Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya

[lemoncake]

Not sure if its being said, but what i do not understand is she is now getting on, why not get a real job?!

There are hundreds of jobs on offer, sure start on minimum wage, but after a few years in the same place she would be on higher salary.

NO doubt her English is good, so there really should not be a problem.

I also do not understand all those saying "its ok"

How can anyone be ok or have feelings for someone when they aware she is sucking on someone else's body parts daily.

You're describing your own thinking, your mentality. You want to "own" someone. That's fine.

Exactly how I used to feel, two kids later and 30 odd years ago...not anymore. Very happy with what I have thanks

Of course i am describing my own mentality, clearly i can not describe yours.

Own someone? well if you happy knowing she has had a few penises in her mouth and she is kissing you now, all the best to you.

But as i said, if i was to date a bg, she would not be working bar, as i am not prepared to kiss or touch someone after she was touched by someone else just hours if not minutes ago

Are you for real? Have you ever taken a bg out for short/long time? Where do you think her mouth has been? And after a guy falls in "love" and marries one does he forget where her wondering mouth has been?

You really do not see the difference between taking one for the night and living with one?

[lemoncake]

well if you happy knowing she has had a few penises in her mouth and she is kissing you now, all the best to you.

To be fair, I can't think of many women of ANY nationality who haven't had a few...unless you're one of the 90% here who've wed a Hi-So Thai-Chinese virgin with an Medical Degree whose father owns half of Bangkok....

It's when I kiss the wife's bum I get really freaked out....

Have they had a few 15 mins before coming home daily??

[willyumcr]

"You really do not see the difference between taking one for the night and living with one?"

No

[Headgame]

Let me be clear, I do not care about your lifestyle choices - to each his own. But contradictions always gets me stirred up.

I understand you're living for the moment - me too, but for a teacher, you're truly not respecting the prostitute you love.

At 33, her day will come soon enough when her earning power will decline and eventually disappear. That's a guarantee.

Surely, if you are so loving AND respectful AND a teacher, you would begin today to improve her prospects, perhaps by teaching her to be proficient in English, encourage her to learn a trade or skill that can generate future income or whatever else you can do to show that you truly do love her.

Show her you actually do care about her future whether it's together or not. If she doesn't respond, oh, well.

You want me to be the Pope or what?

I love her, take care of her, she looks after me too when I'm skint. We have a good time together and I don't judge her.

She's happy, I'm happy. Let's leave it at that.

Not sure why you got the Pope involved but my point is you profess to

love her and take care of her. I think your standards on the "take care"

front are quite low for someone who professes such love. But hey,

you're all about the moment. However at 50 you should realize by now

just how fleeting the moment really is.

[poanoi]

I'm with lemoncake here, the thought of licking sperm is repulsive

[raro]

Can we be a little less graphic please? Thanks.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[lemoncake]

"You really do not see the difference between taking one for the night and living with one?"

No

Sad

[willyumcr]

"You really do not see the difference between taking one for the night and living with one?"

No

Sad

Realistic. You rent a girl for short time, long time, long long time (shack up, marry). However you want to call it, you are just renting. How much do you send her parents, kids etc for the privilege of living with her? Rent. You might even think of it as "love". Try stopping her salary and see what happens.

[raro]

"You really do not see the difference between taking one for the night and living with one?"

No

Sad

Realistic. You rent a girl for short time, long time, long long time (shack up, marry). However you want to call it, you are just renting. How much do you send her parents, kids etc for the privilege of living with her? Rent. You might even think of it as "love". Try stopping her salary and see what happens.

You are generalizing. I do personally know such relationships and she is earning her own money. Not in a bar but in what you would call a "real" job.

[willyumcr]

"You really do not see the difference between taking one for the night and living with one?"

No

Sad

Realistic. You rent a girl for short time, long time, long long time (shack up, marry). However you want to call it, you are just renting. How much do you send her parents, kids etc for the privilege of living with her? Rent. You might even think of it as "love". Try stopping her salary and see what happens.

You are generalizing. I do personally know such relationships and she is earning her own money. Not in a bar but in what you would call a "real" job.

You are correct, I am generalizing. I also know girls in relationships with a "real" job. However I consider working in a bar as a "real" job also. I do not feel a girl working in a bar to support her family is a "low" life job. Maybe their only option.

