How Did You Meet Your Wife / Girlfriend

[StreetCowboy]

I suppose we all have our own ideas of what's normal, depending on the circles we move in.

It seems unfortunate that so many people display contempt for anything outside what they consider 'normal', rather than acknowledging their lack of experience and knowledge on which this prejudice is based. We should perhaps also acknowledge that what is normal within our own experience may be but a small backwater within the greater society; particularly in Thailand, a society with which many of us have very limited familiarity (and within which our Thai friends have relatively limited social mobility and therefore relatively narrow experience).

SC

[TommoPhysicist]

It seems unfortunate that so many people display contempt for anything outside what they consider 'normal',

I think the word you are looking for is 'disbelief' rather than 'contempt' in this instance.

[nietzche]

You always post the same rubbish in response when someone else has identified they are with a respectable or well-to-do lady.

Is it really hard for you to comprehend that for some dating a lady from a respectable socio-economic background in Thailand is the norm?

Only the young guys claiming wealthy Chinese, hi-so, virgins.

Their parents wouldn't even let them talk to a foreign white guy ....... immediate dis-inheritance.

Maybe Bill Gates would be acceptable as a son-in-law ........ but not a pot-less TEFL teacher.

(which are the usual suspects claiming these relationships ........ er-hm Stickman)

I know many guys happily married to middle class Thai ladies, government workers, nurses, teachers, etc. But Jeez, Wealthy Thai-Chinese parents are the most conservative control freaks in the world who generally rule and micro-manage every aspect of their children's lives, and white foreigners are not welcome as potential spouses.

Again with the Hi-So Chinese theme?

As you know from my previous posts, my GF back in the states was Chinese-American.

My grandparents immigrated from Europe to America, therefore, I have a lot in common with people who have similar family backgrounds to myself (i.e. hardworking, more strict parents).

90% of Thai Chinese (just like Chinese-American) are middle class hardworking and tend to be more financially independent. Not Hi-So rich and lazy as you continually like to portray.

[samran]

Plenty do Tommo. The difference is they are of similar age and have a better seduction technique than your " What's your age and weight" ?

Do you believe in the tooth fairy as well?

Tommo, just because you can't make the First XI and swim in the deep end doesn't mean (plenty of) others can't.

[arthurwait]

Plenty do Tommo. The difference is they are of similar age and have a better seduction technique than your " What's your age and weight" ?

Do you believe in the tooth fairy as well?

Tommo, just because you can't make the First XI and swim in the deep end doesn't mean (plenty of) others can't.

[TommoPhysicist]

Tommo, just because you can't make the First XI and swim in the deep end doesn't mean (plenty of) others can't.

I'm probably one of the few that could, but don't let that stop you insulting me.

[arthurwait]

Tommo, just because you can't make the First XI and swim in the deep end doesn't mean (plenty of) others can't.

I'm probably one of the few that could, but don't let that stop you insulting me.

Are you still having to marry your wifes sister because they say so ?

[HannibalLecter]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

[TommoPhysicist]

Are you still having to marry your wifes sister because they say so ?

Delayed, but not gone away ...... not sure I could cope with the sexual demands of two wives, too old, after a hard day on the farm I'd rather sit down with a cup of warm cocoa, wearing comfy slippers and an evening posting on TV.

They're both constantly banging on about how nice it would be for them to both have babies at the same time ........... eek!

Edited October 7, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[nietzche]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

It's funny that you think a perfectly ordinary lifestyle is so fantastic that it must be a fabrication

Say's a lot about your situation here in Thailand

[kennedy]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

It's funny that you think a perfectly ordinary lifestyle is so fantastic that it must be a fabrication

Say's a lot about your situation here in Thailand

You are the most boring person I've heard in a long time. I frankly don't give a flying fk what you do.

[HannibalLecter]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

It's funny that you think a perfectly ordinary lifestyle is so fantastic that it must be a fabrication

Say's a lot about your situation here in Thailand

Sunday is family day, so far you've spent all Sunday defending your Chinese Thai family relationship on the internet to strangers. Say's a lot about your situation with that family.

[thehelmsman]

You always post the same rubbish in response when someone else has identified they are with a respectable or well-to-do lady.

Is it really hard for you to comprehend that for some dating a lady from a respectable socio-economic background in Thailand is the norm?

Only the young guys claiming wealthy Chinese, hi-so, virgins.

Their parents wouldn't even let them talk to a foreign white guy ....... immediate dis-inheritance.

Maybe Bill Gates would be acceptable as a son-in-law ........ but not a pot-less TEFL teacher.

(which are the usual suspects claiming these relationships ........ er-hm Stickman)

I know many guys happily married to middle class Thai ladies, government workers, nurses, teachers, etc. But Jeez, Wealthy Thai-Chinese parents are the most conservative control freaks in the world who generally rule and micro-manage every aspect of their children's lives, and white foreigners are not welcome as potential spouses.

Again with the Hi-So Chinese theme?

As you know from my previous posts, my GF back in the states was Chinese-American.

My grandparents immigrated from Europe to America, therefore, I have a lot in common with people who have similar family backgrounds to myself (i.e. hardworking, more strict parents).

90% of Thai Chinese (just like Chinese-American) are middle class hardworking and tend to be more financially independent. Not Hi-So rich and lazy as you continually like to portray.

I was born in Europe and raised in America - The hardworking part I know all too well but my parents were very lenient. Don't really understand the connection though.

[hotandhumid]

Don't be so nosey fella.

You are strange.

[nietzche]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

It's funny that you think a perfectly ordinary lifestyle is so fantastic that it must be a fabrication

Say's a lot about your situation here in Thailand

Sunday is family day, so far you've spent all Sunday defending your Chinese Thai family relationship on the internet to strangers. Say's a lot about your situation with that family.

Work from home (programmer). Also been talking on 2 other forums simultaneously since 11 O'clock (StackOverflow/Webhostingtalk).

It's called multitasking. Do you find that amazing also

[473geo]

I've read all the post on this thread and it has prompted me to say this:

My wife is beautiful,kind, considerate, a great mother for our children, and part of a genuine Thai family that I am proud of.....

With this knowledge, I make my decisions, only in the future will I know for sure if they were correct, in my life it has always been this way....but there is no fear....many times the metaphorical high wire and no safety net......life should be fun

I tend to revel in the moment, because happiness and longevity is not guaranteed in any situation

Good luck guys, especially to those in need of it who are suffocating in their trepidation trying to justify their caution by attempting to ridicule others

[HannibalLecter]

Work from home (programmer).

Is that what fleabayers call themselves now.

[Pulle]

I live on my wife's farm, it's in her name because it's her farm.

Jeez, why do you guys all marry women who own nothing, then buy them everything?

From all answers and discussions, this is really the naked truth!

[rics21]

My wife was working part time as a cashier when I first met her. She was in her final year @ Bangkok university, and we married one year after her graduation.

Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App

Edited October 7, 2012 by rics21

[hotandhumid]

I live on my wife's farm, it's in her name because it's her farm.

Jeez, why do you guys all marry women who own nothing, then buy them everything?

From all answers and discussions, this is really the naked truth!

So you are basically poncing a life from a Thai?

Well done.

[TommoPhysicist]

I live on my wife's farm, it's in her name because it's her farm.

Jeez, why do you guys all marry women who own nothing, then buy them everything?

From all answers and discussions, this is really the naked truth!

So you are basically poncing a life from a Thai?

Well done.

Farming is quite hard work, it didn't go too well when it was her alone.

Our marriage is more of a partnership, both business and pleasure.

The two of us, together, have a much better life than each of us, alone.

Edited October 7, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Mozambique]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

It's funny that you think a perfectly ordinary lifestyle is so fantastic that it must be a fabrication

Say's a lot about your situation here in Thailand

Sunday is family day, so far you've spent all Sunday defending your Chinese Thai family relationship on the internet to strangers. Say's a lot about your situation with that family.

Work from home (programmer). Also been talking on 2 other forums simultaneously since 11 O'clock (StackOverflow/Webhostingtalk).

It's called multitasking. Do you find that amazing also

What do you chat about on StackOverflow?

It's a superb site, but I've never used it for chat. I sometimes use Sitepoint, too.

[Mozambique]

It is not that hard really to claim one mingles with wealthy Chinese Thai families and are accepted when one is a nobody from nowheresville with a PhD in BS

and an internet connection.

It's funny that you think a perfectly ordinary lifestyle is so fantastic that it must be a fabrication

Say's a lot about your situation here in Thailand

Your problem is that you're arguing when you don't need to. You've already won; and the farang with their barmaid wives and shop assistant wives have already lost. Most of them have actually been lost for years.

[nietzche]

In response to Mozambique,

It's a Q&A site.

I try to answer as many questions as possible in my area. It's a great resource for developers (novice and advanced).

If I have time I try to troubleshoot other peoples code.

[HansVilder]

well i met my partner 8yrs ago in a sleezy bar in Chiang Mai.

Immediately saw that she was an angel fish in a turd bowl, so yanked her out of it pronto..

now we're happier than ever & everything is in her name.

Good luck for you and your wife, I hope you do not have big life insurance or your angel may turn to an angel of death just like another poor man that was shot a number of times not so long ago, set up by his wife and others,,,

everything in her name because it is her house and land (inherited from her pu yai ban father) car & bikes in her name purely for convenience.

we must be rare among farang/thai partnerships in that i, 34 when we met & 5 years her junior, virtually moved into a ready made life. No ''how can i stay in Thailand?", "buy house or rent? & how?" questions for me. I'm far from rich but earn a very modest income which we share. No life insurance policy & she knows it so don't worry wildorchid, being murdered by my wife for money is quite laughable (she'd be the first to tell you, what money? )

being murdered for leaving her behind (she hates it) when i go trekking/birdwatching for a couple of weeks at a time... well, that one has always worried me. (i occasionally bring her with me on treks, but like most Thai women, they don't deem walking through hot forests looking for snakes & rare birds much fun )

[chiangmaikelly]

I live on my wife's farm, it's in her name because it's her farm.

Jeez, why do you guys all marry women who own nothing, then buy them everything?

From all answers and discussions, this is really the naked truth!

So you are basically poncing a life from a Thai?

Well done.

ponce

Term originated in the UK and came to prominence in the 1960's, initially to describe a pimp.

[transam]

I live on my wife's farm, it's in her name because it's her farm.

Jeez, why do you guys all marry women who own nothing, then buy them everything?

From all answers and discussions, this is really the naked truth!

So you are basically poncing a life from a Thai?

Well done.

Don't tell me/us, your a pen pusher, a paper shuffler ? Yes/No.

[endure]

It's time to calm down now boys. Any more flames or snide remarks will get their poster a 3 day holiday. Promise.

If you can't be civil be quiet.

[NeverSure]

I am currently dating a normal Thai girl. She is a lawyer and her family are independently wealthy. It's going on 2 months now and there has been no sexual contact. (I am in my late 20's, she in her early 20's).

I've been out of circulation for over a decade, but I still remember second or third date having been the deadline for some action back in west. Unless you've got only one date in that 2 months, time to make the moves already. Time doesn't improve anything, especially if you happen to find out she's frigid.

True. Back in the U.S. usually after the 2nd or 3rd date somethings got to happen.

Her parents are Chinese (Thai born) and from what I know from her and her friends is that she had a pretty strict upbringing. From the way she talks and acts I don't doubt she's never had a boyfriend before.

I'm in no rush right now as I'm kind of enjoying just hanging out and taking things slow. I know for 100% that if I want I can take it to that next level, but that in itself has all kinds of serious connotations.

I know that if I was to make the relationship physical then I would be expected to lay the path for marriage, meet the parents, etc. Not ready for that right now. Also would not want to get it on with her knowing that she would expect all of the above. Not a very nice thing to do to a girl.

Even back in the U.S. as soon as you sleep with a girl everything becomes serious. Better not to cross that line until necessary.

I'm in no rush to do anything anyway.

I admire your wanting to treat the lady fairly.

Your experience in the US is different from mine. I find women in the US to be aggressive sexually - as much as men are and they will screw you just for the adventure. I do realize that the US culture varies greatly from region to region and from urban to rural areas so I can't say for sure about everywhere.

[payak]

I was visiting friends in thailand, my wife was introduced to me and we were friends only for several years.

we later got together, got married had children.