This is an issue that really really gets under my skin. Im putting it out there hoping that if any others on here are guilty and happen to read this, you will stop and re think your actions. Here it is...

Next door neighbour in the village house lives a lovely grandma who looks after her 2 grandsons. Their ages are 4 and 7. Great kids one goes to school everyday and the others to young but anyhow great kids.

Issue is, their mum has married a guy from Norway who I havnt had the chance to meet yet but cant wait to have a chat with him. Now this mum and her husband have dumped the kids with grandma and moved away to Norway 2 years ago this started. The new husband doesnt want to look after her kids, and just doesnt want any of his own either. Cant give the idiot mother any credit other than she wants to have a chance at a new life or however her brain thinks. Far as Im concerned, how dare they just leave the poor kids to grandma and p-off to Norway. Its cruel and when I hear the little kid asking whens my mum coming to visit me and my dad(yes thats what he makes him call him), it really annoys the heck outta me, its just plain wrong, it easily borders child abuse.

So, my point is, if you really love your partner, no matter what country they are from, and they have children, no ifs or buts, those kids are part of the deal.

Just to add, their Thai dad has already walked out on them. Hes long gone.

Not your business.

PS

I was just asked if i wanted a 3YO girl to look after, mum (niece) lives in BK and doesn't want her, suggested she come to live with my wife and I. Common happening in Thailand, not the western way but the Thai way. You are not living in Kansas now.

It's often the norm for granny to bring up the kids and this westerner knows it.

I agree with you though, from a moral point of view.

Not your business.

PS

I was just asked if i wanted a 3YO girl to look after, mum (niece) lives in BK and doesn't want her, suggested she come to live with my wife and I. Common happening in Thailand, not the western way but the Thai way. You are not living in Kansas now.

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

ps, isnt that what families for?

This is standard practice in Thailand whether a farang is involved or not. Grandparents take care of the kids, while there parents go out and earn a crust.

The most available and best paying jobs are not in isaarn or Bangkok for that matter.

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

Just amazed at the foreigners who come to live in Thailand and want to tell the Thais how to live their lives.

Hardly surprising foreigners aren't welcome here.

It's often the norm for granny to bring up the kids and this westerner knows it.

I agree with you though, from a moral point of view.

Im well aware of this, just he needs to man up and be a man.

Would never happen with my kids being sent to stay with granny . I have seen this before we're the kids live with granny and the parents live life to the fullest in bkk. My kids go to there grand mothers on summer holidays and my wife is with them. Only once did we leave the kid at the grandmothers and that was when I was cleaning up my house after the flood didn't want these here in the mess and it was only for a week

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

Just amazed at the foreigners who come to live in Thailand and want to tell the Thais how to live their lives.

Hardly surprising foreigners aren't welcome here.

Point is Thommo kids cant look after themselves. Young kids need their mum and dad, and cant understand why they have left them and unless their was no other choice, Its just wrong.

Not your business.

PS

I was just asked if i wanted a 3YO girl to look after, mum (niece) lives in BK and doesn't want her, suggested she come to live with my wife and I. Common happening in Thailand, not the western way but the Thai way. You are not living in Kansas now.

I agree with <Not your business> and were you to see him would be advised not to make an issue of it.

Whether you like it or not, it's the Thai way. My wife's mother brought up the BIL/ SIL's 2 boys as they had to work on construction sites, and were unable to provide a proper home for them.

Either she is sending money for support you don't know about, or it is better that they live with Grandma.

The best students in all my classes all live with their grandparent(s).

So, what's the problem?

EDIT: Just saw your last post. I agree, it is just wrong. Maybe you could become something of a mentor to them, and make it just right?

Point is Thommo kids cant look after themselves. Young kids need their mum and dad, and cant understand why they have left them and unless their was no other choice, Its just wrong.

Says who?

You and your western victorian feminist morality, it's sure working out for the west ....... isn't it.

Millions of single mothers producing feral kids and a disintegrating society, better off with granny in a lot of cases, thinks I.

(Not that I would ever stick my nose into another families business)

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

Just amazed at the foreigners who come to live in Thailand and want to tell the Thais how to live their lives.

Hardly surprising foreigners aren't welcome here.

Point is Thommo kids cant look after themselves. Young kids need their mum and dad, and cant understand why they have left them and unless their was no other choice, Its just wrong.

That's a western viewpoint. Do you understand that things are done differently in Thailand?

Many, many Thai kids are left with the grandparents- it's how things are done here- Thai culture, not western culture, gedit?

<Young kids need their mum and dad>

millions of kids in the west grow up without a father, are you going to go home and start a crusade there?

Either she is sending money for support you don't know about, or it is better that they live with Grandma.

The best students in all my classes all live with their grandparent(s).

So, what's the problem?

EDIT: Just saw your last post. I agree, it is just wrong. Maybe you could become something of a mentor to them, and make it just right?

Good point. The OP can put his principles into practice and become the father they don't have. I'm sure the granny will be happy to have him help out.

I very much doubt that this circumstance is uncommon

I hope this Western man repays the favour and looks after his wifes childrens, children. I wonder if he has thought this through?.

Well put TBL.

As well meaning as the OP may be from a Western perspective, his interference in the affairs of others will not be appreciated.

