Anderson Cooper Finally, Officially Comes Out

[Jingthing]

Yes I respect Cooper's decision to not come out earlier. It makes great sense especially now that he has explained himself. I do think in cases where gay people are our oppressors, such as some right wing politicians who shield their gay side by promoting anti-gay public policies, those people should be FORCED out. Cooper is such a good guy nobody felt the need to push him. I like Harvey Milk of course but in reality people need to pick the right time for themselves to come out. Like a gay youth in a home where the parents will likely throw them out, they are better off waiting until they are more independent. Personally, I lost some close friends when I came out, but bottom line, if your friends can't still like you as you really are, you don't need them as friends. But it cuts both ways, if you don't come out to people close to you you are LYING to people by acting like you are something you aren't, and people can be legitimately angry with you to find out you've been lying to them for years. Family, that's harder. And public coming out for public figures, even more complicated.

Edited July 4, 2012 by Jingthing

[keemapoot]

I applaud Cooper's decision to finally do this, but I pose another query related to the relative advantages he started with. Celebritynetworth lists his net worth as $100 million, and he is the son of heiress, Gloria Vanderbilt (net worth $200m), and the great-great-great-grandson to Cornelius Vanderbilt of the Vanderbilt shipping and railroad fortune. From everything I've read, Cooper really did make it to the top on his own, but...

I wonder if he had not been from such a background would he have come out at all. Certainly other media figures who might be gay (such as Fox News Shepard Smith), who may not have a fallback position of wealth may never come out for fear they would lose their careers. I suppose in the case of Smith this would be especially true, given that he works for a news network that is anything but gay-friendly.

I think there is a big difference between celebrities coming out, and media figures. Media figures are probably not allowed to do this because of the issues of perceived public empathy & trust. Inasmuch as Cooper is secure in his career, etc., he probably felt no threat in coming out. I doubt it would be the same with others in his profession yet...

[JemJem]

Its pc brigade coming out lol lol

I don't get either of your points. There is still severe racism in the USA. There is still severe homophobia as well. Both are facts of life.

About the charge of hostility from phl, I reckon it's a similar reaction as you might expect from a black person to a non-black person who says some of my best friends are black (ALWAYS a red flag), black is ONLY about skin color and nothing else, etc. I won't even get into the twisted comment about grown up man running around and screaming like a girl ...

In other words, what did you expect?

Jingthing is right. Just go to Yahoo news message boards, especially to the news stories involving a black or gay person. You will come across nasty/racist/anti-gay posts; many of them.

[phl]

"Coming out" and when or more importantly if to do so isn't just something based on personal choice but on cultural necessity and obligation. I respect Anderson Cooper for explaining why he has come out and why he didn't do so before, but at the same time I take my hat off to him for not coming out before - why should he feel obliged to announce publicly who he sleeps with, however much of a public figure he may be?

I have never "come out" as I have never "been in" - I told anyone who asked me what my sexual preference was, but fortunately I was never asked until I came to Thailand (rather bizarrely!) so I was always judged by who I was rather than who I slept with. I say "fortunately" not because I was "ashamed" of my sexuality but because a few decades ago it would have made a considerable difference to me (it was illegal in my chosen profession). Now, however, things have changed and it makes less and less difference - at least in some countries and cultures.

To many of us in the West "coming out" isn't just unnecessary nowadays, it is counter-productive as you're deliberately setting yourself apart, asking to be treated and looked on differently. Many gays don't want to be treated or looked on as part of "a minority group category"; I can't think of anything worse than allowing my sexual preference to dominate my "ENTIRE life" - and I do mean allowing, as that IS a personal choice.

I realise (believe it or not!) that things are different in the US to most of the Western world. I grew up going to church on Sunday, usually to a Latin mass, and usually eating fish on Friday, I spent my working life in a profession where being gay didn't just mean dismissal but court-martial, but although the UK has its religious zealots and its school bullies and racists there is simply no comparison to those in the US, both in extremism and in popularity and acceptance. OK - POINT MADE. That doesn't mean that unless you've grown up gay in the US "You don't understand what its like to be a young gay person in a homophobic environment because you've never experienced it and you lack the imagination to try to understand what it might be like" or that one person's idea of what "being gay" means is what it means to most (or even many) gays. Nobody has a monopoly on what it was like growing up gay!

