Foreigner At Home Vs Foreigners In Thailand

[rgs2001uk]

Why wouldn't someone with money want to financially support someone they love who has far less money?

Its not the supporting the partner thats the problem, its the baggage they bring with them.

Papa pissing his money away on lao kao, mama gambling it away on hi lo or lottery tickets, the brother needing a ladyboy operation, the sick buffalo, the 6 month pregnant younger 14 year old sister whose boyfriend has done a runner, need I go on.

[chiangmaikelly]

Exactly! Either its an 'equal' relationship, so all money is shared - or its an un-equal relationship and one partner is 'paid'.

What about emotions? What about age? What about physical appearance? Are they all shared in an equal manner? Do you think that one may have more in one area and less in another?

I have a daughter who married a really poor guy but he was very handsome. I have another daughter who married a really ugly guy but he was very very nice. One daughter was always into surface things the other looked deeper into people. I have another daughter married a guy who was neither rich or handsome. He was an older man but one of the best French cooks I have ever met. She is overweight but very happy.

[robblok]

I pay my wife each month. I've lived here for 5 years so I know how it's works. It's only stupid when you're not getting anything in return for it(for example living abroad while your bar "girlfriend" is still giving jobs). In my case I get plenty of companionship and sex with the deal.

If you want to have a woman, you have to pay. Some pay it through giving their house or assets up after divorce. Some pay it through a monthly allowance. Same same.

It might be strange to you but i know many guys who are not paying their g/f's actually their gf is sharing in the costs and has her own job. I know it a real novel idea for many guys an independent woman.

It is not a silly or novel idea. It is probably 99% of the men in Thailand wives are contributing the same or more than the males living here.

What is silly or novel is that you don't realize it. Or that you think the only thing contributed to a relationship is money. As you get older; and hopefully wiser you will gain an understanding that not everything is based on cash. Or not everything is based on not cash.

Is your wife roughly equivalent to you in age, intelligence, education and general physical appearance? If that is the case then maybe you are contributing equally to the relationship.

My wife is younger than I (a lot), better educated (2 more degrees), far better looking, she is also very flexible (yoga daily). Do you think we should contribute money equally to the relationship? If I give more cash and she gives more love and support does that mean she is not independent or we are not sharing equally in the costs of the relationship?

In that case your paying for your wife, that is the way i see it and how many others would see it. Quite normal if your not looking that good and want something you normally without money cant have.

I am a bit older (not much 9 years) then my wife and both in the same scale of looks so nothing i could not have without money. If i wanted a 18 yo coyote dancer i would have to pay too. I would not consider that a relationship i would consider that renting because when the money stops she is gone.

[StreetCowboy]

Why wouldn't someone with money want to financially support someone they love who has far less money?

Its not the supporting the partner thats the problem, its the baggage they bring with them.

Papa pissing his money away on lao kao, mama gambling it away on hi lo or lottery tickets, the brother needing a ladyboy operation, the sick buffalo, the 6 month pregnant younger 14 year old sister whose boyfriend has done a runner, need I go on.

You'll need to redirect me to that thread, as I don't remember it. In fact, I don't remember the last time I read a thread telling a tale of woe such as the OP claims to be fed up with. In fact, I go so far as to say that such threads are exceptionally rare on this forum, and that the stereotype of the fellow who loses it all is far from typical. The people that promote this thread are the bigots on this forum, and ignorant people overseas who love a tale of tragedy in foreign lands, that they can feel better about their own lack of adventure and enterprise.

SC

[siampreggers]

My wife of 5 years is pregnant, I rather her stay at home, snooze, eat and relax than continue to work and contribute to the household finances.

When we have our child I will prefer her to stay at home and stay with the child and take care of our house than go out to work to contribute to the household finances.

She also has a stay at home business which is now on the backburner so she can relax fully.

There's no 'monthly salary'. When she needs something I buy it. When we go shopping I pay. As I'm at work all day I return to a clean house with everything washed and cleaned and a nice dinner cooked.

