Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[Johnniey]

What was the OP insulted with, his wife being taken for a prossie or him being taken for a monger?

[mancub]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

correct

Incorrect.

An assumption is an assumption. Only facts are correct.

Wrong .

An assumption can be also be correct ( or incorrect ) . A correct assumption is ,by it's very nature, a fact .

[Anon999]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

Suggest you speak for yourself and the low life Thai males you associate with.

[brewsterbudgen]

My across the street neighbor said she was force into Patpong as a teenager and an orphan. I am not from Phillipines I am from India. I have been here for a few months (travelling around the world) and I don't claim to be an expert on anything 'Thai'

Every bar girl i have met claims to be poor and yet has the latest iphone along with ipad.

They make good money why not have fancy expensive tools:-)

Because

1. Poor people do not have fancy tools

2. They supposedly do it to support the family, surely have better use for 50k

3. Since they forced as you claim, funny they would need fancy tools

The whole point is that by working in a bar they will no longer be poor and will be able to afford the latest gadgets and support their family.

[Anon999]

ALL Thai girls married to 'foreigners' are 'working girls'. Sorry to break the illusion but its not that difficult to understand.

Finally, the ultimate TV xenophobe.

This is pure, blatant racism at it's finest.

Sonchai. Yes they're working girls Doctors, Dr Dentists, Bank Managers and many other professional career women. Obviously not the sort that would mix with the likes of you.

Edited May 4, 2013 by Anon999

[lemoncake]

The whole point is that by working in a bar they will no longer be poor and will be able to afford the latest gadgets and support their family.

and yet they still stay poor and retire when daughter is old enough to replace them. So i guess they are not forced

[JaiLai]

To the OP - yes they do!

[brewsterbudgen]

The whole point is that by working in a bar they will no longer be poor and will be able to afford the latest gadgets and support their family.

and yet they still stay poor and retire when daughter is old enough to replace them. So i guess they are not forced

I don't believe anyone is claiming that Thai bargirls are forced to do what they do.

Edited May 4, 2013 by brewsterbudgen

[lemoncake]

The whole point is that by working in a bar they will no longer be poor and will be able to afford the latest gadgets and support their family.

and yet they still stay poor and retire when daughter is old enough to replace them. So i guess they are not forced

I don't believe anyone is claiming that Thai bargirls are forced to do what they do.

You would be wrong,go back a page or so and you will see Edited May 4, 2013 by lemoncake

[Anon999]

My take on this thread is that yes, most tourists do probably assume that westerner's Thai wives may have been prostitutes. I find it ironic that this is what captures their imagination; they'd be way more shocked if they knew what normal Thai women were like. Many, many Thai women don't expect to have to work, they expect maids to take care of their home and their children, then they expect to spend their days shopping and playing online games designed for prepubescent school kids. I'm not saying ex-bar girls don't do this, but as a percentage of women it's the least of things to worry about.

And who do you see when visiting a hospital as they are largely staffed by female doctors, consultants, surgeons, etc? All these "many many" you talk about are a small percentage of Thai wives represented by the very wealthy in reality.

[rayongchelsea]

Depends who you are,what you do, where you live, where she is from, what she wears, how she behaves, colour of skin, way they talk, education..

Don't come here at a late age, have a girlfriend with a big age difference, she is from isaan, you are retired..the probabilities are very high..and everyone will assume, in almost all cases the assumption will be correct.

There is no way within normal circumstances and social circles they would ever meet!!

Go down thonglor, young farang guys, decent jobs,pretty girls educated abroad, roughly the same age difference as abroad no one would have the same assumptions..

As in the west, most people meet through work or through acquaintances.

I don't object to bgs but I do object to how course they are and the trouble they invariably cause, they know what people are thinking especially the Thais, then they over compensate..farangs in this aspect are much better than Thais....

I get the impression here that most do not speak Thai as they would be more in tune with what effect being with an old western man has on the girl.

Lastly, married to a farang, not working, probably maid in the house, children from a previous marriage =bg..she has to have some status and payback..invariably lazy..

It has become somewhat of a conveyor belt.

As for the people saying, who cares, what does it matter..of course it matters you can't live in isolation ( ok, the farang does clearly)..the girl cares, the children of the marriage will be impacted, the way she is treated in restaurants, hotels etc..unless you live in pattaya or Phuket..it is viewed as not a respectable thing..so there is a big impact on them..being both perceived as a whore and with an old man..ain't easy..

