Problem Drinking

[SJN]

I don't reckon there's much point in going until you think you've got a problem. For me, I was less worried that I couldn't slow down, than that I coouldn't stop.

SC

Thanks. U r right..i think. I shouldn't worry much. Behavior change after drinking...should one be worried about that too by the way?

[StreetCowboy]

I don't reckon there's much point in going until you think you've got a problem. For me, I was less worried that I couldn't slow down, than that I coouldn't stop.

SC

Thanks. U r right..i think. I shouldn't worry much. Behavior change after drinking...should one be worried about that too by the way?

I never noticed...

If you're happy with the way things are now, then I doubt you'll particularly want to stop anyway, so I don't see any point in going to AA until you do want to stop

SC

[SJN]

I never noticed...

If you're happy with the way things are now, then I doubt you'll particularly want to stop anyway, so I don't see any point in going to AA until you do want to stop

SC

HOnestly, i don't even once think of going to AA. just feel sometimes i regret what i did after being drunk. lol anyway, shouldn't have said much here. Just guess people feel that sometimes.

[kerryk]

A lot of guys just go for the promises.

[Geekfreaklover]

I don't know if i have problem drinking, but once i start drinking, i just find myself hard to slow down. Is this the sign of having drinking problem?

Yes. If you are thinking that you have a drinking problem then you have a drinking problem. The thinking about it is that which causes the problem. If you didn't think about it then it would cease to be a problem.

I agree with two posters above. Look at your drinking history objectively, consider the steps, and find out what is best for you. Usually one can set a limit and stick by it, some have to lay off. Find out what is best for you.

Edited June 24, 2012 by Geekfreaklover

[kerryk]

AA doesn't advertise. I sometimes feel stupid even talking about it. I sure don't want to sound like I ever am trying to convince a person to go to an AA meeting.

[Johnniey]

Don't worry too much about the 12 steps.

Concentrate on getting and staying sober and absorbing all the good advice and hints you will receive from AA in that endeavour.

My personal advice is not to rush in and get yourself a sponsor and don't worry too much about starting to work the 12 steps. Just take it slowly. There are many who will be more than willing to take you in hand - some are very good and well intentioned; others less so. So use your own judgement after you have got to know the potential sponsors for a while.

There is much good stuff in the 12 step programme which has little to do with spirituality, but ultimately you will have to think about spiritual matters, and then its up to you how far you wish to take take it.

Certainly there is a wealth of research that suggests that for many alcoholics - but not all - an acceptance of spirituality is an effective way of becoming a long term sober alcoholic and a means of turning your life around.

Just take it easy and don't be put off by people or ideas that may seem to be a bit of an anathema to you right now.

Good luck mate.

The 12 step program IS a spiritual program.

Edited June 24, 2012 by Johnniey

[Mobi]

Don't worry too much about the 12 steps.

Concentrate on getting and staying sober and absorbing all the good advice and hints you will receive from AA in that endeavour.

My personal advice is not to rush in and get yourself a sponsor and don't worry too much about starting to work the 12 steps. Just take it slowly. There are many who will be more than willing to take you in hand - some are very good and well intentioned; others less so. So use your own judgement after you have got to know the potential sponsors for a while.

There is much good stuff in the 12 step programme which has little to do with spirituality, but ultimately you will have to think about spiritual matters, and then its up to you how far you wish to take take it.

Certainly there is a wealth of research that suggests that for many alcoholics - but not all - an acceptance of spirituality is an effective way of becoming a long term sober alcoholic and a means of turning your life around.

Just take it easy and don't be put off by people or ideas that may seem to be a bit of an anathema to you right now.

Good luck mate.

The 12 step program IS a spiritual program.

if you read my post very carefully there is nothing there that is in contradiction with what you have just posted.

Edited June 24, 2012 by Mobi

[MrRealDeal]

I don't know if i have problem drinking, but once i start drinking, i just find myself hard to slow down. Is this the sign of having drinking problem?

That would be a sign of a problem IF you are really trying not to drink so much but really can't , but it seems to me you are in the . i'm not to sure stage . but you also seem to know that if you want to slow down but can't then you will have to admit you have a problem. Just set yourself a limit and stick with it. Your problem is obvious enough to much more talking and no action and I'm gonna start thinking troll.