To compare to the West. I probably couldn't afford to fully support a household and pregnant wife comfortably so she'd have to continue working throughout her pregnancy and the child's first years. And both of us would also have to dedicate more time to household chores.

I think the first way is better.

[brit1984]

If the guy's girlfriend earns considerably less than him or has more financial obligations (e.g. children) then it seems reasonable for the guy to provide some form of subsidy if he is financially secure and expects the relationship to last.

If the girlfriend is a billionaire heiress and doesn't have any dependants, it would be a little strange for her boyfriend to transfer 50% of his unemployment benefits to her via Western Union each month, but sometimes love makes people do crazy things.

I personally have nothing against any guy transferring money to girlfriends from abroad, whatever the circumstances, and I find it a little bit difficult to understand why this would bother anyone, except maybe another girlfriend/ boyfriend of the same guy (maybe the OP could clarify if this exception is relevant in the cases that seem to irk him).

For the record, I once transferred some money to my then girlfriend (now wife)'s account from abroad (as I was visiting my little brother in Shanghai and I needed to make a payment to a new payee but didn't have by banking dongle thingy with me so I transferred money to her to transfer onto the 3rd party).... I hope the anti-money-transfer-to-girlfriend-from-abroad-crowd can forgive me for this violation of their ethical code.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[chiangmaikelly]

It might be strange to you but i know many guys who are not paying their g/f's actually their gf is sharing in the costs and has her own job. I know it a real novel idea for many guys an independent woman.

It is not a silly or novel idea. It is probably 99% of the men in Thailand wives are contributing the same or more than the males living here.

What is silly or novel is that you don't realize it. Or that you think the only thing contributed to a relationship is money. As you get older; and hopefully wiser you will gain an understanding that not everything is based on cash. Or not everything is based on not cash.

Is your wife roughly equivalent to you in age, intelligence, education and general physical appearance? If that is the case then maybe you are contributing equally to the relationship.

My wife is younger than I (a lot), better educated (2 more degrees), far better looking, she is also very flexible (yoga daily). Do you think we should contribute money equally to the relationship? If I give more cash and she gives more love and support does that mean she is not independent or we are not sharing equally in the costs of the relationship?

In that case your paying for your wife, that is the way i see it and how many others would see it. Quite normal if your not looking that good and want something you normally without money cant have.

I am a bit older (not much 9 years) then my wife and both in the same scale of looks so nothing i could not have without money. If i wanted a 18 yo coyote dancer i would have to pay too. I would not consider that a relationship i would consider that renting because when the money stops she is gone.

That is not fair nor is it nice or true. You are implying that I pay for an 18 year old coyote dancer when I stated my wife has two more degrees than I do. Lets assume I have one degree that means wife has three and no way she could get that at 18. I never said I was paying my wife! Where do you get off saying I am? My wife pays more into my relastionship than I as do 99% of the women in Thailand. That's what I said. Read the darn post. You can't admit that you are normal? No better no worse than anyone else. Everybody is just like you. Men don't pay more than women in a relationship in Thailand. It is in your head. Just remember not everything that is important can be bought. It probably seems like it is now because you equate your self worth in terms of money and your wife is paying for you but trust me as you get older you will see more and clearer.

[robblok]

It might be strange to you but i know many guys who are not paying their g/f's actually their gf is sharing in the costs and has her own job. I know it a real novel idea for many guys an independent woman.

It is not a silly or novel idea. It is probably 99% of the men in Thailand wives are contributing the same or more than the males living here.

What is silly or novel is that you don't realize it. Or that you think the only thing contributed to a relationship is money. As you get older; and hopefully wiser you will gain an understanding that not everything is based on cash. Or not everything is based on not cash.

Is your wife roughly equivalent to you in age, intelligence, education and general physical appearance? If that is the case then maybe you are contributing equally to the relationship.

