For You All Soap Dodgers

[Kan Win]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg lifts etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.

Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire size of willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

Spend majority of time washing your privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECUASE MOST OF IT IS TRUE!!!!

[daleyboy]

an oldie but it never fails to make me chukcle

[ThaiPauly]

Cool

[markuk]

You forgot how to shower like a Katoey.

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing nothing.

If you see your partner along the way, cover up any breasts with those extra big hands and shake willy at them making the "woo-woo" sound.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, admire size of willy and scratch your bum -make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg lifts and stroking....

Get in the shower.

Wash your armpits and breasts

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

Spend majority of time washing your privates and surrounding area.

Shave armpits and legs, bum and face.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy and breast size in mirror again.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

If you pass partner again pull off towel, shake willy at them and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Edited February 17, 2006 by markuk