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Wild Horses.........

theblether

By theblether
in General Topics

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smokie36 Star Member

smokie36

Posted
Posted

I'm not a huge fan of Phuket....mainly due to the lack of shade on the beaches.

I do have fun in Patong though....laugh.png

This is a tough one I admit.....Haad Rin I loathe....but I will have a think....oh yeah....Phi Phi....never ever again!! Hated that place. bah.gif

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Scully Gold Member

Scully

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Sorry I will start with Pattaya :(

I could only spend one night because I hated it so much. Having never been before I took an ex girlfriend to see what it was like but still got my arse pinched and propositioned several times with girlfriend in tow.

I know this will upset some however this is just my opinion and we are all entitled to one.

Maybe I should have given it more time and explored a bit more but there are far nicer places in my opinion.

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smokie36 Star Member

smokie36

Posted
Posted

Sorry I will start with Pattaya sad.png

I could only spend one night because I hated it so much. Having never been before I took an ex girlfriend to see what it was like but still got my arse pinched and propositioned several times with girlfriend in tow.

I know this will upset some however this is just my opinion and we are all entitled to one.

Maybe I should have given it more time and explored a bit more but there are far nicer places in my opinion.

I was the same first trip...second time was better...now I quite like the place in parts.....next time I will try Jomtien.

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theblether Star Member

theblether

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For me.........Hat Yai.......shocking place, but my physical state that day may have had something to do with it. I'dbeen on a 5 day bender in CM and I was supposed to go to Solo, Indonesia.to see cobras getting made in to soup.

I ended up on a full night session hammering 2 bottles of Samsong and a few beers, I got to bed at 6.30am and was dragged out of my bed at 8.00am by hotel security who knew I had a flight to catch at 9.00. They threw me into a tuk tuk and the guy set the land speed record to get me to the airport.

Right believe this or not, up to you........although only a tourist I'm well known in CM. When I got to security at the airport entrance I was met by staff that knew me and had heard from the hotel that I was mao mak mak. They took my case off me and walked me straight to.the departure gate where they checked me in. AA gave me a hotseat and I thought happy days, I'll get a sleep. Straight on the aircraft......found seat, sat down, eyes shut.......here we go!! Then a party of Thai special forces joined me. We all know it's illegal to be quiet in Thailand but these guys were taking it too far. My head was bursting and I contemplated getting off, just at the moment the captain announced we were ready for take off. I swear it was the first time these guys had flown as the noise level of wonderment just got higher and higher.......so I contemplated a second plan. Just kill them.......all of them.

I had worked out there was only 40 of them and they were all quite small, so one blow.each and that would be it.......kaput for all of them. 40 wee Thai guys against a Scottish bear with a hangover isn't a fair fight.......for them. At this point the supermodel air hostess ( why are AA hostesses always so hot?? ) offered me a drink from the trolley so I quaffed 4 cans of coke partly to get the stench of badgers ass out of my mouth but also to build up energy for my murderous assault against these wee noisy bast*rds that were surrounding me.

At this point the hostess offered me a chocolate bar, so I had 3........not one bit concerned that I was being gouged for crazy prices. Even we Scots will pay over the top if it helps quell.the effects of a hangover.

I'd formulated a plan that if I succeeded in doing in all these wee special forces people the Thais wouldn't dare try me as it would involve too much loss of face..........see!!! I had it all worked out!!!

Anyway just at the point of launching my attack.the hostess offered me a chance to buy a cute wee AA teddy bear...........teddy bears have a body shape I've always admired......so I bought one and a souvenier pen so I could write a letter of explanation to my parents as to why I was in BKK Hilton for murdering 40 Thai special forces. I knew as soon as they found out the noisy wee bandits had interfered with my hangover recovery plan my Dad would understand.

Anyway, at this point, seriously hung over, tired, highly irritable and ready to launch an attack with my teddy bear companion and confession pen, the captain announced we would be arriving soon. So I just sat there festering in my hatred for noisy Thai soldiers and repeatedly stabbed the cute wee teddy with the confession pen while muttering voodoo curses. It didn't work.........

