Why Do Men Expect Bar Girls To Love Them?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

im not surprised sir. You think a large number of bargirls do fall in love w their custmers........................hahahahahaha!

ok sir.

Large numbers do in absolute terms.

As a percentage I agree it's small.

Actually since "love" isn't really anything objecting in this context, let me revise that to - I'm sure most sex workers do have genuine feelings for one or more of their customers over their working lifetime.

However most of them put a higher priority on practical matters, as is of course appropriate for a professional.

But some do sacrifice short-term profits for the goal of finding a steady customer that can provide "enough" income without her having to go out and find new ones all the time.

And for most guys that's a reasonable substitute for love.

[lemoncake]

sorry still failing to see your point or what your comments have to do with my post

Let me help

I believe as you do that some genuine love relationships emerge over time from those that start out as purely transactional.

However the vast majority of men in relationships with sex workers that think they are genuinely loved are being deceived by the girl in order for her to secure either long-term financial security or perhaps looking to get as much short-term gain as possible and then move on. As long as the money keeps flowing, the deception may continue, even until death do them part.

VAST majority.

You don't know for sure until either the money really does run out, or you create a staged scenario so convincingly that she really believes it has.

The problem with that "test" is you may be driving away someone who does really love you but isn't willing to put that factor ahead of ease, comfort and supporting her family.

Now, by answering as you did, you cause others to speculate that you may fall into the "sucker" category and don't know it.

Another cause for them to think that is your general statement that the girls are sincere and it's the fault of her leeching family. This also may seem overly naive to some, as many girls will use their suffering family as one of the tools in their manipulation arsenal.

Are the reasons for mocking laughter more clear now?

Personally, I think "does she really love me" is the wrong question. The right questions IMO are "Is she making me happy?" and "Is the amount I'm paying for that service fair and sustainable over the long term?"

If love, or a reasonable facsimile thereof emerges, then consider that icing on the cake, but don't let it influence you into paying more upfront than you'd be willing to walk away from as soon as the answer to either of those questions starts to tilt towards "no".

I totally agree with all your points.

I also believe as i stated before, that a large number really do fall for customers, HOWEVER all the pressure's and demands from her family more than often turns it into business transaction.

If you ask me, can one have a successful relationship with a bar girl, my answer would be yes, if her family is either dead or she is willing to cut ties with them or draw a line(this one is impossible)

[macksview]

i would certainly hope i never fall in love with a thai prostitute,i am but a simple man, who has spent a lot of my life dealing with nutters,loons,pyschopaths, there is no way i am capable of mixing it with a prostitute who for some inexplicable reason i have fallen in love with.

no amount of training could prepare me for that,look at all the mongers who have relationship after relationship with prostitutes,how many whorses can a white knight have?

manipulative,creative,driven,then there is thai prostitutes.

[macksview]

of course any prostitute could develop genuine emotions for a customer,as could the customer for her.

tangled up in this is the notion of selling/buying sex, what should be a natural and beautiful thing,becomes a commercial transaction, it may develop different meanings,but the lines become hazy when love/attachment is felt by one and not the other.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I also believe as i stated before, that a large number really do fall for customers, HOWEVER all the pressure's and demands from her family more than often turns it into business transaction.

If you ask me, can one have a successful relationship with a bar girl, my answer would be yes, if her family is either dead or she is willing to cut ties with them or draw a line(this one is impossible)

IMO you still haven't got it. How can you say "turns it into" a business transaction. That's what "it" is to start with, not just primarily that but only that, do you understand? The idea of genuine feelings entering into it is the secondary and IMO exceptional element.

And the pressures and demands from family are usually the original cause for the girls entering the trade in the first place, even those that aren't single mothers.

Note that although in my experience it is by no means impossible, it isn't any of your business whether or not she actually cuts off her family. All that concerns you is that you aren't bothered by any details about the pressures she faces, she needs to be told that those are her problems not yours.

