Westerners Behaviour Towards Thai Women In Public.

[simple1]

OP: I really do not understand the point you are trying to make. If someone starts a conversation with your GF in a public place and after a relatively short time asks if she has a BF/husband, all she has to say is "yes & I'm not interested". Would you prefer a stranger to engage in conversation that is polite, charming and humorous and then asks GF out for a drink/lunch etc and she accepts because she perceives him as a nice friendly guy? Not saying GF would, but on occasion this scenario is a start of an affair.

The reality is many Western men in Thailand are seeking a "good girl" and believe the likes of shopping centres are a reasonable place to make approaches.

Edited January 16, 2013 by simple1

[dean999]

OP: I really do not understand the point you are trying to make. If someone starts a conversation with your GF in a public place and after a relatively short time asks if she has a BF/husband, all she has to say is "yes & I'm not interested". Would you prefer a stranger to engage in conversation that is polite, charming and humorous and then asks GF out for a drink/lunch etc and she accepts because she perceives him as a nice friendly guy? Not saying GF would, but on occasion this scenario is a start of an affair.

The reality is many Western men in Thailand are seeking a "good girl" and believe the likes of shopping centres are a reasonable place to make approaches.

That is a good point you made. I have heard so many people say, "don't look in a bar to find love".

So if your not allowed to talk to girls in supermarkets, trains, buses ect, where can we look?

To look at it another way. Stop being jealous and be happy that men find her attractive.

[gmac]

I find it particularly offensive on Beach Road, in Pattaya where unfortunately the vast majority of the area appears to have been taken over by individuals who are indeed 'up for sale/rent'. This, however, should not mean that respectable women who are there innocently should be subjected to requests such as 'how much for short time?' This from personal experience when carelessly leaving my wife unattended for about 10 minutes whilst going to buy some ice creams, during this time she was propositioned in this kind of manner no less than 4 times!

I think the area was taken over about 10 years ago if memory serves me correctly. While you were there looking at all of the working ladies who make Beach road home didn't you think another place may have been more appropriate for a family outing?

Quite frankly, no. This is allegedly a beach resort and I feel quite entitled to a walk along the 'promenade' at the end of the day if the mood takes me. It is the most convenient place for an evening constitutional and I have no quarrel with the local workers what I do take exception to is every female walking in the area being treated like a prostitute by westerners.

[TommoPhysicist]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

As long as she doesn't tell them "I have no boyfriend", how would it be a problem?

[chiangmaikelly]

I find it particularly offensive on Beach Road, in Pattaya where unfortunately the vast majority of the area appears to have been taken over by individuals who are indeed 'up for sale/rent'. This, however, should not mean that respectable women who are there innocently should be subjected to requests such as 'how much for short time?' This from personal experience when carelessly leaving my wife unattended for about 10 minutes whilst going to buy some ice creams, during this time she was propositioned in this kind of manner no less than 4 times!

I think the area was taken over about 10 years ago if memory serves me correctly. While you were there looking at all of the working ladies who make Beach road home didn't you think another place may have been more appropriate for a family outing?

Quite frankly, no. This is allegedly a beach resort and I feel quite entitled to a walk along the 'promenade' at the end of the day if the mood takes me. It is the most convenient place for an evening constitutional and I have no quarrel with the local workers what I do take exception to is every female walking in the area being treated like a prostitute by westerners.

You said, allegedly a beach resort." So what is it really? If it is allegedly something it must really be something else. Have you ever googled Pattaya Beach road? What is the other name for Beach Road? Coconut bar? I took my wife to a go go bar but didn't get upset when the manager asked her if she wanted to dance.

Edited January 16, 2013 by chiangmaikelly

[Styx]

some farangs are hitting on girls on bts, shopping malls etc and some thai men do that too, why this doesn't happen much in europe or in the usa is that a thai woman is always polite, smiling and doesn't refuse conversation even though she isn't interested which can give the guy false expectations.

if a white girl is not interested she doesn't have a problem to show it.

Expectations of what!!!??? just talking to someone is the same as hitting on them????

good lord, thanyou, your post did clarify everything i did say in my above post..are you female by chance?

not female just ment Thai girls in general are friendly and polite and yes asking a girl on bts about her boyfriend is hitting on her,

why some would be asking her if wasn't in interested...

[TommoPhysicist]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

The OP was asking why some men are rude when approaching the native women, he was not asking for pointers on how to attract them. We already know what a lady killer you are so no need to remind us on every post you make.

