Thai Gf First Visit To Uk Refused - What Next?

[rgs2001uk]

sorry guys but garry is not going to take any advice from us if its not what he wants to hear he has already made his mind up,he feels that all my advice is negative,well garry after 30yrs.i do know a fair amount on the do's and donts.you dont seem to answer some very important points thats likely to be looked at,one important one is how many stamps do you have in your passport the eco will definately look at that.

"Been here 30 years" ... meatboy, how do my words/advices in post #166 stack up against your experiences?

Must admit, it's not directly related to the OP, but go issues which may assist Garry.

.

David, some of these girls are terribly naive, others are unworldy and uneducated, some are too quick to believe what other Thais tell them (usually BS), such as my husband gives my X per month, some of them are also emotionally immature, they maybe 25 but have a mental age of a teenager.

Wait until the first time she sees farangs digging roads and doing manual work, jobs many Thais consider beneath them in Thailand.

Next up English skills, I have talked to Thai girls in Thai down the pub, they are bored out their minds because they cant communicate, the girl cant communicate to the farang why she doesnt want to socialise with him and his friends, he ends up giving up his friends and soon the only friends he has are farangs married to Thais, this way the girl can talk Thai to other Thais, the farang ends up becoming nothing more than a taxi driver for his wife.

It may come as a shock to many, some of these girls cant even cook Thai food, they think you just walk out onto the street and buy it, some of these girls have never used a washing machine in their life, others think you will have a maid to do household chores.

Believe me you will need the patience of a saint.

I knew a guy who took a girl to the UK on a visit, she damn near bankrupted him, couldnt cook, would only eat Thai or Chinese takeaways twice a day, spent all day on the phone to the family whilst the guy was at work.

Etc etc.

English skills or lack of is the biggest problem

[rawhod]

sorry guys but garry is not going to take any advice from us if its not what he wants to hear he has already made his mind up,he feels that all my advice is negative,well garry after 30yrs.i do know a fair amount on the do's and donts.you dont seem to answer some very important points thats likely to be looked at,one important one is how many stamps do you have in your passport the eco will definately look at that.

"Been here 30 years" ... meatboy, how do my words/advices in post #166 stack up against your experiences?

Must admit, it's not directly related to the OP, but go issues which may assist Garry.

.

David, some of these girls are terribly naive, others are unworldy and uneducated, some are too quick to believe what other Thais tell them (usually BS), such as my husband gives my X per month, some of them are also emotionally immature, they maybe 25 but have a mental age of a teenager.

Wait until the first time she sees farangs digging roads and doing manual work, jobs many Thais consider beneath them in Thailand.

Next up English skills, I have talked to Thai girls in Thai down the pub, they are bored out their minds because they cant communicate, the girl cant communicate to the farang why she doesnt want to socialise with him and his friends, he ends up giving up his friends and soon the only friends he has are farangs married to Thais, this way the girl can talk Thai to other Thais, the farang ends up becoming nothing more than a taxi driver for his wife.

It may come as a shock to many, some of these girls cant even cook Thai food, they think you just walk out onto the street and buy it, some of these girls have never used a washing machine in their life, others think you will have a maid to do household chores.

Believe me you will need the patience of a saint.

I knew a guy who took a girl to the UK on a visit, she damn near bankrupted him, couldnt cook, would only eat Thai or Chinese takeaways twice a day, spent all day on the phone to the family whilst the guy was at work.

Etc etc.

English skills or lack of is the biggest problem

A fair post "rgs"...

I take back all that I first thought about you...lol

[GarryUK]

Garry, just to get my head around all of this, can you answer me these questions or try and summarize from were you started to where you are now on this what seems to be a long journey.

1. when was your first visit to Thailand and how long did you go for?

2. you say you got dumped on your second visit, Did you go to Thailand just to meet this person, like your meeting your GF i assume you met her on your first holiday?

3. You say you made a visit in October last year, how long did you go to Thailnd for, how many days you spend with your GF, I understand that you met her after you got dumped,

4. on your return to the UK, You decided to go back to Thailand (3rd visit) with the hope of getting a Visitors visa, did you apply once you got to Thailand? this will give more understanding on the refusal, Such a short romance.