I no longer engage in exactly this type of rent-a-wife relationship, but have had several dozen over the years. My solution to this aspect used to be to make a very explicit deal as to what I'm willing to pay per month, and to make it 100% clear that's all she's getting. Say for argument's sake that's B10k per month. She is free to send some of this back home to support her parents or siblings, and in fact to the extent she does this it's a good sign that she's a good girl, fulfilling her obligations. But if she wants a new mobile or to go shopping for a handbag, she needs to make the choice herself, can't have everything.

Now I know in my heart that I'll end up paying more than that, that's just the actual cash I hand over to her, so I budget another 50-100% for indirect expenses, perhaps including extra food costs etc depending on how tightly I'm monitoring my expenditures at the time.

This will include random (frequency and amount) gifts of cash or presents, bonuses for extra-good performance of services rendered, shopping money etc. However I don't talk to her about these as compensation, they are part of the mutual myth of us being a normal couple - I just make sure to keep that side of things under control.

Another area is "loans" - these are OK if they are small and then deducted from the next month, but if not then they have to fall within the latter indirect costs budget.

Then we come to family emergencies, and they usually do come up at some point and are sometimes even genuine. This is of course the hard part, and where you draw the line will depend on too many variables to give universally applicable rules. However note that Thais have larger and much more interdependent families than we do, your teerak's is most likely poor, and therefore there is an infinitely deep black hole of need that can easily absorb all the wealth available.

My tendency is to be a hard-hearted bastard about all but the most desperate cases, getting directly involved with the medical treatment or whatever it is, but then only after I've been with a girl for years and she's proven herself to be a very good value so far.

If you've got the money to spend, then perhaps budget your "indirect costs" a bit higher, setting aside any money not spent into a contingencies account, and making that available for the occasional lump sum outlay, of course after personally verifying that it's a genuine medical emergency.

Oh and by the way, I have had several girls who actually didn't have any family to speak of, one was abandoned and raised by an elderly auntie who passed away, I helped cover her funeral costs and after that there wasn't anyone else. Maybe ask around about graduates from upcountry orphanages?

Edited November 15, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[nottocus]

Cause the blokes are desperate for someone to love them.

[lemoncake]

I also believe as i stated before, that a large number really do fall for customers, HOWEVER all the pressure's and demands from her family more than often turns it into business transaction.

If you ask me, can one have a successful relationship with a bar girl, my answer would be yes, if her family is either dead or she is willing to cut ties with them or draw a line(this one is impossible)

IMO you still haven't got it. How can you say "turns it into" a business transaction. That's what "it" is to start with, not just primarily that but only that, do you understand? The idea of genuine feelings entering into it is the secondary and IMO exceptional element.

And the pressures and demands from family are usually the original cause for the girls entering the trade in the first place, even those that aren't single mothers.

Note that although in my experience it is by no means impossible, it isn't any of your business whether or not she actually cuts off her family. All that concerns you is that you aren't bothered by any details about the pressures she faces, she needs to be told that those are her problems not yours.

I no longer engage in exactly this type of rent-a-wife relationship, but have had several dozen over the years. My solution to this aspect used to be to make a very explicit deal as to what I'm willing to pay per month, and to make it 100% clear that's all she's getting. Say for argument's sake that's B10k per month. She is free to send some of this back home to support her parents or siblings, and in fact to the extent she does this it's a good sign that she's a good girl, fulfilling her obligations. But if she wants a new mobile or to go shopping for a handbag, she needs to make the choice herself, can't have everything.

Now I know in my heart that I'll end up paying more than that, that's just the actual cash I hand over to her, so I budget another 50-100% for indirect expenses, perhaps including extra food costs etc depending on how tightly I'm monitoring my expenditures at the time.

This will include random (frequency and amount) gifts of cash or presents, bonuses for extra-good performance of services rendered, shopping money etc. However I don't talk to her about these as compensation, they are part of the mutual myth of us being a normal couple - I just make sure to keep that side of things under control.

Another area is "loans" - these are OK if they are small and then deducted from the next month, but if not then they have to fall within the latter indirect costs budget.

