Our Progress In Our Sober Runs

[JemJem]

Okay, folks, the OP (me) is back

Well, so far so good. Today is sober day no. 53 for me. I have had some mini-crises during that period, such as bad news regarding my teeth (the month of March will see me spend several sessions at the dentist, with some serious toothwork to be done) and also the never-ending fricking noise due to some renovation work at the apartment building I am staying at (the frickin' noise started a week after I moved in there and it has been going on, off and on for nearly 3 months !!! To my bad luck, it will probably end, shortly after I leave the place).

So, anyway, there have been 3-4 times of moderate-to-strong level of urge to drink but I have managed to stay sober.

My social/nightlife sucks though ! Since I started this sober run. I just haven't been able to bring myself to entering a nightclub/danceclub. I just didn't feel like it and this has upset me because I would like to go and enjoy a night out at a club every now and then (not as often as during my my drinking days but for example 2-3 times a month would be nice).

Well, yes, I need to get a new hobby or two

Oh, by the way, I have been doing a lot of reading and DVD-watching in recent weeks.

[MrWorldwide]

FWIW, and I'm no expert, I think many of us need something a little more active than reading and watching DVDs. That said, we are at the tail end of Summer here and the heat/humidity has really discouraged me in the afternoons, so that leaves mornings. For those of us who arent morning people, this presents a real challenge, but I guess that's all part of swapping old habits for new. The scales both motivate and mock me, but it's an interest that differs from my usual lethargic pursuits.

This will be a real challenge for me when I retire next year - even more free time and hot/humid days outside - but even Sukhumvit Rd in BKK can be an interesting walk first thing in the morning, before the stalls and foot traffic turn it into an obstacle course. Patts has the promenade along Beach Road - often chockers with walkers and runners from 7am on - and Hua Hin has miles of beachfront. It's all good.

[gerryBScot]

Today is sober day no. 53 for me. I have had some mini-crises during that period, such as bad news regarding my teeth (the month of March will see me spend several sessions at the dentist, with some serious toothwork to be done) and also the never-ending fricking noise due to some renovation work at the apartment building I am staying at (the frickin' noise started a week after I moved in there and it has been going on, off and on for nearly 3 months !!! To my bad luck, it will probably end, shortly after I leave the place).

They say in AA to give it in 90 days and then decide if you want to revisit booze. So well done on your progress Jemjem. Also, excellent that you have started looking after yourself and getting your gnashers fixed. It's certainly been my experience that comparatively trivial things have the ability to get me on the threshold of drinking: lived through bereavement, and other stressful stuff without too many problems, but trip over a lace or stub my toe on concrete and in a split second I can be a raging lunatic. It was in those situations in the first couple of years of sobriety that I felt like drinking! I'll be eternally grateful to AA for introducing me to the concept of resentment specifically that resentment kills more alcoholics than any other reason with the accompanying advice that basically I should deal with resentments immediately. I now understand that anger and belligerence was my default mental state, dressed up with a smile, but deep down I was brimming over with it. Resentful to and raging about people for years....... I still have to work at this today and in fact life in THailand presents many challenges and situations which can easily reduce me to a raging lunatic. However I am much calmer today and much less likely to explode! Honest. Keep posting and talking us through your journey. It helps me. Many thanks

[JemJem]

I am not saying to myself strictly that I will never drink. There might come a time when I feel that I am ready to drink again, in moderation (for example, when I want to drink a beer that I like, along with some nice meal; I mean, drinking and enjoying the taste of beer, rather than drinking beer mainly or just for the alcohol in it, as I did in my binges). And, in such cases, I would like to drink no more than, say, the equivalent of 2 large sized bottles typically found in Thailand. But right now, that day is not near for me.

Some of you (especially AA folks) might criticise me for having said the above thought (ie. leaving the door open to drinking again) but I like to be sincere and honest; and hey, I am open to criticism

I think that typically for heavy drinkers, there are 2 types of 'reducing the alcohol intake' : 1)drinking only once or twice a month, as compared to about 7-10 times a month, but again drinking a lot in those 1-2 times ; 2) drinking regularly, say, once or twice a week, but drinking only in moderation,ie. never ever getting drunk.

For me, I think I never want to do the first one but for the second one, I might go for it, if I think I am ready.

I think that for many people, it IS POSSIBLE to go from being a heavy drinker to drinking in moderation but it is NOT easy and requires determination and self-control.

I just wanted to share these thoughts. I want my sober run to still last indefinitely, as of now.

