Friendship.

[MiG16]

I thInk bina was being too kind

Let me phrase that more clearly - if you haven't got a constructive suggestion to add, do not post. Sarcasm may have a place on occasions. This is not it. In fact they come across as being unhelpful, almost to the point of being nasty. So I suggest you stop.

Cheers

[CanadianChicken]

come on all.... the reason thaivisa is here is to help facilitate meeting people. it is in place of the community newspapers and bulletin boards that most people i know would use when moving to a new area/country -- what's wrong with asking....

lets say its a troll; even so, maybe some shyer people are reading and want to know... i know i did when i moved over seas and didnt know where to start, was alone except for (ex) husband, out in the boonies (now suburban sprawl)... and no internet. we used english language news papers, ex pat hangouts (coffee houses, here.), checked out university bulletin boards, events, museum/art openings; (i did dog shows actually)...

a word to the OP: meeting some folks in a bar is NOT the way. better thru sports clubs/art clubs/book clubs/ that sort of thing; and friendships take time. also, people that travel around alot, make good friends slower; meeting up for a fishing day and some beers even if its 'old gits' can be good, get some good insights to life, the universe , and everything...

my daughter was in the usa for six months and had a difficult time making good friends and the ones she made werent mainstream americans but immigrants or Native americans (arizona)... relax, develop hobbies, do your own thing, people will find u also.

bina

israel

and if the thread stays nasty it will go byebye...

Thanks!

You could say im just a little nervous right now and the anxiety of the culture shock is really getting too me.

[bina]

well CC , i dont live in thailand, but have a thai husband, and the problem of friendships is that, a problem. for him a serious one; slowly we are meeting other thai guys that are living here and not jsut temporary; not everyone from the same country likes everyone...

like i said, my eldest duaghter, english speaker but israeli born was in the states in a community college for specific courses (native american studies) and the only people that invited her to coffee etc were the hispanic and native american (indian) students. she is still in contact with them. on weekends she went to local jewish /israeli familes after refusing invites the first weeks ... but found she was missing the 'togetherness' that we have here. its easier when u are younger. hang otu in a decent park and do some sports workouts; theres all sorts of ways; but mostly, everything takes time. if u play an instrument, go to music stores to see what they have there, may be some thai musicians hanging; if u are in to animals, well cant help u with that in bangkok... as for work, u need visa work permit etc... same as volunteering but can be done...

buy food from the same stalls daily, u will fast find people that will speak with you, explain stuff around u... its a matter of patience and personality...

learn thai as soon as possible; learn to like thai food, eat spicey, ask questions, be curious.... golden oppurtunity to be in a different country, use it.and dont neglect your overseas friends, cause frankly, they will stil lbe your really good friends in times of trouble or severe culture shock. and culture shock goes in waves of ups and downs. just surf them, they improve with time.

bina

[arthurwait]

Thanks for the constructive comments. I guess it is time I went exploring, I really want see the palace.

You wouldn't if you'd seen us play lately.

[StreetCowboy]

Treating this as a man's problem, assuming you want suggestions that you can then ridicule in order to consolidate your own plan:

Get your hair cut and get a real job.

Get into a team sport. I'd recommend rugby, personally, as a particularly good sport for establishing friendships if you are quite open-minded about getting a belt in the chops from time to time.

I've never established any real friendships in a pub, except once, where the life and soul of the party, oddly enough, was a teetotaller

treating it as a woman's problem (unlikely, given the predeliction for mauy thai) and assuming you want emotional support

It's difficult. Don't worry about it. These things take time. Don't let things get on top of you. Cheer up. Did you watch Andy Murray winning the US Open. He's a handsome chap.

SC

[elliss]

what a sad story , may i suggest next time your in the bar try ,

ringing the bell ,a few times.

farangs , will soon find you .

[Tywais]

I thInk bina was being too kind

Reading some of the sophomoric comments I have to agree.

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

dam_n boy, you trying to hard.

You are an 18yo, pretty boy, boxer...according to you.

Hanging out in random bars with crusty old guys is no way to spend time in your new city.

18 and finished school limits your future - go back to school - thats where all the other 18 year olds are at.

What secondary english options are there near bangkok? And im not trying hard, at all. You obviously dont like who i am which i retort in saying dont message in my threads.