Then we come to family emergencies, and they usually do come up at some point and are sometimes even genuine. This is of course the hard part, and where you draw the line will depend on too many variables to give universally applicable rules. However note that Thais have larger and much more interdependent families than we do, your teerak's is most likely poor, and therefore there is an infinitely deep black hole of need that can easily absorb all the wealth available.

My tendency is to be a hard-hearted bastard about all but the most desperate cases, getting directly involved with the medical treatment or whatever it is, but then only after I've been with a girl for years and she's proven herself to be a very good value so far.

If you've got the money to spend, then perhaps budget your "indirect costs" a bit higher, setting aside any money not spent into a contingencies account, and making that available for the occasional lump sum outlay, of course after personally verifying that it's a genuine medical emergency.

Oh and by the way, I have had several girls who actually didn't have any family to speak of, one was abandoned and raised by an elderly auntie who passed away, I helped cover her funeral costs and after that there wasn't anyone else. Maybe ask around about graduates from upcountry orphanages?

While no doubt you have your deep and thorough understanding on almost all matters,i am of a different opinion.

I have met a number of bar girls where no money was involved to start with and they did fall in love, but i could not get over the fact of their job.

I also met a number of non bar girls in search of a golden goose, where the foreigner boyfriend is suppose to ALSO take care her family and all their problems

Was the love real? yes it was, because no money exchanged hands and the only time problems started was when family started to make their demands.

The more girls refused, the greater the demands were, which eventually led to bigger problems and break ups.

I also think you are very out of touch with reality on the ground in the current days. Bar girls, especially the ones in the demand WILL NOT stay with someone SOLELY because of money if they genuinely did not like them.

Thanks to forums like this and 4 or 5 monger forums, there is no shortage of younger customers for them, so they really do have a choice.

I am not a hard bastard, nor am i tight, HOWEVER i work long and hard hours and have my own family to take care of and make it very clear from the start.

I also believe in helping animals over lazy ass people, so whatever extra money i come by, i always donate or help with animals.

A number of times now, i have heard from non bar girls how the father or mother was sick, those girls were earning pretty good salary, but salary was not enough to pay for the medical treatment.

They did not ask for money, but rather shared their pain, i suggested for them to take out a loan to pay for the medical, each and everyone of them chose NOT to, but rather leave mother/father in public hospital with a explanation that if they borrow, they would need to pay it back.

Again thanks to internet and forums, many men now learned and set limits and boundaries, just as many understand the arrangement but may not always admit it in public

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I also think you are very out of touch with reality on the ground in the current days. Bar girls, especially the ones in the demand WILL NOT stay with someone SOLELY because of money if they genuinely did not like them.

Thanks to forums like this and 4 or 5 monger forums, there is no shortage of younger customers for them, so they really do have a choice.

They've always had plenty of choices, and I agree that most sex workers here don't base their choice of long-term customer based only on money. The younger, fitter and more attractive you are - and of course personality and character come into it as well - then the need to pay above-market rates is reduced.

However I still think you tend to take too much at face value the "I'm a nice girl, it's not me that needs the money just all the family pressures force me to make that a priority" shtick. Not saying it doesn't exist in some cases but more often it's just part of the spiel.

And finally, the definition of "love" is always going to vary causing communication problems. Just because a girl stays with you for a certain amount of time without being explicitly paid doesn't mean it's there. They may well like you, enjoy the sex, easy lifestyle, bit of fun. True love means thick and thin sickness and health and yes telling the rest of the family to bugger off when push comes to shove.

And that is indeed rare, not just here.

[lemoncake]

I also think you are very out of touch with reality on the ground in the current days. Bar girls, especially the ones in the demand WILL NOT stay with someone SOLELY because of money if they genuinely did not like them.

Thanks to forums like this and 4 or 5 monger forums, there is no shortage of younger customers for them, so they really do have a choice.

They've always had plenty of choices, and I agree that most sex workers here don't base their choice of long-term customer based only on money. The younger, fitter and more attractive you are - and of course personality and character come into it as well - then the need to pay above-market rates is reduced.

However I still think you tend to take too much at face value the "I'm a nice girl, it's not me that needs the money just all the family pressures force me to make that a priority" shtick. Not saying it doesn't exist in some cases but more often it's just part of the spiel.

