So my boyfriend who is Buddhist, can speak English quite well but he has trouble explaining this one to me: Why can't underwear hang above your head (when drying)? This must be a Buddhist thing cause Burmese Buddhist that I know have the same rule( all I got from them was something about a women's period). There is a clothes line in the back of my boyfriend's familie's house and it is just easier to walk under in order to get from one end of the yard to the next. I tried that one day and was almost tackled by his sister. There was nothing on the line but as my bf explained there may have been underwear at one time or the other and that it has something to do with a women's period but thats all the info I can get. Any idea???

It's a high-low issue. Underwear, like shoes and feet is a "low" thing that shouldn't be above anyone's head (a "high" thing). High-low issues are somewhat ignored in sports and sex though.

Are you wearing a buddhist amulet as well? That can make a big difference.

I made the mistake of walking slightly close to the top of my husbands head once whilst he was laying on the floor watching tele. I got a lecture on the whole, top of the head/feet thing & is basically as others have said. The top pf the head is the most sacred part of the body & feet, underwear etc are unclean. Stepping over people is also bad.

I made the mistake of walking slightly close to the top of my husbands head once whilst he was laying on the floor watching tele. I got a lecture on the whole, top of the head/feet thing & is basically as others have said. The top pf the head is the most sacred part of the body & feet, underwear etc are unclean. Stepping over people is also bad.

- as is sitting on a cushion that is meant for the head (as a pillow).

So my boyfriend who is Buddhist, can speak English quite well but he has trouble explaining this one to me: Why can't underwear hang above your head (when drying)? This must be a Buddhist thing cause Burmese Buddhist that I know have the same rule( all I got from them was something about a women's period). There is a clothes line in the back of my boyfriend's familie's house and it is just easier to walk under in order to get from one end of the yard to the next. I tried that one day and was almost tackled by his sister. There was nothing on the line but as my bf explained there may have been underwear at one time or the other and that it has something to do with a women's period but thats all the info I can get. Any idea???

The belief about women's undergarments, etc. as an issue is not Buddhist, but a Thai belief system. From what I can gather, it has something to do with how women's undergarments are associated with the blood from menstruation and that is believed to be a destroyer of the mystical power that men seek to protect their bodies when in a fight or war. Nowadays, most men do not fight or go to war, but most still think that they still have that belief. Also, as in any of these believes, women tend to uphold them even more rigorously than some men themselves. As for not hanging underwear above the head, that comes from combining the two issues together, I think.....

although as heng put it, the high low thing seems to disappear when doing acrobatics in the bed

I made the mistake of walking slightly close to the top of my husbands head once whilst he was laying on the floor watching tele. I got a lecture on the whole, top of the head/feet thing & is basically as others have said. The top pf the head is the most sacred part of the body & feet, underwear etc are unclean. Stepping over people is also bad.

i've had similar lectures Boo!

stepping over people is bad, equally bad is stepping over fishing rods (and if you've ever been to a thai fishing park its a difficult task along the bank ofthe lake trying to aviod the occassional hop over a fishing rod!)

i've also been in trouble for washing socks in the same load as anything else, although i have managed to make him see the impracticality (sp?) of this. can't hang your jocks above the other clothes on the line.... again all about the high/low thing....

i also get told regularly to stop using my 'farang hands', ie my feet when i use them to switch off the fan, move an object etc...

So my boyfriend who is Buddhist, can speak English quite well but he has trouble explaining this one to me: Why can't underwear hang above your head (when drying)? This must be a Buddhist thing cause Burmese Buddhist that I know have the same rule( all I got from them was something about a women's period). There is a clothes line in the back of my boyfriend's familie's house and it is just easier to walk under in order to get from one end of the yard to the next. I tried that one day and was almost tackled by his sister. There was nothing on the line but as my bf explained there may have been underwear at one time or the other and that it has something to do with a women's period but thats all the info I can get. Any idea???

The belief about women's undergarments, etc. as an issue is not Buddhist, but a Thai belief system. From what I can gather, it has something to do with how women's undergarments are associated with the blood from menstruation and that is believed to be a destroyer of the mystical power that men seek to protect their bodies when in a fight or war. Nowadays, most men do not fight or go to war, but most still think that they still have that belief. Also, as in any of these believes, women tend to uphold them even more rigorously than some men themselves. As for not hanging underwear above the head, that comes from combining the two issues together, I think.....

