A Most Unusual And As Yet Unexplained Disappearance Of My Thai Wife

[rgs2001uk]

Two words not yet been mentioned, gambling (debts) and face.

It may well be she sold the house to fund/help out family?

Where do her family live, why not go visit?

[TommoPhysicist]

If she has a UK passport, she can easily get half of everything you have in the UK.

After 35 years, UK courts will consider everything jointly owned, including inherited assets, pensions (only those earned while married to her), all property in your name .

So the question you have to ask yourself is, does she have access to UK courts?

(I would imagine after a 35 year marriage she most likely does)

[keystone]

The rest aside, keystone, it's a horrible situation for you, the not knowing why, the deceit, particularly after thirty-five years of marriage. I was still in junior school in 1978.

I wouldn't wish your present situation on my enemies. Take care.

Thanks Wool.

[keystone]

Two words not yet been mentioned, gambling (debts) and face.

It may well be she sold the house to fund/help out family?

Where do her family live, why not go visit?

Thanks, have already gone along that Avenue.

[transam]

My ex UK wife tried to sell our house and l was still living in it. She thought she could .

[TommoPhysicist]

Just a thought for the OP

Maybe she sold the house in Thailand to pay for her ticket back to the UK, where she is currently filing for divorce in your absence, due to desertion.

It's what I would do. if I were her.

[Mario2008]

All assest gained during the marriage are to be divided, including the ones abroad.

[diddums]

Just a thought for the OP

Maybe she sold the house in Thailand to pay for her ticket back to the UK, where she is currently filing for divorce in your absence, due to desertion.

It's what I would do. if I were her.

cunning.... mischievous....nasty....creative

[Radar501]

Husband and wife for 35 years, and there were no warning bells that something was wrong?

Married to a stranger.

[TommoPhysicist]

Husband and wife for 35 years, and there were no warning bells that something was wrong?

Married to a stranger.

I would disagree, women can be extremely devious, sneaky and cold-hearted.

After 25 years of marriage my UK wife planned a divorce for over a year without me knowing, then it was too late.

This could, and does, happen to men all over the world, regardless of their nationality, or of their wifes nationality.

[transam]

Husband and wife for 35 years, and there were no warning bells that something was wrong?

Married to a stranger.

Some of us have been there and many years on still scratching my head.

[keystone]

All assest gained during the marriage are to be divided, including the ones abroad.

Thanks Mario.

If, come the time of the divorce I have no assets in Thailand and the UK, then my wife will be owing me money (proceeds of the sale of the house). The only share she will be receiving is half of government pension and two personal pensions.

Am I correct in the above??

[Mario2008]

The pension part can depend and I can't comment on that as I'm not knowledgable on that, also can depend a lot on where the divorce takes place.

[TommoPhysicist]

All assest gained during the marriage are to be divided, including the ones abroad.

Thanks Mario.

If, come the time of the divorce I have no assets in Thailand and the UK, then my wife will be owing me money (proceeds of the sale of the house). The only share she will be receiving is half of government pension and two personal pensions.

Am I correct in the above??

She won't be owing you money from the sale of the house, it is no longer an asset.

Don't leave any money in the UK, they can punish you for selling the other UK assets, highest award on your pensions is 50% no matter what assets you dispose of.

The UK has a firm rule on pensions division 50% max, no matter what you owe or steal from her.

House, savings, endowment policies ...... they can give her 100% if they feel you didn't play fair, so get rid.

[amykat]

Sorry to say this, but don't some of you find this extremely odd ...the fact that the woman thought ahead enough to sell the house, but then moved out without taking any of her clothes (and I assume any other things?) as well as she left her Thai ID and UK passport??

The OP says he was out of town? So, that means she would have had the opportunity to take her things.

If she got cash for the house how do we know she didn't give it to you, or share it with you, before going missing?

Did she leave her vehicle also?

It surely seems like people should be worried that something bad has happened to this woman!

[MegaRanter]

Nothing untoward happened to her. Been there done that. These teeraks can munch on your heart while it is still beating.

The neighbour bought the house cash, if any suspects should be looked for, the house new owner ranks high on my list.

[saakura]

35 years of wedded bliss as the op does not allude to any kind of problems in the long marraige. After so long, a couple can read each other's minds. They came back to enjoy the golden years. And she sells the house and disappears. A woman, probably in her late fifties, and without children, would not do this without very very good reasons. She was feeling insecure? OP was faithful but maybe she thought this might change since having come to thailand? Women are very good at sensing impending problems?