An AA type for whoever asked would be someone who feels they need to whine moan and complain and listen to others do the same at frequent meetings and take 12 steps to cure their drinking problem. If thats what they think and it works fine , but as you shoud know it was an organisation that was started to try and make christians out of drunks not just to help drunks by some evanglist type.

[GrahamF]

I just want to update you guys on my situation. I have been dry for just over a week now and feel great for it. All your experiences, comments and information have been great and actually helped me in small but significant ways, so thank you very much for that.

I have been invited to go drinking with friends, Thursday, Friday and Saturday but found it surprisingly easy this time to say no. I had a few weak moments Friday and Sat afternoon, but after doing some breathing techniques I have been reading about managed to steer myself in the right direction.

Tonight is the AA meeting that I was planning on going to. However in my current frame of mind I feel strong enough to not go, or would that be slightly deluding and foolish? Am I just in a false sense of security? I know one wrong step and I could be back to step one again.

Cheers.

About 10-12 years ago, I gave up drinking, on my own, for a little over a year. I was miserable, and white knuckled it. Then I thought I could drink normally again, I was wrong. My drinking got progressively worse. Mobi's posts on relapse are very good, and I've met hundreds of alcoholics who have felt stronger and better and ended up relapsing. I understand your reticence about attending your first AA meeting, I was really nervous and ashamed, when I went to my first one as well. However, I would strongly suggest that you go to some meetings, it won't do you any harm.

[kerryk]

I don't know if i have problem drinking, but once i start drinking, i just find myself hard to slow down. Is this the sign of having drinking problem?

That would be a sign of a problem IF you are really trying not to drink so much but really can't , but it seems to me you are in the . i'm not to sure stage . but you also seem to know that if you want to slow down but can't then you will have to admit you have a problem. Just set yourself a limit and stick with it. Your problem is obvious enough to much more talking and no action and I'm gonna start thinking troll.

An AA type for whoever asked would be someone who feels they need to whine moan and complain and listen to others do the same at frequent meetings and take 12 steps to cure their drinking problem. If thats what they think and it works fine , but as you shoud know it was an organisation that was started to try and make christians out of drunks not just to help drunks by some evanglist type.

What follows is a letter from Bill Wilson the founder of AA to some members in Chicago.

"That you seemed disillusioned with me personally may be a new and painful experience for you but many members have had that experience with me. Most of their pain has been caused not only by my several shortcomings but by their own insistence on placing me, a drunk, trying to get along with other folks, upon a completely illusionary pedestal; a station which no fallible person could possible occupy.

"I'm sure that you will understand that I have never held myself out to anybody as either a saint or a superman. I have repeatedly and truthfully said that A.A. is full of people who have made more spiritual progress than I ever, or can make. That in some areas of living I have made some decided gains but in others I seem to have stood still. And in others, still other ways I may have gone backwards. I am sorry that you are disillusioned with me but I am happy that even I have found a life here."

Bill Wilson

1960

I'm an atheist and I don't see any conflict in my beliefs and AA.

I am a fun guy and I don't hear any whining at AA meetings. Pattaya has the best and most fun AA meetings I have ever been to.

I don't know where you are writing from but since it is 2.30 AM Thailand time I assume you are not writing from Thailand. Where ever you come from I am sorry you have had a bad experience with AA. It is certainly not universal in AA nor is AA a bunch or religious nut cases.

[MrRealDeal]

I don't know if i have problem drinking, but once i start drinking, i just find myself hard to slow down. Is this the sign of having drinking problem?

That would be a sign of a problem IF you are really trying not to drink so much but really can't , but it seems to me you are in the . i'm not to sure stage . but you also seem to know that if you want to slow down but can't then you will have to admit you have a problem. Just set yourself a limit and stick with it. Your problem is obvious enough to much more talking and no action and I'm gonna start thinking troll.

An AA type for whoever asked would be someone who feels they need to whine moan and complain and listen to others do the same at frequent meetings and take 12 steps to cure their drinking problem. If thats what they think and it works fine , but as you shoud know it was an organisation that was started to try and make christians out of drunks not just to help drunks by some evanglist type.

