Age Difference In Relationships In Thailand

[FDog]

Enough to know that most fathers wouldn't want their daughter hooking up with and taking a portion off an old man twice or thrice her age whether there was dosh involved or not.

What was your reason for asking Rene the question if you aren't going to believe the answer.

In Oz I was in a relationship with a girl over 20 years younger than me, I was in my 40's. Got on great with the father and still do. Also still get on well with her too.

Now in a relationship with a young one again so nothing has really changed from my life in the west to my life in the east. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't. Won't cost me anything except time.

Though hope that the time isn't running out too fast.

For someone that only a few posts ago said he's had enough of this you sure are posting a lot.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

ill say one thing again on this, as im a father, of 4 girls,,

as a father all you want for your children is to be happy, and if that ment being with some one older then them, well at the end of the day it is there choise,

so as a father you are there to support them, and also be there to pick them up if things went wrong,

things go wrong with same age reletionships, you dont get to know someone untill you get living with them, so weather you are the same age or not you dont know if it will work untill you are together full time,

i talked to my wife about all this last night,

and she said she asked gib my freinds wife, one question,

is jake a good man with a good heart, and gib told her she new me in the uk too and that i wasnt rich, i was just a normal hard working man with a good heart,

jake

Don't ever post or say "good heart" to anyone, especially not Thais, they will make assumptions.

Edited May 27, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[JLCrab]

My (unofficial) in-laws are always delighted when I stop by with their daughter. Of course, I can never tell whether they are delighted to see me or the dried squid I always bring with me as a house gift.

[muythai2013]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

I'd like to see you tell Clint Eastwood and Michael Douglas that their wives are prostitutes or Humphrey Bogart if he was still alive, all married woman 25 years or more their junior. How about Princess Diane? She was 13 years Charles junior?

Would those actors be with those girls if they were themselves working as a plumber or something.

No they would not.

Crikey, did you see who Julia Roberts was married to?

like you said "was"

[whiteman]

Sorry been away with other things to answer your questions re her 2 masters.

One is teaching english to Thais as a second. Oh by the way she is fully qualified Toast master.

Her 2nd Masters was for me she says and it was for Elderly Nursing for old farts like me so that she can understand me as I get older.

She is also not a practicing Nurse now but still sits the exams to keep her licence valid.

She runs her own small business and is doing ok and is very happy with life as I am.

Hope this clears up your questions

[muythai2013]

A good heart means your free with your cash.

[brewsterbudgen]

A good heart means your free with your cash.

It's called being generous.

[NanLaew]

A good heart means your free with your cash.

That interpretation of 'a good heart' is the misogynist monger's opinion of the bar girl's point of view.

How would you know that?

[robblok]

A good heart means your free with your cash.

It's called being generous.

Yes you can call it that or call it buying affection. Anyway all depends on the situation. Problem with discussions like this that there is no black and white but a whole lot of grey. Being free with cash could be seen as paying for affection or just not letting a friend pay for his or her food as you know they are short on cash.

[rene123]

A good heart means your free with your cash.

It's called being generous.

Yes you can call it that or call it buying affection. Anyway all depends on the situation. Problem with discussions like this that there is no black and white but a whole lot of grey. Being free with cash could be seen as paying for affection or just not letting a friend pay for his or her food as you know they are short on cash.

Exactly, too many here want to turn "grey" topics into something polarized black or white. There is no one size fits all. And I'll continue to say that if you can get 4 or 5 happy years for your "investment" then it's been worth it. Very little in life lasts forever.

[NanLaew]

A good heart means your free with your cash.

It's called being generous.

Yes you can call it that or call it buying affection. Anyway all depends on the situation. Problem with discussions like this that there is no black and white but a whole lot of grey. Being free with cash could be seen as paying for affection or just not letting a friend pay for his or her food as you know they are short on cash.

Exactly, too many here want to turn "grey" topics into something polarized black or white. There is no one size fits all. And I'll continue to say that if you can get 4 or 5 happy years for your "investment" then it's been worth it. Very little in life lasts forever.

...even if you are a younger, smarter investor in Thai womanhood.

[pigeonjake]

how the f,,,,,g hell, you got from having a good heart, to being free with money beats me,

you must be experts in everything, at such a young age too

jake,

[robblok]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[muythai2013]

I have seen many guys run around giving to every second Thai friend he has.

Non of them really care about the guys in question, non of them ever say no, and they never give back.

And I have lost count how many times they say they he ha a good heart.

Meanwhile their most true friends who give more of themselves as true friends and not as shoppers, who would spit blood for them are never spoken of in the good heart terms.

you don't have to be an expert pigeonjake, just have 2 eyes as it's flashing like giant neon signs in a blackened night when you see it.

The guys I saw giving are the trashiest of sleazy guys, and they are borderline mental, yet they have a good heart every time the wallets flashed.

