After 10 Years Issan Still Amazes Me.

[robblok]

Years ago in the UK it was fine for an old man to hire a housemaid to work for him, of course he paid her. She took care of him and he was not totally lonely.

What was wrong with that.

If a Farang is old and "buys" his wife to take care of him - so what?

Surely up to him.

If Farang has money to burn, again, up to him.

As long as he enjoys it so what?

In this thread are many personal posts from people who are enjoying their lives.

However, some people seem to post as if all Thai ladies behave like the few who do rip off Farang and give a bad reputation for others.

I know that Robblock likes to do weight lifting and cares about his appearance, weight etc. I do not suggest that he is obsessed, I do not chide him and say he is wrong to live the way he does.

It's his life and up to him.

I agree that the noob comment was rather childish and unnecessary but I'd bet it came from frustration.

For goodness sake guys - LIVE AND LET LIVE.

Yes we are Farang so maybe we would be better off if we give each other some support rather than a bashing.

Maybe there should be a new thread where tips can be given to help the novice Farang see the traps before he falls into them but in a thread of this nature, I think that such tips and opinions are just a bit much.

BAMBI (If you cant say anything nice.....)

I don't agree with the if you can't say anything nice remark. Its an open forum and people are entitled to their opinion even if its not nice.

I feel there is a large difference between buying a wife and having a maid work for you. I don't feel that is either is wrong, only i would not call it a wife if you buy it. There are other words for that.

Sometimes you have to bash someone to make them wake up, often it wont work anyway but it might prevent others from falling in the same trap.

As for my "perceived" obsession with appearance, i can guarantee you that 90% of the guys has the same obsession when talking about the opposite sex. I just care about how i look, don't want to look like a overweight slob. Is it so strange to make sure the girls have something nice to look at and something else to care about then just your wallet. A few manners a bit of intelligence and normal appearance can do a lot then you dont have to draw the wallet all the time to get "respect"

Edited January 27, 2013 by robblok

[laislica]

There is a time and a place for everything.

Just ask yourself this:

"If everyone in the world did this (whatever it is you are about to do), would the world be better or worse?"

When you have the answer to that question, do whatever you think is appropriate.

I think that's all I'm trying to say.

[robblok]

There is a time and a place for everything.

Just ask yourself this:

"If everyone in the world did this (whatever it is you are about to do), would the world be better or worse?"

When you have the answer to that question, do whatever you think is appropriate.

I think that's all I'm trying to say.

If everyone did the same i do the world would be a boring place and i could not practice my hobbies at normal costs.

I just don't like the buying friendship, buying respect, buying girls, be it Thais or foreigners that do it. I expect a foreigner to know a bit better. Things build on money often go sour (unless the money is endless) and it puts the bar higher each time around. I did not like those kind of types back home and i don't like them here. I believe that if you just act normal and polite, are well behaved you build things up slower but better then just splashing around money.

I am not saying here that everyone in this thread has bought a wife or respect ect. These are just my general views.

Just think for a moment about the other villages, they loose face. If it was just a Thai that has done it it was ok but now it was "that farang". In the long run i doubt it makes more friends as enemies. (maybe more in the direct village).

[sirchai]

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

Yes, you deserve it.

[jamescollister]

There is a time and a place for everything.

Just ask yourself this:

"If everyone in the world did this (whatever it is you are about to do), would the world be better or worse?"

When you have the answer to that question, do whatever you think is appropriate.

I think that's all I'm trying to say.

If everyone did the same i do the world would be a boring place and i could not practice my hobbies at normal costs.

I just don't like the buying friendship, buying respect, buying girls, be it Thais or foreigners that do it. I expect a foreigner to know a bit better. Things build on money often go sour (unless the money is endless) and it puts the bar higher each time around. I did not like those kind of types back home and i don't like them here. I believe that if you just act normal and polite, are well behaved you build things up slower but better then just splashing around money.

I am not saying here that everyone in this thread has bought a wife or respect ect. These are just my general views.

Just think for a moment about the other villages, they loose face. If it was just a Thai that has done it it was ok but now it was "that farang". In the long run i doubt it makes more friends as enemies. (maybe more in the direct village).

The post was about my wife's birthday, the farang involvement was really just driving the car.

On the money side read my posts, I have no money, wife pays me. If she wants to do the village proud or make her mun feel special and show off a bit, no harm done.

All in all just a bit of fun, nothing serious, as a general rule we give more than most, weddings, Buddha even bought the playground for the local kindergarten. We [wife] are the biggest employer around the area, maybe not the richest, but far from the poorest.