Yes this is what I was thinking, I know that after we were in the tsunami he went and got covered in buddhist tattoos done by a monk that were to protect him and keep him safe. One of the rules that goes along with having these tattoos is that if a women has her period she can not stradle the bearer of the tattoo ( other rules include not being able to eat bamboo). So I figured it had something to do with the powers of menstration. I just think there is a difference between thinking menstration is dirty, and menstation is powerful. So I'm just trying to sort out which one is more in the Thai belief system but maybe it is a combination of the two?

Edited March 25, 200620 yr by meme

One person's comments on the subject: http://katswindow.net/index.php?p=70

Well, I guess it depends on the person, too because my husband doesn't have so many rules about the laundry! Just so long as its clean he doesn't really care how it gets done. Neither do I see either of our staff following such restrictions with their own laundry (seperate socks? )

I think alot of it must be old superstition and if your partner is superstitious then these rules will be strictly followed.

My husband has never said a word about stepping over fishing rods (and he is an avid fisherman, fished his entire life), but only about sitting on a pillow and using feet to pick things up.

He has no problem giving me a foot massage when my feet are killing me, and hasn't really made a fuss about the laundry line strung behind the house either. I knew a girl whose boyfriend wouldn't let her hang their undies outside but again, my husband doesn't really care.

So, it seems to vary from person to person, really.

My gf always tells me off about the feet on pillows etc,

Once she went off her brain when i farted on the pillow and i was thinking dammmmm woman whats the big deal.

I guess im starting to understand

I never heard about the fishing rods either & all our laundry goes in together, I never saw his mum or aunt seperating anything out either!.

I did know of one farang girl who did her bf's laundry by hand (why would you in samui at 30b per kilo ) she was rinsing out his jeans in a tub & using her feet to help squeeze out the water, the bf saw her doing it & they nearly broke up because of it. Apart from the fact that it costs nothing to get someone else to do your laundry or washing machines are 4k baht for a basic, I figured if he wanted his jeans done to the rules of his beleifs he should have been doing it himself.

I get bollocked all the time though for using my feet to do things, like open or close low cupboard doors, pointing with them to show something etc but he has no problem with me putting my feet on him when we are sitting watching tv or something.

The pillow thing isn't a problem either.

I never heard about the fishing rods either & all our laundry goes in together, I never saw his mum or aunt seperating anything out either!.

I did know of one farang girl who did her bf's laundry by hand (why would you in samui at 30b per kilo ) she was rinsing out his jeans in a tub & using her feet to help squeeze out the water, the bf saw her doing it & they nearly broke up because of it. Apart from the fact that it costs nothing to get someone else to do your laundry or washing machines are 4k baht for a basic, I figured if he wanted his jeans done to the rules of his beleifs he should have been doing it himself.

I get bollocked all the time though for using my feet to do things, like open or close low cupboard doors, pointing with them to show something etc but he has no problem with me putting my feet on him when we are sitting watching tv or something.

The pillow thing isn't a problem either.

When My bf and I started living together we had someone who did our laundry by hand so we washed our own underwear and bf let it be known what a big thing it was that he washed my underwear b/c he knows none of his friends would ever wash women's underwear. Later we switched to a laudry place where they did it in the machine so apperently we could then give our unerwear to be washed. The first time we came to pick it up the woman who worked there asked if it was OK to put my clean underwear in the same bag as my bfs clothes.

The feet thing isnt an issue for him but I did accidently try to step over him once without thinking about it. That was a big deal.

I think the laundry rules loosened up quite a bit with the advent of washing machines. However, the local laundry services (at least where I live) find underwear offensive and it is polite not too include it but rather wash it yourself.

regarding the effect of women's underwear on men -- I was told by a former Thai partner that being below a woman's underwear will cause a man to become impotent, which he phrased as "lose power". Would explain why such a strong reaction even in present times.....Mens greatest fear!!

Foot-pointing and using the foot to do anything other than walking -- just cannot do, even among the most progressive Thais. I've learned to internalize this rule except for still liking to rest my feet up when I sit down, but I'm careful not to do so around company.

It is really hard not to do the foot pointing thing. When he isn't around I do it but sometimes when he's around I forget & he makes a funny grrrr noise . I just laugh & say sorry & carry on. We are married, he's seen the most intimate parts of me, if he can't get over an occasional foot point then there is a serious problem IMO. In thai company, I really make the effort to remember but just me & him? Only if I think about it.

