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Also if OP is still around, how much compensation money was being asked to settle the accident outside of court ? I wonder if the time spent in jail was worth it in hindsight

350.000 Baht.

A western guy who killed a member of my Thai family in a hit & run paid the same amount. He was arrested at a police check point, 48 hours in police cell, released and handed back his passport. Why did you have to pay 350k?

Edited by simple1
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I got out of Samui Jan 2011. The worst place for me was 9 days at Surat on the way to IDC. That place was filthy with just one small dish of watery rice per day and tap water to drink.

31 days I have been in that filth hole. they waited until there were enough Burmese, so it was worth the drive. Ranong was dirty as well, and weird. Been there 5 days.

Monkey house madness part 1 .......... Feb 2011

The Thai prison experience is not to be recommended. Although the Samui monkey house is quite new and small with about 300 guys and 200 girls it didn't take the savages long to make it dirty. So It's just a new, dirty, hot little remand prison. They transfer people away to other less salubrious institutions; Nakon sii Thammarat or Bangkok who get more than 10 years, which is supposed to get rid of the rif-raf, so the place is heaving with violent offenders and others with heavy sentences for hard drugs waiting to be transferred. There were about 30 lady boys sporting shaved heads, botox buttocks and big breasts Not much violence considering the mix of people. A few punch-ups here and there among the population. All in all it was plain boring for me. I read lots of books.

The food was absolute crap. About half of the inmates had regular visits and they'd get at least some edible food brought in every week but otherwise it was pork fat in a horrible curry or fish head soup or plain rice soup sometimes with a side order of peanuts! Wow. then we'd get chicken things in a curry.... sometimes bones and feet. But if you had money you could buy stale cookies and drinks from the prison shop and order overpriced Thai food from "outside" which was made by the wives of the guards and to be honest wasn't much improvement on the prison sludge.

The guards seemed to leave the Farangs alone probably because they couldn't communicate in English but they'd beat the crap out of the Thais if they did something wrong like fighting, stealing or trying to smuggle cigarettes in to the room. They were especially hard on the Burmese inmates. One of the guards the farangs had nick-named "Scary" would dish out novel punishments like having to roll in the dirt and sharp stones from one side of the yard to the other and back again ...for 5 or 6 hours! The guard would stand over them with a big stick in one hand and a bottle of water in the other to pour on them to make them nice and sticky. There were lots of variations on that punishment. Sometimes they would have to piggy back someone around the yard for hours or we saw one guy do 1000 squats. Thats with hands on hips and squatting then standing up and down 1000 times counting each squat out loud. He couldn't walk for 3 days afterwards. Another sadistic one was getting the prisoner to climb up the chain link fence a metre or so and then just hang on to the wire with fingers and toes for a couple of hours chanting "I will not lie to the boss guard" ouch! Other times they would just beat them. Make 'em lay on their stomachs and beat them on the back with a big piece of wood. .Lovely.

There were between 15-20 farang in there, mostly for drugs. Heavy sentences for "ice"- a Kiwi is doing 12 years for 4 grams, a Nigerian got the death penalty commuted to 50 years for 50gm, a Turkish guy got 3 years for 0.4gm, a Thai guy got 1 year for stealing a chicken!, and a Burmese was doing 18 months for cutting a tree down (under the orders of his Thai boss but the Burmese was the one holding the chainsaw).... 2 years for rape, 7 years for rape, 8 years for murdering a Thai, 1 year for murdering a Burmese! Lots of murderers on Samui. You would never know to look at them or talk to them.... one young Thai guy about 25 who had a very quiet personality and was polite and friendly was a hit-man and he had killed 7 people. But you'd never know just talking to him. Scary shit really. .... as you can see the sentencing is not very consistent.

They would let us out at 6.30 in the morning and back inside the rooms at 4pm. We had to line up and be counted 5 times per day. We we permited a TV and DVD player in the room which got well used but the guards would turn them off at 9pm ... but not the lights!!!. Lights on all night, sleep on the hard tiled floor with a couple of folded blankets for a matress. Most of the time it was very cramped sleeping arrangements; It was impossible to roll over to change your sleeping position, you would have to "shuffle" getting kicked in the face by someone next to you was the norm as was waking up with numb limbs... To make more space we would tie blankets together and string them up like hammocks to make room on the floor. It was tight with 18 people but sometimes we had 23 or 24. Dunno how we did id it. During the day we would just sit at our little table and read or play checkers or talk. I usually buried my head in a book. I must have read 200 books but can hardly remember any of 'em.

There was one thing the native population liked to do that I could never get my head around was the practise of mutilating ones penis - the purpose eludes me as I could see no point in such disfigurement even in the name of art, especially where the mutilations were performed without anaesthetic and in the most unhygienic of circumstances, the ensuing scarring of tissue that I would assume would lead to at least some damage to the fine nerve endings we have in our nether regions. There seemed to be several styles preferred requiring a variety of masochistic methods to complete the process.