It's the Thai way and it would be the same if the wife was married io a Thai not a farang. Jim

[robblok]

There is a time and a place for everything.

Just ask yourself this:

"If everyone in the world did this (whatever it is you are about to do), would the world be better or worse?"

When you have the answer to that question, do whatever you think is appropriate.

I think that's all I'm trying to say.

If everyone did the same i do the world would be a boring place and i could not practice my hobbies at normal costs.

I just don't like the buying friendship, buying respect, buying girls, be it Thais or foreigners that do it. I expect a foreigner to know a bit better. Things build on money often go sour (unless the money is endless) and it puts the bar higher each time around. I did not like those kind of types back home and i don't like them here. I believe that if you just act normal and polite, are well behaved you build things up slower but better then just splashing around money.

I am not saying here that everyone in this thread has bought a wife or respect ect. These are just my general views.

Just think for a moment about the other villages, they loose face. If it was just a Thai that has done it it was ok but now it was "that farang". In the long run i doubt it makes more friends as enemies. (maybe more in the direct village).

The post was about my wife's birthday, the farang involvement was really just driving the car.

On the money side read my posts, I have no money, wife pays me. If she wants to do the village proud or make her mun feel special and show off a bit, no harm done.

All in all just a bit of fun, nothing serious, as a general rule we give more than most, weddings, Buddha even bought the playground for the local kindergarten. We [wife] are the biggest employer around the area, maybe not the richest, but far from the poorest.

It's the Thai way and it would be the same if the wife was married io a Thai not a farang. Jim

So Jim she had the business before you and such or did you finance it ?

Im only asking because you act like you have nothing to do with her presumed wealth.

Anyway these were my general views and yes i don't like the show stuff and your comment about gaining face and everyone knew it was you ect is just bad taste. The trip however and the guns and out of the way place does sound interesting.

I was not flaming you, just my general views about buying friendship and respect ect.

[Jezz]

The post was about my wife's birthday, the farang involvement was really just driving the car.

All in all just a bit of fun, nothing serious,

Fact is, some TV members seem to grab every opportunity to throw a topic off track. Some join the conversation late in the thread without bothering to see why it was started, others have an urge to let off steam. The good thing is, those who have followed some of your other posts know you enjoy sharing moments in your life way out in the wilds. We can live with the participation of the others without them distracting from the enjoyment in any way. Carry on, Jim! I know you will. Cheers.

Edited January 27, 2013 by Jezz

[jamescollister]

robblok We paid, we lived in OZ, we worked and paid, it's a joint venture. Most of the income comes from rubber plantations it's in her name, excluded occupation for farangs.

She was not a poor farm girl, University educated, father is the district coroner [ not medical examiner ] some land was hers, some we bought, she got free trees, some we bought. Our house is on land owed by the FIL ergo hers now..

If I had not come along she would be less well off, but she wouldn't have been poor either.

The factory part of it is a different matter, that was me, but it makes no real money.

So yes I did finance more than her, but I earned more, there is no me and her, it's we. Jim

[robblok]

robblok We paid, we lived in OZ, we worked and paid, it's a joint venture. Most of the income comes from rubber plantations it's in her name, excluded occupation for farangs.

She was not a poor farm girl, University educated, father is the district coroner [ not medical examiner ] some land was hers, some we bought, she got free trees, some we bought. Our house is on land owed by the FIL ergo hers now..

If I had not come along she would be less well off, but she wouldn't have been poor either.

The factory part of it is a different matter, that was me, but it makes no real money.

So yes I did finance more than her, but I earned more, there is no me and her, it's we. Jim

Of course its WE that is how a relation should be, but you acted like you had no part in it. That is just not true. Anyway i liked the story, just don't like the face stuff and showofff stuff. But hey its your life but you put it on an open forum so i can comment. You are free to do so in any of my topics too.

People have different views, i just don't like all the show part and the farang should pay it all crap (not saying you are like that) They tried it on with me a few times but i quickly made sure they would not again. That does not mean i never pay, sometimes i pay for diner if i feel like it or other stuff. Just don't like the automatic farang pays. Farang this farang that.

Wife works too and its we just like in your case and i have no problem financing some tools if i thought her brother would make money with it. But giving away money for instance is not what i would do (creating dependency) again this is not aimed at you, just my views.

And yes i picked out that part of the face stuff because its a red flag for me. The other part of the story was real amusing and a new world.

