A Helping Hand For Fellow Expatriate

[Thaising]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

[Jockstar]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

So what you trying to say?

[BKKGuitar]

Did anyone see the farang (white, male, thin, around 30) sitting at the Chit Lom BTS stop around Christmas time with a sign that said something like "Help me to go back home, I am short 6,000 baht..." or something like that? Saw him there 4 or 5 times.

We suspected he was raising funds to return to his favorite pub, but who knows... Thais looked shocked to see him sitting there in any case.

Well, to answer your question, we passed him by every time, giving nothing.

[Thaising]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

So what you trying to say?

What am I trying to said is, since there is a party called thai rak thai, I was wondering is there farang rak farang which help each other in time of trouble.

[Mobi]

I've had a couple of experiences with desperate farangs in Thialand. The first was in pretty bad financial shape, with Thai wife, kids etc. I volunteered to help him set up a little export business, bank rolled the whole thing, got my family and friends inveloved in the Uk and S. Africa. He just sat on his arse and did nothing. I did all the work and I was the one who retired early due to ill health. All my friends told me to pull the plug, so I did. He's still surviving - found some other stupid muts to help keep him alive.

The second had a Thai wife dying of AIDs and had no job and no money to pay the bills. I lent him a large sum of money. The wife died, but then he got a pretty decent job. This was 2 years ago; he never calls me, or makes any attempt to repay even a little of the debt.

I'm not saying your case is similar to the above, but to answer your question - next time I will be very wary indeed in helping a farang in Thailand - I think they tend to go native - especially when they're broke.

[Jockstar]

One question: Would you do it in your own country? If it wasn't a friend. I know i wouldnt probably. But then again i have no money to give.

[Sing_Sling]

It's very unfortunate, but I've been stung twice - once in Thailand and once here in Singapore, both Brits by coincidence.

I'd proably help again, but only if I knew the person.

[Mobi]

One question: Would you do it in your own country? If it wasn't a friend. I know i wouldnt probably. But then again i have no money to give.

Well, in my own country, and I assume your's - the Uk - they would have a lot of social service sytems to support them. Nothing like that in Thailand - bit of a diffrent ball game.

[Tippaporn]

My wife's oldest sister was hooked up with a farang from the Netherlands. He came over with very little, stayed for a year, opened a karaoke club with my wife's sister up near Loei, failed at the business but didn't fail at having a kid with her, and then overstayed his visa for 6 months. He needed to go back home to work and save some money so I decided to help out since my wife's sister just delivered the baby and I figured this guy was sincere about taking responsibility. I paid for his overstay fine and bought him a ticket back home. He promised to pay me back within a month.

Haven't heard from him since (now over two years).

I've been burned too many times helping people out. I've come to the realization that giving away free money doesn't work well. I'm much more careful these days.

[Mobi]

It's very unfortunate, but I've been stung twice - once in Thailand and once here in Singapore, both Brits by coincidence.

I'd proably help again, but only if I knew the person.

My two were both Brits - and I had known them for years and counted them as close friends... Oh dear!

[Chopper]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

Jockstar, is this a hypothetical situation or do you know of such a person. My view would be a.

I would meet the bloke first and see what he is like. Then he if was prepared to do some work; if he is a competent handyman I would pay him an agreed rate dependant on his ability at the end of each task. Providing I had some work to offer as I do from time to time.

[Jockstar]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

Jockstar, is this a hypothetical situation or do you know of such a person. My view would be a.

I would meet the bloke first and see what he is like. Then he if was prepared to do some work; if he is a competent handyman I would pay him an agreed rate dependant on his ability at the end of each task. Providing I had some work to offer as I do from time to time.

Chopper. Think you have mixed me up with the OP.

[Noel]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

How much do you need?

Only kidding.

Being serious, over the years I have financially helped out three farang when down on their luck.

I knew them all well and I am not talking insignificant amounts.