My wife is younger than I (a lot), better educated (2 more degrees), far better looking, she is also very flexible (yoga daily). Do you think we should contribute money equally to the relationship? If I give more cash and she gives more love and support does that mean she is not independent or we are not sharing equally in the costs of the relationship?

In that case your paying for your wife, that is the way i see it and how many others would see it. Quite normal if your not looking that good and want something you normally without money cant have.

I am a bit older (not much 9 years) then my wife and both in the same scale of looks so nothing i could not have without money. If i wanted a 18 yo coyote dancer i would have to pay too. I would not consider that a relationship i would consider that renting because when the money stops she is gone.

That is not fair nor is it nice or true. You are implying that I pay for an 18 year old coyote dancer when I stated my wife has two more degrees than I do. Lets assume I have one degree that means wife has three and no way she could get that at 18. I never said I was paying my wife! Where do you get off saying I am? My wife pays more into my relastionship than I as do 99% of the women in Thailand. That's what I said. Read the darn post. You can't admit that you are normal? No better no worse than anyone else. Everybody is just like you. Men don't pay more than women in a relationship in Thailand. It is in your head. Just remember not everything that is important can be bought. It probably seems like it is now because you equate your self worth in terms of money and your wife is paying for you but trust me as you get older you will see more and clearer.

I never said you had an 18yo coyote dancer, i said if i wanted one I would have to pay her. But i am suggesting there is a big age difference between you and your wife. You said you will be 100 in 30 years. So i assume your 70. I also assume you pay a lot and she gives you sex back .. at least that is what i read from the yoga part. Sound like a rental agreement to me.

But if your not giving a salary or paying of her family or something then ill take back my words.

[F1fanatic]

Exactly! Either its an 'equal' relationship, so all money is shared - or its an un-equal relationship and one partner is 'paid'.

What about emotions? What about age? What about physical appearance? Are they all shared in an equal manner? Do you think that one may have more in one area and less in another?

I have a daughter who married a really poor guy but he was very handsome. I have another daughter who married a really ugly guy but he was very very nice. One daughter was always into surface things the other looked deeper into people. I have another daughter married a guy who was neither rich or handsome. He was an older man but one of the best French cooks I have ever met. She is overweight but very happy.

You're missing my point. I'm sure that your daughters are in marriages where all their money is shared, rather than the daughter being paid by her husband.

[chiangmaikelly]

Exactly! Either its an 'equal' relationship, so all money is shared - or its an un-equal relationship and one partner is 'paid'.

What about emotions? What about age? What about physical appearance? Are they all shared in an equal manner? Do you think that one may have more in one area and less in another?

I have a daughter who married a really poor guy but he was very handsome. I have another daughter who married a really ugly guy but he was very very nice. One daughter was always into surface things the other looked deeper into people. I have another daughter married a guy who was neither rich or handsome. He was an older man but one of the best French cooks I have ever met. She is overweight but very happy.

You're missing my point. I'm sure that your daughters are in marriages where all their money is shared, rather than the daughter being paid by her husband.

Shared!!!! Daughter makes decent bucks, husbands little bucks. Daughter shares $1000 dollars, hubby shares $10 dollars. Is that sharing? 100 to 1. She is paying him because she likes handsome.

[F1fanatic]

My wife of 5 years is pregnant, I rather her stay at home, snooze, eat and relax than continue to work and contribute to the household finances.

When we have our child I will prefer her to stay at home and stay with the child and take care of our house than go out to work to contribute to the household finances.

She also has a stay at home business which is now on the backburner so she can relax fully.

There's no 'monthly salary'. When she needs something I buy it. When we go shopping I pay. As I'm at work all day I return to a clean house with everything washed and cleaned and a nice dinner cooked.

To compare to the West. I probably couldn't afford to fully support a household and pregnant wife comfortably so she'd have to continue working throughout her pregnancy and the child's first years. And both of us would also have to dedicate more time to household chores.

I think the first way is better.