[Payboy]

Maybe she isn't want to leave the UK for the boonies. Didn't want to leave her friends behind after all those years. Has the OP asked around back in the UK?

[amykat]

Maybe she isn't want to leave the UK for the boonies. Didn't want to leave her friends behind after all those years. Has the OP asked around back in the UK?

After being back in Thailand for over 10 years??!!

[Phronesis]

Personally, I think the elephant in the room is the OP's next door neighbour...

He has know that xxxxxx for more than a decade...and still get shafted by them...

[Payboy]

Maybe she isn't want to leave the UK for the boonies. Didn't want to leave her friends behind after all those years. Has the OP asked around back in the UK?

After being back in Thailand for over 10 years??!!

10 years waiting for an upgrade from the townhouse to a villa.

[amykat]

You think it is strange the neighbor screwed him over? Thai people will never tell "the farang" anything, of value, that is, over protecting another Thai. They don't even need to collude together to keep certain secrets, it is understood by everyone in the country.

Of course I feel very sorry for the OP, if indeed everything is on the up and up, but playing devil's advocate for a moment ....let me see, the OP just joined TV for this topic only, after living here for over 10 years? He doesn't seem interested in what happened, or why, or speculate at all, and seems not at all concerned about finding his wife of 35 years. He seems to feel confident that she won't come back in a week, or two, or ten. He didn't seem concerned about how a divorce would effect him, other than how long it might take to get remarried. (Other than in the case that other people brought it up and he responded.) I mean, what was he asking in this post exactly?

He tells us nothing about his wife, what kind of person she was, what might bring this on, the state of their relationship, but tells us irrevelvant info, like that she had a "UK passport, and kept her Thai passport up to date" and that they married in Thailand. That he had receipts for the stuff he moved from their house? After 35 years of marriage, both legally and morally, wouldn't everyone consider any "stuff" purchased to be from joint funds, and therefore jointy owned? Why bring this up? He already knows where he wants to buy a new condo ...with what money, maybe the money from the house, that she brought home, before she went missing? (Remember I am playing devil's advocate here, I am not saying he doesn't have enough money to buy whatever he wants ...and I again, am very sorry to say all of this, but in the spirit of TV when we all speculate to death over every guy who goes over a balcony ...this exact story seems ripe for some speculation that this woman might have been killed, to me anyway.)

He talks about his visa situation, as if that is very important ...luckily for him, it is based on retirement and not marriage. His wife, doesn't take many or most things that would be of value to her, and doesn't just go for a divorce where it seems she would benefit greatly, much more than just taking the house money. Does she really not know or not care, that she could get a lifetime of pension payments and half of whatever they own in the UK?

He seems to be "going to the police" just to get his divorce situation in order, and not because he has any worry about her? He seems to have planned his move rather well, and there is no explantion about how this happened ... no expression of shock, like HOLY SHIT, I had one hour of notice and had to get all my things out ....whatever ...I mean, after this long of a marriage, and this shocking of an event, I would expect a much different nature of this post. I actually would expect, if he were to just start posting about this and only this, that he might want to know what people think might have happened?

And if this WAS a typical Thai wife taking everything and leaving story, the Thai wife, would have taken every single thing of any value, that she could take, and it seems she had the opportunity to take those things. That alone, would have made this story credible sounding, to me.

Really, how many murdered wives are there in the world, who leave all their stuff, their purse, their phone, their car, their clothes, and the husband says "I don't know what happened, she just left for some ice-cream and never came back"?

And sold the house in cash, which she could have done on the direction of her husband, and delivered the money to him, before, obviously ...this doesn't mean she stole the money and ran, but a good excuse.

Well, again, I am sorry this happened to the OP, assuming he did nothing wrong, but it just seems wrong not to mention this possible circumstance. This just leaves me with a very bad feeling.

[TommoPhysicist]

You think it is strange the neighbor screwed him over? Thai people will never tell "the farang" anything, of value, that is, over protecting another Thai. They don't even need to collude together to keep certain secrets, it is understood by everyone in the country.

Of course I feel very sorry for the OP, if indeed everything is on the up and up, but playing devil's advocate for a moment ....let me see, the OP just joined TV for this topic only, after living here for over 10 years? He doesn't seem interested in what happened, or why, or speculate at all, and seems not at all concerned about finding his wife of 35 years. He seems to feel confident that she won't come back in a week, or two, or ten. He didn't seem concerned about how a divorce would effect him, other than how long it might take to get remarried. (Other than in the case that other people brought it up and he responded.) I mean, what was he asking in this post exactly?