What follows is a letter from Bill Wilson the founder of AA to some members in Chicago.

"That you seemed disillusioned with me personally may be a new and painful experience for you but many members have had that experience with me. Most of their pain has been caused not only by my several shortcomings but by their own insistence on placing me, a drunk, trying to get along with other folks, upon a completely illusionary pedestal; a station which no fallible person could possible occupy.

"I'm sure that you will understand that I have never held myself out to anybody as either a saint or a superman. I have repeatedly and truthfully said that A.A. is full of people who have made more spiritual progress than I ever, or can make. That in some areas of living I have made some decided gains but in others I seem to have stood still. And in others, still other ways I may have gone backwards. I am sorry that you are disillusioned with me but I am happy that even I have found a life here."

Bill Wilson

1960

I'm an atheist and I don't see any conflict in my beliefs and AA.

I am a fun guy and I don't hear any whining at AA meetings. Pattaya has the best and most fun AA meetings I have ever been to.

I don't know where you are writing from but since it is 2.30 AM Thailand time I assume you are not writing from Thailand. Where ever you come from I am sorry you have had a bad experience with AA. It is certainly not universal in AA nor is AA a bunch or religious nut cases.

All that depends on your tolerance for listening to people "share" their experiences and how you feel about relegion is all ..... Pretty much everyone who likes AA has your opinion and people that don't have mine. But I don't think any of them are nut cases , just not for me is all.

[kerryk]

Not debating or even disagreeing with anyone.

Just my experience.

At first I didn't like AA meetings. I used to run out quick at the end so no one would have a chance to talk to me.

Then I got a sponsor and he insisted I become an officer of the group which I did. I had to be at the meetings early and leave late.

I still didn't like them much. I asked my sponsor how long I had to keep going. He told me, “till I enjoyed the meetings and then I could stop.”

It was about 3 years till I really enjoyed them. I was pretty screwed up, very judgmental.

It was difficult for me to believe how much alcohol had changed me. It was at least three years booze free before I began to wake up and really see myself. 90 days gets the booze out of your system but I found for me it was 3 years alcohol free life before I began to see the real me.

[impulse]

An AA type for whoever asked would be someone who feels they need to whine moan and complain and listen to others do the same at frequent meetings and take 12 steps to cure their drinking problem. If thats what they think and it works fine , but as you shoud know it was an organisation that was started to try and make christians out of drunks not just to help drunks by some evanglist type.

You're not going to the right meetings, then.

Not all meetings are good for all types of people.

It's true there are meetings that draw people just as you describe.

But there's always a different meeting down the street or on a different night full of upbeat folks enjoying the hell out of life.

[ExpatJ]

I don't know if i have problem drinking, but once i start drinking, i just find myself hard to slow down. Is this the sign of having drinking problem?

Yes. If you are thinking that you have a drinking problem then you have a drinking problem. The thinking about it is that which causes the problem. If you didn't think about it then it would cease to be a problem.

I agree with two posters above. Look at your drinking history objectively, consider the steps, and find out what is best for you. Usually one can set a limit and stick by it, some have to lay off. Find out what is best for you.

"If you are thinking that you have a drinking problem then you have a drinking problem"- I don't think that is always correct- perhaps there is such a thing as hypochondriac alcoholics? Surely, if it is a disease then we would expect a significant number of people to be so? Those that feel they have a problem when in fact they don't really.

I like mobi's point about heavy drinkers v alcoholics. A close friend of my family was a heavy drinker (drunk most evenings), but he held down a job and marriage and lived an otherwise normal life (died in his sleep in his 80s), ditto my mother (who is 80 and has clean bill of health from recent check up). I guess they were/are lucky for having good constitutions and tolerance to drink. Or perhaps there is no difference btw alcoholics and heavy drinkers? In the same way that TB effected people can be divided into those where the disease lays dormant for their whole lives and it doesn't effect them but in others it manifests and kills them.

[crazykopite]

The OP relizes he has a drink problem that is why he has had the courage to open up his heart to all in the hope that some sound advice can be offered, those who cannot offer helpful advice should use there skills elsewhere ie looking at themselves to see if they have some sort of problem !!!!