Why don't you share your finances, rather than paying for anything your wife needs?

Far better that you accept that your wife and yourself are having a child - you both prefer her to stay at home - therefore you are not paying for anything. She is just buying what she needs from your shared resources.

[F1fanatic]

Exactly! Either its an 'equal' relationship, so all money is shared - or its an un-equal relationship and one partner is 'paid'.

What about emotions? What about age? What about physical appearance? Are they all shared in an equal manner? Do you think that one may have more in one area and less in another?

I have a daughter who married a really poor guy but he was very handsome. I have another daughter who married a really ugly guy but he was very very nice. One daughter was always into surface things the other looked deeper into people. I have another daughter married a guy who was neither rich or handsome. He was an older man but one of the best French cooks I have ever met. She is overweight but very happy.

You're missing my point. I'm sure that your daughters are in marriages where all their money is shared, rather than the daughter being paid by her husband.

Shared!!!! Daughter makes decent bucks, husbands little bucks. Daughter shares $1000 dollars, hubby shares $10 dollars. Is that sharing? 100 to 1. She is paying him because she likes handsome.

Are you saying that your daughter and her husband do not share their resources - unequal as they may be? But your daughter pays her husband a monthly amount?

[chiangmaikelly]

What about emotions? What about age? What about physical appearance? Are they all shared in an equal manner? Do you think that one may have more in one area and less in another?

I have a daughter who married a really poor guy but he was very handsome. I have another daughter who married a really ugly guy but he was very very nice. One daughter was always into surface things the other looked deeper into people. I have another daughter married a guy who was neither rich or handsome. He was an older man but one of the best French cooks I have ever met. She is overweight but very happy.

You're missing my point. I'm sure that your daughters are in marriages where all their money is shared, rather than the daughter being paid by her husband.

Shared!!!! Daughter makes decent bucks, husbands little bucks. Daughter shares $1000 dollars, hubby shares $10 dollars. Is that sharing? 100 to 1. She is paying him because she likes handsome.

Are you saying that your daughter and her husband do not share their resources - unequal as they may be? But your daughter pays her husband a monthly amount?

Yes. They have a joint account. She puts in $1000 he puts in $10. He takes out $100 and she takes out $100. So in reality she is paying him. Monthly or yearly whatever you want to call it.

[Berkshire]

The crazy thing is that many foreigners come to Thailand and use the money-angle to try and snatch a Thai girl. Then they act all surprised and stunned to learn later that she's only interested in their money. Bizarre.

[rgs2001uk]

Why wouldn't someone with money want to financially support someone they love who has far less money?

Its not the supporting the partner thats the problem, its the baggage they bring with them.

Papa pissing his money away on lao kao, mama gambling it away on hi lo or lottery tickets, the brother needing a ladyboy operation, the sick buffalo, the 6 month pregnant younger 14 year old sister whose boyfriend has done a runner, need I go on.

You'll need to redirect me to that thread, as I don't remember it. In fact, I don't remember the last time I read a thread telling a tale of woe such as the OP claims to be fed up with. In fact, I go so far as to say that such threads are exceptionally rare on this forum, and that the stereotype of the fellow who loses it all is far from typical. The people that promote this thread are the bigots on this forum, and ignorant people overseas who love a tale of tragedy in foreign lands, that they can feel better about their own lack of adventure and enterprise.

SC

Try here for starters,

[chiangmaikelly]

The crazy thing is that many foreigners come to Thailand and use the money-angle to try and snatch a Thai girl. Then they act all surprised and stunned to learn later that she's only interested in their money. Bizarre.

Or the Thai woman is stunned to learn when the Farang or Thai man dumps her after the baby; he was only looking for her beautiful perfect single body and lifestyle.

[F1fanatic]

Chiangmai - Sorry, I cannot reply directly to your post (too many quotes or something), but -

NO! She is not paying him in the sense we are talking about on this thread.

