Going To Esaan To Meet The Family

[SteeleJoe]

Just be yourself, keep smiling and don't feel you have to eat everything offered to you, "gin mai bpen"'s perfectly OK. If you're not flexible enough to sit on the floor with everyone, then ask for a chair but sit off to the side so you're not towering over everyone. Observe the way they duck when passing, don't have to go overboard but make a bit of an effort, try to not point your feet toward people, don't pat anyone on the head etc like I'm sure you already know.

I'd advise booking a room at a place with aircon to retreat to when you feel like it, don't worry about offending too much as long as you've spent a couple hours hanging out with the tribe they'll understand.

Or as another poster said, bring some reading material, they'll be happy to run a fan out to the shaded wooden platform, ask for a couple of pillows and bob's your uncle, just sit up and wai as the various elders are brought from around the village to be introduced to you.

It is customary to pass out a few small bills to the younger members of the household when you leave, maybe a couple of thousand to help cover food costs to mum if they're poor, but ignore all the tossers about throwing big money around funding a lot of drinking etc that's only "necessary" at the more formal ceremonies. Personally I just say drinking is against my religion and I didn't allow it at any of mine, paid for lots of soft drinks and an extra pig instead.

They will assume you're courting and in fact if you're not intending that you might want to clarify things for your teerak as she's making a major step wrt her home community and will want to minimize the number of such visitors that show up or they might think the wrong thing about her. If she is a BG get your stories straight about how you met, very unlikely the truth will be openly discussed even if some of her relatives know the truth I bet Dad won't.

If the time comes up to actually negotiate a sin sot, it is customary to bring along an "elder" representative to do that for you so you don't offend yourself playing hardball. Obviously that person should speak Thai if not their first language.

Yet another sensible, honest answer to a post from BigJohnnyBKK. I agree with all he says.

From my experierience, and I live in a village in Issan and love it, the locals are so much friendlier than in the tourist places. There is really no comparison. Get the GF to advise you about local customs as posted above. Take a book or laptop to watch a DVD because unless you speak Thai you will be bored after 20 minutes. be polite, smile a lot and you will get on fine. Ignore all the posts about they only want you there to get at your money. Never been to 'real' Thailand before? Then believe me it will be a real eye opener but it will also a fascinating and great experience.

Be sure as said in another post that you get your GF to introduce you to everyone by your first name and instruct her to ask they call you by this and not farang. It will not stop all of them by talking about you as farang as it is there way but in time it will help. If they are like me and have difficulty in remembering people's name then that is understandable.

Don't go there with an open wallet and splash a lot of money around. You might think they appreciate it but more than likely after you have gone, will think, 'stupid farang' if you do.

Go with an open mind, have a good time and let us know how things went.

Agreed, BigJB was spot on -- I had missed it -- as is yours. Especially the last few lines.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[macksview]

no,no,no, enough of this,it is a minefield they all want your money,dont do it.

pling, pling,pling,it is going to happen.

on the other hand it could be love love love nothing more nothing less etc

love the isaan love the "real people" but go to tesco and see the mia farangs and its about 50/50

[The Pundit]

all you people saying you need to offer cash and gifts are assuming gilfriend is a bargirl........................hahaha.

Shame on all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bet OP is the same age as his gf and they met at University, cause every time I am up there that is the exact profile I see. Really, it is quite likely that she is Thai Chinese, white skinned and her family is high ranking government officials who also own several large factories (that employ all the brown people). OP will probably help run them, he is over qualified with his degree in nuclear physics.

To the OP,congratulations,you are about to see the REAL Thailand!

Not the diluted,tourist traps like Bangkok,Phuket and the other overdeveloped,overpriced and mafia run island monstrosities!I don't include Chaing Mai and Chaing Rai as I believe them to be authentic Thailand also and near to some spectacularly beautiful places like Phitsanulok and Loie.

I've been to many places in Isaan and have never found the locals there to be anything but the nicest,friendliest,warmest and most genuine people I have ever met anywhere on this planet and I've travelled extensively.

Whenever I'm in Isaan I walk around with a masssive grin on my face because I love it and the locals seem to appreciate that and take me to their hearts!

It's hot,dirt poor with nothing but rice and dust but I guarantee you that you will not forget the experience,they seem genuinely happy to see you there,even in the big cities like Khon Kaen,you'll have a fantastic time there.