[naboo]

I'm drinking 2 or 3 days a week now.

Tonight I was going to, but went for the orange juice instead, a choice I've made regularly, whereas before I would buy a beer every time the thought occurred. This is how I want it to continue. My problem is, I know a change of routine - like next week having no work on - and I'm easily back to nearly every night.

So next week I'm filling my time with alternatives - seeing an old friend near Tak with two days of motorbike riding around it, planned a hike early Saturday morning. Sunday night I'm going to watch the local football team which will hopefully take me up to 9pm and I'll choose to go to bed.

Its all about filling my time really. If bored, I'm out and about! Just hopefully not to where they're selling beer...

[smutcakes]

One of the main problems with this damn sober malarkey is i feel so fresh and healthy, I feel like a beer all the time. When i was constantly hungover there were times when I just did not want one thankfully.

I have always normally been a morning drinker and early sleeper rather than a night owl, but now I am awake and full of beans at 4 am every morning, and could quite happily head to an early morning bar to sup a few beers as the sun rises. Luckily I am working at the moment, but it still sounds like a nice idea I will try and be content with a morning session a couple of times a year, Songkran and Christmas.

[GrahamF]

I am not saying to myself strictly that I will never drink. There might come a time when I feel that I am ready to drink again, in moderation (for example, when I want to drink a beer that I like, along with some nice meal; I mean, drinking and enjoying the taste of beer, rather than drinking beer mainly or just for the alcohol in it, as I did in my binges). And, in such cases, I would like to drink no more than, say, the equivalent of 2 large sized bottles typically found in Thailand. But right now, that day is not near for me.

Some of you (especially AA folks) might criticise me for having said the above thought (ie. leaving the door open to drinking again) but I like to be sincere and honest; and hey, I am open to criticism

I think that typically for heavy drinkers, there are 2 types of 'reducing the alcohol intake' : 1)drinking only once or twice a month, as compared to about 7-10 times a month, but again drinking a lot in those 1-2 times ; 2) drinking regularly, say, once or twice a week, but drinking only in moderation,ie. never ever getting drunk.

For me, I think I never want to do the first one but for the second one, I might go for it, if I think I am ready.

I think that for many people, it IS POSSIBLE to go from being a heavy drinker to drinking in moderation but it is NOT easy and requires determination and self-control.

I just wanted to share these thoughts. I want my sober run to still last indefinitely, as of now.

For what it's worth, I know a lot of people, myself included, who after a period of abstinence felt they could drink "normally." In my case I stopped for a year and then resumed drinking, and for a while I did drink normally, eventually I began to drink more and more and was off to the races again. Some people may be able to resume drinking normally, I wasn't one of them.

One thing I have learned is that drinking is not my problem (I'm quite good at it actually!) my drinking was a symptom of my problems and how I dealt with them. Some people drink out of boredom, others, as mentioned earlier, drink out of resentments, it can be a myriad of things. What I would suggest, during this period of abstinence, is trying to figure out why you drank to excess.

In regards to your social life sucking, I feel that if you do figure out what the reasons are for your drinking, and deal with them, that down the road you will be able to resume a more normal social life. I certainly have, in fact, I spent the last two months out in Thailand and I was in and out of bars, nightclubs, etc, etc, all the time and I didn't drink and I didn't want to, and I still had fun. For now, I think you are doing the right thing by staying away from bars, etc. Take this time to work on yourself.

Best of luck to all of you trying to cut back or cut out their drinking!

[JemJem]

I am not saying to myself strictly that I will never drink. There might come a time when I feel that I am ready to drink again, in moderation (for example, when I want to drink a beer that I like, along with some nice meal; I mean, drinking and enjoying the taste of beer, rather than drinking beer mainly or just for the alcohol in it, as I did in my binges). And, in such cases, I would like to drink no more than, say, the equivalent of 2 large sized bottles typically found in Thailand. But right now, that day is not near for me.

Some of you (especially AA folks) might criticise me for having said the above thought (ie. leaving the door open to drinking again) but I like to be sincere and honest; and hey, I am open to criticism

I think that typically for heavy drinkers, there are 2 types of 'reducing the alcohol intake' : 1)drinking only once or twice a month, as compared to about 7-10 times a month, but again drinking a lot in those 1-2 times ; 2) drinking regularly, say, once or twice a week, but drinking only in moderation,ie. never ever getting drunk.