My understanding is that paying someone implies that one partner has the money, whilst the other is paid an amount each month.

[tinfoilhat]

My wife can earn maybe 10-15000 bath pr month, why bother?

When I go off-shore working I give her X bath and it works just fine.

not so much now, but when i first got to Bangkok, i used to know 3 or 4 women with husbands off shore. we had a very good time working our way through their allowance while hubby was gone.

It was a point of pride with these women to spend your money while letting me keep mine.

idle hands and all that, personally i cant live with a woman who does nothing.

they lack self esteem are bored and more often than not it is women who do nothing that are the ones who become nutters and do crazy stuff.

a woman who is contributing to the relationship, or even making her own spending money while you carry the major expenses is in my experience much better to be around. If the relationship doesn't work out, they are also likely to be able to pick up where they left off, often better for the experience.

It would seem to be to be wise to seek out a self-sufficient woman, common sense in fact.

I would like to point out that i was 25 when i came to bangkok, and my take is relevant to a relationship based on a partnership, not a nurse/patient relationship or the exchange that takes place between a 75 year old man and his 22 year old GFE

[chiangmaikelly]

Chiangmai - Sorry, I cannot reply directly to your post (too many quotes or something), but -

NO! She is not paying him in the sense we are talking about on this thread.

My understanding is that paying someone implies that one partner has the money, whilst the other is paid an amount each month.

I understand what you are saying. I am suggesting that it is the same thing when people of different amounts of wealth share. I am calling it sharing and you are calling it giving an allowance. The result is that money flows from the one who has the most to the one who has the least. In my daughter's case she is providing unlimited allowance in the case you are suggesting it is limited by a certain amount per month.

The only difference I can see is the one giving the allowance is cheaper than the one sharing a bank account. From the normal Thai womans standpoint sharing a joint account would be the quicker method of getting all the cash, if that was her intention.

[tinfoilhat]

Why wouldn't someone with money want to financially support someone they love who has far less money?

to a point, this makes sense. but only to a point.

[F1fanatic]

Chiangmai - Sorry, I cannot reply directly to your post (too many quotes or something), but -

NO! She is not paying him in the sense we are talking about on this thread.

My understanding is that paying someone implies that one partner has the money, whilst the other is paid an amount each month.

I understand what you are saying. I am suggesting that it is the same thing when people of different amounts of wealth share. I am calling it sharing and you are calling it giving an allowance. The result is that money flows from the one who has the most to the one who has the least. In my daughter's case she is providing unlimited allowance in the case you are suggesting it is limited by a certain amount per month.

The only difference I can see is the one giving the allowance is cheaper than the one sharing a bank account. From the normal Thai womans standpoint sharing a joint account would be the quicker method of getting all the cash, if that was her intention.

Precisely. Which is why the 'suspect' partner is paid... Something you rarely see in normal Western couples.

[chiangmaikelly]

It is not a silly or novel idea. It is probably 99% of the men in Thailand wives are contributing the same or more than the males living here.

What is silly or novel is that you don't realize it. Or that you think the only thing contributed to a relationship is money. As you get older; and hopefully wiser you will gain an understanding that not everything is based on cash. Or not everything is based on not cash.

Is your wife roughly equivalent to you in age, intelligence, education and general physical appearance? If that is the case then maybe you are contributing equally to the relationship.

My wife is younger than I (a lot), better educated (2 more degrees), far better looking, she is also very flexible (yoga daily). Do you think we should contribute money equally to the relationship? If I give more cash and she gives more love and support does that mean she is not independent or we are not sharing equally in the costs of the relationship?

In that case your paying for your wife, that is the way i see it and how many others would see it. Quite normal if your not looking that good and want something you normally without money cant have.

I am a bit older (not much 9 years) then my wife and both in the same scale of looks so nothing i could not have without money. If i wanted a 18 yo coyote dancer i would have to pay too. I would not consider that a relationship i would consider that renting because when the money stops she is gone.

