integrate into any of the hundreds of other countries or cultures that display similar attributes including - perhaps - that from where you originate.

Couldn't agree with you more, and I also pointed out the link with catholic countries as well else where. My point is that you can not integrate. You can pretend to by wai'ing all the time, wearing their cloths, putting up with the day to day extortion and corruption, learning the language and all that jazz but at the end of the day, we are Farangs and those that think they are completely integrated into Thai society will find out otherwise the day that something happens in their life when the Thai's around them have to chose between what is the right thing to do (by my standards) or to come to the aid of another Thai national. In our heart of hearts, we know what will happen.

[ThailandCRI]

I'm suggesting simply that you get called a farang because you're a farang.

Farang = Ferangi = Frank

[samsiam]

Yeah when you have a Thai wife by your side, stay in your little community where everyone knows you and you don't need to get of you behind to get some baht everyday, things are much easier.

It's very easy to make fun of the people who are not as fortunate as you are

I don't know exactly what you mean but if having big feet is fortunate then Thai women are blessed because they have gigantic feet. Not as big as lady boys but as a rule, close. The small stature of Thai women makes their feet seem even larger.

I don't know ask the people who make fun of my 40 size, apparently it's overly funny

Thats huge......don't feel defeeted though.

[samsiam]

Oh I am negative because people point my 40 size feet and call me farang ?

I see

And when they piss on my doorstep i should thank them ?

Thats just them marking their territory....you should be flattered that they fancy you

[aneliane]

You obviously live in a different Thailand than the one I was bought up in seriously!

When you are abrasive, you will reap your rewards, simple really!

Yes you are right

I came after 9 stays (from 1 to 4 months each) over 12 years.

At last you start to understand yes they 2 Thailand or more: the Thailand of farmers with their hand on their sleeve and the THL of egocentric office workers, who only care about their latest Ipad, but also the new /old generation, the tourist area / non tourist area, the farang friendly/ thai area...etc etc

Thailand being one unified country is a myth

So yes we are living in a different world you and me.

If you are white in THL you either have a Thai spouse and can be/live pretty much anywhere

or you are a tourist and go to tourist area

or you are an expat and live in expat area (sukhumvit)

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

My idea of Thai people was that they were very kind friendly generous, I had countless found memories of THL as a tourist. It remained true as long as sticked to the allocated area. It did changed when I moved

[bendix]

Ouch.

I think someone struck a nerve, and for once it wasn't me.

Still, it didnt take long for this interesting thread to degenerate into the usual Thai-bashing bonanza, did it?

Not really. I don't hate Thai's or Thailand or why else would I live here. The topic asked for (incited) if and why you would integrate or not. I put my points out there only to be accused of being a whorehound and a racist of which I am neither. Strikes me that a lot of the BS farangs go through to live and work here are brought about by the country to stop those who just loiter here on tourist visas and believe that their frugal spending of their savings is actually contributing to the country. I do not agree with them, and their presence here makes life harder for those of us doing things the proper way. Inthepink is a self proclaimed one of these types (on his other thread charting his woes about getting his next visa to loiter here) and yet has the temerity to look down on and insult someone who is trying to make things work whilst applying the ethics and morals he was brought up with.

Thai-bashing Bonanza? Was that the sequel to the hit TV show? We all have a voice, yet in Thailand we can not be heard. So that is why people come to TV I think.

Fair enough, but I think a lot of the things you put in your post which got such a response are not uniquely Thai; they could be applied to no end of different places.

Ability to reason logically - well that's a global phenomena, one of the signs of perpetual dumbing down of modern life.

Sense of self-accountability - what better example of that do you need than the indebted western democracies?

Knowledge of world affairs and history - go talk to joe public in the USA, including several recent presidents and presidential hopefuls

Bribery and extortion - go figure

Absolution after an annual visit to the Temple - hello the world of Roman Catholicism.

I'm not saying those things aren't part of life in Thailand, but you can't reasonably say you will make no attempt to integrate into Thailand because of them, without saying that you wouldn't want to integrate into any of the hundreds of other countries or cultures that display similar attributes including - perhaps - that from where you originate.

