Moving To Thailand...How Hard Can It Be?

[TommoPhysicist]

Very wise words IMO, and if your desire to move here is fueled by dreams planted by a Thai wife then I can pretty much guarantee reality won't seem nearly as rosy.

You are the man, do as you think is best for the family unit. Obviously do your best to keep/make her happy as well, but that should not include moving to anywhere less than six hours' travel to her family seat or you will lose your rightful place as head of the house.

And it's quite possible you'll lose a lot more than that. She agreed to go along with you in your life, be careful you don't turn the steering wheel over unless you're willing to become a passenger.

I agree about the six hours distance from the family if it is an Isaan bargirl hoax marriage, but if it is a genuine partnership then the parents being nearby can be a great advantage especially if there are kids and child-care opportunities. My partner's mother has never asked for a bean in six years, has loaned me money in times of need, and helps out with the kids every week when she is not working.

I'm surrounded by her rellys, but once they learnt I didn't have any money to hand out they all disappeared back into the woodwork. Apart from her younger sister (BG in Pattaya) who everyone seems to think I should marry as a second wife, no family problems.

Edited June 23, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[ebmzlm]

One thing is important in Thailamd and anywhere. Cash doesn't last forever, you need a disposable income coming in every month, otherwise forget the dream!

[jubby]

Many here will know that you have spent nearly half your lifetime here in the Kingdom ... and seem relatively happy.

I wonder how your expectations have mitigated over the intervening years since first arriving at the shores?

Directly to your question ... most times it's relatively easy to physically move here ... then the realities that you allude to above kick in and then I wonder if you are ‘happy and here’ as opposed to just 'here'?

I wonder how necronx99's big adventure will play out over the years?

Having been here for roughly 35 of my 58 year of existence puts me a little over half I think, and yes quite happy. You are spot on with your wondering about how things change over time. I often refer to it as aiming at a moving target. Each step you take moves the target and each day that passes changes aspects of the target.

Isn’t that the way life is supposed to be? You can’t book a move to Thailand the way you book a holiday package. It is a big adventure, as you say, and at some point you just have to make the first step. Everything changes with that first step as you are suddenly in a whole new scene or a whole new play.

There is no way of knowing how things will turn out in advance. As young as I was, I’m not sure what expectations I had other than to follow that piece of wood I used as my divining rod. The thing is you can’t know until you try and even then things change at every fork in the road.

So you admit to following your penis rather than your head or am I reading this wrong !?

[expatdreamer]

Not really retired then by the sounds of it and a whole new onion is about to relieve itself to you soon I think. Perhaps time to write a decent book?

I haven’t worked since I was 40 so I have been retired for quite some time. I think I will stick to writing my blog, though I am working on an eBook version of the blog.

I guess you could call me one of those posters that has asked questions about moving to Thailand years in advance of it potentially happening. I think part of it is how comfortable one is with risk, and that is a very individual thing - for some, they may be quite happy throwing caution to the wind and just making the move lock stock and barrel without much in the way of planning.

I think many would be envious of how you made the move in your early twenties and made a success of it (with a glamorous home and wife to boot - have read some of your blog) , rather than following the well trodden path of marrying someone in their home country, children, the divorce some years later and then trying to recover financially - which in many cases may take them well into their 50s or 60s if at all.

If I can ask, what line of work were you in up until retiring in Thailand (aside from investing in stocks) - that must have also helped being able to retire at 40. Also how did you find the visa issues prior to getting married - did you have to go back to the US many times? And finally, how did you know very early on that a life in Thailand was what you wanted, and how did your parents react when you informed them, assuming they werent the ones recommending it?

[villagefarang]

Many here will know that you have spent nearly half your lifetime here in the Kingdom ... and seem relatively happy.

I wonder how your expectations have mitigated over the intervening years since first arriving at the shores?

Directly to your question ... most times it's relatively easy to physically move here ... then the realities that you allude to above kick in and then I wonder if you are ‘happy and here’ as opposed to just 'here'?

I wonder how necronx99's big adventure will play out over the years?

Having been here for roughly 35 of my 58 year of existence puts me a little over half I think, and yes quite happy. You are spot on with your wondering about how things change over time. I often refer to it as aiming at a moving target. Each step you take moves the target and each day that passes changes aspects of the target.