That is not fair nor is it nice or true. You are implying that I pay for an 18 year old coyote dancer when I stated my wife has two more degrees than I do. Lets assume I have one degree that means wife has three and no way she could get that at 18. I never said I was paying my wife! Where do you get off saying I am? My wife pays more into my relastionship than I as do 99% of the women in Thailand. That's what I said. Read the darn post. You can't admit that you are normal? No better no worse than anyone else. Everybody is just like you. Men don't pay more than women in a relationship in Thailand. It is in your head. Just remember not everything that is important can be bought. It probably seems like it is now because you equate your self worth in terms of money and your wife is paying for you but trust me as you get older you will see more and clearer.

I never said you had an 18yo coyote dancer, i said if i wanted one I would have to pay her. But i am suggesting there is a big age difference between you and your wife. You said you will be 100 in 30 years. So i assume your 70. I also assume you pay a lot and she gives you sex back .. at least that is what i read from the yoga part. Sound like a rental agreement to me.

But if your not giving a salary or paying of her family or something then ill take back my words.

When you reply to me mentioning an 18 year coyote dancer I think it is safe to assume you are not really talking about you but whatever..... No I don't pay her a salary, for gosh sake she is a graduate engineer doing quite well. I don't pay her family anything. Dad is dead, sister is a government official, brother an architect. Mom travels, has fun and forgets to call daughters or answer the phone for days on end. Daughters get upset at mom. I'm sure you know the drill. My wife wants sex more than I do. I'm 70 for gosh sakes. But we won't go there or they will delete my post. I have thought about giving her money not to have sex actually but so far have not. After all we are talking about my wife here not my mia noi!!!

[lovelomsak]

Can some one tell me why everyone is so off topic? The Op was about guys not living here and sending their gf money. Some how it got so off topic everyone is discussing how they manage their personal finances in their home. Who cares how couples manage their private finances. Live and let live.

So why donot we all get back on topic or open a new thread.

[robblok]

In that case your paying for your wife, that is the way i see it and how many others would see it. Quite normal if your not looking that good and want something you normally without money cant have.

I am a bit older (not much 9 years) then my wife and both in the same scale of looks so nothing i could not have without money. If i wanted a 18 yo coyote dancer i would have to pay too. I would not consider that a relationship i would consider that renting because when the money stops she is gone.

That is not fair nor is it nice or true. You are implying that I pay for an 18 year old coyote dancer when I stated my wife has two more degrees than I do. Lets assume I have one degree that means wife has three and no way she could get that at 18. I never said I was paying my wife! Where do you get off saying I am? My wife pays more into my relastionship than I as do 99% of the women in Thailand. That's what I said. Read the darn post. You can't admit that you are normal? No better no worse than anyone else. Everybody is just like you. Men don't pay more than women in a relationship in Thailand. It is in your head. Just remember not everything that is important can be bought. It probably seems like it is now because you equate your self worth in terms of money and your wife is paying for you but trust me as you get older you will see more and clearer.

I never said you had an 18yo coyote dancer, i said if i wanted one I would have to pay her. But i am suggesting there is a big age difference between you and your wife. You said you will be 100 in 30 years. So i assume your 70. I also assume you pay a lot and she gives you sex back .. at least that is what i read from the yoga part. Sound like a rental agreement to me.

But if your not giving a salary or paying of her family or something then ill take back my words.

When you reply to me mentioning an 18 year coyote dancer I think it is safe to assume you are not really talking about you but whatever..... No I don't pay her a salary, for gosh sake she is a graduate engineer doing quite well. I don't pay her family anything. Dad is dead, sister is a government official, brother an architect. Mom travels, has fun and forgets to call daughters or answer the phone for days on end. Daughters get upset at mom. I'm sure you know the drill. My wife wants sex more than I do. I'm 70 for gosh sakes. But we won't go there or they will delete my post. I have thought about giving her money not to have sex actually but so far have not. After all we are talking about my wife here not my mia noi!!!