Couldn't agree with you more, and I also pointed out the link with catholic countries as well else where. My point is that you can not integrate. You can pretend to by wai'ing all the time, wearing their cloths, putting up with the day to day extortion and corruption, learning the language and all that jazz but at the end of the day, we are Farangs and those that think they are completely integrated into Thai society will find out otherwise the day that something happens in their life when the Thai's around them have to chose between what is the right thing to do (by my standards) or to come to the aid of another Thai national. In our heart of hearts, we know what will happen.

It seems we are in violent agreement. As i said earlier on this thread integration is a pipedream and not even one that seems particularly desirable or useful to me.

Enough to just get on with life, do no harm and suffer no harm done to you.

[bendix]

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

Lol. Your experience are completely different to everyone elses.

Most people would say that those who live in farang ghettos like Thailand see the worst of the Thais wiht the taxi mafia, scams etc. No, not you. You loved the Thais in those areas and instead see the (in your mind) true xenophobia and meanspiritedness of the Thais by living in so called Thai areas.

Baffling. Truly baffling.

[Pseudolus]

Couldn't agree with you more, and I also pointed out the link with catholic countries as well else where. My point is that you can not integrate. You can pretend to by wai'ing all the time, wearing their cloths, putting up with the day to day extortion and corruption, learning the language and all that jazz but at the end of the day, we are Farangs and those that think they are completely integrated into Thai society will find out otherwise the day that something happens in their life when the Thai's around them have to chose between what is the right thing to do (by my standards) or to come to the aid of another Thai national. In our heart of hearts, we know what will happen.

It seems we are in violent agreement. As i said earlier on this thread integration is a pipedream and not even one that seems particularly desirable or useful to me.

Enough to just get on with life, do no harm and suffer no harm done to you.

Indeed we are. I would challenge anyone who believes they are 100% integrated to do the following as I did on Saturday. I needed to get a replacement drip tray made for a BBQ. I did a CAD drawing of what I wanted, everything written in Thai, and went shopping to the metal shops. I had prices ranging from 1300 to 3000 baht and each time I saw them calculating the cost properly on their calculator (600 baht) and then writing down the vasty increased price. This was in 7 different places. In the end, I got my other half to go into the last joint and surprise surprise she came out with the paid receipt for 600 baht. You can only try your best, but you can not integrate because the Thai's will not let you. You are a Farang. Always and forever.

[aneliane]

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

Lol. Your experience are completely different to everyone elses.

Most people would say that those who live in farang ghettos like Thailand see the worst of the Thais wiht the taxi mafia, scams etc. No, not you. You loved the Thais in those areas and instead see the (in your mind) true xenophobia and meanspiritedness of the Thais by living in so called Thai areas.

Baffling. Truly baffling.

Again you reading your crystal ball bendix

Did I say anywhere I liked or even loved these areas?

you're making thing up just to get angry at people

And that is more than baffling it is truly sick

[kerryk]

Couldn't agree with you more, and I also pointed out the link with catholic countries as well else where. My point is that you can not integrate. You can pretend to by wai'ing all the time, wearing their cloths, putting up with the day to day extortion and corruption, learning the language and all that jazz but at the end of the day, we are Farangs and those that think they are completely integrated into Thai society will find out otherwise the day that something happens in their life when the Thai's around them have to chose between what is the right thing to do (by my standards) or to come to the aid of another Thai national. In our heart of hearts, we know what will happen.

It seems we are in violent agreement. As i said earlier on this thread integration is a pipedream and not even one that seems particularly desirable or useful to me.

Enough to just get on with life, do no harm and suffer no harm done to you.

Indeed we are. I would challenge anyone who believes they are 100% integrated to do the following as I did on Saturday. I needed to get a replacement drip tray made for a BBQ. I did a CAD drawing of what I wanted, everything written in Thai, and went shopping to the metal shops. I had prices ranging from 1300 to 3000 baht and each time I saw them calculating the cost properly on their calculator (600 baht) and then writing down the vasty increased price. This was in 7 different places. In the end, I got my other half to go into the last joint and surprise surprise she came out with the paid receipt for 600 baht. You can only try your best, but you can not integrate because the Thai's will not let you. You are a Farang. Always and forever.

