Advice Required: Mate About To Break Up With Thai G/f

[bangkokpoppys]

A good friend is planning a break up with his Thai GF, they've been together a year and she stays in his condo, he gives her some happy-money each month. The relationship is not ticking all the boxes and he is planning an exit. I highly suspect she was a bar girl, either that or her family owns a tatoo parlour Any advice appreciated.

[Morakot]

Get one more tattoo before leaving, just for old-time sake.

On a more serious note, advice with regard to what specific aspect? Housing, current payments, psychological trauma?

Edited May 26, 2013 by Morakot

[TTSIssues]

I would suggest keeping well out of it, and buy him a beer when it's over.

[rubberduck]

Long time ago I learned never mind others love-business and let everybody solve his own problems. It are usually sukcers who expect others to solve their problems. You did not even mention 1 complication.

[rgs2001uk]

Do what a Thai man would do, tell her its over and give her 5k baht to go back to mama in the village.

[bangkokpoppys]

Get one more tattoo before leaving, just for old-time sake.

On a more serious note, advice with regard to what specific aspect? Housing, current payments, psychological trauma?

She has two kids to a previous relationship. I think my mate will be fine but suspect strongly she will be mightily peeved. No-one (friend included) knows that much about her - ok he's met family in village and said kids. But unsure of any unsavory connections. My fear is for any retribution to him, seen that before in LOS and Pats, so am keen to avoid this as much as poss.

[EyesWideOpen]

Have your friend tell the girl that he has run out of money. Problem solved instantly......

[whybother]

Pack up her stuff. Change the locks. Maybe give her some cash to set her up somewhere else.

If that fails, move.

[Morakot]

She has two kids to a previous relationship. I think my mate will be fine but suspect strongly she will be mightily peeved. No-one (friend included) knows that much about her - ok he's met family in village and said kids. But unsure of any unsavory connections. My fear is for any retribution to him, seen that before in LOS and Pats, so am keen to avoid this as much as poss.

People splitting up is normal. If no history of something "unsavory", assume that they will part without retribution. Representations about Thailand, especially in terms of relationships between Western men and Thai women, in this forum ought to be treated with caution. Also sporting tattoos is not an indication of anything (unless they are distinct prison tattoos), if this worries you.

In general, of course splitting up is always best be done amicably.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Morakot

[Boo]

presumably your friends has never had a gf before if he is unsure of how to break up with one?

[wooloomooloo]

I highly suspect she was a bar girl...

Of course, you both do. You are learning to be suspicious when you're being taken for ride. This is normal and no different from being taken for ride in UK.

My only caveat - bar girl not guaranteed to fleece you. Wrong choice of lady is more likely.

Good stuff.

[irishken]

she has a tattoo, ok she must be a bar girl

so if she she beats you at pool and has a tattoo she must be a mamasan

seriously,is that the screening process for finding out if she is a bg. people need to wise up.

[bangkokpoppys]

she has a tattoo, ok she must be a bar girl

so if she she beats you at pool and has a tattoo she must be a mamasan

seriously,is that the screening process for finding out if she is a bg. people need to wise up.

II've left out a lot of detail...there is more tattoo than bare skin. She covers up a lot so am not sure if they are prison tatt or not, the whole back and thighs, there are dragons but she covers up for the rest of us. There are other telltales.

Please leave advice of a useful kind if you are going to post, this is a serious enquiry.

[bangkokpoppys]

presumably your friends has never had a gf before if he is unsure of how to break up with one?

Not a Thai one, no, and not one in Pattaya.

But then I am not writing with my tongue in my cheek.....

[irishken]

she has a tattoo, ok she must be a bar girl

so if she she beats you at pool and has a tattoo she must be a mamasan

seriously,is that the screening process for finding out if she is a bg. people need to wise up.

II've left out a lot of detail...there is more tattoo than bare skin. She covers up a lot so am not sure if they are prison tatt or not, the whole back and thighs, there are dragons but she covers up for the rest of us. There are other telltales.