5. You say that you went to were she lives, was this north east Thailand ? and was this planned before going to Thailand

6. I understand that you did a lot of walk in hotels, so before you landed in Thailand, you had very little in hotels booked

.

7. Your GF decided that it would be good to visit her parents, what was your thoughts on this and how was it once you got there, I am thinking about the culture change here!!! (my wife lives in a Village, totally different!!!

8. since you come home she now looks after her sisters daughter, Can i ask, where his her mother and who will look after her daughter if your GF gets the Visa.

9. whats your GF's thoughts if she does not get the next Visa, she must have a lot of doubts on if she will be coming or not.

10. have you thought about, what if she does not like the UK or maybe you and her don't get on and she wants to leave you or you want her to go, what would you do? Send her to her aunt until her departure date, Yes Garry, these are things you must think about.

11. You hear stories on Thai lady's, You will have heard them, we all have, Hand on heart, Do you really know the lady who your planning on marrying? I didn't after 7 months, is she really communicating with you from her home, As she a Thai boyfriend or husband, Believe me Garry, it happens.

12. You talk about your savings that you have for your marriage, But you have not taken into account the expense on the settlement visa, getting her a flight to the UK, your talking £2000, whats your plan, Get married with no plan on her coming back to the UK with you. My wife was back in the UK 5 weeks after we got married and its not a nice feeling saying good bye to someone in BKK airport who you have just married.

i do wish you the best of luck, Most people are saying take a step back and these people are people who care and yes you say that you have your head screwed on, But yet you have missed so much that i and others have pointed out to you. There is not a to do list, Its up to you to do the research, So little things likes showing a Credit card at the airport, I found out by checking and these are the things you should be doing.

Oooo such a long one You've muddled the timeline up a bit but all the information you've asked for has been addressed throughout the 3 threads. However, for clarification I'll answer here too.

1-3 Easier to answer in one go. I met a girl online (no need for more history than that), went to meet her in Thailand on Friday October 3rd 2012 but after a couple of days things didn't work out. Skipping a couple of days I met an English guy who introduced me to the now GF on Wednesday 10th (hence why I think it would be cool to marry on October 10th).

4. Got home and immediately started talking via FB video daily for many hours. We'd start at 6pm when I got home using the laptop while I cooked and eat, then switch to the desktop and stay online until 9 or 10pm. Decided I had to see her again so booked another 2 weeks off work to go back for a SECOND visit over Christmas and New Year.

5. Spent a few days in Pattaya, went to see her parents (one overnight stay), her father drove us back to Pattaya and took everything from her room back home bar the bed. We stayed another night or two, handed back the keys, stayed in a nearby hotel, then went to Bangkok for New Year. Yes the trip home was planned (see 7).

6. The first trip was a fully booked holiday, flight and rooms. The second trip we decided I'd stay in her apartment initially to save money, then move to a hotel when we handed back the keys. The only one we booked online was for the last few days in Bangkok, all the others we walked in to and asked if they had any rooms. For the third trip I booked the first hotel online for 3 nights, but in the end we decided to stay a fourth night but it was full so we just walked around to a nearby hotel and asked if they had a room. We again booked Cha Am online, but just telephoned the hotel we'd used in Pattaya, then again booked our return to Bangkok online.

7. If it was her idea I was in full agreement. Yes they live in the middle of nowhere in a hut. Her grandma offered accommodation but the GF knew I'd struggle with squat toilets and no aircon so made me stay in a hotel. In fact the thing I struggled most with was eating food shared with flies and ants.

Returning here to 4: I initially planned to go over for a THIRD visit during Songkran, and during that visit we planned to apply for a visa, but she decided she didn't care about the celebrations and wanted to apply sooner so told me not to bother coming so saving my money. However, when we started to put the application together we realised just how much work was involved so in the end I did go over for a third time, two weeks earlier than originally planned, to help her with the application process.

