This is not the story of a scorned lover I never had a sexual relationship with this lady, she was just a family friend, it is just a warning to any suspected lover of this lady.

I have been living in Pattaya now for the last 6 years and I am still enjoying it in a lot of ways. I like the climate and many of the local people. I like the entertainment and the openness of this place. I have been all over the world and I think that generally speaking Thailand is a safe place, but there is a catch to it.

A good friend of mine, a Canadian was married and lived together with a Thai Lady for 4 years and took her all over the world. They bought a house on the East Side and than the relationship went bust. Mainly because she was a gambling addict and she would steal from him and betray him, just to get money to satisfy her habit. So finally they got divorced, but because she was a friend of our family too, going regularly in and out of my hose, and being a good friend of my wife and daughter. They are both from the Philippines by the way and they also like Thailand very much. So after my friends divorce she was high and dry and she borrowed money from me, 50000.00 Baht. Because we knew her very well and had some trust in her, I accepted and gave her the funds, but asking her to pay me back the small amount of 500.00 to 1000.00 Baht every month. I thought that this would be quiet reasonable and that she could afford that as a WG in Pattaya and as she told me the funds were meant to be for her daughters education in Chiang Mai. So far since January this year I have received 1000.00 Baht back and a lot of different excuses, why she can not pay any money back. So now, what I am trying to ask you is, if this so called "LOOSING FACE" only counts between Thai people and their own Thai family and Thai friends or also towards Falangs like me, because she "Lost Face" now, that is for sure and she lost a good friendship too, but Thais obviously don't care about that, so why should we care about Thais? I am looking forward to your reply and maybe some advise,

an old style Gentleman or a "Fool in Paradise".

Edited November 14, 201213 yr by Rimmer
Photographs removed as per forum Name and Shame rules

It's only 50k baht so just write it off and put it down to you making a daft error of judgement.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be;

For loan oft loses both itself and friend,

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry"

I really believe this quote is spot-on, and is just as apposite in Thailand as it is back in the UK.

In summary you lent 50k baht to a Working Girl with a known gambling problem, what did you expect the result to be? The outcome would not be any different in any other country lending money to someone of the same profile.

Edited November 14, 201213 yr by simple1

I think, you did what you thought was the right thing to do.

Unfortunately some people (not just Thai's) use trust as a way of extorting money from people.

Just use this incident as a lesson.

good luck

I wouldn't lend a bean to anyone in Thailand no matter what nationality they are, unless it was a tiny sum. The proportion of losers, deadbeats, ne'er-do-wells and general scam artists here is just much to high for my taste, and non-Thai people are some of the worst offenders.

My money is where it belongs: in a bank account with my sole name on it, and good luck to anyone who thinks they will be getting their hands on it.

A friend of mine has GF who also is a gambler and he has bailed her out a few times, not mentioning amounts, then proceeded to lend a member of her family an amount of cash. As yet nothing back.

So in my eyes, if they borrow it, no matter who it is from it aint coming back.

I wouldn't lend a bean to anyone in Thailand no matter what nationality they are, unless it was a tiny sum. The proportion of losers, deadbeats, ne'er-do-wells and general scam artists here is just much to high for my taste, and non-Thai people are some of the worst offenders.

My money is where it belongs: in a bank account with my sole name on it, and good luck to anyone who thinks they will be getting their hands on it.

And we all no what banks do with it too.

i can answer: gain of easy and/or free money from either thai or farang ALWAYS cancel out any facial issues!

and another of my theory: blood is thicker than water but money is thicker than blood (you must pay me 100bht royalty fee if you use)

Never lend money, full stop. She probably lost it gambling again. Same up here in the NE, heard it all before.

Farangs, do not lend money.

I have lent before and always got my money back eventually except once back home and yeah I lost that friendship. Lending to a gambling addict though, really????

Sent from my HTC Desire using Thaivisa Connect App

The only one who lost face is you ! And 50000 also...

Gamblers are like (other) addicts: they will lie, steal, cheat even family to support their habit and they can not be helped other than helping them get free of their habit. I know two Thai families that learned this lesson the hard way.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

Edited November 14, 201213 yr by SteeleJoe

Never lend money, full stop. She probably lost it gambling again. Same up here in the NE, heard it all before.

Farangs, do not lend money.

......unless you get either gold or a motorbike as security. Then there's never a problem.

I think a lot of Asians are big gamblers, don't know why.

I once saw a heartbreaking TV docu in Singapore about a Filipino woman whom worked in Singapore for about 15 years (as a nanny) and she saved hard during the years, bought 3 houses in Phill. When she came home her parents had lost 2 of them in gambling, thus she couldn't go home yet as the houses was her retirement only income (renting 2 of them out).

My wife's sister once bought 5000 bath from us, and because the sister though that since her kid sister is married to a "rich" (me) farang that the money was never to be paid back. My wife have told her not to call her ever again until the money is paid back, we haven't heard from her in a long time. Thai family values, eh.