The plane landed and the noisy smurf club got off, not realizing how close.they came to the end of days. I flashed my best sexy smile at the gorgeous hostess but she looked highly alarmed as she had seen the state of the teddy bear.........oh well another fantasy romance lost.

So i got off, still drunk, staggered to the baggage carousel and waited for mybag, which as usual came off stone last. I got outside on a blistering hot day and being last off all the taxis were gone. So I walked out to the main road cursing Hat Yai taxis and got into one of those dinky little songthaews. He dropped me in the town centre.......an alien planet full of weird people who have joined a cult which is dedicated to not smiling and being obtuse to farangs.

I got into a tuk tuk and said.those beautiful words........"take me to a hotel"........it turned out it was Chinese New Year and every hotel was fully booked. I got a grand tour of the cesspit that is Hat Yai while being roasted alive in that horrible little tuk tuk. Still dying from a hangover the guy took me to a hostel type place.......they had a room!!! The biggest room!!! And it was very expensive the lady informed me..........just give me the effin key I said, not caring about such minor matters as my brain was trying to.escape from my skull.

It was a big room.......4 beds........and I crashed out on the first one.......sleep.......thankful sleep. I just got turned over when the door went....it was the lady asking me if I would.like to share my room with Racquel Welsh and Bridgette Bardot. She explained that my room was the last available room in Hat Yai and that these poor damsels were destined to sleep on the streets if I rejected their request.

I looked at Racquel......her voluptuous body full of promise, and at Bridgette, with those gorgeous come to bed eyes and said.......no thanks. The ladies were horrified, the hotel lady pleaded and pointed out that my room was the most expensive they had, Racquel moved her body in a most seductive fashion and Bridgette's eyes signalled.......let me in that room and I'll be in your bed all night.

Nope.......eff off.....I've got a hangover so give me peace. I think your now getting an idea of how bad this hangover is.

The road noise was horrendous, when I crashed out the first time I fell into a deep sleep.....now I couldn't get over again. I tossed and turned and cursed those stupid women for waking me up!! It was the day from hell. Eventually night fell and I thought I may as well go out and have a something to eat. I was amazed at how unfriendly the vibe was on the streets, it really does feel like another country in Hat Yai. I wandered about looking at the gold shops and trying to work out where was best to eat.......I settled on the best contender and I'll be fair........the food was merely crap.......not atrocious.

I got back to my room and I had worked out that the road traffic noise should abate about midnight.....nope.....wrong. All night, it was horrific, unbelievable, I can't say I didn't sleep but it was the worst sleep of my life. I checked out in the morning looking like a reject from a zombie movie........the hotel lady looked at me with spite and hatred and said.......your room expensive.......why you not share with Racquel and Bridgette???

Just give me.the bill I said.........she threw the dish with the bill across the desk at me with disdain as I prepared myself for the massive sum of........400 baht. I went along with.the drama of the moment and I feigned a heart attack.....the hotel lady was disappointed when she realized I was only kidding, she really didn't like me. I paid the bill and scarpered out of town as fast as the wee dinky songthaew could carry me.

Just in case your wondering...........I don't like Hat Yai.

However if Racquel and Bridgette are reading this.......I'm fit for you now.......just send me a pm and we'll get it on!!!!

Just sayin'........you never know.

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David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted (edited)

Strangely, I have to say, I can't think of one place in Thailand I'd never wish to revisit ... even if my first experience there was poor (concurring with the general thoughts about Phuket) as I would return to see if it had improved.

OH, unlike roamer above, I have never been to the IDC.

EDIT ... BTW, theblether ... ripping yarn above!

IDC = Immigration Detention Centre

I've seen the inside of the Heathrow Detention Centre (as an inmate) ... that was enough

Edited by David48
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barefoot1988 Gold Member

barefoot1988

Posted
Posted (edited)

For me.........Hat Yai.......shocking place, but my physical state that day may have had something to do with it. I'dbeen on a 5 day bender in CM and I was supposed to go to Solo, Indonesia.to see cobras getting made in to soup.

I ended up on a full night session hammering 2 bottles of Samsong and a few beers, I got to bed at 6.30am and was dragged out of my bed at 8.00am by hotel security who knew I had a flight to catch at 9.00. They threw me into a tuk tuk and the guy set the land speed record to get me to the airport.