What's important about Anderson Cooper "coming out" is that he wasn't "flaunting it"; he didn't do it because he thought "VISIBILITY is extremely important" - he did it having "never hidden “this part of my life” from friends, family members, or colleagues", because he didn't want to give "the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something—something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed or even afraid." Nothing more.

Without any doubt at all, JT is correct in one thing: "... the positive effect of his example will accomplish more than most actual activists." FAR, FAR MORE. Just as people first laughed at the women's libbers burning their bras then simply got bored of their incessant whining and women were taken seriously and treated increasingly as equals in business and politics when they showed their ability by example, so a lot of people are bored by the antics of the gay "activists" and their constant whining and whingeing, their wanting to have equal rights and gay rights, to have "minority group status", to be different, etc, etc, etc - and that includes gay people who are bored with it. Acceptance will come (even in the US, although it looks like taking a bit longer there) with participation and integration, not legislation.

Once the "activists" realise that and stop embarrassing the remainder of the gay population then maybe others who are already "out" to friends, family and colleagues will choose to "come out" publicly, with dignity, as Anderson Cooper has done.

[Jingthing]

...

Acceptance will come (even in the US, although it looks like taking a bit longer there) with participation and integration, not legislation.

...

Acceptance of gays in America has ALREADY come. Recently polling is showing over 50 percent of all Americans support same sex marriage equality with the support from younger people even greater. I totally reject the ungrateful insinuation and historically ignorant suggestion that gay Americans don't owe a HUGE DEBT to our gay ACTIVIST pioneers like Harvey Milk and Franklin Kameny. If you don't know who Kameny was, google him. He is the father of the gay rights movement in America. I think some enemies of gay equality confuse actual activists with drag queens and nudes dancing in gay parades. That confusion is expected from homophobes but rather nauseating to hear from fellow gay people. No, Virginia, they are NOT the same thing! The problem now in America completely contrary to what LeChar suggests IS legislation and supreme court rulings. It needs to get to where the majority of the people are. That doesn't happen by magic. We've got the people's good will, the MAJORITY, already. There will ALWAYS be a significant percentage of the American people who are haters in a terminally right wing country like America, but we've got the majority now. Now the big challenge IS to change the legislation. Oh yes, we still NEED activists for that. 100 Anderson Coopers unless they get into lobbying and politics won't be changing legislation. Like famous ex-congressman Barney Frank who is now getting into gay activism and the big gay Washington lobby, Human Rights Campaign. LeChav is welcome to his opinions but his knowledge of American dynamics and history of our gay rights struggle is clearly sorely lacking. Interestingly, pretty much all of the historic American gay activist/politicians have been gay Jews. Probably another topic as to why and no it is NOT a coincidence at all, but as a gay Jew who has actual personal experience with some of these history makers, I do take attacks on their historical role personally.

The other poster is right, Cooper was born into an elite situation that gave him great advantages! However its not like he coasted. He worked like mad and earned his high regard. Also even with his advantages it STILL would have no doubt damaged his chances of getting to where he got if he had officially come out much earlier. BTW, the "open closet" phase didn't start either until he was well over the hump of achieving great success.

Edited July 5, 2012 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

OK, I think there is a wide consensus that Anderson Cooper's coming out is "good for the gays" that even enemies of gay rights would probably agree with. However, Cooper at this point has very little to lose personally. He has it all now.

Here is an interesting contrast to Cooper from the black hip hop pop music scene. A notoriously homophobic scene.

This guy who personally I have just heard of for the first time, is in his early career, and he pretty much has it ALL to lose. While he didn't come out per se as gay to explicitly talk about your first love being a same sex one he may have well have done so as far as his public is concerned.

If his career ends up not progressing of course, nobody can really know whether it was the coming out that did him in, or not. But no doubt he has taken a very big risk.

http://slatest.slate...umblr_post.html

Edited July 5, 2012 by Jingthing

[VocalNeal]

You don't understand what its like to be a young gay person in a homophobic environment because you've never experienced it and you lack the imagination to try to understand what it might be like.

This is the only ping-pong bit that interests me. How does the world or people around you know you are gay. Do you wear Gay pride T shirts? Walk in a funny way? What? How would they ever know?

