Do You Ask About Your Wife’S/Girlfriend'S Past Relationships And What She Done Before You Met?

[kerryk]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

I am sorry to tell you Thailand is developing, changing and improving.

One day, everyone will wear a seatbelt in a car, or a helmet on a motorcycle.

One day, every Thai person will receive a decent education.

One day, people living in poverty will not be considered a fact of life.

One day, victims of abuse will not be seen as a symptom of Thai culture.

One day, sad old guys from the West will not be able to come to Thailand and hook up with desperate young native peasant girls.

I look forward to that day.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

When I got here in 1968 I said exactly the same thing. I guess you don't know it but the old guys back then were Thai and a few British tobacco buyers. For a while Thailand was considered the tiger of Asia. Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore and Korea were all in the same boat in 1968. There were large red light areas in all five countries and I visited all of them as a soldier in SEA during the 1960's. The Korean girl bands were the best BTW (on and off stage).I know you don't believe me. I can see the disbelief coming across the pages but they were all the same. Singapore was dirty. Hong Kong was overrun with hookers. If you would have asked me to bet in 1968 who would be the Asian Tiger in 2000 I would have been hard pressed not to say Thailand. I know you are sorry to tell me Thailand is developing changing and improving. But Brit I have heard it before. I heard it in 1968. I heard it in 1996. And now you. I've got a couple of undergraduate degrees and one graduate degree. I got to Thailand the first time in 1968. I don't work anymore. I don't have to. Now think about this a while. Who would you trust? Me or you?

[HardenedSoul]

How did we get from a discussion about 'respect' to 'distrust and 7 million people not like my ex-wife'?

Have you been drinking again?

I think the point he's making is that your experiences with your ex-wife seem to have twisted your attitude and approach to women or, perhaps, simply amplified them - who knows?

I'm sure there are guys out here who've had as hard a time with marriages/divorces back home but some have managed to draw a line under those experiences. They are open-minded enough to treat people with the fundamental respect they deserve simply for being human.

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a £20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

It is better to know what you are talking about before you go spouting off. Contrary to your opinions there are women in the world who don't want charity. They would rather work for cash than get a hand out. It has something to do with pride. I got here an almost illiterate country bumpkin at 22 with no advanced degrees and no experience. Pretty much like you. Now 40 plus years later, educated and experienced I am ready for and enjoying the Thai experience immensely. I have had my family in the West to include children and grandchildren and am not in the least bothered by your snide aspersions about sex and my age.You are an angry young man with a potty mouth. Not a good combination for making friends. Instead of insulting old guys you should be figuring out how to ingratiate yourself with them. They run things both in the West and Thailand. They get the prettiest girls and the best seats at the football games. Sounds like maybe you have figured that out and it bothers you. I don't think you should really ask about your wife or girlfriends past behavior. My God she might have slept with a man older than you! Heavens to Betsy.

I know exactly what I'm talking about and, unlike you, I didn't need 40 plus years to get to the point where I'm ready to "enjoy" what is still a country populated by folks who will never be described as "deep". Frankly,your argument's got more holes in it than the pair of "lucky" baby-boomer, Beach Boys Y-fronts I suspect you wear when out on the pull.

Sure there are women who prefer to work for their money but under the inept sexual administrations of an old porker and his pack of Cialis??!! I doubt it very much. Cleaning a house, a yard, a car, cooking, running errands - the list of possible tasks she could complete for money is endless. Pray tell, just how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her than it is by doing the jobs I mentioned? Perhaps you're just being disingenuous or, maybe - just maybe - you're trying to justify what you do by assigning it a seemingly innocuous euphemism; namely, "helping". You can do it until you're blue in the face - NO ONE BELIEVES YOU !!

Maybe old guys do run the world but I don't see any reason to ingratiate myself to the strain that indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls. I have had the pleasure of being "good friends" with many women and I didn't need to "run things" or have one foot in the grave and millions in the bank in order to do it.

As for the past behavior of any future wife/GF, I really, honestly, SINCERELY don't fish in the same pond as the likes of you so the question really would be academic.

[brit1984]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

I am sorry to tell you Thailand is developing, changing and improving.

One day, everyone will wear a seatbelt in a car, or a helmet on a motorcycle.

One day, every Thai person will receive a decent education.

One day, people living in poverty will not be considered a fact of life.

One day, victims of abuse will not be seen as a symptom of Thai culture.

One day, sad old guys from the West will not be able to come to Thailand and hook up with desperate young native peasant girls.