All three got back on their feet and all three have conveniently forgotten how they all but begged for help: no effort to pay a penny back and, when confronted, nothing but empty promises.

Two have now moved on and the one still in town avoids me at all costs (no pun intended).

He literally ran out of Big C when he last saw me.

Hard-hearted as it may sound, it would have to be a very special case for me to even consider helping anyone again without them putting up legally realisable collateral.

[Chopper]

Chopper. Think you have mixed me up with the OP.

Yes my mistake I am still half asleep!

[N&M]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

Does he speak Thai, if so how well, is he in Bangkok or ? You mentioned handyman, how handy ? and what kind of handy experienced ?

Is this just hypothetical ? Do you know someone in this case ? Is it you ? You can PM if you like, I may have a job for someone if they have the qualities I need.

[sierra01]

Flipping heck we're a bad lot!

The other side of the coin, I helped a close Thai friend out with a loan of 50,000bt, to help her over some problems. She promised to repay it within 3 months, after 2 months she gave me 35,000bt, then the rest a month later. She wanted to give some interest as well, but I told her where to get off, in a nice way of course

In answer to Jockstar, yes I would, or rather yes I did. He was a very good friend, so good that I gave him money when he was down on his luck, it was not a loan and I didn't want repaying. A few years later the situation was reversed, and he helped me.

[Chopper]

Indicative of most of the responses thus far I also know of people that have been burned. That is why I would think very carefully about why and to whom I would give. I have come across all sorts people that have no cash for food or a hotel room even. It is truly amazing the amount of people down on their luck in Pattaya from a broad spectrum of nationalities.

Where I have been asked money for food or a hotel room (a couple of times) and I have known the person though more in passing rather than as a friend or acquaintance I have taken them to eat and watched them eat the meal, or physically checked them into a small hotel for a few nights. Just to get them back on their feet was all the individuals needed until money was supposedly being wired.

To just give money blindly in my estimation would be unwise as it is more than possible being Pattaya that it will go straight on drugs or spent at the nearest bar.

Though from reading the OP's post it seems this fellow hypothetical or not seems to need more long term assistance.

Giving to a charity is a different kettle of fish like the Camillion Centre that was widely promoted on the board last November. Now there is a cause that is both worthy of time and money. I have been there a few times and is well worth a visit. You can read about the Camillion Centre Here.

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

I would help them help themselves, IF they were a good a close friend I would help them get back to their country to get a job. Like I work in Iraq for a contractor, I had one friend in a similar situation, I went to his house to talk about how I could help, and he was drunk off his ass and never even got his resume together for me to get him over here. I had a job lined up for him handing out towles to soldiures at the gym and refereeing basketball games for $80,000 a year tax free. And he wanted ME to WRITE his resume too!

It hurt but I don't talk to him anymore...I wanted to help, he helped me when I was down, but I steped up to the plate to help myself as well.

[zzap]

I am very reluctant to give money to anyone I haven't known well for a long time, been burned before.

Any other kind of assistance, yes, if I can be of help without putting myself out to much.

[Kerryd]

Too many scammers out there with bleeding heart stories, kind of like those Nigerian scam letters.

Best way to lose a friend is to lend him money.

How many times has someone scammed others out of their money using some kind of story, when they usually only have themselves to blame ? How many people have been suckered into buying half-interest in a bar, only to find that 49 other people also own a half interest in it ?

This place has to be the asian hub of (foreigner) scam artists.

I have only run into one foreigner here that was in bad shape. He'd borrow from one friend, than a week later borrow a larger sum from a different friend so he could pay back the 1st guy and still have drinking money. A week or so later, he'd borrow an even larger sum from someone else and repeat the cycle.

He eventually ran out of people to borrow from and went back to England (that plus he was in bad shape health-wise from doing nothing but drink everyday). I wouldn't lend him a satang.