No he wasn't. He was asking if foreign men consider all Thai women to be fair game; rudeness had nothing to do with it. The thread's progressed since then and is exploring what is inappropriate if/when approaching women.

The only advance I have ever made to a Thai female is a smile, up to them how they respond.

But usually they are the ones making advances to me, if they start talking to me then they are clearly fair game.

[HardenedSoul]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

The OP was asking why some men are rude when approaching the native women, he was not asking for pointers on how to attract them. We already know what a lady killer you are so no need to remind us on every post you make.

No he wasn't. He was asking if foreign men consider all Thai women to be fair game; rudeness had nothing to do with it. The thread's progressed since then and is exploring what is inappropriate if/when approaching women.

The only advance I have ever made to a Thai female is a smile, up to them how they respond.

But usually they are the ones making advances to me, if they start talking to me then they are clearly fair game.

Maybe they just want to practice their English. Doesn't mean they're "game".

[TommoPhysicist]

Maybe they just want to practice their English. Doesn't mean they're "game".

Sorry, I don't speak English with random Thais (male or female), we speak Thai.

If they want to speak English, that will cost them 500bht per hour.

PS

I would never make any advances to a Thai girl that spoke any English at all, not the sort of girl I want.

Edited January 16, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[andrew]

The only advance I have ever made to a Thai female is a smile, up to them how they respond.

But usually they are the ones making advances to me, if they start talking to me then they are clearly fair game.

Maybe they just want to practice their English. Doesn't mean they're "game".

You've got that right. Way too many Westerners make this mistake.

Girls talk to me all the time. It's because they're friendly and/or curious. Like you say, they usually just want to speak a bit of English, or to find out where I come from.

Inexperienced men (ie, sex tourists and born losers) often think they're being hit on in these situations.

PS. That little GF of yours in that photo you showed was very pretty.

Edited January 16, 2013 by andrew

[TommoPhysicist]

Inexperienced men (ie, sex tourists and born losers) often think they're being hit on in these situations.

Experienced men speak Thai with Thai women.

[tinfoilhat]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

The OP was asking why some men are rude when approaching the native women, he was not asking for pointers on how to attract them. We already know what a lady killer you are so no need to remind us on every post you make.

No he wasn't. He was asking if foreign men consider all Thai women to be fair game; rudeness had nothing to do with it. The thread's progressed since then and is exploring what is inappropriate if/when approaching women.

All women everywhere are fair game, it just depends on what you have to work with and how you approach them.

[HardenedSoul]

PS. That little GF of yours in that photo you showed was very pretty.

Yes she's a looker for sure but she's not a GF as such; more a gik.

No he wasn't. He was asking if foreign men consider all Thai women to be fair game; rudeness had nothing to do with it. The thread's progressed since then and is exploring what is inappropriate if/when approaching women.

All women everywhere are fair game, it just depends on what you have to work with and how you approach them.

And whether or not they're remotely interested in anyone but their husbands/boyfriends

[BlackArtemis]

I might joke or flirt with a girl in public, but we're talking idle chit chat, nothing like commenting on figures etc.

However, in the clubs I would flirt with anyone, and would often get good responses. Thai guys are pussies when it comes to talking to girls. Evn the good looking ones stand around their table with their guy friends and bottle of whiskey and talk about some girl they see. Then never talk to her that night or at best have their Thai female friend innitiate conversation. Many Thai girls comment on how bored they are with this, maybe this is why Tom Boys have been on the rage for the last years, ironically they're the ones with the balls to talk to the hot girls and get good results from it.

[andrew]

Inexperienced men (ie, sex tourists and born losers) often think they're being hit on in these situations.

Experienced men speak Thai with Thai women.

Well, maybe. But if the girl/woman wants to speak English then I'll happily play along.

[manarak]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

Seriously. How likely is it you will have seen a fat balding middle aged man openly giggling and flirting with a young shop assistant down your local Sainsbury's? I can't count the number of times I've squirmed with embarrassment at the sight of this here.

Warning: the flirt police is out to catch bald middle aged men who dare trying to flirt with younger ladies.

Next on the list are fat men, old men, stupid men, poor men, ugly men, ethnic minorities, men with difformities, etc.

I think the best is let the ladies sort it out instead of establishing rules on who is allowed to flirt with who.

[mca]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

Back in the day I was cornered by a bloke in a "Pattaya Muff Diving Club" vest and B.O. that could cause strip paint from a suspension bridge who proceeded to inform me on the best way to approach Thai women.