If you dress up in the opposite sex's clothes that might be a give away otherwise I doubt anyone would ever suspect anything so would not treat you any differently as an individual.

It's like asking how would anyone know a person was a Hasidic Jew unless they dressed in a certain way.

I usually take people at face value. What I see is what I get. I don't know you as i have never met you, I suspect that if you are being treated differently ( and I don't mean legally) it is because you want to be.

[Jingthing]

They know because you're not chasing girls like most of the boys in high school. Among numerous other clues that bullies are amazingly expert at pickup up. DUH!

Also you are not considering the emotional anguish and hard work involved in projecting yourself to the world as something you're not, assuming you're in the closet. Again, I don't think people who haven't experienced this can ever understand what this actually means. Its like a white person saying they understand what it's like to be black. They don't. They can't.

Not sure what country you come from, but generally in America boys are bullied as gay for almost nothing. Many times the boys being bullied are not gay. So imagine how the ones who actually are gay feel. Terrorized. Often depressed and sadly too often suicidal.

Edited July 5, 2012 by Jingthing

[tombkk]

You don't understand what its like to be a young gay person in a homophobic environment because you've never experienced it and you lack the imagination to try to understand what it might be like.

This is the only ping-pong bit that interests me. How does the world or people around you know you are gay. Do you wear Gay pride T shirts? Walk in a funny way? What? How would they ever know?

If you dress up in the opposite sex's clothes that might be a give away otherwise I doubt anyone would ever suspect anything so would not treat you any differently as an individual.

It's like asking how would anyone know a person was a Hasidic Jew unless they dressed in a certain way.

I usually take people at face value. What I see is what I get. I don't know you as i have never met you, I suspect that if you are being treated differently ( and I don't mean legally) it is because you want to be.

If you dress up in the opposite sex's clothes, you are not gay but a transvestite.

People around me know that I am gay because they meet my boyfriend. Invitation says "with spouse", and I think this is what they mean. I never make a big deal about it, we just show up as a couple.

Somebody said in this thread that it is always easier to meet people first and deal with them on a social or business basis before they "find out" that you are gay. I agree with that from my experience.

[LeCharivari]

...

Acceptance will come (even in the US, although it looks like taking a bit longer there) with participation and integration, not legislation.

...

Acceptance of gays in America has ALREADY come.

"Maybe someday someone like him can not hide their identity early in their career and still have the same success potential. Not yet.

I think that will never happen. I mean NEVER. (response to: I'll start believing that we live in a fair and balanced society the day that such announcements no longer need to be made.)

I also think a case like his helps gay youth growing up in homophobic environments and who knows maybe some of this generation's Romney-like anti-gay bullies may think twice before attacking.

But can a leading man aspiring actor in Hollywood come out and not commit career suicide. No!

When gay youth in American high schools can be themselves and not worry about being pinned down and violently assaulted by future presidential hopefuls ... ... Sorry, gay people ARE in a minority group category. Like it or not.

American gay people should live their lives under the DELUSION that they live in a society where they have equal rights and that they are treated exactly the same as if they were heterosexual, even when that is not true.

So when gay kids are beat up in school for being gay, they should tell people that straight people are also beat up for being gay, everyone's the same.... They "choose" to be bullied in high school. That's the ticket!

There is still severe racism in the USA. There is still severe homophobia as well. Both are facts of life.

Like a gay youth in a home where the parents will likely throw them out,

Personally, I lost some close friends when I came out,

generally in America boys are bullied as gay for almost nothing. Many times the boys being bullied are not gay. So imagine how the ones who actually are gay feel. Terrorized. Often depressed and sadly too often suicidal."

.....and that's just from your own posts in this brief thread. We clearly have very different ideas about what "acceptance" means.

Edited July 5, 2012 by LeCharivari

[LeCharivari]

.... Somebody said in this thread that it is always easier to meet people first and deal with them on a social or business basis before they "find out" that you are gay. I agree with that from my experience.

