Why Do Many Farrangs Show Disrespect To Their Neighbors

[forumuser10]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

Some people just love to call themselves farang, (there is nothing more ignorant that call ourselves farang) much to their disadvantage in the long run, but they fail to see the negative consequences, as they are usually not obvious in the short run.

[horsewell]

I thought this would be about foreigners that treat their Thai neighbours with open contempt. However, it was just a festival that only a few foreigners went to... I think the difference between country and city people too. I live in a large town and don't like to go out during songkran but other festivals you will see me... even if I am only one of a few people I have never been recognised here because there are a lot of foreigners even if they are not their at the time. In the country even though there are a lot of foreigners it is still novel for a lot of people. There are lots of reasons why we wouldn't see other foreigners: out of town, hauled up away from the water slinging, visiting relatives elsewhere.

This seems like such an naive way of looking at things. Obviously, there was a good reception and should be happy that they where the only ones there. If there where many others... they wouldn't have been so special. In due time they will meet the others in the village and get to know the reasons.

[gmac]

Why should not joining in with a local party be considered disrespectful? If the party was in my own country I wouldn't attend, why should I here. Some people like to party, some like to keep to themselves, each to his own.

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

If someone says Farang in your earshot and they are not talking about a Guava fruit or giving you stink eye then its not a slight.

It's the stuff they say out of your hearing or under their breath that is disrespectful in their eyes. Petty stuff but it's all they have in a lot of ways.

The foreigner can get back on the plane but they have to stay. I don't think a lot of foreigners would want to trade places with an average poor Thai person.

Keep that in mind and don't rub it in.

[sausageandmash]

My goal is to be the only farang in all of chiang mai; special. If i ever see another farang, i will verbally attack him and explain how he/she is evil and i am good. i will assume they only do horrible things, while i am a saint. forget listening to them, i am sure they never do all the local things i do. that would be impossible.

i think it's funny farangs don't like to look at each other when walking down a street........maybe embarrased for some bar fun and don't want to be seen.

this is a very typical insecure response by the OP.

anyhow, once i gave clothes to the burn victims and walking home i saw a lady with clothes and she said, 'you know, you really should donate if you are not too busy.' i didn't tell her i just did.....

once i biked doi suthep 3 times....and at the bottom of the last climb i decided to do the beginning section once more and turn around...when i turned around, someone asked, 'are you not going to the top?'

once i saw a guy leave church early......i wonder what this means?

Keep taking the tablets

[mike speakman]

20 years ago i was in udon for sonkran i was sqwirted with water some people poured a small bowl of water over me put talc on my face and i joined in did the same and i enjoyed it they made me very welcome for that day i felt like a thai . but 14 years ago i made pattaya my home and went out on sonkran i was pounded with water canons and buckets of water containing white furnature filler i ended up in at the hospital as my eyes where so red and my skin was burning i had and have an alergy to furnature filler at the same time i had mosy bites on my legs they became infected as the water being thrown was dirty i am sorry to say that sonkran in pattaya is more of a riot and many of my friends are in the philapines to get out of the way i myself stay in the house till late to avoid the riot also 2 days ago my thai freind was mowed down and killed by a pickup they had to berry her as her face and body was in such a mess ( SONKRAN KILLS ).

[forumuser10]

I get called "farang" all the time...they think because I don't speak the language, I don't know what they're saying....

It is very funny for a few years, to be the crazy, or exotic, "farang" but as someone pointed out earlier, if you plan to stay here long time, and have a family, and have tight bonds with your extended family, you will certainly get tired of being called "the other" all the time, the object. You would much rather be a part of the family.

[NBD]

Maybe they were away? Lots of reasons but I'll bite with an observation of my own.

I would like to get more involved in things, I do speak half decent Thai and for the first 2 or 3 years that I was here I never missed an opportunity to go to a village festival, something at the temple or whatever it was.

Now I frankly find them a headache. Every time I go to one in my wife's village I meet three very predictable types:

Mr I speak English. He runs the OK Mart and he can read. Wearing his stupid shirt and his jangling his Toyota car keys he'll come over to show how slick and international he is, by patronisingly putting his hand on my shoulder and asking the predictable "where you come flom?" questions before bidding "welcome in Thailan" and going back triumphantly to his thicko mates. Harmless but irritating.