[fakename]

Doesnt anyone else in these families do any work? I think that once the farang money starts flowing in, most of the work stops. When push comes to shove, everyone knows who will be paying, so why does the family need to work so hard, when they know the farang will come through, with any emergency that may come alone.

As far as living with a working girl, no, not for me. Usually with my partners, we like to discuss the days work, but in this case, there wouldnt be much to discuss. Now if someone likes these kind of stories, then it would be an interesting match. "Oh honey, it was so big today!"

[willyumcr]

I would just like to give my opinion on
the original posters comment. The situation he is in is no different
than many relationships in our western culture. It is very common to
live with a roommate and share expenses and bed and even to fall in
love but have no commitment as to marry or have kids. When the
relationship is no longer beneficial to either party, you just go
your separate ways and hopefully remain friends. This is very
uncommon in Thai culture so I think the OP is in a very good
relationship. Seems to me the people who are against this is because
of their puritan beliefs that her profession is not up to their
standards. I guess if she worked in a bank then this would be OK. I
personally think this is a good relationship. If it lasts a month,
year or lifetime more power to them. I see a lot of these hippocrits at the Jade, Kinnery, Winchester, etc. escaping from their "true loves".

[harryfrompattaya]

At least OP knows he is living with a BG I will say at least 70% do not know. However all their friends know but are afraid to tell them the truth about the wife or GFI was one of those I have been married to misses for 35 years and just found out 3 years agoI always thought mine was different but we are still together

Well Harry this is quite an amazing post,maybe you could start a new thread,telling folks in what circumstances you met her,through To how you found out the truth after 32 yrs.

Glad to see you are still together,if only for the sake of your off springs.

You ask I tell I met her in Church in America She told me was a teacher. My mother and sisters bothers and even cousin Le Roy love her and wanted me to marry her

I found out 3 years ago when she put name on her investments I was shock how much she was worth.

Since I was no Angel it was no problem for me

[xylophone]

Quote: "Nevertheless there is a kudos amongst their peers and if as everyone says its all about money then this girl is maximising her income and cutting down on her overheads - how do you think their friends see that"?

That she's found the perfect idiot buffalo until a better offer comes along?

[lemoncake]

I would just like to give my opinion on

the original posters comment. The situation he is in is no different

than many relationships in our western culture. It is very common to

live with a roommate and share expenses and bed and even to fall in

love but have no commitment as to marry or have kids. When the

relationship is no longer beneficial to either party, you just go

your separate ways and hopefully remain friends. This is very

uncommon in Thai culture so I think the OP is in a very good

relationship. Seems to me the people who are against this is because

of their puritan beliefs that her profession is not up to their

standards. I guess if she worked in a bank then this would be OK. I

personally think this is a good relationship. If it lasts a month,

year or lifetime more power to them. I see a lot of these hippocrits at the Jade, Kinnery, Winchester, etc. escaping from their "true loves".

If she worked in the bank, there would be no thread or an issue,

However she does not, she sells her body and after goes home to OP.

It is nothing like western culture or relationship, unless one is a pimp

[FDog]

I would just like to give my opinion on

the original posters comment. The situation he is in is no different

than many relationships in our western culture. It is very common to

live with a roommate and share expenses and bed and even to fall in

love but have no commitment as to marry or have kids. When the

relationship is no longer beneficial to either party, you just go

your separate ways and hopefully remain friends. This is very

uncommon in Thai culture so I think the OP is in a very good

relationship. Seems to me the people who are against this is because

of their puritan beliefs that her profession is not up to their

standards. I guess if she worked in a bank then this would be OK. I

personally think this is a good relationship. If it lasts a month,

year or lifetime more power to them. I see a lot of these hippocrits at the Jade, Kinnery, Winchester, etc. escaping from their "true loves".

If she worked in the bank, there would be no thread or an issue,

However she does not, she sells her body and after goes home to OP.

It is nothing like western culture or relationship, unless one is a pimp

Could you please explain to me what the 'issue' is?

There is NO issue unless you make it one. The OP is happy, you would not be happy so you don't do it. So there is an issue for you if you did the same.

But there is no issue for the OP. All he is asking is if anyone else is in the same boat. If he is happy with what he has then who are we to say he cannot be.

[willyumcr]

Lemon cup, Started to answer you, but didn't as I figured you wouldn't get it. See you at Jade.

[xylophone]

This has certainly produced a lot of posts, different viewpoints and some pretty straight talking from many parties, with some showing much frustration at the attitude of the OP.