Isn’t that the way life is supposed to be? You can’t book a move to Thailand the way you book a holiday package. It is a big adventure, as you say, and at some point you just have to make the first step. Everything changes with that first step as you are suddenly in a whole new scene or a whole new play.

There is no way of knowing how things will turn out in advance. As young as I was, I’m not sure what expectations I had other than to follow that piece of wood I used as my divining rod. The thing is you can’t know until you try and even then things change at every fork in the road.

So you admit to following your penis rather than your head or am I reading this wrong !?

In the beginning, in the beginning.

[jubby]

Finally the truth. So lets have the Book. Cabin Crew Girls, Expats Wives and managing to invest in the stock market and survive the financial crisis unlike a lot of us. Could make you a nice little nest Egg seeing as you have no pension

[villagefarang]

Not really retired then by the sounds of it and a whole new onion is about to relieve itself to you soon I think. Perhaps time to write a decent book?

I haven’t worked since I was 40 so I have been retired for quite some time. I think I will stick to writing my blog, though I am working on an eBook version of the blog.

I guess you could call me one of those posters that has asked questions about moving to Thailand years in advance of it potentially happening. I think part of it is how comfortable one is with risk, and that is a very individual thing - for some, they may be quite happy throwing caution to the wind and just making the move lock stock and barrel without much in the way of planning.

I think many would be envious of how you made the move in your early twenties and made a success of it (with a glamorous home and wife to boot - have read some of your blog) , rather than following the well trodden path of marrying someone in their home country, children, the divorce some years later and then trying to recover financially - which in many cases may take them well into their 50s or 60s if at all.

If I can ask, what line of work were you in up until retiring in Thailand (aside from investing in stocks) - that must have also helped being able to retire at 40. Also how did you find the visa issues prior to getting married - did you have to go back to the US many times? And finally, how did you know very early on that a life in Thailand was what you wanted, and how did your parents react when you informed them, assuming they weren't the ones recommending it?

I suppose my most lucrative stint was a couple of years in the Middle East on a two and one.

The visa situation has changed so much over the years the mind boggles. Always managed to find a way, though. I have always tried to visit my parents once a year but have sometimes left it longer when it wasn’t convenient.

After four trips to Thailand the first year, and an unsuccessful attempt to get Thailand out of my system by staying longer, I finally just packed a bag and said I’m going to see where this path leads.

My parents were clever and said neither yea nor nay to the move. They made sure I took full responsibility and couldn’t unload part of the blame if things went belly up. They did make it clear, however, that I always had a home, to come home to. That kind of unqualified support helped to bolster my confidence, no doubt, and gave me the freedom to maneuver.

Anything I left unanswered?

[villagefarang]

Finally the truth. So lets have the Book. Cabin Crew Girls, Expats Wives and managing to invest in the stock market and survive the financial crisis unlike a lot of us. Could make you a nice little nest Egg seeing as you have no pension

Lets not be crass, shall we?

[expatdreamer]

Not really retired then by the sounds of it and a whole new onion is about to relieve itself to you soon I think. Perhaps time to write a decent book?

I haven’t worked since I was 40 so I have been retired for quite some time. I think I will stick to writing my blog, though I am working on an eBook version of the blog.

I guess you could call me one of those posters that has asked questions about moving to Thailand years in advance of it potentially happening. I think part of it is how comfortable one is with risk, and that is a very individual thing - for some, they may be quite happy throwing caution to the wind and just making the move lock stock and barrel without much in the way of planning.

I think many would be envious of how you made the move in your early twenties and made a success of it (with a glamorous home and wife to boot - have read some of your blog) , rather than following the well trodden path of marrying someone in their home country, children, the divorce some years later and then trying to recover financially - which in many cases may take them well into their 50s or 60s if at all.

If I can ask, what line of work were you in up until retiring in Thailand (aside from investing in stocks) - that must have also helped being able to retire at 40. Also how did you find the visa issues prior to getting married - did you have to go back to the US many times? And finally, how did you know very early on that a life in Thailand was what you wanted, and how did your parents react when you informed them, assuming they weren't the ones recommending it?

