Smacking Toddlers In A Bangkok School: What Would You Do?

[Pistol Shrimp]

I thought I was lucky. There are plenty of schools in the Ladprao area where I live, but this one was special.

Just three minutes away by car off Chokchai 4 Road, it seemed perfect for my active two-year-old. The staff were welcoming, the grounds extensive, including many trees and a grassy playground. Security was good. The food was tasty. The classes in nursery and kindergarten were small, the rooms clean, well-lit and well-equippped.

Only six years old, it wasn't cheap, but who's going to quibble at 9,000 baht a month, or 56,000 a semester in return for peace of mind? And our daughter took to it quickly, happily, without tears.

Until I went to the school earlier than usual one day and, coming round a corner, saw a classroom assistant, her face contorted in fury, smack a small boy.

I raised hell. I said violence was illegal in schools. I said smacking toddlers was unacceptable.

'It happens sometimes,' said the daughter of the owner. 'It happens a little, just a little.'

The owner himself gave me a little speech on how his heart was in this project, how he'd made his pile importing medical instruments and didn't need to make any more dosh. How it was all about love, and about a partnertship with parents. For my part, I pointed out that while it can take years to build up a reputation, it can take all of a few minutes to destroy it.

Then a friend of my Thai wife went along to the school one afternoon. She watched through a window as her two-year-old tried to carry out a task on her own, without help or explanation. In exasperation, the child flung whatever it was on the floor and cried. Two classroom assistants were furious at having had their cosy chat interrupted. They screamed at the little girl. One rose to her feet, strode across to the child, and smacked her.

At least three parents I know have have withdrawn their children. So have I. What would you do in my shoes? Would you, as most Thai parents seem to do, carry on as if nothing has happened. After all,they seem to reason, if it wasn't their child, why should they care?

Would you inform the police? Write to the Education Ministry? Or complain loudly and repeatedly and then take your child out?

The 'assistants' who did the smacking weren't fired. They were warned and moved to different classes.

[GooEng]

Shame, but it seems you can't rely on the school to do anything meaningful, in your shoes I'd remove the child.

Sent from my iPad-mini.

[Pormax]

Corporal punishment as we used top call it is a regular thing in Thai schools and not just the little ones.

My 15 year old neice with a couple of other classmates were called out in front of the class, made to bend over and was hit on the backside 6 times with a stick. All because they returned after a school holiday and forget their sports clothes. I was astonished that the parents did not go to the school and complain.

But as you mentioned Thais tend to turn the other cheek.

Good for you and your wife standing up to these bullies.

[Almera]

This is Thailand.

There are international schools where this won't happen.

If you can't afford them you'll need to move back home to give your child an education and proper life.

[ragamuffin]

Report them and complain. Don't fall into TIT mode, wrong remains wrong. Take your child off and find another school that values kids and educates them properly. Yes, this is possible, even in Thailand.

[ShopBoy]

It's a Thai culture thing.

Move your kid to a more expensive place and you wont see this.

Issues like this will be handle by counselor where no spanking involve as they have more funds to engage professional help.

[varun]

I believe there are International Schools that are on the lower end of the price scale, where corporal punishment would not take place.

Here's a comprehensive list: www.isat.or.th/

[Almera]

It's a Thai culture thing.

Move your kid to a more expensive place and you wont see this.

Yes, ones where Thai teachers aren't employed.

[Will2011]

It is outrageous. It is also as despicable as those parents who treat their toddlers as adults and don't teach them discipline, in my opinion.

[gmac]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

[candypants]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

not sure about that, 6 years and counting and i have not yet discovered a need to hit my child.

I find mental abuse can be far more effective.

[arthurboy]

Corporal punishment/ hitting children in schools/kindergartens is illegal in Thailand. Yes, I know it happens.

Withdraw your child before she too is hit.

[ragamuffin]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

Seems to me you need an update on education. Disgusting.

[NanLaew]

Why is the OP posting this? He (or his wife) and other worried parents have already removed their kids from the school in question.

Is the new school a bit further away, less convenient or a bit more expensive maybe?

[mooro_uk]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

Seems to me you need an update on education. Disgusting.

Corporal punishment appropriate for the misbehaviour in school is exactly what is needed in my opinion. It didn't do any long term harm to me when I was at school and taught me discipline and to respect my teachers!

