40K A Month Isn't Enough Anymore

[BookMan]

^^ Agreeing with you.

So much of the banter here talks about 'me' or 'her' ... but rarely about 'us' ... as you described it ... a 'partnership'.

.

Y'know, I don't think the sentiments in Smokie's post really apply to you, Dave. You're paying your bird.a salary so she doesn't leave you beside the kerb and go back to work in gainful employment in order to take care of her family.

That's not a partnership and you know it.

Still, you go ahead and use that term to make yourself feel better about what you're doing but you're not fooling anyone here.

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

[BookMan]

"Most of the farangs"?

I think you may actually be quite surprised.

-

IMO most (a lot) farang living here are in relationships that at least started off as explicitly commercial.

Many high-horse types here wouldn't call them marriages, but that's not for someone outside to say IMO.

If the term were always defined to only include strong intimate relationships between "equal" partners, then many back home would be disqualified as well.

Spot on FunFon.

(* my blue highlighting/edit)

Edited April 19, 2013 by BookMan

[FunFon]

Spot on FunFon.

(* my blue highlighting/edit)

-

Well given the areas that most farang live in Thailand, and what I know of most of the guys I know living in the sticks, I personally think 51% is a very very low estimate.

But we'll never really know will we.

[Spaniel]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

Edited April 19, 2013 by Spaniel

[FunFon]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

-

"Not big spenders" - two homes, car, leisure travel.

Keeps coming back to how long is a piece of string.

[maxme]

^^ Agreeing with you.

So much of the banter here talks about 'me' or 'her' ... but rarely about 'us' ... as you described it ... a 'partnership'.

.

Y'know, I don't think the sentiments in Smokie's post really apply to you, Dave. You're paying your bird.a salary so she doesn't leave you beside the kerb and go back to work in gainful employment in order to take care of her family.

That's not a partnership and you know it.

Still, you go ahead and use that term to make yourself feel better about what you're doing but you're not fooling anyone here.

My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

[FunFon]

Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

-

How could you when the the Ejaculation Control Conspiracy is in full control over there?

-

http://www.euskalnet.net/larraorma/crypto/slide66.html

[Beetlejuice]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

You claim you and your wife are not big spenders, but you are certainly living an extravagant lifestyle.

2 homes, several trips or holidays per year around Thailand, cars, as in plural not singular, full insurance coverage, medical and auto for yourself and wife, medical expenses and I bet you have all the mod cons in your homes.

And the whole deal is only costing you on average, 71000 baht a month, 2300 baht a day, about $2000 a month, at today’s exchange rates. You’re getting a bargain and living the life of the idle rich.

[muythai2013]

SOULLESS

Regardless, I stand by what I said which is; Any man who pays his wife or girlfriend a monthly stipend is an idiot. I'm not talking about money for houskeeping, some nice clothes, gifts or what have you; I'm talking about a regular payment she "sends to the family" that ensures she'll remain with him.

Tell you what; tell your wife or girlfriend that the stipend is being rescinded then come back and tell us all what happened . . . once you've fought through the cloud of dust she's left on the way out.

I totally agree - And while we're at it I think we should stop taking care of our children. Let the little buggers buy their own diapers and milk, doctor visits, cute clothes and toys. Damn straight.

Simply a feeble attempt of humor. Forgive me.

Don't be daft. That's hardly the same is it?

You can't compare a helpless child with a fully-grown woman who'd rather meet her financial obligations with the proceeds of a stipend provided by a hapless, lovelorn idiot than rely on her own efforts.

Guys getting into relationships where they know full well the woman's gonna chuck her job in favour of the meal ticket he represents are idiots and time usually proves it.

ThaiVisa members are different, I know that, because they tell me on the on the internet that they are different, nearly every Farang I know in real life ended up with a bargirl, seems very strange that nearly every Farang on an anonymous internet forum, didn't.

It don't make sense, most guys on ThaiVisa are old, how would they get a normal Thai woman without there being some financial benefit to her, it just don't happen in real life, only in internetland.

This woman 30 years my juniour loves me for who I am..............yeah right, of course she does.