For me, I think I never want to do the first one but for the second one, I might go for it, if I think I am ready.

I think that for many people, it IS POSSIBLE to go from being a heavy drinker to drinking in moderation but it is NOT easy and requires determination and self-control.

I just wanted to share these thoughts. I want my sober run to still last indefinitely, as of now.

For what it's worth, I know a lot of people, myself included, who after a period of abstinence felt they could drink "normally." In my case I stopped for a year and then resumed drinking, and for a while I did drink normally, eventually I began to drink more and more and was off to the races again. Some people may be able to resume drinking normally, I wasn't one of them.

One thing I have learned is that drinking is not my problem (I'm quite good at it actually!) my drinking was a symptom of my problems and how I dealt with them. Some people drink out of boredom, others, as mentioned earlier, drink out of resentments, it can be a myriad of things. What I would suggest, during this period of abstinence, is trying to figure out why you drank to excess.

In regards to your social life sucking, I feel that if you do figure out what the reasons are for your drinking, and deal with them, that down the road you will be able to resume a more normal social life. I certainly have, in fact, I spent the last two months out in Thailand and I was in and out of bars, nightclubs, etc, etc, all the time and I didn't drink and I didn't want to, and I still had fun. For now, I think you are doing the right thing by staying away from bars, etc. Take this time to work on yourself.

Best of luck to all of you trying to cut back or cut out their drinking!

Thanks.

The reasons.......well, I am quite an introvert/shy type of person and that had been the main reason why I got drunk. Boredom and being upset with somebody/somebody had been other reasons. But, the main reason (and the reason why I had started to drink a lot in the first place, when I was in my early twenties) had been my shyness; and especially between the ages 22-40, my drinking sessions had almost always involved going to some bars and clubs (usually starting drinking at a quiet, outdoors kind of place or at a snooker/pool club and then heading for pubs/bars/clubs). So, anyway, my main reason was to overcome my shyness and be more 'social'.

Luckily, both due to the fact that I have finally realised how bad drinking is for my health and that I cannot handle drinking a lot as well as I had done before, combined with the fact that since a few years ago, I don't enjoy bar-hopping/clubbing as much as I had done before, I am now determined to quit or significantly reduce my alcohol intake.

It is sober day no. 55 today.

[473geo]

I try to look for positives to encourage, I cycled past a pub today, on my way to the Betting shop (I'm in the frozen UK at the moment) I often give myself a pat on the back for small wins like this, as a few years ago I would have been into the pub, watching football, swilling down the beer. and rolling out at god knows what time......so I do congratulate myself on managing a change in my lifestyle, at every opportunity, and I can enjoy this being the case. I think not under estimating what you achieve is very important, don't be hard on yourself for any lapses, you will learn by them, give yourself deserved credit for the positives.

[JemJem]

I try to look for positives to encourage, I cycled past a pub today, on my way to the Betting shop (I'm in the frozen UK at the moment) I often give myself a pat on the back for small wins like this, as a few years ago I would have been into the pub, watching football, swilling down the beer. and rolling out at god knows what time......so I do congratulate myself on managing a change in my lifestyle, at every opportunity, and I can enjoy this being the case. I think not under estimating what you achieve is very important, don't be hard on yourself for any lapses, you will learn by them, give yourself deserved credit for the positives.

Do you think you would be able to go to a pub and have a meal, along with some soft drinks; and watch football, with no or very little urge to drink, and manage to leave the pub sober ? It's not that I am encouraging you to go for that; I am just curious

I am back home in Istanbul now (since Feb 28). Today is sober day no. 64. So far so good mostly; because I have had very few times of urge since day 1.

[473geo]

A while ago in the UK my sisters were in my area (one came to visit her son) I was invited to stay with them for the weekend in a hotel. One sister in particular can be quite unforgiving and insistent when it comes to getting her own way!! I made a point of letting them know, while I would happily enjoy their company, I would not be drinking. She basically said I couldn't have a night out without having a drink with them, and scoffed at the idea of a drink free night for me. But on three occasions we were in public houses to eat, and they to drink also, I was quite proud of the fact that I never touched a drop. On one occasion when my nephew was present he actually did not drink either! So I took great strength from the fact that despite immense pressure I did not cave in. I guess experiences like this just make one stronger, success, as they say, breeds success. I have two work collegues who I often dine out with and neither drink when eating with me. I have been to works christmas parties and get togethers, where previously I would be face down in the soup before the night had gotten underway!!! Now I have experienced a few of these functions and enjoyed the evening, although not drinking, on one occasion I did have a single pint of Lager. On another occasion a few years ago I did drink and ended up having 6 pints, not out of it, and bicycled home, but it was too much to be comfortable with, a warning that I had to be in very strict control, this was the time I set the 2 drinks rule, but mostly I don't drink at all. I have about 3 times in the last 6 years had a few more than two, but I am very pleased that I have remained in reasonable shape, but yes, frighteningly near the edge. Maybe having these 'close encounters' helps my resolve? I just don't feel the need to get pissed anymore, it is great feeling.. So there you have it, a fine line we all have to travel I guess, no harm in stepping over it occasionally but always watch how far you are going and know your way back.