And finally, the definition of "love" is always going to vary causing communication problems. Just because a girl stays with you for a certain amount of time without being explicitly paid doesn't mean it's there. They may well like you, enjoy the sex, easy lifestyle, bit of fun. True love means thick and thin sickness and health and yes telling the rest of the family to bugger off when push comes to shove.

And that is indeed rare, not just here.

i think you misunderstood my point. I never said they do not need money, what i am saying is there are many who would be happy to certain degree of "gifts" but her extended family are the ones who are never ever happy or have enough and continue to mount pressure on her to get more and more until there is nothing left to take, they will then pressure her to find a new cow to milk.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

i think you misunderstood my point. I never said they do not need money, what i am saying is there are many who would be happy to certain degree of "gifts" but her extended family are the ones who are never ever happy or have enough and continue to mount pressure on her to get more and more until there is nothing left to take, they will then pressure her to find a new cow to milk.

I do understand your main point and agree this is common.

However I've been very successful in preventing such issues from creating any actual problems in my own life, and hope the guidelines I've developed and outlined in various threads here can help others do the same.

The key is making sure that you don't form an irrational attachment to the point that it overrides your common sense and sustainability of your economic situation - be ready to walk away as soon as you see the warning signs of things heading south, the situation almost never goes back to the joys of the honeymoon stage.

Edited November 15, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[farangme]

It's something to tell their grandchildren...."Ah yes, I remember the time I was madly in love with a Thai hooker a third my age......"

Sent from my PC36100 using Thaivisa Connect App

[NeverSure]

It must be nearing Christmas already, all these Ho Ho Ho threads are popping up.

Yes, Santa will be emptying his sack

Everyone's been so good.

Maybe so many expect bar girls to love them because so many believe in Santa Claus too.

[NeverSure]

...how many whorses can a white knight have?

Nicely done.

[fish fingers]

To be honest, any guy who relocates to Thailand and thinks he can meet and settle down with a girl half his age and sign off all his money to her and live happily ever after deserves what comes next.

Edited November 15, 2012 by fish fingers

[NeverSure]

To be honest, any guy who relocates to Thailand and thinks he can meet and settle down with a girl half his age and sign off all his money to her and live happily ever after deserves what comes next.

Ah do I agree with this. Some think as BigJohnnyBKK, and others settle into what is marriage and kids and... Who am I to know for another person? Don't we all make our own mistakes? More and more I'm getting what BigJohnnyBKK says, just for me.

IF I don't buy real estate to lose, and IF no gal ever knows how much money I have, and IF I don't believe that a pretty gal 1/2 my age will love me in the classical sense, then I may move forward into enjoying myself. IF I get it that it's a transaction and IF I'm always willing to walk, there are lots more where that came from.

I've been young and dumb and hopelessly in love to have it burst in the US, leaving a mess. Why do that again?

BigJohnnyBKK didn't say this so this is me, but maybe having a gal who's a little on the wild side with no expectations other than for now is more fun than having that perfect gal - perfect wife - perfect mother - to work so hard to preserve or all is lost????

BigJohnnyBKK, if no one listens to you other than me, your hard efforts are not lost.

[Om85]

That only happend to poor devils with litle brains inside their head, bar girls are hookers, they got involve with most of their clients only because of money, but some loneley and desperately in need of love man, forget this and fall in love with them, in the other hand if you are young and good looking you don't even need to pay for the place to expend the night with them, cuz many of them will go with you for free, but that's only my experience, I don't know what other people think

[Mosha]

Men always pay for it. You think a "good" girl would stick around long if a guy didn't show her a good time?

[lemoncake]

i think you misunderstood my point. I never said they do not need money, what i am saying is there are many who would be happy to certain degree of "gifts" but her extended family are the ones who are never ever happy or have enough and continue to mount pressure on her to get more and more until there is nothing left to take, they will then pressure her to find a new cow to milk.

I do understand your main point and agree this is common.