8. We decided in November in between my first and second trips that she should leave Pattaya after my visit in December (for obvious reasons), and she must have raised with her family the possibility of looking after her BROTHER's baby while he and his wife worked. They are currently also living with the parents and not currently working so the baby's mother will have to take responsibility.

9-10. If the visa is refused again we've already agreed she will go to work in a supermarket and we'll have to decide whether we still marry in October when I go for my FOURTH visit (it's important to me she experiences life together in the UK before we marry because yes, she might not like it, so I imagine we would postpone, probably for 12 months as I still like the idea of marrying on the anniversary of when we met, call me a romantic ). If she can't come to the UK I'll have to give serious thought as to whether I move to Thailand but she's against the idea, thinks I'd be giving up too much. If things went south in a bad way while she was here and we couldn't overcome the problems then I'd change the ticket and she'd go home early, she has no desire to stay with her aunt.

11. No doubt there's a lot to learn but yes, I have absolute trust in her. I'm not going to list all the reasons why I trust her, but some of them being I know she's at home because we video every day and I've been there and seen it, and even if she had time for a boyfriend she doesn't like Thai men and farang are in short supply where she is.

12. Without resorting to piling it on a credit card I have £9000 available, and my grandma left my mum a healthy inheritance last year which I'm sure would be available if I ran out and hadn't wasted my money. I'm trying very hard to be careful with it as when it's spent it's spent, but should I need it I have a lot of equity in the house as a last resort. We know it will take many weeks to get a decision on a settlement visa when we apply in October but will be hoping she'd be back for Christmas, and yes, having spent the best part of 5 months together both here and in Thailand, and having got married, we know it's going to be awful waiting.

I admit we missed plenty in our first application, but I refute that any of it was pointed out and I chose to ignore it, at least it wasn't done on purpose. Unfortunately I can't seek answers to questions I don't even know I need to ask, so all we can do is learn from any mistakes we might have made in that application, or that we'll go on to make. I believe we have learned from the first application, and we've gathered a tremendous amount of advice here which has helped us reach the decisions we're making now. Are they right? Who can tell, some think so, some don't, all we can do is choose a path and see where it leads. We've chosen that path now (which is to try a second application) and not everyone agrees with it, but for them to say "garry is not going to take any advice from us if its not what he wants to hear" and similar such comments is just insulting. If the visa is refused again I'll use a lot of the advice given by those in the "wait, don't reapply yet" camp, but just now I'm using that given by those in the "go for it" camp. Thanks to all whichever your opinion

[GarryUK]

sorry guys but garry is not going to take any advice from us if its not what he wants to hear he has already made his mind up,he feels that all my advice is negative,well garry after 30yrs.i do know a fair amount on the do's and donts.you dont seem to answer some very important points thats likely to be looked at,one important one is how many stamps do you have in your passport the eco will definately look at that.

"Been here 30 years" ... meatboy, how do my words/advices in post #166 stack up against your experiences?

Must admit, it's not directly related to the OP, but go issues which may assist Garry.

.

David, some of these girls are terribly naive, others are unworldy and uneducated, some are too quick to believe what other Thais tell them (usually BS), such as my husband gives my X per month, some of them are also emotionally immature, they maybe 25 but have a mental age of a teenager.

Wait until the first time she sees farangs digging roads and doing manual work, jobs many Thais consider beneath them in Thailand.

Next up English skills, I have talked to Thai girls in Thai down the pub, they are bored out their minds because they cant communicate, the girl cant communicate to the farang why she doesnt want to socialise with him and his friends, he ends up giving up his friends and soon the only friends he has are farangs married to Thais, this way the girl can talk Thai to other Thais, the farang ends up becoming nothing more than a taxi driver for his wife.

It may come as a shock to many, some of these girls cant even cook Thai food, they think you just walk out onto the street and buy it, some of these girls have never used a washing machine in their life, others think you will have a maid to do household chores.

Believe me you will need the patience of a saint.

I knew a guy who took a girl to the UK on a visit, she damn near bankrupted him, couldnt cook, would only eat Thai or Chinese takeaways twice a day, spent all day on the phone to the family whilst the guy was at work.

Etc etc.

English skills or lack of is the biggest problem

A fair post "rgs"...