Im 37, my wife is 33, none of my friends are with bargirls or former bargirls except one, they finished now.

the farang people you know must be fools, birds of a feather right.

[mrtoad]

I don't consider what he has as extravagant, in fact it's pretty much what many people's lifestyles are in their own countires. I've never understood, why anyone would want to lower their standard of living to being in a studio apartment, eating and living like a local through choice and never taking a holiday. Many of those that talk about extravagance, would jump at the chance to live like Spaniel - but there is another point in his post, which seems to have been missed - his outgoings are low, because he's already paid for the properties and the cars - and he might be a little bit older that 40. He's probably earnt that through hard work and diligence around his monies.

[FunFon]

I don't consider what he has as extravagant, in fact it's pretty much what many people's lifestyles are in their own countires. I've never understood, why anyone would want to lower their standard of living to being in a studio apartment, eating and living like a local through choice and never taking a holiday. Many of those that talk about extravagance, would jump at the chance to live like Spaniel - but there is another point in his post, which seems to have been missed - his outgoings are low, because he's already paid for the properties and the cars - and he might be a little bit older that 40. He's probably earnt that through hard work and diligence around his monies.

-

No one's expressing anything negative about the lifestyle itself, just the claim that it's not a relatively wealthy one, when in fact it is just that, not just globally but yes compared to average people back home, who even in the wealthiest countries can't afford to go out to restaurants more often than once in a while.

Just not compared to those classes that used to be the only ones that could afford to travel.

And I think this is source of some of the "look what's happened to the neighborhood" commentary from old-timers.

Due to rock-bottom airfares and more universal exchange of information, in recent decades ordinary people - with what used to be considered lower-class occupations - can now afford to travel internationally and are now taking it upon themselves to do so, while that used to be the sole province of the wealthier parts of society.

Gosh, even men wearing shorts and singlets with tattoos, white socks with flipflops god forbid are now walking around where only people with genuine Vuitton luggage used to tread.

So people coming along and saying "I don't think I'm extravagant" but then talking about a lifestyle that most people - here or back home - couldn't afford, are inviting criticism.

But in the end it all comes back to how long is a piece of string, just having clean drinking water and not having to bathe in feces is an extravagant lifestyle for many on this planet.

[Beetlejuice]

I don't consider what he has as extravagant, in fact it's pretty much what many people's lifestyles are in their own countires. I've never understood, why anyone would want to lower their standard of living to being in a studio apartment, eating and living like a local through choice and never taking a holiday. Many of those that talk about extravagance, would jump at the chance to live like Spaniel - but there is another point in his post, which seems to have been missed - his outgoings are low, because he's already paid for the properties and the cars - and he might be a little bit older that 40. He's probably earnt that through hard work and diligence around his monies.

so you think that many people in the West, own 2 homes, and have cars all fully paid for?

Many of the those who I left behind, were struggling to pay and maintain the 1 home they already had and were up to their eyeballs in debt, mortgaged up to the hilt.

It is still possible here to eat decent food, live in an accommodation, if owned, much superior to a studio apartment and run a vehicle, for a lot less than 40000 baht. I know, because that`s exactly what I am doing, if not taking into account, social, holidays or partying every-night.

I agree, most of us would jump at the chance to live like Spaniel and good luck to him if he has the money and can afford his lifestyle, as everyone should live according to their means. But no one needs to lower they`re standards of living when moving to Thailand, if they are prepared to live middle of the road, keep things in moderation and know their limits, the same as they did in their home countries.

[pattayadingo]

^^^ Beetlejuice..... well said.

I have friends who are getting desperate back home. Bedroom tax, low pensions, rising prices, now having to pay a portion of their council tax.

My son & his partner have had £40 a month knocked off their money and they are both studying to better themselves.

High gas, electric and petrol prices along with high food prices.

Yet I too can live here comfortably on 40K a month.

Yet they can spend £10 million on a funeral for a has been !

Edited April 19, 2013 by pattayadingo

[smokie36]

^^ Agreeing with you.

So much of the banter here talks about 'me' or 'her' ... but rarely about 'us' ... as you described it ... a 'partnership'.

.