I also never included the undies in the laundry & did it by hand until i bought a machine but the laundry lady did tell me that i could include them if I wanted, so I suppose is the same with most things, some are bothered, some aren't

Really hard to know the rules when there is no consistancy!

One funny thing, I always used to sit with my friends cross legged on the floor & so did they, (male & female younger Thais) but when I went to the mother in laws for the first time, we all sat down to eat & I made a point of sitting with my legs to one side with my feet pointing behind me (I had read up on thai manners before the visit), hubbies mum & older aunt made a big show of telling him how polite & lady like I was & how pleased they were that I didn't sit cross legged. That always made me laugh as if I hadn't read that little bit of info I wouldn't have know it was inpolite for women to sit like that, in the UK, from scholl age we all sit on the floor cross legged! Different strokes for different folks.

sbk, i am beginning to think that my boyf, well actually i should start calling him my fiance, is completely superstitious! he is totally convinced that the stepping over the fishing rod thing is REALLY bad, and not the done thing... perhaps he is in his own little world!

but he is relaxing on most things nowadays, he lets the maid wash my underwear and it can be hung freely outside for the neighbours to look at.

i have also seen him turn the volume up and down on the tv with his big toe when the remote is that inch out of reach....

sbk, i am beginning to think that my boyf, well actually i should start calling him my fiance, is completely superstitious! he is totally convinced that the stepping over the fishing rod thing is REALLY bad, and not the done thing... perhaps he is in his own little world!

but he is relaxing on most things nowadays, he lets the maid wash my underwear and it can be hung freely outside for the neighbours to look at.

i have also seen him turn the volume up and down on the tv with his big toe when the remote is that inch out of reach....

My b/f has also relaxed heaps since we've been together .... still doesn't like sitting on pillows meant for heads or walking under a clothes line with underwear (or hanging underwear on those clothes line things they have in hotels above the bath that are about head height) but most of the other things mentioned he now does himself - stepping over someone (just me, though) or using his foot to turn the fan off/on, etc.

I just asked him about the fishing rod thing and seems as if your b/f is not just in his own little world ... apparently it is bad luck because a fishing rod is used to get food and by stepping over it it you're not respecting this and therefore you won't catch any fish!

sbk, i am beginning to think that my boyf, well actually i should start calling him my fiance, is completely superstitious! he is totally convinced that the stepping over the fishing rod thing is REALLY bad, and not the done thing... perhaps he is in his own little world!

but he is relaxing on most things nowadays, he lets the maid wash my underwear and it can be hung freely outside for the neighbours to look at.

i have also seen him turn the volume up and down on the tv with his big toe when the remote is that inch out of reach....

Perhaps he has found out first hand that the "losing power" thing isn't true

sbk, i am beginning to think that my boyf, well actually i should start calling him my fiance, is completely superstitious! he is totally convinced that the stepping over the fishing rod thing is REALLY bad, and not the done thing... perhaps he is in his own little world!

but he is relaxing on most things nowadays, he lets the maid wash my underwear and it can be hung freely outside for the neighbours to look at.

i have also seen him turn the volume up and down on the tv with his big toe when the remote is that inch out of reach....

My b/f has also relaxed heaps since we've been together .... still doesn't like sitting on pillows meant for heads or walking under a clothes line with underwear (or hanging underwear on those clothes line things they have in hotels above the bath that are about head height) but most of the other things mentioned he now does himself - stepping over someone (just me, though) or using his foot to turn the fan off/on, etc.

I just asked him about the fishing rod thing and seems as if your b/f is not just in his own little world ... apparently it is bad luck because a fishing rod is used to get food and by stepping over it it you're not respecting this and therefore you won't catch any fish!

Nope, never heard of it, but like I said, my husband is not very superstitious.

That said, it seems to me that not stepping over a fishing rod laying on the ground is probably a practical thing, misstep and your rod is broken. Also, I must point out that my husband fishes from his boat at sea, not on land so wouldn't have his fishing rods laying down, also when he comes back home he leans them up against the wall, so, they are never on the ground at all. For him, it is most likely just being extra careful, those fishing rods and reels are his babies (expensive babies too!).

... i have also seen him turn the volume up and down on the tv with his big toe when the remote is that inch out of reach....

The foot thing is definitely a no-no, regardless. I think it is a bigger issue for women.