I take back all that I first thought about you...lol

Agreed rawhod, I was about to reply when I saw you had, I think it's a perfectly reasoned post, but if I may

I've heard the stories of so and so gets 20k from her farang boyfriend but I'm only ever going to believe it if they show me their bank account. I'm stingy, she knows this, I give her enough.

Nothing wrong with a proper days work.

Her English is excellent, there's just the odd word I can't understand through the accent which winds her up terribly, and the odd word now and then she has to type in Thai for me to Google. I've even managed to teach her a few new words and phrases, like when I pointed out how we use the phrase "give me one" I think we were talking babies after she'd seen a cute photo posted on FB, so I thought it quite apt at the time She's far from being a snob but I don't think she has any desire to socialise with other Thais when in the UK. Me however, I think it's a great idea if you can find some nice ones, can't think I'd like anything more than to make a few new friends with other mixed couples.

I love to cook, so does she, she has to cook for her family while she's living at home, so there'll be no problem there. If she can't use a washing machine I can always send it to mum And in Thailand there are plenty of places do laundry.

[malct]

Thank you Garry for your reply, there is a lot to take in when reading this thread from start to finish, you see, i thought that you had only met your GF 2 times, but that's because i thought you had met the 1st lady on your first visit, so you can understand how i got it wrong.

I am pleased that you also seen how she lives in Thailand in a hut and maybe you can understand why Thai ladies seek western men, who wants to live in a hut when you can live in a house in the UK and have a better life.

Ok, You trust her, but just remember most Thai lady's goal is to meet western man and to take care of family, the husband comes 2nd in their life... If you remember back to Noi's story that i put a link to.

Best of Luck

Malc

[a99az]

I find it sick and degrading the way that Thai wife's of British subjects are treated by UK government when applying to join there husband in the UK. I would like to see greater respect for individual privacy. The should be no fee for visa, simplify the process and complete in under four weeks.

However they must remain together as husband and wife for a minimum period of time, say five years to qualify for permanent residency in the UK, unless the husband dies or children have been produced.

[malct]

Yes tell me about it, I have been thinking about the wife's IIR for the past 2 months or more and we don't apply to September and what if we fail!!! Husband and wife parted !!! and with the new rules that don't apply, really stinks.

[wooloomooloo]

Yes tell me about it, I have been thinking about the wife's IIR for the past 2 months or more and we don't apply to September and what if we fail!!!

It's not that bad, malct, and much easier than a settlement visa application. I'm sure you've familiarised yourself with the ILR application form and will have noted that it's definitely not as intense.

[GarryUK]

I find it sick and degrading the way that Thai wife's of British subjects are treated by UK government when applying to join there husband in the UK. I would like to see greater respect for individual privacy. The should be no fee for visa, simplify the process and complete in under four weeks.

However they must remain together as husband and wife for a minimum period of time, say five years to qualify for permanent residency in the UK, unless the husband dies or children have been produced.

I think 5 years is necessary now. Forgive me because I've not studied it so deeply yet, trying to get the first visit out of the way, but I'm pretty sure people have posted that you get a 30 month spouse visa, have to apply in the last 3 months for FLR (further leave to remain) giving another 30 months, and then again in the last 3 months of that one for ILR (indefinite leave to remain). Pretty sure there are tests and stuff to take at that stage, and of course there are fees to pay at every stage. Not sure what the situation would be if after children the father was to die before she is granted ILR, I fear she may not have an automatic right to stay even though the children would have.

Anyway, other than to say I agree you should need to stay together 5 years before they can stay (can we extend that to before they can screw you for half of everything too), it's off topic.

[7by7]

I find it sick and degrading the way that Thai wife's of British subjects are treated by UK government when applying to join there husband in the UK. I would like to see greater respect for individual privacy. The should be no fee for visa, simplify the process and complete in under four weeks.

However they must remain together as husband and wife for a minimum period of time, say five years to qualify for permanent residency in the UK, unless the husband dies or children have been produced.

Why sick and degrading?

More sick and degrading than the requirements for a non Thai husband living in Thailand with his Thai wife; such as 90 day reporting?