My experience also, but I don't think that applies only to people who " "find out" that you are gay" but to people generally. No matter how much we may like to think that we don't, the honest reality is that we all have pre-conceptions about what someone will be like based on so many different things that should be inconsequential but seldom are, from skin colour to sexual preference, school to social status, education to employment, religion to nationality. Often our actual knowledge and experience of these things may be limited, but very few people meet anyone else whose background they know a little about with a genuinely open mind. In my case I find that most people I meet have more pre-conceptions about other aspects of my persona than my sexual preference, so my being gay is often one of the first things casual acquaintances find out, and other things that may surprise them more are left until later (if ever!).

[LeCharivari]

I totally reject the ungrateful insinuation and historically ignorant suggestion that gay Americans don't owe a HUGE DEBT to our gay ACTIVIST pioneers like Harvey Milk and Franklin Kameny.

You can reject what you like, as I have never made such an insinuation or suggestion - Kameny had nothing in common with the GLF and its supporters. The 70's was four decades ago and times have changed (for most of us).

Interestingly, pretty much all of the historic American gay activist/politicians have been gay Jews. Probably another topic as to why and no it is NOT a coincidence at all, but as a gay Jew who has actual personal experience with some of these history makers, I do take attacks on their historical role personally.

Uninterestingly I was a gay Jesuit and am now a gay Buddhist. So what? Who cares?

Your "actual personal experience" appears not to be as extensive as you would like it to be, nor is your "knowledge of American dynamics and history of our gay rights struggle". Kameny renounced the Jewish faith around 1940, in his mid-teens, and was very much an atheist. That leaves Harvey Milk and Barney Frank ... did I mention Harvey Milk? Oh, I nearly forgot The Nanny (Fran Drescher). As you say, though, another topic ... but please do your homework first.

[Jingthing]

I totally reject the ungrateful insinuation and historically ignorant suggestion that gay Americans don't owe a HUGE DEBT to our gay ACTIVIST pioneers like Harvey Milk and Franklin Kameny.

You can reject what you like, as I have never made such an insinuation or suggestion - Kameny had nothing in common with the GLF and its supporters. The 70's was four decades ago and times have changed (for most of us).

Interestingly, pretty much all of the historic American gay activist/politicians have been gay Jews. Probably another topic as to why and no it is NOT a coincidence at all, but as a gay Jew who has actual personal experience with some of these history makers, I do take attacks on their historical role personally.

Uninterestingly I was a gay Jesuit and am now a gay Buddhist. So what? Who cares?

Your "actual personal experience" appears not to be as extensive as you would like it to be, nor is your "knowledge of American dynamics and history of our gay rights struggle". Kameny renounced the Jewish faith around 1940, in his mid-teens, and was very much an atheist. That leaves Harvey Milk and Barney Frank ... did I mention Harvey Milk? Oh, I nearly forgot The Nanny (Fran Drescher). As you say, though, another topic ... but please do your homework first.

Who cares? Well considering you're not a famous gay activist and actually seek to disrespect gay activists and accuse them of doing harm, I think nobody cares.

BTW, also from the literary end of political activism: Larry Kramer and Tony Kushner.

Being a Jew doesn't have to have anything to do with following the religion of Judaism. Jews can be atheists and Buddhists quite easily. You do your homework. Kameny was very proud of being a Jew.

A lot of gay people are no longer interested in sex with anyone as well. Many of them still identify as gay. Oh my, I guess that bothers some people.

It's not a matter of moving on or not moving on. That's a diversion. It's a matter on whether you are going to disrespect the gay civil rights pioneers who were very important in bringing America to the point where we have a president who has voiced support for gay equality, or not. I think you diss them, again and again, and that is just wrong. Morally wrong and historically wrong.

Though some of these individuals have probably never heard of Frank Kameny, they all, we all, owe him an impossible debt. For not that long ago, the situation for gay people in America was not altogether different from what it is like today in some of the world’s most repressive societies. And the amazing progress that has transpired over the past half century—the right of gays to serve openly in the military, to marry or have civil partnerships, not to mention the enormous cultural shift in attitudes about homosexuality—is largely attributable to the honesty of one man, who, like Rosa Parks before him, simply refused to put up with the injustice that he was so prescient and unique in recognizing. “I have chosen not to adjust myself to society but, with considerable success, have adjusted society to me,” Frank told me in an interview, one of his last, in 2010. “And society is much the better off for the adjustments I’ve administered.”

http://www.tnr.com/a...rights?page=0,1 Edited July 5, 2012 by Jingthing

[LeCharivari]

The GLF? They don't need my "dissing".