They are prostitutes and it should be acknowledged that is what they are..don't compare to normal working Thais, it's just not a good comparison and it is an unfair one on the latter.It is a job for the lazy, the uneducated, those whose opportunities are limited, the greedy..

If you don't invariably it leads to the first steps in self deception ..she different..we've all heard that one!!

It's a game of probabilities, but some are just so obviously bg or ex bg..it defies common sense that someone might think otherwise.

It is very rude to ask...but that's the stupid older farang that comes here these days..

There was an article in the sun newspaper very early 90's, buy a thai bride from 25 pence..so it's been around a long time..supported by the media looking for a story..back then most people wouldn't even have known where Thailand was however.

[chiang mai]

Depends who you are,what you do, where you live, where she is from, what she wears, how she behaves, colour of skin, way they talk, education..

Don't come here at a late age, have a girlfriend with a big age difference, she is from isaan, you are retired..the probabilities are very high..and everyone will assume, in almost all cases the assumption will be correct.

There is no way within normal circumstances and social circles they would ever meet!!

Go down thonglor, young farang guys, decent jobs,pretty girls educated abroad, roughly the same age difference as abroad no one would have the same assumptions..

As in the west, most people meet through work or through acquaintances.

I don't object to bgs but I do object to how course they are and the trouble they invariably cause, they know what people are thinking especially the Thais, then they over compensate..farangs in this aspect are much better than Thais....

I get the impression here that most do not speak Thai as they would be more in tune with what effect being with an old western man has on the girl.

Lastly, married to a farang, not working, probably maid in the house, children from a previous marriage =bg..she has to have some status and payback..invariably lazy..

It has become somewhat of a conveyor belt.

As for the people saying, who cares, what does it matter..of course it matters you can't live in isolation ( ok, the farang does clearly)..the girl cares, the children of the marriage will be impacted, the way she is treated in restaurants, hotels etc..unless you live in pattaya or Phuket..it is viewed as not a respectable thing..so there is a big impact on them..being both perceived as a whore and with an old man..ain't easy..

They are prostitutes and it should be acknowledged that is what they are..don't compare to normal working Thais, it's just not a good comparison and it is an unfair one on the latter.It is a job for the lazy, the uneducated, those whose opportunities are limited, the greedy..

If you don't invariably it leads to the first steps in self deception ..she different..we've all heard that one!!

It's a game of probabilities, but some are just so obviously bg or ex bg..it defies common sense that someone might think otherwise.

It is very rude to ask...but that's the stupid older farang that comes here these days..

There was an article in the sun newspaper very early 90's, buy a thai bride from 25 pence..so it's been around a long time..supported by the media looking for a story..back then most people wouldn't even have known where Thailand was however.

So you're a Sun reader, enuf said!

[StreetCowboy]

Depends who you are,what you do, where you live, where she is from, what she wears, how she behaves, colour of skin, way they talk, education..

Don't come here at a late age, have a girlfriend with a big age difference, she is from isaan, you are retired..the probabilities are very high..and everyone will assume, in almost all cases the assumption will be correct.

There is no way within normal circumstances and social circles they would ever meet!!

Go down thonglor, young farang guys, decent jobs,pretty girls educated abroad, roughly the same age difference as abroad no one would have the same assumptions..

As in the west, most people meet through work or through acquaintances.

I don't object to bgs but I do object to how course they are and the trouble they invariably cause, they know what people are thinking especially the Thais, then they over compensate..farangs in this aspect are much better than Thais....

I get the impression here that most do not speak Thai as they would be more in tune with what effect being with an old western man has on the girl.

Lastly, married to a farang, not working, probably maid in the house, children from a previous marriage =bg..she has to have some status and payback..invariably lazy..

It has become somewhat of a conveyor belt.

As for the people saying, who cares, what does it matter..of course it matters you can't live in isolation ( ok, the farang does clearly)..the girl cares, the children of the marriage will be impacted, the way she is treated in restaurants, hotels etc..unless you live in pattaya or Phuket..it is viewed as not a respectable thing..so there is a big impact on them..being both perceived as a whore and with an old man..ain't easy..

They are prostitutes and it should be acknowledged that is what they are..don't compare to normal working Thais, it's just not a good comparison and it is an unfair one on the latter.It is a job for the lazy, the uneducated, those whose opportunities are limited, the greedy..

If you don't invariably it leads to the first steps in self deception ..she different..we've all heard that one!!