[kerryk]

I am curious. What happened to the OP? Did he go to a meeting? Did he go out drinking?

It is like sharing. It is a win situation for some and a lose situation for others or perhaps a win win situation regardless of the result. I guess it depends on your point of view.

[Big Cannon]

Hello, your problems in many ways mirror my own. I am 34 now and have been off it for 6 months. It is only now I can look back and see what the life I have lead has cost me.

I come from a rural Island in the far north of Scotland, its the type of place where if you aint a heavy drinker your viewed as being odd. I often think booze might have come out of my mothers teet.

From the age of 13 i was into drugs and by 15 every fri-sun was a drug and booze fest, this continued until my early 20s at which stage for my own sanity I began cutting out the narcotics, it took me until my late twenties to be free of them but the booze remained a constant.

i have had periods of severe destrucive alchohol cycles right up until stopping 6 months ago. My ability to consume booze used to be a great source of pride for me, when I started coming to Thailand in my mid 20s for two months a time, I would drink upwards of 30 beers every day, I seem to have something inside me that makes alchhol have a very different effect than in most people. It affects me almost like amphetamine, on occasions I have drank 48 hrs non stop, yet when people speak to me I can *appear almost sober* The truth however is that a world of shit is going on, often resulting in fights, periods in jail, stolen cars, lost possessions, pissing myself, coming round in hospital, massive unaccounted spending, missed flights, hurt loved ones, dangerous liasons with the worst scrubbers in Thailand, etc etc etc.

During my life I have know close to a dozen people deceased through drinking and drugs all under the age of 30, several of whom I counted amogst my best friends. It was actually the death of one of my oldest mates that made me determined to bring down the curtain on my drinking. This guy died at 26, a destroyed alchoholic, he fell down in a ditch in the heart of winter and froze to death.

The hardest part of a life of sobriety on is the empytiness. when drinking my life cycle went like this, work 60 hr jobs live like a hermit save around 5k, fly to Thailand, start drinking, normally for two months by which time the finances were destroyed, I would only stop when I had exausted every resource back home that would loan me money. At the end of these binges I would pretty much have to lie in a dark room going through the withdrawls for a week to 10 days, normally consuming disgusting amounts of 10mg valium in the proccess. Only when i felt I looked good enough that the wife back home would not suspect anything would i crawl home.

The most important first step is remove yourself from the enviroments, peer pressure has always played a massive part with me because I was brought up to believe that heavy drinking was the norm and people who passed were, pussies. It is true what several posters here have said about other drinkers thinking you can just slow down, or have a few, get a grip, etc etc. These people are the worst to associated with. It can be hard cutting them out if you consider them mates but it is a vital step to remaining sober.

The long empty hours can be hard to fill for me and bouts of depression are quite frequent. I try to fill my time with bike trips, reaing and, fishing. I have even started boxing training, but I have severe difficulty in socialising without the lubricant of alchohol, and generally spend far to much time alone. This void I believe will take years to fill and might in fact never be filled. One other major problem I had was the caring what other people though, you do feel a pillock sitting in a bar drinking *poof juice* as they call it. I just dont feel there is a point being in bars or out if not drinking because it has been ingrained in me that, there is no other reason for going.

I still dream of the tasted of it, and probably always will however I have now conditioned my mind to think of the most negative things which have happened on it, as soon as the urge hits me.

Another thing i do often is think to myself, in the past i would go out and drink up 10,000 baht today, instead I am going to go buy that new, camera, mp3, computer game, or whatever else. I do this often and in my mind think of all these things as rewards for my continuing sobriety. I will often look at all the nice gear i own when the urges come, and think, *I have all this because i do not drink anymore, I have a nice place to stay, i have cash in the bank, i owe no one anything, then I will visualise the time in Phuket when I got involved in a dispute and was kicked near to death, requiring 40,000 baht on hospital fees, and later plastic surgery..