However I've been very successful in preventing such issues from creating any actual problems in my own life, and hope the guidelines I've developed and outlined in various threads here can help others do the same.

The key is making sure that you don't form an irrational attachment to the point that it overrides your common sense and sustainability of your economic situation - be ready to walk away as soon as you see the warning signs of things heading south, the situation almost never goes back to the joys of the honeymoon stage.

to be honest with you, you really begining to irritate me with your "know it all" attitude across all the threads.

hope you realize post count does not constitute absolute knowledge, nor are we in competition where you need to win by continuing to try to appear to be smarter

[TimTang]

I don't think many customers of the sex industry "expect" the workers to truly love them.

I think it's much more amazing when real love does emerge from such beginnings.

Yes, some men are just plain gullible, but I have to admit that's easy to understand when a clever beautiful ambitious sexy young thing is bringing everything to bear on making you happy and trying to get you to fall in love with her.

And if/when it all falls apart, most guys are probably not really that surprised, ah well was nice while it lasted, at least have some nice memories to help keep you warm those cold lonely winters starting over all over again back home.

Some people live their whole lives never taking any risks and die without ever having that kind of fun.

In any case such misfortune is IMO worthy of pity and compassion rather than disdain, even if it seems largely self-inflicted.

Actually that is a good way of looking at it!

I lived with a bar girl for 3 years believing that she was in love with me. Ultimately I kicked her out when I found out she had a Japanese sugar-daddy that was dumping money into her bank account (I didn't even know she had one) once a year about a month before his arrival in Thailand. Of coarse, before his arrival, she would fabricate an argument about something, anything, and leave fuming with a suitcase to see her mother. It took 3 years to figure out that she wasn't really running home to mother; she was busy bonking her Japanese sugar-daddy.

Kicking her out was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. She was absolutely stunningly beautiful; after taking a wiz at a bar she would be surrounded by horney men trying to buy her a drink and I'd have to fight my way through just to get to my own girl friend. When ever I went out for a drink with my friends she'd blow me and tell me there's plenty more where that came from if I come home early. Cheating on her was pointless. Even if I could find a go-go girl or what-ever that was even remotely as beautiful as her, it was highly unlikely that the sex would be anyway as intense as it was with her. I practically had a perpetual hard-on for about 3 years and it had nothing to do with viagra.

I was heart broken for quite a while after our break-up but in retrospect I wouldn't trade that period of time for anything, and I certainly wasn't about to jump off a building to numb the pain. I suppose I did get sucked-in but I had a lot of fun while I was being duped. I'd probably do it again given the opportunity. Fake love is better than no love at all especially if you're having sex with an incredibly beautiful woman.

Edited November 16, 2012 by metisdead
: 30) Do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes, added emoticons, or altered wording.

[StreetCowboy]

Why do people open threads on the foibles of others?

Let's face it, only a fool looks for logic in the hearts of men.

It's just something that we have to learn to live with, and if it distresses us, we should ignore them and let them lead their lives in peace without our judgement.

However, some of us always believe that we can make a difference. We try to point out thier foolishness, but just like King Canute, we can no mre turn back the tide than we can stop threads about 'farang'.

SC

[TimTang]

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

It's true, there is that element.

The first time I visited my bar-girl's family (up North) I ended up in the midst of a ceremony which included the local monk. There was much fanfare and I ended up having to finance loads of booze and food for the party that followed, and went on 'til the wee hours of the morning. The following day I woke up with a serious hangover and my girl friend informed me that we were now married. Of course no-one informed me of this, I just thought they were really nice people who were happy to see me. A few months later I purchased some land in the village where we could build a house and eventually move up there to live in marital bliss. I eventually sussed out that the land I bought already belonged to the family and it was just a scam to suck out more funds. This only proves, if you are obsessed with a beautiful Thai girl and having awesome sex, more so than you've had in your entire life, it can actually be lots of fun being a completely naive idiot, provided it doesn't deplete your bank account first.

Edited November 16, 2012 by metisdead
: 30) Do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes, added emoticons, or altered wording.