So here is something to consider. The whole thing is a "windup" from start to finish because either: –

1). The OP is a troll, OR

2). He is one of those people who really doesn't care what you think.

You will have come across his type a few times, very little in the way of drive or a sense of achievement, satisfied with 35,000 baht per month doing a job which is not taxing in any way, shape or form and content to live partly off his girlfriend who earns her living as a hooker, and who is sharing her body and sexual favours with hundreds if not thousands of others.

He has said that she helps out when he is "skint" so I doubt whether he has money stashed away in a bank account somewhere otherwise he would not allow himself to be "skint".

So there you have it, a man of low moral standards, with a lack of ambition, prepared to cruise through part of his life living off the proceeds of a hooker and of course getting a "quick bang" (his words) along the way – – fits nicely into the category of "part of life's flotsam and jetsam".

That’s the type of person he is, just accept it, and as he has no problems with his situation, it really isn't worth spending time debating it.

Edited April 15, 2013 by xylophone

[FDog]

This has certainly produced a lot of posts, different viewpoints and some pretty straight talking from many parties, with some showing much frustration at the attitude of the OP.

So here is something to consider. The whole thing is a "windup" from start to finish because either: –

1). The OP is a troll, OR

2). He is one of those people who really doesn't care what you think.

You will have come across his type a few times, very little in the way of drive or a sense of achievement, satisfied with 35,000 baht per month doing a job which is not taxing in any way, shape or form and content to live partly off his girlfriend who earns her living as a hooker, and who is sharing her body and sexual favours with hundreds if not thousands of others.

He has said that she helps out when he is "skint" so I doubt whether he has money stashed away in a bank account somewhere otherwise he would not allow himself to be "skint".

So there you have it, a man of low moral standards, with a lack of ambition, prepared to cruise through part of his life living off the proceeds of a hooker and of course getting a "quick bang" (his words) along the way – – fits nicely into the category of "part of life's flotsam and jetsam".

That’s the type of person he is, just accept it, and as he has no problems with his situation, it really isn't worth spending time debating it.

Would you rather he be unhappy by living to your code of living?

He is happy, he isn't asking for your tick of approval.

Don't forget she is living off him as well. They both get what they want. Why are others so concerned about how he lives his life.

If he is happy then good for him. I'll just concentrate on my own happiness, whether others think that is good enough for them is not my concern.

[lemoncake]

Lemon cup, Started to answer you, but didn't as I figured you wouldn't get it. See you at Jade.

What is jade?

[lemoncake]

I would just like to give my opinion on

the original posters comment. The situation he is in is no different

than many relationships in our western culture. It is very common to

live with a roommate and share expenses and bed and even to fall in

love but have no commitment as to marry or have kids. When the

relationship is no longer beneficial to either party, you just go

your separate ways and hopefully remain friends. This is very

uncommon in Thai culture so I think the OP is in a very good

relationship. Seems to me the people who are against this is because

of their puritan beliefs that her profession is not up to their

standards. I guess if she worked in a bank then this would be OK. I

personally think this is a good relationship. If it lasts a month,

year or lifetime more power to them. I see a lot of these hippocrits at the Jade, Kinnery, Winchester, etc. escaping from their "true loves".

If she worked in the bank, there would be no thread or an issue,

However she does not, she sells her body and after goes home to OP.

It is nothing like western culture or relationship, unless one is a pimp

Could you please explain to me what the 'issue' is?

There is NO issue unless you make it one. The OP is happy, you would not be happy so you don't do it. So there is an issue for you if you did the same.

But there is no issue for the OP. All he is asking is if anyone else is in the same boat. If he is happy with what he has then who are we to say he cannot be.

Since there is no issue and he is happy, why hide the truth from the family and friends???

If he is happy with living with a working prostitute, why not share the happiness with people back home?

Seems so many come to Thailand and all over sudden see things differently to the rest of the world , though I would like to know in what country or century prostitution was and is a respectable job

[poanoi]

The bar

[FDog]

I would just like to give my opinion on

the original posters comment. The situation he is in is no different

than many relationships in our western culture. It is very common to

live with a roommate and share expenses and bed and even to fall in

love but have no commitment as to marry or have kids. When the

relationship is no longer beneficial to either party, you just go

your separate ways and hopefully remain friends. This is very

uncommon in Thai culture so I think the OP is in a very good

relationship. Seems to me the people who are against this is because

of their puritan beliefs that her profession is not up to their

standards. I guess if she worked in a bank then this would be OK. I

personally think this is a good relationship. If it lasts a month,

year or lifetime more power to them. I see a lot of these hippocrits at the Jade, Kinnery, Winchester, etc. escaping from their "true loves".