[473geo]

I guess if one carries a strong belief in karma then it is no issue to provide for the less fortunate, or pay for the occasional beer, however if you carry the belief that the majority of people in the world are mean, selfish, and wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, then I suggest you are unlikely to understand the approach to life of the rural Thai. As far as the Op goes I note the 'happily living abroad' stories are from Hawaii, which is very pleasant location, I will wait for the comments on how many Thai people living through the cold dark European/Nordic winters carry a longing to return to Thailand.

[TommoPhysicist]

In the west we have "Keeping up with the Joneses".

In Thailand we have "Hen chaang kee, kee tam chaang"

Same same, but different.

PS

My comments on merit were not particularly aimed at Jim, just a general observation.

Edited January 27, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[Gonsalviz]

I can't say my life in Issan is the same as where I hail from but what my wife's family does, doesn't seem too strange to me.

Driving for hours only have plans change completely does strike me as a bit odd though.

[cooked]

I must admit I get sick of the head lice, tuberculosis and pretentious making merit stuff in this village also, (forgot to mention the drug taking Cambodian bandits roaming the roads and raping Farangs) you guys are right, I think I'll leave straight away and live in a virtuous, clean place like Pattaya.

[BradinAsia]

The sour, surly, bigoted attitude of many farangs -- contaminates the atmosphere and gives the rest of us a

bad reputation.

I recall an unforgettable experience, almost 50 years ago, at the entrance of a large temple in Kyoto, Japan.

As is common at religious sites around the world, the temple had a large donation box just inside the entrance.

While removing my shoes to enter, I overheard an elderly American tourist couple nearby. The wife said, "Honey,

should we make a donation?" The husband's loud and surly reply was, "Hell, no. You don't see any Japs giving

money, do you?"

That memory has always stuck in my mind.

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

Twelve years ago, while teaching at a university in Bangkok, I met a British chap, a former engineer, married to an

educated and cultured Thai lady. They built a new house in a moo-baan and invited all of us to their house warming

party. The house was very nice, but when I asked the Brit if he had studied Thai, he said, "What? Do you think I want

to become stupid like the Thais? Why would I want to do that?"

After that, I made a point to avoid him at the office.

I probably should have asked him, "Why the hell did you marry a nice Thai lady and settle down in this country if you

have no respect or appreciation for Thai people and their culture?"

Of course, it is very clear that these people have delusions of self-worth and intelligence that is out of all proportion

to grim reality. The truth is they are pitiful, narrow minded blokes who'd be much better off if they had stayed at home

in farangland.

And the atmosphere here would be much less contaminated.

My 2 baht worth...

Edited January 28, 2013 by BradinAsia

[TommoPhysicist]

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

I would hypothesize that many of our locals know little or nothing of their history or culture either.

Edited January 28, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[laislica]

The sour, surly, bigoted attitude of many farangs -- contaminates the atmosphere and gives the rest of us a

bad reputation.

I recall an unforgettable experience, almost 50 years ago, at the entrance of a large temple in Kyoto, Japan.

As is common at religious sites around the world, the temple had a large donation box just inside the entrance.

While removing my shoes to enter, I overheard an elderly American tourist couple nearby. The wife said, "Honey,

should we make a donation?" The husband's loud and surly reply was, "Hell, no. You don't see any Japs giving

money, do you?"

That memory has always stuck in my mind.

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

Twelve years ago, while teaching at a university in Bangkok, I met a British chap, a former engineer, married to an

educated and cultured Thai lady. They built a new house in a moo-baan and invited all of us to their house warming

party. The house was very nice, but when I asked the Brit if he had studied Thai, he said, "What? Do you think I want

to become stupid like the Thais? Why would I want to do that?"

After that, I made a point to avoid him at the office.

I probably should have asked him, "Why the hell did you marry a nice Thai lady and settle down in this country if you

have no respect or appreciation for Thai people and their culture?"

Of course, it is very clear that these people have delusions of self-worth and intelligence that is out of all proportion

to grim reality. The truth is they are pitiful, narrow minded blokes who'd be much better off if they had stayed at home

in farangland.

And the atmosphere here would be much less contaminated.

My 2 baht worth...

Whilst I do so agree, I think it's a shame that it even has to be said.

In a way, even saying it contaminates the atmosphere somewhat.

That, having been said, and moving on.......

[robblok]

The sour, surly, bigoted attitude of many farangs -- contaminates the atmosphere and gives the rest of us a

bad reputation.