So you went into the place with your CAD drawing and they quoted you 3000 baht and then you sent your wife in with the same CAD drawing to the same place and they quoted her 600 baht and made it for her? Are they really that dumb?

[Pseudolus]

Couldn't agree with you more, and I also pointed out the link with catholic countries as well else where. My point is that you can not integrate. You can pretend to by wai'ing all the time, wearing their cloths, putting up with the day to day extortion and corruption, learning the language and all that jazz but at the end of the day, we are Farangs and those that think they are completely integrated into Thai society will find out otherwise the day that something happens in their life when the Thai's around them have to chose between what is the right thing to do (by my standards) or to come to the aid of another Thai national. In our heart of hearts, we know what will happen.

It seems we are in violent agreement. As i said earlier on this thread integration is a pipedream and not even one that seems particularly desirable or useful to me.

Enough to just get on with life, do no harm and suffer no harm done to you.

Indeed we are. I would challenge anyone who believes they are 100% integrated to do the following as I did on Saturday. I needed to get a replacement drip tray made for a BBQ. I did a CAD drawing of what I wanted, everything written in Thai, and went shopping to the metal shops. I had prices ranging from 1300 to 3000 baht and each time I saw them calculating the cost properly on their calculator (600 baht) and then writing down the vasty increased price. This was in 7 different places. In the end, I got my other half to go into the last joint and surprise surprise she came out with the paid receipt for 600 baht. You can only try your best, but you can not integrate because the Thai's will not let you. You are a Farang. Always and forever.

So you went into the place with your CAD drawing and they quoted you 3000 baht and then you sent your wife in with the same CAD drawing to the same place and they quoted her 600 baht and made it for her? Are they really that dumb?

They are indeed. It was adifferent shop though.

Edited June 18, 2012 by Pseudolus

[edwinclapham]

You obviously live in a different Thailand than the one I was bought up in seriously!

When you are abrasive, you will reap your rewards, simple really!

Yes you are right

I came after 9 stays (from 1 to 4 months each) over 12 years.

At last you start to understand yes they 2 Thailand or more: the Thailand of farmers with their hand on their sleeve and the THL of egocentric office workers, who only care about their latest Ipad, but also the new /old generation, the tourist area / non tourist area, the farang friendly/ thai area...etc etc

Thailand being one unified country is a myth

So yes we are living in a different world you and me.

If you are white in THL you either have a Thai spouse and can be/live pretty much anywhere

or you are a tourist and go to tourist area

or you are an expat and live in expat area (sukhumvit)

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

My idea of Thai people was that they were very kind friendly generous, I had countless found memories of THL as a tourist. It remained true as long as sticked to the allocated area. It did changed when I moved

What you have described above and thank you for replying btw.. could be indicative of many countries..

Where our home is in Nong Khai it is a totally Thai area. I think there is one westerner there who works by on a daily basis with eyes averted.

I find the local people are not over bearing, some could class them as being aloof,and there is no fawning over us.. but in all fairness in all the years my father has lived there, we have been surrounded by kindness.

Our landlord and his wife are amazing.. to the extent that when my father has been ill, they have rushed him into hospital, phoned us abroad, slept by his bed side until I have arrived... all this for no monetary gain whatsoever.. they are proud respectable people.

In Bangkok our landlady in Lad Phrao was also of the same ilk, nothing was too much trouble for her, there was always food awaiting us and she remains a firm family friend to this day.

My father too lives alone ( I think ) but I am more than comfortable with him doing so as he is able to maintain his independence on his pension.

Yes my father is a farang , laughs about it, complies with the laws but he is comfortable living there, it is his home and I am saddened you cannot experience the same, because despite what is written on TV there are a lot of good people out there, predominately away from the tourist scene.

Unfortunately tourism / ex pats have also bought in many negatives into the Thai culture, as they have in Vietnam/Cambodia /Laos and will do in Burma but I would hate to give the people in general a bad rep.

Edited June 18, 2012 by edwinclapham

[Pseudolus]

Feet 40cm? or Euro size 40?

[aneliane]

You obviously live in a different Thailand than the one I was bought up in seriously!

When you are abrasive, you will reap your rewards, simple really!