It's a game of probabilities, but some are just so obviously bg or ex bg..it defies common sense that someone might think otherwise.

It is very rude to ask...but that's the stupid older farang that comes here these days..

There was an article in the sun newspaper very early 90's, buy a thai bride from 25 pence..so it's been around a long time..supported by the media looking for a story..back then most people wouldn't even have known where Thailand was however.

So you're a Sun reader, enuf said!

I'm impressed you could be bothered reading all the way to the end.

You must be very patient.

Personally, what I find most objectionable about bargirls is the generalisations and stereotypes that they engender.

EDIT: So far, we've had tourists, bargirls, Thai women, girls from Esaan, sexpats, , fat bald blokes, and now Sun Readers!

SC

Edited May 4, 2013 by StreetCowboy

[chiang mai]

Depends who you are,what you do, where you live, where she is from, what she wears, how she behaves, colour of skin, way they talk, education..

Don't come here at a late age, have a girlfriend with a big age difference, she is from isaan, you are retired..the probabilities are very high..and everyone will assume, in almost all cases the assumption will be correct.

There is no way within normal circumstances and social circles they would ever meet!!

Go down thonglor, young farang guys, decent jobs,pretty girls educated abroad, roughly the same age difference as abroad no one would have the same assumptions..

As in the west, most people meet through work or through acquaintances.

I don't object to bgs but I do object to how course they are and the trouble they invariably cause, they know what people are thinking especially the Thais, then they over compensate..farangs in this aspect are much better than Thais....

I get the impression here that most do not speak Thai as they would be more in tune with what effect being with an old western man has on the girl.

Lastly, married to a farang, not working, probably maid in the house, children from a previous marriage =bg..she has to have some status and payback..invariably lazy..

It has become somewhat of a conveyor belt.

As for the people saying, who cares, what does it matter..of course it matters you can't live in isolation ( ok, the farang does clearly)..the girl cares, the children of the marriage will be impacted, the way she is treated in restaurants, hotels etc..unless you live in pattaya or Phuket..it is viewed as not a respectable thing..so there is a big impact on them..being both perceived as a whore and with an old man..ain't easy..

They are prostitutes and it should be acknowledged that is what they are..don't compare to normal working Thais, it's just not a good comparison and it is an unfair one on the latter.It is a job for the lazy, the uneducated, those whose opportunities are limited, the greedy..

If you don't invariably it leads to the first steps in self deception ..she different..we've all heard that one!!

It's a game of probabilities, but some are just so obviously bg or ex bg..it defies common sense that someone might think otherwise.

It is very rude to ask...but that's the stupid older farang that comes here these days..

There was an article in the sun newspaper very early 90's, buy a thai bride from 25 pence..so it's been around a long time..supported by the media looking for a story..back then most people wouldn't even have known where Thailand was however.

So you're a Sun reader, enuf said!

I'm impressed you could be bothered reading all the way to the end.

You must be very patient.

Personally, what I find most objectionable about bargirls is the generalisations and stereotypes that they engender.

EDIT: So far, we've had tourists, bargirls, Thai women, girls from Esaan, sexpats, , fat bald blokes, and now Sun Readers!

SC

You can't tell people any differently, that's what they want to believe because they haven't been here long enough to understand it and aren't smart enough to work it all out for themsleves hence they take the easy answer. Anyway, there's a strong likelihood that a majority of the above posts are from disguised mongers, excuse me, did you really say Chelsea and Rayong, I mean really, who's fooling who!

[lonelyrw]

What an "idiot"! I do hope that he live the country and go together with some of his friends on the farmfield, to have one of!

Thailand do not need "Farrangs" like him. I he can not swim, better he go to deep wather.

[Pops]

Not only tourists thinking that, but also most Thais !!

[Baerboxer]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long

as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an

unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

So if you went to the US or UK, maybe China or Japan as a tourist, met a stranger, got talking, had a couple of drinks, you would ask him if his wife was a former prostitute would you. In your opinion a reasonable question???

Go to Glasgow as a tourist and try it our in any pub or bar. Good luck with your research.

[JaiLai]

My take on this thread is that yes, most tourists do probably assume that westerner's Thai wives may have been prostitutes. I find it ironic that this is what captures their imagination; they'd be way more shocked if they knew what normal Thai women were like. Many, many Thai women don't expect to have to work, they expect maids to take care of their home and their children, then they expect to spend their days shopping and playing online games designed for prepubescent school kids. I'm not saying ex-bar girls don't do this, but as a percentage of women it's the least of things to worry about.