Y'know, I don't think the sentiments in Smokie's post really apply to you, Dave. You're paying your bird.a salary so she doesn't leave you beside the kerb and go back to work in gainful employment in order to take care of her family.

That's not a partnership and you know it.

Still, you go ahead and use that term to make yourself feel better about what you're doing but you're not fooling anyone here.

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

Sometimes what is written here doesn't truly reflect the ins and outs of a relationship.

I've met David48 and his lovely girlfriend MissFarmGirl. They are a wonderful couple.

I know where you are coming from HardenedSoul but on this occasion you are barking up the wrong tree.

Peace and love to all of you!

[HardenedSoul]

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

He may not have used the term, "salary" but that's more or less what it equates to. His GF didn't have to find work; she actually left her management job to be with him provided he came up with the readies to replace what she was sending to her family. In other words, she gets paid and doesn't have to work.

You suggest that people in Western relationships would call that a partnership; That's <deleted>; People in the West would call it a business transaction

I mean, how many of us - if we were back home - after meeting a normal, gainfully employed, comparatively self sufficient woman meeting her obligations from her own efforts would be fine about it if she turned around and said, "Tell you what, I'll leave my job, move in with you and be your girlfriend and you can pay for my family's upkeep. In return, my folks will babysit on the odd occasions when we go to visit them?"

My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

Abso-fuggin-lutely!!

I wouldn't hook up with a freebooter in London so I won't do it here.

I accept that a lot of Western men here tend to lower the bar because they may have little in the way of choice if they want a young, attractive wife/girlfriend they'd have no chance of securing back home and that's fair enough but, as far as I'm concerned, I prefer to look at Thailand as another country, not another reality in which common sense values and life choices go out the window upon arrival.

[rgs2001uk]

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

He may not have used the term, "salary" but that's more or less what it equates to. His GF didn't have to find work; she actually left her management job to be with him provided he came up with the readies to replace what she was sending to her family. In other words, she gets paid and doesn't have to work.

You suggest that people in Western relationships would call that a partnership; That's <deleted>; People in the West would call it a business transaction

I mean, how many of us - if we were back home - after meeting a normal, gainfully employed, comparatively self sufficient woman meeting her obligations from her own efforts would be fine about it if she turned around and said, "Tell you what, I'll leave my job, move in with you and be your girlfriend and you can pay for my family's upkeep. In return, my folks will babysit on the odd occasions when we go to visit them?"

>My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

Abso-fuggin-lutely!!

I wouldn't hook up with a freebooter in London so I won't do it here.

I accept that a lot of Western men here tend to lower the bar because they may have little in the way of choice if they want a young, attractive wife/girlfriend they'd have no chance of securing back home and that's fair enough but, as far as I'm concerned, I prefer to look at Thailand as another country, not another reality in which common sense values and life choices go out the window upon arrival.

HS, I hear you, singing from the same hymn sheet.

I wonder how many on here would consider taking up with a single mother of 3 kids living on welfare benefits, from some sink estate and unemployed, so why do they do it here?

Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

To answer this question, my attitude to Thailand was, would I do this in farangland, answer no.

I have written on here before and will do so again, the last 3 women I was involved with in farangland all had, their own house, cars and jobs, they never asked me for a penny.

I was never asked for sin sot by my wifes family, I dont pay her money every month, my wife doesnt give money to any family member.

I have come to the conclusion, there must be something wrong with me, must have married the wrong type of woman.

[Gweiloman]

I don't consider what he has as extravagant, in fact it's pretty much what many people's lifestyles are in their own countires. I've never understood, why anyone would want to lower their standard of living to being in a studio apartment, eating and living like a local through choice and never taking a holiday. Many of those that talk about extravagance, would jump at the chance to live like Spaniel - but there is another point in his post, which seems to have been missed - his outgoings are low, because he's already paid for the properties and the cars - and he might be a little bit older that 40. He's probably earnt that through hard work and diligence around his monies.

I fully agree. I don't consider Spaniel's lifestyle extravagant at all.

Reason that a lot of people in the West don't own two houses is very simply because it is a much more expensive and hardly affordable to the middle classes. This is yet another advantage of living out in the Far East - being able to own two houses, drive two cars (for a family mind you) for relatively little money compared to UK for example.