I recall an unforgettable experience, almost 50 years ago, at the entrance of a large temple in Kyoto, Japan.

As is common at religious sites around the world, the temple had a large donation box just inside the entrance.

While removing my shoes to enter, I overheard an elderly American tourist couple nearby. The wife said, "Honey,

should we make a donation?" The husband's loud and surly reply was, "Hell, no. You don't see any Japs giving

money, do you?"

That memory has always stuck in my mind.

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

Twelve years ago, while teaching at a university in Bangkok, I met a British chap, a former engineer, married to an

educated and cultured Thai lady. They built a new house in a moo-baan and invited all of us to their house warming

party. The house was very nice, but when I asked the Brit if he had studied Thai, he said, "What? Do you think I want

to become stupid like the Thais? Why would I want to do that?"

After that, I made a point to avoid him at the office.

I probably should have asked him, "Why the hell did you marry a nice Thai lady and settle down in this country if you

have no respect or appreciation for Thai people and their culture?"

Of course, it is very clear that these people have delusions of self-worth and intelligence that is out of all proportion

to grim reality. The truth is they are pitiful, narrow minded blokes who'd be much better off if they had stayed at home

in farangland.

And the atmosphere here would be much less contaminated.

My 2 baht worth...

About the donation box.. seems common sense to me, to follow the example of the locals. You seem to think you are real important yourself and know it all. I think Tommo made a great remark.

[robblok]

People seem to forget one thing, its called a mixed marriage or mixed relation. It does not mean the foreigner has to give up his identity and become Thai. Both sides should give and take a bit, she choose to be with a foreigner if she wanted a Thai she should have gotten one.

I do agree about knowing the language (makes things so much nicer) but not everyone needs the language.

Also don't forget the locals often know not much of their own history or culture. They make things up where you go.

Some people seem to think you have to go local, i don't think so, its a matter of adapting not assimilating.

[laislica]

Anyone feeling poetic? The story from the OP made me want to reflect upon this:

It's a wonderful song but for now enjoy the lyrics.

Beth Nielsen Chapman - All For The Love Music Lyrics

All for the love we want

All for the love we need

Deep in the lonely heart

Winter holds the seed

Reach till you know how far

Trust till you know how true

Give till you know how much

Loves inside of you

For this we shed our skin

Feel where each breath begins

Bleed as we pick the rose

Fall back with both eyes closed

All for the love we want

All for the love we want

For this we shed our skin

Feel where each breath begins

Bleed as we pick the rose

Fall back with both eyes closed

All for the love we want

All for the love we want

All for the love we want

Have a nice day.

[rgs2001uk]

The sour, surly, bigoted attitude of many farangs -- contaminates the atmosphere and gives the rest of us a

bad reputation.

I recall an unforgettable experience, almost 50 years ago, at the entrance of a large temple in Kyoto, Japan.

As is common at religious sites around the world, the temple had a large donation box just inside the entrance.

While removing my shoes to enter, I overheard an elderly American tourist couple nearby. The wife said, "Honey,

should we make a donation?" The husband's loud and surly reply was, "Hell, no. You don't see any Japs giving

money, do you?"

That memory has always stuck in my mind.

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

Twelve years ago, while teaching at a university in Bangkok, I met a British chap, a former engineer, married to an

educated and cultured Thai lady. They built a new house in a moo-baan and invited all of us to their house warming

party. The house was very nice, but when I asked the Brit if he had studied Thai, he said, "What? Do you think I want

to become stupid like the Thais? Why would I want to do that?"

After that, I made a point to avoid him at the office.

I probably should have asked him, "Why the hell did you marry a nice Thai lady and settle down in this country if you

have no respect or appreciation for Thai people and their culture?"

Of course, it is very clear that these people have delusions of self-worth and intelligence that is out of all proportion

to grim reality. The truth is they are pitiful, narrow minded blokes who'd be much better off if they had stayed at home

in farangland.

And the atmosphere here would be much less contaminated.

My 2 baht worth...

while teaching at a university in Bangkok

Why is it always teachers who think they know best?

I dont want to eat khao man gai at the side of the road, I dont want travel for free on the #60 red bus, I dont feel the need to wai everyman and his dog.

I am not Buddhist so feel no need to go to a temple to buy some merit or gain face.

Try talking to some locals and it become clears just how little they know of their history, ask them about the battle of Koh Chang.

The sour, surly, bigoted attitude of many farangs

The same could be said about the sour,surly, bigoted attitude of many Thais, especially to their fellow Thais.

