Taking Your Woman For Granted........?

[Jayroo]

That's crossing the line, what a lazy prick! I would never treat my girlfriend like a slave.

[Jayroo]

."I couldn't stay another day in a house with somebody who treats their woman like that."

No man owns a woman, my friend.

OMG!!! you didn't just say that! so in your miserable world you're constantly correcting people or friends (assuming you have any) when they say "oh I'm waiting for my girlfriend" or "my wife", "my friend" etc!?

[kennedy]

I want to keep this topic going. I notice there are members that will post comments on almost anything, and won't touch this with a barge poll. It's obvious to me why they are missing in action.

[Jayroo]

Oh dear, another White Knight in defense of all the "suppressed women" in the world.

Ever thought about, that the guy may do much more for his woman than getting a beer from the fridge?

Think of it this way, hypothetically speaking, you're in a working environment, just say you're the boss, would you call your employee if he or she was on another level to hand you a fax or pen that was within 5 metres of your reach? NO you wouldn't, even though you could since you're the boss and they are being paid to do what you say. It's just disrespectful, despicable, rude, stupid, there are so many things wrong with treating people like this, and even worse to do it to someone you supposedly love.

[Theoutsider]

Is your friend Fred Flintstone.

If the wife is next to the fridge I will ask "can I have a can pls"

Likewise when I'm next to the fridge Ishe will ask "can I have a top- up pls"

When we are having a laugh we ask each other " bi#$h where's my drink.

[transam]

Oh dear, another White Knight in defense of all the "suppressed women" in the world.

Ever thought about, that the guy may do much more for his woman than getting a beer from the fridge?

Think of it this way, hypothetically speaking, you're in a working environment, just say you're the boss, would you call your employee if he or she was on another level to hand you a fax or pen that was within 5 metres of your reach? NO you wouldn't, even though you could since you're the boss and they are being paid to do what you say. It's just disrespectful, despicable, rude, stupid, there are so many things wrong with treating people like this, and even worse to do it to someone you supposedly love.

I think that many do it cos in their previous farang life they couldn't do it or even try with their ex farang lady , sooooooooo here they try it on and wallow in their new ''hi - so'' position.

[petertucker48]

."I couldn't stay another day in a house with somebody who treats their woman like that."

No man owns a woman, my friend.

Spot on.

[laislica]

QUOTE Transom:

OP I am with you on this one, me, seen it time and time again, total disrespect for their partner cos they ''think'' they are better cos giving the lady a better life. Total crap, why are these farangs here with someone they think is below them ?.

My wife has been taught that she does NOT wait on me, particularly in public. We are equal and always will be. Folk who marry for a servant are, eeeeeeeeeeeer, sad people. End Quote

(The quote thing didn't work correctly)

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread but I felt I must respond.

I do see your point Transam BUT!!!

It's no one else's business but theirs. Thank goodness we are not all the same virtues of goodness.

Whilst I also behave rather like you in that I hope to be almost as equal as my wife (she is Thai LOL), I would not presume to make a judgement in such a public way.

Stomping out of the house after a day? A tantrum no less?

As someone else has already posted, the OP's action may have created a problem that wasn't there before.

I think a "Proper Gentleman" would have had a quiet word with his friend and left it at that.

I do hope that Karma doesn't inflict such behaviour on the OP where some future eccentric behaviour is so roundly condemned and so publicly. I wonder how the OP would react?

Edited May 10, 2013 by laislica

[SteeleJoe]

."I couldn't stay another day in a house with somebody who treats their woman like that."

No man owns a woman, my friend.

Spot on.

Indeed, no one does. That is "spot on". If I may paraphrase from an earlier poster, is it OK if I refer to "my wife" or "my kids"?

Perhaps I should not indicate ownership in such a way and from now on refer to them respectively as "the woman to whom I am married" and the "the fully free and unowned offspring I produced together with the equally important and respected woman whose womb they came from". Or something...I'll work on it.

Of course, when speaking of my friends partners, I'll have to stop using "their" as well...I'd better start figuring this out right now.

[shaggy1969]

I think that some of the posters have seen the movie ' The King and I ' and maybe think that is how things work in Thailand.

I am having visions of them laying around their home clapping their hands together and saying Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

[JulesMad]

OP, I am with you as well!

IMO, (real) love is based on trust, honesty and respect. To ensure the 'never-ending' love, GOOD communication is a very strong requirement.

Treat women (ALL women!) with respect, and you'll be surprised what you get back in return. Maybe that is why most women think I am jai dee. I am, but not all the time I would not even treat a servant the way your friend treats his wife. It has nothing to do with Thai culture (I love been taken care of in every possible way), but this is (mental) abuse.

BTW, did you know that 70% of ALL the problems in the world is due to MIScommunication?!? In the domestic domain as well as in the world politics. Different languages, different cultures only add to miscommunication. Even when having the same language and same culture and background, how many problems are due to MIS-understandings?!?

[SteeleJoe]

BTW, did you know that 70% of ALL the problems in the world is due to MIScommunication?!? In the domestic domain as well as in the world politics.

Did you know that it is 98.9% impossible to provide a reliable source for that statistic as such a thing would be 99.6% impossible to ascertain?!

[laislica]

Who knows,

well the OP didn't ask the parties their views But,

maybe the wife would have slapped him silly for doing her job?

I also wonder if the "friend" is a TV member too and if so, would he recognise this thread as being about him?

(Oh I hope so - come on - have a rant)

Personally, I am waited on hand and foot, I'm only allowed to help if I'm asked!

My wife goes into the nearby city and does shopping alone and comes back laden with prezzies for me - I can't stand it! Why can't she be like my previous Farang women, money grubbing, greedy, grasping, vain, lazy, individuals? At least I knew where I stood then!

(Help - I think she is trying to KILL me - with kindness)

The house work, the kitchen, the gardening, shopping - although I am now allowed to carry stuff in my huge rucksack - all her domain.

Huh, OK so when something breaks or doesn't work as expected, I may get a chance "to have a look at it", but we have so many family members living nearby, someone else seems to get there first.

They even conspire to save me the bother of going to immigration for the 90 day reports!

A family member works there and it's all done, I just have to sign something or other.

I am also sooo sick of being taken out on family outings to temples, floating markets, places of interest and beauty, wonderful waterfalls, birthday parties, weddings (funerals too) etc.

Why can't they let me sit at home and get drunk alone?

Thai women - a terrible lot and that's for sure!

[laislica]

BTW, did you know that 70% of ALL the problems in the world is due to MIScommunication?!? In the domestic domain as well as in the world politics.

Did you know that it is 98.9% impossible to provide a reliable source for that statistic as such a thing would be 99.6% impossible to ascertain?!

Do you know that I think that you could be 100% right in that?

[Morden]

OP, I am with you as well!

IMO, (real) love is based on trust, honesty and respect. To ensure the 'never-ending' love, GOOD communication is a very strong requirement.

Treat women (ALL women!) with respect, and you'll be surprised what you get back in return. Maybe that is why most women think I am jai dee. I am, but not all the time I would not even treat a servant the way your friend treats his wife. It has nothing to do with Thai culture (I love been taken care of in every possible way), but this is (mental) abuse.

BTW, did you know that 70% of ALL the problems in the world is due to MIScommunication?!? In the domestic domain as well as in the world politics. Different languages, different cultures only add to miscommunication. Even when having the same language and same culture and background, how many problems are due to MIS-understandings?!?

'Love' is at the root of many of these dysfunctional relationships. The foreigner is attracted by lust at first and then, not understanding the basis of a healthy relationship, looks for an easy life, justified by the fact that he has spent some money for the benefit of his wife or girlfriend.

To 'mis-communication' I would add the rejection of any idea that the foreigner should find out how things work here in homes and families. We don't have to accept it all but understanding helps us to find a solution to a problem.

[rcalsop]

I have seen similar behaviour and often it is a" face "thing from the man to be done when visitors are around showing Mr Macho .. however I have found that usually the woman has the real control and the reality is the guy is totally "pu**y whipped and under control in ways I would not except , I certainly do not behave in that way I get my young son to get the beers , pour my drinks .. but that will have to change as he is starting to be a large rugby playing teenager and will soon be able to whip my butt I recon another 12 months left ... so any body got a small mini bar fridge that I can place as a side table near my chair ..

[blazes]

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

I just didn't like the way he treated his wife.She's more of a slave than a wife.I wasn't going to get into an argument with him about it.I just told them that work called and had to head home.

You don't make it clear why you were there in the first place. But certainly you missed an opportunity to tell your mate what a total $hit he was/is, and if one night his missis cuts off his youknowwhat when he is snoring away after ten beers, then no one should be too surprised.....

[laislica]

OP, I am with you as well!

