More Ups Than Downs Surviving In Isaan

[Jezz]

Being married to a Thai from an Isaan farming family has many upsides. It also has a few downsides. For example, the language barrier. Try as I might over 7 years, my grasp of speaking Thai is limited to a collection of a few words and phrases. My ability to understand what they're talking about is approaching zero. All credit to my wife, who spoke hardly any English when we met. I was earning then and sent her to language school for 2 or 3 months and over the years her English has become extremely passable – which makes my attempts in reverse look quite sad. But on the downside of this, she finds it hard to explain what might be happening on a day-to-day basis; like family weddings, funerals and the like.

Take the past few days for example. I reckon there have been two deaths, one funeral and three weddings in the family. As the 'chauffeur', I suddenly get faced with, “ Papa, you ready? We go now.”

“Go where?” I say.

“ To house where brother-in-law of sister my auntie – I think – die.”

“Oh? Why you not tell me before? I not shave or shower yet.”

And so on and so on. Not for everyone, but sure is one hell of a difference to what I would be up to as a poor, lonely old pensioner in the UK.

[Huayrat]

And i thought i was the only one

[aussieruss]

Hi all in the last 15 years I to have been the taxi for every marriage funeral trip to the market all with a minute notice but the best one was years ago I woke up still drunk from night before wife sez we go to temple and gives me the car keys I wasn't thinking straight weget in the car me wife fil nefhew we leave I drive to the local temple not this one other one I ask where we going get mama some tablet so I start to drive and Ikeep driving after 5hours I stopped we ask someone where is the temple wife tells me 2km well after 1km we ran into a police road block they stop us and see the falang with no passport no wallet no money and the bib made us stand in the sun for a hour because my fil wouldn't give them tea money my wife finely got 1000baht from him gave to the bib well we drove that 1 more km got the special budda tablets then drove 5hr home all in a days fun in the Los PS never leave home with out your wallet and Id reg Russell

Senbutt from my GT-I9100T using Thaivisa Connect App

[cardholder]

The best language skills in the world (yours or hers) will still not enable a Thai to plan beyond the next meal.

[Bosse137]

cardholder,you took the words out of my mouth... My "wife" of 20 years and me can talk in 2-3 different languages to (yes,"to",not "with" ) each others,but still lots of surprises and missunderstandings most every day!But we have learned to live with it,especially since most everything works out well...Another thing is,that she use to talk to me from another room.Nowadays I use to murmur something in respons and do not care about what it was she wanted to communicate.Seems to work;sometimes she actually goes to where I am and tell me again.Just a tip to others ...

[jellykookabanj]

And i thought i was the only one

Me too....but the two things I have learnt is 1)( that when my thai wife says 5 minutes....it could be up to 6 weeks before she actually turns up or is ready to go out and 2) I have to be a mind reader because she doesn't tell me something but swears blind that she did some time before. Yes I KNOW it could be me going senile but I still have a high IQ and a bloody good memory, so surely not me going doolally

[thrilled]

_{Welcome to the jungle.Never A dull moment.}

[jombom]

My experience of Isaan is that they mostly speak Lao,so the OP learning Thai is never going to understand them. Strange that he hasn't figured this out, and his wife never told him.

[Lickey]

First thing to do is get your Mrs to learn to drive, pass the test [easy] and if you dont trust her in your million bht motor, get her a cheap motor, then she is independant, its a great way of getting a days peace and quiet,

And dont bother too much about learning the lanuage, they dont want us to know what they are talking about anyway,

[kalasin]

My experience of Isaan is that they mostly speak Lao,so the OP learning Thai is never going to understand them. Strange that he hasn't figured this out, and his wife never told him.

Maybe she did, but he didn't understand.

[Scully]

You're wife calls you "Papa"?

[Jezz]

You're wife calls you "Papa"?

Sure! Or 'Pa'. Quite a respectful way of addressing a husband of older years - especially when the young sons are around.

[Jezz]

My experience of Isaan is that they mostly speak Lao,so the OP learning Thai is never going to understand them. Strange that he hasn't figured this out, and his wife never told him.

Ah! Thanks. That's where I've been going wrong. But seriously, you overlook the fact that Lao-speaking Isaan folk are readily understood all over Thailand, and have little problem with the main Thai language. Maybe that's why there are more Thai language schools than Lao language schools.

[jaideeguy]

When I first met my wife in Surin, and I was eager to learn to communicate with the natives.....she was teaching me many of the common words and it wasn't until months later that I learned it was Khmer that she was teaching me. Fat lot of good that does for me up in CM. That's when i just gave up learning to ever speak Thai and realised that Khmer is a much easier language to learn for a tone deaf old fart, whose memory is failing.

[xen]

I can relate to your story Jezz . I find often it is not what they tell you but the one important ommission that makes all the difference in communications with Thai Family.

[Naam]

You're wife calls you "Papa"?

Sure! Or 'Pa'. Quite a respectful way of addressing a husband of older years - especially when the young sons are around.

not only in Thailand but a number of other countries too.

[Patriot]

First thing to do is get your Mrs to learn to drive, pass the test [easy] and if you dont trust her in your million bht motor, get her a cheap motor, then she is independant, its a great way of getting a days peace and quiet,

And dont bother too much about learning the lanuage, they dont want us to know what they are talking about anyway,

Spot on .. exactly what my reply was to be!!

[Scully]

You're wife calls you "Papa"?

Sure! Or 'Pa'. Quite a respectful way of addressing a husband of older years - especially when the young sons are around.