On one of the first days of my stay one of the Thai captives said "hey, what are you in for and take a look at this...." and proceeded to show me something in his pants that I guess used to be his dick. It was now a festered lumpy thing with what looked like a dead flower hanging on the end. I said "<deleted> is that?" he said "I got 13" ... 13 what? ...."13 beads"- "Oh I see" I said. So without having to look too closely and with further explanation I was able to ascertain this idiot had inserted 13 glass beads under the skin of the shaft of his penis and in addition he had sliced the foreskin to make it look like a flower. The glass beads were supposed to be in a uniform pattern but obviously had moved and many were clustered together. Somewhat dazed I went to consult the long termer farangs who I was sure would be able to shed some light on this bizarre practise.

I had managed to receive a jar of Vegemite that was left in the fridge of the bungalow I used to live in that a Thai friend brought to me on a visit a few days before. The guard checking the items delivered by visitors had obviously been asleep or had been distracted by her smile and had not noticed the Vegemite was in a glass jar. Such things as tin cans and glass containers are forbidden as the savages might attempt suicide with broken glass or worse; fashion beads out of the broken pieces of glass and insert them under the skin of their dicks! One of the farangs said I could sell the empty Vegemite jar for 2 packs of cigarettes. I said "Wow" cos that sounded like a good deal for an empty glass jar. The guys explained to me the savages would then break the jar and spend hours grinding down the pieces of broken jar on a rough piece of concrete into smooth oval beads. Then they could slice their dicks open with the blade from a blunt disposable razor and insert the beads under the skin . I said "but WHY?" One of the more educated farangs said the practise has it's roots in ancient tribal customs and another said his mate in Germany had a bead surgically inserted on the top of his penis so his girlfriend might gain some extra stimulation. Ah ha! Indeed I had seen something like this on a porn movie once ... or twice. "But this guy had 13 beads, and had his foreskin sliced to make it look like a flower" I said. The farangs said "Yes we know and we don't know why, this is Thailand Al" I couldn't imagine Thai guys doing this to enhance their girlfriend's sexual pleasure. I started to think that maybe this was why Thai girls would tell farangs they didn't like Thai guys. What, with penises that looked like a durian with the sharp bits rounded off it's not a pretty sight. The farangs told me there is a guy sporting 24 beads and he believes it to be a Samui prison record. Someone asked me if I had seen the dick on Nong sitting over there, beckoning him over. "Not yet, but it looks like I'm going to" I said. Nong has had his penis enlarged by injecting a large quantity of Vaseline petroleum jelly under his dick skin. Where they got the very large hypodermic needle from is a mystery but I was later to witness briefly the injecting process while I was innocently brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Of course after the jelly is injected it settles at the knob end in a large bulbous mass. Nong's dick looked like a large pear hanging between his legs. Ugly

Interesting.

Hope I never have to enter such premises.

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Also if OP is still around, how much compensation money was being asked to settle the accident outside of court ? I wonder if the time spent in jail was worth it in hindsight

350.000 Baht.

A western guy who killed a member of my Thai family in a hit & run paid the same amount. He was arrested at a police check point, 48 hours in police cell, released and handed back his passport. Why did you have to pay 350k?

You friend I persume was fast enough to pay and bow quickly. Good for him. I haven't had a chance to do that. If I could have, I would have, too.

After ones arrest the police would "normaly" hold you only for 24 hours. The next morning it's off to court. At court you will be put in a holding cell with prisoners coming from prison who have court day as well. Then you got 2-3 hours time to come up with bail, fine or both, just to get out on bail. If no ones there quick enough to bail you out you will go to prison. Once in prison it's a whole lot different story. Some people would come up with the bail money after 2 or 3 days and the court would just double it. My bail was first doubled, then trippled, and then I didn't bother anymore.

Criminal courts don't really care if you pay compensation. That would be at the Civil Court. I was at Criminal court for drunk driving crashing a vehicle. In Thai the case is called: "Mau la cap lot chonn" Even if I had the money to compensate, I would have still be on trial for drunk driving crashing a vehicle. Get it? Don't compare one case with a similar case in Thailand. The results are always different.

As AlHeyward mentioned above the sentencing is not very consistend.

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I got out of Samui Jan 2011. The worst place for me was 9 days at Surat on the way to IDC. That place was filthy with just one small dish of watery rice per day and tap water to drink.

31 days I have been in that filth hole. they waited until there were enough Burmese, so it was worth the drive. Ranong was dirty as well, and weird. Been there 5 days.

Monkey house madness part 1 .......... Feb 2011

The Thai prison experience is not to be recommended. Although the Samui monkey house is quite new and small with about 300 guys and 200 girls it didn't take the savages long to make it dirty. So It's just a new, dirty, hot little remand prison. They transfer people away to other less salubrious institutions; Nakon sii Thammarat or Bangkok who get more than 10 years, which is supposed to get rid of the rif-raf, so the place is heaving with violent offenders and others with heavy sentences for hard drugs waiting to be transferred. There were about 30 lady boys sporting shaved heads, botox buttocks and big breasts Not much violence considering the mix of people. A few punch-ups here and there among the population. All in all it was plain boring for me. I read lots of books.