Thb 40,000 a month equates to just under Gbp1,000 at current exchange rates. I don't know what UK pensions are but I guess it must be much less than this. However, for those living here on their pensions, surely they must have had some savings accumulated through their many years of working? Furthermore, there must be some capital sums as well from sale of their house when they left?

[FunFon]

Even back home, if my own wealth and income were hundreds of times greater than my girlfriend, I had a lot of free time I wanted her to spend with me, and the amount she earned per week was less than I spent on a decent night out, sure I'd offer to keep her in the style to which she'd like to become accustomed and none of that would imply any of the nastiness you're implying.

This coming from a guy that sees nothing wrong with a straight-up business transaction between consenting adults in any location on this planet.

Just pointing out that the economic disparity factor is a real one to take into account, and assuming the loved one's responsibilities don't equate to an explicitly commercial relationship.

[Gweiloman]

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

He may not have used the term, "salary" but that's more or less what it equates to. His GF didn't have to find work; she actually left her management job to be with him provided he came up with the readies to replace what she was sending to her family. In other words, she gets paid and doesn't have to work.

You suggest that people in Western relationships would call that a partnership; That's <deleted>; People in the West would call it a business transaction

I mean, how many of us - if we were back home - after meeting a normal, gainfully employed, comparatively self sufficient woman meeting her obligations from her own efforts would be fine about it if she turned around and said, "Tell you what, I'll leave my job, move in with you and be your girlfriend and you can pay for my family's upkeep. In return, my folks will babysit on the odd occasions when we go to visit them?"

>My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

Abso-fuggin-lutely!!

I wouldn't hook up with a freebooter in London so I won't do it here.

I accept that a lot of Western men here tend to lower the bar because they may have little in the way of choice if they want a young, attractive wife/girlfriend they'd have no chance of securing back home and that's fair enough but, as far as I'm concerned, I prefer to look at Thailand as another country, not another reality in which common sense values and life choices go out the window upon arrival.

When I was living in the UK, my (then) wife was diagnosed with early stages of rheumatoid arthritis. We had two young girls, aged about 4 and 5. I decided that she should actually stop work and rather spend the time at home looking after the kids. She wasn't earning all that much, maybe around Gbp 25k per annum and most of that actually goes to childcare anyway. I then took full responsibility of all household bills including whatever money she wanted or needed.

Is that not the same as a "salary" as you put it?

There are still many households in the UK where the wife is a full time housewife, looking after the house and the kids. The husband is then responsible for all bills and payments, insurance, loans and what have you. Ultimately, it's the same arrangement - it's just whether you want to look at it from a commercial or compassionate point of view.

[rgs2001uk]

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

He may not have used the term, "salary" but that's more or less what it equates to. His GF didn't have to find work; she actually left her management job to be with him provided he came up with the readies to replace what she was sending to her family. In other words, she gets paid and doesn't have to work.

You suggest that people in Western relationships would call that a partnership; That's <deleted>; People in the West would call it a business transaction

I mean, how many of us - if we were back home - after meeting a normal, gainfully employed, comparatively self sufficient woman meeting her obligations from her own efforts would be fine about it if she turned around and said, "Tell you what, I'll leave my job, move in with you and be your girlfriend and you can pay for my family's upkeep. In return, my folks will babysit on the odd occasions when we go to visit them?"

>My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as

well?

Abso-fuggin-lutely!!

I wouldn't hook up with a freebooter in London so I won't do it here.

I accept that a lot of Western men here tend to lower the bar because they may have little in the way of choice if they want a young, attractive wife/girlfriend they'd have no chance of securing back home and that's fair enough but, as far as I'm concerned, I prefer to look at Thailand as another country, not another reality in which common sense values and life choices go out the window upon arrival.

When I was living in the UK, my (then) wife was diagnosed with early stages of rheumatoid arthritis. We had two young girls, aged about 4 and 5. I decided that she should actually stop work and rather spend the time at home looking after the kids. She wasn't earning all that much, maybe around Gbp 25k per annum and most of that actually goes to childcare anyway. I then took full responsibility of all household bills including whatever money she wanted or needed.