If she worked in the bank, there would be no thread or an issue,

However she does not, she sells her body and after goes home to OP.

It is nothing like western culture or relationship, unless one is a pimp

Could you please explain to me what the 'issue' is?

There is NO issue unless you make it one. The OP is happy, you would not be happy so you don't do it. So there is an issue for you if you did the same.

But there is no issue for the OP. All he is asking is if anyone else is in the same boat. If he is happy with what he has then who are we to say he cannot be.

Since there is no issue and he is happy, why hide the truth from the family and friends???

If he is happy with living with a working prostitute, why not share the happiness with people back home?

Seems so many come to Thailand and all over sudden see things differently to the rest of the world , though I would like to know in what country or century prostitution was and is a respectable job

Because his family and friends etc may be biggoted and closed minded, unlike the OP.

[detinu68]

This has certainly produced a lot of posts, different viewpoints and some pretty straight talking from many parties, with some showing much frustration at the attitude of the OP.

So here is something to consider. The whole thing is a "windup" from start to finish because either: –

1). The OP is a troll, OR

2). He is one of those people who really doesn't care what you think.

You will have come across his type a few times, very little in the way of drive or a sense of achievement, satisfied with 35,000 baht per month doing a job which is not taxing in any way, shape or form and content to live partly off his girlfriend who earns her living as a hooker, and who is sharing her body and sexual favours with hundreds if not thousands of others.

He has said that she helps out when he is "skint" so I doubt whether he has money stashed away in a bank account somewhere otherwise he would not allow himself to be "skint".

So there you have it, a man of low moral standards, with a lack of ambition, prepared to cruise through part of his life living off the proceeds of a hooker and of course getting a "quick bang" (his words) along the way – – fits nicely into the category of "part of life's flotsam and jetsam".

That’s the type of person he is, just accept it, and as he has no problems with his situation, it really isn't worth spending time debating it.

I'm definitely not a troll and it's not a wind-up. You're entitled to your opinion about me.

I spent almost 30 years working in the IT industry earning good money. I own a house in England, which my daughter lives in with her husband and two children; she'll inherit it one day so she may as well make use of it and keep it well maintained - and of course I have a ready made home to stay in when I go back to visit.

I'm happy to be working as a low-paid teacher in Pattaya. There are precious few other jobs open to foreigners in Thailand.

Just hanging on for my pensions to start paying out in less than 15 years...hopefully I'll survive that long.

Edited April 15, 2013 by detinu68

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Just hanging on for my pensions to start paying out in less than 15 years...hopefully I'll survive that long.

Hopefully your pensions will hold out that long, and still be worth something when you can finally collect them.

[lemoncake]

Because his family and friends etc may be biggoted and closed minded, unlike the OP.

Ok, so once again please name country and century when prostitution was reputable or respectable job, better yet name a country where living with a working prostitute is admired or respected.?????

You may find that even in Thailand, its also frowned upon.

But just not to be a bigot in this regard, OP loves her clearly, so why not help her, encourage her to get a respected job? Why encourage her to keep on prostituting?

Before she met him she was earning around 30K/month as OP stated and had to pay rent, expenses and etc. Now she is with OP so the living expense is gone, so why not change jobs? unless of course OP expects her to pay all living expense as well, in which case not much else i can say, as i always considered man to be a providor

[xylophone]

This has certainly produced a lot of posts, different viewpoints and some pretty straight talking from many parties, with some showing much frustration at the attitude of the OP.

So here is something to consider. The whole thing is a "windup" from start to finish because either: –

1). The OP is a troll, OR

2). He is one of those people who really doesn't care what you think.

You will have come across his type a few times, very little in the way of drive or a sense of achievement, satisfied with 35,000 baht per month doing a job which is not taxing in any way, shape or form and content to live partly off his girlfriend who earns her living as a hooker, and who is sharing her body and sexual favours with hundreds if not thousands of others.

He has said that she helps out when he is "skint" so I doubt whether he has money stashed away in a bank account somewhere otherwise he would not allow himself to be "skint".