You should do this all the time, think about the positives of sober life the think about the worst times drinking. One example, now I weigh 86 kg and am only smoking 15-20 a day, im looking better than ever,, when I was drinking I was 110 kg, smoked from 2-5 packs a night, felt disgusted with myself all the time. Thinks things like this all the time, it really can be anything from having a top class meal to staying in a nicer than usual hotel.

Another thing i do is look at the old photos of myself when i was 100kg plus lump of lard, I have some real bad snaps, including ones of me in hospital after my Phuket mauling, i often look at that then switch to a more recent one where a 86kg handsome beast is kicking the shit out of a muay thai pad....... Thats me now, thats how I am and thats how I want to stay I think.

For me there is no doubt its about gaining control of your own mind. In the past i would scoff and some of the things i think now and the idea of reading any self help book i would find absurd. Even now i think the majority of them are full of shit but despite this you can get a few true nuggets of wisdom out of them.

I have a long way to go to be able to say i am happy in my sober life. Often it seems there is little or no joy and i do consider saying <deleted> it quite often and holding it going until the end, yet i know that now at my age my body would never hold out, generally since past 30 a two day binges leaves me destroyed for the best part of a week, my behaviou during the drinking also is worse than when i was younger and the high is no where near the same. Thats the main point for me, I know now i can never re-capture the highs of my earlier years no matter how hard i try.

I have had problems with most things i used to enjoy and struggle to do anything in moderation, I often wonder if i might have some undiagnosed mental condition. It was the same with gambling and narcotics either abstain or to digusting exess. Even with eating, internet, fishing and every thing else in life i find it difficult to walk the middle ground.

I realise i have rambled on quite a bit but feel there might be one or two things that will be of some use to you. I would also be very interested to hear about your opinions on the AA or any other programmes you try. I have so far never sought any proffesional help but I know deep down i have to start talking and get out more, and also try to lift my depressive cycles.

Good luck and stay srong.

Dave

[kerryk]

You are right. I had a friend who told me there would be no problem with me just having a few beers and then stopping. He was my best friend in Thailand. He had no idea of the demons I faced internally and how much devastation that booze had caused in my life and the life of my family.

He wasn't a bad guy. He had no idea he was proposing my death.

I was lucky I got into AA at the beginning of my sobriety on the advice of my Psychiatrist and he prescribed medication, AA and therapy sessions. The combination of the three worked for me and eventually I cut down to AA alone.

I read the stories here about people cutting back as opposed to abstinence. It has been my experience that cutting back on drinking works about 1 % of the time. Abstinence works about 5% of the time.

The crux of the matter is in the mind of the alcoholic. If your an alcoholic cutting back and not quitting has to work. Being an alcoholic is like having a demon inside with his own personality and that personality will do anything to continue to drink. It is like Jekyll and Hyde.

In this forum I have read many arguments about AA and it is easy to see the demons fight for existence.

There are a couple of boxers who go to AA in Pattaya. Interesting guys.

[Jessi]

I read the stories here about people cutting back as opposed to abstinence. It has been my experience that cutting back on drinking works about 1 % of the time. Abstinence works about 5% of the time.

Where did you get these numbers from link please?

[StreetCowboy]

I read the stories here about people cutting back as opposed to abstinence. It has been my experience that cutting back on drinking works about 1 % of the time. Abstinence works about 5% of the time.

Where did you get these numbers from link please?

If my English serves me well, he said "from my experience" (his kerryk's, not mine streetcowboy's) and went on to say "about" because the numbers were estimates, rather than precise calculations. We're all of us different, to some greater or lesser degree, but I would certainly concur with kerryk, that abstinence is a far more effective control of one's alcoholism than moderation, and that many of us find it hard to abstain to the death.

Whether going a week, or a month, or a year or twenty years between binges is 'working'; well, that's for the individual to decide.

SC

[Jessi]

I read the stories here about people cutting back as opposed to abstinence. It has been my experience that cutting back on drinking works about 1 % of the time. Abstinence works about 5% of the time.

Where did you get these numbers from link please?

If my English serves me well, he said "from my experience" (his kerryk's, not mine streetcowboy's) and went on to say "about" because the numbers were estimates, rather than precise calculations. We're all of us different, to some greater or lesser degree, but I would certainly concur with kerryk, that abstinence is a far more effective control of one's alcoholism than moderation, and that many of us find it hard to abstain to the death.