[SteeleJoe]

Back home, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you but even in instances where this may be the case, there's way too much competition from guys with more money than your average, bar regular. The overwhelming majority of ordinary, non-profit making women are a mystery to him. He just can't figure them out; they're way too complicated.

So here he is in Thailand where cash is known to level the playing field. Any insecure, socially-inept, sartorially-challenged gimp can pull a woman several notches above the heifers he had to knock about with back in Farangland. Here, the nuances of women and the things they expect - understanding, empathy, someone to lean on - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Said loser can be heard thinking to himself,

"Jeez, this is great; I don't have to talk to her too much, she plays a mean game of pool, she cheers on my team in the footie, she shags well and whenever I want it and, to boot, she says she 'loves me'".

Somewhere along the line, however, the joker begins to develop genuine feelings for his bar bint. He forgets that the relatively small amounts of cash are her motivation and that their liaison is a purely financial transaction.

With the intensity of his brain-shaking orgasms fresh in his mind, he asks himself,

"How can she flirt with other men so easily? Why is she still getting text messages from that fat German? Why does her phone go on the blink so often and why does that Phichai moto-taxi guy have so much to say to her?"

In an effort to reassert control, our hapless love fool asks her to leave the bar in return for a stipend to help her family and a key to his apartment but, now that the financial outlay has move up a notch, he reasons that he has a right to control what she does, where she goes, who she sees and develops a habit for interrogating her friends. She likes the cash but she resents the manipulative streak her mark beau has developed and begins to rebel. Eventually, it becomes too stressful so she bounces him to the kerb, moves out and heads back to the bar.

Our Romeo drowns his sorrows, breaks down, accosts her at her bar, is rejected and heads off home to join the flying club

Spot. On.

(That was a quality post.)

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

Edited November 16, 2012 by SteeleJoe

[TimTang]

Why do people open threads on the foibles of others?

Let's face it, only a fool looks for logic in the hearts of men.

It's just something that we have to learn to live with, and if it distresses us, we should ignore them and let them lead their lives in peace without our judgement.

However, some of us always believe that we can make a difference. We try to point out thier foolishness, but just like King Canute, we can no mre turn back the tide than we can stop threads about 'farang'.

SC

I'm pointing out my own foolishness, not that of others. I learned from my foolishness but I had a great time in the process of being foolish.

It reminds me of one of my favorite lines by Bob Seager in the song "Night Moves" which goes..." I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then"

Edited November 16, 2012 by TimTang

[SteeleJoe]

First off,this is not having a go at bar girls or the few men who have found true love in the bar, although i always found that having lots of money makes you far more interesting and handsome(just look at Bernie Ecclestone,where would he have found a 6 ft model at his age if he was a roadsweeper)

Anyway i constantly read about guys who kill themselves because some bar girl or as they are called in other countrys ,hookers kill themselves when she desertes them .What did they expect ,its their job ,they are wrking ,and nobody works for free ,so when he cannot afford to pay her any longer ,she is off ,just like the gardener or the plumber if you couldnt pay for their services .

To anyone who has found true love in the bar ,this is not aimed at you ,best of luck .

do you lot agree?

Yes, you are having a go at them.

The 1st bold text indicates your intent.

The 2nd bold portion reveals your intent.

I think the above response provides an insight into the answer the question the OP is asking.

As the OP points out a prostitute is working for a living, when the John runs out of money the Prostitute goes looking for paid work elsewhere. Its business.

The John though might no accept the truth at the root of the relationship, he might, as "I Like Thai" object to the Prostitute being recognised as a prostitute/hooker.

The John's money runs out, the prostitute walks out and the John is suddenly reminded that the lie he has been telling himself is exactly that - a lie.

Loss and humiliation all rolled into one and everyone blaming the Prostitute, who's sex for cash work was likely the only honest part of the whole relationship.

Another excellent post.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[stoneyboy]

Why do people open threads on the foibles of others?

Let's face it, only a fool looks for logic in the hearts of men.

It's just something that we have to learn to live with, and if it distresses us, we should ignore them and let them lead their lives in peace without our judgement.