The food was absolute crap. About half of the inmates had regular visits and they'd get at least some edible food brought in every week but otherwise it was pork fat in a horrible curry or fish head soup or plain rice soup sometimes with a side order of peanuts! Wow. then we'd get chicken things in a curry.... sometimes bones and feet. But if you had money you could buy stale cookies and drinks from the prison shop and order overpriced Thai food from "outside" which was made by the wives of the guards and to be honest wasn't much improvement on the prison sludge.

The guards seemed to leave the Farangs alone probably because they couldn't communicate in English but they'd beat the crap out of the Thais if they did something wrong like fighting, stealing or trying to smuggle cigarettes in to the room. They were especially hard on the Burmese inmates. One of the guards the farangs had nick-named "Scary" would dish out novel punishments like having to roll in the dirt and sharp stones from one side of the yard to the other and back again ...for 5 or 6 hours! The guard would stand over them with a big stick in one hand and a bottle of water in the other to pour on them to make them nice and sticky. There were lots of variations on that punishment. Sometimes they would have to piggy back someone around the yard for hours or we saw one guy do 1000 squats. Thats with hands on hips and squatting then standing up and down 1000 times counting each squat out loud. He couldn't walk for 3 days afterwards. Another sadistic one was getting the prisoner to climb up the chain link fence a metre or so and then just hang on to the wire with fingers and toes for a couple of hours chanting "I will not lie to the boss guard" ouch! Other times they would just beat them. Make 'em lay on their stomachs and beat them on the back with a big piece of wood. .Lovely.

There were between 15-20 farang in there, mostly for drugs. Heavy sentences for "ice"- a Kiwi is doing 12 years for 4 grams, a Nigerian got the death penalty commuted to 50 years for 50gm, a Turkish guy got 3 years for 0.4gm, a Thai guy got 1 year for stealing a chicken!, and a Burmese was doing 18 months for cutting a tree down (under the orders of his Thai boss but the Burmese was the one holding the chainsaw).... 2 years for rape, 7 years for rape, 8 years for murdering a Thai, 1 year for murdering a Burmese! Lots of murderers on Samui. You would never know to look at them or talk to them.... one young Thai guy about 25 who had a very quiet personality and was polite and friendly was a hit-man and he had killed 7 people. But you'd never know just talking to him. Scary shit really. .... as you can see the sentencing is not very consistent.

They would let us out at 6.30 in the morning and back inside the rooms at 4pm. We had to line up and be counted 5 times per day. We we permited a TV and DVD player in the room which got well used but the guards would turn them off at 9pm ... but not the lights!!!. Lights on all night, sleep on the hard tiled floor with a couple of folded blankets for a matress. Most of the time it was very cramped sleeping arrangements; It was impossible to roll over to change your sleeping position, you would have to "shuffle" getting kicked in the face by someone next to you was the norm as was waking up with numb limbs... To make more space we would tie blankets together and string them up like hammocks to make room on the floor. It was tight with 18 people but sometimes we had 23 or 24. Dunno how we did id it. During the day we would just sit at our little table and read or play checkers or talk. I usually buried my head in a book. I must have read 200 books but can hardly remember any of 'em.

There was one thing the native population liked to do that I could never get my head around was the practise of mutilating ones penis - the purpose eludes me as I could see no point in such disfigurement even in the name of art, especially where the mutilations were performed without anaesthetic and in the most unhygienic of circumstances, the ensuing scarring of tissue that I would assume would lead to at least some damage to the fine nerve endings we have in our nether regions. There seemed to be several styles preferred requiring a variety of masochistic methods to complete the process.

On one of the first days of my stay one of the Thai captives said "hey, what are you in for and take a look at this...." and proceeded to show me something in his pants that I guess used to be his dick. It was now a festered lumpy thing with what looked like a dead flower hanging on the end. I said "<deleted> is that?" he said "I got 13" ... 13 what? ...."13 beads"- "Oh I see" I said. So without having to look too closely and with further explanation I was able to ascertain this idiot had inserted 13 glass beads under the skin of the shaft of his penis and in addition he had sliced the foreskin to make it look like a flower. The glass beads were supposed to be in a uniform pattern but obviously had moved and many were clustered together. Somewhat dazed I went to consult the long termer farangs who I was sure would be able to shed some light on this bizarre practise.