Right believe this or not, up to you........although only a tourist I'm well known in CM. When I got to security at the airport entrance I was met by staff that knew me and had heard from the hotel that I was mao mak mak. They took my case off me and walked me straight to.the departure gate where they checked me in. AA gave me a hotseat and I thought happy days, I'll get a sleep. Straight on the aircraft......found seat, sat down, eyes shut.......here we go!! Then a party of Thai special forces joined me. We all know it's illegal to be quiet in Thailand but these guys were taking it too far. My head was bursting and I contemplated getting off, just at the moment the captain announced we were ready for take off. I swear it was the first time these guys had flown as the noise level of wonderment just got higher and higher.......so I contemplated a second plan. Just kill them.......all of them.

I had worked out there was only 40 of them and they were all quite small, so one blow.each and that would be it.......kaput for all of them. 40 wee Thai guys against a Scottish bear with a hangover isn't a fair fight.......for them. At this point the supermodel air hostess ( why are AA hostesses always so hot?? ) offered me a drink from the trolley so I quaffed 4 cans of coke partly to get the stench of badgers ass out of my mouth but also to build up energy for my murderous assault against these wee noisy bast*rds that were surrounding me.

At this point the hostess offered me a chocolate bar, so I had 3........not one bit concerned that I was being gouged for crazy prices. Even we Scots will pay over the top if it helps quell.the effects of a hangover.

I'd formulated a plan that if I succeeded in doing in all these wee special forces people the Thais wouldn't dare try me as it would involve too much loss of face..........see!!! I had it all worked out!!!

Anyway just at the point of launching my attack.the hostess offered me a chance to buy a cute wee AA teddy bear...........teddy bears have a body shape I've always admired......so I bought one and a souvenier pen so I could write a letter of explanation to my parents as to why I was in BKK Hilton for murdering 40 Thai special forces. I knew as soon as they found out the noisy wee bandits had interfered with my hangover recovery plan my Dad would understand.

Anyway, at this point, seriously hung over, tired, highly irritable and ready to launch an attack with my teddy bear companion and confession pen, the captain announced we would be arriving soon. So I just sat there festering in my hatred for noisy Thai soldiers and repeatedly stabbed the cute wee teddy with the confession pen while muttering voodoo curses. It didn't work.........

The plane landed and the noisy smurf club got off, not realizing how close.they came to the end of days. I flashed my best sexy smile at the gorgeous hostess but she looked highly alarmed as she had seen the state of the teddy bear.........oh well another fantasy romance lost.

So i got off, still drunk, staggered to the baggage carousel and waited for mybag, which as usual came off stone last. I got outside on a blistering hot day and being last off all the taxis were gone. So I walked out to the main road cursing Hat Yai taxis and got into one of those dinky little songthaews. He dropped me in the town centre.......an alien planet full of weird people who have joined a cult which is dedicated to not smiling and being obtuse to farangs.

I got into a tuk tuk and said.those beautiful words........"take me to a hotel"........it turned out it was Chinese New Year and every hotel was fully booked. I got a grand tour of the cesspit that is Hat Yai while being roasted alive in that horrible little tuk tuk. Still dying from a hangover the guy took me to a hostel type place.......they had a room!!! The biggest room!!! And it was very expensive the lady informed me..........just give me the effin key I said, not caring about such minor matters as my brain was trying to.escape from my skull.

It was a big room.......4 beds........and I crashed out on the first one.......sleep.......thankful sleep. I just got turned over when the door went....it was the lady asking me if I would.like to share my room with Racquel Welsh and Bridgette Bardot. She explained that my room was the last available room in Hat Yai and that these poor damsels were destined to sleep on the streets if I rejected their request.

I looked at Racquel......her voluptuous body full of promise, and at Bridgette, with those gorgeous come to bed eyes and said.......no thanks. The ladies were horrified, the hotel lady pleaded and pointed out that my room was the most expensive they had, Racquel moved her body in a most seductive fashion and Bridgette's eyes signalled.......let me in that room and I'll be in your bed all night.

Nope.......eff off.....I've got a hangover so give me peace. I think your now getting an idea of how bad this hangover is.

The road noise was horrendous, when I crashed out the first time I fell into a deep sleep.....now I couldn't get over again. I tossed and turned and cursed those stupid women for waking me up!! It was the day from hell. Eventually night fell and I thought I may as well go out and have a something to eat. I was amazed at how unfriendly the vibe was on the streets, it really does feel like another country in Hat Yai. I wandered about looking at the gold shops and trying to work out where was best to eat.......I settled on the best contender and I'll be fair........the food was merely crap.......not atrocious.

I got back to my room and I had worked out that the road traffic noise should abate about midnight.....nope.....wrong. All night, it was horrific, unbelievable, I can't say I didn't sleep but it was the worst sleep of my life. I checked out in the morning looking like a reject from a zombie movie........the hotel lady looked at me with spite and hatred and said.......your room expensive.......why you not share with Racquel and Bridgette???

Just give me.the bill I said.........she threw the dish with the bill across the desk at me with disdain as I prepared myself for the massive sum of........400 baht. I went along with.the drama of the moment and I feigned a heart attack.....the hotel lady was disappointed when she realized I was only kidding, she really didn't like me. I paid the bill and scarpered out of town as fast as the wee dinky songthaew could carry me.

Just in case your wondering...........I don't like Hat Yai.

However if Racquel and Bridgette are reading this.......I'm fit for you now.......just send me a pm and we'll get it on!!!!

Just sayin'........you never know.

<deleted>, did you just type all this? unicorn couldn't drag me to read this, especially 5am in the morning

Edited by barefoot1988
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bannork Ruby Member

bannork

Posted
Posted

Strangely, I have to say, I can't think of one place in Thailand I'd never wish to revisit ... even if my first experience there was poor (concurring with the general thoughts about Phuket) as I would return to see if it had improved.

OH, unlike roamer above, I have never been to the IDC.

EDIT ... BTW, theblether ... ripping yarn above!

IDC = Immigration Detention Centre

I've seen the inside of the Heathrow Detention Centre (as an inmate) ... that was enough

Got to agree with David here, an excellent ripping yarn from the indefatigable Scotsman. Got to agree about Had Yai as well, not a friendly place and those noisy little open minivans. Songkhla just down the road is far nicer.

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londoedan Gold Member

londoedan

Posted
Posted

Sorry to go off topic, but when I saw the topic title I immediately thought of this

[back to topic, now.

Thats exactly what I thought of too - one of the best tracks, from one of their best albums - perhaps their last truly great album IMHO - ace clap2.gif

Interesting to see G&R f**king the song-up in the clips linked at the end of The Stones's beautiful rendition, 25 years after they wrote it.

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canman Gold Member

canman

Posted
Posted

Sorry I will start with Pattaya sad.png

I could only spend one night because I hated it so much. Having never been before I took an ex girlfriend to see what it was like but still got my arse pinched and propositioned several times with girlfriend in tow.

I know this will upset some however this is just my opinion and we are all entitled to one.

Maybe I should have given it more time and explored a bit more but there are far nicer places in my opinion.

I knew it was coming! 8 posts before a Pattaya mention though is suprising.

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chrisinth Ruby Member

chrisinth

Posted
Posted (edited)

Wild horses wouldn't drag me back! Sh1t, wild elephants wouldn't either!

Singh's roadside dentist!

post-76988-0-71512300-1345096217_thumb.j

He wanted to do a root canal for me <deleted>.......................sick.gif

tongue.png

Edited by chrisinth
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lovelomsak Gold Member

lovelomsak

Posted
Posted

I think the term is "A team of wild horses" but i could be wrong.

Anyways Phuket would be the place for me with Koh Samui in second place. Been to Phuket once, stayed one day and one night. Left and have no wish to ever go there again.

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F1fanatic Platinum Member

F1fanatic

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't go so far as to say "wild horses" etc., but I found Bangkok a nightmare for 'scammers' when I stayed for a few days (on holiday).

I'd go back though, as I'm less naive now and would like to see more of the cultural sites.

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theblether Star Member

theblether

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I agree f1......my first visits to BKK were poor, the last time I was there I saw a little more of it that I found attractive.

I liked the look of Royal Avenue ( that's what the taxi driver said it was called ) and I would like to wander around that area a bit more.

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