I'm all ears Mr.GQ......

[Kilgore Trout]

Some foreigners, as well as Thais act innapropriately. This is a true fact everywhere in the world.

Comparing it though, to Western society is mistaken. Yes, in the west, going up to a girl you dont know and asking if they have a boyfriend would be offensive to most.

However, Thais I don't know ask me on the street where I am going (pai nai?), people I've just met ask me how much money I make, etc. the list goes on.

Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?

I understand your answer 100%

but "Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?"

has nothing to do with my first post, since it was about Westerners towards Thai girls/woman I reckon I am not an English native speaker... Now I wonder if I am capable to make my self understand at all?... Or maybe you read too fast?

Don't worry, Tchooptip, your opening post was easily understood. Quite clear. It's not you at all. It's our resident Thai critic, Mr. Kilgore. You see, Kilgore has a tendency to try and twist the meaning of every thread, with the ultimate aim of finding a way to criticize the Thais. That's what he does. That's almost all that he does.

Berkshire seems to have selective supersensitive Thai feelers, like so many other apologists...

If you read my posts I think you will find I'm an equal opportunity critic, I do not discriminate betweeen whites, blacks, jews, asians, gays what have you. You are all equally ridiculous.

Unfortunately however, the Thais have a penchant for making it easy.....

[arthurwait]

I might joke or flirt with a girl in public, but we're talking idle chit chat, nothing like commenting on figures etc.

However, in the clubs I would flirt with anyone, and would often get good responses. Thai guys are pussies when it comes to talking to girls. Evn the good looking ones stand around their table with their guy friends and bottle of whiskey and talk about some girl they see. Then never talk to her that night or at best have their Thai female friend innitiate conversation. Many Thai girls comment on how bored they are with this, maybe this is why Tom Boys have been on the rage for the last years, ironically they're the ones with the balls to talk to the hot girls and get good results from it.

Probably because most the good looking Thai guys in clubs are gay.

The Tom boy explosion is because it's a fashion. When will it be harrods bags again ?

[tingtongtourist]

Maybe they just want to practice their English. Doesn't mean they're "game".

Sorry, I don't speak English with random Thais (male or female), we speak Thai.

If they want to speak English, that will cost them 500bht per hour.

PS

I would never make any advances to a Thai girl that spoke any English at all, not the sort of girl I want.

you really are full of it Tommo

[ajarnpot]

Disagree with op question for all sorts of reasons, 1. being most men Thai, or any nationality try it on with wife, #

2. When I was a bit younger than now I travelled to many countrys chatting up the girls with any story I could think of, never mattered if they were easy or not, I beleive that us american girls want to believe the lies they are told, they are certainly the easiest girls I've ever met

Hi ,,,, oh your accent is (insert adjective) shalll we go xxxx .. I have a house on .....

Edited January 20, 2013 by metisdead
: Profanity

[muythai2013]

my wife dresses very conservative, at the beach she will not dare where anything other then shorts.

she is however very beautiful and some people are out right rude, most time at the hands of germaan or russian tourist so far, another an arab who seemed to think it attractive to stick his tongue in and out despite being with his own wife, he didnt count on my wife being quite vocal and his wife finding out and they exited the restaurant quite fast, both fighting.

[IrishIvan]

my wife dresses very conservative, at the beach she will not dare where anything other then shorts.

she is however very beautiful and some people are out right rude, most time at the hands of germaan or russian tourist so far, another an arab who seemed to think it attractive to stick his tongue in and out despite being with his own wife, he didnt count on my wife being quite vocal and his wife finding out and they exited the restaurant quite fast, both fighting.

Ah so you were the guys at Catch Beach Club at Surin Beach, Phuket

[NoshowJones]

If you think Thailand is bad then you should visit some Middle eastern countries where the local men are total louts when it comes to western women. There have been some good replies here and if I was the OP I wouldn't worry too much. His wife obviously knows how to douse the guy's flame. There is nothing really wrong with a man approaching a woman in a friendly way, or even asking if she has a husband or boy friend. All she needs to do is smile and say "yes, I have a husband.". If the guy persists then that is when she needs to make herself a little more clear. Some of the boorish Russian louts in Pattaya can't seem to understand a firm "NO!"

When I was with a girl back in Scotland, I had a rule. If I was at a club and a guy unknown to us both, asked her to dance, my attitude was it's up to her. If he asked her a second time, then I had a quiet word with him. I can't ever remember it happening a third time.

