Respect .

[MESmith]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

Yeah but the guy obviously wants to live in Blighty so, for him, it's not really good advice is it?

Besides, being in Thailand is hardly any guarantee of a smoother ride. Sure, it'd be easier to find replacements but he doesn't come across as the kind of guy who wants to be recruiting new talent every few months

yes, but....... why ??

Thailand........

... it's warmer - and the beer is cheaper.

After reading General & News thaivisa forums, & living here 14 years, I often wonder <deleted> most of us are living here.

[somchaismith]

Seems like she was sick of the Op's cooking.

[norrona]

At 48 she is a bit late in the day to be having sleepovers week in and out, perhaps once a month if she has a night out with the girls?

Maybe she is going through a mid-life crisis or something?

[mrtoad]

And another one!

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/621679-girlfriend-threatenng-to-go-to-police-and-throw-me-out/

The problem is, that this thread pales into insignificance to that one, which has the potential to be an all time classic.

[Munger]

The OP should grow a pair then ditch the bitch. What is all this respect. You earn respect, not give it because she is a thai. It sounds like she respects the fleas on her dog more than her husband. Get rid now. Peace.

[mickylonster]

An update !

I went to see my soon to be ex wife this afternoon , and the upshot of our meeting , was she did`nt think the no phone call was , as she put it , `a big case` , I asked her to come back home , and her reply was , `give me time please` She says her intention is to return to Thailand in the next month or so . So we agree to differ, and her decision is probably for the best , I can`t make her understand the importance of respect and consideration , and that being so I don`t intend wasting any more mental energy trying to convince her that her attitude is so very wrong !!

thanks to all, for positive imput and forthright opinions !

[cornishcarlos]

She'll be back when/if it warms up...

Then again, Newcastle !!

[Thailand2012]

aToms life , when she first came to the UK , she had funds of her own ,£5.000 + so If she wanted to , she could return to Thailand at any time ,and as for letting her stay over with friends , for me that is not a concern, I have no wish to keep her on a short lead , I have much more respect for than you imply !

yes not keeping her on a shortleash is ok you want her to have her own life as well.But sleep overs please what do you think she was doing getting drunk and sleeping on a couch? more likely going out meeting younger more attractive men and has found a better deal the good old thai way.go to her work if she doesnt front you or her friends are hiding her then let her them know that you are left with no other choice but to get her deported.if she comes grobbling back deport her anyway the damage is done, she will continue to have sleepovers untill she gets the necessary documents and then shes gone legally honestly would you want to live like that for the next 6-7 months??

[jambco984]

An update !

I went to see my soon to be ex wife this afternoon , and the upshot of our meeting , was she did`nt think the no phone call was , as she put it , `a big case` , I asked her to come back home , and her reply was , `give me time please` She says her intention is to return to Thailand in the next month or so . So we agree to differ, and her decision is probably for the best , I can`t make her understand the importance of respect and consideration , and that being so I don`t intend wasting any more mental energy trying to convince her that her attitude is so very wrong !!

thanks to all, for positive imput and forthright opinions !

Good man.

Take control of the matters at hand.

You said soon to be ex wife, keep that in your head and run with it.

Dont let her or her so called friends at the shop poison your thoughts.

Many Thais abroad when they get together as previously posted think they now know everything to know about farangland. My mates missus is stubborn as chuff and everything she says is golden to her and her cleaner friends at her job she has in the UK. They treat her like queen bee as shes the oldest and longest resident of the UK. She has in my opinion wrecked 3 marriages and caused her own husband to lose interest as she prefers the life away from hubby and her social status, sound familiar ish??

I last seen her over 2 years ago. I asked her do you remember the old ladies in big c cleaning the toilets and aisles? She says yes. I said you have the exact same job but in England.

Oh no my job is better because I have good money and Thai friends here. £6 an hour and married to my mate who isnt loaded but a good man, claiming some sort of hi so life. The jobs probably work out at the same wage taking into account UK prices and she would need to work harder and my favourite no sleeping on the job.

You need to stay strong. Ignore everyone on here and do whats best for YOU and only YOU.

[simple1]

An update !