IMO, (real) love is based on trust, honesty and respect. To ensure the 'never-ending' love, GOOD communication is a very strong requirement.

Treat women (ALL women!) with respect, and you'll be surprised what you get back in return. Maybe that is why most women think I am jai dee. I am, but not all the time I would not even treat a servant the way your friend treats his wife. It has nothing to do with Thai culture (I love been taken care of in every possible way), but this is (mental) abuse.

BTW, did you know that 70% of ALL the problems in the world is due to MIScommunication?!? In the domestic domain as well as in the world politics. Different languages, different cultures only add to miscommunication. Even when having the same language and same culture and background, how many problems are due to MIS-understandings?!?

'Love' is at the root of many of these dysfunctional relationships. The foreigner is attracted by lust at first and then, not understanding the basis of a healthy relationship, looks for an easy life, justified by the fact that he has spent some money for the benefit of his wife or girlfriend.

To 'mis-communication' I would add the rejection of any idea that the foreigner should find out how things work here in homes and families. We don't have to accept it all but understanding helps us to find a solution to a problem.

How many more times must I say:

Thailand Fever - get it - read it - learn.

Can't find it? www.thilandfever.com

For the seamy side of Thailand a free book by stephen leather Private Dancer - google it, there's a free pdf.

[kevvy]

OP I am with you on this one, me, seen it time and time again, total disrespect for their partner cos they ''think'' they are better cos giving the lady a better life. Total crap, why are these farangs here with someone they think is below them ?.

My wife has been taught that she does NOT wait on me, particularly in public. We are equal and always will be. Folk who marry for a servant are, eeeeeeeeeeeer, sad people.

if we ever meet i will get you a beer from the fridge , well said mate

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I do not "impose" upon my daughters to argue with me, or anyone else. I encourage them to stand up for their rights and demand fair treatment while treating others fairly themselves. In what kind of twisted logic could this be construed as a bad thing, detrimental to their futures?

Equality is not a "western standard." It is a universal standard. Where it doesn't exist, it should, and it will, because that is where civilization is rightly headed.

T

Assuming they are going to live and be educated in Thailand.

Forcing your western standards on your daughters will make them unable to operate in Thai society.

They will also have problems in school (probably penalised and marked down by Thai teachers), and will be totally unsuited to work for any Thai employer.

Questioning authority and thinking for yourself are not attributes desired or tolerated in most Thai workplaces.

I have made no judgements on the correctness or morality of the situation, merely that it exists in Thailand and those that don't 'fit in' are often totally excluded from participation.

Edited May 10, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[blazes]

Oh dear, another White Knight in defense of all the "suppressed women" in the world.

Ever thought about, that the guy may do much more for his woman than getting a beer from the fridge?

Where were you educated? Nowhere? ok, you are forgiven for your totally ignorant remark.

[blazes]

In all seriousness though, if the wife was busy or in another part of the house, I would never shout and ask her to do something like get the beers out of the fridge. May have something to do with the way I was brought up.

No, it's more to do with the way this ignorant sod was brought up....

[laislica]

Oh dear, another White Knight in defense of all the "suppressed women" in the world.

Ever thought about, that the guy may do much more for his woman than getting a beer from the fridge?

Where were you educated? Nowhere? ok, you are forgiven for your totally ignorant remark.

May I suggest, politely, that you have another read at the post you just commented on?

Some Thai Ladies like to show their support for their provider.

As I posted before, some can kill with kindness.

The real point here is that the OP never had the decency to ASK!

So we shall never really know for sure what their relationship is about.

[senor123]

Ha ha, so much angst about another couple's relationship.

So many perfect guys on here.

Once you get involved in someone else's relationship you are headed for trouble.

Just make sure your relationship is working and keep your nose out of someone else's.

My missus pours my beers, cooks my meals, serves me first. Not something I asked for she just told me that that is the way it is done. She carries the bags as she told me the other women in the village would look down on her if she didn't as I am an old man .

I just recently taught her how to change a tyre although I will loosen the wheel nuts as she doesn't have enough strength to do that.

On the other hand, she is quite pleased with the new house I helped pay for in the village plus the mortgage that I helped her pay off in BKK.

By the way, I also took care of my kids and made sure they had a good education after my falang missus took off with one of our mutual married friends she had been porking because she felt no-one loved her.

Let he who is without sin and all that sort of stuff

[laislica]

Ha ha, so much angst about another couple's relationship.

