arthurwait Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws. Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning? Maybe one that's got back from visiting his in laws and maybe had a drink , but most of all is too worked up to sleep. Or like me, one with young kids/baby that don't sleep through the night and has a completely disturbed sleep pattern and post when there's no chance of getting back to sleep in the near future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottocus Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Does your wife have any photos of her parents at home? Invite them over, but make sure you put their pictures on the floor first (where they can see them) and maybe put some dirty socks on the pictures. See how they react. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurwait Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 (edited) When coming over here once I asked my wife what should I get your mum for a present. At some point she said a photo frame. After giving it to her she wrapped it up as carefully as possible and put it away. I asked my wife why and I was told that she thought it was too nice/expensive(it wasn't) to risk breaking it. I suspect it was because it wasn't to her rather old style taste. The frame was empty so no pictures of the kids or me so I suspect it's sadly different to your case. Thais from poor backgrounds who marry/are with a farang are often considered bargirls/boys by the other locals or most people, whether they were or not. That you paid for the parents house suggests she is from a poor background. Maybe they don't want the pictures up as it makes their daughter look like a bargirl to their friends and neighbours, but as they are living in a new house paid for by you I suspect most people think this anyway. So unless they are seriously stupid and think they are convincing other people they paid for it I doubt this is the case. That in my opinion may just leaves the case that they just don't like you (being called farang when you are part of the family suggests this) and you are nothing but an ATM to them. If this is the case don't bother waste your time with people this classless. Don't give them anymore money and just put up with it when you have to visit. The problem is kids look upto their grandparents and follow what they do. If this is their normal behaviour and respect for farangs then somehow you need to teach them what yai says isn't right. Edited October 6, 2012 by arthurwait 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacktrip Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 (edited) playing devils advocate: you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. Edited October 6, 2012 by jacktrip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I don't think the OP speaks Thai or lives in Thailand. Might be difficult. Hard to make an assessment of the situation without knowing all the facts. That sure is true. Give the kids to the grandparents for a couple of years. They will like them. Most grandparents do. Not sure how not knowing the facts turns into give away your children for several years. It's Thailand man. Get with the program. Grandparents raise the daughters kids. It's tradition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 playing devils advocate: you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. I don't think people who say, “playing devils advocate" are sincere. I think they don't have the balls to say what they mean. Am I alone in this or does anyone else feel this way. I have never liked anyone who ever said, “playing devils advocate.” No guts no glory type of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 playing devils advocate: you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. I don't think people who say, “playing devils advocate" are sincere. I think they don't have the balls to say what they mean. Am I alone in this or does anyone else feel this way. I have never liked anyone who ever said, “playing devils advocate.” No guts no glory type of people. You got any other totally irrelevant thing to bring up on this thread? After when people post and what people say...maybe ask some questions about hat- size or favorite color? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 playing devils advocate: you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. I don't think people who say, “playing devils advocate" are sincere. I think they don't have the balls to say what they mean. Am I alone in this or does anyone else feel this way. I have never liked anyone who ever said, “playing devils advocate.” No guts no glory type of people. You got any other totally irrelevant thing to bring up on this thread? After when people post and what people say...maybe ask some questions about hat- size or favorite color? Don't rush me.... I'm thinking.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Issam rider Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 playing devils advocate:you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. ouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Issam rider Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 My in-laws have my pictures all around the house ( they say it keeps the flies off the food ) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
osten Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 My 2 cents...this is NOT cultural thing. To me, it (along with calling their grandkids falang insted of their names) speaks leaps and bounds that are unfortunately obvious. Like a previous poster said, my Thai inlaws also have photos of us AND the kids all over their house. Just returned from a visit to the wifes parents house and i'm fuming.We gave them some framed pictures of their grandchildren and some family pics of us and our children together. So they could hang them up next to their other family pics.This was a few months ago when we stayed for the weekend, they ended up in the bottom of the wardrobe covered with various household items. I offered to hang them next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons on the wall in the main room as they are a similar size picture and frame, which they agreed to. We visited them this last weekend and guess what my kids pics are back in the bottom of a cupboard, my missus was shocked but kept quite. I feel hurt and insulted but kept quite. Is this a culture thing? Because the pics were placed next to the pics of the 3 eldest sons, i don't know! They are good quality portraits but the in-laws dont wish to have them on their walls which incidently i paid for along with the rest of the house. They call our children,their grand-children farang and not by their names. Are they taking the mick or have i blown this out of proportion? Letting off steam!!!! Sent from my HTC ChaCha A810e using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harryfrompattaya Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I think he want Baht not Pictures. No Culture Difference at all They just want all of your money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacktrip Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 playing devils advocate: you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. I don't think people who say, “playing devils advocate" are sincere. I think they don't have the balls to say what they mean. Am I alone in this or does anyone else feel this way. I have never liked anyone who ever said, “playing devils advocate.” No guts no glory type of people. you don't really know what the grandparents are thinking in this situation, so it's important to make that clear. its not about winning or losing with family, its more about compromise. same with relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Personally,I would be very offended,and I would tell my wife that there would not be any more money forthcoming,or any further visits (including the Grandchildren) until the Photos are put up. Then you will know if this is really a Cultural difference thing,or just a P**S take,on you. My guess is money will talk louder than Culture! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McMagus Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 playing devils advocate: you bought the place and now come over and tell them how to decorate it, whats next? such generosity will lead to power and control issues in even very wealthy families. it changes things. just thought id mention it since nobody brought it up. I don't think people who say, “playing devils advocate" are sincere. I think they don't have the balls to say what they mean. Am I alone in this or does anyone else feel this way. I have never liked anyone who ever said, “playing devils advocate.” No guts no glory type of people. You got any other totally irrelevant thing to bring up on this thread? After when people post and what people say...maybe ask some questions about hat- size or favorite color? Don't rush me.... I'm thinking.... Oh God, here we go again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McMagus Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I would be pissed off about the photos but absolutely incandescent regarding them calling the children 'falang' when they know their names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Personally,I would be very offended,and I would tell my wife that there would not be any more money forthcoming,or any further visits (including the Grandchildren) until the Photos are put up. Then you will know if this is really a Cultural difference thing,or just a P**S take,on you. My guess is money will talk louder than Culture! In other words, pay them to pretend to like you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 (edited) if they don't want the picture up, they don't want the pictures up. you cannot force them to display them or like you for that matter. I would not have pushed the issue in the first place, now you know what they really think of you. happy? Edited October 6, 2012 by tinfoilhat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Personally,I would be very offended,and I would tell my wife that there would not be any more money forthcoming,or any further visits (including the Grandchildren) until the Photos are put up. Then you will know if this is really a Cultural difference thing,or just a P**S take,on you. My guess is money will talk louder than Culture! In other words, pay them to pretend to like you. Or ! ''He who pays the Piper calls the tune" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giddyup Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 if they don't want the picture up, they don't want the pictures up. you cannot force them to display them or like you for that matter. I would not have pushed the issue in the first place, now you know what they really think of you. happy? If you've bought someone a house, the least they could do is pretend to like you. Height of bad manners in my book. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 (edited) The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws. Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning? are you kidding me? bedtime as an indicator of proper parenting? rather an arbitrary line to draw in the sand, dont you think? Edited October 6, 2012 by tinfoilhat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale Tudo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 They seem to hate you and shockingly have transfered that hatred on to your children as well. You have given them pictures of JUST the grandkids right? I can see if they hated just you not wanting the family picture up, but to do that with the grandkids pic is unbelievable. I've never heard of grandparents that didn't want their grandkids pictures up, even if they hate the father. Don't give them anything ever again. Turn your wife against them as well, shouldn't be hard since they seem to hate her children. Wow,what a constructive post,I take it that you're single? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws. Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning? are you kidding me? bedtime as an indicator of proper parenting? rather an arbitrary line to draw in the sand, dont you think? Getting home and taking care of the kids is part of being a parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giddyup Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws. Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning? are you kidding me? bedtime as an indicator of proper parenting? rather an arbitrary line to draw in the sand, dont you think? Getting home and taking care of the kids is part of being a parent. What makes you think he wasn't home at 3 am? Wouldn't he be using his home computer long after the kids are already asleep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws. Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning? are you kidding me? bedtime as an indicator of proper parenting? rather an arbitrary line to draw in the sand, dont you think? Getting home and taking care of the kids is part of being a parent. What makes you think he wasn't home at 3 am? Wouldn't he be using his home computer long after the kids are already asleep? Two different off topic topics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale Tudo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws. I'm relieved to hear there was a thought process going on, perhaps not a very sharp one, but brain activity of some fashion or another. This guy is a bit of a fool,he tried to take me to task the other day for not having posted many times on here.Equating that with time spent and local knowledge of Thailand and South-East Asia!<Facepalm smiley> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARISTIDE Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 my kids pics are back in the bottom of a cupboard, Is it Thai culture or They simply don't like you or your family. The brother came to my house try to intimidate or attempt to attack my wife with out provoked and my parent assumed I did something wrong and blame me for it. They can put my family picture in the rubbish bin it still make them a coward bully and I don't care if we are related as family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale Tudo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Maybe it's just me but I actually find it quite refreshing to discover that hideously rude and objectionable in-laws are NOT just a Western problem! I find it quite endearing that the Thai's are the same as everyone else the world over.Throw in a couple of hilarious stories of in-laws treating the naive signifant other blatantly as a walking ATM Kwai and it's all good! I'm giving a 9.5 out of 10 for nearly the perfect Thai Visa post,just the right amount of xenophobic and downright strange replies! As for the OP,I posted on my Facebook status the other day a quote from Jim Rohn,an American businessman : 'Either you run the day or the day runs you'! I'd suggest you replace 'the day',with 'life' or 'the in-laws' and take it from there! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale Tudo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 i would not stand for being called falang once your known and close in the family unit as you are.how do we do that? next time your standing in front of the pictures and they say falang, a firm 'thats jimmy' or if the problem persists a 'thats not a falang, thats jimmy' should do the trick. What if his name's not Jimmy? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vale Tudo Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Does your wife have any photos of her parents at home? Invite them over, but make sure you put their pictures on the floor first (where they can see them) and maybe put some dirty socks on the pictures. See how they react. Or get some of that novelty toilet paper printed up,with the in-laws picture on it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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