I was talking about me, i cant have a 18yo coyote dancer without paying. I don't look bad but those girls are way out of my league. So I would pay for their youth and company and they would not love me but love my money. I would not want a relation like that because its not really a relation.

Why cant we talk about your age and will they delete your posts ? No idea why that would be. If your not paying then your not paying. Its hard to set a line but those who are paying for girls to stay with them usually know that this is the case deep inside but don't want to admit it to themselves.

But your not paying and i believe it why lie on a forum.

[chiangmaikelly]

Chiangmai - Sorry, I cannot reply directly to your post (too many quotes or something), but -

NO! She is not paying him in the sense we are talking about on this thread.

My understanding is that paying someone implies that one partner has the money, whilst the other is paid an amount each month.

I understand what you are saying. I am suggesting that it is the same thing when people of different amounts of wealth share. I am calling it sharing and you are calling it giving an allowance. The result is that money flows from the one who has the most to the one who has the least. In my daughter's case she is providing unlimited allowance in the case you are suggesting it is limited by a certain amount per month.

The only difference I can see is the one giving the allowance is cheaper than the one sharing a bank account. From the normal Thai womans standpoint sharing a joint account would be the quicker method of getting all the cash, if that was her intention.

Precisely. Which is why the 'suspect' partner is paid... Something you rarely see in normal Western couples.

Well I guess and I suspect that most of the men posting on this forum make more and contribute more than their wives where ever they might live. Honest, I have never had a wife who made more than 10% of my income. No problem really I have a bunch of children. I didn't expect them to work. They raised our children; I worked. I gave them an allowance or whatever you want to call it for clothes, household things and lunch out with the girls. I am used to paying cash to a wife. I am used to the wife supplying all of the things that I need and in most cases are worth a lot more than money could buy.

[chiangmaikelly]

That is not fair nor is it nice or true. You are implying that I pay for an 18 year old coyote dancer when I stated my wife has two more degrees than I do. Lets assume I have one degree that means wife has three and no way she could get that at 18. I never said I was paying my wife! Where do you get off saying I am? My wife pays more into my relastionship than I as do 99% of the women in Thailand. That's what I said. Read the darn post. You can't admit that you are normal? No better no worse than anyone else. Everybody is just like you. Men don't pay more than women in a relationship in Thailand. It is in your head. Just remember not everything that is important can be bought. It probably seems like it is now because you equate your self worth in terms of money and your wife is paying for you but trust me as you get older you will see more and clearer.

I never said you had an 18yo coyote dancer, i said if i wanted one I would have to pay her. But i am suggesting there is a big age difference between you and your wife. You said you will be 100 in 30 years. So i assume your 70. I also assume you pay a lot and she gives you sex back .. at least that is what i read from the yoga part. Sound like a rental agreement to me.

But if your not giving a salary or paying of her family or something then ill take back my words.

When you reply to me mentioning an 18 year coyote dancer I think it is safe to assume you are not really talking about you but whatever..... No I don't pay her a salary, for gosh sake she is a graduate engineer doing quite well. I don't pay her family anything. Dad is dead, sister is a government official, brother an architect. Mom travels, has fun and forgets to call daughters or answer the phone for days on end. Daughters get upset at mom. I'm sure you know the drill. My wife wants sex more than I do. I'm 70 for gosh sakes. But we won't go there or they will delete my post. I have thought about giving her money not to have sex actually but so far have not. After all we are talking about my wife here not my mia noi!!!

I was talking about me, i cant have a 18yo coyote dancer without paying. I don't look bad but those girls are way out of my league. So I would pay for their youth and company and they would not love me but love my money. I would not want a relation like that because its not really a relation.

Why cant we talk about your age and will they delete your posts ? No idea why that would be. If your not paying then your not paying. Its hard to set a line but those who are paying for girls to stay with them usually know that this is the case deep inside but don't want to admit it to themselves.

