Please & Thankyou

[Uma~~]

The Thai's seem a very polite race, to us and also to each other, but they rarely seem to say please or thankyou. It's no big deal but I'm curious as to why the majority have not learned these two vary basic manners when they do in fact mean to be polite.

It had already been established elsewhere on this site that by calling their peers observational nicknames as 'fat' or 'small' they are merely stating a fact to which is not offensive in their culture, but despite the wai's and the khraps and kas, whenever we would say please or thankyou (which even undesirable louts and motorbike poseurs are capable) they say "give one for me" or "one more" which I experience all the time when eating fruit for example or pouring a drink.

I politely explain that 'one more' is gramatically incorrect unless asking for a second or more slive of pineapple, cigarette whatever and for the first time yesterday I taught a Thai friend of mine 'please' and 'thankyou' to which she listened but seemed somewhat baffled!

There seems to be no Thai word for please and thankyou though ka and khrap are not direct equivalents they seem to just be polite 'endings' to any spoken phrase or sentence.

Bless em.

[Tywais]

There seems to be no Thai word for please and thankyou though ka and khrap are not direct equivalents they seem to just be polite 'endings' to any spoken phrase or sentence.

Bless em.

I'm sure you must know that there are words for that in Thai and just expressing exasperation.

Thank you: ขอบคุณ kòp koon

Please: โปรด bpròde (help; assist)

กรุณา gà-róo-naa (please; kindly)

However, what I see is the higher educated seem to be more prone to use the terms then the less educated. Perhaps due to more exposure to the Western culture.

[Abandon]

give her 20 000 baht for her sick buffalo and you will hear a thank you.

[Uma~~]

However, what I see is the higher educated seem to be more prone to use the terms then the less educated. Perhaps due to more exposure to the Western culture.

Sure, especially in Bangkok where there are Thai's who speak near perfect English, some of them even say cheers and thanks. It is more here in the south where I have noticed the lack of manners, though like I said It's not intentional.

But is it right of me to point it out to them?

[simon43]

I had this issue with my Thai wife. When she spoke Thai she would use 'kor' etc and so I understood that she was being polite. But if she asked in English she would say 'give it to me' or 'give me some water'. After I explained to her that this sounded too abrupt, she started to use 'please'. It might seem a very small thing to Thai people, but on the ears of a 'farnag' it makes so much difference! I presume that the relevance of 'please' is simply not taught to Thai people...

[Tywais]

However, what I see is the higher educated seem to be more prone to use the terms then the less educated. Perhaps due to more exposure to the Western culture.

But is it right of me to point it out to them?

I would have to say no because you are trying to impress your culture, mannerisms on them. Also the issue of saving face will be an issue, correcting a Thai regardless of the good intensions can be taken wrongly. The approach would be to make it appear to be a learning process for you and ask them why they don't use the terms or when it would be appropriate. This way they actually can gain face (tahm nah) by helping the ignorant farang out.

[BambinA]

but they rarely seem to say please or thankyou.

from tone , body language and "ka /krab" words can imply to be "please /thank you"

example

Chauy yib num hai keaw neung na ka

ช่วยหยิบน้ำให้แก้วหนึ่งนะค่ะ

even no exacly "please" word in this Thai sentence, but when translate in eng , it will be ..

"please give me a glass of water"

after someone give me a glass of water, i node my head, and smile (it means Thank you..even i dont say the word"thank you") , ( but use for people who is younger than me)

[Uma~~]

I would have to say no because you are trying to impress your culture, mannerisms on them.

Are you sure? Because they are speaking in English anyway which is not their culture, when I speak what little Thai I do I say 'ka' and I would hope that they would point out to me any cultural blunders that I made, which generally they do.

The approach would be to make it appear to be a learning process for you and ask them why they don't use the terms or when it would be appropriate.

I agree.

[Tywais]

I would have to say no because you are trying to impress your culture, mannerisms on them.

Are you sure? Because they are speaking in English anyway which is not their culture, when I speak what little Thai I do I say 'ka' and I would hope that they would point out to me any cultural blunders that I made, which generally they do.

The approach would be to make it appear to be a learning process for you and ask them why they don't use the terms or when it would be appropriate.

I agree.

I apologize. I started to edit my last post because I realized you may meant them speaking English and not using the terms. In that case, most likely just don't have a grasp of the English language and its' nuances. Even in this case though a subtle approach is best.

Edited January 28, 2006 by tywais

[BKK90210]

The Thai's seem a very polite race, to us and also to each other, but they rarely seem to say please or thankyou. It's no big deal but I'm curious as to why the majority have not learned these two vary basic manners when they do in fact mean to be polite....

.....There seems to be no Thai word for please and thankyou though ka and khrap are not direct equivalents they seem to just be polite 'endings' to any spoken phrase or sentence.

When first learning Thai, it can seem as if the Thais don't care for much politeness. The words a Thai dictionary would translate as 'please' (such as ga-ru-na) are rarely heard in normal speech, while the 'softer' phrasing sometimes used in English to be polite is also normally dispensed with (e.g. where an English speaker might say 'I would like to have...please', a Thai would simply say ao, meaning 'I want', instead).

This is somewhat deceptive though. Thai uses a complex system which ensures that just the right amount of politeness can be used in any situation, mainly done through a variety of 'particles' that are added on to the end of sentences (such as “ka” or Krap”)

Along with the huge range of pronouns that have to be used appropriately, another difficulty is the fact that where in English there might be just one word for something, Thai will have a significant array of words of varying politeness. If you wanted to translate the word 'eat' into Thai, for instance, you would have a choice of using:

•kin (everyday word, slightly informal)

•tahn (everyday word, slightly formal)

•rap-pra-tahn (very formal)

•dairk (very informal, often offensive)

•chan (when talking about monks)

•savoey (when talking about the King and the royal family)

Edited January 28, 2006 by BKK90210

[BambinA]

even pharse " na...na ka... na" can be PLEASE also

example

tywais bpai doo nang gub bambi na...na ka...na

= tywais,please go ot see a movie with me

[Tywais]

even pharse " na...na ka... na" can be PLEASE also

example

tywais bpai doo nang gub bambi na...na ka...na

= tywais,please go ot see a movie with me

Anytime Bambi.

[Savage]

There seems to be no Thai word for please and thankyou though ka and khrap are not direct equivalents they seem to just be polite 'endings' to any spoken phrase or sentence.

Bless em.

I'm sure you must know that there are words for that in Thai and just expressing exasperation.

Thank you: ?????? kòp koon

Please: ???? bpròde (help; assist)

????? gà-róo-naa (please; kindly)

However, what I see is the higher educated seem to be more prone to use the terms then the less educated. Perhaps due to more exposure to the Western culture.

The term bprode and ga roo na are used in written Thai, I can't recall them being spoken.

[Tywais]

The term bprode and ga roo na are used in written Thai, I can't recall them being spoken.

I have not heard ga roo na in spoken Thai either, however bprode I have but usually in the form of ได้โปรด dâai bpròde and again not often.

[sbk]

Uma is in Samui and at least local residents (and by that I mean true Samui people --Koh Phangan and Tao included, not transplants from elsewhere in the country) very rarely speak "polite" thai with each other. certainly Thank you is used in Thai but beyond that not much. Why would you speak polite formal Thai with someone you have known your entire life (which was the situation on these islands until the fairly recent past)? Southerners speak Thai short and sweet --making it difficult for non-locals to follow.

So, what Uma could be seeing is a combination of poor English skills plus the native lean towards bluntness in speaking.

[godforhire]

I've noticed that at one of the places I frequently eat, I'm the only one who say "thank you" when I'm served or when I leave. The Thai people who come in or order take-away food just order and hand over money and never say anything upon being served or leaving. It did strike me as odd but the proprietors don't seem to mind. Maybe a "thank you" is implied by the fact that you come there to eat in the first place?

[bluezephyr]

I have always held doors open and said please thankyou,in the uk.

The amount of funny looks i got from thai people when i entered or left a shop and held the door open.just doesnt seem done out there.

The Thai lady friend i met out there,thought it quite strange i always offered to carry her bags for her.

[leftcross]

Too true about the door openings and saying please and thank you. But these are our cultural differences and we should maintain then. However, sometimes it is fun to a) shut a door in a Thai person's face B ) Barge straight onto the Sky train before anyone has a chance to get off. Remember folks, you are not being rude ... you are just being Thai

Edited January 28, 2006 by leftcross

[seville]

Putting noi or na at the end of a sentence is meant to soften a request to be polite and kop kun as we all know is Thank you.

I try and remeber all these things when I go to BKK and Government offices and putting Ka at the end of my sentences as living on Phagnan, as SBK has stated, everything is very direct and frankly among friends when you put the kop/ka at the end of something you say, it's either because you are pleading or jokeing around with someone.

I always get busted by the Thai people from BKK that live on the island for useing Southern Thai. They think it's crude and are very quick to try and correct the poor Farang girl picking up bad habits.

When I first came to Thailand I said thank you all the time and then realized that this is simply not done here when you are the customer.

[Abandon]

yes - I used to thank the song taew driver until a freind asked me why I did that. He said it was as if the driver had given me a free ride or something, and I should not say it.

I also observe that Thai's do not round off the conversation with a distinct ending or goodbye. They kind of just stop talking and move away.

[stumonster]

The only time I have heard kgar-oona spoken in thai has been the recorded message on an aeroplane.

I use it to be funny sometimes as it make a thai do a double take.

on a related issue , what words can be used for excuse me in thai?

[leftcross]

ko toht kap or kor tang noy kap

[meadish_sweetball]

Most Thais would not:

1. Thank the waiter/waitress (except perhaps at the very end when money has been exchanged and you take your leave. Generally only in better establishments though, not in the noodle shop on the corner.).

2. As Pandit said, they would not thank the driver unless he has somehow gone out of his way to do something for you.

3. Say 'excuse me' (khaw thawd kha/khrap) before passing (unless they clearly bump into you, then they may say it afterwards [or 'eg-cue me']). If you are sitting down they will however lower their head/body when passing, which is a sign of politeness.

The rules are different for different regions too. Very rarely do you hear polite particles from men in the North when they speak amongst themselves. Women use them (jao) to a greater extent, but not with their family as a rule, unless it is an older respected relative.

Central Thai is seen as a more polite alternative, and so you will be taught polite Central Thai if you go to study Thai in a formal setting. This is not the same Thai as spoken in the street, however, it is what you should use for formal settings though. In most cases it is wiser to use English with officials than a local dialect.

[Uma~~]

When a petrol attendant fills up my bike he or she thanks me when I hand over the money, I assume because I have given them my business. I must remember not to thank them in return but a little nod and a 'ka' just pops out automatically.

[Ulysses G.]

In general, I try to do the same acts of politeness in Thai that I would do in English. If I am overly poilte to a prostitute, a pimp, a waitress or a tuk-tuk driver, so be it.

It is obvious that I am a farang and I cetainly don't understand Thai manners very well, and, to be honest, I'm not sure we fit in there anyway.

If we stick to what we understand, I think that they can at least see that we are trying to be polite, even if we appear a little silly.

[meadish_sweetball]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with answering a thank you, in fact there is nothing wrong with being overpolite either, you may just look a little silly. But better to look silly than to look rude. Until you get the right feel, better err on the side of politeness.

You may notice that on the flip side, many Thais see Westerners as impolite too, since many of us are more prone to talk loudly, gesticulate and get hot under the collar... not take off our shoes, not bow our heads when passing people who sit, etc.

I still hold up doors for people, and I make sure they notice it too. This way perhaps I can sow a little seed in some people's minds that it would be nice if more people did the same... or they just think I am strange. Never mind, it doesnt hurt.

[Tarragona]

but they rarely seem to say please or thankyou.

from tone , body language and "ka /krab" words can imply to be "please /thank you"

example

Chauy yib num hai keaw neung na ka

ช่วยหยิบน้ำให้แก้วหนึ่งนะค่ะ

even no exacly "please" word in this Thai sentence, but when translate in eng , it will be ..

"please give me a glass of water"

after someone give me a glass of water, i node my head, and smile (it means Thank you..even i dont say the word"thank you") , ( but use for people who is younger than me)

I think the use of ช่วย in a Thai request is often worth a 'please' in an English translation?

Edited January 29, 2006 by Tarragona

[Steve2UK]

Interesting topic.....

To my shame, I was completely unaware of a Thai formula for "please" - but then I'm still very much a novice in learning/speaking Thai. I agree with the point mentioned that it's usually much more often expressed through body language (smile, slight bow of the head - maybe also the look of appreciation in one's eyes).

I know I tend to use "khawp khun maak khrap" way too often. For me it's a reflection of my Brit upbringing in that I would tend to use "thanks a lot" or "thanks very much" rather than just "thanks" or "thank you" - which I mostly regard as a bit curt/perfunctory. Plainly wrong to apply it in Thailand.

Conversely, I compare it with what I see 99% of the time in American movies, TV series etc. Almost never do we see someone finish a phone call with a "goodbye" - the actor we're watching just seems to say his last sentence and hang up. For years it has formed an impression in my mind that they're inexcusably rude (OK, putting it a bit strongly there - let's say abrupt). But, I guess it's just another cultural difference.

Similarly, it appears that in a bar/diner situation the typical American customer will just say "Give me XYZ" or "I'll take XYZ" - whereas the typical Brit will probably say "Can I have XYZ?" (probably with a "please"); well, of course he can have it - that's what the bar/diner is there for.........

In Thailand, as others have already said, much better to err on the side of excessive politeness with one's choice of phrasing, smiles, body language etc. After all, it's not like we're auditioning for the role of a genuine Thai in a movie...........