I had managed to receive a jar of Vegemite that was left in the fridge of the bungalow I used to live in that a Thai friend brought to me on a visit a few days before. The guard checking the items delivered by visitors had obviously been asleep or had been distracted by her smile and had not noticed the Vegemite was in a glass jar. Such things as tin cans and glass containers are forbidden as the savages might attempt suicide with broken glass or worse; fashion beads out of the broken pieces of glass and insert them under the skin of their dicks! One of the farangs said I could sell the empty Vegemite jar for 2 packs of cigarettes. I said "Wow" cos that sounded like a good deal for an empty glass jar. The guys explained to me the savages would then break the jar and spend hours grinding down the pieces of broken jar on a rough piece of concrete into smooth oval beads. Then they could slice their dicks open with the blade from a blunt disposable razor and insert the beads under the skin . I said "but WHY?" One of the more educated farangs said the practise has it's roots in ancient tribal customs and another said his mate in Germany had a bead surgically inserted on the top of his penis so his girlfriend might gain some extra stimulation. Ah ha! Indeed I had seen something like this on a porn movie once ... or twice. "But this guy had 13 beads, and had his foreskin sliced to make it look like a flower" I said. The farangs said "Yes we know and we don't know why, this is Thailand Al" I couldn't imagine Thai guys doing this to enhance their girlfriend's sexual pleasure. I started to think that maybe this was why Thai girls would tell farangs they didn't like Thai guys. What, with penises that looked like a durian with the sharp bits rounded off it's not a pretty sight. The farangs told me there is a guy sporting 24 beads and he believes it to be a Samui prison record. Someone asked me if I had seen the dick on Nong sitting over there, beckoning him over. "Not yet, but it looks like I'm going to" I said. Nong has had his penis enlarged by injecting a large quantity of Vaseline petroleum jelly under his dick skin. Where they got the very large hypodermic needle from is a mystery but I was later to witness briefly the injecting process while I was innocently brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Of course after the jelly is injected it settles at the knob end in a large bulbous mass. Nong's dick looked like a large pear hanging between his legs. Ugly

Funny, huh? We don't know each other personally, though the Samui Monkey House we know. LOL Thanks for sharing.

Cookie the woodcutter and his friend were released along with 60 or more after the King's Birthday 2011. Robil (Turkey) had 3 month off his sentence and is going home this year. The Nigerians were sent off to BKK. The hammocks were taken down. New prison regulations. They modified the cells. Half of the cell consists now of a second floor made of wood. It looks like a large story bed. I have no idea how to call that, but it takes away half of the cells space but makes more space available for sleeping, The short guys sleep upstairs. The foreigners cell is now the first one in the corridor.

I got caught 3 times smuggling ciggarettes up the cell. Only once I had to do stand ups. Jimmy as well. We had a hard time walking up the stairs though. First thing up in the cell we smoked a cigarette LOL.

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Also if OP is still around, how much compensation money was being asked to settle the accident outside of court ? I wonder if the time spent in jail was worth it in hindsight

350.000 Baht.

A western guy who killed a member of my Thai family in a hit & run paid the same amount. He was arrested at a police check point, 48 hours in police cell, released and handed back his passport. Why did you have to pay 350k?

You friend I persume was fast enough to pay and bow quickly. Good for him. I haven't had a chance to do that. If I could have, I would have, too.

After ones arrest the police would "normaly" hold you only for 24 hours. The next morning it's off to court. At court you will be put in a holding cell with prisoners coming from prison who have court day as well. Then you got 2-3 hours time to come up with bail, fine or both, just to get out on bail. If no ones there quick enough to bail you out you will go to prison. Once in prison it's a whole lot different story. Some people would come up with the bail money after 2 or 3 days and the court would just double it. My bail was first doubled, then trippled, and then I didn't bother anymore.

Criminal courts don't really care if you pay compensation. That would be at the Civil Court. I was at Criminal court for drunk driving crashing a vehicle. In Thai the case is called: "Mau la cap lot chonn" Even if I had the money to compensate, I would have still be on trial for drunk driving crashing a vehicle. Get it? Don't compare one case with a similar case in Thailand. The results are always different.

As AlHeyward mentioned above the sentencing is not very consistend.

Sounds like you really pissed off the RTP.

I can assure you the guy who killed by family member was no friend of mine. I advised the family to let the case proceed to Court together with a parallel Civil Claim. RTP said they would advise immigration to put a stop on his passport & let his embassy know so he couldn't get a replacement passport. Bail was set for the usual 200k baht in case of death caused by a vehicle driver. Unfortunately family did not trust the Court system and accepted the compensation that was negotiated by RTP case officer. The guy never went to court; as you know as soon as compensation is being negotiated the RTP do not write up a file for police prosecutor to review and present the charges for Court action - all off the official record - at least this is what happened in Pattaya, maybe different in Koh Samui

Edited by simple1
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@ simple 1 :

Maybe your family was right. It would have been much more difficult to extract money from him while he was in prison, you know? I can understand your anger, but with him in prison nobody would have benefited out of that situation. Look at my case. I haven't had to pay anything at the end, even I offered the Thai guy a new motorbike and 50.000 Baht cash. He insisted on 350.000 and got nothing in the end.

At one of my court days they brought a rich Thai guy in. He was from BKK having a (Lady) holiday on Samui. He too killed an old woman crossing the road or so. He paid 1 Million compensation for the family and 20.000 baht fine at court with his VISA CARD and was released without charges.

But you couldn't have had that westerner blacklisted anyway. Not for a traffic accident.

Was the westerner drunk?