Just make sure you come back on here to let us know how it went!

This is why you should go to Isaan when you are single and not being led around by the hand like a child.

Erm,I DID go to Isaan single and have done so every time I've been there.Often driving myself from Chiang Mai which is quite an amazing journey but thanks for your interest and judgement anyway!

Do you need to be 'led around by the hand like a child'?

[sirchai]

Don't stay at the family home, stay at a resort close by, you can get these for around 350 baht usually for short time but good enough to get you as far away from the family and have some quality time with your girlfriend.

When you are bored just say need to go room for aircon lorn mak mak.

Stock up at a with supplies on the way leave in your room so when back just shut up shop until the morning, this way you not have to put up with the all night party that will more than likely happen, unless you want to get drunk and stay up all night.

"Don't stay at the family home, stay at a resort close by, you can get these for around 350 baht usually for short time but good enough to get you as far away from the family and have some quality time with your girlfriend."

Thought he wanted to stay with her for longer..........---

[althemighty]

You are expected to give a gift when you stay at someones house. Normally I buy a couple of live ducks a case of bear, a bottle of whisky and some vegetables from the market. Try not to buy presents as most presents you buy are looked down on or not used. Pretty much they want gold and food and everything else you would buy wrong. If you feel the need for a gift get one of those birds nest beverage baskets.

Also buy cheap. I got some $100 whisky made in Australia and they said same same as the $3 whisky in thailand. Buy local thats what they want.

After doing the feast you should be part of the family.

[tullynagardy]

Also buy cheap. I got some $100 whisky made in Australia and they said same same as the $3 whisky in thailand. Buy local thats what they want.

I had a similar issue, Jameson 12 Year Old Special Reserve at £40 a pop, and people actually shunned it in favour of £4 samsung whiskey (which in itself was a treat from the usual rice whiskey.)

On anther note its so depressing to see every thread in this forum descend into the same s*** from the same people ....."your gf is a dirty XXXXX but mines Chinese thai and loaded" bla bla bla. if you feel the need to belittle others and big up yourself, all you are doing is demonstrating your real unhappiness and bitterness, the exact opposite of what you presumably want.

Edited November 16, 2012 by metisdead
: Inappropriate language.

[David48]

If you are in SURIN this week-end ... it is the Surin Elephant Round-Up and an absoloutly amazing time to be there ...

Many things are free.

The main Stadium you must pay for.

There will be a street parade (I think tonight) ... but mant Thai's don't care because they see Elephants all the time.

You must get along to see some of the celebrations.

[Nana Cowboy]

I don't know pardner as I never succumbed to the pressure of doing what you're about to do during a 6 year relationship with a 9th grade educated 18-24 y/o Issan girl. I was regularly pressured to go up there but I resisted and outright refused on those many occasions. Not sure what my fear was but now as 4 years have passed since she left me I am dam glad I did what I did. They had come to visit us in my condo that 1st year and again 3 years later. Those were short non overnight visits. I say everything went perfectly as she did leave after I refused to marry her after living together 6 years. In the end I caught her cheating on me and really dont know if or how many times previous she did same during the 6 year period. It was a fine enough 6 years, a good companion and very young compared to my being 23 years older. i was devastated when she left. Four months later I met a graduate of a top Bangkok university who happened to be the same age as her. What a wonderful person she is and we're married now 3+ years. I've never seen anyone look as nice as her in a swimsuit or met a smarter woman. I guess you get lucky sometimes. I went to meet her mother and stepfather 6 months after we married at the Amphur. No formal ceremony as yet and no sin sod. She's a rare only child in this country and no she's not from Issan. I shoulda made a special thread for this story perhaps but I saw your title and it related to my 1st relationship here and how it dragged and the following one that moved like lightening. Good luck up in Issan. Really I have no experience except for the girl living with me in BKK for a long 6 years. I guess I never went because I dread large family scenes and have fears of pressure to marry and such. One final comment is that on 2 occasions we flew into Udon Thani to go on a Laos visa run. This really made some people mad as she said we were so close to her village and didn't bother to stop by. I'm a cad but I'm a super happy cad in my life now.