The Thai wife of a British citizen (we've not been called 'subjects' for many years) will have Indefinite Leave to Remain in the UK after 5 years residence, and British citizenship shortly after that. How long must the non Thai husband of a Thai woman live in Thailand before he gets PR, let alone citizenship? (Assuming it's even possible for him to do so.)

The exact same rules apply to any non EEA national partner of a British citizen or UK resident who wishes to live in the UK with their partner; whatever their nationality, from American to Zimbabwean.

Whilst the visa and LTR fees are way too high, way above cost according to the governments own figures, I fail to see why such should be funded by the UK taxpayer. I have no objections whatsoever to applicants/sponsor's paying a fair fee.

Garry, the initial settlement visa is valid for 33 months, but the immigrant husband, wife or partner only needs to have lived in the UK for 30 months before they can apply for FLR; this is to allow them time to settle their affairs in their home country and move to the UK once the visa has been issued.

The FLR will be valid for 30 months and at the end of this period they can apply for ILR; provided they have satisfied the knowledge of life and language in the UK requirement and meet the other criteria; not least being the financial one which is the same as for the initial visa, except for both FLR and ILR the immigrant partner's earnings can be used as well as their sponsor's.

See UK Settlement Visa Basics and the links from there for more.

But for you, that is in the future, is it not?

As for "before they can screw you for half of everything" I assume you mean if things go wrong and the relationship ends in divorce.

In the UK, division of assets and maintenance payments etc. upon divorce are decided by the court which grants the divorce. Many factors are taken into account; children, how much each party has contributed to the joint assets etc. The immigration status of one of the parties is not, however, a factor.

It may also be of interest to note that while the court may take into account the terms of any prenuptial agreement, such agreements are not enforceable in UK law.

If the divorce happens before the immigrant spouse has ILR then technically they would lose their right to remain in the UK.

Though if the divorce was due to them being the victim of domestic violence they could apply to remain in the UK.

If children are involved the immigrant parent may be able to apply to remain.

If the British/UK resident partner dies before the immigrant partner has ILR then they can apply to remain in the UK.

But that's all too complicated to go into detail here; so, back to the topic?

Edited May 6, 2013 by 7by7

[meatboy]

sorry guys but garry is not going to take any advice from us if its not what he wants to hear he has already made his mind up,he feels that all my advice is negative,well garry after 30yrs.i do know a fair amount on the do's and donts.you dont seem to answer some very important points thats likely to be looked at,one important one is how many stamps do you have in your passport the eco will definately look at that.

"Been here 30 years" ... meatboy, how do my words/advices in post #166 stack up against your experiences?

Must admit, it's not directly related to the OP, but go issues which may assist Garry.

.

David, some of these girls are terribly naive, others are unworldy and uneducated, some are too quick to believe what other Thais tell them (usually BS), such as my husband gives my X per month, some of them are also emotionally immature, they maybe 25 but have a mental age of a teenager.

Wait until the first time she sees farangs digging roads and doing manual work, jobs many Thais consider beneath them in Thailand.

Next up English skills, I have talked to Thai girls in Thai down the pub, they are bored out their minds because they cant communicate, the girl cant communicate to the farang why she doesnt want to socialise with him and his friends, he ends up giving up his friends and soon the only friends he has are farangs married to Thais, this way the girl can talk Thai to other Thais, the farang ends up becoming nothing more than a taxi driver for his wife.

It may come as a shock to many, some of these girls cant even cook Thai food, they think you just walk out onto the street and buy it, some of these girls have never used a washing machine in their life, others think you will have a maid to do household chores.

Believe me you will need the patience of a saint.

I knew a guy who took a girl to the UK on a visit, she damn near bankrupted him, couldnt cook, would only eat Thai or Chinese takeaways twice a day, spent all day on the phone to the family whilst the guy was at work.

Etc etc.

English skills or lack of is the biggest problem

what a good post,i have one absolutely georgous thai girl living by me[24yrs.old] never cooked,done any washing or ironing,anything to do with every day living,but she knows how to spend money so garry take note.