I look forward to that day.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

When I got here in 1968 I said exactly the same thing. I guess you don't know it but the old guys back then were Thai and a few British tobacco buyers. For a while Thailand was considered the tiger of Asia. Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore and Korea were all in the same boat in 1968. There were large red light areas in all five countries and I visited all of them as a soldier in SEA during the 1960's. The Korean girl bands were the best BTW (on and off stage).I know you don't believe me. I can see the disbelief coming across the pages but they were all the same. Singapore was dirty. Hong Kong was overrun with hookers. If you would have asked me to bet in 1968 who would be the Asian Tiger in 2000 I would have been hard pressed not to say Thailand. I know you are sorry to tell me Thailand is developing changing and improving. But Brit I have heard it before. I heard it in 1968. I heard it in 1996. And now you. I've got a couple of undergraduate degrees and one graduate degree. I got to Thailand the first time in 1968. I don't work anymore. I don't have to. Now think about this a while. Who would you trust? Me or you?

Just because you have several decades of first hand experience as a patron of South East Asia's sex industry, does not imply that you are any more able to predict the future of Thailand than me.

Are you seriously suggesting that the Thai economy, Thai culture and Thai society have not changed since 1968? Thailand is growing, developing and evolving, and is set to continue on this path.

I am sorry that this development (and improvement in Thai people's lives and opportunities) may be contrary to the predatory sex orientated reasons that you, and people like you, choose to live in Thailand.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[edwinclapham]

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day 100% Likes.

@ Hardened Soul,

[HardenedSoul]

I would guess that HardenedSoul fell in love with one of these ladies only to discover that she had a few other men supporting her.

Awww man, you couldn't be further from the truth if you tried.

[maxme]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

[dean999]

I know everything about my wife's past. She must of been with some right looser's. But least i don't have to worry about meeting them........they all commited suicide.

[kerryk]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

You all could learn something if you started reading and stopped attacking. I realize you have very fragile young egos and have to be constantly on the lookout for 70 year old men stealing your women but in wisdom there is knowledge and security. Chances are greater with a Thai women than most others that the lady will have some old men in her background because of the cultural differences in the Thai society and the societies that you are used to at home. You have been raised in a youth culture that has taught you to think of old age as an ugly, dirty and defiling part of life. Your Thai lady has not. She has been taught to respect old age and has none of the negative stereotypes branded in her brain that you young men from the West have. You would all do well to look at Thai history and realize that Thailand although changing has changed much less rapidly than most of the other economic hot spots in Asia over the past 40 years. Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met. Good luck to you all and don't worry so much about the old guys.

[YipYipYa123]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

don't worry so much about the old guys.

because they will have croaked it already .........

[maxme]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

You all could learn something if you started reading and stopped attacking. I realize you have very fragile young egos and have to be constantly on the lookout for 70 year old men stealing your women but in wisdom there is knowledge and security. Chances are greater with a Thai women than most others that the lady will have some old men in her background because of the cultural differences in the Thai society and the societies that you are used to at home. You have been raised in a youth culture that has taught you to think of old age as an ugly, dirty and defiling part of life. Your Thai lady has not. She has been taught to respect old age and has none of the negative stereotypes branded in her brain that you young men from the West have. You would all do well to look at Thai history and realize that Thailand although changing has changed much less rapidly than most of the other economic hot spots in Asia over the past 40 years. Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met. Good luck to you all and don't worry so much about the old guys.

Hellen Keller watch out...

I've never seen such an absurd and stereotypic statement before.

You really think every little brown girl just adore you because they are that gullible and stupid... My, my, someone is in denial.

Yet again you show yourself incompetent to clarify what makes you think that Thailand isn't changing and don't drag in your time in Nam please. It's just pitiful. I guess you live and breath by that dogmatic pragma of yours and that's probably the reason why you won't move to the capital or the south. Coz then you just might be proven wrong and we don't what to happen now do we Kerry?

[HardenedSoul]

First you wrote:

For myself, I prefer girls from the poor rural underclasses

and I totally filter out any prospects with any signs of experience with farang or any hints of "bad habits" in order to improve my odds

Then you wrote:

I don't know why you think foreign loins are somehow different than Thai ones, there isn't any "breaking in" going on here other than the language and cultural learning, it's not as if their experiences with Thai males has been romantic and pure, as opposed to us dirty old farang.

It seems YOU made the distinction between Thai loins and foreign ones.