Age is not a factor jake, most people go a lifetime without experiencing anything, your wife is young right so does that mean she is ignorant.

Edited May 28, 2013 by muythai2013

[SteeleJoe]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

An other American has demonstrated more than once that his one year experience in Thailand hardly makes him an infallible authority.

Nan Laew nailed it above: that is one interpretation and it is from a particular perspective.

[pigeonjake]

@robblok and muythai,

rob you no me in a way we have talked on these forums before,

ive lived here for over 7 years, been visiting thailand fo 14 years,

i do understand some of your statements, there are fools here and as the old english saying goes,

a fool and his money is easy parted,

if you read my posts on here, you will see i dont give money, ive said i work hard away for my money and im not just going to give it away,

there are some i admit, that give just for the sake of giving, i dont!

yes muythai, my wife is young, 28 in july, im 52, to us it dosnt make a differance, you might think it does, but your not in our relationship, you dont know what are plans are what we talk about,

thats what does my head in, you talk about others as if you know them, and you dont, every relationship is different,

i dont come on here and say to anyone that there relationship will split up, i dont know how they are together,

like ive said i do understand, ive seen fools with young girls, but they are the ones that i think are strait of the plane, i think if you have lived here long enough you shouldnt get cought, in anyway,

we have all seen it, we have all read about the horor storys,

if some bloke wants to meet a girl from a bar and within 2 or 3 weeks builds her a house, gives her a car, thats his fault,

as for me ill just carry on the way i am,, if it all went tits up with me and mac, i wouldnt of lost a lot of money, i could walk away and maybe it would of cost me 20k english, that for 7 years of happiness is very cheap, and i would except that it was over and move on,

life to short to worry about what might happen,

consentrate on what is happening,

jake

[robblok]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

An other American has demonstrated more than once that his one year experience in Thailand hardly makes him an infallible authority.

Nan Laew nailed it above: that is one interpretation and it is from a particular perspective.

I agree but i just used his name as one of many who know about this interpretation of that phrase.

I have had it explained by thais in this way too. It is not an uncommon interpretation of it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[robblok]

Jake i was only giving an explanation of the phrase. I was not saying it was how you are. Not going into that was just how a good heart was explained ro me by a few thais

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[pigeonjake]

i understand rob,

some on here think if your a nice man your a fool,,lol

[SteeleJoe]

I agree but i just used his name as one of many who know about this interpretation of that phrase.

I have had it explained by thais in this way too. It is not an uncommon interpretation of it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Anyone who has spent time around bargirls and other hustlers and exploiters - as many of us have at some point or another to varying extents - knows it.

No, it is not uncommon.

[SteeleJoe]

i understand rob,

some on here think if your a nice man your a fool,,lol

The two certainly aren't mutually exclusive and the fact of the matter is, often people here (Farang) are both.

But it IS possible to generally be the former without being the latter. However that takes more effort and care than a lot of people wish to make - it's easier to just be indiscriminately generous and believe ( or pretend to) that everyone loves you for it.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

An other American has demonstrated more than once that his one year experience in Thailand hardly makes him an infallible authority.

Nan Laew nailed it above: that is one interpretation and it is from a particular perspective.

I'm thinking the 20 years in the US with my Thai mother and speaking Thai, might have added a bit more to my Thai experience, than a guy living here for 20 years in ban mia farang, and never leaving his castle.

Edited May 28, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[SteeleJoe]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

An other American has demonstrated more than once that his one year experience in Thailand hardly makes him an infallible authority.

Nan Laew nailed it above: that is one interpretation and it is from a particular perspective.

I'm thinking the 20 years in the US with my Thai mother and speaking Thai, might have added a bit more to my Thai experience, than a guy living here for 20 years in ban mia farang, and never leaving his castle.

It might have but not necessarily - and I've seen little evidence to support that it has and some that wouldn't.

In any case, what does said guy 20 years in ban mia Farang (sic) have to do with it? (If you think that's me, that'd be pretty funny...).

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

An other American has demonstrated more than once that his one year experience in Thailand hardly makes him an infallible authority.

Nan Laew nailed it above: that is one interpretation and it is from a particular perspective.

I'm thinking the 20 years in the US with my Thai mother and speaking Thai, might have added a bit more to my Thai experience, than a guy living here for 20 years in ban mia farang, and never leaving his castle.

It might have but not necessarily - and I've seen little evidence to support that it has and some that wouldn't.

In any case, what does said guy 20 years in ban mia Farang (sic) have to do with it? (If you think that's me, that'd be pretty funny...).

You may very well understand Thai, in which case you will also understand what is happening around you.

The people who don't understand Thai, are unlikely to ever have a clue what is happening, doesn't matter how long they lived here.