I suppose my most lucrative stint was a couple of years in the Middle East on a two and one.

The visa situation has changed so much over the years the mind boggles. Always managed to find a way, though. I have always tried to visit my parents once a year but have sometimes left it longer when it wasn’t convenient.

After four trips to Thailand the first year, and an unsuccessful attempt to get Thailand out of my system by staying longer, I finally just packed a bag and said I’m going to see where this path leads.

My parents were clever and said neither yea nor nay to the move. They made sure I took full responsibility and couldn’t unload part of the blame if things went belly up. They did make it clear, however, that I always had a home, to come home to. That kind of unqualified support helped to bolster my confidence, no doubt, and gave me the freedom to maneuver.

Anything I left unanswered?

Thanks. No, that covers everything. If you ever get bored, I think your early years in Thailand would make for interesting reading and be a good supplement to your current blog.

Cheers

[Geekfreaklover]

Very wise words IMO, and if your desire to move here is fueled by dreams planted by a Thai wife then I can pretty much guarantee reality won't seem nearly as rosy.

You are the man, do as you think is best for the family unit. Obviously do your best to keep/make her happy as well, but that should not include moving to anywhere less than six hours' travel to her family seat or you will lose your rightful place as head of the house.

And it's quite possible you'll lose a lot more than that. She agreed to go along with you in your life, be careful you don't turn the steering wheel over unless you're willing to become a passenger.

I agree about the six hours distance from the family if it is an Isaan bargirl hoax marriage, but if it is a genuine partnership then the parents being nearby can be a great advantage especially if there are kids and child-care opportunities. My partner's mother has never asked for a bean in six years, has loaned me money in times of need, and helps out with the kids every week when she is not working.

I'm surrounded by her rellys, but once they learnt I didn't have any money to hand out they all disappeared back into the woodwork. Apart from her younger sister (BG in Pattaya) who everyone seems to think I should marry as a second wife, no family problems.

So they are only interested in having a relationship with you if there is cash involved?

It's a sad situation. I spent a few years in a village and built the house etc etc. Lost a fortune. Walked away from it and won custody of my kids and relocated to Bangkok where I was very lucky to find a woman born and raised in Bangkok who is not chinese nor hi-so but hasn't been tarnished by all the Thai imperalist crap that they get brain washed with behind the mountain.

For anyone thinking of living in Thailand consider the cities, don't get trapped in the village nightmare.

[TommoPhysicist]

So they are only interested in having a relationship with you if there is cash involved?

That's most 'in laws' the world over.

Why would you want to know someone, just because you happen to be having sex with their relative?

[hhgz]

Moving to Thailand was a piece of cake.

[Naam]

If you don’t speak Thai and really understand how things work here, you are likely to lose your place as pack leader in your family, and find yourself at the mercy of your wife and her family.

why the eff is it always assumed that people who move or live in Thailand have or will have a Thai partner and/or insisting that it is mandatory to learn the local lingo which enables a foreigner "how things work here"?

addendum: my wife and me have visited Thailand in a quarter century so often that i lost track. since nearly eight years we are living here permanently. being fluent in Thai would not have taught me "how things work here", meaning i had to learn by experience that it's Farangs (speaking one the languages one masters) that are most keen to cheat a "fellow" Farang!

Edited June 24, 2012 by Naam

[Naam]

I'm surrounded by her rellys, but once they learnt I didn't have any money to hand out they all disappeared back into the woodwork. Apart from her younger sister (BG in Pattaya) who everyone seems to think I should marry as a second wife, no family problems.

some people have all the luck

p.s. what does she look like?

[NanLaew]

If you don’t speak Thai and really understand how things work here, you are likely to lose your place as pack leader in your family, and find yourself at the mercy of your wife and her family.

why the eff is it always assumed that people who move or live in Thailand have or will have a Thai partner and/or insisting that it is mandatory to learn the local lingo which enables a foreigner "how things work here"?

addendum: my wife and me have visited Thailand in a quarter century so often that i lost track. since nearly eight years we are living here permanently. being fluent in Thai would not have taught me "how things work here", meaning i had to learn by experience that it's Farangs (speaking one the languages one masters) that are most keen to cheat a "fellow" Farang!