PS: I did notice that someone was complaining about a poster in these threads always claiming to be married to some hiso Thai-Chinese. No not my situation or cup of tea and I agree with that poster.

Nana Cowboy - Yeeeee Haw

Edited November 16, 2012 by Nana Cowboy

[klikster]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

Oh, sure. Her "brother"...

Sorry, couldn't resist. Just kidding.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

I think this post may be the last time I write about personal experiences. You should have resisted ..

[SteeleJoe]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

Oh, sure. Her "brother"...

Sorry, couldn't resist. Just kidding.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

I think this post may be the last time I write about personal experiences. You should have resisted ..

Seriously? You took offense at that?

With all due respect I think you're being way too sensitive: it was meant 100% as a joke (I actually thought it was a pretty good one precisely because it wasn't true and meant as an ironic comment on the classic case of the "brother" but also the people who always assume the worst).

Nonetheless I sincerely apologize. Not only did I not genuinely not meant to imply anything about your family, I didn't even think it. (As I said earlier, I believed your story and enjoyed it)

[manxninja]

If a person has to ask what should i bring or expect then the relationship is already doomed.

I just turned up and went with the flow it was all good. Few beers talked some shit to parents as you do.

Why expect anything dont go so deep its just life.

PS have a good time.

[TheFishman1]

IF they have like 3 pigs and a few chickens just say sure I will buy them and give them to the family now if the Pigs are behind there house don't worry they sell them many times you won't be eating them LOL Have Fun Brother D

[Semper]

Money, whisky and cigarettes.. and lots of money.. oh dont forget the money.. and yeah bring some cash dude!

Maybe if your "girlfriend" is a hooker and from a low moral family.

Last time I had a girlfriend from Issan and visited the family they refused to let me pay for anything. Really amazing hospitality and a great family. Dad is in the army and the mother is a french teacher.

I wouldn't respect anyone that tries to fleece a guest.

Just curious, who would want to learn French in Isaan?

[jaapfries]

I just finished typing out a fairly long and reasonably coherent post on this and then moved my mouse the wrong way and wound up on a sponsor's site with the post gone…so now to do a quicker and more slapdash effort before bed:

Some of you are, to my mind, remarkably bitter and contemptuous about this whole thing. In my 30 years experiencing this country, I've made the Isarn trip with a few different Thai GFs. I've never experienced the worst of what was described above and indeed found the experience far more pleasant than not.

I've made the trip without sufficient funds to be even a little bit generous and was treated with warmth and generosity. On occasions when I had more money, I never offered myself up to be exploited, was not visibly expected to, and received no ill treatment as a result of that (rather was again, treated well).

I hesitate to say this, and even apologize for doing so, but I can't help but feel that the more extreme sorts of things some of you had happen is very possibly an indication of something about your behavior or choices and/or the woman whom you accompanied. I personally would never allow myself to be disrespected in such ways nor would I spend any time with a woman who allowed me to be or was actively complicit in it.

Were there ever any instances of behavior by relatives, neighbors or hangers on that I found unpleasant or even intolerable? Absolutely (mostly; though not exclusively, confined to inordinate and downright rude scrutiny and objectification). But my displeasure was quickly picked up on by the woman I was with or I spoke of it to her in a diplomatic and discrete way and it was dealt with.

I always had a good time. It never cost me a lot (and no more than I was willing and able to spend – which, trust me, aint all that much).

Guess u didn't spend enough during those issan trips.

Maybe that's y u had to go there with different gfs.

Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App

@SteeleJoe: I would disregard that last 'sour' statement, if I were you; that OP has obviously sunk to the lower levels !

I've only been in Thailand 21 years (as opposed to your 30) and have gained some valuable experiences.

The point about the "quality" of one's GF is a very valid point and well made; that's where the entire experience starts & stops.

What a lot of Foreigners don;t understand is that you can never compare these type of situations with the one's 'back-home': it is, quiet literally a totally different world here.

I too used to get a bit upset when, just after we've arrived at the parent's home - and - re-stocked the fridges with stuff also meant for our 3 day visit and then Uncles & Aunties simply open said fridges and take-out & consume certain items. My wife then calmly explained that this is 'normal' in the countryside, since (amongst family) whatever is yours, is also theirs and vice-versa. - Then I made the point that most of these family-members did not even have a fridge themwelves . . . . then my wife explained that, while we are back home, in Jomtien, in our comfortable home and going about our jobs, and then one night, in the middle of the night, our Father or Mother falls seriously ill, who did I think would take them to the hospital: exactly; those same family-members and neigbours, who I witnessed "raiding" the fridges . . . . . There are no "emergency services" in the middle of nowhere and people can only rely on each other. Then I thought; yep: then that's a very small price to pay indeed ! !

