Mia Noi ?

[JaiLai]

What's the difference between Mai Noi and Gik?

Mai noi is long term and semi serious and Gik is just someone you nob now and then and could not care if they get knocked down by a bus?

[chiangmaikelly]

What's the difference between Mai Noi and Gik?

Mai noi is long term and semi serious and Gik is just someone you nob now and then and could not care if they get knocked down by a bus?

Waiting for a human response.

[Rsquared]

Seriously...(as mentioned before)...when you have to put up with one woman at home, why in the world would one put themselves through more torture?

If you feel horny and don't want to involve the missus......rip the head off!

You get to choose the pace ( you can make it slow or fast....up to you), the tension ( you can squeeze harder or not)....and you won't feel guilty if you come to the party sooner than expected.

At the end....you don't have to make small conversation....or sneak her out the back door....you can just carry on with what you were doing beforehand.

...and the dirty water is off your chest, and there is no stepping on eggshells around the missus. (plus a helluva lot cheaper).

[rsokolowski]

One Thai wife is enough!! why punish yourself with more?

One Thai wife is enough!! why punish yourself with more?

One wife period is enough, why punish yourself with more. Plus my wife would most definitely cut my balls off (probably the whole package) when I took a nap if I had one.

[rsokolowski]

I will never allow the wife to raise ducks or keep sharp knives in the house...

How will she be able to cook without any sharp knives? Just don't have any ducks, but you will still have to worry about the soi dogs.

[Rob8891]

I will never allow the wife to raise ducks or keep sharp knives in the house...

How will she be able to cook without any sharp knives? Just don't have any ducks, but you will still have to worry about the soi dogs.

....or if she feeds you sausages (or meatballs).........

[BigJohnnyBKK]

It's easy enough to determine how open-minded your partner is about such arrangements before making a long-term commitment.

In my experience most Thai women only go through the motions of appearing jealous because they think not doing so will show that they don't really "love" you.

If they realize you don't buy into that particular cultural myth, many are willing to pretend they don't know about whatever other arrangements you might want to make as long as your behaviour is discreet and doesn't threaten the long-term security of the things they really care about, particularly face and finances.

However in the other direction, most will find it very difficult to believe that your willingness to allow them the same degree of freedom isn't a sign that perhaps you don't really "love" them. In my experience it seems much better to pretend to go along with the dominant more of double standards in this area - pretend that you're rabidly jealous to show that you really care, but in practice be willing to look the other way. Just don't let her know that you know, and if she ends up being obvious about her dalliances it's quite likely writing on the wall. . .

Edited October 20, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[diggerdo]

It's easy enough to determine how open-minded your partner is about such arrangements before making a long-term commitment.

In my experience most Thai women only go through the motions of appearing jealous because they think not doing so will show that they don't really "love" you.

If they realize you don't buy into that particular cultural myth, many are willing to pretend they don't know about whatever other arrangements you might want to make as long as your behaviour is discreet and doesn't threaten the long-term security of the things they really care about, particularly face and finances.

However in the other direction, most will find it very difficult to believe that your willingness to allow them the same degree of freedom isn't a sign that perhaps you don't really "love" them. In my experience it seems much better to pretend to go along with the dominant more of double standards in this area - pretend that you're rabidly jealous to show that you really care, but in practice be willing to look the other way. Just don't let her know that you know, and if she ends up being obvious about her dalliances it's quite likely writing on the wall. . .

My GF sent me this photo shortly after a conversation on this subject, I guess she is getting pretty good at pretending she cares

[BookMan]

Seriously...(as mentioned before)...when you have to put up with one woman at home, why in the world would one put themselves through more torture?

If you feel horny and don't want to involve the missus......rip the head off!

The head off a beer?

[IMA_FARANG]

I am in my late 60's and therefore for me this question is sadly a rhetorical one only at this stage in my life.

But in my wife's family her father had three wives....all at the same time.

That is to say he was married to three women in his life...and never divorced from any of them.

This was roughly from around 1940 to 1955.

At that time there was a valid reason,,,,back then it was very difficult to leave land to women....especially rice growing land.

The family was farmers owning rice paddy.

My wife's father had 3 girls by his first marriage, no boys.

His second wife produced 2 girls and one boy.

His third wife produced 3 girls and one boy.

Having those two boys was the real purpose of those three marriages.

The law has been changed for quite a while now,

But in my wife's extended family 70 percent of the children at least are females,

My wife, by the way is 64 years old.

Today, there's a 20 year old grand daughter in the family.

No way, will she tolerate a Mia Noi (or so she says).

My wife's siter, just one year older than my wife, was once a Mia Noi of a (relatiely) high Thai customs official....until she left him after about 10 years as his 2nd wife.

But that's another story.

[Tanaka]

Sadly, I'm not wealthy enough to afford a Mia Noi ... .

sadly, my wife does not approve of a mia noi...

Neither does mine. Except if it is her younger sister. And that works just fine with me. I love her sister too.