And it's not me that's "driving" anyone toward prostitution, 90% of these girls are on track to heading for Pattaya or Bangkok into actual prostitution, and in fact in the early days I used to try to recruit ones that had already started, just hoping that catching them early enough in the process would be enough, and found it wasn't, even just a week or two in the explicit p4p scene and as they say most of the time you can't get the bar out of the girl.

My program is very much targeted toward showing them that they don't need to get into the sex industry in order to better their lives, and several of them are doing so without even becoming mia farang at least for now.

It's true some of them either within themselves or via pressure from their families do end up wanting to maximize their cash income short-term rather than holding out for the more mainstream-respectable path I advocate, but at least when they do so they know how to target the high end of the market and do get maximum rates for minimum risk, much lower number of partners etc.

And as soon as they do decide to take that route, they're out on their own, I don't want them around setting a bad example giving the more idealistic girls bad habits or ideas.

I do everything I can to improve the odds for them that's all, I can't control what they actually end up doing in the end, but so far most of the time they seem to end up OK, at least better off than if they hadn't known me. But I'm honest and don't claim that's my primary goal here, it's just a side effect, but IMO better than just offering money and walking away.

Your program ??!! YOUR PROGRAM ??!! Listen to yourself !!

Who the DIckens do you think you are??!!

Your "program" in which you masquerade as an all-round good egg when in reality you're little more than lascivious, Thailand-based Henry Higgins prepared to go the extra devious mile to engage in coitus with naive, inexperienced peasant Eliza Dolittles is reprehensible. You're effectively grooming girls to be prostitutes by providing their first P4P experience and then saying "There. That wasn't so bad, was it dear? Next week; same time?"

You mentioned the "Mainstream-respectable path you advocate". What a joke. Just because they may have the potential to earn a lot more money than they would running the Sukhumvit gauntlet, you're still reinforcing the notion that they have little else to offer but their sexual organs.

I'm sorry but you come over as little more than a parasite.

[brit1984]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

You all could learn something if you started reading and stopped attacking. I realize you have very fragile young egos and have to be constantly on the lookout for 70 year old men stealing your women but in wisdom there is knowledge and security. Chances are greater with a Thai women than most others that the lady will have some old men in her background because of the cultural differences in the Thai society and the societies that you are used to at home. You have been raised in a youth culture that has taught you to think of old age as an ugly, dirty and defiling part of life. Your Thai lady has not. She has been taught to respect old age and has none of the negative stereotypes branded in her brain that you young men from the West have. You would all do well to look at Thai history and realize that Thailand although changing has changed much less rapidly than most of the other economic hot spots in Asia over the past 40 years. Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met. Good luck to you all and don't worry so much about the old guys.

Most old men do not think or behave like you. You are not representative of the old people I know, nor of most old people in the world.

This is not an argument between old and young; in fact some young people share your peculiar prostitution-centric outlook on life.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[arthurwait]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

When I got here in 1968 I said exactly the same thing. I guess you don't know it but the old guys back then were Thai and a few British tobacco buyers. For a while Thailand was considered the tiger of Asia. Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore and Korea were all in the same boat in 1968. There were large red light areas in all five countries and I visited all of them as a soldier in SEA during the 1960's. The Korean girl bands were the best BTW (on and off stage).I know you don't believe me. I can see the disbelief coming across the pages but they were all the same. Singapore was dirty. Hong Kong was overrun with hookers. If you would have asked me to bet in 1968 who would be the Asian Tiger in 2000 I would have been hard pressed not to say Thailand. I know you are sorry to tell me Thailand is developing changing and improving. But Brit I have heard it before. I heard it in 1968. I heard it in 1996. And now you. I've got a couple of undergraduate degrees and one graduate degree. I got to Thailand the first time in 1968. I don't work anymore. I don't have to. Now think about this a while. Who would you trust? Me or you?

First of all

Poorly paid factory workers try to make extra money ? People play the lottery ?

Little detroit Eastern seaboard industrial estate ? It's in the country isn't it, surrounded by countryside and poor farms and the nearest big town is Pattaya isn't it ?