I am sure the OP was just speaking from his reality of coming here as a single man and acquiring a local partner which I am fairly sure is the most common scenario. Maybe a poll would be handy where one could ask if the prospective camper is working, retired, single, divorced, widowed, with farang partner from home, with farang partner from overseas, with Thai partner acquired overseas, with Thai partner acquired online, with Thai partner acquired in NEP, with Thai partner acquired at Thammasat U, with family, happily single forever, misogynistically single forever, or 'on the market'.

I agree with the OP's assertion that only the very basic 'how to' information is available via the internet for the prospective Thai 'resident tourist' and that as soon as one makes the first decision (taxi or train?), then it is game-on and nothing can really follow a fixed, pre-determined course. I would consider that the true adventurer really does need to have some fixed objectives or some fairly robust plan as a marker, then they can happily wander off down the side soi's and khlongs on their own 'big adventure' but still have something practical, tangible or realistic to pull them back on course when things get too dodgy.... or unbelievably good!

[StreetCowboy]

Perhaps we should issue a "how-to" book, with illustrations, for newcomers.

We could include email addresses to turn to for help, and then we could publish the pleas on this site for our entertainment.

The challenge would be to make the book credible, and include enough links to reality, that the victim continued to rely on it, and to post for help, long beyond what anyone else might consider rational

"Dear helpful-fellow-emigrant; I read on an internet forum a case just like mine, where, after lending the wife a million baht, as you suggested, she disappeared without trace. I am not so sure that was good advice, and people seemed to be laughing at him. The amazing coincidence is that he had the same first name as me! and surname. What are the chances of that, eh? What should I do now?"

SC

[guzzi850m2]

Very wise words IMO, and if your desire to move here is fueled by dreams planted by a Thai wife then I can pretty much guarantee reality won't seem nearly as rosy.

You are the man, do as you think is best for the family unit. Obviously do your best to keep/make her happy as well, but that should not include moving to anywhere less than six hours' travel to her family seat or you will lose your rightful place as head of the house.

And it's quite possible you'll lose a lot more than that. She agreed to go along with you in your life, be careful you don't turn the steering wheel over unless you're willing to become a passenger.

I agree about the six hours distance from the family if it is an Isaan bargirl hoax marriage, but if it is a genuine partnership then the parents being nearby can be a great advantage especially if there are kids and child-care opportunities. My partner's mother has never asked for a bean in six years, has loaned me money in times of need, and helps out with the kids every week when she is not working.

I'm surrounded by her rellys, but once they learnt I didn't have any money to hand out they all disappeared back into the woodwork. Apart from her younger sister (BG in Pattaya) who everyone seems to think I should marry as a second wife, no family problems.

So they are only interested in having a relationship with you if there is cash involved?

It's a sad situation. I spent a few years in a village and built the house etc etc. Lost a fortune. Walked away from it and won custody of my kids and relocated to Bangkok where I was very lucky to find a woman born and raised in Bangkok who is not chinese nor hi-so but hasn't been tarnished by all the Thai imperalist crap that they get brain washed with behind the mountain.

For anyone thinking of living in Thailand consider the cities, don't get trapped in the village nightmare.

I could not live out in the sticks either, when we drive up to my wife's house some 60 km from SiSaket I can max stay for 3 nights and I am bored out of my skull and I tell my wife okay my dear lets go back to Pattaya where there is many other things to do than chasing bar girls.

For me moving to Thailand happened in small steps, working off-shore 60 days on/off, went to Thailand on each holiday and stayed longer and longer on each visit and in the end said to myself; why keep that apartment in Denmark anymore so I sold it and moved my address out here. The Danish tax department was also wondering where I earned my money (working for a Singapore based company) and wasn't amused when I told them I was doing quality control in a go-go bar in Bangkok, but they gave up on me when I moved my address, lol.