During my first year in Thailand, I was discouraged about foot-pointing twice:

- first time, by a friendly group of well-educated, Thai female office workers

- second time, by a Burmese Buddhist boyfriend, who gently cupped my foot and moved it away from my computer screen, while saying "not for ladies".

What were you doing with your foot on your computer screen??

I, too, can attest to the fishing rod thing. But, oddly enough, when I was pregnant and hanging out with the fishing boys, they all wanted to touch my stomach and almost begged me to step over their fishing rods. Apparently pregnant women are good luck for fishermen??? Or, maybe there's something to that because when you're pregnant, the whole menstruation thing becomes a non issue and there's life growing inside your body. Who knows???

When my hubby and I were first together, he would walk into my room and see the underwear hanging from the little clothesline I had strung across the room, and stand there like crossing the room under the clothesline would be no different from jumping across a snake pit. It didn't take him long to get over that. He seemed to embrace all the freedoms that western culture allows us regarding interaction between men and women. He would make an effort to make sure I couldn't see him naked, even after we started doing things that required a fair bit of nudity. But then he seemed to reach a point and one day I came home to find him alone and naked and jumping on the bed, and I don't think he put clothes on for the next 2 or 3 days.

I was always getting in trouble for doing thing with my feet.

He's so over that now. In fact, when I'm angry with him and telling him simply doesn't do the job, I will sometimes make a conscious effort to step over him. No harsh words spoken. A simple gesture and he gets the point.

Most of the women I know with Thai men find that their partners relax a bit over time, even the former temple boys.

Cheers,

TT

I asked my husband about the fishing rod thing, he's heard of it, but doesn't believe it. So, I guess it is up the to individual about how strict (or superstitious) they are.

Agree with too true, the longer you are together and the more he gets used to your ways, the more relaxed he will be.

And yeah, after hearing about Donz farting on the pillow, I can see the point of why they wouldn't want someone sitting where people put their heads. Fart residue on my hair

My gf always tells me off about the feet on pillows etc,

Once she went off her brain when i farted on the pillow and i was thinking dammmmm woman whats the big deal.

I guess im starting to understand

Fart has nothing to do with 'High' or 'Low' thing but may be she thinks it is about personal hygiene

its a matter of flexibility i guess;

i have a buddha altar over my bed (bed on floor) altar above my and anon's head height (we are fairly short)... complete w/his amulets (im not allowed to touch them), flowers etc... we do all the fun things in full nudity up down and all around, but before we go to sleep and in morning, wei phra, we get dressed first, even though we still kneel on the bed , and no underwear in the direction of the head of the bed etc (alhtough we ourselves move around a bit and that is 'natural' as he puts it....

to each his own beliefs etc...

still haveing hard time with the sex during end of menstruation thing (to jews its unclean) he couldnt care less.... go figure....

Basically men don't like walking under clothesline, they told themselves not to walk there because men once in their life time they will become a monk. The monk iin Thailand is very high. They are not allowed to touch women as we all know, women are not allowed even to sit at the same level with the monks, as a result, girls' things are unacceptable to be left laying around or easily to be seen by men especially girls' undies, skirts, sarong etc...

The funny thing is ' How come men can have sex with women if that is a concern?

Personally, that clothesline thing shouldn't effect any one of us because we all experiene more than just the clotheline if you think about it. They can say " NO! " to the clothesline once they become a monk. For now I think it is ridiculous!!!!!....

Patsycat qutoe: "What were you doing with your foot on your computer screen??"

I was watching a DVD on a laptop, which was on a chair in front of our sofa.

Sao Thai quote: "The funny thing is ' How come men can have sex with women if that is a concern?"

Because from a Buddhist standpoint sex is just an earthly bodily function, which must be done, like eating and using the toilet.

Patsycat qutoe: "What were you doing with your foot on your computer screen??"

I was watching a DVD on a laptop, which was on a chair in front of our sofa.

Sao Thai quote: "The funny thing is ' How come men can have sex with women if that is a concern?"

Because from a Buddhist standpoint sex is just an earthly bodily function, which must be done, like eating and using the toilet.

If that the case... men should not let under wear, skirts or clothesline bother them in any case because they will come to contact them any way....

Sao Thai quote: "The funny thing is ' How come men can have sex with women if that is a concern?"

Because from a Buddhist standpoint sex is just an earthly bodily function, which must be done, like eating and using the toilet.

I reckon that ' Sex is not just an earthy bodily function, in fact, it is very exotic !