Need Advise For Marriage With Thai

[MobileContent]

If you live in a HDB and are not married do you live in with your parents or do you own the HDB flat. If you own the flat you might have a way to raise some funds via CPF.

If you currently are employed do consider staying in Singapore and save money and let your GF/wife join you in Singapore. May be bring her a couple of times a week to the Golden Mile Complex where you can find anything and almost everything about Thailand.

[rotary]

I would keep working at my present job in my present country and just take holidays when possible. Not the best thing in the world but the other options are not that bright either.

[arthurwait]

I may be reading wrong but are you saying both GF and you would not have employment in Thailand but you have a steady job in your home country? Would expect your best choice would be to have her join you after the marriage - the ability to earn and social benefits would likely be much better than for you in Thailand with no special qualification for expat employment.

she is currently employed as a nurse....but her job requires her to travel to different places to thai.

im wondering if there's any job oppotunity for me in thai?

Without knowing your qualifications, work experience and whether your company has Thai branches it's pretty hard to help you on that.

[Minnehaha]

Get married in Singapore, set up home, let her do her food thing, and you work on getting better jobs. Look for phase 2 when appropriate. Being together is what you really want... do you really want to be smashing somtam on a street corner?

[lopburi3]

One post removed - please use standard font and black text when posting.

[Rogue33]

As a young guy I would advice you to keep your current job and start the procedures to bring your wife to Singapore. IMO, this is the best option if you plan to built a family with her. I'm pretty sure she can adapts to Singapore and she can always make trips to Thailand every now and then.

Based on personal experience here, it's really difficult for young guys to make a living in Thailand, even if you got a bachelor (or Master) degree and some professional experiences in your field. I think not impossible but really far from been easy. You also need to consider that many occupations are reserved to Thai people. E.g. Lawyer, accountant and on and on. There's always the possibility to teach English but most of the position pay between 30 000-40 000 bahts/month (maybe a little bit more if you got TESOL). IMO, not that much if you have a family, have a car payment to do, pay your rent, cover some of the family expenses and this without talking about putting some money away for the rainy days.

There's the possibility of doing business here but you need to have some money to open a business. Also, IMO, without having a good business plan, extended business management experiences, an extended knowledge of Thailand and doing business here (or a partner that does) this is a risky road. Even more for a young guy with probably limited savings (and no other income). There is no guarantee that you will make money and you might end up losing everything. Not good IMO if you have a family to take care of. I would suggest to consider that option only if you have a good amount of savings and that you are able to loose it without problem. Last thing, some small business (as a small food shop or a small clothes shop or something like that) will not generate a lot of income monthly and don't really worth the investment IMO.

So, IMO, you better stay in Singapore and take the appropriate measures so your wife can come live there with you. I'm pretty sure she can find a small job there once she adapted to her new country. When she's homesick, you can always plan a trip back to Thailand. This is the best option for stability IMO. Work in your home country with your wife, save some money and later on move to Thailand to retire.

Best of luck to you from another young guy

[Rogue33]

I forgot, one other option would be to find a company in Singapore that is looking for workers to go work for them in Thailand. I'm not sure of your field of work but this might be an option. If this is possible go for it!!!!

[ongchart]

For those who are not aware, it is very difficult to marry a foreigner in Singapore, especially a Thai. Permission has to be granted by the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority before a Singaporean male can register his marriage with a Thai. If the Thai lady has worked in Singapore under work permit, chances of getting approval is very low. The male Singaporean also has to have a certain income level to even have a chance. No one knows how much that is as none of these policies are published. Thats how our government works when it comes to immigration matters.

Like someone mentioned, nursing is not one of the profession allowed for Thais, regardless of male or female. So even if the marriage is approved, OPs wife may end up being granted social visit passes with maximum 90 days stay.

Whilst I agree with the majority of advise for the OP to stay put and build up his finances, I can appreciate his concern over prolonging a long distance relationship.

My advise would be while hanging on to your current hob, to look into starting a business in Singapore, like online trading, or bring some products from Thailand to sell in Singapore, or importing products into Thailand from elsewhere. Build up the volume over a one year period to the level where consistently you are making THB40-60k net profit, by which time you can quit your job and move to Thailand. Of course this is easier said than done but believe me, if you put your heart into doing it, you can succeed.

Look for unique products like from OTOP. I have plenty of ideas so the OP can PM me and I will be glad to help. Don't worry - I am not into MLM or get rich quick scams.

[GoodWesternGuy]

I suggest you start now and learn how to sell information products online You can even outsource lots of the work to the Philippines.

I honestly believe a 'drovers dog' could learn how to make money online IF they are focused and disciplined [Two important character traits that most Singaporeans I have met seem to have by the bucketload]

That said - get her to Singapore. Money cannot buy you love but poverty can test the strongest of bonds. She will love Singapore. Good luck to you both.

Edited April 21, 2013 by GoodWesternGuy

[thaigold]

If you are a sales manager at a new car dealership, then you obviously earn a good living. Why don't you marry your Thai lady friend and take her to your own country? There you can care for her and give your children a good life. As a foreigner in Thailand, you have zero opportunities and absolutely will have nothing in your senior years.

I know that the desire to live full time in the Kingdom is seductive, but a Farang in LOS with no money is nothing. Take her home ...

[kiniyow]

What is the Big rush to get married since your ill prepared for this? Save some Money and plan it out more....It is a big step in both your lives so why rush it? If it is true love it can wait until your better prepared...

[Card]

Helping you wife on her own food stall would not be permitted and you would be doing in full public view. In ay case, the profits would probably be very small.

To be secure here, you need a fund behind you and an adequate income. Remember also that her family will probably expect a sinsot when you marry unless you forgo the traditional wedding.

Why not live with her in Singapore and work something out from there?

Good luck and I hope that you will bot be happy together.

I fully agree - no foreigner should try to make it in Thailand without a reasonably well-paying job or substantial savings. If your first language is English then you might want to try teaching English at a private school - it should pay enough. Otherwise try to get your bird into Singapore after marriage. Stress on income often leads to divorce or separation so make sure your home economy is right before proceeding.

[Mario2008]

1 post containing negative slur removed.

[cosmont]

What an idea to move to Thailand... you can marry your thai gf here and take her to Singapore. There she can find some job and a better future than in Thailand where is hard to find a job for a foreigner.

Now your relationship is good because you can support her, what will happen the day you don't have anymore income...

Just a point you should consider as an advise.

And one more thing, if you marry, I suggest you to make a prenuptial aggreement, this is very important...

Good luck

[cup-O-coffee]

Hello deredwine

I am really have to say that I believe that you are confused. When I read your posts, you sound more in "love" than in need of a visa, residency or work permit. Additionally, you are contemplating thoughts that I am certain will bring your world crashing down around your ears in a very short while; all simply due to your apparent obsessive rush to be with a woman that you give evidence of not being very "in touch" with even after three years. I say this respectfully and ask you to read on. I will be frank and truthful in my views and thoughts as well as respectful.

Point 1

When you say you do not have a lot of money saved up (nor your girlfriend), it sounds disingenuous when later you begin to contemplate getting into a million dollar contract to run a business. You do not even show awareness of the many hundreds of thousands of additional Bahts you would end up spending before you even saw one satang of profit.

This also grates upon my logic as originally you had contemplated simply running a roadside food stall or a small night market. The only analogy I can imagine is paying through the nose to live in Hell and not have one coin of salvation in your pocket once you pass under the arches.

Comment:

I'll state right here and now that the entire course of reading your OP and replies strongly suggests that you are the one doing all the work here, in addition to many hints that you have no idea what she wants, or that you are not letting her have any say in the matter, or that she is not putting any effort into these decisions which all seem to be based on the thin thread that you want to be with her.

Point 2

Regarding bringing her over to Singapore; You don't think that will work out very well for her as most of the time you will be out for work leaving her alone in the house, as she doesn't have enough qualification to get a job here. Then you cap it off with the comment that troubles will start to come.

Comment:

This does not sound like a two way relationship to me. It sounds like you are completely running the show and leaving her out of it, and she is letting you do it, or she is doing the Thai thing and not letting you know what's on her mind and failing to put her foot down when she should. Regardless, I can tell you that the troubles are already here and have begun to take root.

Additionally, what makes you think she does not have the qualifications? Have you tried to put her CV online, or have you scouted around? Have you spoken to family and friends about it? Forgive me, but it really sounds suspicious, all this work you are doing as if she is a piece of furniture that you are being solely responsible for, and evidence signs of mistrust in her abilities to have "life support" on her own if she comes to live with you. That is the trouble I am speaking about. If she can't take care of herself when you are away, or if you feel the need to dominate her, then your three years were wasted on sitting under the stars. How much do you know about this girl's character and constitution beyond the romantic times? What have you two been doing for three years, and has it been a long distance relationship? Have you ever brought her over to your country and introduced her to your lifestyle and your family and friends? What are their views on this matter?

Again; the troubles are already here, methinks, and pining away from the high levels of testosterone have clouded your views. Please forgive me, but read on:

Point 3

In one comment, you put your situation in a "rush" because the both of you (really?) plan to have a family of your own soon. You state that you are very much worried about complications if she gets pregnant at a later age.

Then you state after that that you are still standing still (hesitating perhaps?). You wrap that comment up with not wanting to rule out anything that might jeopardize your marriage.

Comment:

Regarding the unanswered questions in Point 2: Why the rush? Who is rushing? You? Her? What complications could a pregnancy bring about? Then you imply that there are things you have not thought of yet that could jeopardize the marriage. What marriage? What pregnancy?

Have you even given consideration to the needs of the unborn child? Is it possible you are getting way way ahead of yourself? And for what? Love?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deredwine, I am going to stop here and simply say that you need to put a full stop on all this nonsense before you really get in over your head. It sounds like you have a fairly decent life at the moment, but the information you are leaking out shows a considerable amount of ignorance about the responsibilities, duties and obligations which you do not describe yet will you be required to put forth on all accounts.

Additionally, you seem to be asking a lot and intending to do a lot in a very short amount of time (your words), yet you demonstrate absolutely zero due diligence towards your girlfriends welfare, any knowledge of her wants and needs, as well as the baby's welfare. The questions I asked throughout this response demand attention in order for anyone to provide sound and sensible answers that could even possibly begin to assist you in foregoing this (in my opinion) disastrous route.

In closing, I wish you all the best, but luck does not favor the ill-prepared, and in my respectful opinion, you really need to put some more effort in this. Sometimes love means being strong enough to delay your dreams until you can build the bridge to get there... and I don't see any girders, cables or towers.

C.O.C.

Edited April 21, 2013 by cup-O-coffee

[DRONGOH]

To be secure here, you need a fund behind you and an adequate income. Remember also that her family will probably expect a sinsot when you marry unless you forgo the traditional wedding.

Probably expect to give a sinsot?

That's something you can expect "MOST DEFINITELLY". It may even take all your savings.

[lopburi3]

One post and reply removed.

[vijer]

Stay in Singapore, and don't let the Thai GF nag you into moving to Thailand, you will be miserable.

[deredwine]

Hi C.O.C

i do agree with you on most pointers u have mentioned.

What im facing currently is she does not let me know what she really want/need most of the time.so in order for this relationship to work out,i had to think of possible ways that can work out best for both of our interest.its really one sided for this 'planning for the future thing' and its getting quite tedious on my side as im really not very knowlegeable about thailand.that's why im hoping to get more information/ideas through this forum to assist me in my plannings.

My objective is actually clear.

1) Being able to stay by her side most of the time

2) Able to have a shelter over our head

3) Able to provide basic needs for us and our children

im really lost now not because im desperate to be with her.its because i feel that age is catching up and if we really want to start up a family,we should do it within the next 2-3 years.

[LawrenceChee]

Heya OP

Like you I'm Singaporean and dating a Thai lady for seriousness. i would advise against setting up any business in Thailand unless you know the playing field well. The taxes, business laws here are not suitable for small enterprises and I advise against it unless you have a great business idea and know the area well.

as for the rest of the advice given, they are sound, you do need money to be happy in Singapore or Thailand or in any marriages.

Any lady irregardless of culture expect the man to be financially sound and especially in Thailand, you lose respect very fast if you expect your spouse and her family to pay for your expenses rather than the other way around. Unless she comes from a very progressive family, you are almost always expected to be reasonably generous in family expenses and the likes within the parameters of being reasonable. Anyone that suggest otherwise perhaps in all likelihood is not Asian and doesnt understand that well.

No one will go over the top if you are from a middle class family but they still have expectations. The inability to provide will gnaw away the foundations very quickly.

I too suggest saving enough as a family in Singapore before retiring to Thaland. I currently work 8 mths out of Thailand and stay 4 months there per year although I have been working towards spending more time here in Thailand.

Yes your wife can apply to be a nurse if she has an international practice cert and if she speaks good english it doubles the chance of employment. I suggest she secure an S pass first on a nursing job and then after you registered your marriage convert that as most officers interviewing like the fact they come first with a job and not tagging on you for rights to stay...I dont have to explain to you about this as you are Singaporean...it's a weird law but true !

If she cannot secure that, appeal to your MP for a long term social visit pass which has working rights. The recent changes to the LTSV passes means that there are 2 categories now.

work on it...true love is hard !

Cheerios

Lawrence

[ChanJoonYee]

Do yourself a huge favor. Stay in Singapore. You have a good job there. Unless you are very creative and can think of ways to make money on your own, it will be very hard to make it here. You can fly from Singapore to BKK in a couple of hours. Make your home there and visit here when you can. You can live here when you have a lot more money saved. Good luck.

Long distance relationships with Thais are seldom successful. I vote for taking your wife to Singapore.

I can't imagine what could happened to me if I had moved to Thailand instead of staying in Singapore.

[Docno]

MobileContent, on 21 Apr 2013 - 15:31, said:

Docno, on 21 Apr 2013 - 15:01, said:

A lot of you need to understand that it is not easy to bring a wife, especially a Thai wife, to Singapore. I have an American friend, a professional who's worked in Singapore for over 10 years ... he married (and had a child with) a Vietnamese lady, and she is still only able to come here on short-term stays (that he is sometimes able to renew). Singapore is not crazy about immigration from other SE Asian countries and the government worries about sham marriages and women using men to get into the country, So there are a lot of hurdles. And it's getting tougher since there's now a lot of anti-foreigner sentiment in Singapore. Also, even though she's a nurse, she may not be able to work in Singapore. Singapore has policies that restricts occupations to certain nationalities. For example, Thais are not permitted to be maids. There are a lot of Filipina nurses here, but I've never come across a Thai nurse and would expect they're excluded from this profession.

Your are correct but because your friend is from the States and not a Singaporean. Singaporean can bring a foreign wife easily into Singapore. I don't think Thai's are excluded as nurses. The problem is the limited spoken of English for Thai's.

Even Singapore citizens have this problem. There have been many cases of Singaporean men marrying foreign women and not being able to bring them into the country for anything other than short-term stays. This reflects government immigration policy--there's a lot of paranoia here now about the 'types' of foreigners coming in--and concern about marriages of convenience.

Edited April 27, 2013 by lopburi3
Invalid link to another forum removed along with quote

[MobileContent]

MobileContent, on 21 Apr 2013 - 15:31, said:

Docno, on 21 Apr 2013 - 15:01, said:

A lot of you need to understand that it is not easy to bring a wife, especially a Thai wife, to Singapore. I have an American friend, a professional who's worked in Singapore for over 10 years ... he married (and had a child with) a Vietnamese lady, and she is still only able to come here on short-term stays (that he is sometimes able to renew). Singapore is not crazy about immigration from other SE Asian countries and the government worries about sham marriages and women using men to get into the country, So there are a lot of hurdles. And it's getting tougher since there's now a lot of anti-foreigner sentiment in Singapore. Also, even though she's a nurse, she may not be able to work in Singapore. Singapore has policies that restricts occupations to certain nationalities. For example, Thais are not permitted to be maids. There are a lot of Filipina nurses here, but I've never come across a Thai nurse and would expect they're excluded from this profession.

Your are correct but because your friend is from the States and not a Singaporean. Singaporean can bring a foreign wife easily into Singapore. I don't think Thai's are excluded as nurses. The problem is the limited spoken of English for Thai's.

Even Singapore citizens have this problem. There have been many cases of Singaporean men marrying foreign women and not being able to bring them into the country for anything other than short-term stays. This reflects government immigration policy--there's a lot of paranoia here now about the 'types' of foreigners coming in--and concern about marriages of convenience.

If you point to PR yes you are correct but my business partner just last month took his Thai wife to Singapore and she now has a long stay visa of 1 year. I do have to say that she is a Doctor at a Thai hospital.

[deredwine]

things are never easy for long distance relationship unless one is loaded right?

so i have about 5 years of experince in sales and marketing in automotive line, and 3 years of experience in managing a sales and marketing team.what kind of job in thai can i try to apply to increase my chances of getting hired?