[DP25]

You guys are expending a lot of energy responding to a troll

[maxme]

You guys are expending a lot of energy responding to a troll

Not really, more like indulging ourselves

[arthurwait]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

You all could learn something if you started reading and stopped attacking. I realize you have very fragile young egos and have to be constantly on the lookout for 70 year old men stealing your women but in wisdom there is knowledge and security. Chances are greater with a Thai women than most others that the lady will have some old men in her background because of the cultural differences in the Thai society and the societies that you are used to at home. You have been raised in a youth culture that has taught you to think of old age as an ugly, dirty and defiling part of life. Your Thai lady has not. She has been taught to respect old age and has none of the negative stereotypes branded in her brain that you young men from the West have. You would all do well to look at Thai history and realize that Thailand although changing has changed much less rapidly than most of the other economic hot spots in Asia over the past 40 years. Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met. Good luck to you all and don't worry so much about the old guys.

Not all old people are like you and you seem to be confusing respecting old people and wanting to have sex with them with or without money involved.

Oh and no woman my age I know would have sex with a 70 year old so I don't have any worries about you stealing them.

[HardenedSoul]

Neither BJB nor Kerryk have answered the question I asked earlier.

Would they regard an old man offering their young grand/daughter money for sex as him doing a "favour" or being "helpful"?

[thaibeachlovers]

How did we get from a discussion about 'respect' to 'distrust and 7 million people not like my ex-wife'?

Have you been drinking again?

I think the point he's making is that your experiences with your ex-wife seem to have twisted your attitude and approach to women or, perhaps, simply amplified them - who knows?

I'm sure there are guys out here who've had as hard a time with marriages/divorces back home but some have managed to draw a line under those experiences. They are open-minded enough to treat people with the fundamental respect they deserve simply for being human.

Look, doing what you crusty old dinosaurs do is one thing but to crow and brag about it on a forum like TV is just plain crass. There must be other forums on the internet where perverts and depraved fossils in Thailand can discuss ways in which one can take sexual advantage of the poor, desperate girls in the countryside for the equivalent of a £20 note.

And, before TP chimes in with the "we'll see how you get your rocks off when you're our age" chestnut, let me just say this; I doubt I'll ever be depraved enough to have sex with a girl 40 or 50 years my junior while she's doing her best not to vomit in disgust at my fat, sweaty, Viagra-powered, beer-gutted carcass writhing all over her.

It is better to know what you are talking about before you go spouting off. Contrary to your opinions there are women in the world who don't want charity. They would rather work for cash than get a hand out. It has something to do with pride. I got here an almost illiterate country bumpkin at 22 with no advanced degrees and no experience. Pretty much like you. Now 40 plus years later, educated and experienced I am ready for and enjoying the Thai experience immensely. I have had my family in the West to include children and grandchildren and am not in the least bothered by your snide aspersions about sex and my age.You are an angry young man with a potty mouth. Not a good combination for making friends. Instead of insulting old guys you should be figuring out how to ingratiate yourself with them. They run things both in the West and Thailand. They get the prettiest girls and the best seats at the football games. Sounds like maybe you have figured that out and it bothers you. I don't think you should really ask about your wife or girlfriends past behavior. My God she might have slept with a man older than you! Heavens to Betsy.

I know exactly what I'm talking about and, unlike you, I didn't need 40 plus years to get to the point where I'm ready to "enjoy" what is still a country populated by folks who will never be described as "deep". Frankly,your argument's got more holes in it than the pair of "lucky" baby-boomer, Beach Boys Y-fronts I suspect you wear when out on the pull.

Sure there are women who prefer to work for their money but under the inept sexual administrations of an old porker and his pack of Cialis??!! I doubt it very much. Cleaning a house, a yard, a car, cooking, running errands - the list of possible tasks she could complete for money is endless. Pray tell, just how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her than it is by doing the jobs I mentioned? Perhaps you're just being disingenuous or, maybe - just maybe - you're trying to justify what you do by assigning it a seemingly innocuous euphemism; namely, "helping". You can do it until you're blue in the face - NO ONE BELIEVES YOU !!

Maybe old guys do run the world but I don't see any reason to ingratiate myself to the strain that indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls. I have had the pleasure of being "good friends" with many women and I didn't need to "run things" or have one foot in the grave and millions in the bank in order to do it.

As for the past behavior of any future wife/GF, I really, honestly, SINCERELY don't fish in the same pond as the likes of you so the question really would be academic.

<how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her> <indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls>

Making statements like that shows you to not know much about life.

Why is anyone "defiled" by having consensual sex? Are you "ageist"?

Your latter statement is more applicable to what YOUNG men do in Thailand, particulary THAI men!

[TommoPhysicist]

I know everything about my wife's past. She must of been with some right looser's. But least i don't have to worry about meeting them........they all commited suicide.