No doubt the PC brigade will have a field day now....

[ragamuffin]

Seems to me that smacking toddlers is just what they need if they misbehave. You only have to look at the youngsters hanging about on street corners in western countries where corporal punishment has been outlawed to appreciate the need for effective discipline.

Seems to me you need an update on education. Disgusting.

Corporal punishment appropriate for the misbehaviour in school is exactly what is needed in my opinion. It didn't do any long term harm to me when I was at school and taught me discipline and to respect my teachers!

No doubt the PC brigade will have a field day now....

No, it obviously taught you fear and made you believe physical violence is legitimate to educate children. Which it isn't, as a matter of fact in law and all results psychology and education studies have ever come up with.

Smacking toddlers because they don't do the way you want them to, how much lower can you get?

Edited March 22, 2013 by ragamuffin

[candypants]

i just think it is a bad habit to get into, as discipline is often administered when tempers run hot. Some things just cant be taken back.

As for PC, me not at all. I just cannot see either the necessity or the benefits to be derived from whacking someonee who may not even comprehend what they have done.

now teenagers are a different story, i regularly beat them to a bloody pulp, and they are not even mine.

[dave111223]

I think we are probably sending our kids to the same nursery (John?).

Our eldest is 2 1/2 and although he is a great kid, he is stubborn as a mule and does enjoy raising some hell; doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word "No" ("no" translates into I'm gonna do it to prove a point). He has been this way since 6 months old.

In comparison to our younger daughter is 1 1/2 and almost never does random naughty stuff, and when she does, simply saying "Don't do that" is enough to make her stop.

I think the teachers at the school do genuinely care about our son, but the kids do occasionally get some discipline (timeouts, told off, hand smacks). But he's never come home "hurt" (ie upset, bruised or crying etc...he's one of the happiest boys you'll meet). And to be fair it's nothing compared to some of the butt hidings i've had to give him (such as when he decides to take a bite out of little sisters arm).

We previously visited a montessori style school, where they let the kids do as they please, within about 5 minutes he decided it might be fun to try juggling with a china mini tea set, then go outside and play bouncing rocks off the patio windows. I don't think he would have lasted a week before they'd be begging for mercy.

It guess it's just up to:

1) The personality of the child (if they smacked my youngest I might be more put out, as I know she can be reasoned with verbally instead)

2) The disciplines you personally think are appropriate.

In my opinion some kids (such as our son) need a more "traditional" school environment, others (such as our daughter) would do fine in a more relaxed structure.

P.S. Apparently the fees have now gone up to 12K per month, but existing students still get the 9K price.

P.P.S. To other posters, unless you've had a little darling who does naughty stuff 24/7, I don't think you should pass judgement on appropriate way to discipline them.

Edited March 22, 2013 by dave111223

[lor]

Happened to my son at his International School in Pattaya. Complained to the head teacher who just laughed it off. Then I told him if the teacher was not sacked I was bringing the police and making a complaint of assault.

This did the trick as the children were told the teacher was going on holiday for a couple of months. He never came back.

Chris

[cooked]

Why not tell tales of how parents in England have been known to storm into the classroom and give the teacher some of his own medicine? That might give them something to think about if he thinks it's funny.

A little kid opened and emptied out a bottle of whisky in front of a few Thais this morning, (yes we started early today) we were too far away to catch him. We just laughed, when I simulated putting him into a water jar upside down, no problem but he understood.

I hit my kids maybe 2 - 3 times each during their childhood and they turned out ok.

[ragamuffin]

I think we are probably sending our kids to the same nursery (John?).

Our eldest is 2 1/2 and although he is a great kid, he is stubborn as a mule and does enjoy raising some hell; doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word "No" ("no" translates into I'm gonna do it to prove a point). He has been this way since 6 months old.

In comparison to our younger daughter is 1 1/2 and almost never does random naughty stuff, and when she does, simply saying "Don't do that" is enough to make her stop.

I think the teachers at the school do genuinely care about our son, but the kids do occasionally get some discipline (timeouts, told off, hand smacks). But he's never come home "hurt" (ie upset, bruised or crying etc...he's one of the happiest boys you'll meet). And to be fair it's nothing compared to some of the butt hidings i've had to give him (such as when he decides to take a bite out of little sisters arm).

