What Is The Definition Of An Insult Here That Is Not Considered An Insult In The West ?

[DavoTheGun]

Also not easy to relocate, have Condo In Pattaya!

Have as in own?

Several times every day reading TV I see a half-dozen posts that make me grateful I rent.

Still, you can still get out, rent it out to some big Russians or something.

Seriously, lose her, you'll never be able to have your own life back until she's given up on you and moved on.

I really respect and understand your advise, but I really care about this lady, perhaps not a good thing, my first real "love" since losing my wife so have emotional ties, probably not good, I think you been Thai long time?

[soi41]

On from my last post regarding my GF and her insensitive style, she is now back but without her clothes (Shirts) which she says she will not bring back, I said at least sh should bring back the many "shirts & shoes etc etc I have purchased, she says no! I need some advise please. Wanted to start new topic but cannot find the new topic tap, where is it please??

Out of respect to the OP, I think you should start a thread of your own. Go to the bottom of this page, press "back to general topics", Next page saying General topics and on the right hand side a button saying "Start new Topic"

[Neeranam]

On a similar vein, I think the Farang are treated differently almost with distane. It seems to me that we must abide by the Thai culture, which is fair enough but Farang culture is to be disregarded. I had occasion to express my feelings recently, I had attended a Thai Barby up north (Funeral) no sleep 3 days, the drove back to Pattaya 6 Hours with 8 People in 5 seat Car, would have had book thrown at me in Aus, my complaints were ignored, then had 4 extra people (teens) in my 50M Studio for 5 Days, The room is small enough as it is, I also like my privacy as do most Ferang, anyway putup with it, no probs, I had spent about 40000bt in week, was asked for some extra money by my GF, I politely said she would have to wait a few days, well not good enough said she, need now! I bit my lip,she persisted, I let fly, unfortunately, and spelled a few facts, looked at me with blank look, said I had no heart etc and left with all the kids to go to friends room, this is after 6 Months together! I am stunned! Did not care about my feeling only hers.

Unbelievable.

[DavoTheGun]

On a similar vein, I think the Farang are treated differently almost with distane. It seems to me that we must abide by the Thai culture, which is fair enough but Farang culture is to be disregarded. I had occasion to express my feelings recently, I had attended a Thai Barby up north (Funeral) no sleep 3 days, the drove back to Pattaya 6 Hours with 8 People in 5 seat Car, would have had book thrown at me in Aus, my complaints were ignored, then had 4 extra people (teens) in my 50M Studio for 5 Days, The room is small enough as it is, I also like my privacy as do most Ferang, anyway putup with it, no probs, I had spent about 40000bt in week, was asked for some extra money by my GF, I politely said she would have to wait a few days, well not good enough said she, need now! I bit my lip,she persisted, I let fly, unfortunately, and spelled a few facts, looked at me with blank look, said I had no heart etc and left with all the kids to go to friends room, this is after 6 Months together! I am stunned! Did not care about my feeling only hers.

Unbelievable.

Unfortunately all very true, I have started a new topic " Are Farang to be disregarded about there sensitivities"

[JSixpack]

Asking for payment on an overdue loan

Throwing her clothes out into the hall

What are you on about??

What Thais find insulting. Try either of the above to verify.

[harrry]

On from my last post regarding my GF and her insensitive style, she is now back but without her clothes (Shirts) which she says she will not bring back, I said at least sh should bring back the many "shirts & shoes etc etc I have purchased, she says no! I need some advise please. Wanted to start new topic but cannot find the new topic tap, where is it please??

When you buy someone a gift they get to keep it. You can't expect them to give it back.

But if they leave they leave and cannot expect to come back. It is up to to the person concerned the terms he has her back. If it includes you can come back but return everything previously given so be itl. Personally someone leaves me once.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I do various kinds of editing work, last step in the translation process, generally the so-called professional translators have such a low level of English it's a joke.

For most, if they ever see the corrections I make, they take that in itself as an insult, so the companies never show the final version to them because it just causes too many problems, they just argue and argue that they're actually right, that they know English better than a native speaker.

Of course that means they'll never improve. And talking to management about how they can improve their business processes - usually the reaction is that I've insulted them, meetings have to be handled like walking on eggshells, impossible to just come out and state that a system or procedure is completely broken and could be easily fixed with just a little (what I think is) common sense.

While most students working on their theses are actually in "learning mode" and therefore don't take my corrections (which they're paying for after all) as an insult.

End result? I'm happy to work for the students at half the rate I charge the translation companies, and if I get off my butt and get more customers in that market will end up firing the companies and leave their work to the guys that don't give a crap.

[kevvy]

how many threads are you going to visit regarding this

[phuturatica]

I have noticed it's not insulting to call someone fat in Thailand. In Western culture it would be considered quite rude etc but here they say it like it's no big deal.