Did she ever meet anyone who was educated enough to spell 'loser' correctly?

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

I generally tend to find out about the woman I am with at the time, though I'm not that bothered about some specifics.

Only really had one woman who lied through her back teeth but it was easy to know because Thai people do not seem to have the memory to remain good and convincing liars.

Depending where you meet the woman, if you see her family and her friends can give you some good indicators about her.

Liars the world over find it hard to remember past stories they have told.

I tend to ask women the same questions in a few different ways over time and see if I get consistent answers. At least I know where I stand and what I can believe that way.

I agree about he general comments above.

With any relationship partner here, I always ask, gently and politely if things progress to the point of me considering her a potential partner, about past relationships for a couple of reasons.

1. I'm trying to understand if there's any trends or past behaviors that could affect or cause problems in our relationship.

2. It's part of the process of seeing whether or not you can establish some level of honesty and openness with a potential partner.

3. I really don't care about the details and particulars too much in terms of making any judgments. But I always try to establish some kind of timeline about past relationships and other life things, and then pay attention to whether those accounts/details change or stay the same in future conversation.

As for BeetleJuice's story above of the guy who's Thai wife had a threesome prior to their marriage with a couple of his friends... I don't think I'd be bothered much that she'd done that... might even be appreciative for opening a new door of sexual exploration in the relationship.

But I would be pretty displeased if I'd asked her before about her past relationships, and she'd entirely failed to mention that she'd bonked several of my friends.

I always tell my prospective partners... in any reasonably normal life, there's nothing you're going to tell me about past relationships that's going to make me think badly of you. But if I ask you and you lie to me about it, that's going to be a problem.

[mca]

Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met.

Only if your total exposure to Thai females is slithering through the rancid underbelly of Thailand. Your post is an insult to the millions of normal Thai women ( who for some reason a number of TVF posters seem to never come within a million miles of ) Not aimed at you kerryk but I've ran into a number of scrawny, seedy old western bastards when I worked in the hotel trade who seemed to think that everybody from the doorgirl to the housemaid to the receptionist was on the game.and a (as once charmingly described to me by some old &lt;deleted&gt; ) "life support system for a ####"

Quite distressing for the girls having to endure the "charms" of these turds with a fake smile on their face which the aforementioned turds took as a sign of encouragement..

[Pseudolus]

I am sorry to tell you Thailand is developing, changing and improving.

One day, everyone will wear a seatbelt in a car, or a helmet on a motorcycle.

One day, every Thai person will receive a decent education.

One day, people living in poverty will not be considered a fact of life.

One day, victims of abuse will not be seen as a symptom of Thai culture.

One day, sad old guys from the West will not be able to come to Thailand and hook up with desperate young native peasant girls.

I look forward to that day.

Actually, I would disagree with all of the above for the following reasons

1) No one will wear a seatbelt or Helmut. There is no appetite to enforce this due to cost restraints. The cops could but they don't bother. Change the enforcers attitudes you might get this, but that will never happen.

2) Aside from the financial aspects of this, Thailand education is the lowest in Asia (including Burma and Cambodia) taking into account length of study and quality. The rich elite need uneducated poor people enslaved to them. No appetite to chance this and in fact I would foresee this getting worse, not better.

3) Of course it will remain so; it is a fact of not only life here but also faith as well. They are out of sight and mind of most people who could effect a change here.

4) Victims of abuse and the lack of care, concern of even acceptance that this is a problem is the direct result of Thai culture. This will never change.

5) Sad old guys will be replaced with Guys of means. Pensions will not travel so well, but guys will always fall for Thai ladies like most of us have. If a gal likes an older man, that's her business, and just because I'm 36, does not mean I can comment on a 70 yr old if a girl chooses to be with him (even if it does give me the heebiejeebies to think about it).

As much as I would love it to change as you think it will, it won't. Because Thailand is not developing, only changing in a negative manner, and certainly not improving. The Youth are the future. Every one is a product of their environment. They see extortion, cheating, abuse, bribery, and all those repugnant acts as being the norm, Want proof? Read the poll conducted on said Thai people. 80% approve of corruption; they are the future and the reason nothing will get better

@Kerry

Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area.

By many I take it you mean many of the Thai people you are very lucky to know personally? The more enlightened ones I know simple have given up caring and carry on as before. Real democracy can never happen in this over legislated country and the senior political movers and shakers (not just politicians, but those in services as well like the police, Army etc) have too much to lose is democracy really turn up here.