He tells us nothing about his wife, what kind of person she was, what might bring this on, the state of their relationship, but tells us irrevelvant info, like that she had a "UK passport, and kept her Thai passport up to date" and that they married in Thailand. That he had receipts for the stuff he moved from their house? After 35 years of marriage, both legally and morally, wouldn't everyone consider any "stuff" purchased to be from joint funds, and therefore jointy owned? Why bring this up? He already knows where he wants to buy a new condo ...with what money, maybe the money from the house, that she brought home, before she went missing? (Remember I am playing devil's advocate here, I am not saying he doesn't have enough money to buy whatever he wants ...and I again, am very sorry to say all of this, but in the spirit of TV when we all speculate to death over every guy who goes over a balcony ...this exact story seems ripe for some speculation that this woman might have been killed, to me anyway.)

Gotta say none of this was relavant to the story.

My own English wife of 25+ years was a lovely and respectable schoolteacher and a good mother and homemaker ....... until the day she wasn't.

Either we guys are very poor at spotting a bad un, or women are very good at dissembling all their lives, or sudden personility changes in women are more common than many people care to think.

Oh, and when my wife disappeared very suddenly in the UK, abducting our young children and my dog ..... the UK police didn't give a flying f*.

I really miss that dog!

[JDGRUEN]

While menopause can contribute heavily to OP's problems (I know the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine very well), if his wife is past age 55 she is likely post menopausal. But we aging people in general and post menopausal women in particular often get a sense of pending mortality. Sometimes this realization causes people to do strange things. Throw all this into Thai family and cultural tradition and who knows what will happen. Crazy things do happen - in the USA I was sued for divorce and we were not even married. She attempted claiming 'common law' marriage upon divorce to get assets which is allowed under Texas law - but she lost- what a trying two years that was.

Regardless of country or location or assets - even regardless of divorce laws - if it were me - I would protect my assets at nearly all costs - even flaunting the law if I could do it without too much risk of serious consequence. I would certainly pull my assets from any place where a divorce court could have jurisdiction over them until this matter was resolved. TRUST NO ONE in this case - nor any court is my advice. At OP's age - losing the wife and the house is bad enough - but losing additional significant assets in late age could ruin a life totally. The reason I say this - if she is conniving enough to do what she did - what else has she up her sleeve?

[TommoPhysicist]

While menopause can contribute heavily to OP's problems (I know the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine very well), if his wife is past age 55 she is likely post menopausal. But we aging people in general and post menopausal women in particular often get a sense of pending mortality. Sometimes this realization causes people to do strange things. Throw all this into Thai family and cultural tradition and who knows what will happen. Crazy things do happen - in the USA I was sued for divorce and we were not even married. She attempted claiming 'common law' marriage upon divorce to get assets which is allowed under Texas law - but she lost- what a trying two years that was.

Regardless of country or location or assets - even regardless of divorce laws - if it were me - I would protect my assets at nearly all costs - even flaunting the law if I could do it without too much risk of serious consequence. I would certainly pull my assets from any place where a divorce court could have jurisdiction over them until this matter was resolved. TRUST NO ONE in this case - nor any court is my advice. At OP's age - losing the wife and the house is bad enough - but losing additional significant assets in late age could ruin a life totally. The reason I say this - if she is conniving enough to do what she did - what else has she up her sleeve?

Well said.

[amykat]

Well, why are you guys assuming that only WOMEN can go wrong, change, or screw you over, you have NEVER heard of MEN who do the same???

And why are assuming that the OP is telling us the 100% truth? Because you can relate with the man? I can relate to what you have said many times Tommo, but in my case, the offender was my husband, a MAN and I'm pretty sure, according to what you have said about your own situation, that my MAN was signficantly worse. This isn't a man or woman only thing, this is a people thing.

Is it impossible, that the man in this situation, might have been the bad guy, and the woman might have been murdered? In order to protect "at all costs" HIS (so-called) assets? Are there not men in the world who kill women in order to avoid child support, or divorce costs? Or for other reasons, control, abuse, whatever?

I tend to always side with the expat as far as TV stories go, but this story, as presented so far, is just ringing wrong with me. And maybe if you were more open minded to "other" people doing bad things, not only post-menopausal women, you would see that, as I know you are a very smart guy!