Is that not the same as a "salary" as you put it?

There are still many households in the UK where the wife is a full time housewife, looking after the house and the kids. The husband is then responsible for all bills and payments, insurance, loans and what have you. Ultimately, it's the same arrangement - it's just whether you want to look at it from a commercial or compassionate point of view.

For many its probably the norm, the difference is, the wife was probably working and contributing to the arrangements, eg helping meet costs etc etc.

Its was probably a joint decision to have children, if for whatever reason the wife and husband choose for the wife to stay home and look after children, its a marriage and what it takes to make one work.

Consider the other option, farang rocks up in Thailand pulls some girl from a bar and pays her 40k per month to live with him. Girl contributes nothing to the relationship except from the obvious.

Hardly the same.

[BradinAsia]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

Do you suggest that we consider the cost of living in Pattaya as typical?

House condo and cars paid for and 854,000 expenses for the year???

Please pardon my candid observation, but It looks to me like an extreme

case of a farang with very poor money management skills.

If my house and condo and car were paid for, I could live like a Arab

sheik on 450,000 per year in Chiang Mai.

[Gweiloman]

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

He may not have used the term, "salary" but that's more or less what it equates to. His GF didn't have to find work; she actually left her management job to be with him provided he came up with the readies to replace what she was sending to her family. In other words, she gets paid and doesn't have to work.

You suggest that people in Western relationships would call that a partnership; That's <deleted>; People in the West would call it a business transaction

I mean, how many of us - if we were back home - after meeting a normal, gainfully employed, comparatively self sufficient woman meeting her obligations from her own efforts would be fine about it if she turned around and said, "Tell you what, I'll leave my job, move in with you and be your girlfriend and you can pay for my family's upkeep. In return, my folks will babysit on the odd occasions when we go to visit them?"

>My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as

well?

Abso-fuggin-lutely!!

I wouldn't hook up with a freebooter in London so I won't do it here.

I accept that a lot of Western men here tend to lower the bar because they may have little in the way of choice if they want a young, attractive wife/girlfriend they'd have no chance of securing back home and that's fair enough but, as far as I'm concerned, I prefer to look at Thailand as another country, not another reality in which common sense values and life choices go out the window upon arrival.

When I was living in the UK, my (then) wife was diagnosed with early stages of rheumatoid arthritis. We had two young girls, aged about 4 and 5. I decided that she should actually stop work and rather spend the time at home looking after the kids. She wasn't earning all that much, maybe around Gbp 25k per annum and most of that actually goes to childcare anyway. I then took full responsibility of all household bills including whatever money she wanted or needed.

Is that not the same as a "salary" as you put it?

There are still many households in the UK where the wife is a full time housewife, looking after the house and the kids. The husband is then responsible for all bills and payments, insurance, loans and what have you. Ultimately, it's the same arrangement - it's just whether you want to look at it from a commercial or compassionate point of view.

For many its probably the norm, the difference is, the wife was probably working and contributing to the arrangements, eg helping meet costs etc etc.

Its was probably a joint decision to have children, if for whatever reason the wife and husband choose for the wife to stay home and look after children, its a marriage and what it takes to make one work.

Consider the other option, farang rocks up in Thailand pulls some girl from a bar and pays her 40k per month to live with him. Girl contributes nothing to the relationship except from the obvious.

Hardly the same.

In this particular example, I fully agree. However, this does not seem at all to be the case with David48.

[smokie36]

I didn't hear him mention a salary HS, just helping give to his GFs family what she gave before. He told us he would help her until she could find some work or be a mum.

Most people in a relationship in Western cultures and Thai culture would call that a partnership

He may not have used the term, "salary" but that's more or less what it equates to. His GF didn't have to find work; she actually left her management job to be with him provided he came up with the readies to replace what she was sending to her family. In other words, she gets paid and doesn't have to work.

You suggest that people in Western relationships would call that a partnership; That's <deleted>; People in the West would call it a business transaction

I mean, how many of us - if we were back home - after meeting a normal, gainfully employed, comparatively self sufficient woman meeting her obligations from her own efforts would be fine about it if she turned around and said, "Tell you what, I'll leave my job, move in with you and be your girlfriend and you can pay for my family's upkeep. In return, my folks will babysit on the odd occasions when we go to visit them?"