Well, in the policestation the RTP asked me to pay 200k right there. I told him it would take a few days to come up with the money but he said that that was too late, so I went to court the next morning, and then all went down hill from there.

If that westerner you talk about would have went to court, the court would have prosecuted him for killing a person by accident. That's 5 to 10 years in monkey house. I didn't take that option. I can't remember my accident to this day. I couldn't have paid compensation anyway for the guy asked far to much for a broken pinky. I told the RTP in the policesation to send me to court. I think same in Pattaya than Samui. Depends on how much money you have, and how fast you can pay. Life is cheap in Thailand, you know. Sad, but true.

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@ simple 1 :

Maybe your family was right. It would have been much more difficult to extract money from him while he was in prison, you know? I can understand your anger, but with him in prison nobody would have benefited out of that situation. Look at my case. I haven't had to pay anything at the end, even I offered the Thai guy a new motorbike and 50.000 Baht cash. He insisted on 350.000 and got nothing in the end.

At one of my court days they brought a rich Thai guy in. He was from BKK having a (Lady) holiday on Samui. He too killed an old woman crossing the road or so. He paid 1 Million compensation for the family and 20.000 baht fine at court with his VISA CARD and was released without charges.

But you couldn't have had that westerner blacklisted anyway. Not for a traffic accident.

Was the westerner drunk?

Well, in the policestation the RTP asked me to pay 200k right there. I told him it would take a few days to come up with the money but he said that that was too late, so I went to court the next morning, and then all went down hill from there.

If that westerner you talk about would have went to court, the court would have prosecuted him for killing a person by accident. That's 5 to 10 years in monkey house. I didn't take that option. I can't remember my accident to this day. I couldn't have paid compensation anyway for the guy asked far to much for a broken pinky. I told the RTP in the policesation to send me to court. I think same in Pattaya than Samui. Depends on how much money you have, and how fast you can pay. Life is cheap in Thailand, you know. Sad, but true.

No he wasn't drunk, but witnesses said he was driving at high speed, followed another car through a red light, lost control and hit our man who was a pedestrian. I no longer have any anger, even though he was without remorse and did a runner after the accident. I realise he would have done time, but as you know many Thais prefer to be pragmatic & receive monetary compensation. For most Thais zero government support when the family bread winner dies or seriously injured.

BTW, good to see a courteous response from you

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@ simple 1 :

Maybe your family was right. It would have been much more difficult to extract money from him while he was in prison, you know? I can understand your anger, but with him in prison nobody would have benefited out of that situation. Look at my case. I haven't had to pay anything at the end, even I offered the Thai guy a new motorbike and 50.000 Baht cash. He insisted on 350.000 and got nothing in the end.

At one of my court days they brought a rich Thai guy in. He was from BKK having a (Lady) holiday on Samui. He too killed an old woman crossing the road or so. He paid 1 Million compensation for the family and 20.000 baht fine at court with his VISA CARD and was released without charges.

But you couldn't have had that westerner blacklisted anyway. Not for a traffic accident.

Was the westerner drunk?

Well, in the policestation the RTP asked me to pay 200k right there. I told him it would take a few days to come up with the money but he said that that was too late, so I went to court the next morning, and then all went down hill from there.

If that westerner you talk about would have went to court, the court would have prosecuted him for killing a person by accident. That's 5 to 10 years in monkey house. I didn't take that option. I can't remember my accident to this day. I couldn't have paid compensation anyway for the guy asked far to much for a broken pinky. I told the RTP in the policesation to send me to court. I think same in Pattaya than Samui. Depends on how much money you have, and how fast you can pay. Life is cheap in Thailand, you know. Sad, but true.

No he wasn't drunk, but witnesses said he was driving at high speed, followed another car through a red light, lost control and hit our man who was a pedestrian. I no longer have any anger, even though he was without remorse and did a runner after the accident. I realise he would have done time, but as you know many Thais prefer to be pragmatic & receive monetary compensation. For most Thais zero government support when the family bread winner dies or seriously injured.

BTW, good to see a courteous response from you

This thing happens in the west....how can you expect a country like this to do better.

Humans are just <deleted> in general.

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@ simple 1:

The guy did a runner????? <deleted>? So he drove into a pedestrian at high speed (I don't even want to picture that) and the RTP wasn't pissed?

OK. I think I can understand you now. My accident was a very light compared to what happened to your family member. Since my accident I'm more of a pedestrian then driving around on my bike. I just use it here in the Issan to get to a shop or so. I was out in Udon City last week, and I saw plenty of westerners getting on their bike in the early whee hours drunk, really drunk. I thought if I should walk back to the room or take a taxi. I walked, but stopped for a long time before I dared to cross a road, looking at each side of the road more than 3 times.

Minibus drivers as well are scaring the Sh-t out of me.

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You really went through a rough time for doing not much, also I find it crazy when you tell people end up in jail for a few grams of pot. Sometimes this country feels like the middle ages sick.gif

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I got out of Samui Jan 2011. The worst place for me was 9 days at Surat on the way to IDC. That place was filthy with just one small dish of watery rice per day and tap water to drink.