[473geo]

Well done Jem Jem on 64 days, great achievement, shows you do carry the strength and resolve, believe me it is worth the effort. My life is so less complicated without alcohol.

[poanoi]

I'm building my body so i cant drink much,

on an average it is probably less than once a week, and then not even getting drunk.

Getting big & strong and get rid of the gut has priority

[JemJem]

Well done Jem Jem on 64 days, great achievement, shows you do carry the strength and resolve, believe me it is worth the effort. My life is so less complicated without alcohol.

Thanks. It's still early days for me though and as I wrote earlier in this thread, I don't rule out drinking again (though never, say, more than 3 pints or so at a time and never more often than twice a week); however, for now, I want to keep the sober run going as long as possible (maybe at least till April).

The bad thing is that my social life had always mainly revolved around going to pubs/bars/clubs and getting drunk (though not as often in recent years) and I am yet to take up a new hobby/interest. I have been doing plenty of TV-watching and reading in the past 2 months but I think need to do something 'active'.

[poanoi]

Suggest you try out building body, once you know those beer calories jumped on your gut,

the beer becomes a bit more bitter, cardio to burn them off also sucks so you have two incentives to restrict beer.

training tip: for first 2 weeks, go home after 15 min no matter what,

so you dont get too sore to go back, your muscles takes some time to get use to work

[JemJem]

Suggest you try out building body, once you know those beer calories jumped on your gut,

the beer becomes a bit more bitter, cardio to burn them off also sucks so you have two incentives to restrict beer.

training tip: for first 2 weeks, go home after 15 min no matter what,

so you dont get too sore to go back, your muscles takes some time to get use to work

Thanks. But, I have always been someone who dislikes that kind of stuff. I am too lazy and I get tired easily But maybe I might enrol in some kind of dance course (a kind that doesn't require too much energy/dynamism).

[poanoi]

I like dance that doesn't require much effort from my side too, -gogo,

but i think you are lacking incentive above all.

Well i found one, there's a girl i wanna do, but i need to look like a stud for that to happen.

Your incentive may differ, but you still need some mental image i think.

[GrahamF]

Just wondering how you're all doing?

[JemJem]

Just wondering how you're all doing?

Thanks. My sober run continues (day 76 today) but I am really getting bored like this and my aim is actually NOT to go back to drinking heavily (in fact, my aim is NEVER to drink a lot, 'a lot' being an amount causing a bad hangover the following day. I might or might not set a specific limit beforehand). So, if I can manage to drink in moderation, I will be content.

Well, if it ever happens that I fail to drink in moderation and get drunk and have a bad hangover the following day, I will just consider it as a rare setback. I am 90 percent confident that I won't go back to former 'frequently-heavy-drinking days'.

[JemJem]

Let's continue to write our progress, no matter how it goes. We can't succeed all the time anyway.

[473geo]

Just wondering how you're all doing?

Thanks. My sober run continues (day 76 today) but I am really getting bored like this and my aim is actually NOT to go back to drinking heavily (in fact, my aim is NEVER to drink a lot, 'a lot' being an amount causing a bad hangover the following day. I might or might not set a specific limit beforehand). So, if I can manage to drink in moderation, I will be content.

Well, if it ever happens that I fail to drink in moderation and get drunk and have a bad hangover the following day, I will just consider it as a rare setback. I am 90 percent confident that I won't go back to former 'frequently-heavy-drinking days'.

There is nothing to stop you going out to venues as you did before, you will start the night sober as do most,what you will experience, if you stay off the drink, is how those around you who drink go through the motions of the buzz of alcohol followed by lack of cohesion and intelligent conversation, if you are still sober this is the point, you can decide if this is entertainment, you may choose to stay on a while longer, or decide as the conversation has descended into drunken slaver it is time to leave. Once you have experienced a sober night or two hopefully it will re-inforce your belief that 'getting pissed' really does no person any favours. Try it, (going out I mean not getting pissed!) you can only end up reminding yourself of the suffering you go through the following day, or alternatively create a major achievement and further your awareness.