Yes you are right

I came after 9 stays (from 1 to 4 months each) over 12 years.

At last you start to understand yes they 2 Thailand or more: the Thailand of farmers with their hand on their sleeve and the THL of egocentric office workers, who only care about their latest Ipad, but also the new /old generation, the tourist area / non tourist area, the farang friendly/ thai area...etc etc

Thailand being one unified country is a myth

So yes we are living in a different world you and me.

If you are white in THL you either have a Thai spouse and can be/live pretty much anywhere

or you are a tourist and go to tourist area

or you are an expat and live in expat area (sukhumvit)

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

My idea of Thai people was that they were very kind friendly generous, I had countless found memories of THL as a tourist. It remained true as long as sticked to the allocated area. It did changed when I moved

What you have described above and thank you for replying btw.. could be indicative of many countries..

Where our home is in Nong Khai it is a totally Thai area. I think there is one westerner there who works by on a daily basis with eyes averted.

I find the local people are not over bearing, some could class them as being aloof,and there is no fawning over us.. but in all fairness in all the years my father has lived there, we have been surrounded by kindness.

Our landlord and his wife are amazing.. to the extent that when my father has been ill, they have rushed him into hospital, phoned us abroad, slept by his bed side until I have arrived... all this for no monetary gain whatsoever.. they are proud respectable people.

In Bangkok our landlady in Lad Phrao was also of the same ilk, nothing was too much trouble for her, there was always food awaiting us and she remains a firm family friend to this day.

My father too lives alone ( I think ) but I am more than comfortable with him doing so as he is able to maintain his independence on his pension.

Yes my father is a farang , laughs about it, complies with the laws but he is comfortable living there, it is his home and I am saddened you cannot experience the same, because despite what is written on TV there are a lot of good people out there, predominately away from the tourist scene.

Have you ever heard the phrase "Good news don't make the headlines?"

When I post about positive stuff about THL I get 1 answer (not yours)

When I post negative experience I get all this answers (mostly the usual suspect -you included)

I have read hundreds of "my thai wife cheated/left me/is taking my money..." funnily no one seems to be tired of reading those.

Sorry I don't have a thai wife to moan about, and I get more crap /different crap just because there is no one to act as a buffer between me and the unsavory people, so yes my posts are different from most people here.

About your father: I don't think i would be writing about anything negative if I was a pensioner here.

If I could I would stay in my little paradise, I only get in trouble when I have to get out.

[aneliane]

Feet 40cm? or Euro size 40?

40 meters

[peebee]

In response to the question of integrating, my answer, as for many others, is 'yes' and 'no'. I do the normal things to fit in and enjoy doing so and am completely accepted by all in my wife's family (which you would hope so after 3 decades or marriage) but accept that to the Thais I will always be a farang. That's life. I simply don't see integration as an issue worth dwelling upon. Thailand and Thai people are, for the most part, terrific. The 'secret' is to simply accept the place and stop comparing it to our home countries.

[edwinclapham]

You obviously live in a different Thailand than the one I was bought up in seriously!

When you are abrasive, you will reap your rewards, simple really!

Yes you are right

I came after 9 stays (from 1 to 4 months each) over 12 years.

At last you start to understand yes they 2 Thailand or more: the Thailand of farmers with their hand on their sleeve and the THL of egocentric office workers, who only care about their latest Ipad, but also the new /old generation, the tourist area / non tourist area, the farang friendly/ thai area...etc etc

Thailand being one unified country is a myth

So yes we are living in a different world you and me.

If you are white in THL you either have a Thai spouse and can be/live pretty much anywhere

or you are a tourist and go to tourist area

or you are an expat and live in expat area (sukhumvit)

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

My idea of Thai people was that they were very kind friendly generous, I had countless found memories of THL as a tourist. It remained true as long as sticked to the allocated area. It did changed when I moved

What you have described above and thank you for replying btw.. could be indicative of many countries..

Where our home is in Nong Khai it is a totally Thai area. I think there is one westerner there who works by on a daily basis with eyes averted.

I find the local people are not over bearing, some could class them as being aloof,and there is no fawning over us.. but in all fairness in all the years my father has lived there, we have been surrounded by kindness.