So there you have it, a man of low moral standards, with a lack of ambition, prepared to cruise through part of his life living off the proceeds of a hooker and of course getting a "quick bang" (his words) along the way – – fits nicely into the category of "part of life's flotsam and jetsam".

That’s the type of person he is, just accept it, and as he has no problems with his situation, it really isn't worth spending time debating it.

I'm definitely not a troll and it's not a wind-up. You're entitled to your opinion about me.

I spent almost 30 years working in the IT industry earning good money. I own a house in England, which my daughter lives in with her husband and two children; she'll inherit it one day so she may as well make use of it and keep it well maintained - and of course I have a ready made home to stay in when I go back to visit.

I'm happy to be working as a low-paid teacher in Pattaya. There are precious few other jobs open to foreigners in Thailand.

Just hanging on for my pensions to start paying out in less than 15 years...hopefully I'll survive that long.

May I compliment you on your measured response to my somewhat provocative post.

And I would like to state that I did start it saying that "this was something to consider", because I don't know you, nor can I understand your actions, but then I suppose it takes all sorts, as they say.

Finally, I do think that "lemoncake" has a very good point in his post #178, so why wouldn't you go down that route?

Edited April 15, 2013 by xylophone

[detinu68]

Just hanging on for my pensions to start paying out in less than 15 years...hopefully I'll survive that long.

Hopefully your pensions will hold out that long, and still be worth something when you can finally collect them.

I sincerely hope so too. It's a different theme, but I contributed to my old company's earnings related pension scheme for about 15 years and the annual statements I get from them look promising. I also paid into the UK State pension scheme and do so voluntarily now. And for over ten years I paid into the German State pension scheme, which is also earnings related.

I'm pleased that I don't have all my eggs in one basket, 2 pensions are backed by Governments and the other by a multinational company with over 90,000 employees

[Thailaw]

This has certainly produced a lot of posts, different viewpoints and some pretty straight talking from many parties, with some showing much frustration at the attitude of the OP.

So here is something to consider. The whole thing is a "windup" from start to finish because either: –

1). The OP is a troll, OR

2). He is one of those people who really doesn't care what you think.

You will have come across his type a few times, very little in the way of drive or a sense of achievement, satisfied with 35,000 baht per month doing a job which is not taxing in any way, shape or form and content to live partly off his girlfriend who earns her living as a hooker, and who is sharing her body and sexual favours with hundreds if not thousands of others.

He has said that she helps out when he is "skint" so I doubt whether he has money stashed away in a bank account somewhere otherwise he would not allow himself to be "skint".

So there you have it, a man of low moral standards, with a lack of ambition, prepared to cruise through part of his life living off the proceeds of a hooker and of course getting a "quick bang" (his words) along the way – – fits nicely into the category of "part of life's flotsam and jetsam".

That’s the type of person he is, just accept it, and as he has no problems with his situation, it really isn't worth spending time debating it.

Very nicely put. In maritime law, there are four kinds of wreckage -- "flotsam, jetsam, lagan and derelict". "Flotsam" is floating wreckage of a ship or its cargo. "Jetsam" is part of a ship or its cargo that is purposefully jettisoned to lighten the load. "Lagan" is cargo that is lying on the ocean bottom that can be reclaimed. "Derelict" is cargo lying on the ocean bottom, but with no hope or expectation of salvage/reclaiming. The OP is clearly "derelict," with a very high liklihood of becoming "jetsam" when his live-in has had enough of his sorry butt and lightens her load....Stay tuned -- there is a "Pattaya Plunge" story in the making.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Just hanging on for my pensions to start paying out in less than 15 years...hopefully I'll survive that long.

Hopefully your pensions will hold out that long, and still be worth something when you can finally collect them.

I sincerely hope so too. It's a different theme, but I contributed to my old company's earnings related pension scheme for about 15 years and the annual statements I get from them look promising. I also paid into the UK State pension scheme and do so voluntarily now. And for over ten years I paid into the German State pension scheme, which is also earnings related.

I'm pleased that I don't have all my eggs in one basket, 2 pensions are backed by Governments and the other by a multinational company with over 90,000 employees

Some governments are changing the rules so you can't claim a state pension unless you live in the country.

Foreign exchange rates can drastically alter your expected pension.

Company pensions can fold.

These days it's becoming very worrying.

It seems nothing is safe any more.