One of the Thai women in my building needed to borrow some money (20,000) to lend out to other people. She promised to pay it back at the end of the month and sure enough she did. I told her to skip the interest she was planning on giving me (she also owns the building I'm in, so I felt pretty safe lending her the money).

Another one needed 7,000 awhile back. I lent it to her, not sure if I'd see it again. Every couple of days, she'd come up with 500-1,000 baht until she had paid it all back (no, she's not a bar girl, she runs a little convenience store in her shop house).

Not that I'd lend money to just any Thai, or give preference to a Thai over a farang. A couple of my (Thai) friends have warned me against lending money to one Thai guy, as he has apparently borrowed from them and never paid it back. He hasn't asked me for any (yet).

[Heng]

My policy has always been, "sure I can help you out, perhaps find you some work, but it can't be with funds." Eventually the word gets out and then the moochers know to stay away and the only folks that approach you for funds are those really looking to work.

[boppia]

I honestly try to avoid people like this if possible especially people who come looking for cash. Of course I would help a friend but there are limits. We all have limits. Would you give all the money on your bank account to help someone you know fight cancer? Cancer they got from drinking too much or smoking too much? How about a relative who got cancer? Would you give all your security away? Tough decision. We all will have to make it someday. Sometimes we just have to let nature take its course.

[ThaiPauly]

I leant a very large sum of money to a guy I had known out here for a few months. Brit by the way, down on his luck.

Paid me back with interest over a year, not all people are bad.

Just 80% I would guess

[Tippaporn]

<snip>I had a job lined up for him handing out towles to soldiures at the gym and refereeing basketball games for $80,000 a year tax free. <snip>

BTW, Cap, is that job still available . . . . ?

[rishi]

There're quite many truly needy people out there. I can't help them all - I have to be very selective. If one of those truly needy people should ask me for help - it wouldn't count positively he was a farlang. I'd rather save my money for a truly needy Thai

[alexth]

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

Modified, give him some money, explain that he should not be ashamed for he's bad luck, socializing, I don't know how many farangs could give him a job, I couldn't, but some help would be much appreciaed.

[markuk]

I wouldnt help, and before everyone says what if you were in the same situation?

1) I wouldnt get myself in that situation

2) I would go home of i had problems that i couldnt deal with

[opothai]

If you come across a fellow expatriate who is desperate for help, would you help him to survive in LOS. Since he is rooted here with two lovely kids and an understanding wife, and because he was cheated off his life saving by some scoundrel, the whole family has to gone through hardship. Furthermore, he will not take any donation without doing anything in return just because he is a man of principle.

Now, the question is:

a. Would you help and give him a job, if he is a handyman that are willing to take whatever works that is available for a reasonable fee.

b. Give him some money and ask him to go off.

c. Just ignore him like, I heard nothing, I see nothing and say nothing.

Care to give your comment and opinion, if you came across such person that is desperate.

Jockstar, is this a hypothetical situation or do you know of such a person. My view would be a.

I would meet the bloke first and see what he is like. Then he if was prepared to do some work; if he is a competent handyman I would pay him an agreed rate dependant on his ability at the end of each task. Providing I had some work to offer as I do from time to time.

so far the best reply to the original op, in as much as you can give him a helping hand only if he helps himself.

i have lost before helping with money but now if people want help i can always find them some sort of employment and if they don't take it then i feel i have made an offer and it has been refused.

the worse thing to do imho is lose faith in all people

Edited February 20, 2006 by opothai

[siamamerican]

Probably won't be the last time he asks for help. I've only lent money once in Thailand. He would pay me back, but would always get in aother financial pinch. I finally told him no and haven't heard from him since.

[rcalsop]

I never lend money ....never .I have given money as a gift to friends and they have remained friends . The majority have returned the gift to me later I normally link this to a gift or bank deposit to the kids , that is I refuse the return but suggest a deposit into the kids bank if they insist . the amounts are never that big because of the gift thinking , it helps control it a bit .