Our landlord and his wife are amazing.. to the extent that when my father has been ill, they have rushed him into hospital, phoned us abroad, slept by his bed side until I have arrived... all this for no monetary gain whatsoever.. they are proud respectable people.

In Bangkok our landlady in Lad Phrao was also of the same ilk, nothing was too much trouble for her, there was always food awaiting us and she remains a firm family friend to this day.

My father too lives alone ( I think ) but I am more than comfortable with him doing so as he is able to maintain his independence on his pension.

Yes my father is a farang , laughs about it, complies with the laws but he is comfortable living there, it is his home and I am saddened you cannot experience the same, because despite what is written on TV there are a lot of good people out there, predominately away from the tourist scene.

Have you ever heard the phrase "Good news don't make the headlines?"

When I post about positive stuff about THL I get 1 answer (not yours)

When I post negative experience I get all this answers (mostly the usual suspect -you included)

I have read hundreds of "my thai wife cheated/left me/is taking my money..." funnily no one seems to be tired of reading those.

Sorry I don't have a thai wife to moan about, and I get more crap /different crap just because there is no one to act as a buffer between me and the unsavory people, so yes my posts are different from most people here.

About your father: I don't think i would be writing about anything negative if I was a pensioner here.

If I could I would stay in my little paradise, I only get in trouble when I have to get out.

"My Thai wife is lovely" is a positive thread and has been well received!

I dont know your circumstances so it is extremely hard to comment upon Aneliane but I see many similar complaints funnily enough from the Brits in Australia. Whinging poms is what they call us ! and to be frank I often wonder why they migrated in the first place, seriously!

Their expectations of the country has disappointed them... English speaking but with a totally different culture/climate/agriculture but for some reason they expect the Australians to conform to their perception of what Australia should be!

Never happy! the supermarkets are substandard, the homes are shoddily built, the list is endless but hard and fast research should be done before moving to pastures new! Being an ex pat in any part of world can be as fun or as lonely as one makes it.

The same applies to Thailand, different culture, habits, etc and instead of complaining about it, embrace the good aspects or basically choose pastures new. Simples!

[kerryk]

You obviously live in a different Thailand than the one I was bought up in seriously!

When you are abrasive, you will reap your rewards, simple really!

Yes you are right

I came after 9 stays (from 1 to 4 months each) over 12 years.

At last you start to understand yes they 2 Thailand or more: the Thailand of farmers with their hand on their sleeve and the THL of egocentric office workers, who only care about their latest Ipad, but also the new /old generation, the tourist area / non tourist area, the farang friendly/ thai area...etc etc

Thailand being one unified country is a myth

So yes we are living in a different world you and me.

If you are white in THL you either have a Thai spouse and can be/live pretty much anywhere

or you are a tourist and go to tourist area

or you are an expat and live in expat area (sukhumvit)

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

My idea of Thai people was that they were very kind friendly generous, I had countless found memories of THL as a tourist. It remained true as long as sticked to the allocated area. It did changed when I moved

What you have described above and thank you for replying btw.. could be indicative of many countries..

Where our home is in Nong Khai it is a totally Thai area. I think there is one westerner there who works by on a daily basis with eyes averted.

I find the local people are not over bearing, some could class them as being aloof,and there is no fawning over us.. but in all fairness in all the years my father has lived there, we have been surrounded by kindness.

Our landlord and his wife are amazing.. to the extent that when my father has been ill, they have rushed him into hospital, phoned us abroad, slept by his bed side until I have arrived... all this for no monetary gain whatsoever.. they are proud respectable people.

In Bangkok our landlady in Lad Phrao was also of the same ilk, nothing was too much trouble for her, there was always food awaiting us and she remains a firm family friend to this day.

My father too lives alone ( I think ) but I am more than comfortable with him doing so as he is able to maintain his independence on his pension.

Yes my father is a farang , laughs about it, complies with the laws but he is comfortable living there, it is his home and I am saddened you cannot experience the same, because despite what is written on TV there are a lot of good people out there, predominately away from the tourist scene.

Have you ever heard the phrase "Good news don't make the headlines?"