So many perfect guys on here.

Once you get involved in someone else's relationship you are headed for trouble.

Just make sure your relationship is working and keep your nose out of someone else's.

My missus pours my beers, cooks my meals, serves me first. Not something I asked for she just told me that that is the way it is done. She carries the bags as she told me the other women in the village would look down on her if she didn't as I am an old man .

I just recently taught her how to change a tyre although I will loosen the wheel nuts as she doesn't have enough strength to do that.

On the other hand, she is quite pleased with the new house I helped pay for in the village plus the mortgage that I helped her pay off in BKK.

By the way, I also took care of my kids and made sure they had a good education after my falang missus took off with one of our mutual married friends she had been porking because she felt no-one loved her.

Let he who is without sin and all that sort of stuff

I take my hat off to an honest post and extend my thanks.

One man's meat is another's poison.

Good luck to you and yours - you have in a nutshell, described my relationship here in the LoS.

[Phronesis]

Is this your friend?

[forumuser10]

Does the wife work full time? Is she responsible for all income in the family?

If she is, then the guy should go get his own beer.

If he provides all the income, she should also provide something...

[SteeleJoe]

I do not "impose" upon my daughters to argue with me, or anyone else. I encourage them to stand up for their rights and demand fair treatment while treating others fairly themselves. In what kind of twisted logic could this be construed as a bad thing, detrimental to their futures?

Equality is not a "western standard." It is a universal standard. Where it doesn't exist, it should, and it will, because that is where civilization is rightly headed.

T

Assuming they are going to live and be educated in Thailand.

Forcing your western standards on your daughters will make them unable to operate in Thai society.

They will also have problems in school (probably penalised and marked down by Thai teachers), and will be totally unsuited to work for any Thai employer.

Questioning authority and thinking for yourself are not attributes desired or tolerated in most Thai workplaces.

I have made no judgements on the correctness or morality of the situation, merely that it exists in Thailand and those that don't 'fit in' are often totally excluded from participation.

I previously expressed admiration for Thakkar's post - both for the way it was written and the principles it conveyed (and how it reflected on him as a person). I stand by that completely.

However, you are not entirely wrong here. What you speak of is known by many Thais and Foreigners to often be demonstrated by Thai students of International schools and the occasional half Thai/ half western offspring. I am NOT a cultural relativist - can't stand them - and do believe that not only should we all have certain principles that are inviolable but that there even a few universal moral truths. Having said that, it is foolish and counterproductive to ignore cultural differences entirely or fail to acknowledge how disregarding them can impact one's experience in a given country and acceptance in that society.

Yet, I think (and as a father of two, I HOPE) that there is a middle ground between your position and Thakkar's. I think it is difficult and imperfect - like parenting always is - but you can teach your kids to be independent thinkers, have self respect, take no BS from people ( most of the time - after all, who hasn't taken some from a boss, teacher, et al?) while still making sure they can observe, for the most part, the sort of things that are necessary on the surface to be seen as a polite and proper Thai.

AND, as Thakkar has pointed out, the world changes all the time and Thailand no less - and often more - than anywhere else. There are LOTS of young women who observe very few of the norms that were once absolutely mandatory to be accepted, who are very successful - and sought after as spouses and daughters in law. That will only become increasingly so.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

AND, as Thakkar has pointed out, the world changes all the time and Thailand no less - and often more - than anywhere else. There are LOTS of young women who observe very few of the norms that were once absolutely mandatory to be accepted, who are very successful - and sought after as spouses and daughters in law. That will only become increasingly so.

True, but I wouldn't be all that keen for any children I had to be working as prostitutes in bars.

(Can't think of anywhere else a Thai lady can trash all social norms and be successful, maybe you can help me on this one)

[SteeleJoe]

AND, as Thakkar has pointed out, the world changes all the time and Thailand no less - and often more - than anywhere else. There are LOTS of young women who observe very few of the norms that were once absolutely mandatory to be accepted, who are very successful - and sought after as spouses and daughters in law. That will only become increasingly so.

True, but I wouldn't be all that keen for any children I had to be working as prostitutes in bars.

(Can't think of anywhere else a Thai lady can trash all social norms and be successful, maybe you can help me on this one)

<deleted>? Are you deliberately misinterpreting my post and putting the ugliest possible spin on it, or is your worldview genuinely that limited?

I see I shouldn't have bothered addressing that last one to you. Carry on.