I wasn't having a go its just I have not heard it being said to husbands.

I am not 40 yet so please forgive me as I am still learning.

[Jezz]

I am not 40 yet so please forgive me as I am still learning.

You are forgiven, young man!

[TommoPhysicist]

You need to train your darling not to surprise you.

Arrange your calendar at least one week in advance.

Any item she doesn't inform you of, one week in advance, will then be discovered to clash with an important meeting of yours.

(Immigration/bank manager/hospital/dentist/expats club meeting, etc)

You and your wallet can't go with her, bad luck darling, you should have told me earlier.

You should also teach her not to call you Papa, deeply disrespectful when used between sexual partners.

Papa is reserved for non-sexual relationships with men of an older generation.

Edited August 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Jezz]

Re: # 20 TommoPhysicist.

Train her? Whoof, whoof! Down girl! Come off it, train a baby maybe. What right have we farangs got to attempt to train the locals. Help with teaching is a different matter.

As for arranging my calendar – what calendar? Stopped using them.

My wallet? She's welcome to it any time. There's not much in there!

And about calling me 'Papa' or 'Pa'. You'll find it's nothing to do with sexual or non-sexual relationships. Just a nice local way of addressing a husband of older years. Check out other comments above on this issue. Bless you for bothering.

[bobo42]

You should also teach her not to call you Papa, deeply disrespectful when used between sexual partners.

555! Wow, how repressed are you?! I'm not that much older than my wife - but I don't care if she wants to call me papa whenever she feels like it! Loosen up a bit and live a little.

[Jezz]

You should also teach her not to call you Papa, deeply disrespectful when used between sexual partners.

555! Wow, how repressed are you?! I'm not that much older than my wife - but I don't care if she wants to call me papa whenever she feels like it! Loosen up a bit and live a little.

And just for a bit of sickly fun, here's a quote from what I believe is an American website.

“I call my boyfriend Papa and he calls me Mama. I love it! Its very endearing and it makes me feel needed.”

Well, I did warn you! Don't believe me? Here's the link:

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveDtl/20272

[GarryP]

You need to train your darling not to surprise you.

Arrange your calendar at least one week in advance.

Any item she doesn't inform you of, one week in advance, will then be discovered to clash with an important meeting of yours.

(Immigration/bank manager/hospital/dentist/expats club meeting, etc)

You and your wallet can't go with her, bad luck darling, you should have told me earlier.

You should also teach her not to call you Papa, deeply disrespectful when used between sexual partners.

Papa is reserved for non-sexual relationships with men of an older generation.

I had never thought about that before but it does sound somewhat incestuous.

[jamescollister]

You're wife calls you "Papa"?

Sure! Or 'Pa'. Quite a respectful way of addressing a husband of older years - especially when the young sons are around.

I wasn't having a go its just I have not heard it being said to husbands.

I am not 40 yet so please forgive me as I am still learning.

Been married 10 years and have 2 kids, don't remember when, a year or so ago, wife stopped saying Jim and calls me dad, same as the kids.

She can call me anything as long as she has not forgotten the beer. Jim

[Litlos]

I recently spent a week in Isaan (Roi Et area) as opposed to Bangkok. The TGF whom I communicate with reasonably well in BKK changes as we approach Khorat. All of a sudden we are in Isaan full on mode, and I could not understand a word they said.

Thai, English or Laos. No problem is part of the cultural divide. A bit similar to how I sort of look and and taste Isaan food and drop back to something I know. Lets face it NASA does not need to be going to Mars to investigate alien worlds Isaan is a good start and a lot closer. Or try Bangladesh for the hard one.

Cheers

[Scully]

You're wife calls you "Papa"?

Sure! Or 'Pa'. Quite a respectful way of addressing a husband of older years - especially when the young sons are around.

I wasn't having a go its just I have not heard it being said to husbands.

I am not 40 yet so please forgive me as I am still learning.

Been married 10 years and have 2 kids, don't remember when, a year or so ago, wife stopped saying Jim and calls me dad, same as the kids.

She can call me anything as long as she has not forgotten the beer. Jim

I can understand it in front of kids as it teaches the correct way to address you, much like a mother will say khrap to a young son.

My own mother would call my father" dad" in our presence so now I have thought about it, its not strange at all.

Maybe not in the bedroom though.

[Morakot]

your darling not to surprise you.

Arrange your calendar at least one week in advance.

This might not work for the OP. It might cause bewilderment, as to what a calendar has to do with the matter. Calendars, in this part of the country, are very important to determine the seasons. Whether it's the rainy, hot or cold season might however be seen as irrelevant to the described situation.

Edited August 30, 2012 by Morakot

[transam]

You need to train your darling not to surprise you.

Arrange your calendar at least one week in advance.

Any item she doesn't inform you of, one week in advance, will then be discovered to clash with an important meeting of yours.

(Immigration/bank manager/hospital/dentist/expats club meeting, etc)

You and your wallet can't go with her, bad luck darling, you should have told me earlier.

You should also teach her not to call you Papa, deeply disrespectful when used between sexual partners.

Papa is reserved for non-sexual relationships with men of an older generation.

Agree, l am in Isaan and the few times l have come across the Papa thing is when a guy looks old and his mrs doesn't . Seems to me that it's for the natives to think the old guy is a carer for the young native. If my mrs referred to me that way l would be a bit pissed off. I prefer darling, which is the norm (I think).

[Morakot]

I prefer darling, which is the norm (I think).

Yes, if you're British or from some parts in North America.

Edited August 30, 2012 by Morakot