[GarryP]

About........I think Tommo made a great remark.

Where? It must be a first.

On the matter of culture and giving it up, what about someone who has lived here more than half his life. I don't understand the current version of UK culture. What culture am I supposed to look to having spent 30 years here? I can't relate to the UK any more, and doubt very much whether I could live there again. It is not my home but Thailand is. Don't forget where you came from and all that stuff just does not wash.

PS. Jim made his wife's BD a special day for her the Thai way. <deleted> what is wrong with that?

[robblok]

About........I think Tommo made a great remark.

Where? It must be a first.

On the matter of culture and giving it up, what about someone who has lived here more than half his life. I don't understand the current version of UK culture. What culture am I supposed to look to having spent 30 years here? I can't relate to the UK any more, and doubt very much whether I could live there again. It is not my home but Thailand is. Don't forget where you came from and all that stuff just does not wash.

PS. Jim made his wife's BD a special day for her the Thai way. <deleted> what is wrong with that?

Nothing wrong with that, i just got excited about the face thing, after all this time it still gets to me.

But what i mean is some people seem to expect a foreigner to o full local, i think that cant be expected. Same as you cant expect a Thai living in a foreign country giving it all up. That was the point i was trying to make to the other poster.

Anyway the great remark of Tommo was that the locals also often dont know much of their own culture and history and the post of that brad just got me riled.

I have changed here too.. probably not as much as you.. but i will change more too. But i will never become full local.

[TommoPhysicist]

PS. Jim made his wife's BD a special day for her the Thai way. <deleted> what is wrong with that?

No merit is to be made by making others look inferior.

This is true for almost every religion.

[jpinx]

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

I would hypothesize that many of our locals know little or nothing of their history or culture either.

To be fair - Thais are not taught the true history of their country - let alone the world. It's a politicised cirriculum and bears a resemblence to Germany a generation ago. Let's face it - every country teaches what it likes about it's history - not about the truth. Look at Germany again, now facing up to their history in a very laudable way, but painful. UK, USA, Oz, SA - all teach their own version of history, culture and religion. Thailand is no different.

[ozziebloke]

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

I would hypothesize that many of our locals know little or nothing of their history or culture either.

And many Farang care less to learn or try to understand Thai history or culture! Same problem we have in Oz with some visiters and immigrants as is the same in most if not all western countries

[laislica]

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

I would hypothesize that many of our locals know little or nothing of their history or culture either.

And many Farang care less to learn or try to understand Thai history or culture! Same problem we have in Oz with some visiters and immigrants as is the same in most if not all western countries

Quite right, the same in the UK where the foreigners do not even try to integrate but expect all the housing/health benefits etc.

I do believe that this is changing and there is an English test now.....

Wouldn't it be fun to have to pass a Thai test to get long stay visas?

[TommoPhysicist]

Wouldn't it be fun to have to pass a Thai test to get long stay visas?

Good idea, let's get rid of all the English teachers in the country.

And all the Burmese labourers, waiters, sex workers, etc.

Edited January 28, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[ozziebloke]

Wouldn't it be fun to have to pass a Thai test to get long stay visas?

Good idea, let's get rid of all the English teachers in the country.

And all the Burmese labourers, waiters, sex workers, etc.

Are you saying the english teachers wouldn't pass a Thai entry test ?

[Jezz]

Quite right, the same in the UK where the foreigners do not even try to integrate but expect all the housing/health benefits etc.

I do believe that this is changing and there is an English test now.....

Wouldn't it be fun to have to pass a Thai test to get long stay visas?

And if us UK ex-pats returned home we'd be second fiddle to these people. I couldn't survive back there.

[robblok]

Over the last 50 years, I've met so many of these surly, sour, clueless farangs. They usually know little or nothing of

the history, language or culture of the place they are visiting, but they did bring along all their baggage of bigotry.

I would hypothesize that many of our locals know little or nothing of their history or culture either.

And many Farang care less to learn or try to understand Thai history or culture! Same problem we have in Oz with some visiters and immigrants as is the same in most if not all western countries

Quite right, the same in the UK where the foreigners do not even try to integrate but expect all the housing/health benefits etc.

I do believe that this is changing and there is an English test now.....

Wouldn't it be fun to have to pass a Thai test to get long stay visas?

It would make me double my efforts on Thai. Im ok speaking though far from as good as i want to be. But it would be a nice stick to make me study more.

But you cant compare with UK because here we have no rights on benefits an finance ourselves.