When I post about positive stuff about THL I get 1 answer (not yours)

When I post negative experience I get all this answers (mostly the usual suspect -you included)

I have read hundreds of "my thai wife cheated/left me/is taking my money..." funnily no one seems to be tired of reading those.

Sorry I don't have a thai wife to moan about, and I get more crap /different crap just because there is no one to act as a buffer between me and the unsavory people, so yes my posts are different from most people here.

About your father: I don't think i would be writing about anything negative if I was a pensioner here.

If I could I would stay in my little paradise, I only get in trouble when I have to get out.

I agree with you. The young people I know here have a lot of problems. I just stay in my little paradise with my little circle of friends and have positive experiences every day. The old guys both Thai and Farang are not that hard to find. Why not get yourself one? There are always younger Giks for amusement. Don't worry be happy.

[rgs2001uk]

Couldn't agree with you more, and I also pointed out the link with catholic countries as well else where. My point is that you can not integrate. You can pretend to by wai'ing all the time, wearing their cloths, putting up with the day to day extortion and corruption, learning the language and all that jazz but at the end of the day, we are Farangs and those that think they are completely integrated into Thai society will find out otherwise the day that something happens in their life when the Thai's around them have to chose between what is the right thing to do (by my standards) or to come to the aid of another Thai national. In our heart of hearts, we know what will happen.

It seems we are in violent agreement. As i said earlier on this thread integration is a pipedream and not even one that seems particularly desirable or useful to me.

Enough to just get on with life, do no harm and suffer no harm done to you.

Indeed we are. I would challenge anyone who believes they are 100% integrated to do the following as I did on Saturday. I needed to get a replacement drip tray made for a BBQ. I did a CAD drawing of what I wanted, everything written in Thai, and went shopping to the metal shops. I had prices ranging from 1300 to 3000 baht and each time I saw them calculating the cost properly on their calculator (600 baht) and then writing down the vasty increased price. This was in 7 different places. In the end, I got my other half to go into the last joint and surprise surprise she came out with the paid receipt for 600 baht. You can only try your best, but you can not integrate because the Thai's will not let you. You are a Farang. Always and forever.

^^^^, if you think these people dont try it on with other Thais you are mistaken.

Its got to the stage now the only people I deal with in Bkk are either Chinese, Muslim or Southerners and always by personal recommendation or introduction form one of the aforementioned.

Was in a Chinese shop a few months ago, the owner and person who brought me to the shop spoke in Chinese and Thai for my benefit, what they had to say about Thai business sense was less than complimentary.

I still couldnt believe I was hearing phrases such as, kee kiat, kee kong, kee moh and kee lay.

[bendix]

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

Lol. Your experience are completely different to everyone elses.

Most people would say that those who live in farang ghettos like Thailand see the worst of the Thais wiht the taxi mafia, scams etc. No, not you. You loved the Thais in those areas and instead see the (in your mind) true xenophobia and meanspiritedness of the Thais by living in so called Thai areas.

Baffling. Truly baffling.

Again you reading your crystal ball bendix

Did I say anywhere I liked or even loved these areas?

you're making thing up just to get angry at people

And that is more than baffling it is truly sick

I'm not angry at you aneliane.

On the contrary. I rather pity you and wonder why you are so negative all the time.

[aneliane]

I am white without female, a thai bf and live in a "thai area"

Some foreigners told me it would be tougher and they would not have done it.

Lol. Your experience are completely different to everyone elses.

Most people would say that those who live in farang ghettos like Thailand see the worst of the Thais wiht the taxi mafia, scams etc. No, not you. You loved the Thais in those areas and instead see the (in your mind) true xenophobia and meanspiritedness of the Thais by living in so called Thai areas.

Baffling. Truly baffling.

Again you reading your crystal ball bendix

Did I say anywhere I liked or even loved these areas?

you're making thing up just to get angry at people

And that is more than baffling it is truly sick

I'm not angry at you aneliane.

On the contrary. I rather pity you and wonder why you are so negative all the time.

You're delusional

You making things up Bendix

Then you said it's negative,

the worse thing is that you believe in it

As I told you before I cannot help you

You need professionals

[canuckamuck]

I always assumed that the goal for most expats here was curing chronic self abuse