[JO1973]

I walk to work everyday in Bangkok and see the way Westerners and Thais talk to women. I also work in an environment where it is 50/50 Westerners/Thais. From what I've witnessed in Thailand for a couple of years -- and Southeast Asia for close to ten years -- is quite the opposite.

From what I see everyday, Westerners tend to be very polite to Thai women. However, I've also seen Thai men curse at women, proposition women, and in general act pretty badly. Not every Thai guy is like this, most are polite as the next person. But as there are a lot more Thais than Westerners -- and a heck of a lot more Thai men hanging out on the corner or on motorbikes -- it stands to reason that one would see worse behaviour more often by local men than by foreign men.

But there is an inherent difference with Westerners as they are foreign and with that comes a degree of curiosity for both them and Thai women. Thai women flirt a lot with Western men. Sure, you can say "That's their culture, it’s just how they are," but that's not true and everyone knows it. Thai women don't flirt as much with local Thai men as often as they do with Western men. Part of it is the exotic factor which cuts both ways, and part of it has to do with the fact that foreign men tend to treat women better than their Thai counterparts.

I guess it really depends on where you hang out. If you stand around Cowboy and watch people come and go then I'm sure you will see poor behaviour by Westerners; but you will also see a lot of bad behaviour by Thais (both men and women). If you hang out elsewhere you will see something different. As foreigners we stand out and are under tighter scrutiny. So while 10 Thai guys could do something offensive and no one would bat an eye, if one Westerner does the same thing then its “All foreigners are bad people.”

That said, I have known several Western women who won't go out at night by themselves -- even in public -- for fear of being groped or worse. Somehow that never seems to get the same press for some reason. Perhaps the subject of your next question should be, why do some people complain about Western men being friendly, even flirtatious, towards Thai women but completely ignore the far worse behaviour by Thai men towards women of all nationalities?

[kerfuffle]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

Seriously. How likely is it you will have seen a fat balding middle aged man openly giggling and flirting with a young shop assistant down your local Sainsbury's? I can't count the number of times I've squirmed with embarrassment at the sight of this here.

Warning: the flirt police is out to catch bald middle aged men who dare trying to flirt with younger ladies.

Next on the list are fat men, old men, stupid men, poor men, ugly men, ethnic minorities, men with difformities, etc.

I think the best is let the ladies sort it out instead of establishing rules on who is allowed to flirt with who.

After a month of so of lurking to get the lay of the land (so to speak), i honestly wonder how many members here manage to to tick most, if not all, of those boxes

[muythai2013]

my wife dresses very conservative, at the beach she will not dare where anything other then shorts.

she is however very beautiful and some people are out right rude, most time at the hands of germaan or russian tourist so far, another an arab who seemed to think it attractive to stick his tongue in and out despite being with his own wife, he didnt count on my wife being quite vocal and his wife finding out and they exited the restaurant quite fast, both fighting.

Ah so you were the guys at Catch Beach Club at Surin Beach, Phuket

yes, and you were that irish arab, i new it.

[TommoPhysicist]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

I've never seen a Thai girl that was unable to handle unwanted attention either on her own or using her 'Thai brothers'.

Sometimes it's only the bf who finds the attention unwanted. It might be time to look for a new gf.

[muythai2013]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

I've never seen a Thai girl that was unable to handle unwanted attention either on her own or using her 'Thai brothers'.

Sometimes it's only the bf who finds the attention unwanted. It might be time to look for a new gf.

yes thai girls take no bs

[Mudcrab]

I find it particularly offensive on Beach Road, in Pattaya where unfortunately the vast majority of the area appears to have been taken over by individuals who are indeed 'up for sale/rent'. This, however, should not mean that respectable women who are there innocently should be subjected to requests such as 'how much for short time?' This from personal experience when carelessly leaving my wife unattended for about 10 minutes whilst going to buy some ice creams, during this time she was propositioned in this kind of manner no less than 4 times!

I think the area was taken over about 10 years ago if memory serves me correctly. While you were there looking at all of the working ladies who make Beach road home didn't you think another place may have been more appropriate for a family outing?

Ahem,.....where he decides to take or not take his family is irrelevant... I can see nothing wrong with taking the missus and kids to the beach for an ice cream. Its been many years since I've been to Southend or Blackpool...is this behaviour towards a married woman acceptable there these days? I will qualify this this with a visit during daylight hours... after dark I guess things change somewhat