I went to see my soon to be ex wife this afternoon , and the upshot of our meeting , was she did`nt think the no phone call was , as she put it , `a big case` , I asked her to come back home , and her reply was , `give me time please` She says her intention is to return to Thailand in the next month or so . So we agree to differ, and her decision is probably for the best , I can`t make her understand the importance of respect and consideration , and that being so I don`t intend wasting any more mental energy trying to convince her that her attitude is so very wrong !!

thanks to all, for positive imput and forthright opinions !

Good man.

Take control of the matters at hand.

You said soon to be ex wife, keep that in your head and run with it.

Dont let her or her so called friends at the shop poison your thoughts.

Many Thais abroad when they get together as previously posted think they now know everything to know about farangland. My mates missus is stubborn as chuff and everything she says is golden to her and her cleaner friends at her job she has in the UK. They treat her like queen bee as shes the oldest and longest resident of the UK. She has in my opinion wrecked 3 marriages and caused her own husband to lose interest as she prefers the life away from hubby and her social status, sound familiar ish??

I last seen her over 2 years ago. I asked her do you remember the old ladies in big c cleaning the toilets and aisles? She says yes. I said you have the exact same job but in England.

Oh no my job is better because I have good money and Thai friends here. £6 an hour and married to my mate who isnt loaded but a good man, claiming some sort of hi so life. The jobs probably work out at the same wage taking into account UK prices and she would need to work harder and my favourite no sleeping on the job.

You need to stay strong. Ignore everyone on here and do whats best for YOU and only YOU.

More often than not, the Queen Bee is the one controlling the money borrowing & lending for things such as gambling debts - often at the same interest rates as black money in Thailand

[candypants]

Phew, You have a lot to learn about Thai customs and life style. My wife is the same But i don't care she is the best thing to happen to me. maybe the problem is with yourself. After years of living in her country she has been conditioned to Thai life why try and change it, they live life at a lot slower pace than us maybe a better way in my opinion. just relax and chill, don't read to much into things.

Like the custom of having a gik? No thanks. That she moved out after being confronted about not contacting the OP on his birthday is a sign she was already looking for a reason to leave.

This isn't about Thai culture. They're in the UK. And in the west actions almost always have consequences. She is in violation of the law, and if she's unwilling to make amends with her husband, she needs to go. She can relax and chill -- and have all the sleepovers she wants -- once she's back in LOS.

i have to say this makes sense to me.

When things went wrong with me and the ex she forced my hand.

Went out a few nights in a row coming home at 5am after work.

I flipped out after about the 5th time, kicked her out.

She just didnt know how to go about leaving otherwise.

Friends now, but it was an ugly week.

Not really sure where respect comes into it.

We have discusseed it in hindsight, and In my case she knew how i would react and counted on me not being a doormat.

[GreenSnapper]

The OP should grow a pair then ditch the bitch. What is all this respect. You earn respect, not give it because she is a thai. It sounds like she respects the fleas on her dog more than her husband. Get rid now. Peace.

Correct!

Never ever accept disrespectful behaviour from a woman. Thai or not Thai, doesn't matter. Once you accept disrespect, she will use you as a doormat for the rest of your life.

Most Asian men know that. Many Western men have to learn that.

[welsh1]

Whats the latest update, as the op tracked his teerak down?

Are they now back in love ?

And to the OP wife, the one who makes the sandwiches, I would like to order a beef salad

[jambco984]

Whats the latest update, as the op tracked his teerak down?

Are they now back in love ?

And to the OP wife, the one who makes the sandwiches, I would like to order a beef salad

Post #186

[TommoPhysicist]

An update !

I went to see my soon to be ex wife this afternoon , and the upshot of our meeting , was she did`nt think the no phone call was , as she put it , `a big case` , I asked her to come back home , and her reply was , `give me time please` She says her intention is to return to Thailand in the next month or so . So we agree to differ, and her decision is probably for the best , I can`t make her understand the importance of respect and consideration , and that being so I don`t intend wasting any more mental energy trying to convince her that her attitude is so very wrong !!

thanks to all, for positive imput and forthright opinions !

Don't forget to do your duty and inform immigration of her new single status.

Make sure she stays in Thailand, once she has returned.

Edited February 26, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[metisdead]

Off topic and nonsense posts and replies have been removed.

[transam]

An update !