But your not paying and i believe it why lie on a forum.

My wife is 30 years my junior. But you are calling her a girl. She is 40, not really a girl anymore. You can talk about my age but not about sex at my age. Upsets some folks. And you are really confused about the paying thing. In most of the world men still make a lot more money than women. Men pay. Women provide things money can't buy. That's life.

[ttthailand]

It's not a matter of helping out the Gf and giving her some money to stay home and keep you company. The problem starts when the amount you have to give is much more then they really require or could make if they were working ( not as bar girl). They will never be happy and will always be looking for a higher bidder. If they worked in a gogo bar and was a hot girl they were making 50 to 100K a month....they will want that amount. If you have to pay something near that so they have to stay with you they are not really you gf and you are not their bf...you are their sponsor or john or what ever you want to call it but Not BoyFriend.

[chiangmaikelly]

It's not a matter of helping out the Gf and giving her some money to stay home and keep you company. The problem starts when the amount you have to give is much more then they really require or could make if they were working ( not as bar girl). They will never be happy and will always be looking for a higher bidder. If they worked in a gogo bar and was a hot girl they were making 50 to 100K a month....they will want that amount. If you have to pay something near that so they have to stay with you they are not really you gf and you are not their bf...you are their sponsor or john or what ever you want to call it but Not BoyFriend.

So lets look at the above post. How many go go girls are there in Thailand earning 100,000 baht per month? 50 at the outside 100. How many single male tourists and INTERNET Romeos? 10 million? So how many guys have the opportunity to hook up with those 100 gold go go dancers? What percent? Do you good Thai Visa folks think this is a normal occurrence? There are 24,000 killed by lightening strikes per year. How many Brits marry go go dancers per year? I'm just saying....

[F1fanatic]

OK (apologies Lovelomsak for previously going off-topic), to get back on topic - shortly after moving here my next door neighbour told me how her husband had sent her the money to buy him a new scooter (obviously he was already sending her money for all the expenses each month).

She won the lottery and used the money to buy a scooter, putting the money he'd sent in her bank account.

This is her story, not mine - I say this as it made no sense to me, why not use his money for the scooter and put your winnings in your bank account??

But she told me 'cos she was proud of what she'd done and thought I'd agree ...

Needless to say, I tried to avoid her like the plague after that.

[siampreggers]

My wife of 5 years is pregnant, I rather her stay at home, snooze, eat and relax than continue to work and contribute to the household finances.

When we have our child I will prefer her to stay at home and stay with the child and take care of our house than go out to work to contribute to the household finances.

She also has a stay at home business which is now on the backburner so she can relax fully.

There's no 'monthly salary'. When she needs something I buy it. When we go shopping I pay. As I'm at work all day I return to a clean house with everything washed and cleaned and a nice dinner cooked.

To compare to the West. I probably couldn't afford to fully support a household and pregnant wife comfortably so she'd have to continue working throughout her pregnancy and the child's first years. And both of us would also have to dedicate more time to household chores.

I think the first way is better.

Why don't you share your finances, rather than paying for anything your wife needs?

My wife set up her business a few months before she fell pregnant. Most of her savings were used in that. I rather her rest and relax now than focus and work on it.

I rather her keep the rest and watch it grow just in case something happens to me/her/us.

Far better that you accept that your wife and yourself are having a child - you both prefer her to stay at home - therefore you are not paying for anything.

She is just buying what she needs from your shared resources.

I don't fully understand what you mean tbh. But from what I gather, I can't really see how that is far better.

Are you saying that as we both prefer her to relax at home (me more than her, she'd be just as happy to continue working on her business) that she should be using money from her savings, or sell parts of her business to fund her pregnancy at home even though I make enough for us to live comfortably the way we are?

Sounds a bit cold and callous to be honest. 'You're not making any money like this, start selling your business and reducing your savings even though I've more than enough income for you to relax at home while pregnant with our child'.

If that's what you mean.