[villagefarang]

If you don’t speak Thai and really understand how things work here, you are likely to lose your place as pack leader in your family, and find yourself at the mercy of your wife and her family.

why the eff is it always assumed that people who move or live in Thailand have or will have a Thai partner and/or insisting that it is mandatory to learn the local lingo which enables a foreigner "how things work here"?

addendum: my wife and me have visited Thailand in a quarter century so often that i lost track. since nearly eight years we are living here permanently. being fluent in Thai would not have taught me "how things work here", meaning i had to learn by experience that it's Farangs (speaking one the languages one masters) that are most keen to cheat a "fellow" Farang!

No need to get ones panties in a twist. It simply isn’t practical to add a disclaimer taking into account all the possible variation that exist.

You might take notice that I intentionally used the word “and” to link speak Thai and understand how things work here. While I am of the camp who believe being able to understand someone’s tone, vocabulary and the manner in which they address other people, to be helpful in understanding their intent and perhaps even integrity, it clearly isn’t enough in my opinion. That is where the how things work part comes into play. Thais don’t always play from the same rule book as we do. Even when they use the same words as us, they don’t always carry the same meaning.

If one has enough money, and is willing to take some losses along the way, it is possible to bulldoze your way through life and impose your will upon others. My preference is to learn as much as I can about the other team and take advantage of their weaknesses while protecting my own vulnerabilities. Makes for a better game in my opinion.

I understand that language learning, or not learning, is a choice vigorously defended by some but I feel it is at the core of many of the problems foreigners encounter here in Thailand. Not speaking Thai limits you to a very narrow segment of the population. While some Thais learned their English, or other foreign language, through advanced study abroad, others picked it up with the sole purpose of using foreigners as a meal ticket.

It is a choice but I see it as a major game changer when you are competing on someone else’s turf.

Edited June 24, 2012 by villagefarang

[pigeonjake]

everyone is differant, that the thing with this world, and thats what makes it good,

i couldnt live in pattaya, ive been there once and hated it,

i love being in our village, yes i do get away as i still go to work, ive worked offshore, in brazil, in agola all in the oil industry, im in scotland at the moment working on a power station getting 20bht a bay now that is enough to keep us very well for a month, yes ive got true vision a house and all the wester things i need, but to be honest i love the thai food,

so even though i come to work for our future, i do miss my wife our farm and i might add our family,as my mother in law helps my wife with our pig farm while im away and we pay her 10% of what we take in a month, she is very happy and she i might add didnt want to take the money it was me who insisted, they are a good family never ask for anything, yes i do give them things, but thats it i give them they dont ask,

it could be that im from farming stock in england so ive took to the village life, but likei say i couldnt for the life of me live in pattaya, yes i understand that there will be some nice parts but the parts i saw were not for me,

good luck to everyone in whatever you choose to do/live just dont go for it halfhearted,

all or nothing,, jake

[Naam]

I am sure the OP was just speaking from his reality of coming here as a single man and acquiring a local partner which I am fairly sure is the most common scenario.

i consider "VillageFarang" to be a nice and intelligent chap NanLaew. since a long time i read with interest what he was and is writing in his blog "off" Thaivisa. but i don't accept unconditionally "specific realities" and "common scenarios" and especially not the claim one needs to know the language to know "how things work here".

during the 7½ years living 85% of the year in Thailand i have acquired some polite phrases and bare technical language necessities during the construction of our home which i designed and supervised. my wife can't count till five (not sure whether she manage even one, two, three) and the other 99.9% of her Thai knowledge is represented by "sawasdee khra".

but i can assure you that we both know exactly "how things work here" because we are making them work each and every day to our satisfaction. unfortunately we can't make the sh*tty Thai climate "work to our satisfaction" except in our home. but not even Thais, being fluent in Thai, can't do something about it

[Naam]

My preference is to learn as much as I can about the other team and take advantage of their weaknesses while protecting my own vulnerabilities. Makes for a better game in my opinion.

It is a choice but I see it as a major game changer when you are competing on someone else’s turf.

other team? taking advantage of their weaknesses? game?

can you give me one valid reason why i would want to compete and play games with the locals? we have selected Thailand for very few but specific and important reasons. the two reasons with the highest priority are living a rather comfortable, if not luxurious, life style; all expenses paid for by the income tax we don't pay.

the reason why we selected to have our home in the outskirts of Pattaya was that things are within short reach which are not easily available in the boonies. many rainy seasons ago we lived in the African bush where my wife drove 280km (one way) to buy some cheese, sausage and western spices. actually i would have preferred the country side but was not willing to accept, what we consider, its shortcomings. amongst others being "light years" away from the next international airport.