[h90]

Talking/acting as if you know better than they do, causing them to think they are stupid.

But that isn't different to the west. We had in Austria Japanese Manager and they got into big troubles with the locals because of that.

[h90]

I have noticed it's not insulting to call someone fat in Thailand. In Western culture it would be considered quite rude etc but here they say it like it's no big deal.

Yes "E Uan" not sure how to spell it, is surely not polite but far less insulting than in the west.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

But that isn't different to the west. We had in Austria Japanese Manager and they got into big troubles with the locals because of that.

Yes, I think people are much more hyper-sensitive when national pride is threatened by even well-intentioned "advice" from the presumed-superior foreigner from a more developed country.

Most would agree while not uniquely Thai, that sensitivity is particularly common here, and most ideas from outside aren't accepted until they've "ripened" long enough to be passed off as an ostensibly local innovation.

Edited October 27, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[jacktrip]

who cares what thais think. insult and be insulted as you would in your native country.

come on man! were talking about insults here and your concerned how its interpreted. just get out there and bitch and moan. its about you, my world, get it, do you know how to use a thai potty? thats in my next lesson.

[astral]

Loosing face is way overvalued....

Not if you are Thai.

The offender could loose his/her life...........

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Loosing face is way overvalued....

Not if you are Thai.

The offender could loose his/her life...........

I think that's what he was saying.

Face is incredibly, ridiculously important here, to the point where what would be considered normal joking around tomfoolery back home is often grounds for a potentially murderous confrontation here.

I found something similar when I first moved to Australia - I found the male ocker style of aggressive banter in the bars incredibly hurtful and intimidating, which I guess was intentional, macho kind of strutting bantam-cock top-dog posturing putting down the Yank but hey it's all in good fun if you get angry you just lose face.

Only way to get any respect and reduce the barrage of challenges and insults, was to learn to dish it out right back just as aggro - I ended up getting employed as a bouncer in a bar frequented by bikees and miners in the goldfields, hated every minute of it but had to make a living didn't I.

That kind of verbal agression gets dangerous here, but then again since I've found many Brits and Aussies enjoy a good fight when they go out drinking, they often get what they're looking for.

But then they get all whingey when the Thais don't "fight fair", take it seriously gang up a dozen to one and sometimes people actually get seriously hurt or killed.

The difference is the Thais don't see this as entertainment, face is life and death, far more important than money or freedom or anything else.

[MacChine]

Insulting a Thai is simply saying: " Can I show you how to do that correctly?" or

"Sorry but it's wrong to do it that way."

In my country there are also people whom one has to tip toe around sensitivities, we call them children.

I also find the feigned shock at the word <deleted> ridiculous. ( and that this adult's forum censors it. ) I hear it every time I see movies on cable Cinemax, yet deep cleavage and butts are blotted out-so just how offensive is it? They seem to really like to pretend it's horrible when in fact it has simply become an exclamation.

Edited October 28, 2012 by MacChine

[DavoTheGun]

Insulting a Thai is simply saying: " Can I show you how to do that correctly?" or

"Sorry but it's wrong to do it that way."

In my country there are also people whom one has to tip toe around sensitivities, we call them children.

I also find the feigned shock at the word <deleted> ridiculous. ( and that this adult's forum censors it. ) I hear it every time I see movies on cable Cinemax, yet deep cleavage and butts are blotted out-so just how offensive is it? They seem to really like to pretend it's horrible when in fact it has simply become an exclamation.

I agree with you, they blank out a boob showing on Telly, but condone the largest brothel in the world, O. sorry the biggest "Bars" and the girls with the modesty towel, talk about double standards!

[JSixpack]

they blank out a boob showing on Telly, but condone the largest brothel in the world, O. sorry the biggest "Bars" and the girls with the modesty towel, talk about double standards!

Figured that out already, eh? Excellent.

[h90]

But that isn't different to the west. We had in Austria Japanese Manager and they got into big troubles with the locals because of that.

Yes, I think people are much more hyper-sensitive when national pride is threatened by even well-intentioned "advice" from the presumed-superior foreigner from a more developed country.

Most would agree while not uniquely Thai, that sensitivity is particularly common here, and most ideas from outside aren't accepted until they've "ripened" long enough to be passed off as an ostensibly local innovation.

Yes if you find a point that is better in Laos, Cambodia or Malaysia they feel insulted.

"Beer Lao is better than any Thai beer" and some feel insulted in their national pride.

[h90]

Loosing face is way overvalued....

Not if you are Thai.

The offender could loose his/her life...........

Come on....In my office it is all the time someone is a kwai and too silly to measure correctly. They feel insulted, but way less than if you would cut their salary. And one staff to the other calling their wifes fat and ugly.