Edited October 20, 2012 by Tanaka

[Tanaka]

The ethics of this are of course up to each of us to decide.

My POV is that since the mia noi relationship is usually significantly more expensive than more casual relationships, it's only necessary to have that level of commitment when you want the girl to stick around long-term and have some sense of security. In the past I've had multiple mia noi without having any mia luang, and other than the expense factor, found it a great modus operandi.

From the practical side, the main advantage is it self-filters out those girls looking for the ultimate "game over" sort of commitment, they've heard rumors that farang are more likely to promise full-on lifetime monogamy, but I'm honest enough with myself and them as well that I realize this is impossible for me.

Personally I don't think that's even a worthwhile goal, and in fact even the mia noi arrangement is more complicated than what I now consider ideal.

You do not qualify to having had mia nois. The basic prerequisite to a mia noi is having a wife, a mia luang. Without her you cannot have mia nois.

[TommoPhysicist]

Sadly, I'm not wealthy enough to afford a Mia Noi ... .

sadly, my wife does not approve of a mia noi...

Neither does mine. Except if it is her younger sister. And that works just fine with me. I love her sister too.

I have exactly the same problem, but don't really want the younger sister.

[bina]

so u want a woman's perspective....

ive know several mia nois, thai women, and here, i know the filipino mia nois of the guys while they are here; prior to my marriage to present thai husband, iw as a mia noi to an other thai (about, now, eight years ago almost), his wife 'knew' but he was here and whe was there and anyhow i sent her stuff for her kids and her, (take care of.. style)...

i know a mia noi witha duaghter , the man travels several times a month to be with her, supports her and the daughter, the wife knows but turns a blind eye, and he loves both of them. mia nois werent quite the same as having a girlfriend on the side. the gf on the side is usually with the option that the man will divorce the first woman and commit to the second one. howver, mia nois know that will not happen; they are (were) truelly 'kept women' or mistresses in the old fashion sense. their children are recognized, with some kind of status, i guess close to to the concubine status levels... a girlfriend is just for show and then thrown away. a mia noi is really a second wife.

similar to the beduins here.

hubby dearest went thru a crisis last year when he realized that we wouldnt be having any children of his (he knew this when we married but heart and head dont always match) so he proposed that he would take a mia noi.

there were several women in the line up, but frankly i didnt trust any of them to not make a fuss, nor would we have been able to adopt a child from any of them, in part because israel doesnt really allow cross cultural adoptions w/o private and expensive legal help; and i refused to have a child living overseas with some filipina or thai bannork village when i have no control over their welfare and it was clear that we both, hubby and i, dont have enough money for ourselves, let alone long distance child support. hubby was less concerned about the provision of finances, but i felt it would be un ethical to have a child (even by proxy) and not give it the benefits to get ahead in the world.

at some point, hubby came to the conclusion , or the woman he was thinking of came to a conclusion, that it was more worth her while to be a girlfriend /mia noi of an other thai that was closer physically to her work area, to protect her and take care of her (as she was a thai labourer, and that is a common set up for women over her eworking w/o a male to look after her among the many many males around her).

i told him i would consent but if chose the woman. he never found one that i felt i could like (important in my case, im not t he jealous type if i have the say in things, but i know that things could change.)but preferred that he make up his mind for himself. he did. no mia noi. no more talk of mia noi. but his thai friends here are always talking about their filipina mia nois and bugging him....

and yes, he would flip out if i had a pua noi... but life is not equal in anything, i get the chance to flirt with whom i like at work, he has no option for even harmless flirting in his line of work and social status here.

To tell the truth, this subject has come up many many times, ever since i even joined the forum here; quite few discussions actually... and they usually degenerate fairly quickly... but if u google search the forum u will find a few...

adultery , as u say (the OP), is not the same thing. adultery occurs in societies where ahving more then one wife is prohibited by religious or state law. and the conotations come with that definition: adultery means soemthing that is sinful. the idea of sin is judeochristian in nature.

therefore i dont see anything wrong with those arrangements if there are people consenting. there is a big differece between a person who commits himself to someone or two someones by consent, rather then being a 'butterfly' which is a user, and abuser.... (ether male or female)...

bina

israel

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The ethics of this are of course up to each of us to decide.

My POV is that since the mia noi relationship is usually significantly more expensive than more casual relationships, it's only necessary to have that level of commitment when you want the girl to stick around long-term and have some sense of security. In the past I've had multiple mia noi without having any mia luang, and other than the expense factor, found it a great modus operandi.

From the practical side, the main advantage is it self-filters out those girls looking for the ultimate "game over" sort of commitment, they've heard rumors that farang are more likely to promise full-on lifetime monogamy, but I'm honest enough with myself and them as well that I realize this is impossible for me.

Personally I don't think that's even a worthwhile goal, and in fact even the mia noi arrangement is more complicated than what I now consider ideal.

You do not qualify to having had mia nois. The basic prerequisite to a mia noi is having a wife, a mia luang. Without her you cannot have mia nois.