Edited June 21, 2012 by Pseudolus

[HardenedSoul]

<how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her> <indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls>

Making statements like that shows you to not know much about life.

Why is anyone "defiled" by having consensual sex? Are you "ageist"?

Your latter statement is more applicable to what YOUNG men do in Thailand, particulary THAI men!

Do you really need someone to explain why the type of girl BJB's talking about are being defiled?

I know enough about life to know that, 9 times out of 10, a young girl will be unable to find much enjoyment taking a portion off a predatory 70 year old man. They grimace and bear it for the financial reward they receive at the end of their ordeal which may very well mean the difference between her child eating well that month or not.

If the girl is a "professional" hooker then fine. Her enjoyment of the act (or lack thereof) is of little consequence - it's her job, after all - but to coax a young, inexperienced country girl into having sex that'll likely have her retching during and after upon recollection by playing on her desperation for the cash to feed her kid is utterly disgusting . . . especially when you purport to be running some sort of finishing school.

[edwinclapham]

<how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her> <indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls>

Making statements like that shows you to not know much about life.

Why is anyone "defiled" by having consensual sex? Are you "ageist"?

Your latter statement is more applicable to what YOUNG men do in Thailand, particulary THAI men!

Do you really need someone to explain why the type of girl BJB's talking about are being defiled?

I know enough about life to know that, 9 times out of 10, a young girl will be unable to find much enjoyment taking a portion off a predatory 70 year old man. They grimace and bear it for the financial reward they receive at the end of their ordeal which may very well mean the difference between her child eating well that month or not.

If the girl is a "professional" hooker then fine. Her enjoyment of the act (or lack thereof) is of little consequence - it's her job, after all - but to coax a young, inexperienced country girl into having sex that'll likely have her retching during and after upon recollection by playing on her desperation for the cash to feed her kid is utterly disgusting . . . especially when you purport to be running some sort of finishing school.

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day 100% agree!

[kerryk]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

You all could learn something if you started reading and stopped attacking. I realize you have very fragile young egos and have to be constantly on the lookout for 70 year old men stealing your women but in wisdom there is knowledge and security. Chances are greater with a Thai women than most others that the lady will have some old men in her background because of the cultural differences in the Thai society and the societies that you are used to at home. You have been raised in a youth culture that has taught you to think of old age as an ugly, dirty and defiling part of life. Your Thai lady has not. She has been taught to respect old age and has none of the negative stereotypes branded in her brain that you young men from the West have. You would all do well to look at Thai history and realize that Thailand although changing has changed much less rapidly than most of the other economic hot spots in Asia over the past 40 years. Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met. Good luck to you all and don't worry so much about the old guys.

Hellen Keller watch out...

I've never seen such an absurd and stereotypic statement before.

You really think every little brown girl just adore you because they are that gullible and stupid... My, my, someone is in denial.

Yet again you show yourself incompetent to clarify what makes you think that Thailand isn't changing and don't drag in your time in Nam please. It's just pitiful. I guess you live and breath by that dogmatic pragma of yours and that's probably the reason why you won't move to the capital or the south. Coz then you just might be proven wrong and we don't what to happen now do we Kerry?

I am trying to respond but it is difficult. Little brown girl? Naw I won't go there. Thailand isn't changing? Now young man what did I say? That is not what I said. Review the other post and report back to the class. Lying is not good. Do you think Thailand has changed as much as Singapore in the past 40 years? Hmmmm. Or Taiwan? Or Korea? Get back to us when you decide to stop name calling and start debating. If you want to quote me you can't change the words. My time in Nam? Nam the word has always bothered me. I have never used it. I have never met anyone who has ever served in Vietnam that said Nam. Nor did I mention it here. We could talk about the time I fought with Thai troops in Laos. That would be interesting but I don't know if it would be on topic or not. Why don't I move from where I am? Because I own 100% of a company here. Americans can do that. It's because of that thing, we fought with Thai troops back in the 60's that you think is pitiful. Thais didn't think it was quite that pitiful so they signed a treaty giving Americans special rights in Thailand. You did ask me another question further down that I would be more than happy to respond to. I have more than one daughter. I have been lucky that they have chosen good men to marry for the most part. There was an exception. Daughter G. She picked a steroid taking weight lifter who also danced part time for a group of male dancers. I wanted her to marry an unexciting, not good looking, older pharmacist. I think the pharmacist wanted sex in exchange for marriage. It did look that way. She divorced the young boob and eventually married the horny pharmacist. And I hope he didn't ask her about her past because she was a bit of a wild child.