Sure: people in 'Nakhon Nowhere' do drink a hell-of-a-lot, when the day's work is done (work I would not be able to do for more than 10 minutes ! !) - but then you have to take into consideration that these people have NOTHING to look forward to; they've been ripped-off by their Landlords; Rice-Coops; et all and have no idea they are being plundered ! ! They live, basically, in permanent "camping-mode", WITHOUT any light at the end of their tunnel: I'm honest with you; I would drink like a fish, smoke Mariuhana and even take Yaba - just to escape from my miserable life, even if it was for just an evening . . . . . .

It's a very sad state of affairs, in the poorer areas of Thailand and I, for one, pity the people who are irreversibly "glued" into that situation.

Think: they all watch TV and observe their Thai compatriots in Bangkok living a life of wealth; driving Benzes & Porches; living in Palace-like homes . . . . and here YOU are in a dusty little village, living in a 'thing' made of rubbish, surrounded by rubbish and barely making enough money to exist ! !

I have a huge amount of respect for these folks and when I go to the village, I behave like that !

[xen]

With my gf when we went to meet the family we discussed how much we could afford for the party and how much per day we would spend and so i gave her an amount we were both happy with and she had the freedom to spend which ever way she wanted - 50% food, 50% whisky or whatever. It ended up more like 80 % food and a few cases of Beer . It seemed everybody was happy with that arrangement .

We stuck to that budget and it was not outrageous by any means but it also showed that i respected her as being able to control the household finances and she was also the one to handle the loan applications from the cousins. After the first couple of refusals the applications dwindled.

We also slipped her father a bit extra when nobody else was around as he needed some cash but he never asked for any . One of the nicest blokes i have ever meet.

[Gary A]

Since many of the experts have already posted, I was going to refrain from posting. However, since upcountry village Thai people have been very much badly generalized, I will tell how it is.

When you make a visit, of course you will be the center of attention. This is actually a good way to test your girlfriend or maybe future wife. My first visit was about 9 years ago but I doubt things have changed. Changes in Issan culture come slowly.

To make along story short, I let my wife take care of everything. I was surprised at how generous the family was. They had treats to eat that they normally wouldn't have and my then girlfriend knew they couldn't afford those treats. I had the first pick and the best of everything. They supplied me with enough pillows that sitting on them was almost like sitting in a chair.

My glass and plate were never empty and I had to urge my wife to send the junior family members out to buy more booze. I was never asked for anything. I was actually embarrassed to be catered to as I was.

If your experience was much different from this, perhaps you picked a gold digger and should reconsider your choice of women.

[SlyAnimal]

Just turn up, be open minded.

They will make you feel really welcome and at home. They will want to admire your white skin and big nose all the time, so don't feel weird if old ladies come up to you and want to touch your arm all the time. They will literally offer you the shirt off their back to try and make you feel comfortable.

You will probably need to sleep without aircon, just a fan, maybe even on the floor with just a mattress, maybe in a communal room with only mosquito nets separating you from the other family members.

You will probably have to have a cold, bucket shower instead of a regular shower, you will probably have to use a squat toilet with no toilet paper, just a bucket of water.

They will probably want to show you how to pick rice, as it's harvesting season at the moment, so they might want you to pick rice with them. You can have a brief go at it, after which if it's your cup of tea keep going, otherwise they will understand that you're not used to farming.

Money wise, you should offer to pay if there is an invoice delivered at a restaurant or similar. As this is the first time you'll be meeting your gf's friends/family, thus Thai culture says that you should show them that you're financially able to support your gf and that you're happy to meet her friends/family. On subsequent outings, this isn't a requirement, and bills will be split equally. However, while you're at her family home, her family will likely pay for everything, since you're their guest, however if you can offer to pay then that'd be nice, particularly if you can see that they are reasonably poor etc.

