You Might Be A Thai Redneck If.....

[richard10365]

Today, I was trying to explain to my wife about Jeff Foxworthy's jokes "You might be a redneck

if....".

It took a while for her to understand his humor until I started to apply it to Thai life.

With that in mind, I thought it might be fun to see how many different Thai redneck jokes

ThaiVisa members could come up with.

This is all for fun and should not be taken seriously. I love Thailand and the Thai people. This is just another way to express my love for their culture.

It should enjoyed the same way American rednecks (which I am) enjoy about their own culture.

To get it started, I'll start it off with....

"You might be a Thai redneck if...the whiskey you drink comes in a clear plastic bottle with a

lable that says drinking water on the outside of it."

Anyone else have any ideas for Thai redneck jokes?

[richard10365]

Here's another.

You might be a Thai redneck if your idea of a family car is a 125cc motorcycle with babyseat in front of the driver with 4 people being the most you can drive with.

Another,....

You might be a Thai redneck if your school bus is a converted pick-up truck with 30 to 40 kids riding in the back of it.

[chownah]

You might be a Thai redneck if you use plara as cologne.

[Thaiquila]

You might be a Thai redneck if you add your public nose pickings to your wife's green curry paste.

You might be a Thai redneck if you host a special barbeque party every time you run over a soi dog with your motorcye.

Edited January 29, 2006 by Thaiquila

[greenwanderer108]

You might be a 'baan nork' if going 'muang nork' implies a trip to Bangkok

(kon คน) baan nork บ้านนอก = Thai redneck, the sticks, [someone] from the sticks (as in you are so baan nork)

muang nork เมืองนอก = distant city, country, land (usually referring to overseas)

[greenwanderer108]

.....'international' and 'modern' translate to Tata Young and Bird Tongchai.

[skylar]

.....'international' and 'modern' translate to Tata Young and Bird Tongchai.

That is way harsh.

[Puwa]

You might be....if your sister ended up with some old, fat, ruddy, beer-guzzling, ill-mannered, half-educated farang who takes every opportunity to disparage thailand and thai people, whine about things he doesn't understand, mangle the language, and pretend to be living happily in a state of imagined superiority.

does that count?

[Old Croc]

Post #9. I think I might have won the sweep!

[richard10365]

You might be a Thai redneck if your work involves wearing a t-shirt on your head.

[Gazza]

You're an Old Thai Redneck if you can quickly reel off 101 uses for a length of bamboo or a Pakhama.

You're a Young Thai Redneck when you think that a Man Utd David Beckham football shirt is a Traditional Thai garment.

You're a poor Thai Redneck when every meal or drink contains or originates from rice.

You might be a Thai redneck if you pull out the hairs from your chin one by one with a pair of tweezers instead of shaving.

Or when you use two 1baht coins as tweezers.

[sabaijai]

,,, if your favourite band is Carabao.

[Jersey_UK]

If you try and buy Jet Fighters...........by bartering chickens

[cdnvic]

You own a petrol station that meters out fuel in 100 Pipers bottles.

You fixed the light on your Motobike and now you feel like a sellout.

You can't sleep because that chicken in the next room just won't shut up.

You carefully avoid the dog sleeping in the middle of the street but drive away when you hit a person.

Your pub consists of two folding chairs on the sidewalk and a bucket of ice.

cv

[Ladphrao]

Love the thread and always loved the American redneck jokes (but a few come a little too close for comofrt),

You might be a Thai redneck if you spent more on fircrackers than on books last year.

[richard10365]

You might be a Thai redneck if the first thing you do to a new motorcycle is remove the mirrors (cuz it looks cool), change the spokes, and add the noisiest muffler you can find.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Post #9. I think I might have won the sweep!

I second that

[Head Snake]

if you spend all day asking farangs if they want a body massage, never specifying it would be from a lady.

if you ask farang if they want a taxi; but, no taxi is visible for 100 of yards.

if you still sit on a seat on the BTS with plenty of aunties and pregnant women forced to stand near you.

you like to drink your beer sitting in a group and you like to fight with the same group against any single person who pisses you off.

if you go to KFC for the air con.

if you ride the BTS for the air con.

[cdnvic]

if you go to KFC for the air con.

if you ride the BTS for the air con.

Hey...... I do that!

cv

[Neeranam]

,,, if your favourite band is Carabao.

How about when you start walking to the restaurant with a bottle of lao Kao hidden in a Johnny Walker Black carton.

[Totster]

if you still sit on a seat on the BTS with plenty of aunties and pregnant women forced to stand near you.

One thing I have noticed though is that children are always offered seats when the trains are full

totster

[dr_Pat_Pong]

if you still sit on a seat on the BTS with plenty of aunties and pregnant women forced to stand near you.

One thing I have noticed though is that children are always offered seats when the trains are full

totster

and why indeed not ?

[Head Snake]

You might be an international redneck if you view Totster's avatar and think... 1) really, who hasn't kissed or slept with Madonna?? 2) It sure looks like Britney wants more Madonna tongue

You might be a thai redneck if you serve your daughter's visiting falang boyfriend larb moo with one bright lime green tomatoe caterpillar that is still alive and moving. (true story)

[raro]

You might be an international redneck if you view Totster's avatar and think... 1) really, who hasn't kissed or slept with Madonna?? 2) It sure looks like Britney wants more Madonna tongue

You might be a thai redneck if you serve your daughter's visiting falang boyfriend larb moo with one bright lime green tomatoe caterpillar that is still alive and moving. (true story)

Does it count in my favour that I didn't recognize both chicks in Totster's avatar?

[Totster]

You might be an international redneck if you view Totster's avatar and think... 1) really, who hasn't kissed or slept with Madonna?? 2) It sure looks like Britney wants more Madonna tongue

You might be a thai redneck if you serve your daughter's visiting falang boyfriend larb moo with one bright lime green tomatoe caterpillar that is still alive and moving. (true story)

Does it count in my favour that I didn't recognize both chicks in Totster's avatar?

Ah... never mind.. nor did Yorky..

totster

[raro]

You might be an international redneck if you view Totster's avatar and think... 1) really, who hasn't kissed or slept with Madonna?? 2) It sure looks like Britney wants more Madonna tongue

You might be a thai redneck if you serve your daughter's visiting falang boyfriend larb moo with one bright lime green tomatoe caterpillar that is still alive and moving. (true story)

Does it count in my favour that I didn't recognize both chicks in Totster's avatar?

Ah... never mind.. nor did Yorky..

totster

...off topic, I know...but can I conclude that Yorki has some taste in music?

[Totster]

You might be an international redneck if you view Totster's avatar and think... 1) really, who hasn't kissed or slept with Madonna?? 2) It sure looks like Britney wants more Madonna tongue

You might be a thai redneck if you serve your daughter's visiting falang boyfriend larb moo with one bright lime green tomatoe caterpillar that is still alive and moving. (true story)

Does it count in my favour that I didn't recognize both chicks in Totster's avatar?

Ah... never mind.. nor did Yorky..

totster

...off topic, I know...but can I conclude that Yorki has some taste in music?

I'm certain he does... but I think you are missing the point ! The avatar is in no way a celebration of their music .... .

totster

ps. (although I am a fan of Madonna)

[Head Snake]

You might be a thai redneck if you've EVER been hit with a flying banana .......either in a bar or..... at home.

You might be a thai redneck if you've ever been threatened with penal dislodgement ; but....., you do what you do anyway.

You might be a thai redneck if you've ever had a discussion about being a katoey..... as a career option.

You might be a thai redneck if you find yourself sleeping next to a water buffalo.... and an empty bottle of SangSom

Edited February 2, 2006 by Head Snake

[raro]

You might be an international redneck if you view Totster's avatar and think... 1) really, who hasn't kissed or slept with Madonna?? 2) It sure looks like Britney wants more Madonna tongue

You might be a thai redneck if you serve your daughter's visiting falang boyfriend larb moo with one bright lime green tomatoe caterpillar that is still alive and moving. (true story)

Does it count in my favour that I didn't recognize both chicks in Totster's avatar?

Ah... never mind.. nor did Yorky..

totster

...off topic, I know...but can I conclude that Yorki has some taste in music?

I'm certain he does... but I think you are missing the point ! The avatar is in no way a celebration of their music .... .

totster

ps. (although I am a fan of Madonna)

so there is still hope...

[bjsanook]

You might be a Thai redneck if you drive around on a motorcycle with a long stick looking for something to eat.

If you load your truck with relatives, drive 3 hours at 15kph to a waterfall, and don't get in it, just eat kao neow and drink whisky.

If you catch geckos, skin them, dry them and send them to Taiwan.

BJ