We previously visited a montessori style school, where they let the kids do as they please, within about 5 minutes he decided it might be fun to try juggling with a china mini tea set, then go outside and play bouncing rocks off the patio windows. I don't think he would have lasted a week before they'd be begging for mercy.

It guess it's just up to:

1) The personality of the child (if they smacked my youngest I might be more put out, as I know she can be reasoned with verbally instead)

2) The disciplines you personally think are appropriate.

In my opinion some kids (such as our son) need a more "traditional" school environment, others (such as our daughter) would do fine in a more relaxed structure.

P.S. Apparently the fees have now gone up to 12K per month, but existing students still get the 9K price.

P.P.S. To other posters, unless you've had a little darling who does naughty stuff 24/7, I don't think you should pass judgement on appropriate way to discipline them.

And I don't think you should confuse being a parent with being knowledgeable in the field of appropriately educating or disciplining a child.

[dave111223]

And I don't think you should confuse being a parent with being knowledgeable in the field of appropriately educating or disciplining a child.

Is that you're way of saying you don't have young kids, but you think you know best about how to raise/handle them?

Speaking of which time to go and pick them up...enjoy your armchair

[lomatopo]

Or complain loudly and repeatedly and then take your child out?

You seem to have this bass-ackwards. You feel strongly about this issue, and it does not appear as though it will change so you would presumably have already removed your daughter from this "educational facility".

I think more schools should have video monitoring in the classroom and provide access to parents and administrators via the internet - with the obvious security precautions - which would both improve classroom bahavior and force teachers to perform the duties parents expect and in some cases, pay for.

Edited March 22, 2013 by lomatopo

[ragamuffin]

And I don't think you should confuse being a parent with being knowledgeable in the field of appropriately educating or disciplining a child.

Is that you're way of saying you don't have young kids, but you think you know best about how to raise/handle them?

Speaking of which time to go and pick them up...enjoy your armchair

That's my way of saying I know far more about the theoretical background of corporal punishment and education than most parents do. Otherwise they wouldn't support it.

[MrHammer]

It's hilarious how people who have children suddenly think they are experts on raising children. If that was the case, then there wouldn't be as many criminals and morons would there?

Having children does not make you suddenly wise, smart or kind-hearted.

That is all.

Corporate punishment is effective but fundamentally not acceptable. Detention or exclusion imo. are better options.

[marstons]

got to be the toughest jobs in the world teaching half/half kids here. They are a real pain the ass in restaurant with dads to old to care and mums who don't care what the kids do.

there has to be a reason a teacher administers the punishment, there has to be some deterrent the teachers can use. Hardly cat of nine tails stuff. The caning of the child recently in a school in nern plab wan got more likes on the Thai vid link than dislikes. Many of our home counties its banned so there's always that solution if little precious slips out the cotton wool world.

Edited March 22, 2013 by marstons

[DocN]

When you start hitting children, you admit that you failed in educating them in other ways.

Take 'em out!

[Almera]

got to be the toughest jobs in the world teaching half/half kids here. They are a real pain the ass in restaurant with dads to old to care and mums who don't care what the kids do.

I'm 33 and about to be a parent, my friends with kids here are in their 20s and 30s.

Times must be a changing if that's too old to care.

[DiamondKing]

I don't hit my kids and they are fully instructed that NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY lays a hand on them and should anyone hit them they will have me on them, faster than a fly on shit.

My kids are very well behaved and have NEVER BEEN BEAT so if you think you need to beat kids to make them behave maybe you need to take parenting classes to show you where you are going wrong.

As for teachers or strangers putting hand on my kids I would flip if I dont put my hands on my kids you can be damn well sure nobody else has a right too

DK

Edited March 24, 2013 by DiamondKing

[Will2011]

I don't hit my kids and they are fully instructed that NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY lays a hand on them and should anyone hit them they will have me on them, faster than a fly on shit.

My kids are very well behaved and have NEVER BEEN BEAT so if you think you need to beat kids to make them behave maybe you need to take parenting classes to show you where you are going wrong.

As for teachers or strangers putting hand on my kids I would flip if I dont put my hands on my kids you can be damn well sure nobody else has a right too

DK

Some people do too much talking but in fact they don't say anything.