However the most important thing to remember, is "Mai bPen Rai", just keep relaxed, don't lose your cool over anything. Try to relax and enjoy everything.

[Crazy canadian]

Ok folks.. So yesterday I meet the family very welcoming and as posted above did everything to make me comfortable brought out the fans and everything I had to buy 1bottle of cola and Thai wiskey for good luck for us and donation of 2000 baht then proceeded to the market with gf and her sister and friend picked up snacks and wine coolers and a case of Chang total at market 750 baht or so then back to small dusty village where we laughed and had I great time everyone called me by my name and never herd the farang word once. The father and mother I meet before the party took place they were working out in the fields father was tugging on a few buffalo and mother was cutting rice, with the son in-law, and yes I gave it a go they thought it was pretty funny but I didn't hold back was great then took a ride out with son in law on the 2 wheel tractor thing with wagon. Proceeded back to the homestead and meet more people .. All went well so far...

[klikster]

When I first actually met my wife for the first time we had been communicating by email for 4-5 months. I drove to her city and checked into a hotel. A few days later she suggested I move to her room in brother's very nice home. Stayed for days, spent no money on anyone except my lady friend. Actually, I did sponsor a basket of flowers and modest gift of food (from the wife) for MIL at Christmas.

After we decided to marry, I moved back to the city and stayed in brother's house for several weeks while looking for a rental. I don't actually remember spending any money on them -- actually felt a bit guilty.

But I did recently lend the BIL my Honda weed whacker -- but he has to buy his own gasoline.

Been living together for 4 years (married for 3). No sinsot. No wedding ceremony. No party.

Please don't attempt to stigmatize all Issan women because of the unfortunate attitudes of a few.

Oh, sure. Her "brother"...

Sorry, couldn't resist. Just kidding.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

I think this post may be the last time I write about personal experiences. You should have resisted ..

Seriously? You took offense at that?

With all due respect I think you're being way too sensitive: it was meant 100% as a joke (I actually thought it was a pretty good one precisely because it wasn't true and meant as an ironic comment on the classic case of the "brother" but also the people who always assume the worst).

Nonetheless I sincerely apologize. Not only did I not genuinely not meant to imply anything about your family, I didn't even think it. (As I said earlier, I believed your story and enjoyed it)

I seldom take offense at innuendo coming in my direction. After all, I'm the one posting.

But innuendo concerning the character of my wife is extremely offensive to me.

It seems that making a joke on TV is all important to you. You even doubled down with another zinger, using a description about the house that I hadn't used in my post.

As far as your enjoyment and belief of my post, I don't give a d_mn!

[Songhua]

Ok folks.. So yesterday I meet the family very welcoming and as posted above did everything to make me comfortable brought out the fans and everything I had to buy 1bottle of cola and Thai wiskey for good luck for us and donation of 2000 baht then proceeded to the market with gf and her sister and friend picked up snacks and wine coolers and a case of Chang total at market 750 baht or so then back to small dusty village where we laughed and had I great time everyone called me by my name and never herd the farang word once. The father and mother I meet before the party took place they were working out in the fields father was tugging on a few buffalo and mother was cutting rice, with the son in-law, and yes I gave it a go they thought it was pretty funny but I didn't hold back was great then took a ride out with son in law on the 2 wheel tractor thing with wagon. Proceeded back to the homestead and meet more people .. All went well so far...

Well Done. Sounds like you had a great time!

May I ask though, what was the donation of 2000 for - or did you mean just a little something for the mum?

[linno2]

Well the fact you have been invited home is to some degree significant. Your GF is willing to introduce you to the family so that actually means something. She is taking a risk by having you visit - as she will lose face if you never visit again. There is often a lot of drining and it may be good form to bring a bottle of foreign alcohol. If not buy a local bottle of Sang Som or Regency if you are flash. The smokes (foreign brand) may also go down very well. Remember to consider the alpha male in the family grouping and to give these items to him for distribution. This shows respect of a kind and may auger well for your futre - assuming you want a future!? But I agree with the former advice to be yourself and to be polite and show respect. Folks will recognize this and give great latitude for any technical transgression of culture, custom and practice. If you are intrested ask to look around the village - the village spirit house, the Wat (temple) and enything else that may be of interest in the specific village or town. Try the local food - perhaps even raise a toast to the hosts if appropriate. Wear reasonable clothes - especially at the Wat. Just be an OK person and it will all go well. Good luck!