I went to see my soon to be ex wife this afternoon , and the upshot of our meeting , was she did`nt think the no phone call was , as she put it , `a big case` , I asked her to come back home , and her reply was , `give me time please` She says her intention is to return to Thailand in the next month or so . So we agree to differ, and her decision is probably for the best , I can`t make her understand the importance of respect and consideration , and that being so I don`t intend wasting any more mental energy trying to convince her that her attitude is so very wrong !!

thanks to all, for positive imput and forthright opinions !

Don't forget to do your duty and inform immigration of her new single status.

Make sure she stays in Thailand, once she has returned.

Absolutely, and imagine the bang for a very BIG burst bubble. My mate did it and BANG.

[rene123]

metisdead, on 25 Feb 2013 - 22:18, said:

Off topic and nonsense posts and replies have been removed.

GOOD!

The guy was suffering and too many were inflicting pain.

[transam]

metisdead, on 25 Feb 2013 - 22:18, said:

Off topic and nonsense posts and replies have been removed.

GOOD!

The guy was suffering and too many were inflicting pain.

Life is full of pain, but the pain sometimes opens ones eyes.

[TommoPhysicist]

metisdead, on 25 Feb 2013 - 22:18, said:

Off topic and nonsense posts and replies have been removed.

GOOD!

The guy was suffering and too many were inflicting pain.

Life is full of pain, but the pain sometimes opens ones eyes.

Pain is God's way of saying "Don't do that again".

[mrtoad]

metisdead, on 25 Feb 2013 - 22:18, said:

Off topic and nonsense posts and replies have been removed.

GOOD!

The guy was suffering and too many were inflicting pain.

Life is full of pain, but the pain sometimes opens ones eyes.

Pain is God's way of saying "Don't do that again".

sometimes the truth hurts, hopefully the OP will be able to move on

[rene123]

There are several ways of giving advice. One is to provide some insight into what to do, and do so in an undemeaning manner. Another is to offer advice in a ridiculing manner. Unfortunately, there seems to be more of the latter on these forums.

[kevvy]

micky......stand down. This thread is now like taking a scrubbing brush to a bleeding wound.

Leave things till tomorrow, wander down to the shop and see if she's there, if she is take her in a bunch of flowers and a little note saying that you want to talk, go home and wait.

When ( if ) she walks in give her a chance to talk........whatever she says to you get her to repeat it two or three times. Let her talk herself out then deal with what has been said. If you listen then things may be repairable, if you don't listen then that's unlikely. So no more ranting.

Just go and give your wife an invitation to talk to you the old fashioned way and see what transpires.

Good luck.

That's nice......really, and I hope that can work for Micky. I would admit that at 48 it is a little less likely that she has been playing around but I think it would be wise to have a Plan B in the background.

Worse comes to the worse and in one year's time he can get an over 65 visa just by showing his pension statement.

We can guess, second guess and triple guess to our hearts content but at the end of the day it's a matrimonial problem, and it will only be fixed by giving the couple space to breathe and space to talk.

That's not to say there hasn't been plenty of good advice on the thread already, and plenty of food for thought for micky, but the bottom line is.......( and I think we would all agree this ) he has to talk to his wife, and even more importantly.......listen to what she says.

why am I agreeing with you so much lately

[transam]

There are several ways of giving advice. One is to provide some insight into what to do, and do so in an undemeaning manner. Another is to offer advice in a ridiculing manner. Unfortunately, there seems to be more of the latter on these forums.

Any written word is food for thought.

[TommoPhysicist]

There are several ways of giving advice. One is to provide some insight into what to do, and do so in an undemeaning manner. Another is to offer advice in a ridiculing manner. Unfortunately, there seems to be more of the latter on these forums.

It's hard to tell someone their wife has probably been cheating on them for quite a while while pretending to work overtime or having sleep-overs with her friends, then dumped him a little bit too early cos she didn't really understand the conditions for her settlement VISA, in a sensitive and undemeaning manner IMHO.

You have a go and show us all how it should be done!

[Mosha]

An update !

I went to see my soon to be ex wife this afternoon , and the upshot of our meeting , was she did`nt think the no phone call was , as she put it , `a big case` , I asked her to come back home , and her reply was , `give me time please` She says her intention is to return to Thailand in the next month or so . So we agree to differ, and her decision is probably for the best , I can`t make her understand the importance of respect and consideration , and that being so I don`t intend wasting any more mental energy trying to convince her that her attitude is so very wrong !!

thanks to all, for positive imput and forthright opinions !