[JDGRUEN]

As for me - and my opinion - both men and women do bad things to their partners - it is a matter of record everywhere - to make an understatement. OP says he was out of the country at the time of the house sale and her disappearance (I believe he said that anyway) - so I accept that part of the story for discussion purposes. The neighbor bought the house for cash. Did OP somehow force this upon his wife ? Let's get realistic here - the wife took the action - and what else is she doing?

I too think there is more to the story - she was it would seem very unhappy. But I have seen men and women who were totally oblivious to the unhappy spouse - especially if they hide it. Being oblivious, while being harmful to oneself - is not a crime. So OP's story sounds plausible enough to me - even with the gaps of information. One cannot successfully dissect an OP on TV - if he/she is not willing to divulge all the sordid details. So guessing and applying bad interpretations at every turn does not help OP.

Being a man - who does not have romantic relationships with men - when I discuss these types of matters I focus quite naturally on women - women with whom I have had good and bad relationships. For me - in my life experience menopausal and post menopausal women are exceedingly difficult to get along with (some men can deal with it - I cannot). Having a science and medical background I don't make light of biological functions that afflict women. But being on the receiving end of extreme hormonal mood swings is wearing to the point of sheer exhaustion - a least for me. I have found in these episodes that the woman would never ever tell me what was on her mind - I was supposed to read her mind somehow .. Maybe that is part of what happened to OP - guilty of not being a mind reader.

[wooloomooloo]

Well, why are you guys assuming that only WOMEN can go wrong, change, or screw you over, you have NEVER heard of MEN who do the same???

Nobody has assumed anything of the sort.

And why are assuming that the OP is telling us the 100% truth?

Forum members can only respond to what is presented by the OP.

[keystone]

Let me try and explain further re the unexpected disappearance of my wife.

Two points I would mention is that I have posted many times on this board but under a different name. The reason for my posting this particular thread under the name Keystone is obvious (to those who have the intelligence) and my second point is that I'm telling the truth and of course if you don't believe, that's entirely up to you.

As I've mentioned previously, I have been married for 35 years and for most of that time my wife has lived in the UK where she had employment, steady income and security knowing that I was taking care of her.

In 2002 we both decided to relocate to Thailand where I purchased a townhouse. She seemed happy enough during those 11 years, making new friends within the village, frequent shopping trips, etc. There was nothing strange in her behavour, just like a normal wife. Admittedly we did have the usual petty arguments, that's only normal but nothing seriously happened.

The following therefore is a complete mystery:

Approximately 3 weeks ago, my wife left the townhouse carrying her shopping bag. As she didn't return later that day, I assumed she had gone to a friend's house, not far from where we lived and stayed over. I tried to contact her by telephone but there was no answer. When you can speak just a little Thai, it's sometimes hard to converse with the Thai people nearby.

It wasn't until the following morning that I found out from, believe it or not, the next door neighbour that my wife had sold the property, and to my amazement had sold it to the next door neighbour for considerably less than it was worth. There was no question of a bank loan to purchase the townhouse, the proceeds were paid to my wife in cash.

As I mentioned ealier all my wife took with her that day was her shopping bag. All her personal property, clothes, etc were left in the house.

With the help of several Thai friends and a truck, I was able to move everything from the house to a spare room and have virtually sold almost all the furniture and I am currently living in a rented condo. I have more than a sufficient income so I have no worries in that respect and I'm on a Retirement extension (90 day reporting by mail).

Whist moving furniture and effects, one of my Thai friends learnt from one of the neighbours that my wife said that the next door neighbour can have all the furniture in the house as my husband wont be able to collect and store all the furniture and furthermore, this person said that my wife may have gone to Bangna to see her cousin. My wife has no family now and she has mentioned this cousin in Bangna but of course I've no idea where in Bangna.

Conclusion:

It is like my wife wanted to start a new life and completely forget the past. Even photos of my UK family (now deceased) which she treasured amongst other things were left at the house.

A most unusual, unexplained and a complete mystery to me.

A few days ago, I went to the local police station with a Thai friend and filed a report of the situation of which I have a copy.

If I do not hear anything from my wife within the next 12 months, I believe I can file for divorce for desertion by going through the court in the province where we were married.

I don't believe there is anything more I can do.

[transam]

Yep, she wants a different life. Been there and got the T shirt. Sad, yes, difficult to understand, yes.

Move on and l hope you can recoup half the cash involved. I say this cos at least you will feel a bit better that she has not ripped you off after a lifetime together. I got that T shirt too.