31 days I have been in that filth hole. they waited until there were enough Burmese, so it was worth the drive. Ranong was dirty as well, and weird. Been there 5 days.

Monkey house madness part 1 .......... Feb 2011

The Thai prison experience is not to be recommended. Although the Samui monkey house is quite new and small with about 300 guys and 200 girls it didn't take the savages long to make it dirty. So It's just a new, dirty, hot little remand prison. They transfer people away to other less salubrious institutions; Nakon sii Thammarat or Bangkok who get more than 10 years, which is supposed to get rid of the rif-raf, so the place is heaving with violent offenders and others with heavy sentences for hard drugs waiting to be transferred. There were about 30 lady boys sporting shaved heads, botox buttocks and big breasts Not much violence considering the mix of people. A few punch-ups here and there among the population. All in all it was plain boring for me. I read lots of books.

The food was absolute crap. About half of the inmates had regular visits and they'd get at least some edible food brought in every week but otherwise it was pork fat in a horrible curry or fish head soup or plain rice soup sometimes with a side order of peanuts! Wow. then we'd get chicken things in a curry.... sometimes bones and feet. But if you had money you could buy stale cookies and drinks from the prison shop and order overpriced Thai food from "outside" which was made by the wives of the guards and to be honest wasn't much improvement on the prison sludge.

The guards seemed to leave the Farangs alone probably because they couldn't communicate in English but they'd beat the crap out of the Thais if they did something wrong like fighting, stealing or trying to smuggle cigarettes in to the room. They were especially hard on the Burmese inmates. One of the guards the farangs had nick-named "Scary" would dish out novel punishments like having to roll in the dirt and sharp stones from one side of the yard to the other and back again ...for 5 or 6 hours! The guard would stand over them with a big stick in one hand and a bottle of water in the other to pour on them to make them nice and sticky. There were lots of variations on that punishment. Sometimes they would have to piggy back someone around the yard for hours or we saw one guy do 1000 squats. Thats with hands on hips and squatting then standing up and down 1000 times counting each squat out loud. He couldn't walk for 3 days afterwards. Another sadistic one was getting the prisoner to climb up the chain link fence a metre or so and then just hang on to the wire with fingers and toes for a couple of hours chanting "I will not lie to the boss guard" ouch! Other times they would just beat them. Make 'em lay on their stomachs and beat them on the back with a big piece of wood. .Lovely.

There were between 15-20 farang in there, mostly for drugs. Heavy sentences for "ice"- a Kiwi is doing 12 years for 4 grams, a Nigerian got the death penalty commuted to 50 years for 50gm, a Turkish guy got 3 years for 0.4gm, a Thai guy got 1 year for stealing a chicken!, and a Burmese was doing 18 months for cutting a tree down (under the orders of his Thai boss but the Burmese was the one holding the chainsaw).... 2 years for rape, 7 years for rape, 8 years for murdering a Thai, 1 year for murdering a Burmese! Lots of murderers on Samui. You would never know to look at them or talk to them.... one young Thai guy about 25 who had a very quiet personality and was polite and friendly was a hit-man and he had killed 7 people. But you'd never know just talking to him. Scary shit really. .... as you can see the sentencing is not very consistent.

They would let us out at 6.30 in the morning and back inside the rooms at 4pm. We had to line up and be counted 5 times per day. We we permited a TV and DVD player in the room which got well used but the guards would turn them off at 9pm ... but not the lights!!!. Lights on all night, sleep on the hard tiled floor with a couple of folded blankets for a matress. Most of the time it was very cramped sleeping arrangements; It was impossible to roll over to change your sleeping position, you would have to "shuffle" getting kicked in the face by someone next to you was the norm as was waking up with numb limbs... To make more space we would tie blankets together and string them up like hammocks to make room on the floor. It was tight with 18 people but sometimes we had 23 or 24. Dunno how we did id it. During the day we would just sit at our little table and read or play checkers or talk. I usually buried my head in a book. I must have read 200 books but can hardly remember any of 'em.

There was one thing the native population liked to do that I could never get my head around was the practise of mutilating ones penis - the purpose eludes me as I could see no point in such disfigurement even in the name of art, especially where the mutilations were performed without anaesthetic and in the most unhygienic of circumstances, the ensuing scarring of tissue that I would assume would lead to at least some damage to the fine nerve endings we have in our nether regions. There seemed to be several styles preferred requiring a variety of masochistic methods to complete the process.

On one of the first days of my stay one of the Thai captives said "hey, what are you in for and take a look at this...." and proceeded to show me something in his pants that I guess used to be his dick. It was now a festered lumpy thing with what looked like a dead flower hanging on the end. I said "<deleted> is that?" he said "I got 13" ... 13 what? ...."13 beads"- "Oh I see" I said. So without having to look too closely and with further explanation I was able to ascertain this idiot had inserted 13 glass beads under the skin of the shaft of his penis and in addition he had sliced the foreskin to make it look like a flower. The glass beads were supposed to be in a uniform pattern but obviously had moved and many were clustered together. Somewhat dazed I went to consult the long termer farangs who I was sure would be able to shed some light on this bizarre practise.

