Last weekend I went to visit an old farang friend out in the sticks.We were sitting at the table having a few beers when he called his wife downstairs.When she came down he said " get us a few beers out of the fridge".The damn thing was only 5 feet away but he still got his wife to do it .She got the beers out and put them on the table and went back upstairs.I've seen this type of thing before,but I was pretty disgusted about his behaviour.I asked him about it and he said "that's what she's here for".When them beers were gone,I got up to go to the fridge and he went a bit mental,called his wife down and told her to get the beer out of the fridge.Needless to say,the next day I packed up and left.Was supposed to stay for 3 days,but only stayed one night.I couldn't stay another day in a house with somebody who treats their woman like that. ​

I do my fair share of things around the house.I don't sit there waiting to be waited on hand and foot.If I want something to eat or drink,I get it myself.My woman does a lot for me but some things are just easier to do myself.So this brings me to my question.

How many of you out there are the type that expects everything to be done for you.The type that thinks that your woman is only there to look after you ?.I'm curious if anybody would own up to it ?

"Crickets"

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

Edited May 9, 201313 yr by yoslim

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

I just didn't like the way he treated his wife.She's more of a slave than a wife.I wasn't going to get into an argument with him about it.I just told them that work called and had to head home.

Did the OP's experience occur in Thailand?

JT- I think we need another Poll.

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

+5

If the wife is not complaining ,why should an outsider be? It's not like the friend beating up on the wife or something.

She probably cost him a packet,in Sin Sot.

He wants his monies worth.

It seems odd to ask your partner to come downstairs, or into the room, to get you a beer from the fridge when you are a metre or two away from it.

Personally, I never ask my GF to get me my cider. I have always done it and I'd feel odd having someone do it for me. If she is already at the fridge, sure.

With regard to your friend. It is really up to him and his wife/GF how they do things.

What was your friends reaction to you telling him the reason you were leaving early?

Don’t get so worked up and upset about it, just because their relationship is not similar as yours.

The arrangement seems to work for both of them, that’s all it matters. Seems he’s getting something and she’s too getting something out of this arrangement. I’m sure…if it’s not ok with her, she would probably leave him by now.

And from my many observations, NOT too many farangs come to Thailand and want an equal partner.

I hate to have everything done for me. Makes me lazy.

."I couldn't stay another day in a house with somebody who treats their woman like that."

No man owns a woman, my friend.

Defo a rude thing to ask anyone to come down unless got paid for it... However she also responsible for this behaviour by letting it happening. We dont know what kind of business deal between the couple, maybe she got salary to do only that

If she is being paid a monthly salary as many of them are then damn right she should earn it, if she is not i find it very hard to

believe she would put up with that kind of behaviour. My wife gets no salary from me so i don't ask for these kinds of things.

If she demanded a monthly salary she would then be an employee and yes treated exactly the same as your friend did.

After 20 years, I still often have to tell my wife to let me do something myself. I try to make sure I do enough for her, in particular I do a majority of the child care when I'm home and deliberately go to some effort to make sure she gets a break as often as possible (and Thai family and neighbors think I'm a much nicer guy than I am, as a result), but at the end of the day she looks after me more than I do her as it's just her nature, and what she likes to do (she's the same with friends, neighbors and family). Plus, as she points out, I work a LOT of hours and bring in most of the money - so there is a division of labor that is fairly equitable.

I think it is human nature to take the ones we love for granted if we don't consciously work at not doing so; I do my best to see that I don't and I let her know on a regular basis how lucky I think I am.

As for your friend and his wife; I can't say he seems a very admirable fellow nor anyone I'd want to hang around but it's actually paternalistic and uncomplimentary to view his wife as a helpless victim: she is apparently a willing participant in that arrangement for whatever reason.

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

Yup, the O/P has a " serious issue" . Time to grow some skin O/P

Did the OP's experience occur in Thailand?

Yes

What was your friends reaction to you telling him the reason you were leaving early?

He just accepted it.I didn't tell him I was leaving because of the way he treats his wife.Just told him that I had to work.

It seems odd to ask your partner to come downstairs, or into the room, to get you a beer from the fridge when you are a metre or two away from it.

Personally, I never ask my GF to get me my cider. I have always done it and I'd feel odd having someone do it for me. If she is already at the fridge, sure.

With regard to your friend. It is really up to him and his wife/GF how they do things.

Maybe I see things wrong,but I just found it absurd that he couldn't just turn around and open the fridge door and take out a couple of beers.My other half treats me with love and respect,so I give her love and respect in return.What my mate did,was (in my eyes) show little respect for his wife.If you want to be waited on all the time,get yourself a maid.

I know it his marriage and he does things his way,but when his wife put the beers on the table,it wasn't with a nice smile or anything.She didn't even say a word.Just took the beers out,put them on the table and went back upstairs.

I have to tell my wife to stop buying and bringing me beers from the fridge

Yeah mine types these messages. And if there's any spelling mistakes look out...

OP I am with you on this one, me, seen it time and time again, total disrespect for their partner cos they ''think'' they are better cos giving the lady a better life. Total crap, why are these farangs here with someone they think is below them ?.

My wife has been taught that she does NOT wait on me, particularly in public. We are equal and always will be. Folk who marry for a servant are, eeeeeeeeeeeer, sad people.

What was your friends reaction to you telling him the reason you were leaving early?

He just accepted it.I didn't tell him I was leaving because of the way he treats his wife.Just told him that I had to work.

Maybe if you told him the real reason for you leaving he would have been able to give you the reasons for him treating his

wife the way he did.

Instead you lied to him so you could leave early and then post on an open internet forum about his behavior, my opinion for

what it's worth is you are no better than him, you are supposed to be a friend and you do this he is better off without you.

Edited May 9, 201313 yr by Keith67

I do what I want when she wants..................

Probably not the best arrangement in the eyes of many, but it proves to be the safest....................

In the early days, the only thing scarier than the meat cleaver travelling end over end towards me from the kitchen, was the wife running after it............

Oh dear, another White Knight in defense of all the "suppressed women" in the world.

Ever thought about, that the guy may do much more for his woman than getting a beer from the fridge?

Maybe he will buy her an extra case of beer for Mothers Day. Then she can better serve him.

In all seriousness though, if the wife was busy or in another part of the house, I would never shout and ask her to do something like get the beers out of the fridge. May have something to do with the way I was brought up.

seen this before, during war in Ubon. I was just not raised like this, had a x friend like this. Soon we were not friends. Today I sm sick can not get up and down so good. I still will not mistreat my love. This man does not deserve his wife/friend anymore!

seen this before, during war in Ubon. I was just not raised like this, had a x friend like this. Soon we were not friends. Today I sm sick can not get up and down so good. I still will not mistreat my love. This man does not deserve his wife/friend anymore!

Kudos!

Sorry for your troubles. (And thank you for your service.)

What was your friends reaction to you telling him the reason you were leaving early?

He just accepted it.I didn't tell him I was leaving because of the way he treats his wife.Just told him that I had to work.

Maybe if you told him the real reason for you leaving he would have been able to give you the reasons for him treating his

wife the way he did.

Instead you lied to him so you could leave early and then post on an open internet forum about his behavior, my opinion for

what it's worth is you are no better than him, you are supposed to be a friend and you do this he is better off without you.

I'm not just talking about my friend.I've seen other farangs do the same thing.I know thai men don't exactly treat their women well,but I expected more from the farang men.

You're right about me lying to leave.I shouldn't of done it.I'm recovering from depression and one of the things I learnt in therapy was to speak my mind.I'm sorry now that I didn't.I suppose this is why I brought it up here.It's been bugging me and I'm looking for answers.