>My former post should suggested HS but came out as HD, my apologies HD.

HS, you don´t believe in a long life relationship, that´s fine and I know things are different on this side of the world so the money issue is subjective. Though I wonder, do you abide by these rules you have regarding relationship back in the west as well?

Abso-fuggin-lutely!!

I wouldn't hook up with a freebooter in London so I won't do it here.

I accept that a lot of Western men here tend to lower the bar because they may have little in the way of choice if they want a young, attractive wife/girlfriend they'd have no chance of securing back home and that's fair enough but, as far as I'm concerned, I prefer to look at Thailand as another country, not another reality in which common sense values and life choices go out the window upon arrival.

If you paid attention to David48's posts elsewhere on the forum you would realise how hard his gf does work. Not having a management job hasn't left her sitting around all day....that is for sure!

If it had i am sure David would be concerned, as would any of us had we a partner with no motivation.

Fact is David better get his wellies on!!

[Gweiloman]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

Do you suggest that we consider the cost of living in Pattaya as typical?

House condo and cars paid for and 854,000 expenses for the year???

Please pardon my candid observation, but It looks to me like an extreme

case of a farang with very poor money management skills.

If my house and condo and car were paid for, I could live like a Arab

sheik on 450,000 per year in Chiang Mai.

There are Arab sheiks and there are Arab sheiks. In my business, I have come across Arab sheiks who quibble about a Eur20 tip as well as those who would book out the whole floor in the Danieli Venice for a week.

C'mon guys, if you can afford it, it is nothing to blow Thb 10,000 for two on an evening out in Bangkok, just by going to a nice restaurant and having a nice dinner with some wine. I mentioned in another post that I spent Thb 8,000 on a simplish dinner for three in a Swiss restaurant in Sukhumvit. This is nothing overly fancy. A bavarian meat platter for two in the next door Bei Otto (open air, mind you) plus a bottle or two of wine plus a few other drinks will easily set you back Thb5-6,000. Don't even talk about having dinner in Neil's Steak House on Asok - your cheapest steak will cost Thb 1,000.

No doubt, Thb40,000 will allow you to live fairly comfortably but won't allow you to splurge if you so desire.

[HardenedSoul]

Even back home, if my own wealth and income were hundreds of times greater than my girlfriend, I had a lot of free time I wanted her to spend with me, and the amount she earned per week was less than I spent on a decent night out, sure I'd offer to keep her in the style to which she'd like to become accustomed and none of that would imply any of the nastiness you're implying.

This coming from a guy that sees nothing wrong with a straight-up business transaction between consenting adults in any location on this planet.

Just pointing out that the economic disparity factor is a real one to take into account, and assuming the loved one's responsibilities don't equate to an explicitly commercial relationship.

With all due respect, FunFon, I don't feel confident ascribing any credibility to what you have to say about money, real or imagined. There is real suspicion on TV that you may be a new incarnation of the poster formerly known as BigJohnnyBKK and, if there's any truth in that, it's safe to say that your musings on women can safely be ignored. I think you know why

In any case, I'm not implying any nastiness. I'm just pointing out the delusion that seems to afflict way too many men here with paid wives and girlfriends.

When I was living in the UK, my (then) wife was diagnosed with early stages of rheumatoid arthritis. We had two young girls, aged about 4 and 5. I decided that she should actually stop work and rather spend the time at home looking after the kids. She wasn't earning all that much, maybe around Gbp 25k per annum and most of that actually goes to childcare anyway. I then took full responsibility of all household bills including whatever money she wanted or needed.

Is that not the same as a "salary" as you put it?

There are still many households in the UK where the wife is a full time housewife, looking after the house and the kids. The husband is then responsible for all bills and payments, insurance, loans and what have you. Ultimately, it's the same arrangement - it's just whether you want to look at it from a commercial or compassionate point of view.

Don't be daft. It's nowhere near being in the same vein as what I've been describing

This was your wife; they were/are your kids; she became ill; you stepped up.