Whether going a week, or a month, or a year or twenty years between binges is 'working'; well, that's for the individual to decide.

SC

Yes but what makes kerry an expert to produce these numbers.

I have been a sober member of AA for over thirty years & IMO all these numbers are rubbery, so why do people quote them?

[kerryk]

I read the stories here about people cutting back as opposed to abstinence. It has been my experience that cutting back on drinking works about 1 % of the time. Abstinence works about 5% of the time.

Where did you get these numbers from link please?

Jessi I wrote, "It has been my experience."

[StreetCowboy]

I read the stories here about people cutting back as opposed to abstinence. It has been my experience that cutting back on drinking works about 1 % of the time. Abstinence works about 5% of the time.

Where did you get these numbers from link please?

If my English serves me well, he said "from my experience" (his kerryk's, not mine streetcowboy's) and went on to say "about" because the numbers were estimates, rather than precise calculations. We're all of us different, to some greater or lesser degree, but I would certainly concur with kerryk, that abstinence is a far more effective control of one's alcoholism than moderation, and that many of us find it hard to abstain to the death.

Whether going a week, or a month, or a year or twenty years between binges is 'working'; well, that's for the individual to decide.

SC

Yes but what makes kerry an expert to produce these numbers.

I have been a sober member of AA for over thirty years & IMO all these numbers are rubbery, so why do people quote them?

I don't think he ever claimed to be an expert. If you want to argue with people who make up spurious numbers, you'll be forever on a losing wicket.

Though to be fair, of all the people I have seen pass through our AA meetings, far more have gone out and drunk again than have died sober. And to be honest, I would rather it was that way, since I think the chances of recovering from relapse are greater than the chances of recovering from a sober death.

I would disagree with Mr K's numbers, on the grounds that in my view if one is sober today, or sober until you finish work, and you are not distressed about recent damage, then whaterver you are doing is working, whether it be abstinence, moderation or drinking to excess. If you are not happy with how things are going, then its not working. So for me, abstinence is working today. And a few weeks ago, moderation was working. Unfortunately, it stopped working, so I tried something different - again.

SC

I'll be getting my knuckles rapped again, for commenting on moderation

EDIT: Repetition deleted

Edited June 27, 2012 by StreetCowboy

[Jessi]

I first went to AA in 1969 but I wasn't sick enough.

Then when I went back in 1979 oh yes I was sick enough both physical & mental.

I was brought up in AA on some good old fashioned tough love. If I had a problem and called my sponsor, he would just say "Have you had a drink today" I would reply NO so then he would just say in his wisdom "Go to a meeting tonight and there is a good chance you wont drink tomorrow" and so it has continued till this day.

When I first got sober I kept asking him about the steps, his reply was " Your too sick to even consider the steps yet it will all come with time Just keep sober " "One day at a time" All of this came true after my brain had settled down but it took time.

Another problem I had was with the God or Higher Power thing, once again I needed to be guided by the older members, so now I'm an atheist,,,, so what I have not needed to pick up a drink.

Sobriety has NOT been a bed of roses but it sure beats the hell out of being a slave to alcohol.

I have met many friends in AA over the years, they have all remained sober or died sober that was another thing I was to learn in AA Stick with the winners.

Now lets get back to these so called numbers. For years I have been hearing this but where is the proof? In the early 1980 they were saying that 7% of AA members stayed sober, I think they must have been counting all the ones that walk through the door. Strange thing is the real alcoholics that got sober around the same time as me remain sober, What % I don't know, it really is not important.

What is Important is that I don't need to have a drink today..

[kerryk]

I first went to AA in 1969 but I wasn't sick enough.

Then when I went back in 1979 oh yes I was sick enough both physical & mental.

I was brought up in AA on some good old fashioned tough love. If I had a problem and called my sponsor, he would just say "Have you had a drink today" I would reply NO so then he would just say in his wisdom "Go to a meeting tonight and there is a good chance you wont drink tomorrow" and so it has continued till this day.

When I first got sober I kept asking him about the steps, his reply was " Your too sick to even consider the steps yet it will all come with time Just keep sober " "One day at a time" All of this came true after my brain had settled down but it took time.

Another problem I had was with the God or Higher Power thing, once again I needed to be guided by the older members, so now I'm an atheist,,,, so what I have not needed to pick up a drink.

Sobriety has NOT been a bed of roses but it sure beats the hell out of being a slave to alcohol.

I have met many friends in AA over the years, they have all remained sober or died sober that was another thing I was to learn in AA Stick with the winners.

Now lets get back to these so called numbers. For years I have been hearing this but where is the proof? In the early 1980 they were saying that 7% of AA members stayed sober, I think they must have been counting all the ones that walk through the door. Strange thing is the real alcoholics that got sober around the same time as me remain sober, What % I don't know, it really is not important.

What is Important is that I don't need to have a drink today..

Good advice but I think we have failed the OP. I would imagine he did not get to a meeting and started drinking again. Hope I am wrong.

[Jessi]

I hope not also, because for the Alcoholic to go out & drink again can mean DEATH...Its not pretty I have seen a few in my day & its not the way I would choose to go that's why I stay very very close to AA.

[kerryk]

I got the feeling he was afraid to go to a meeting. I have read a lot of negative things on this forum about going to AA meetings. But really! What's the worst thing that can happen to a person going to an AA meeting? It's not like someone is going to run up to you and brand with two scarlet AA letters on your forehead.

The worst thing that could possibly happen is you stop drinking.

This scares the demon of drink. So you get a lot of negative AA stuff.

The worst thing about not going to a meeting? You might die. Or worse.

[StreetCowboy]

I got the feeling he was afraid to go to a meeting. I have read a lot of negative things on this forum about going to AA meetings. But really! What's the worst thing that can happen to a person going to an AA meeting? It's not like someone is going to run up to you and brand with two scarlet AA letters on your forehead.

The worst thing that could possibly happen is you stop drinking.

This scares the demon of drink. So you get a lot of negative AA stuff.

The worst thing about not going to a meeting? You might die. Or worse.

I don't really think that sort of scare-mongering helps most of the people that read this forum. From what I read, there are few that are on the brink of drinking themselves to an imminent death, and they're more likely to think - "it's not for me; I'm not that bad" when they see comments like the above.

But if people think "I'm fed up losing my phone and waking up in the park - or I don't want to go to the next level and wake up in the park; I'm fed up sleeping through my kids' activities and don't want my wife to leave me...", then maybe they'll see that AA is not just for near-deathers, and hopefully they'll never even come close to that situation.

You're welcome in AA, even if you're still many years away from drinking yourself to death.

SC

[kerryk]

I got the feeling he was afraid to go to a meeting. I have read a lot of negative things on this forum about going to AA meetings. But really! What's the worst thing that can happen to a person going to an AA meeting? It's not like someone is going to run up to you and brand with two scarlet AA letters on your forehead.

The worst thing that could possibly happen is you stop drinking.

This scares the demon of drink. So you get a lot of negative AA stuff.

The worst thing about not going to a meeting? You might die. Or worse.

I don't really think that sort of scare-mongering helps most of the people that read this forum. From what I read, there are few that are on the brink of drinking themselves to an imminent death, and they're more likely to think - "it's not for me; I'm not that bad" when they see comments like the above.

But if people think "I'm fed up losing my phone and waking up in the park - or I don't want to go to the next level and wake up in the park; I'm fed up sleeping through my kids' activities and don't want my wife to leave me...", then maybe they'll see that AA is not just for near-deathers, and hopefully they'll never even come close to that situation.

You're welcome in AA, even if you're still many years away from drinking yourself to death.

SC

No, no I wasn't talking about that kind of death. I was talking about the drunk and drugged in Pattaya pushed of the back of a motorcycle type of death (personal experience there). I was talking about the kicked out by the good wife for drinking and staying out with floozies type emotional death (personal experience there). I was talking about children being negatively affected and hurting themselves (personal experience). I was talking about suicide (yes, I know a bunch of people) type of death. Either way it seems clear. Going to a meeting is not going to harm anyone except the person who wants to keep drinking.