Mr I want another drink. Smashed out of his mind already at 10am the very sight of a white face is the perfect opportunity to use his charm and guile to get a free bottle of lao khao, so he begins with "HEY YOUUUUUUU" and then stumbles over to say "You whiss-a-key take care liang bor?" A real pain in the neck and the closest I've come to punching someone in years on one occasion.

Last one would be "how much is she taking him for?" usually an older "aunty" of some sort, in her late 40s with a fake designer hand bag, she'll ask a few cursory "where you come flom?" questions before getting straight down to when am I buying land, a car and what sin sod will I pay. Makes me regret ever coming.

Most of them are perfectly decent, if completely disinterested, but our conversation is limited to a few lines of greeting, and they'd usually rather talk to my wife than me even for that, despite my Thai being up to the task.

Throw in the fact that it's invariably baking hot and involves hours of sitting on the floor listening to a monk, then I really don't feel the need to keep going. For what it's worth, if I married a girl from Scotland I wouldn't feel the need to go to Burn's night every year, even if I lived there.

By the same token I have some very good Thai friends who are a bit more worldly and rounded in their outlook. Call it arrogant or aloof if you want, but I tend to mix with people with a more similar outlook, and fun as a village festival is once in a blue moon, it's not something I feel I should be doing every week.

[Fgis]

Many of us are not fond of the local customs :-)

They are ok when you just arrive in the country but then you understand all shit shxt is boring as well as the uninteresting people who join :-)

[mike speakman]

I WENT TO THE BANK IN MY SMALL MIRA CAR YESTERDAY AND MY CAR WAS HIT AT THE FRONT BY A BUCKET OF WATER AND IT DROWNED MY SPARKPLUG LEADS I HAD TO HOBBLE HOME ON ONLY 2 POTS I WAS NOT BEST PLEASED I HAD TO DRY EVERYTHING OUT AT HOME SO SONKRAN NO THANKS.

[ChoakMyDee]

When I was new I was enamored with everything Thai and got involved in everything I could. Not so much now. I choke on the smoke at these gatherings. The music is so loud it is painful. Why should I feel obligated to go to some function where I'm choking and in pain? It's always the same thing, too much smoke, music too loud. All the things the others have mentioned too...the drunk guy who won't leave me alone and eventually I leave early to get away from him yelling and spitting on me. It doesn't mean I am anti-social though. I like to eat Isaan food and my wife and I do take part in village events...give candy to children at Christmas; help the extended family when needed...just when it's a party, I don't stay too long.

I think the OP hasn't been in Thailand very long to have the questions he has.

[Dr Wanchai]

The majority these farangs who chose to make Thailand their homes are from low social class.

They are just behaving the way they have done in their own countries.

Hi-So Thais look down on them.

[Dap]

Bottom line, "To each his own." What others do, does not concern me unless directly affected.

Many in this world make decisions about where to reside factoring finances and environment.

Neighbors or lack thereof are often of no concern as long as they mind their own business. Some

folk (seemingly yourself) are more social, some others are not and that is their right. Just because they

didn't show up to the poo yais wingding does not make them any less happy than yourself.

Learn to live and let live mate. As I see it, you were the one affected, not them. IMO of course.

[Tanuki]

I hear the term farang every day in my travels

i used to hear the word nig*** when I lived I the states...

[Tanuki]

The majority these farangs who chose to make Thailand their homes are from low social class.

They are just behaving the way they have done in their own countries.

Hi-So Thais look down on them.

Huh?

[Equalizer]

Fortunately i am married to a Thai. Unfortunately she is the only one i like. Thailand is racist, Thailand is sexist, Thailand is in the dark ages as far as welcoming you into the society. I have been here 8 years, i bring 1.4 million baht per year through my Siam Commercial bank, i have a marrage visa and the system refuses to recognise me in any way. A Thai man with a foreign spouse, now theres the sexist, she is treated as a citizen, mainly because she married to a Thai MAN. Other way around, forget it. The bank will not allow us a mortgage because i am the bread winner, not her. My daughter is Thai/English but i live here so she stays Thai out of respect. They need to get their stuck up heads out of their <deleted> and show some respect to married people. Simples.