However, some of us always believe that we can make a difference. We try to point out thier foolishness, but just like King Canute, we can no mre turn back the tide than we can stop threads about 'farang'.

SC

Some people only wish they had the <deleted> to live a more risqué lifestyle,as opposed to the stagnated boring and monotonous daily happenings that they have to endure whilst living in Pattaya,it must be difficult living there when the highlight of your day is starting threads on TV about bar girls,obviously the OP is in need of a good bonking with a 21 year old nympho.

[advancebooking]

Does an overweight, old guy with receeding gums and hairline really think that a bar girl is dancing around a pole and being 'bar fined' because she wants to... 99% of these girls are in it for the money - to support their family. Is it really possible for a 'pay for play' girl to fall in love after being a hooker. Is she really just using the guy for money / financial security

[BigJohnnyBKK]

To those that have expressed (publicly and via PM) that you find my perhaps overdone posts helpful, thanks the feedback is appreciated.

to be honest with you, you really begining to irritate me with your "know it all" attitude across all the threads.

hope you realize post count does not constitute absolute knowledge, nor are we in competition where you need to win by continuing to try to appear to be smarter

Your reaction brought this pithy response to mind

My understanding is that the software here allows you to "block" my posts so I completely disappear from here altogether AFAYC. Feel free to do so, I won't be offended since I won't even know.

And I don't claim omniscience nor am I trying to appear smarter than I am, I just think productive discussion of subjective topics requires precise thinking and use of language to try to remove as much ambiguity as possible, particularly when the participants come from such diverse backgrounds.

Edited November 16, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[macksview]

the prostitute is selling a package,which includes sex,delusion,fantasy it is only some "johns" who are seeing more in this commercial relationship.

if you bet on racing,you know it can be corrupt,exciting and a great high when the punter wins,but sorrowful and destructive if you cant control your habit,is it a fair paralell to "johns" falling in love with a prostitute?

the whore is as stated before,is an honest individual,she is just a punter making a bet,she wins if she gets,the customer into the bar,gets her first lady drink,gets that first barfine,gets the performance money,gets sponsored,house land and vehicle,honest as the day is long.

why would someone look for love with prostitute,it is their punt,win lose or jump off the balcony.

i would never look for a prostitute to be my life partner (well,latter life partner),no more than i would expect a plumber to be my surgeon,but that is personal preference,each to their own.

[TimTang]

Does an overweight, old guy with receeding gums and hairline really think that a bar girl is dancing around a pole and being 'bar fined' because she wants to... 99% of these girls are in it for the money - to support their family. Is it really possible for a 'pay for play' girl to fall in love after being a hooker. Is she really just using the guy for money / financial security

You'd be surprised! An unattractive falang may become very vulnerable when suddenly a beautiful Thai girl is paying attention to him and is willing to do things that he's only 'read about' in the Penthouse forum. Suddenly he's Brad Pit and he becomes very loose with his wallet. The first thing that kicks in is the "Knight on a White Horse" scenario; I'll rescue her from this terrible situation where she is forced to have sex with strange men. WRONG! I've gotten to know many bar girls and many of them LOVE to have sex with strange men, as long as they can make the choice. I lived with a lesbian (bi-sexual) that came from a very rich family in Nong Kai. She was an embarrassment to the family, but she worked as a go-go dancer at VooDoo in Nana simply because she liked to bonk good-looking falangs. She didn't need the money! We ended up being close friends, occasionally having sex when we both clicked. Now she's married to an Australian with 3 kids.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Actually many of the girls just enjoy the overall lifestyle once they get into it, perhaps get their start under duress, but once they're over the hump so to speak are getting paid to hang out drink and play pool most of the time.

I too have had my share of screamers and yes I do check for autonomic responses that can't be faked. However that in itself doesn't guarantee she's "enjoyed" herself, sometimes the result is hysterical sobbing if they've never experienced a full-on O before.

Truth remains that gifted amateurs (more my scene these days) are more likely to enjoy themselves at the actual deed than the average pro - just don't kid yourself with these either that that's the main reason they're engaging in the sport with you.