Farang Men Who Have Healthy Relationships With Thai Men

[DUMPSTER]

Sadly our gayness will never fully be accepted, too hard for most of the world.. dukkha

Yes I agree, but it is then up to gays to accept this. However too may make it an issue and forget about living. If you spend your time worrying what others think of you or what they say about you, you end up living your life for somebody else. I know this all too well but I am trying to change and therefore I'm slowly coming out in Thailand. This will hopefully make my relationship stronger and healthier

[dukkha]

All too true. One of the most liberating experiences in life is when one is no longer concerned about what others think about you.....it does not mean you do not respect others naturally...it took me far to long to reach that point and would encourage others to get hold of it as soon as you can and then your life will take on a different meaning.....and ones relationship can only but grow healthier and happier.....it takes guts and a lot of pain but in the end it is well worth it.... dukkha

[phayao]

All too true......it takes guts and a lot of pain but in the end it is well worth it.... dukkha

How right you are, dukkha !

I`m inviting family members, friends and long time costumers to my wedding and I can see how happy they are to be invited. Some are coming with their children (10 to 16 y.o.).

I always thought that this day was not going to arrive in my lifetime, I'm really thrilled !

[ChrisP]

MANY Congratulations..!! phayao

Can you tell us a little bit about it all..? You and your partner, etc etc..

Cheers

ChrisP

[jdinasia]

Bump to the top .....

[dukkha]

JD, could you possibly furnish me with a translation...'bump to the top'....not in that linguistic loop apparently... dukkha

[dukkha]

Maybe it is in reference to XP wanting more info from Phayoa, and you are saying check out the thread in earlier posts to get the info...confused but willing to learn.. dukkha

[jdinasia]

or maybe it was just moving this thread from Page 2 ... to the top of page 1

[phayao]

MANY Congratulations..!! phayao

Can you tell us a little bit about it all..? You and your partner, etc etc..

Cheers

ChrisP

Well. We got married yesterday morning in the Civil Registry. Only my brothers and sisters and my old friends were present, some twelve people.

The officials were very friendly and the ceremony lasted only five minutes.

I noticed that there were two other gay couples and one lesbian couple in the 15 weddings that took place before ours; we were the last at 13:30 exactly.

We are celebrating the wedding next saturday with a lunch for 50 family members and friends.

On monday (holiday here) we'll be having another lunch with some 30 Thai friends.

Not a single friend or family member has asked me "Whom are you marrying?"; after almost 15 years of living together I think it's pretty obvious.

I'm really touched by the fact some are coming with their children.

[Steve2UK]

Congratulations and best wishes to you both, Phayao !

[dukkha]

In the words of JDIA...I am bumping to the top...our relationship continues to be healthy, emotionally and psychologically, however physically my partner has had a slipped disc for over 6 months....6 hospitals and as many doctors and no better...wonder if anyone knows a decent chiropractor, not the yankee guy in Sukumvit, been there and done that,,,we are desperate as it is affecting the relationship, when someone is in pain lots of stress enters the interaction..forget Bumrangrud, Sumityav, and the other upscale ones, all have said, oh he needs his spine cut, not on my nellie is my thought... Dukkha

[Ijustwannateach]

I'm no doctor, but considering that one chiro has failed and you're getting the same message from various second opinions: maybe they're right? It's true that when all a surgeon has is a knife everything looks like a tumour, but once in a while surely surgery is the only solution....? Good luck however things go; I don't know any chiropractors- have you also tried acupuncture?

[dukkha]

Where does one find such a thing as an acupuncturist in LOS IJWT?? Wrong thread problably... Dukkha

[Deadcert]

Actually make that 3, as I come to Thailand and don't date guys or girls, or Katoey. I get sick of "knowing" looks when I am out with friends of either sex. I feel like saying "actually you have no idea whats going on "

Dating ---

There are a million issues (ok a slight exagerration) that arise when one begins dating another person regardless of the genders involved.

I think there are 2 types of gay men (farang) that come to Thailand looking for relationships. The two types while having some small points where they are similar really are quite different.

Type 1 --- The farang looking for a wife.

People in this group tend to go for the "trophy" at least in their own minds. The income of the prospective spouse doesn't really matter. The social background of this person doesn't really matter. What does matter (in no particular order) age, appearance, good heart, friendliness, etc. This type of guy often has a close group of farang friends in the same types of relationships. (A very good thing .. gives social outlets that allow for communication etc. Also allows for their partners to associate freely so THEY have people to talk to as well.)

Type 2 --- The farang looking for a partner.

People in this group tend to look for other things first. Ability to communicate fully. Similar worldviews and social backgrounds. This type of guy is more difficult to find in Thailand but it IS doable.

I stand by my beliefs that to DATE someone here that you would not date back wherever home was is likely to be futile if you are in fact looking for something that really lasts. However I am learning more from my type1 friends that with the right group of like-minded friends that this approach can work. I am also learning that many of those friends are looking more for serial monogamy than anythin longterm and that is cool too!

[DUMPSTER]

Where does one find such a thing as an acupuncturist in LOS IJWT?? Wrong thread problably... Dukkha

one of my adult students is an acupuncturist / chinese medicine practitioner in Pattaya, i believe. I say believe because i remember the chinese medicine part and i'm sure he said acupuncturist too. I can check if that's any help? He is very much into meditation and qi qong.

Healthy mind, healthy body = healthy relationship, don't you think?

[dukkha]

Indeedio Dumpster, healthy mind, body, relationship etc...and of course regardless of cultures involved in the relationship...always a pleasure to read your comments on TV, one of the more balanced and intelligent contributors...and hey, so I get my topic back to the top after a long time...seriously that is not a concern, what we have to offer one another in the posts is my prime motive, it is quality of posts not quantity that interests me....thanks again Dukkha

[jdinasia]

lol I actually agree about Dumpy ... he coul use some help with being a tish less abrasive with his opinions ... <but then again so could I !!!!>

[dukkha]

JD a busy boy tapping away today...I dont consider you abrasive, if you have an opinion you state it succinctly, and I do enjoy reading your posts...you are a bit like pepper and salt young man, in everything so to speak...Phuket?? Hope you are enjoying it....But I think enjoyment comes easily for you wherever you are...Bangkok has been the right move for me to date, energised and stimulated... Dukkha

[DUMPSTER]

lol I actually agree about Dumpy ... he could use some help with being a tish less abrasive with his opinions ... <but then again so could I !!!!>

bloody cheek. Me abrasive! I call a spade a spade!

I've said before, it's quite difficult to read the intent on some peoples posts. I sit here typing away with a smile on my face, especially when i'm in the Pattaya forum dealing with all those bigots in there, but all you miserable sods cant see that

Some people are better at saying things in writing whereas im better at speaking face to face with people. I'm sure i've met alot of those homophobes in the Pattaya forum in the past somewhere and they wouldn't even know that it was me, Dumpster, they were talking to, but on TV they can call me anything they like hiding behind their computers. As long as I know who I am and what I am trying to achieve with my life then they will have no affect on me. As for them they must do what they feel is right. Ignorance is bliss.

I'm sure we all build up pictures of posters and what they might be like in real life. God only knows what some must think of me but hey life isn't a popularity contest full of fake smiles though i'm sure some think it is.

[dukkha]

You go DUMP...am luvin it...a spade is a spade luv...no time to beat around the bush/bull/shit..I for one would love a face to face...I reckon we could talk the legs off the proverbial table and still have a smile on our faces at the end of it all...its all too short and therefore I need to say it as i feel it...once you hit the big 60, well you know then it aint long before they can pull the curtain doll...did Jomtien last week...the water was too dirty to swim but had the apartimento glamoroso so plunged the kewl pewl...will return as it was peaceful and not having to deal with too much farango trashola..have a glance if you feel like it...www.freewebs.com/aziazone a small attempt at saying a few things, both relevant and irrelevant...lovin the Big Mango, so much to do and see...must buy some more British India labels, cant resist the linen...so Raj...kop khun maak krup Dukkha

[jdinasia]

and finally THIS ...

at least we have a few threads that are about reltionships that don't paint with the same old negtive broad brush

[dukkha]

I would have thought that healthy thai/farang relationships do not have something wanting in them, that is why they are precisely healthy, given the normal ups and downs of any relationship, and accusations that those of us who do have them are needing to examine them, as cited by one of the posters, is indeed unfair in my opinion....but hey, I'm Only Human...forget the rest of the lyrics of that particular song but it aint Carly Simon.... Dukkha