[NBD]

That said, maybe I am a bit anti social as you won't find me propping up farang bars or hanging out in backpacker hostels much either.

[loong]

When I was new I was enamored with everything Thai and got involved in everything I could. Not so much now. I choke on the smoke at these gatherings. The music is so loud it is painful. Why should I feel obligated to go to some function where I'm choking and in pain? It's always the same thing, too much smoke, music too loud. All the things the others have mentioned too...the drunk guy who won't leave me alone and eventually I leave early to get away from him yelling and spitting on me. It doesn't mean I am anti-social though. I like to eat Isaan food and my wife and I do take part in village events...give candy to children at Christmas; help the extended family when needed...just when it's a party, I don't stay too long.

I think the OP hasn't been in Thailand very long to have the questions he has.

I agree with what you say.

I used to enjoy going to Thai parties, but I just had enough of the sychophantic Thais that would practically grovel to get free drinks. Constant requests for cigarettes. I wasn't allowed to simply have fun, because so many people who I didn't know zeroed in on me and pretended to be my friend just to get out of me whatever they could.

I may not be totally happy to be addressed as "Farang", but it really grates when they shout "YOU YOU YOU" and wave an empty bottle in my face and say "Wis-a-gee mawt "

Most Thais are really nice at these celebrations, but the few make it intolerable for me, they simply won't leave me alone. If I can eventually get rid of them they are immediately replaced by another pain in the arse!

[forumuser10]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

I know what you mean. Let's use the term "white man" in future. It has a lot more dignity.

What about foreigner? Or your nationality, or even westerner is better, if he is, that is. But foreigner would be just fine.

[Dap]

The majority these farangs who chose to make Thailand their homes are from low social class.

They are just behaving the way they have done in their own countries.

Hi-So Thais look down on them.

Huh?

Seemingly, Hi-So Thai's look down on most everyone not of their own stature

[MESmith]

The majority these farangs who chose to make Thailand their homes are from low social class.

They are just behaving the way they have done in their own countries.

Hi-So Thais look down on them.

Huh?

Seemingly, Hi-So Thai's look down on most everyone not of their own stature

Hi-so thais even look down on their own shadow

[canuckamuck]

The majority these farangs who chose to make Thailand their homes are from low social class.

They are just behaving the way they have done in their own countries.

Hi-So Thais look down on them.

Yes but they are such a tiny group.

[Markaew]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

I haven't gone out in public yet and not heard "Farang".

[caykay]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

If you take exception to being called a farang, you should not be here.

Do you mean to say you don't call someone a Greek or Italian or a foreigner in your country??

Don't be so thin skinned. I frequently use it about myself in conversation!

P.S., the word for Farang (ferengi) comes from all of South Asia and South East Asia when it was used to refer to the "Franks" as those from the other side of the world. It is also the source of the word for "foreigner". It doesn't have to be an insult unless you take it on as one. Don't act like a "bird shit farang" and you don't need to be one! I take it as a badge of honor. I'm 6'7" and pasty white, you kinda can't hide me in the middle of a crowd here. My "difference" is obvious. I go to the store and all the little kids just stare, mouths open wide, sometimes their parents are embarassed, but I just smile and laugh it off. People are just people. Don't take life personally. It ain't personal anyway.

Both of you are full of it. First of all, I don't point, stare and shout at foreigners in my own country, and I certainly don't have a specific racial slur to refer to them based on the color of their skin.

Second, any term that refers to you as an "it" instead of a person is meant to separate you from the group, bottom line. Once you're in a family here, they will call you by name, as it is the Thai way to address someone with respect. Addressing someone as farang, even if done in ignorance, is disrespectful, unless you are trying to describe a person's appearance. Don't give me that claptrap about the origin of the word, because the meaning changed long ago. Gay used to mean happy, and now it does not.

[falangjim]

This is my fourth Songkran. I love Songkran. Just love it. I've been to both Bangkok and rural celebrations and they always prove to be fun. I got a taste of what a "gentle Songkran" was at the village where row upon row of elderly people sat waiting for jasmine scented water to be softly poured on them. And in turn they would shake my hand and sometimes wai. Really moving event, actually, and a great way to make sure you are seen in the village as an ally, not an enemy. I've also been to several monk parades in the village, too. Even when I try to find a quick exit off a side soi, someone pulls me back in line. Hilarious. They really do want you to complete the course with them, not just bow out when you feel like it.

I think it's unfair to paint all foreigners living in Thailand with the same "rude" brush, just as it's unfair to treat Thais as all of the same mind. My fellow ex-pat friends who don't want to be bothered getting doused with water for 5 days choose to either go back home during April or shut themselves in. Whether they live in a "mini-mansion" or a cheap studio apartment, I don't see the correlation as to where they live and what their level of participation is. Like a previous poster wrote, "you can be anonymous in Bangkok." It's a bit harder to blend into a village, though.

And to some of those "grinches'" defense, Songkran represents 7 days of alcohol-related road deaths. I can see their point in not wanting to go out. I know a lot of families in America who, when New Year's Eve celebrations come around, would rather stay in the house with family playing games. They still drank, had fun, and it was safer. Who's to say this isn't the same sort of thing happening inside a locked-up home in Thailand?

My daughter loves Songkran and she's just a toddler. I wouldn't dream of shutting her out from the fun, but believe me, I watch her like a hawk. I'm not Thai, but we all have the Thai spirit during Songkran; I don't hold a grudge for the people who feel differently about it.

Edited April 18, 2013 by falangjim

[Ulysses G.]

People who get outraged about being called farang are never going to be happy here and they are going to keep being called farang as long as they stay - no matter how angry they get about it. Personally, being called a white person does not bother me at all.

Edited April 18, 2013 by Ulysses G.

[fxe1200]

Why not ask the question the other way around:

Why Do Many Neighbors Show Disrespect To Their Farrangs? ..we will have another bucket of answers.

[uptheos]

People who get outraged about being called farang are never going to be happy here and they are going to keep being called farang as long as they stay - no matter how angry they get about it. Personally, being called a white person does not bother me at all.

UG, I think the people who get most upset by the term farang are those that speak or understand a little Thai. They hear the word 'farang' which they recognise as it's so common, might see a few people laughing or giggling, don't understand the context and paranoia sets in. Maybe some people should start to realise that they just aren't important enough to be talked about.

[hellodolly]

Fortunately i am married to a Thai. Unfortunately she is the only one i like. Thailand is racist, Thailand is sexist, Thailand is in the dark ages as far as welcoming you into the society. I have been here 8 years, i bring 1.4 million baht per year through my Siam Commercial bank, i have a marrage visa and the system refuses to recognise me in any way. A Thai man with a foreign spouse, now theres the sexist, she is treated as a citizen, mainly because she married to a Thai MAN. Other way around, forget it. The bank will not allow us a mortgage because i am the bread winner, not her. My daughter is Thai/English but i live here so she stays Thai out of respect. They need to get their stuck up heads out of their <deleted> and show some respect to married people. Simples.

Try the Siam commercial bank in the night bazaar they said they would give my wife the loan even though she does not work. I am the sole money maker in the family. With more than enough guaranteed income to meet the requirements of a single man.

I call her my wife even though we would be called common law in Canada it has worked for going on 7 years now and I would not hesitate an instant to marry her if it was needed for a loan in case I ever lose my marbles and decide I want all that headache back of being responsible for every little detail in the house and yard. Plus giving up the idea that I am free to go and come as I please. I would also marry her at the drop of a pin if it would help to get her to a visit in Canada or the US.

She dosen't work because she is worth more to me than she can make working. So now her job is to take care of me.

Lucky for her I am low maintenance.LOL

Just a suggestion but it has worked well for me and others,

Give the Thais half a chance and you will be surprised at how friendly they can be.

[hellodolly]

People who get outraged about being called farang are never going to be happy here and they are going to keep being called farang as long as they stay - no matter how angry they get about it. Personally, being called a white person does not bother me at all.

UG, I think the people who get most upset by the term farang are those that speak or understand a little Thai. They hear the word 'farang' which they recognise as it's so common, might see a few people laughing or giggling, don't understand the context and paranoia sets in. Maybe some people should start to realise that they just aren't important enough to be talked about.

Are you talking about me?