I had managed to receive a jar of Vegemite that was left in the fridge of the bungalow I used to live in that a Thai friend brought to me on a visit a few days before. The guard checking the items delivered by visitors had obviously been asleep or had been distracted by her smile and had not noticed the Vegemite was in a glass jar. Such things as tin cans and glass containers are forbidden as the savages might attempt suicide with broken glass or worse; fashion beads out of the broken pieces of glass and insert them under the skin of their dicks! One of the farangs said I could sell the empty Vegemite jar for 2 packs of cigarettes. I said "Wow" cos that sounded like a good deal for an empty glass jar. The guys explained to me the savages would then break the jar and spend hours grinding down the pieces of broken jar on a rough piece of concrete into smooth oval beads. Then they could slice their dicks open with the blade from a blunt disposable razor and insert the beads under the skin . I said "but WHY?" One of the more educated farangs said the practise has it's roots in ancient tribal customs and another said his mate in Germany had a bead surgically inserted on the top of his penis so his girlfriend might gain some extra stimulation. Ah ha! Indeed I had seen something like this on a porn movie once ... or twice. "But this guy had 13 beads, and had his foreskin sliced to make it look like a flower" I said. The farangs said "Yes we know and we don't know why, this is Thailand Al" I couldn't imagine Thai guys doing this to enhance their girlfriend's sexual pleasure. I started to think that maybe this was why Thai girls would tell farangs they didn't like Thai guys. What, with penises that looked like a durian with the sharp bits rounded off it's not a pretty sight. The farangs told me there is a guy sporting 24 beads and he believes it to be a Samui prison record. Someone asked me if I had seen the dick on Nong sitting over there, beckoning him over. "Not yet, but it looks like I'm going to" I said. Nong has had his penis enlarged by injecting a large quantity of Vaseline petroleum jelly under his dick skin. Where they got the very large hypodermic needle from is a mystery but I was later to witness briefly the injecting process while I was innocently brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Of course after the jelly is injected it settles at the knob end in a large bulbous mass. Nong's dick looked like a large pear hanging between his legs. Ugly

A lot of this sounds similar to Thonburi, especially the punishments.

The penis modifications... lol, sai mouk (beads), phaa khwoy (cut into sections - like a bloody squid!), or chiit yaa (injecting to enlarge). Looked pretty bad. At least with the beads they can be removed, but the other two are permanent.

How large were your cells? Our were 10m x 5m. Fewest we had in there during my time was mid 30s. Most was 52. About 45 was the norm. I drew a diagram in my diary and scanned it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/angelfish7981/randomtemporary/phiisetthoncell.jpg

Two westerners came during my time there. One for 2 days and one for a week. During the rest of my 14 and a half months there I was the only person from outside Asia.

Edited by fauxie
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Interesting read. I just got out of 'Phiset Thonburi' in December, having served 14 months of a 16 and a half month sentence. I was supposed to be picked up by police upon release and taken to IDC for deportation based on my offense, but come release day no-one was there. My elation was indescribable. I went home and spent 6 days with my wife. After speaking with my Embassy we decided the best course of action was to turn myself in to IDC and get deported for visa overstay (expired while I was inside), allowing me to avoid being blacklisted.

I can speak Thai well, almost fluently. It helped a LOT. There were only a handful of English-speaking prisoners out of thousands in my building. While I was there an Irishman was there briefly for 2 days (stole a jackhammer while drunk) and an Englishman for about 10 days (marijuana possession). Otherwise I was the only white westerner there during my time. I hate that I put my families (my wife was sentenced too) through such stress and worry, but it was an interesting experience that I coped well with all in all and found a lot of positives in. I'm thinking about writing about my experience further, but I'm undecided about whether I'd rather just move on or not.

p.s. here's a story. A ladyboy spent a whole week at Thonburi women's prison before turning himself/herself in and being sent to the men's prison. Amazing!

Looks like the wife ( Thai i pressume ) got out of jail before you, if that's the case and it was for the same offence how does that work? Women get shorter sentences?

Sentenced the same, received amnesty the same (just over 2 months), but she benefited from the 'wan lot' and got out 12 days before me. Foreigners can't receive a reduction that way, nor by 'phak thawt'.

Two questions :

What do the terms "wan lot" and "phak thawt" mean? Reduction of sentence for good behaviour or something similar?

Also Fauxie do you mind sharing the reason for your and your wife's original incarceration? Later in the thread you refer to informants etc which sounds worthy of an explanation, as it might make interesting reading - unless of course you'd rather not.

Sent from my iPad-mini.

I just happen to be online, so I can answer one of your questions now.

"wan lot" refers to the two days of the year when amnesty is granted to prisoners. One is on the King's Birthday, one is on the Queens Birthday. Amnesty means getting a reduction of your sentence. That could be days, weeks, or month, but almost never years of your sentence. Drug cases always get none or a very small amnesty, but that must not always be the case. It depends on good behaviour, and snitching of course. These two days are the days of excitment in prison.