Completely different from meeting a bird, letting her bin her job then taking over her financial obligations.

[HardenedSoul]

If you paid attention to David48's posts elsewhere on the forum you would realise how hard his gf does work. Not having a management job hasn't left her sitting around all day....that is for sure!

If it had i am sure David would be concerned, as would any of us had we a partner with no motivation.

Fact is David better get his wellies on!!

I'm not one for trawling through people's past posts in order to dig up material or quotes that can be used against them in a debate . . unless, of course, I'd read them elsewhere beforehand

If David48 had taken up the invitation to provide as much information as I did about the woman I'm seeing, my responses might have been different.

He didn't so I used what little information he provided as the basis for my responses.

[FunFon]

My point is that as long as they don't delude themselves, there is nothing wrong with making whatever arrangements float your boat.

You may think that there's "only one real true way" for people to partner with each other, but no matter how little credibility I may have with you or other here I'm here to say that the mainstream-accepted model of long-term romantic monogamy is not inherently more practical nor morally superior to the many alternatives.

Edited April 19, 2013 by FunFon

[Jimmy Jump]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

You claim you and your wife are not big spenders, but you are certainly living an extravagant lifestyle.

2 homes, several trips or holidays per year around Thailand, cars, as in plural not singular, full insurance coverage, medical and auto for yourself and wife, medical expenses and I bet you have all the mod cons in your homes.

And the whole deal is only costing you on average, 71000 baht a month, 2300 baht a day, about $2000 a month, at today’s exchange rates. You’re getting a bargain and living the life of the idle rich.

Either the last time you changed US Dollars to Thai Baht was in the 90s or can you give me the address and phone number for your local foreign exchange,where you're getting 71,000 Thai Baht for 2,000 US Dollars?

[Jimmy Jump]

I track my expences monthly so it was fairly easy to come up with my yearly exp for 2012 and then my monthly costs. This figure includes everything, insurance (auto/health) for wife and myself, home in Bkk and condo in Pattaya, doctor bills, several trips per year around Thailand, food etc. House, condo and cars all paid for. Total expenses for 2012, B854,000 or B71,000 per month. We're not big spenders but I would find it difficult to live here on B40,000 per month. Wife and I are both non-drinkers.

Do you suggest that we consider the cost of living in Pattaya as typical?

House condo and cars paid for and 854,000 expenses for the year???

Please pardon my candid observation, but It looks to me like an extreme

case of a farang with very poor money management skills.

If my house and condo and car were paid for, I could live like a Arab

sheik on 450,000 per year in Chiang Mai.

There are Arab sheiks and there are Arab sheiks. In my business, I have come across Arab sheiks who quibble about a Eur20 tip as well as those who would book out the whole floor in the Danieli Venice for a week.

C'mon guys, if you can afford it, it is nothing to blow Thb 10,000 for two on an evening out in Bangkok, just by going to a nice restaurant and having a nice dinner with some wine. I mentioned in another post that I spent Thb 8,000 on a simplish dinner for three in a Swiss restaurant in Sukhumvit. This is nothing overly fancy. A bavarian meat platter for two in the next door Bei Otto (open air, mind you) plus a bottle or two of wine plus a few other drinks will easily set you back Thb5-6,000. Don't even talk about having dinner in Neil's Steak House on Asok - your cheapest steak will cost Thb 1,000.

No doubt, Thb40,000 will allow you to live fairly comfortably but won't allow you to splurge if you so desire.

I had a friend who paid over 3,000 baht for a steak in The Hard Rock Cafe,Patong,Phuket!

[arthurwait]

Doesn't Davids lady have a prawn farm that she works on ? If she leaves the farm to go to Australia (?) the family need someone to replace her.

Maybe David isn't prepared to work illegally in Thailand so they are going to Australia so he can work and get a decent education for their kids when they have some without having to pay for an international school.

Maybe Missfarm girl can't work straight away in Australia due to visa restrictions or difficulty in finding a job. When she can maybe she will be the one helping her family out.

What would you do HS if you met someone here you fell in love with and weren't prepared to work illegally so moved back to your own country to work, leaving her parents without an income as you had taken their worker/manager ?