Kate Bornstein is Jewish too - and a Scientologist. Confusing, that. Harvey Fierstein was also "of the community, not of the religion". Did I mention Harvey Milk?

Strangely, Anderson Cooper wanted to be Jewish and go to the Hebrew School when he was at Dalton. Does that count?

Edited July 5, 2012 by LeCharivari

[Scott]

<snipped>

Strangely, Anderson Cooper wanted to be Jewish and go to the Hebrew School when he was at Dalton. Does that count?

A lot of young gays want to be something, almost anything, other than what they are. Hopefully, with changing attitudes, this compulsion will change. I have often thought that that is part of the reason that so many actors are gay--they get a lot of practice at pretending to be something they aren't.

[LeCharivari]

It just struck me as a strange choice, but I hadn't realised that New York has the largest Jewish population in the world outside Israel. For most of the "rest of the West" I can't imagine that being of a particular religion would make you "fit-in", although obviously having a less usual faith could easily have the opposite effect.

[Jingthing]

<snipped>

Strangely, Anderson Cooper wanted to be Jewish and go to the Hebrew School when he was at Dalton. Does that count?

A lot of young gays want to be something, almost anything, other than what they are. Hopefully, with changing attitudes, this compulsion will change. I have often thought that that is part of the reason that so many actors are gay--they get a lot of practice at pretending to be something they aren't.

This is true. Closet skills learned from an early age can translate into acting skills (and spying skills). Not to mention, Drama Club is good cruising!

[Jingthing]

It just struck me as a strange choice, but I hadn't realised that New York has the largest Jewish population in the world outside Israel. For most of the "rest of the West" I can't imagine that being of a particular religion would make you "fit-in", although obviously having a less usual faith could easily have the opposite effect.

You just found out that New York is a Jewish city? Maybe Anderson is a matzoh queen?

I just found out something new to me and interesting myself.

Anderson's mama, the filthy rich and famous Gloria Vanderbilt is close personal friends with Kathy Griffin! I don't think non-Americans would know her but she's a hilarious comedienne whose main target audience is what she calls her gays. Its starting to add up.

http://en.wikipedia....i/Kathy_Griffin

BTW, Cooper isn't a gay activist. But heterosexual Kathy Griffin most definitely IS a gay activist! You don't have to be gay to be a gay activist. Did I mention that I simply ADORE gay activists?

Griffin is an outspoken supporter for LGBT rights, including same-sex marriage.^[53][54] She has protested with fellow proponents in West Hollywood, California,^[55] and showcased the footage of such protests on her reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Her mother Maggie Griffin is also a supporter of LGBT rights and is seen in Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List protesting alongside her daughter. Prior to the Proposition 8 ballot results, Griffin volunteered for the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center’s "Vote for Equality" campaign, going door-to-door asking Los Angeles residents for their opinion of LGBT marriage rights.[5

Edited July 7, 2012 by Jingthing

[Suradit69]

Ah my dear JT, what of Rachel Maddow? Openly lesbian. (Graduated from Stanford around the same time I was there). She's definately an up and comer and openly gay. No bones about it. And she certainly has her fans both gay and straight.

She also has one of the hottest shows on MSNBC.

AND Stephanie Miller, who is, in my opinion, more fun to listen to and less preachy.

On August 13, 2010 Miller announced on her radio show that she is a lesbian and credited country singer Chely Wright with helping her coming out

http://en.wikipedia....tephanie_Miller

[tombkk]

<snipped>

Strangely, Anderson Cooper wanted to be Jewish and go to the Hebrew School when he was at Dalton. Does that count?

A lot of young gays want to be something, almost anything, other than what they are. Hopefully, with changing attitudes, this compulsion will change. I have often thought that that is part of the reason that so many actors are gay--they get a lot of practice at pretending to be something they aren't.

This is true. Closet skills learned from an early age can translate into acting skills (and spying skills). Not to mention, Drama Club is good cruising!

What have you been drinking? (scnr)

[Jingthing]

What have you been drinking? (scnr)

Nothing interesting. Hot chocolate, green tea, strong coffee, and San Miguel Lite.