[GrahamF]

Just wondering how you're all doing?

Thanks. My sober run continues (day 76 today) but I am really getting bored like this and my aim is actually NOT to go back to drinking heavily (in fact, my aim is NEVER to drink a lot, 'a lot' being an amount causing a bad hangover the following day. I might or might not set a specific limit beforehand). So, if I can manage to drink in moderation, I will be content.

Well, if it ever happens that I fail to drink in moderation and get drunk and have a bad hangover the following day, I will just consider it as a rare setback. I am 90 percent confident that I won't go back to former 'frequently-heavy-drinking days'.

There is nothing to stop you going out to venues as you did before, you will start the night sober as do most,what you will experience, if you stay off the drink, is how those around you who drink go through the motions of the buzz of alcohol followed by lack of cohesion and intelligent conversation, if you are still sober this is the point, you can decide if this is entertainment, you may choose to stay on a while longer, or decide as the conversation has descended into drunken slaver it is time to leave. Once you have experienced a sober night or two hopefully it will re-inforce your belief that 'getting pissed' really does no person any favours. Try it, (going out I mean not getting pissed!) you can only end up reminding yourself of the suffering you go through the following day, or alternatively create a major achievement and further your awareness.

I was thinking of the same thing as 473geo. I would only add that you might want to set up a night out with friends who respect that you are not drinking and won't try to pressure you into having one, or two, or......... I think you might find that you can have just as much fun sober as when you are drinking, perhaps more.

[gerryBScot]

Just wondering how you're all doing?

Thanks. My sober run continues (day 76 today) but I am really getting bored like this and my aim is actually NOT to go back to drinking heavily (in fact, my aim is NEVER to drink a lot, 'a lot' being an amount causing a bad hangover the following day. I might or might not set a specific limit beforehand). So, if I can manage to drink in moderation, I will be content.

Well, if it ever happens that I fail to drink in moderation and get drunk and have a bad hangover the following day, I will just consider it as a rare setback. I am 90 percent confident that I won't go back to former 'frequently-heavy-drinking days'.

Hey JemJem your day count is excellent. Just a suggestion - before you drink again go to an AA meeting and just be open-minded. Preferably go to one in a city where there are likely to be a lot of folk and no one will bother you, as it were. IN fact if you can go to a few to get a flavour of what's on offer.

I don't think anyone ever went to AA because they got drunk and woke up with a bad hangover. I think we went because inter alia we understood all the "rules", "limits" and "controls" weren't working - these come in many forms: only drink at weekends, only drink beer, only drink red wine, at least two clear days between drinking sessions, never drink on an empty stomach etc, etc. None of this is fun in real terms when you realise (or choose not to realise) that one's self-imposed controls are not working. I once tried to keep a drink diary recording how much I was drinking - it lasted three days as it became such a chore. I tried many different approaches including changing from Singha to Chang because I was getting drunk too quickly! I didn't realise Chang was actually stronger! I make this suggestion about checking out AA, and I stress it is a suggestion only, because I don't want you to throw away your new found sobriety too quickly. I used to be 95% sure I wasn't an alcoholic! Almost ten years since I last drank I think I am truly blessed to be able to say to you I am a sober alcoholic and my strength is in fact being able to say this and not drinking one day at a time.

[473geo]

Horses for courses I guess........sitting in a room being offered other peoples interpretations of a solution for my problems would more likely drive me to drink.....harsh I know...but I don't see myself as anything special, and I got to where I am on my own refusal to continue letting alcohol rule my life....because I accepted the bottom line is simple....I and I alone make and am responsible for my choices in life.

[473geo]

Gone quiet again guys, would be interesting as Jemjem said to plot your progress, even if you return to drinking, would be interesting to hear the reasoning. On another note, there have recent reports of injury/assaut to foreigners, many of them incapacitated, or at some stage in the proceedings judgement impaired by alcohol, another good reason to stay in control of your drinking, especially in a foreign country.

[gerryBScot]

Gone quiet again guys, would be interesting as Jemjem said to plot your progress, even if you return to drinking, would be interesting to hear the reasoning. On another note, there have recent reports of injury/assaut to foreigners, many of them incapacitated, or at some stage in the proceedings judgement impaired by alcohol, another good reason to stay in control of your drinking, especially in a foreign country.