Of course you are correct in a technical dictionary sense.

However if all the mia's consider themselves noi, and don't realize there isn't a luang among the others, then mission accomplished.

You always have the option to upgrade one that manages to prove herself truly worthy over time, if you're looking for that higher level of commitment/responsibility. I hope I'm immune to such illogical urges by now. . .

[lujanit]

Strange as it may seem, I know two married thai women who encourage their husbands to have a mia noi. In one case the husband has two. These women are no longer in the prime of their lives and want nothing to do with sex. So maybe they are being sympathetic to their menfolk.

[noob7]

Strange as it may seem, I know two married thai women who encourage their husbands to have a mia noi. In one case the husband has two. These women are no longer in the prime of their lives and want nothing to do with sex.

Not even fake, anymore? How sad is that?

But that's trully one of the reasons, for accepting mia noi.

He get's, what he wan't, but he's not leaving, what he had earlier!

[maprao]

Sadly, I'm not wealthy enough to afford a Mia Noi ... .

sadly, my wife does not approve of a mia noi...

Neither does mine. Except if it is her younger sister. And that works just fine with me. I love her sister too.

I would love for the above to be possible however "pooing" so near to home is too scary for me!

[Tanaka]

Sadly, I'm not wealthy enough to afford a Mia Noi ... .

sadly, my wife does not approve of a mia noi...

Neither does mine. Except if it is her younger sister. And that works just fine with me. I love her sister too.

I would love for the above to be possible however "pooing" so near to home is too scary for me!

You misunderstood me or I was not clear. I have two mia luangs, they are sisters and both live with me.

[noob7]

sadly, my wife does not approve of a mia noi...

Neither does mine. Except if it is her younger sister. And that works just fine with me. I love her sister too.

I would love for the above to be possible however "pooing" so near to home is too scary for me!

You misunderstood me or I was not clear. I have two mia luangs, they are sisters and both live with me.

The important question: Threesomes or bedroom changes?

[NovaBlue05]

All things considered, isn't it less complicated and more cost effective to rent a hooker as needed ?

Edited October 23, 2012 by NovaBlue05

[maprao]

Neither does mine. Except if it is her younger sister. And that works just fine with me. I love her sister too.

I would love for the above to be possible however "pooing" so near to home is too scary for me!

You misunderstood me or I was not clear. I have two mia luangs, they are sisters and both live with me.

Tanaka

Now I have to take the bait. How did you pull that one off. Both married with ceremony in the village only. One at the amphur?

Sounds like a great arrangement to me! Well done.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

When the mother of my children left me for greener pastures, her mother asked if I'd like the younger sister to move in to help look after the children, very nice girl, training as a nurse (yes I'd married the wrong sister.)

Would have been a very sensible arrangement, and I think both of us would have been OK with it developing into something more, but the (ex-) mia luang made it clear she wouldn't accept the situation - she's a rabidly jealous girl even now, to the point of wacko violence.

So I had to pass, and she's now happily living in a Scandinavian country, much better set up than I'd have been able to do for her, happy for her.

I have always been curious if the mum would have wanted a second sin sot. . .

[payak]

if there happy so be it.

I do believe it is still a case of keep the money flowing and do what you will, as mai noi keeps the man busy and off the mai leung.

[tinfoilhat]

The questions should be, how many of you can actually afford to have mistresses or illicit affairs in Thailand, other than going short time on the commercial sex scene?

This practice of having a partner or a bit on the side was probably not unusual 20 or so years ago, but these days the fairer sex is one of the most expensive commodities in Thailand and the luxury of being able to afford more than one partner is not going to be possible for the majority of us.

For these reasons I very much doubt if Mia Nos or sometimes described as second wives are all that common these days, whether the official wife knows about it or not.

Dream on, baby.

There are a lot more rich Thai people today than 20 years ago. A lot more poor Farang than there were 20 years ago. Maybe you are confusing the two. Thai baht go up pound and dollar go down.

Mercedes sales Thailand go up. House sales in Thailand go up. Mia noi in Thailand go up.

Thai economy up Western economy go down. Who dreaming? Maybe you are dreaming. Farang don't shop at the new Central malls Thai people shop there.

Your disdain and negativity towards foreigners in Thailand is somewhat unhealthy I fear.

And at times becomes repetitive and nauseating.

but he is right, the middle class is growing and have more to spend and there are a greater number of skint foreigners on the ground. there is much more money especially in the capital than there was 15-20 years ago. just look around you.

i am unclear as to how pointing out this very simple truth demonstrates any sort of disdain or negativity.

[mania]

<snipped to save space>

therefore i dont see anything wrong with those arrangements if there are people consenting. there is a big differece between a person who commits himself to someone or two someones by consent, rather then being a 'butterfly' which is a user, and abuser.... (ether male or female)...

bina

israel

Thank you for taking the time to post.

It was an interesting read from a womans perspective

Edited October 24, 2012 by mania