[jpinx]

Ok folks.. So yesterday I meet the family very welcoming and as posted above did everything to make me comfortable brought out the fans and everything I had to buy 1bottle of cola and Thai wiskey for good luck for us and donation of 2000 baht then proceeded to the market with gf and her sister and friend picked up snacks and wine coolers and a case of Chang total at market 750 baht or so then back to small dusty village where we laughed and had I great time everyone called me by my name and never herd the farang word once. The father and mother I meet before the party took place they were working out in the fields father was tugging on a few buffalo and mother was cutting rice, with the son in-law, and yes I gave it a go they thought it was pretty funny but I didn't hold back was great then took a ride out with son in law on the 2 wheel tractor thing with wagon. Proceeded back to the homestead and meet more people .. All went well so far...

Very happy for you dude......

[Satcommlee]

If you have a pick-up leave it behind and rent a small car, then no worries about having to drive 20 of them to the local restaurant then.

On a serious note, ignore a lot of what is said here, it's not that bad but incredibly boring.

But do scrutinise anyone introduced to you as her brother carefully

[Lickey]

Yes, very boring, we went the the marrkkkettt tttoodddaayyyy ect ect So OP, is this the biggest step you have ever taken in your life?? living with an ISSAN family who live day to day? whoes motto is Tomorrow is promised to no-one,

[farangme]

If you have a pick-up leave it behind and rent a small car, then no worries about having to drive 20 of them to the local restaurant then.

On a serious note, ignore a lot of what is said here, it's not that bad but incredibly boring.

But do scrutinise anyone introduced to you as her brother carefully

Get a smart phone with internet access over a mobile network. It will do wonders to keep from getting bored.

Sent from my PC36100 using Thaivisa Connect App

[bina]

actually, its not the alpha male, usually it is 'meh' i.e. mother. mothers control the family the fathers knd of do their own thing (males do male things , women do women things whixh are usually more about the house, money, food, education). men do the fishing, hanging out together, drinking togetrher, mixing and mingling and doing business (all of it orally, not written, agreements are done verbally).

if u are into philosophical converstation then u will be bored. if u can 'lower' yourself to 'fishing, sports, fighting chickens, food, some politics, and ask a lot of 'show me' questions, u wont be bored. for girls, mostly i found the girly stuff: food, baby info (baby walks, when did he start..., clothing, hair, fat/thin, white/dark, whatever.)

i spent a lot of time asking about the cows with long ears, the buffalo, what do they feed their babies at different ages (rember every culture has its own dos and donts of what baby eats at what age), and be prepared for the most irritating of questions (they will come soon enough) 'do u have a brother/friend/sister/daughter i want to meet/marry/go visit'... happens even here in israel among all the thais, enought that it drives hubby nuts

[farang000999]

If your experience was much different from this, perhaps you picked a gold digger and should reconsider your choice of women.

You guys keep saying this over and over. Only gold diggers have greedy family members? Only gold diggers have aunts and uncles who have sold away their inheritance? Only gold diggers have uneducated members of their family with unrealistic and selfish expectations of what they deserve from a farang who married into the family? All my wife does is fight with her Isaan side of the family. I think they must have locked you in a room up there 9 years ago, your life perspective is so limited.

[Boyce]

OP i live in Surin, go to cambodia instead.

[Lickey]

Yep, go to Cambodia, get a leg blown off, then marry Paul McCartney, or has he had enough of 1 legged gold diggers??

[Geekfreaklover]

Hope the OP enjoys the rest of his visit.

However.

One thing to consider, if the reationship is to continue, is where the OP sees himself in a year, or five years time? At 25 he has his life ahead of him. His girlfriend's career is in the bar. Would she she be prepared to live a different life? Away from the village, away from the Pattaya bars?...I am not flaming here... It is a serious question. What are their long term plans? Or perhaps it is just a roll in the hay. If so, fine. Good. Enjoy it. If not. Beware. Most of the bargirls retired up there in Surin have serious sugardaddies who have sold all their assets and invested into the village. Plus pensions. Try competing with that as a young wipper snapper and the gf will lose face big time. It's a fiscal world up there.

Edited November 17, 2012 by Geekfreaklover