[villagefarang]

My preference is to learn as much as I can about the other team and take advantage of their weaknesses while protecting my own vulnerabilities. Makes for a better game in my opinion.

It is a choice but I see it as a major game changer when you are competing on someone else’s turf.

other team? taking advantage of their weaknesses? game?

can you give me one valid reason why i would want to compete and play games with the locals? we have selected Thailand for very few but specific and important reasons. the two reasons with the highest priority are living a rather comfortable, if not luxurious, life style; all expenses paid for by the income tax we don't pay.

the reason why we selected to have our home in the outskirts of Pattaya was that things are within short reach which are not easily available in the boonies. many rainy seasons ago we lived in the African bush where my wife drove 280km (one way) to buy some cheese, sausage and western spices. actually i would have preferred the country side but was not willing to accept, what we consider, its shortcomings. amongst others being "light years" away from the next international airport.

You are of course correct and I cannot give you reasons, valid or not, as to how you should live your life. You obviously have a level of experience and competence far beyond what I have witnessed as the norm, especially among newbies. Mine are but general musing brought on by a recent onslaught of “help me” topics all following a common formula. Pretty clearly, little of what I wrote would have any relevance to your situation.

I simple intend here to share my experience and perceptions and others are free to do with them as they wish. It is not my way or the highway.

Edited June 24, 2012 by villagefarang

[GreenSnapper]

It's not hard at all to move permanently to Thailand.

The only thing you need is proper funding. And that is the hardest part for many.

I can already hear the "But I live on 20K Baht/month like a king" crowd. And if you listen to them, you are already in a mess.

My rule of thumb is:

1. Have at least a pension, rental income or other regular income from assets of 100.000 Baht/month.

2. Alternatively, have 1 Million US$ safely invested. No, everything in stocks or gold is not "safely".

3. Have proper health insurance. No, "self-insured" only means "I buy paracetamol at my 7/11" is not proper.

And have a plan B or C, in case fighting breaks out again or someone of highest importance dies. Be prepared to travel tomorrow to your home country and be able to finance that and live there. Keep all major funds out of reach from girlfriends or wives, thus keep it offshore.

[pigeonjake]

i live very well on 20k a month, and i see your one of them ,, keep it all away from the thai girlfreind/ wife, why you here?

[villagefarang]

It's not hard at all to move permanently to Thailand.

The only thing you need is proper funding. And that is the hardest part for many.

I can already hear the "But I live on 20K Baht/month like a king" crowd. And if you listen to them, you are already in a mess.

My rule of thumb is:

1. Have at least a pension, rental income or other regular income from assets of 100.000 Baht/month.

2. Alternatively, have 1 Million US$ safely invested. No, everything in stocks or gold is not "safely".

3. Have proper health insurance. No, "self-insured" only means "I buy paracetamol at my 7/11" is not proper.

And have a plan B or C, in case fighting breaks out again or someone of highest importance dies. Be prepared to travel tomorrow to your home country and be able to finance that and live there. Keep all major funds out of reach from girlfriends or wives, thus keep it offshore.

You make some good points and yours is definitely one way of going about things. While I am sure there are those who could benefit from your rules of thumb it is clear than many, Naam and myself included, have been successful doing things a little differently.

[saorsa]

everyone is differant, that the thing with this world, and thats what makes it good,

i couldnt live in pattaya, ive been there once and hated it,

i love being in our village, yes i do get away as i still go to work, ive worked offshore, in brazil, in agola all in the oil industry, im in scotland at the moment working on a power station getting 20bht a bay now that is enough to keep us very well for a month, yes ive got true vision a house and all the wester things i need, but to be honest i love the thai food,

so even though i come to work for our future, i do miss my wife our farm and i might add our family,as my mother in law helps my wife with our pig farm while im away and we pay her 10% of what we take in a month, she is very happy and she i might add didnt want to take the money it was me who insisted, they are a good family never ask for anything, yes i do give them things, but thats it i give them they dont ask,

it could be that im from farming stock in england so ive took to the village life, but likei say i couldnt for the life of me live in pattaya, yes i understand that there will be some nice parts but the parts i saw were not for me,

good luck to everyone in whatever you choose to do/live just dont go for it halfhearted,

all or nothing,, jake

20bht a day?!?! Yikes, I hadn't realised the UK offshore industry was in such a bad state! Glad I'm in Kazakhstan!