A fool and his money, etc., etc.

I made the decision a long time ago not to lend money to anyone!!! under any circumstances....it nearly always goes sour if you do, and that is especially true for Thailand. Same as doing business with people here, forget it....it just dosnt work most of the time. If in the event you feel you must lend money then stipulate a specific time you require the funds back statiing a reason why......in your case its obvious she is avoiding paying you back and she does not value your friendship, best you write it off as experience and ignore her unless she approaches you with your money.

I think a lot of Asians are big gamblers, don't know why.

I once saw a heartbreaking TV docu in Singapore about a Filipino woman whom worked in Singapore for about 15 years (as a nanny) and she saved hard during the years, bought 3 houses in Phill. When she came home her parents had lost 2 of them in gambling, thus she couldn't go home yet as the houses was her retirement only income (renting 2 of them out).

My wife's sister once bought 5000 bath from us, and because the sister though that since her kid sister is married to a "rich" (me) farang that the money was never to be paid back. My wife have told her not to call her ever again until the money is paid back, we haven't heard from her in a long time. Thai family values, eh.

And all that rubbish about 'saving face'...means absolutly nothing when it comes to money......anyone like this has no respect for others or themselves.

I think a lot of Asians are big gamblers, don't know why.

I once saw a heartbreaking TV docu in Singapore about a Filipino woman whom worked in Singapore for about 15 years (as a nanny) and she saved hard during the years, bought 3 houses in Phill. When she came home her parents had lost 2 of them in gambling, thus she couldn't go home yet as the houses was her retirement only income (renting 2 of them out).

My wife's sister once bought 5000 bath from us, and because the sister though that since her kid sister is married to a "rich" (me) farang that the money was never to be paid back. My wife have told her not to call her ever again until the money is paid back, we haven't heard from her in a long time. Thai family values, eh.

And all that rubbish about 'saving face'...means absolutly nothing when it comes to money......anyone like this has no respect for others or themselves.

yes you got that right,it is a complete load of BS

maybe Bob Dylan got the lyric wrong in the song..

"you know you lost your face..well you never had none to begin..."

cant remeber name of song now hmm

getting old

After living here for many years and hearing many horror stories and getting cheated myself repeatedly, I would never trust any Thai w/ any amount of money. They will steal from their own family members.

Lending money to a gambling addict is absolutely stupid, everywhere in the world...

Lending money to friends is dangerous, as you might have to decide whehter to say good bye to your money or to the friendship... sometimes both...

But from what I have seen how Thai (women) lend money to each other (giving and taking), not paying back on time is not really loss of face... loss of face is only, if the lender requests the money back in front of others... otherwise not paying back on time is seen as pretty normal...

Some of the girls rip off other Thai girls too. One "friend" ripped my wife off for 4,000 baht. Made lots of excuses but never paid a satang back..

Dont worry it is not just a farang thing.

The Thais are ripping each other off all the time.

And they dont have to be a gambling addict or drug addict to rip you off.

You can kiss your 50k baht goodbye but you now have an excuse to get rid of her at least.

I wouldn't complain about Thai women/people not paying money back. It can be the same with any nationality..

The safest way is not to lend any money in the first place.

Personally if anyone asks me if they can borrow money, the standard answer is,"sorry I don't lend money."

I wouldn't lend a bean to anyone in Thailand no matter what nationality they are, unless it was a tiny sum. The proportion of losers, deadbeats, ne'er-do-wells and general scam artists here is just much to high for my taste, and non-Thai people are some of the worst offenders.

My money is where it belongs: in a bank account with my sole name on it, and good luck to anyone who thinks they will be getting their hands on it.

And we all no what banks do with it too.

Pay interest?

if you ask for your money back its considered rude by thais.

I don't think its a uniquely Thai experience. Years ago my partner had a very close friend who she worked and socialized with and whom she had known for years. On one occasion the friend came to stay with us. Before she returned home my partner asked me if I could lend her £50.00 as she had some temporary money problems. I gave her the money and told her not to worry and to just pay me back when she could a little at a time. She was so grateful. On returning home she immediately broke off all relations with us, would not even answer the phone or return calls and on future encounters she would cross the road and scupper out of the way if we were around. Although we still see her around, she hasn't spoken to us in 30 years.

Am I angry? no! £50 was a cheap price to pay to get rid of somebody who you thought was your closest and dearest friend and who was nothing more than a smiling psychopath. Before putting your trust in anyone I would commend that you find the opportunity to lend them a small amount of money and see what happens. A real psychopath will quit at this point and you will have the relief of knowing that you got out of the relationship before you trusted them with the big money!

I always lend money to people I don't want to see again.

I always lend money to people I don't want to see again.

Give me your phone number. ........................

I always lend money to people I don't want to see again.

Give me your phone number. ........................

No can do, wanna avoid all that heavy breathing.