"phak thot" means forgiveness. In prison it refers to the King's Pardon. "phak thot" given to a prisoner means imidiate release. Well, with that being said that could be anytime within 12 month in Thailand.

As to your second question I'm eager to know why he got nicked as well. But since a snitch was involved who set him and his girl up, I don't think he's very keen on telling. We'll see

After reading your story and loving it I think you should listen to this song,

don't know if you like Hip Hop but its one of the best rhymes about waiting for your Release Date there is(its also the name)

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@ fauxie

See the link below. It was the day I was sent to court the last time for sentencing, but was released instead.

They came early at around close to 6 a.m.First all prisoners where searched infront of their cells. Then all rounded up in the yard. No one allowed to eat or drink The entire prison was searched by about 50, maybe more police. I didn't count them, but there were plenty. They searched for ya bah, ICE, and one cell phone, that had found its way into the prison. Everyone had to give an urine sample. Just after peeing into a cup, one of the guards called came over to me, pretty angry, and asked me why I wasn't preparing for court. (That would have been putting on leg irons and court shirt and shorts, no shoes). I had no idea that I was due at court. The good thing was that because of all that fuzz searching for drugs they forgot to search me for ciggarettes on the way to court. I never managed to get that many cigarettes into court. Muahaha, In the court cell a mobile phone appeared out of nowhere. The phone was with us at court while the police searched for it everywhere inside of prison. haha, the Thais laughed their asses off. On top of that I was released later on that afternoon.

That was on the 7th of Feb., 2012

http://thesamuigazette.com/edition41/index.html

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@ fauxie

See the link below. It was the day I was sent to court the last time for sentencing, but was released instead.

They came early at around close to 6 a.m.First all prisoners where searched infront of their cells. Then all rounded up in the yard. No one allowed to eat or drink The entire prison was searched by about 50, maybe more police. I didn't count them, but there were plenty. They searched for ya bah, ICE, and one cell phone, that had found its way into the prison. Everyone had to give an urine sample. Just after peeing into a cup, one of the guards called came over to me, pretty angry, and asked me why I wasn't preparing for court. (That would have been putting on leg irons and court shirt and shorts, no shoes). I had no idea that I was due at court. The good thing was that because of all that fuzz searching for drugs they forgot to search me for ciggarettes on the way to court. I never managed to get that many cigarettes into court. Muahaha, In the court cell a mobile phone appeared out of nowhere. The phone was with us at court while the police searched for it everywhere inside of prison. haha, the Thais laughed their asses off. On top of that I was released later on that afternoon.

That was on the 7th of Feb., 2012

http://thesamuigazette.com/edition41/index.html

Haha! Amazing. We had a similar surprise raid one morning, also around 6am. It was a nightmare as I was dying to go to toilet!

The cells you were in look the same as ours at Thonburi, at least as far as what I can see in the pic.

We had loads of ppl get busted for having yaa baa, ice, phones, mp3/mp4 players, radios and all kinds of stuff inside.

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Nice sketch. Guessing it wouldn't be much fun for a guy of 6'6" and those who had to sleep next to him.

No, indeed it wouldn't. I'm 6'4" and I could very rarely sleep with my legs stretched out fully, just maybe one day out of every 2 or 3 weeks when numbers were unusually low.

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  • 3 weeks later...

What!.....That's it?.....It feels almost like I've been watching the Truman show or something! Sad you wanna end it now.

Man, I wish you all the best for you and your family, with whatever you do...all the best mate!

Ever considered writing a book? You should.

Edited by krisb
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What!.....That's it?.....It feels almost like I've been watching the Truman show or something! Sad you wanna end it now.

Man, I wish you all the best for you and your family, with whatever you do...all the best mate!

Ever considered writing a book? You should.

Well, do you remember the ending of the Truman Show?

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Thanks Stardust for sharing your story! We talked about this via private message and I can tell you that your story is being published on my website in Dutch at the moment. People are stunned by the quality and the story itself! Thanks!

Best of luck for you, your wife and kid. I'm sure you will be alright. Please update us once in a while about how you are getting along!

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Thanks Stardust for sharing your story! We talked about this via private message and I can tell you that your story is being published on my website in Dutch at the moment. People are stunned by the quality and the story itself! Thanks!

Best of luck for you, your wife and kid. I'm sure you will be alright. Please update us once in a while about how you are getting along!

Yeah, I've seen your publishings on your webpage. I can read actually most of it. Dutch is like a mix of German and English to me. I saw you translated word for word. Thanks, and you are welcome.

Be in touch.

In Austria I'll have more time to write, so there will be more. In German, and English.

Star Dust

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Obviously you have already considered moving to Bangkok? And changing your visa? You are letting yourself become a victim after resisting exactly that for such a long time. It's clear you don't want to live apart from your family. You are seeing no options but I promise there are many. By all means take a holiday back home and really think about it.

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