Or a kwai to buy that second hand car (that is beyond fixing) or kwai to stay under the control of the wife.

All of course so that all the other hear it. Not nice and rude but no one takes it serious and some things go really beyond any limit.....when one girl ask the guy if his wife is so fat because his dick is too small to satisfy her....

no one got shot yet.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Yes if you find a point that is better in Laos, Cambodia or Malaysia they feel insulted.

"Beer Lao is better than any Thai beer" and some feel insulted in their national pride.

Actually my Isaan housekeeper keeps telling me I should look for my new girls in Lao across the river from her hometown, much nicer girls there she says.

Of course she wants me to pay her relatives to help translate/negotiate 8-)

But as a rule you're right. Tell Thais that it's a fact that Cambodian students learn English much faster than Thais do, despite having most of the intelligent sector of the gene pool all but wiped out fifty years ago, or that Burmese workers are generally harder working and quicker learning, and they will definitely take it as an insult.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

no one got shot yet.

You're talking about people that know each other, already have an ongoing relationship.

For a farang to do the same with strangers out in public, especially in areas like Pattaya, is indeed physically dangerous.

[Pushit]

If you really wish to make an insult point at them with a foot.....Then get the hell out pronto!!!

[metisdead]

Spelling police posts have been removed as well as nonsense trolling posts.

[MahaYellow]

back home in the UK in any town you car to name on any given weekend. Come closing time the streets are filled with drunken yobs giving it the Big I Am. Back home they can pick on some easy target and beat the crap out of him without anyone else doing much to stop it. They then come here on holiday and think they can get away with doing the same thing as back home. That is where it all goes wrong. The little Thai guy they are giving abuse to is suddenly backed up by several other Thai's whether they know him or not. They also don't fight like they do back home and the tourist big mouth always gets the worst of it. Sticks, bottles, chairs you name it. even knives as in this case. People getting attacked for doing nothing is a very rare occurrence thankfully.

This story doesn't ring right in my opinion.

I would like to see all these yobs from UK come to Thailand

and behave the same way they do and learn their lessons.

[Semper]

Using irony could be an insult.

Edited October 30, 2012 by Semper

[tfc]

My Thai teacher said that calling someone a Buffalo is really bad.

Edited October 30, 2012 by tfc

[Thailand2012]

On a similar vein, I think the Farang are treated differently almost with distane. It seems to me that we must abide by the Thai culture, which is fair enough but Farang culture is to be disregarded. I had occasion to express my feelings recently, I had attended a Thai Barby up north (Funeral) no sleep 3 days, the drove back to Pattaya 6 Hours with 8 People in 5 seat Car, would have had book thrown at me in Aus, my complaints were ignored, then had 4 extra people (teens) in my 50M Studio for 5 Days, The room is small enough as it is, I also like my privacy as do most Ferang, anyway putup with it, no probs, I had spent about 40000bt in week, was asked for some extra money by my GF, I politely said she would have to wait a few days, well not good enough said she, need now! I bit my lip,she persisted, I let fly, unfortunately, and spelled a few facts, looked at me with blank look, said I had no heart etc and left with all the kids to go to friends room, this is after 6 Months together! I am stunned! Did not care about my feeling only hers.

Not so much cultural as either pure money-grubbing or her misapprehension that you're sitting on a bottomless well of cash.

And completely your own fault for allowing her to boss you around at all in the first place - why did you do all that stuff, because you decided it was going to be fun?

I'm afraid she's too spoiled now, gotta start over with a new one and don't make the same mistakes - fixed allowance per month she can save or spend as she likes, but no more except for genuine life-threatening emergencies in which case you specify the hospital and doctors - trust but verify.

Otherwise it's your way or the highway, you take her on holidays where you want to go, and you choose who else tags along not her. Have as little to do with the rest of her family and make sure you don't move in any closer than a four-hour drive away. You have to be ready to walk at any time and make sure she knows it.

Otherwise you'll end up a down and out doormat.

Good post, that.

All too often, if you you give these people an inch, they will take a yard.

What was that movie line about never having anything you can't walk away from in exactly thirty minutes?

heat robert deniro

[poanoi]

I have noticed that beggars here feel offended when i don't give them money,

to the point that they start to insult me

[BigJohnnyBKK]

> What was that movie line about never having anything you can't walk away from in exactly thirty minutes?

heat robert deniro

Very good!

"Never have anything in your life that you can't walk out on in 30 seconds flat"

The end of it for the grifter is "if you spot the heat around the corner"

For me here more like "if you realize you're shelling out more than the value coming in" cause once it turns that corner it's never going back to the way it was before.

Difficult words to live by either way, and many would prefer not to in any case, but no getting around the fact that we makes our bed and then we gots to lie in it.

Edited November 7, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK