You might be a Thai redneck if you can be found sleeping in a hammock outside your house more than three afternoons a week,

If you think a roadtrip to Bangkok...... to attend a peaceful demonstration..... just so you can meet women,......you might be a Thai redneck.

If you think a roadtrip to Bangkok...... to attend a peaceful demonstration..... just so you can meet women,......

Sounds like a good plan though !

totster

..........If your idea of vehicle air bag safety is having your lady sat on the front of your bike

You might be bah-noak if....

you have late night cravings for kaw-neo moo ping or som tom

your booze of choice is lao kao or on special occasions 100 Pipers

food tastes better when you eat on the floor sitting on newspapers

every 7-11 or Big C bag is saved for a garbage bag or other uses

you brush your teeth with salt

you or a relative sleeps outside with the buffalo to protect against thieves

you consider owning buffalo a good investment

you never have to buy rice

you have to walk more than 100 meters from your house to get any mobile phone reception

you've spent more than four hours on a straw mat drinking whisky flavored water

instead of saying 'ah-rai-nah' when you don't hear something you shout 'HUH!?'

you have a relative who works as a motorbike taxi.

you watch movies outdoors at night on a temporary screen

you don't use toilet paper

you wash your clothes in the bathtub

you think wearing heavy gold bracelets or necklaces is fashionable

you like to snack on fried grasshoppers and other bugs

Sorry for this CV, felt these needed a bit of editing...

You buy your fuel in 100 Pipers bottles.

You can't sleep because there is no chicken in the next room that just won't shut up.

Foreign food is Khao Jaow

Your house has no furniture with legs

Nearest Songtaew route is a days walk away

Favourite aphrodisiac is snake bile

Your children are ordained as novices because a) nearest school is too far away and you couldn't afford the costs anyway.

Your twelve year old daughter has never worn shoes

You can push your hand right through your house wall.

You wash your face and brush teeth upstream from the clothes wash but downstream from a latrine.

Your cooker consists of rocks around glowing coals - and your home has no chimney

You fill your Lao bottles from a large earthenwate jar, buried in the ground.

What is Air Con?

What is electricity?

Running water comes down the hill and makes restful sounds as it trickles over rocks

You will give your vote for 50 Baht, (or a promise of a village loan/grant after the election.)

I love this country and could go on - and on - and on but perhaps I should stop here before I write something I might later regret. (Will probably be unable to refrain from adding more later anyway.)

...if you consider the 43 kmph uphill speed of your pineapple loaden pick-up as just enough to overtake that lumber truck speeding at 42.5 kmph. Needless to say that you cannot see oncoming traffic...but hey, yesterday it worked fine, so why not today?

..........If your idea of vehicle air bag safety is having your lady sat on the front of your bike

that was very very funny

You might be....if your sister ended up with some old, fat, ruddy, beer-guzzling, ill-mannered, half-educated farang who takes every opportunity to disparage thailand and thai people, whine about things he doesn't understand, mangle the language, and pretend to be living happily in a state of imagined superiority.

does that count?

Nice one.

you travel with babies under two years old on your motorcycle (extra points if you are wearing a helmet while the baby is unprotected)

You Might Be A Thai Redneck If.....

The one and ONLY bottle of medicine you have at home cures every single illness known to man...!!!

You might be a Thai Redneck if...

You're idea of a fancy drink is 100 pipers.

You might be a Thai Redneck if your entire salad bowl collection has 'Kwong Hung Seng Ltd., Part.' written on the side!

You Might Be A Thai Redneck If.....

Whenever you have to go anywhere, EVERYONE has to go with you!!!

You're a Thai Redneck when your whole family sits on the floor eating a meal.......

......on the 3rd floor at the shopping mall.

Or you sit cross legged eating at KFC or Mac D's.

You know you're a Thai Redneck...

...if your idea of lawn ornaments are the empty plastic bags blown off from the highway.

...if you haven't done the dishes in hot water for the last five years.

...if your idea of a traffic jam is two motorbikes waiting for the buffalo to finish his business in the middle of the dirt road.

...if you can eat any dish consisting of 50% hot chili peppers without heart failure.

...if your only morning alarm clock is the consistent 4:30am mosquito attack.

...if you prefer the "Burning Garbage" aroma as your choice of spray-can air freshener.

...if the back end and the front end of your pickup truck are held together by scrap wood.

...if your idea of "dining out" is moving from the inside floor to a grass mat outside the front door.

...if you finally start laughing in all the right places when the movie theater shows a Thai comedy.

...if you start complaining that your Singha Beer doesn't have enough ice in it.

...if your only capital investment is your five daughers you hope to get married against a handsome dowry...

...if you buy your Thai whisky in 10 baht shots from the local mini mart

You might be....if your sister ended up with some old, fat, ruddy, beer-guzzling, ill-mannered, half-educated farang who takes every opportunity to disparage thailand and thai people, whine about things he doesn't understand, mangle the language, and pretend to be living happily in a state of imagined superiority.

does that count?

I would like to use this post as my 1000 th ! Sorry I did not have a speech ready ( something like , I would like to thank all the little people and trolls that got me here . Without you , all of these totally useless posts of mine ...bla bla bla ) Ahh , so where to put such an important landmark ?

The visa forum ? Nah , I went through all that to the point where I do not want to even recall the tourture . So this seems like the perfect place .

Thank you Puwa for putting things in perspective .

You might be bah-noak if....

you have late night cravings for kaw-neo moo ping or som tom

your booze of choice is lao kao or on special occasions 100 Pipers

food tastes better when you eat on the floor sitting on newspapers

every 7-11 or Big C bag is saved for a garbage bag or other uses

you brush your teeth with salt

you or a relative sleeps outside with the buffalo to protect against thieves

you consider owning buffalo a good investment

you never have to buy rice

you have to walk more than 100 meters from your house to get any mobile phone reception

you've spent more than four hours on a straw mat drinking whisky flavored water

instead of saying 'ah-rai-nah' when you don't hear something you shout 'HUH!?'

you have a relative who works as a motorbike taxi.

you watch movies outdoors at night on a temporary screen

you don't use toilet paper

you wash your clothes in the bathtub

you think wearing heavy gold bracelets or necklaces is fashionable

you like to snack on fried grasshoppers and other bugs

That's me!

9 out of 10...

You chew betel until your teeth rot away and you have red spittle stains on all your clothes

...not to mention the puke-stains from last night's Lao-Khao binge.

You might be....if your sister ended up with some old, fat, ruddy, beer-guzzling, ill-mannered, half-educated farang who takes every opportunity to disparage thailand and thai people, whine about things he doesn't understand, mangle the language, and pretend to be living happily in a state of imagined superiority.

does that count?

I would like to use this post as my 1000 th ! Sorry I did not have a speech ready ( something like , I would like to thank all the little people and trolls that got me here . Without you , all of these totally useless posts of mine ...bla bla bla ) Ahh , so where to put such an important landmark ?

The visa forum ? Nah , I went through all that to the point where I do not want to even recall the tourture . So this seems like the perfect place .

Thank you Puwa for putting things in perspective .

Congratulations

... if you sit on your motorcycle to pluck your eyebrows because it has the only mirror in the house....

I must be a Thai redneck!

You might be....if your sister ended up with some old, fat, ruddy, beer-guzzling, ill-mannered, half-educated farang who takes every opportunity to disparage thailand and thai people, whine about things he doesn't understand, mangle the language, and pretend to be living happily in a state of imagined superiority.

does that count?

I would like to use this post as my 1000 th ! Sorry I did not have a speech ready ( something like , I would like to thank all the little people and trolls that got me here . Without you , all of these totally useless posts of mine ...bla bla bla ) Ahh , so where to put such an important landmark ?

The visa forum ? Nah , I went through all that to the point where I do not want to even recall the tourture . So this seems like the perfect place .

Thank you Puwa for putting things in perspective .

Congratulations

Thanks Doc. , Nice to see somebody cares

You might be....if your sister ended up with some old, fat, ruddy, beer-guzzling, ill-mannered, half-educated farang who takes every opportunity to disparage thailand and thai people, whine about things he doesn't understand, mangle the language, and pretend to be living happily in a state of imagined superiority.

does that count?

I would like to use this post as my 1000 th ! Sorry I did not have a speech ready ( something like , I would like to thank all the little people and trolls that got me here . Without you , all of these totally useless posts of mine ...bla bla bla ) Ahh , so where to put such an important landmark ?

The visa forum ? Nah , I went through all that to the point where I do not want to even recall the tourture . So this seems like the perfect place .

Thank you Puwa for putting things in perspective .

Congratulations

Thanks Doc. , Nice to see somebody cares

Awwwwww we all care really, congrats matey

You might be a Thai redneck if you wear your motorci helmet backwards and unlatched and right before you crash into the semi that you have been following 8 inches behind for the last 20 mins. and your last words are, "I'm looking forward to my next life."