[meatboy]

sorry garry if you think i am insulting you i am trying to help you understand what you will exsperiance so please dont insult my intelligence on these matters.i can tell you stories even richard littejohn would say "you cant make it up" lets hope all goes well for you and you take on board whats been said positive or negative.there was a great topic started in the general forum you should read

MY GIRL FRIEND IS DIFFERENT.

[brewsterbudgen]

sorry garry if you think i am insulting you i am trying to help you understand what you will exsperiance so please dont insult my intelligence on these matters.i can tell you stories even richard littejohn would say "you cant make it up" lets hope all goes well for you and you take on board whats been said positive or negative.there was a great topic started in the general forum you should read

MY GIRL FRIEND IS DIFFERENT.

I wouldn't worry, Garry has the patient of a saint and is doing brilliantly answering all the questions, comments and "advice" he's receiving.

[NanLaew]

I read the first couple of pages when this was a 'fresh' post and haven't scoped all the significant contributions since. The OP states 4 items from the rejection notice, most of which seem to pick up on some inconsistencies in proof offered for communications with his partner and I assume casting doubts on the basic relationship. I haven't seen much mention of the primary show-stopper for most applicants which is the compelling reason for her to return to Thailand. Therefore, I reckon the OP should focus on the items that they have specifically red-flagged in the failed application but take steps to ensure the 'reason to return' rejection doesn't suddenly come up on the radar on the second application.

[rawhod]

I read the first couple of pages when this was a 'fresh' post and haven't scoped all the significant contributions since. The OP states 4 items from the rejection notice, most of which seem to pick up on some inconsistencies in proof offered for communications with his partner and I assume casting doubts on the basic relationship. I haven't seen much mention of the primary show-stopper for most applicants which is the compelling reason for her to return to Thailand. Therefore, I reckon the OP should focus on the items that they have specifically red-flagged in the failed application but take steps to ensure the 'reason to return' rejection doesn't suddenly come up on the radar on the second application.

You will find that the reason to return is covered in the "Paragraph 41" rejection which Garry referred to in his original post.

Quote from Immigration Rules Paragraph 41

"41. The requirements to be met by a person seeking leave to enter the United Kingdom as a general visitor are that he:

(i) is genuinely seeking entry as a general visitor for a limited period as stated by him, not exceeding 6 months or not exceeding 12 months in the case of a person seeking entry to accompany an academic visitor, provided in the latter case the visitor accompanying the academic visitor has entry clearance; and

(ii) intends to leave the United Kingdom at the end of the period of the visit as stated by him; and does not intend to live for extended periods in the United Kingdom through frequent or successive visits; and..."

Although Garry has not posted a copy of the rejection letter, he has not posted any particular reference to "Para 41(ii)".

Maybe you could clarify this point Garry...

[Arkady]

Seems not much more the ECO could have done but reject her application without more solid evidence of relationship and no compelling reasons to return to Thailand but, at least, he provides a detailed summary of his reaons. Just some general points.

Communication - why not send an old fashioned hand written letter to each other every week? Even email would do better than FB etc. I am sure you can figure out a way to talk by phone in a way that shows both of your phone numbers. Do this a few minutes 2 or 3 times a week.

Assets. Transfer at least Bt 200,000 to a bank account specially opened for the purpose and keep the passbook yourself. She can report the passbook as lost and get a new one, if she wants to drain the account, but that would tell you something about her priorities. After 6 months or so in the account the ECO would regard the money as a asset.

Money transfers. Transfer money monthly from your bank account to hers and keep the remittance receipts. Don't use Western Union which is a total rip off anyway.

Re land and house. Don't worry too much about this. Many Thais can show a title deed to a patch of dirt in or near a village and it won't carry much weight with the ECO, if that is all it is. On the other hand it doesn't make it much worse, if the house is not mentioned on the title deed, although this is rather peculiar, as it seems to suggest that the house was not registered with the Land Dept, perhaps because it never had planning permission. The ECO may also choose to ignore the title deed, if you don't provide a certified translation, even the Thai staff can explain it to him. They have limited time for each decision, so best not to make their job any harder. I would just get the title deed transferred into her name, as this can be done easily and cheaply between family members and translate the deed, as it shows willing to enhance her assets. Alternatively, buy some new property in her name.

This is going to take time but, if you have the money and the patience to deal with all the shortcomings raised by the ECO, you will get there.

Edited May 7, 2013 by Arkady

[Arkady]

sorry guys but garry is not going to take any advice from us if its not what he wants to hear he has already made his mind up,he feels that all my advice is negative,well garry after 30yrs.i do know a fair amount on the do's and donts.you dont seem to answer some very important points thats likely to be looked at,one important one is how many stamps do you have in your passport the eco will definately look at that.

"Been here 30 years" ... meatboy, how do my words/advices in post #166 stack up against your experiences?

Must admit, it's not directly related to the OP, but go issues which may assist Garry.

.

David, some of these girls are terribly naive, others are unworldy and uneducated, some are too quick to believe what other Thais tell them (usually BS), such as my husband gives my X per month, some of them are also emotionally immature, they maybe 25 but have a mental age of a teenager.

Wait until the first time she sees farangs digging roads and doing manual work, jobs many Thais consider beneath them in Thailand.

Next up English skills, I have talked to Thai girls in Thai down the pub, they are bored out their minds because they cant communicate, the girl cant communicate to the farang why she doesnt want to socialise with him and his friends, he ends up giving up his friends and soon the only friends he has are farangs married to Thais, this way the girl can talk Thai to other Thais, the farang ends up becoming nothing more than a taxi driver for his wife.

It may come as a shock to many, some of these girls cant even cook Thai food, they think you just walk out onto the street and buy it, some of these girls have never used a washing machine in their life, others think you will have a maid to do household chores.

Believe me you will need the patience of a saint.

I knew a guy who took a girl to the UK on a visit, she damn near bankrupted him, couldnt cook, would only eat Thai or Chinese takeaways twice a day, spent all day on the phone to the family whilst the guy was at work.

Etc etc.

English skills or lack of is the biggest problem

what a good post,i have one absolutely georgous thai girl living by me[24yrs.old] never cooked,done any washing or ironing,anything to do with every day living,but she knows how to spend money so garry take note.

Most of these girls come from Isaan and they don't eat Thai food at home, so who would teach them to cook it? Traditionally when there were many children the mother would keep one of her daughters at home to help with cooking and other household chores and send all the others out into the fields. So only one of them learned to cook as a child. The others had to figure it out foro themselves when they got their own families but what they ate was quite simple - just sticky rice and nam prik sauce for most meals and the occasional bit of meat, frog, snake, bug, vegetable or whatever they could catch. Nowadays the girls are packed off to work in factories in cities as teenagers. They live in dormitory accommodation without cooking facilities and live off food from plastic bags bought from street vendors. When they get families they do the same. They are referred to as "mae baan thung plastic" or plastic bag house wives.

[GarryUK]

Well, this is it, the end is near...

Just waiting for my most recent bank statement to arrive. Have to finish the new sponsors letter and print out the pictures, then get it all sent off to her. Thanks for all the input, both those "for" us reapplying, and those "against", I'm sure what was said by the latter will give us something to think about should we be refused again, but of course let's hope all the extra documentation addresses the ECO's concerns that the relationship isn't genuine (by showing them it is) and that they grant her a visa.

Had a reply from AXA insurance, they'll only cover her for the first 90 days as suspected, so just have to keep an eye on her email to see what LMG Pacific quote as I know they'll do up to 180 days. If I have a response back in time I'll be including the quote with the supporting documentation to show she won't need to rely on the NHS should she need medical treatment whilst here. I'll also be including flight quotes to show possible outbound and return flights she could book. And I think in my letter I'll mention that both return trips to Thailand have been to go back to see her, but that whilst we stayed together in those hotels, I only have booking confirmation emails (which I'll include) for some which are in my name only as I paid using my card.

Good luck to us both (damn, where's the fingers crossed smiley when you need one)

[David48]

Had a reply from AXA insurance, they'll only cover her for the first 90 days as suspected, so just have to keep an eye on her email to see what LMG Pacific quote as I know they'll do up to 180 days.

Garry, I can't remember, but if she is successful with the Visa Application, how long does she plan to stay in the UK on her first Visa?

.

[malct]

Garry, you did say that your GF gets very nervous (read your comment on a different thread), try and think how she will cope when going through immigration, My wife was bad enough during the questions, how will she be on her own at immagration with the questions

on that subject, how do you think it looks, your girlfriends first flight on a plane, Never been through the process of transferring in massive airports, how will it look with the CEO knowing that you care for your girlfriend enough to go through that ordeal on her own.

i decided, i could not let my then GF go through that experience, Just think, you book her emirates landing at the old terminal and her connecting plane leaves at the new terminal, all the signs are in Arabic and English, No one around who can speak Thai. i could not put someone who i care for through that experience, I am not saying that you don't care and i know that you have your budget, But its something to think about.

Malc

[malct]

Most of these girls come from Isaan and they don't eat Thai food at home, so who would teach them to cook it? Traditionally when there were many children the mother would keep one of her daughters at home to help with cooking and other household chores and send all the others out into the fields. So only one of them learned to cook as a child. The others had to figure it out foro themselves when they got their own families but what they ate was quite simple - just sticky rice and nam prik sauce for most meals and the occasional bit of meat, frog, snake, bug, vegetable or whatever they could catch. Nowadays the girls are packed off to work in factories in cities as teenagers. They live in dormitory accommodation without cooking facilities and live off food from plastic bags bought from street vendors. When they get families they do the same. They are referred to as "mae baan thung plastic" or plastic bag house wives.

. My wife is the opposite, shes one of those who can cook, even her own western style food, Sliced rump steak for instance, can use all mod cons, even better than me, washing machines, TV's, cookers, the lot apart from her laptop where she has no interest. Tooth paste on the brush, my clothes on the end of the bed, growing all kinds in the garden, speaks OK English, socialises with locals and friends, Her biggest fault is, talking to her Thai friends, yap yap yap in Thai all the time on the phone, it can get to much at times and yes, I now have many new male friends, yes husbands of the Thai wife's. Regarding the post above, Yes, Many Thai ladies chasing the dream of lots of money, big house with Maids, good holidays, but it's never like that and its the same for us who would love to live in Thailand and live the dream and i believe it would be worse for us not able to own our home, not able to work and maybe to the point that your ruled by the family. I am lucky, i have a good Family, but i don't think i could live on there door step..

My wife's education was not good, she had to help her dad in the rubber plantation when her other 2 sisters went to school, but one think i will give her, she has educated herself in reading writing and she is a far better writer than i will ever be.

Malc .

[meatboy]

Well, this is it, the end is near...

Just waiting for my most recent bank statement to arrive. Have to finish the new sponsors letter and print out the pictures, then get it all sent off to her. Thanks for all the input, both those "for" us reapplying, and those "against", I'm sure what was said by the latter will give us something to think about should we be refused again, but of course let's hope all the extra documentation addresses the ECO's concerns that the relationship isn't genuine (by showing them it is) and that they grant her a visa.

Had a reply from AXA insurance, they'll only cover her for the first 90 days as suspected, so just have to keep an eye on her email to see what LMG Pacific quote as I know they'll do up to 180 days. If I have a response back in time I'll be including the quote with the supporting documentation to show she won't need to rely on the NHS should she need medical treatment whilst here. I'll also be including flight quotes to show possible outbound and return flights she could book. And I think in my letter I'll mention that both return trips to Thailand have been to go back to see her, but that whilst we stayed together in those hotels, I only have booking confirmation emails (which I'll include) for some which are in my name only as I paid using my card.

Good luck to us both (damn, where's the fingers crossed smiley when you need one)

oh well garry this could be it or it could be the final curtain,if your succesfull you can say meatboy you had better have another 30yrs

as you know f-all,wish i could but it would take me past the point of no return,anyway your not going to get any sleep till you get the decision you want so good luck to you both.where in the uk.do you live.meatboy.ps.see you in lol