[kerryk]

Hmm is it possible that Ol' Kerry has given up?

You all could learn something if you started reading and stopped attacking. I realize you have very fragile young egos and have to be constantly on the lookout for 70 year old men stealing your women but in wisdom there is knowledge and security. Chances are greater with a Thai women than most others that the lady will have some old men in her background because of the cultural differences in the Thai society and the societies that you are used to at home. You have been raised in a youth culture that has taught you to think of old age as an ugly, dirty and defiling part of life. Your Thai lady has not. She has been taught to respect old age and has none of the negative stereotypes branded in her brain that you young men from the West have. You would all do well to look at Thai history and realize that Thailand although changing has changed much less rapidly than most of the other economic hot spots in Asia over the past 40 years. Given that Thailand is stuck with it's reputation as the brothel of Asia and will be for the foreseeable future it would be wise if you did not ask your lady too much about her past before you met. Good luck to you all and don't worry so much about the old guys.

Most old men do not think or behave like you. You are not representative of the old people I know, nor of most old people in the world.

This is not an argument between old and young; in fact some young people share your peculiar prostitution-centric outlook on life.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

Please tell me what my quote above has to do with your post? Put up or shut up. Where in the above post did I say anything prostitution centric? If on the other hand you made it up then I expect an apology. My name is Kerry in case you are wondering who you quoted.

[GarryP]

<how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her> <indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls>

Making statements like that shows you to not know much about life.

Why is anyone "defiled" by having consensual sex? Are you "ageist"?

Your latter statement is more applicable to what YOUNG men do in Thailand, particulary THAI men!

Do you really need someone to explain why the type of girl BJB's talking about are being defiled?

I know enough about life to know that, 9 times out of 10, a young girl will be unable to find much enjoyment taking a portion off a predatory 70 year old man. They grimace and bear it for the financial reward they receive at the end of their ordeal which may very well mean the difference between her child eating well that month or not.

If the girl is a "professional" hooker then fine. Her enjoyment of the act (or lack thereof) is of little consequence - it's her job, after all - but to coax a young, inexperienced country girl into having sex that'll likely have her retching during and after upon recollection by playing on her desperation for the cash to feed her kid is utterly disgusting . . . especially when you purport to be running some sort of finishing school.

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day 100% agree!

I think you are wrong. The bias against the elderly is a lot less prevalent here than in the west. Here they tend to be respected. Nor are quite large differences in age between local couples uncommon (I am talking about a 20 year or so difference). To say it is soley for money or that the woman is repulsed by her aging husband, is a gross exaggeration. I think your comments tell us much more about your own prejudices.

Edited June 21, 2012 by GarryP

[kerryk]

@Kerry

I get your point but you are missing it yet again. Nowdays many of the eduacted Thais distance themselves from Thai culture as they realize the potential with a real democracy and thus are not falling into same cycle of old bad habits as they might do in your area. A good education might clarify things but being raised in an environment where apathy is the common answer for the question "what to do about this situation" leads to a tradition where right and wrong is not questioned as this would bring shame on the family, simply because the elders didn't do anything about it.

It's an old habit that is dying because Thailand has to keep up the pace with the rest of the world. There is no way to do that if you keep this part of the culture. You are simply narrowing your scope to those immideate around you and thus don't have a clear picture of what everyone else thinks.

I seriously doubt any of my friends or my wife have ever met you or would ever think about it. People with good education and perception with the understanding how the world works don't fall into the same category as gullible, easy used and uneducated farm girls.

I don't know Max you don't seem to be doing very good at reading for an educated feller. I said in a previous post I didn't have a Thai farm girl in 1968 nor do I have one now. Are you obsessed with farm girls today? But you are right about knowing me. I don't know any pompous young people in Thailand. Most of my friends are engineers and not sales people. In the end Thais never distance themselves from their culture. A lot of countries have not realized this let alone young fellers who can't read very well. Not much has changed in Thailand about what you are talking about since 1400 or so the Portuguese traders wrote in their sailing logs. So I wouldn't bet on many changes soon. BTW my area is the East Coast of Thailand they call in little Detroit. No tourists but lots of industry. 100% full employment. The cute girls in the factory have a lottery for extra cash. You don't know about that right 555.