This is best forum you will find for secondary English!

[cgphuket]

If your new to Thailand I suggest you try to learn the langauge. If you enroll in a language course you may meet other newcomers who have more ambition than the average barstool crowd and who are also looking for friends... Also, look into volunteer work at the mercy center or one of the orphanages. Here you will meet more friendly and extraverted people.

[DaBloodyMess]

Seems appropriate.

[ThaidDown]

Just to say that at 18 years of age you are not allowed to frequent bars and purchase alcoholic drinks, so hope you stick to pepsi or similar.

Not being pedantic, just pointing out.

[Dorothy1985]

Oh pleeease, let the boy drink and be mary.

Thailand seems to be a country where you develop more problems than you can solve.

Consider the gay scene, they tend to be a lot more down to earth and liberal.

But do not trust anyone, trust me, especially well meaning expats.

[samran]

Dorothy, indeed, if he does drink in those bars one day he may indeed decide to 'be mary' 555

[geriatrickid]

I thInk bina was being too kind

Reading some of the sophomoric comments I have to agree.

I had to laugh at bina. You can tell she's someone's mom (or else related to my sister )

And now I'm going to be the doddering granny as my companion labels me. I am more concerned about your statement;

Im sort of soing a part time thing to get a little side money

Please be careful. Thailand has this thing about work permits and they can be unpredictable on the enforcement.

I suggest you talk the issue over with your 'rents and see about making sure you are legal. It won't take much, especially if they have jobs. They probably have a connection to a lawyer that can make it all legal. The last thing you need is a hassle on your visa, which is what can arise if you are caught working illegally. And yes, web programming is a hot button issue in Thailand as their are alot of underemployed IT people in circulation.

BTW, I still think you should cruise on up to some of the university campuses and walk around. You will bump into some very friendly, normal people. Believe it or not, Thai university students often demonstrate all the wonderful qualities of Thailand; Generosity, friendliness, hospitality, humour and kindness. (Although be careful with some of the science people, they can be downright serious. I know cuz I'm one and I can be a grouch.)

[Payboy]

Look on the bright side. It's a good thing you're born a boy. At least you can play with yourself.

Being female doesn't preclude it either.

I suspect however, its easier to get others to play with your toys if you're female.

[Trembly]

Day two I work out, so muay thai and then go out to the bars.

If I wasn't in school, I'd be skateboarding at Esplanade

Anyone I met who admitted to either of these two hobbies, I would go out of my way to avoid, they are usually aggressive and looking for trouble. It may not be true, but it would be a reason to avoid you, and I'm guessing many other people think the same way as me.

<deleted>? Skateboarding is aggressive? Like, no.

It is soothing, relaxing and a way to get yourself some really cool wounds that make girls swoon.

BTW, are you aware that competent skateboarders tend to be quick witted, with good reflexes and sharpspatial abilities? On the contrary, a good skateboarder is often more intellectually capable than the typical couch potao for the simple reason that all circuits have to be on go. Have a look at the typical Thai kid skateboarding. He usually is nicely dressed, has some money, smiles alot, has friends and will help friends and is not threatening in the least. Quite different than the marauding gang of technical students on motorbiles driving about on their quest to kill.

Same in England. The lads who don't skate are usually the ones to avoid after dark. The ones who do skate are often very approachable and are basically just 'normal people'.

[BookMan]

Look on the bright side. It's a good thing you're born a boy. At least you can play with yourself.

Being female doesn't preclude it either.

I suspect however, its easier to get others to play with your toys if you're female.

I can't keep my hands off!

[StreetCowboy]

Day two I work out, so muay thai and then go out to the bars.

If I wasn't in school, I'd be skateboarding at Esplanade

Anyone I met who admitted to either of these two hobbies, I would go out of my way to avoid, they are usually aggressive and looking for trouble. It may not be true, but it would be a reason to avoid you, and I'm guessing many other people think the same way as me.

<deleted>? Skateboarding is aggressive? Like, no.

It is soothing, relaxing and a way to get yourself some really cool wounds that make girls swoon.

BTW, are you aware that competent skateboarders tend to be quick witted, with good reflexes and sharpspatial abilities? On the contrary, a good skateboarder is often more intellectually capable than the typical couch potao for the simple reason that all circuits have to be on go. Have a look at the typical Thai kid skateboarding. He usually is nicely dressed, has some money, smiles alot, has friends and will help friends and is not threatening in the least. Quite different than the marauding gang of technical students on motorbiles driving about on their quest to kill.

Same in England. The lads who don't skate are usually the ones to avoid after dark. The ones who do skate are often very approachable and are basically just 'normal people'.

The ones I try to avoid are the ones that come out with a foul expletive whenever anyone voices an opinion they don't like.

SC

[OxfordWill]

As you can see Thaivisa has more than it's fair share of bitter, uncivilised, impolite detritus. Send me a PM with some basic info about yourself and I'd be happy to meet you for a beer sometime (I'm 28, and I first arrived here when I was 18 without any friends).

About 6 years ago I went along to one of the first ever Thaivisa meetups, where I was in a minority due to my age. I met a handful of really nice people, but even face to face some of the guys there had a few choice (drunken) things to say to me about being young- apparently something of a crime. It is always fun (although like shooting fish in a barrel) to embarrass such people publicly, because they certainly never expect you to be more mature than they are and it's usually easy to show that you are.

Now that I've lived here longer than most old guys I meet, speak the language better than most of them, etc, it no longer bothers me. Very occasionally, you can meet real gentlemen, older characters who have interesting experience and stories to tell, who recognise their seniority, don't feel threatened by you and recognise that they too were once young. Rather than embarrass themselves by trying to drunkenly belittle or better you (which is what is happening with most of the replies to your thread here, and you will experience that in bangkok pubs regularly) such guys are a joy to meet and I always have huge respect for them. Unfortunately you are unlikely to meet anyone like that either online or in bars. Very rare.

[Swiss1960]

Swiss1960 (potentially a wife beater)

definitely (not) interested how you come to that conclusion

[chrisinth]

As you can see Thaivisa has more than it's fair share of bitter, uncivilised, impolite detritus. Send me a PM with some basic info about yourself and I'd be happy to meet you for a beer sometime (I'm 28, and I first arrived here when I was 18 without any friends).

About 6 years ago I went along to one of the first ever Thaivisa meetups, where I was in a minority due to my age. I met a handful of really nice people, but even face to face some of the guys there had a few choice (drunken) things to say to me about being young- apparently something of a crime. It is always fun (although like shooting fish in a barrel) to embarrass such people publicly, because they certainly never expect you to be more mature than they are and it's usually easy to show that you are.

Now that I've lived here longer than most old guys I meet, speak the language better than most of them, etc, it no longer bothers me. Very occasionally, you can meet real gentlemen, older characters who have interesting experience and stories to tell, who recognise their seniority, don't feel threatened by you and recognise that they too were once young. Rather than embarrass themselves by trying to drunkenly belittle or better you (which is what is happening with most of the replies to your thread here, and you will experience that in bangkok pubs regularly) such guys are a joy to meet and I always have huge respect for them. Unfortunately you are unlikely to meet anyone like that either online or in bars. Very rare.

Please, all of you, grow up a little.

Your Honour, it was a serious statement about selecting where you drink. I don't think ignoring this advice is going to do the lad any good if he is asked for his passport when he is somewhere where he shouldn't be.

I'm rather surprised with that comment from someone that has been here for 10 years.

[DLock]

"DLock (when you were a kid, things were different)"

What was different about going to school, skateboarding, learning Thai, dancing, exploring the city or taking photographs?...which was my advice to CC.

You may be making assumptions about my age that are unfounded...so rather than "trying to drunkenly belittle or better" me, you should go back and reread you very own email, and then apologize.

[tinfoilhat]

come on all.... the reason thaivisa is here is to help facilitate meeting people. it is in place of the community newspapers and bulletin boards that most people i know would use when moving to a new area/country -- what's wrong with asking....

lets say its a troll; even so, maybe some shyer people are reading and want to know... i know i did when i moved over seas and didnt know where to start, was alone except for (ex) husband, out in the boonies (now suburban sprawl)... and no internet. we used english language news papers, ex pat hangouts (coffee houses, here.), checked out university bulletin boards, events, museum/art openings; (i did dog shows actually)...

a word to the OP: meeting some folks in a bar is NOT the way. better thru sports clubs/art clubs/book clubs/ that sort of thing; and friendships take time. also, people that travel around alot, make good friends slower; meeting up for a fishing day and some beers even if its 'old gits' can be good, get some good insights to life, the universe , and everything...

my daughter was in the usa for six months and had a difficult time making good friends and the ones she made werent mainstream americans but immigrants or Native americans (arizona)... relax, develop hobbies, do your own thing, people will find u also.

bina

israel

and if the thread stays nasty it will go byebye...

sorry, but i have never once considered thai visa a place to meet people, quite the contrary.

A news source, a place to seek information, sure.

It is even a source of entertainment, which people on here provide to no end if you haven't already read their tawdry opinions on the same basic topic time and time again.

[TwoDogz]

come on all.... the reason thaivisa is here is to help facilitate meeting people. it is in place of the community newspapers and bulletin boards that most people i know would use when moving to a new area/country -- what's wrong with asking....

lets say its a troll; even so, maybe some shyer people are reading and want to know... i know i did when i moved over seas and didnt know where to start, was alone except for (ex) husband, out in the boonies (now suburban sprawl)... and no internet. we used english language news papers, ex pat hangouts (coffee houses, here.), checked out university bulletin boards, events, museum/art openings; (i did dog shows actually)...

a word to the OP: meeting some folks in a bar is NOT the way. better thru sports clubs/art clubs/book clubs/ that sort of thing; and friendships take time. also, people that travel around alot, make good friends slower; meeting up for a fishing day and some beers even if its 'old gits' can be good, get some good insights to life, the universe , and everything...

my daughter was in the usa for six months and had a difficult time making good friends and the ones she made werent mainstream americans but immigrants or Native americans (arizona)... relax, develop hobbies, do your own thing, people will find u also.

bina

israel

and if the thread stays nasty it will go byebye...

sorry, but i have never once considered thai visa a place to meet people, quite the contrary.

A news source, a place to seek information, sure.

It is even a source of entertainment, which people on here provide to no end if you haven't already read their tawdry opinions on the same basic topic time and time again.

People on the internet are weird.

But...I have met some very nice weird people.

[Plucky]

Get your 18 year old tight little body to an American prison. From what I've seen on documentaries you'll make plenty of friends there who'll give you more than you ever expected!

[Dorothy1985]

Get your 18 year old tight little body to an American prison. From what I've seen on documentaries you'll make plenty of friends there who'll give you more than you ever expected!

Is that speaking from experience Pimping?

[ggold]

Look on the bright side. It's a good thing you're born a boy. At least you can play with yourself.

And girls don't? Lol

Sent from my GT-P6200 using Thaivisa Connect App

[mrtoad]

3 pages of drivel, which could have been summed up in one post. Follow Samrans advice and join one of the sports clubs.

[submaniac]

3 pages of drivel, which could have been summed up in one post. Follow Samrans advice and join one of the sports clubs.

OP, I would throw something else out, if looking for friends, try the local forums, and not the general forum. General forum is for English speakers gathered all over Thailand and the world to come together and then bicker and insult each other.

The local forums, or the specialized forums are a better place to meet people. Consider that if Thaivisa is the ocean, the smaller subsections are the harbors with calmer walters.

For example, my interest is in motorcycles and on the motorcycle forum we're generally very nice to each other, someone organizes group rides or something. There's a sports section, golf section, scuba diving section, etc. It's easier to meet people with your same interests there. Similarly, if you are going to live in Bangkok, then go on the Bangkok forum as everyone there is local. A few years ago the Bangkok forum would meet up and go out (I am not in Bangkok anymore so I don't really know what the situation is).

Kind regards

@pimping--shut up with your stupid comments.

[kennedy]

I'm 64 and I'll admit that I envy you.I would change places with you in a heart beat.You have a good chance of making something out of your time here if you play it right.Now for my suggestions.Try to meet some Thais that are seriously trying to learn English and western culture.They love to learn and practice.Learn to speak slow and not run your words together, you will just confuse them.You can learn alot from each other.The same goes for older expats.Throw a sir at them for respect.Talk a little louder, they may have a hard time understanding you.You seem to be a good young man and I wish you well.Everyone has to start somewhere.Good luck. PS A girlfriend wouldn' hurt.