And who do you see when visiting a hospital as they are largely staffed by female doctors, consultants, surgeons, etc? All these "many many" you talk about are a small percentage of Thai wives represented by the very wealthy in reality.

And what % of these female doctors / consultants / surgeons etc marry farangs - not many i bet!

[Baerboxer]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

correct

Incorrect.

An assumption is an assumption. Only facts are correct.

Wrong .

An assumption can be also be correct ( or incorrect ) . A correct assumption is ,by it's very nature, a fact .

but needs to be researched and proven before it becomes a fact

[Baerboxer]

Are TV posters that dim to think thats its only the uneducated ones who turn tricks/work in bars ? and here we have TV finest accusing tourists of being ignorant and prejudiced

Unfortunately, I think they are.

It's amazing how many times I run across people that think ALL ex-bar-girls will eventually rip you off and that "respectable" girls won't.

I just smile and change the subject.

If someone implied my wife was an ex prostitute, or had the balls to ask it outright my drink would be thrown in their face, followed closely by the glass; regardless of consequences. I'm sure if I asked Thais or indeed other nationalities the same question in their home country I would get similar responses.

The sex industry has become massive, globally. Bar girls, massage parlours, on-line escorts, free lancers wandering around etc etc. Many girls work in other countries for higher salaries, do-it part time to fund education or whatever, and of course some do it out of financial necessity. I wouldn't dream of judging or condeming them. However, I would not marry a former sex worker, regardless of nationality.

Asain wives, in my expeirience, put a lot more thought into thinking about their potential husband's future behaviour, ability to provide, suitablity to be a father etc than do Western females. This is part of their culture in trying to ensure a good husband, for life, and strengthen the family. Many see older partners as more stable, less likely to be unfaithful and more reliable.

I know a few people who married ex Thai sex workers. 20% have changed and are good faithful wives. The other 80% chase men, get boozed up, spend a lot of time gambling, and some subsidise their income with their old activities. All lied about the number of previous clients and lenght of time they worked, and most had several farang boyfriends on the go, usually going for the wealthiest. The ones who married Thai ladies who did not come from the sex worker background did not have the same issues. The odds are that someone from that background is more likely to rip you off than someone from a respectable background. Having said that, I know a few "resepctable" Western ladies who have made a career out of marriage and divorce.

[brewsterbudgen]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long

as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an

unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

So if you went to the US or UK, maybe China or Japan as a tourist, met a stranger, got talking, had a couple of drinks, you would ask him if his wife was a former prostitute would you. In your opinion a reasonable question???

Go to Glasgow as a tourist and try it our in any pub or bar. Good luck with your research.

No it wouldn't be a reasonable question in Scotland, as I doubt it happens very often. But in Thailand it's very common, so not an unreasonable question.

[StreetCowboy]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long

as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an

unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

So if you went to the US or UK, maybe China or Japan as a tourist, met a stranger, got talking, had a couple of drinks, you would ask him if his wife was a former prostitute would you. In your opinion a reasonable question???

Go to Glasgow as a tourist and try it our in any pub or bar. Good luck with your research.

No it wouldn't be a reasonable question in Scotland, as I doubt it happens very often. But in Thailand it's very common, so not an unreasonable question.

If I went to a bar in Scotland, I wouldn't ask a random stranger if they were Protestant or Catholic, and I wouldn't ask if they supported Celtic or if they supported Rangers. Not because I think that any of those are unlikely, but because I would rather not upset people, and if I was genuinely interested, I could work my way round to the question in a polite manner without causing offence or provoking violence. I expect tourists in this country to behave with the same minimal tact and discretion.

SC

[brewsterbudgen]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long

as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an

unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

So if you went to the US or UK, maybe China or Japan as a tourist, met a stranger, got talking, had a couple of drinks, you would ask him if his wife was a former prostitute would you. In your opinion a reasonable question???

Go to Glasgow as a tourist and try it our in any pub or bar. Good luck with your research.

No it wouldn't be a reasonable question in Scotland, as I doubt it happens very often. But in Thailand it's very common, so not an unreasonable question.