When I got here in 1968 I said exactly the same thing. I guess you don't know it but the old guys back then were Thai and a few British tobacco buyers. For a while Thailand was considered the tiger of Asia. Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore and Korea were all in the same boat in 1968. There were large red light areas in all five countries and I visited all of them as a soldier in SEA during the 1960's. The Korean girl bands were the best BTW (on and off stage).I know you don't believe me. I can see the disbelief coming across the pages but they were all the same. Singapore was dirty. Hong Kong was overrun with hookers. If you would have asked me to bet in 1968 who would be the Asian Tiger in 2000 I would have been hard pressed not to say Thailand. I know you are sorry to tell me Thailand is developing changing and improving. But Brit I have heard it before. I heard it in 1968. I heard it in 1996. And now you. I've got a couple of undergraduate degrees and one graduate degree. I got to Thailand the first time in 1968. I don't work anymore. I don't have to. Now think about this a while. Who would you trust? Me or you?

First of all

Poorly paid factory workers try to make extra money ? People play the lottery ?

Little detroit Eastern seaboard industrial estate ? It's in the country isn't it, surrounded by countryside and poor farms and the nearest big town is Pattaya isn't it ?

No, no and no. The lottery is conducted by the factory ladies. The ladies don't play the lottery. Pattaya is not the nearest big city. Pattaya is 3 hours away by bus. Rayong and Maptaphut are 5 minutes away. There is not much farming in the Gulf of Thailand (Ocean). There is not much farming around here at all. Oil is big a lot of refineries. Chevron and such. This is not a farm area at all. Every job pays more than farming. Every market, every gathering of people there are recruiters trying to hire people. They even give me applications. The recruiters play songs and dance and do stage productions. They bus people to work, provide free health care and housing even in some cases. Difficult to find enough employees. If Lek stays on the farm and gets exploited it's because she wants to. Employers are crying for people here. GM and Ford are on the corner every morning trying to hire. Poor farm girls ha ha ha.

[HardenedSoul]

<how, then, is her pride better preserved by allowing an old man to defile her> <indulges in the deliberate sexploitation of poor, inexperienced girls>

Making statements like that shows you to not know much about life.

Why is anyone "defiled" by having consensual sex? Are you "ageist"?

Your latter statement is more applicable to what YOUNG men do in Thailand, particulary THAI men!

Do you really need someone to explain why the type of girl BJB's talking about are being defiled?

I know enough about life to know that, 9 times out of 10, a young girl will be unable to find much enjoyment taking a portion off a predatory 70 year old man. They grimace and bear it for the financial reward they receive at the end of their ordeal which may very well mean the difference between her child eating well that month or not.

If the girl is a "professional" hooker then fine. Her enjoyment of the act (or lack thereof) is of little consequence - it's her job, after all - but to coax a young, inexperienced country girl into having sex that'll likely have her retching during and after upon recollection by playing on her desperation for the cash to feed her kid is utterly disgusting . . . especially when you purport to be running some sort of finishing school.

You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day 100% agree!

I think you are wrong. The bias against the elderly is a lot less prevalent here than in the west. Here they tend to be respected. Nor are quite large differences in age between local couples uncommon (I am talking about a 20 year or so difference). To say it is soley for money or that the woman is repulsed by her aging husband, is a gross exaggeration. I think your comments tell us much more about your own prejudices.

The generally higher level of respect that Thais have for older people doesn't translate to a non-working Thai woman's greater ability to hold down her lunch should she engage in sex with a 70 yr old. &lt;deleted&gt; to that culture chestnut the dirty old men roll out. If it's so bloody acceptable then why is the country so desperate to shed its image as Asia's brothel? Why don't girls put their tour of duty at a go-go on Cowboy on their CV if they apply for a normal job? Why do freelancers carry a change of respectable clothes if they spend the night at a punter's place? Why are so many bargirls emotionally damaged by their experiences in the industry? Let's cut the BS and tell it like it is.

I will concede that there may very well be cases where old guys are in relationships with women significantly younger but surely most would concede that the lifestyle/money provided by a relatively well-off elderly man will play a larger part in compensating her for her toil than the old geezer would readily admit.

Look, I've no problems with old blokes getting laid. Why shouldn't they but, hey, there are professional prostitutes aplenty to accommodate their desires. Grooming young farm fresh girls for a life on the game is bang out of order.

[DrTuner]

I bound her to a chair, set up a bright light, lie detector and injected some truth serum. Matters of such utmost importance must be brought to light.

Actually, I don't give a ****, as long as I still lead on the scoreboard, which I'm pretty certain I do. Competitive nature and all that.