If you have genuine concerns about the welfare of the kids then contact the relevant authorities (they DO exist), if you're just getting on some moral high-horse here I'd keep your beak out...

It's a cruel world we live in and there's not much we can do about it, except maybe set an example.

The mother obviously chose the money and the easy life over her children.

And the Thai father of the children is more to blame than the Norwegian, who after all maybe got more than he bargained for and didn't know she had children when he hooked-up with her.

Yermanee

It's a cruel world we live in and there's not much we can do about it, except maybe set an example.

The mother obviously chose the money and the easy life over her children.

And the Thai father of the children is more to blame than the Norwegian, who after all maybe got more than he bargained for and didn't know she had children when he hooked-up with her.

Yermanee

"Got more than he bargained for..."

"Mother obviously chose money..."

Ah, so the westerner is an innocent bystander and the Thai an evildoer? I love bashing, but, really now!

Some of you guys on TV must have very, very strong quads with all the jumping to conclusions you do.

P.S. I love your avatar.

.

My point is if she has kids, and you marry her, then they are part of the deal. Is that wrong?

Sounds like Im hitting some raw nerves perhaps?

Either she is sending money for support you don't know about, or it is better that they live with Grandma.

The best students in all my classes all live with their grandparent(s).

So, what's the problem?

EDIT: Just saw your last post. I agree, it is just wrong. Maybe you could become something of a mentor to them, and make it just right?

Good point. The OP can put his principles into practice and become the father they don't have. I'm sure the granny will be happy to have him help out.

Not my job. Just my observation.

Its fine if thats for the better of the kids, but when they have been dumped because the new hubby doesnt want kids its bs.

Someone I know ( ) had a not-too-bright mother. Dad vanished early on and a few years later mom remarried. Stepdad was a piece of walking excrement, and the kid's life from that point on turned to excrement as well, right out of Charles Dickens.

My point is a kid is probably better off with his granny than with a step-parent who doesn't want them. Sounds like the mother is a real winner, but maybe the excuse is that she's playing the farang for a long con and will return someday with a big bag of money -- and she's only doing it for the kids, of course.

When someone dies and people lament the poor kids will now not have a parent, or parents, and those making the comment have never even met the parents, I find it quite arrogant to assume the parents are best suited to raise a kid. Aside from the trauma of the kid dealing with death, there is no shortage of situations out there where the kid is better off in such a case.

Yeah, so maybe granny indulges the kids a little too much and they get spoiled, but, IMO, it beats the hell out of growing up in an unloved environment.

OP, you might meet these two some day, and you'll think the kids are lucky that they stayed far, far away.

I hope this Western man repays the favour and looks after his wifes childrens, children. I wonder if he has thought this through?.

Without actually knowing his age, if he is the average age of the westerners that marry Thai ladies with children, he'll be dead long before they have children of their own.

My point is if she has kids, and you marry her, then they are part of the deal. Is that wrong?

Sounds like Im hitting some raw nerves perhaps?

Maybe they were never part of the deal. It's all based on a assumption.

Not your business.

PS

I was just asked if i wanted a 3YO girl to look after, mum (niece) lives in BK and doesn't want her, suggested she come to live with my wife and I. Common happening in Thailand, not the western way but the Thai way. You are not living in Kansas now.

Or the kid is taken round to someone they know. The mother says "I'll be back in an hour." Never to be seen again. We have two in the Thai family.

I would consider 'the worst sort of white foreigner' (racial slur altered) to be the ones that come to live in a foreign country then proceed to tell who they perceive to be 'ignorant natives' how they should conduct their lives.

From the outside looking in, it appears that the children are not being raised the optimal environment. However, no one here (including the OP) knows all the details regarding why the parents are not present or when they are returning.

For the OP: Mind your own business.

Someone I know ( ) had a not-too-bright mother. Dad vanished early on and a few years later mom remarried. Stepdad was a piece of walking excrement, and the kid's life from that point on turned to excrement as well, right out of Charles Dickens.

My point is a kid is probably better off with his granny than with a step-parent who doesn't want them. Sounds like the mother is a real winner, but maybe the excuse is that she's playing the farang for a long con and will return someday with a big bag of money -- and she's only doing it for the kids, of course.

When someone dies and people lament the poor kids will now not have a parent, or parents, and those making the comment have never even met the parents, I find it quite arrogant to assume the parents are best suited to raise a kid. Aside from the trauma of the kid dealing with death, there is no shortage of situations out there where the kid is better off in such a case.

Yeah, so maybe granny indulges the kids a little too much and they get spoiled, but, IMO, it beats the hell out of growing up in an unloved environment.

OP, you might meet these two some day, and you'll think the kids are lucky that they stayed far, far away.

I concur.

Life isn't cut and dried and sometimes it's better that kids don't live with their parent/s, for a variety of reasons.

Personally, I don't see why the westerner should have to have the kids around. He married her, not the kids.

If the OP wants to get involved, he can get the father to take them- that is the best solution according to the OP's morality- the kids living with their real parent. Good luck with that in LOS though!

I hope this Western man repays the favour and looks after his wifes childrens, children. I wonder if he has thought this through?.

Without actually knowing his age, if he is the average age of the westerners that marry Thai ladies with children, he'll be dead long before they have children of their own.

Fair point, I am happily single at the moment and was thinking out loud. I am in the returning kids age bracket so its certainly made me think.