[SteeleJoe]

Its called Thai experience Jake more the n once it was explained to me like this too. Even an other american hinted at it.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

An other American has demonstrated more than once that his one year experience in Thailand hardly makes him an infallible authority.

Nan Laew nailed it above: that is one interpretation and it is from a particular perspective.

I'm thinking the 20 years in the US with my Thai mother and speaking Thai, might have added a bit more to my Thai experience, than a guy living here for 20 years in ban mia farang, and never leaving his castle.

It might have but not necessarily - and I've seen little evidence to support that it has and some that wouldn't.

In any case, what does said guy 20 years in ban mia Farang (sic) have to do with it? (If you think that's me, that'd be pretty funny...).

You may very well understand Thai, in which case you will also understand what is happening around you.

The people who don't understand Thai, are unlikely to ever have a clue what is happening, doesn't matter how long they lived here.

Every once in a while you and I, you may recall, see things the same way or close to it - this is one of those occasions (ie you second line is largely true I feel though I don't often say it as there are obvious exceptions and moreover it makes one look like an elitist self impressed ass)

Having said that, even the highest level of Thai language skill doesn't guarantee a real understanding of things here - while I think it would be hard to attain that level without a roughly commensurate education in the culture (no matter how informal or whether it is entirely or primarily gained from experience in country), without that understanding of the way things work here --- and an application of clear, objective, analytical-critical thinking --- the language won't do much good.

Edited May 28, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[muythai2013]

@robblok and muythai,

rob you no me in a way we have talked on these forums before,

ive lived here for over 7 years, been visiting thailand fo 14 years,

i do understand some of your statements, there are fools here and as the old english saying goes,

a fool and his money is easy parted,

if you read my posts on here, you will see i dont give money, ive said i work hard away for my money and im not just going to give it away,

there are some i admit, that give just for the sake of giving, i dont!

yes muythai, my wife is young, 28 in july, im 52, to us it dosnt make a differance, you might think it does, but your not in our relationship, you dont know what are plans are what we talk about,

thats what does my head in, you talk about others as if you know them, and you dont, every relationship is different,

i dont come on here and say to anyone that there relationship will split up, i dont know how they are together,

like ive said i do understand, ive seen fools with young girls, but they are the ones that i think are strait of the plane, i think if you have lived here long enough you shouldnt get cought, in anyway,

we have all seen it, we have all read about the horor storys,

if some bloke wants to meet a girl from a bar and within 2 or 3 weeks builds her a house, gives her a car, thats his fault,

as for me ill just carry on the way i am,, if it all went tits up with me and mac, i wouldnt of lost a lot of money, i could walk away and maybe it would of cost me 20k english, that for 7 years of happiness is very cheap, and i would except that it was over and move on,

life to short to worry about what might happen,

consentrate on what is happening,

jake

what are you talking about, I never mention your relationship.

you made a smart remark about young people knowing nothing and claiming to be experts.

I made a point of pointing out your wife is young and that does not mean she is ignorant.

where did I mention the state of your relationship. (please tell me Where).

[poanoi]

 

how the f,,,,,g hell, you got from having a good heart, to being free with money beats me,

you must be experts in everything, at such a young age too

jake,

 

How else would i interpret it, when a bar girl says

"give me drink, i know u good heart" ?

[NeverSure]

Go ahead and invalidate me for having only a little more than a year on the ground in Thailand. I also stay in touch with Thai friends. I began to believe that two phrases are totally different from the West.

"I want man with good heart" says to me generous.

"I want man take care of me" means take care of my heart and I'll take care of his. This phrase scared me off until I figured it out.

Financially, I'll always be afraid of women, especially Thais, and keep my cards close to my vest no matter what they say.

[rene123]

"Having a good heart" could mean different things to different women.

I was never blessed with any children. But, if I did have a daughter I expect I would have raised her well enough to make wise decisions for herself. If She chose an older man then that would be her choice. In Canada we have Sikh families who have murdered their own daughters because the girl did not want to go through with an arranged marriage.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

"Having a good heart" could mean different things to different women.

I was never blessed with any children. But, if I did have a daughter I expect I would have raised her well enough to make wise decisions for herself. If She chose an older man then that would be her choice. In Canada we have Sikh families who have murdered their own daughters because the girl did not want to go through with an arranged marriage.

You won't have encountered this Rene, but "good heart" is bar girl talk, prostitutes who work with foreigners and men who associate with them use it a lot, the girls use it as a form of emotional blackmail, and the guys repeat it thinking it's normal Thai talk. Never heard a respectable Thai say it, not to say that would be impossible, but not from the respectable Thais I have ever mixed with.

Foreign guys mixing with bar girls pick up a lot of the 'special trade talk', it instantly marks them out and excludes them from respectable Thai society. One of the first rules for mongers in Thailand, never ever repeat anything you hear a bar girl say.

(Not to be confused with 'dee jai' which means glad)

Edited May 28, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican