krisb Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 its all about scissor action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 yes sure, what happened more than 90 years ago might change my mind! I think the point was to help you become aware that your views on sexual morality are a product of your childhood social/cultural/religious programming rather than anything based on objective reality or "universal" ethics. BTW yes "farang" does apply to women and men equally, and yes most of the farang women I know are much less happy about the sexual-culture differences here than the guys. I suspect that's got more to do with practical and personal reasons than abstract ones of ethics and morality, as the sex-positive "cougar" types, especially the "Toms" I know, seem to like it just fine. Western women don't like it here because it's all turned on it's head.Asian girls chase the guys and Western women don't get a look in,it's down to jealousy! The Lonely Planet guide to Thailand even talks about it on the introduction page of stereotypes you'll see here.The bitter Farang woman is called the 'Golden Bowl' or something like that by the Thais apparently! When I first came to Thailand I met a nice French girl and spent two weeks with her. I suddenly realized there were all these mysterious beautiful Thai ladies around me. Why travel half the way around the world and not eat the local food Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cicinette Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 yes sure, what happened more than 90 years ago might change my mind! I think the point was to help you become aware that your views on sexual morality are a product of your childhood social/cultural/religious programming rather than anything based on objective reality or "universal" ethics. BTW yes "farang" does apply to women and men equally, and yes most of the farang women I know are much less happy about the sexual-culture differences here than the guys. I suspect that's got more to do with practical and personal reasons than abstract ones of ethics and morality, as the sex-positive "cougar" types, especially the "Toms" I know, seem to like it just fine. Western women don't like it here because it's all turned on it's head.Asian girls chase the guys and Western women don't get a look in,it's down to jealousy! The Lonely Planet guide to Thailand even talks about it on the introduction page of stereotypes you'll see here.The bitter Farang woman is called the 'Golden Bowl' or something like that by the Thais apparently! When I first came to Thailand I met a nice French girl and spent two weeks with her. I suddenly realized there were all these mysterious beautiful Thai ladies around me. Why travel half the way around the world and not eat the local food That's a good one Well, fried rice, fried noodle...boring...at one point you are dying for a good steak with french fries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cicinette Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 yes sure, what happened more than 90 years ago might change my mind! I think the point was to help you become aware that your views on sexual morality are a product of your childhood social/cultural/religious programming rather than anything based on objective reality or "universal" ethics. BTW yes "farang" does apply to women and men equally, and yes most of the farang women I know are much less happy about the sexual-culture differences here than the guys. I suspect that's got more to do with practical and personal reasons than abstract ones of ethics and morality, as the sex-positive "cougar" types, especially the "Toms" I know, seem to like it just fine. Western women don't like it here because it's all turned on it's head.Asian girls chase the guys and Western women don't get a look in,it's down to jealousy! The Lonely Planet guide to Thailand even talks about it on the introduction page of stereotypes you'll see here.The bitter Farang woman is called the 'Golden Bowl' or something like that by the Thais apparently! Yep, You got it right, we are jealous...because we don t see why so much attention for them, and so little for us .....you know, back home, we ve been asked to be smart, independant, funny, etc.....thais women just need to smile, so unfair;)...white men here can fall in love with women they cannot even talk to because of the language barrier, and to us (since I ve been talking to few farang women, I can say "us"), it is just not understandable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cicinette Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 IMO there's nothing wrong with any human being of whatever sex choosing to make money from their youth and beauty, as long as there isn't coercion or deception involved. Thais just define "prostitution" a lot more narrowly than Christianity-brainwashed farang do. I've lived here long enough that I've come around to the Thai cultural point of view - expecting to get sex without paying for it is the ultimate expression of disrespect to women. The more you pay for it the more respect you're showing the woman. Of course giving more than "just money" is even better if the recipient is open to your gifts and in a position to benefit long-term, and that's when the more rewarding relationships emerge from the purely transactional ones. But trying to get beautiful young girls here to go to bed with you for free when you're a fat balding old guy is pretty much a non-starter, and when they're so many willing providers and such arrangements are sanctioned by the society we're guests of, please don't try to claim it's us abusing them. Well the fat bolding old guy can try but I know I shouldn t have started to write on that forum, most of you have been here for decades, and as a fresh farang (not sure we can use this word for women), you can t see what I see....Basically I was trying to say that when one moves here, there a lot of shocking things (behaviour, couples...) no matter what you say. That s also where the reputation of Thailand comes from, land of smiles or land of sex...and If I moved here, it is because there are lot of bright sides, and I love it here...the daak side and I hope I would never get used to it, it that kind of prostitution all around. That's all. But there is prostitution all around France and the rest of Europe also.It's not called the 'Oldest Profession" for no reason! Mary Magdalene from the Bible was a prostitute!It's not about what's right or wrong,it's about what is! Prostitution in france is not at every corner, you can go to a club partying without having prostitues all around, I have been to few in Bankgok, ans they are everywhere...there is a slight difference! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cicinette Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 yes sure, what happened more than 90 years ago might change my mind! I think the point was to help you become aware that your views on sexual morality are a product of your childhood social/cultural/religious programming rather than anything based on objective reality or "universal" ethics. BTW yes "farang" does apply to women and men equally, and yes most of the farang women I know are much less happy about the sexual-culture differences here than the guys. I suspect that's got more to do with practical and personal reasons than abstract ones of ethics and morality, as the sex-positive "cougar" types, especially the "Toms" I know, seem to like it just fine. Well of course, My morality is product of my childhood social/cultural/religious programming, and now also of my life experience...and I say it again, I hope I will never get used to that prostitution, whatever you can say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 I think the point was to help you become aware that your views on sexual morality are a product of your childhood social/cultural/religious programming rather than anything based on objective reality or "universal" ethics. BTW yes "farang" does apply to women and men equally, and yes most of the farang women I know are much less happy about the sexual-culture differences here than the guys. I suspect that's got more to do with practical and personal reasons than abstract ones of ethics and morality, as the sex-positive "cougar" types, especially the "Toms" I know, seem to like it just fine. Western women don't like it here because it's all turned on it's head.Asian girls chase the guys and Western women don't get a look in,it's down to jealousy! The Lonely Planet guide to Thailand even talks about it on the introduction page of stereotypes you'll see here.The bitter Farang woman is called the 'Golden Bowl' or something like that by the Thais apparently! When I first came to Thailand I met a nice French girl and spent two weeks with her. I suddenly realized there were all these mysterious beautiful Thai ladies around me. Why travel half the way around the world and not eat the local food That's a good one Well, fried rice, fried noodle...boring...at one point you are dying for a good steak with french fries Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 (edited) I think the point was to help you become aware that your views on sexual morality are a product of your childhood social/cultural/religious programming rather than anything based on objective reality or "universal" ethics. BTW yes "farang" does apply to women and men equally, and yes most of the farang women I know are much less happy about the sexual-culture differences here than the guys. I suspect that's got more to do with practical and personal reasons than abstract ones of ethics and morality, as the sex-positive "cougar" types, especially the "Toms" I know, seem to like it just fine. Western women don't like it here because it's all turned on it's head.Asian girls chase the guys and Western women don't get a look in,it's down to jealousy! The Lonely Planet guide to Thailand even talks about it on the introduction page of stereotypes you'll see here.The bitter Farang woman is called the 'Golden Bowl' or something like that by the Thais apparently! Yep, You got it right, we are jealous...because we don t see why so much attention for them, and so little for us .....you know, back home, we ve been asked to be smart, independant, funny, etc.....thais women just need to smile, so unfair;)...white men here can fall in love with women they cannot even talk to because of the language barrier, and to us (since I ve been talking to few farang women, I can say "us"), it is just not understandable... So try to be smart and don't talk too much. Man don't want headache, always, only get laid every now and then! The language barrier comes very handy, sometimes! Well of course, My morality is product of my childhood social/cultural/religious programming, and now also of my life experience...and I say it again, I hope I will never get used to that prostitution, whatever you can say. But your morality has nothing to look at, in this country! As you said, it comes from your point of view! The Thai morality is totally different. I always like the people, saying "I love Thai culture", but they totally forget that this is a big part of the Thai culture. It's not black and white, only. You can blame the USA for a lot of things, but not for inventing prostitution to Thailand. 'Opening' one of the biggest brothels, during the Vietnam war, showing it to the world, is maybe, their fault. But the infrastructure is much older Edited October 20, 2012 by noob7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cicinette Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 I don t forget that I am a guest here, Thailand is not my country, so there are many things I won t understand, and I am not asked to...so I do take the whole package, doesnt mean I have to like it all...By the way, I am not saying I love Thai culture, since I know 2% of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 What's prostitution got to do with this topic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 What's prostitution got to do with this topic? I think from cicinette's reaction to my comment that Dees make great commitment-free playmates. I also have a theory, based on the fact IMO that most people do have bi tendencies to some extent, that those girls who've gained most of their sexual experience in the hetero sex trade, tend to end up favoring women partners for their "real" relationships as a result. In my experience, most of the sex workers in the homosexual side of the market aren't actually gay, just do it for the money and swing however they prefer in their private life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 (edited) What's prostitution got to do with this topic? In case, you pay everything for someone, to stay together with / be available for you, you can call it either prostitution or marriage, me thinks. Oh, missed your point: Tom's are many times 'sugar Toms'! Edited October 20, 2012 by noob7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 What's prostitution got to do with this topic? I think from cicinette's reaction to my comment that Dees make great commitment-free playmates. I also have a theory, based on the fact IMO that most people do have bi tendencies to some extent, that those girls who've gained most of their sexual experience in the hetero sex trade, tend to end up favoring women partners for their "real" relationships as a result. In my experience, most of the sex workers in the homosexual side of the market aren't actually gay, just do it for the money and swing however they prefer in their private life. I think your theory is sound. When you consider what bargirls have to put up with, it's hardly surprising that a 'tom' partner is a welcome and attractive alternative, even if only short-term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 You know, I was going to use the term "gentlemen" when making my point here but I think it doesn't really much apply to some of the behavior I have seen here. So, let me make these public warnings as clear as possible. 1. You will stop ganging up on one member because you don't like her opinion. You have yours, however wrong or right it may be and you are entitled to it just as she is to hers. It is not going to continue. If you can't post in a reasonable manner then you may find yourself not posting at all. 2. The woman bashing either Thai or Farang will stop now. Next guy that crosses that line will face a posting ban. 3. It is possible to discuss things without obscene references. Drop that too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 Hmmmm, My thread about Toms and their gorgeous girlfriends seems to have wandered a long way off the subject- no matter, it's all interesting. However, one thing that I had hoped to learn is whether Toms always get beautiful girlfriends, or somewhere out there, are there are Toms with plain Janes? Anyone seen such? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Hmmmm, My thread about Toms and their gorgeous girlfriends seems to have wandered a long way off the subject- no matter, it's all interesting. However, one thing that I had hoped to learn is whether Toms always get beautiful girlfriends, or somewhere out there, are there are Toms with plain Janes? Anyone seen such? You sometimes see Toms with 'plain Janes' on the BTS. And for some reason they're always very 'touch feely', as if they have a point to prove! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmem Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. No Tom would want to go anywhere near a 'real' man or encourage her 'Dee' to do the same! You're right about bargirls and Toms - many have them, and I would imagine they are a welcome antidote to their typical 'customer'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. No Tom would want to go anywhere near a 'real' man or encourage her 'Dee' to do the same! You're right about bargirls and Toms - many have them, and I would imagine they are a welcome antidote to their typical 'customer'! I loaned a Tom money to buy a business in Chiang Mai. She was a nice lady and a friend of mine. She went near me all the time. We also went dancing a few times . I'm a good dancer. Her business did well and she payed me back in two months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob7 Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. No Tom would want to go anywhere near a 'real' man or encourage her 'Dee' to do the same! You're right about bargirls and Toms - many have them, and I would imagine they are a welcome antidote to their typical 'customer'! I loaned a Tom money to buy a business in Chiang Mai. She was a nice lady and a friend of mine. She went near me all the time. We also went dancing a few times . I'm a good dancer. Her business did well and she payed me back in two months. If she didn't dress like a man, she's not a Tom! I assume, she didn't, or have you been dancing somewhere, where a darkroom is close to the restroom? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. No Tom would want to go anywhere near a 'real' man or encourage her 'Dee' to do the same! You're right about bargirls and Toms - many have them, and I would imagine they are a welcome antidote to their typical 'customer'! I loaned a Tom money to buy a business in Chiang Mai. She was a nice lady and a friend of mine. She went near me all the time. We also went dancing a few times . I'm a good dancer. Her business did well and she payed me back in two months. If she didn't dress like a man, she's not a Tom! I assume, she didn't, or have you been dancing somewhere, where a darkroom is close to the restroom? She dressed like a man. Her dee dressed like a girl. We danced in a number of places in CM. No problem. We got along very well together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. No Tom would want to go anywhere near a 'real' man or encourage her 'Dee' to do the same! You're right about bargirls and Toms - many have them, and I would imagine they are a welcome antidote to their typical 'customer'! I loaned a Tom money to buy a business in Chiang Mai. She was a nice lady and a friend of mine. She went near me all the time. We also went dancing a few times . I'm a good dancer. Her business did well and she payed me back in two months. I was responding to the post about Toms and threesomes and by "going near" I meant a little nearer than you're suggesting this Tom went to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Have barfined a couple of girls with Tom partners - both told me same - just a passing phase and great sex. But struck out when suggested a threesome. No Tom would want to go anywhere near a 'real' man or encourage her 'Dee' to do the same! You're right about bargirls and Toms - many have them, and I would imagine they are a welcome antidote to their typical 'customer'! I loaned a Tom money to buy a business in Chiang Mai. She was a nice lady and a friend of mine. She went near me all the time. We also went dancing a few times . I'm a good dancer. Her business did well and she payed me back in two months. I was responding to the post about Toms and threesomes and by "going near" I meant a little nearer than you're suggesting this Tom went to you. Remember where you are. This is Thai Visa old chap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Remember where you are. This is Thai Visa old chap. Point taken. I do forget sometimes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rene123 Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 My only question is why dig up a three year old topic? I frankly don't care what others sexual preferences are. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSpade Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 I was just musing about this the other day. I don't know if suddenly there's more about or I just started paying attention to them but I'm noticing a lot of toms and every one has a lovely girlfriend. Never did understand why a girl who likes girls picks a girl who looks like a man though. Most toms I think are blokes when I first see them. I met and was introduced to one last week and was in her / his company for over an hour before I clicked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snake24 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 I wonder does the same thing occur in western countries? In the US for example toms are called dykes which are women that dress and act like men and is it the same in thailand where if they are lesbo it seems like somehow one female needs to take on a male role and act like a male you cannot have 2 females that just dress like regular females. I suppose too lesbo females that look equally attractive only exist in porn movies. Also why don't you see 2 gay men with one dressing up as a female then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 (edited) Many of the high-end dees have chosen to hang out with a tom simply because for them it has become boring over the years to be chased on a daily basis by men Thai and farang each one thinking it is her lucky day that she has even made his acquaintance. Edited August 24, 2013 by JLCrab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kommiekat Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 This is a phenomenon no being noticed in Hong Kong. In HK's situation, it's a 5 to 1 population ratio. 5 women to 1 man, and quite a few educated office working men are going across the border for Mainland ladies (Dai Lok Yan). They are less demanding then GongLoi (HK girls) and cost half as much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrry Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Very disapointed with this thread. I cannot believe it unless we have photographic evidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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