I think now is a good time to talk to CAB. They'll set you up with a free 30 minute chat with a solicitor.

[Mosha]

Whats the latest update, as the op tracked his teerak down?

Are they now back in love ?

And to the OP wife, the one who makes the sandwiches, I would like to order a beef salad

Post #186

You ever get the impression people don't go to the last read post?

[theblether]

There are several ways of giving advice. One is to provide some insight into what to do, and do so in an undemeaning manner. Another is to offer advice in a ridiculing manner. Unfortunately, there seems to be more of the latter on these forums.

It's hard to tell someone their wife has probably been cheating on them for quite a while while pretending to work overtime or having sleep-overs with her friends, then dumped him a little bit too early cos she didn't really understand the conditions for her settlement VISA, in a sensitive and undemeaning manner IMHO.

You have a go and show us all how it should be done!

Tommo you're out of order......as far as I can see your making wild assumptions and accusing a woman you have never met of infidelity.

I don't know if you get a kick out of that but to me it's breaking one of the cardinal rules of Thaivisa in connection with being abusive about members partners.

Unless you have proof of infidelity, shut your mouth.......or stop tapping the keyboard.

Up to you.

[cardholder]

There are several ways of giving advice. One is to provide some insight into what to do, and do so in an undemeaning manner. Another is to offer advice in a ridiculing manner. Unfortunately, there seems to be more of the latter on these forums.

It's hard to tell someone their wife has probably been cheating on them for quite a while while pretending to work overtime or having sleep-overs with her friends, then dumped him a little bit too early cos she didn't really understand the conditions for her settlement VISA, in a sensitive and undemeaning manner IMHO.

You have a go and show us all how it should be done!

Tommo you're out of order......as far as I can see your making wild assumptions and accusing a woman you have never met of infidelity.

I don't know if you get a kick out of that but to me it's breaking one of the cardinal rules of Thaivisa in connection with being abusive about members partners.

Unless you have proof of infidelity, shut your mouth.......or stop tapping the keyboard.

Up to you.

On this occasion I think you are wrong.

Tommo used the word "probably" - hardly an accusation. Assumptive perhaps.

But... the OP has come onto to an open forum to tell everyone that his wife, aged 48, has been staying out on sleep-overs, wasn't respecting him and walked out the first time he had the balls to challenge.

Now, call me naive, but I think that post (in which advice was sought) left itself total open to an honest opinion that his wife COULD be playing away.

Tommo may have used his inimitable style to convey that, but he was right to point out the possibility.

Anyway, it is past Midday in the UK - what news from the OP of the workplace visit ?

[theblether]

There are several ways of giving advice. One is to provide some insight into what to do, and do so in an undemeaning manner. Another is to offer advice in a ridiculing manner. Unfortunately, there seems to be more of the latter on these forums.

It's hard to tell someone their wife has probably been cheating on them for quite a while while pretending to work overtime or having sleep-overs with her friends, then dumped him a little bit too early cos she didn't really understand the conditions for her settlement VISA, in a sensitive and undemeaning manner IMHO.

You have a go and show us all how it should be done!

Tommo you're out of order......as far as I can see your making wild assumptions and accusing a woman you have never met of infidelity.

I don't know if you get a kick out of that but to me it's breaking one of the cardinal rules of Thaivisa in connection with being abusive about members partners.

Unless you have proof of infidelity, shut your mouth.......or stop tapping the keyboard.

Up to you.

On this occasion I think you are wrong.

Tommo used the word "probably" - hardly an accusation. Assumptive perhaps.

But... the OP has come onto to an open forum to tell everyone that his wife, aged 48, has been staying out on sleep-overs, wasn't respecting him and walked out the first time he had the balls to challenge.

Now, call me naive, but I think that post (in which advice was sought) left itself total open to an honest opinion that his wife COULD be playing away.

Tommo may have used his inimitable style to convey that, but he was right to point out the possibility.

Anyway, it is past Midday in the UK - what news from the OP of the workplace visit ?

Anyway my post will give Tommo a chance to go all self righteous and indignant, he likes that, so it wasn't a waste of time.

Post 186 explained the current situ ( as far as I know ).