The great thing for me has been that no one has ever had to tell me what I did or said in the time I have been sober. The spiked drink is a common stratagem and explains the phenomenon of blokes waking up in hotel rooms with no plastic, no passport, no money and if they are lucky a sore head; dead if they are unlucky. Life becomes so much simpler..... but that doesn't mean easy. As they say the great thing about being sober is you get your feelings, the worst thing about being sober is you get your feelings back. <ore power to your elbow.

[GrahamF]

Gone quiet again guys, would be interesting as Jemjem said to plot your progress, even if you return to drinking, would be interesting to hear the reasoning. On another note, there have recent reports of injury/assaut to foreigners, many of them incapacitated, or at some stage in the proceedings judgement impaired by alcohol, another good reason to stay in control of your drinking, especially in a foreign country.

I would hazard a guess that a lot of mishaps, injuries, etc, etc, to foreigners in Thailand have a drug or alcohol component in them somewhere.

Anyhow, I'd love to hear how everyone is doing out there. I hope all is well.

[JemJem]

Hey, folks. My sober run ended at day 77. This was about 4 weeks ago. Since then, I have had 3 more times of going out and getting drunk, plus 2 times of moderate drinking. Yes, sadly, overall in that 4-week period, that's a lot more drinking than I had hoped for.

However, another longish run starts for me (well, it started 2 days ago actually). I plan not to drink at all till May 4 (I have a ticket to a dance music event that day) and I am confident I will succeed. My aim for now is to REDUCE my overall alcohol intake and I think I have done reasonably well since late last year (but as I wrote above, this last 4-week period was not good, as I overdid the drinking).

If I can keep having occasional longish sober runs (let's say 15-60 day runs) and occasional 'only-moderate-drinking sessions', and some rare drunk times , I will consider myself quite successful and content. I know some of you might think this would not be a success but oh well, what can I say. I think I can always improve, bit by bit, anyway. And, one day, I might decide to totally quit drinking.

[473geo]

Thanks for "reporting" back Jemjem, great overall improvement, the ambition to continue to have dry spells is also a good sign you wish to keep control, Like many who continue to drink, but have long periods of abstinence, you are always in danger of crossing the line on occasion. I have always believed that drunk days remind people of the need to stay sober, but are not the driver for sobriety.Your challenge is when you do allow yourself to drink, have more days where you are strong and manage to drink moderately.....this takes practice and real self control, I maintain that stopping drinking is not an option at some stages in life, I know this because for years I would never have given abstinence a second thought. In my case although controlling my drinking if I drink is difficult, the overiding factor these days is that getting drunk would not enhance my enjoyment of an occasion, rather spoil it for those who care for me. Keep going, I can understand that you accept the occasional step over the line, your strength is that you have built awareness of the dangers of such actions. So were you able to identify if there were any 'triggers' that led to the drunk occasions, that maybe could have been avoided, was there external social pressure, I'm thinking here that you did not open a bottle of vodka and sit at home getting pissed or did you?

[gerryBScot]

Hey, folks. My sober run ended at day 77. This was about 4 weeks ago. Since then, I have had 3 more times of going out and getting drunk, plus 2 times of moderate drinking. Yes, sadly, overall in that 4-week period, that's a lot more drinking than I had hoped for.

However, another longish run starts for me (well, it started 2 days ago actually). I plan not to drink at all till May 4 (I have a ticket to a dance music event that day) and I am confident I will succeed. My aim for now is to REDUCE my overall alcohol intake and I think I have done reasonably well since late last year (but as I wrote above, this last 4-week period was not good, as I overdid the drinking).

If I can keep having occasional longish sober runs (let's say 15-60 day runs) and occasional 'only-moderate-drinking sessions', and some rare drunk times , I will consider myself quite successful and content. I know some of you might think this would not be a success but oh well, what can I say. I think I can always improve, bit by bit, anyway. And, one day, I might decide to totally quit drinking.

Hey JemJem thanks for posting.

When you "evaluate" your recent drinking do you associate any of it with having a good time? You don't mention this. Was it fun? Did you have a nice time with your mates and buddies? Did you do things you regret? What was it like? If you feel able, please share

Please also be aware I will never tell you that you are an alcoholic and I will never tell you that you are not: only you can decide that for yourself. Beware of people who try to persuade you either way. It can only be your decision. Keep well. G