[GreenSnapper]

You make some good points and yours is definitely one way of going about things. While I am sure there are those who could benefit from your rules of thumb it is clear than many, Naam and myself included, have been successful doing things a little differently.

I should have added that my rules assume that you do not work here. If you are on an expat package or have a properly paid job in Thailand, these rules may no apply to you.

"Keep your funds offshore" is not only protection from wives/Gfs, but also from the uncertainties of Thai politics and laws. If you have to move abroad quickly, it is not wise to have your funds at a Thai bank, most of it inaccessible.

[TommoPhysicist]

It's not hard at all to move permanently to Thailand.

The only thing you need is proper funding. And that is the hardest part for many.

I can already hear the "But I live on 20K Baht/month like a king" crowd. And if you listen to them, you are already in a mess.

Yes, if you are paying a woman, who owns nothing, a wage to be with you, you will need a lot more.

Some of us choose more wisely, and can consequently live on a lot less.

[guzzi850m2]

You make some good points and yours is definitely one way of going about things. While I am sure there are those who could benefit from your rules of thumb it is clear than many, Naam and myself included, have been successful doing things a little differently.

I should have added that my rules assume that you do not work here. If you are on an expat package or have a properly paid job in Thailand, these rules may no apply to you.

"Keep your funds offshore" is not only protection from wives/Gfs, but also from the uncertainties of Thai politics and laws. If you have to move abroad quickly, it is not wise to have your funds at a Thai bank, most of it inaccessible.

I think quite many expats in Thailand are in the oil off-shore industrie so we work all over the world 6 month a year and have relatively well paid jobs.

Yes agree with keeping the bulk your funds out of Thailand if the shit hits the fan (politics - marriage gone bad or whatever reason) and not easy to move them out if you want.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I agree about the six hours distance from the family if it is an Isaan bargirl hoax marriage, but if it is a genuine partnership then the parents being nearby can be a great advantage especially if there are kids and child-care opportunities. My partner's mother has never asked for a bean in six years, has loaned me money in times of need, and helps out with the kids every week when she is not working.

I did not say anything about scams or desire for money, I was specifically talking about losing control in the relationship.

My children's upcountry relatives are wonderful people and very helpful and like yours have never asked for anything from me, and in fact in my more recent financial troubles have themselves greatly contributed to our continued survival as a household, very much against the wishes of my ex.

However if you move to within cooee of the inlaws, then IMO you are likely to become a satellite/appendage to the larger family unit, rather than king of the castle of your own nuclear one, and your wife will be likely to assert her desires that much more strenuously if she has the support of all her relatives, while there's only one of you.

I'm not saying this will always be the case, nor that you couldn't successfully continue to be the alpha male, just that natural tendencies will cause this to require more effort and therefore I advise against it.

For those men who don't mind "tagging along for the ride" and don't insist on wearing the pants of course this wouldn't apply.

My preference is to learn as much as I can about the other team and take advantage of their weaknesses while protecting my own vulnerabilities. Makes for a better game in my opinion. It is a choice but I see it as a major game changer when you are competing on someone else’s turf.

other team? taking advantage of their weaknesses? game? can you give me one valid reason why i would want to compete and play games with the locals?

I don't think vf is talking about direct competition or game-playing per se, but just the normal negotiations that are required living as a member of the community.

I think it likely that you don't need to interact as directly as your luxurious standard of living insulates you, in effect you're paying English-speaking middlemen to remove the burden of dealing with service providers directly in most cases.

Most of us either can't afford to do this, or perhaps even prefer to spend less money so we have more so spend on things that benefit us more directly - that is what speaking Thai buys you. In your case it's true, completely unnecessary when you think B120,000 per month to be a low-end budget in the LOS.