If I went to a bar in Scotland, I wouldn't ask a random stranger if they were Protestant or Catholic, and I wouldn't ask if they supported Celtic or if they supported Rangers. Not because I think that any of those are unlikely, but because I would rather not upset people, and if I was genuinely interested, I could work my way round to the question in a polite manner without causing offence or provoking violence. I expect tourists in this country to behave with the same minimal tact and discretion.

SC

You have unreasonably high expectations!

[F4UCorsair]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long

as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an

unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

So if you went to the US or UK, maybe China or Japan as a tourist, met a stranger, got talking, had a couple of drinks, you would ask him if his wife was a former prostitute would you. In your opinion a reasonable question???

Go to Glasgow as a tourist and try it our in any pub or bar. Good luck with your research.

No it wouldn't be a reasonable question in Scotland, as I doubt it happens very often. But in Thailand it's very common, so not an unreasonable question.

Exactly brewster!!

[geraldtx]

After reading all of these comments I have some comments of my own. First everyone is assuming that bar girls are unintelligent low lifes that can do nothing other than serving drinks and screwing the customers. This is a total falsehood. I have met some very intelligent bar girls with great personalities. All women are not required to go to a university to gain intelligence. I am married to an ex bar girl and she is one of the smartest women I have ever met.

Do not make assumptions merely based on a woman's background.

[somtampet]

I have had some great experiences with tourist guides,female of course,but i wouldnt dream of asking someone who married one,if he thinks she has been having sex with her customers

[AdamRich]

By definition you are a prostitute if you have sex with anyone for money. It doesn't matter if it's one person or one-thousand.

Define prostitute. Is that were a women sleeps with a man for money? So after 20 years of marriage if the woman gets half a million dollar settlement does that make her a whore? Or is this term used only when its a cash transaction on the night?

Of course it doesn't make her a prostitute - prostitution is a job and involves sleeping with many men.

But if you sleep with one man for half a million then they arent? Just seems its a question of price and race. Google Rose Hancock who was a Filipina maid to a billionare Australian named Lang Hancock. It didnt take her long to jump in his bed. Interesting story. The general public all thought she was a whore. If she wasnt asian then it might have been a different opinion

No, I'd sleep with one man for half a million and I'm not a prostitute.

I carried someone's golf clubs in 1981 for 18 holes, Does this make me a caddie?

If it's a business or practice then yes, but a one off.

You were a caddie if only for that one day. Or did others who saw you carrying that person's golf clubs that day have another title to address you by?

[lemoncake]

After reading all of these comments I have some comments of my own. First everyone is assuming that bar girls are unintelligent low lifes that can do nothing other than serving drinks and screwing the customers. This is a total falsehood. I have met some very intelligent bar girls with great personalities. All women are not required to go to a university to gain intelligence. I am married to an ex bar girl and she is one of the smartest women I have ever met.

Do not make assumptions merely based on a woman's background.

Your is different

[laislica]

It must be true that very many people have the same opinion as the tourist.

Look, page 15 <deleted> and still going strong!!

Who gives a damn what others thing - that is their business.

I think the tourist must have been drunk to ask such a stupid question though.

I mean, questioning a man's wife like that is likely to be met with a good thumping for laying out such an insult.

Great that the OP walked away and left it at that.

As has been mentioned, in Glasgow you could be risking your life just asking about sport!

[IMA_FARANG]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different. Fair enough but please be honest about it.

-----------------

When I worked in Saudi Arabia in the 1980's I had an American friend who was in his 60's then.

His wife was Thai and she was about 25 years old.

Just about everyone assumed she was a bargirl who married him for his money.

I happen to know the true story.

When my friend was sent by the company he worked for to Thailand he was about 50 at that time.

He ran their office in Bangkok for about 5 years before they brought him back to take over a contract they had obtained in Saudi Arabia.

The Thai woman he married was in fact, his secretary when he met her, and because he spoke only limited Thai she basically ran his office,

She was in fact a very smart Thai woman and had graduated from a Thai business college with a business degree, During his years in Thailand she went back to that same Thai business school as a part time student and while still working as his secretary she earned a MBA degree.

He retired in his early 60's and bought a condo, a rather expensive one, in Bangkok where he lived with his Thai wife.

She invested his money and at one time she owned two office buildings in Bangkok.

He passed away peacefully about 1995 or so, and left much of his wealth to her.

She became the CEO of a Thai company and on her own became quite wealthy.

She left Thailand and moved her company to Hong Kong where as far as I know she still is living.

She was a very smart Thai woman, and as I said never was a bargirl like many people assumed.