Please leave advice of a useful kind if you are going to post, this is a serious enquiry.

i know mate,wasn't trying to be a smart <deleted> to you,just venting my opinion on what a lot of people believe to be the only way of knowing if she was a bg.

firstly in my opinion,dumping her just because she was a bg is not a reason. contrary to many people's belief,not all bg are bad. you have to remember,i don't think many of them said when there were young "i want to be a bg when i grow up". if she is faithful to him then she deserves a chance.

if she is doing something behind his back,then she should get the same treatment as any man or woman should get,dumped.

my advice to you,let your buddy choose as its only his choice

[Bikkii]

she has a tattoo, ok she must be a bar girl

so if she she beats you at pool and has a tattoo she must be a mamasan

seriously,is that the screening process for finding out if she is a bg. people need to wise up.

II've left out a lot of detail...there is more tattoo than bare skin. She covers up a lot so am not sure if they are prison tatt or not, the whole back and thighs, there are dragons but she covers up for the rest of us. There are other telltales.

Please leave advice of a useful kind if you are going to post, this is a serious enquiry.

Wow I would love to meet her, she sounds hot!!!!

Are you sure that you are not indeed your friend and your friend is indeed not you ?

[commande]

Suggest your friend just tells her that it's over because he isn't happy anymore. Do this at a coffee shop or other venue, not at the apartment. Get her a place to stay for a month in a hotel somewhere, give her a couple thousand baht and tell her that her personal belongings will be delivered to her new address the next day but that she doesn't need to come to the apartment to pick them up; they will be delivered.

If a blowout happens at least it's not at the apartment. Might be good to pre-arrange the locks changed on the doors while your out, have a friend help you with this, this is just in case she gets destructive. It happens sometimes. Wouldn't worry about retribution, it happens sometimes but you just have to watch yourself for a while.

Edited May 29, 2013 by commande

[irishken]

Suggest your friend just tells her that it's over because he isn't happy anymore. Do this at a coffee shop or other venue, not at the apartment. Get her a place to stay for a month in a hotel somewhere, give her a couple thousand baht and tell her that her personal belongings will be delivered to her new address the next day but that she doesn't need to come to the apartment to pick them up; they will be delivered.

If a blowout happens at least it's not at the apartment. Might be good to pre-arrange the locks changed on the doors while your out, have a friend help you with this, this is just in case she gets destructive. It happens sometimes. Wouldn't worry about retribution, it happens sometimes but you just have to watch yourself for a while.

especially if the apartment has a balcony

[frankold]

Suggest your friend just tells her that it's over because he isn't happy anymore.  Do this at a coffee shop or other venue, not at the apartment.  Get her a place to stay for a month in a hotel somewhere, give her a couple thousand baht and tell her that her personal belongings will be delivered to her new address the next day but that she doesn't need to come to the apartment to pick them up; they will be delivered.

 

If a blowout happens at least it's not at the apartment.  Might be good to pre-arrange the locks changed on the doors while your out, have a friend help you with this, this is just in case she gets destructive.  It happens sometimes.  Wouldn't worry about retribution, it happens sometimes but you just have to watch yourself for a while.

Sounds like ya trying to oust a psychopath :-D They do tend to go a little mental though. How dare the farang dump them in their country?

If they pulled that sort of stunt with a thai guy they'd likely receive a good night right for their efforts... ;-)

[bangkokpoppys]

Suggest your friend just tells her that it's over because he isn't happy anymore. Do this at a coffee shop or other venue, not at the apartment. Get her a place to stay for a month in a hotel somewhere, give her a couple thousand baht and tell her that her personal belongings will be delivered to her new address the next day but that she doesn't need to come to the apartment to pick them up; they will be delivered.

If a blowout happens at least it's not at the apartment. Might be good to pre-arrange the locks changed on the doors while your out, have a friend help you with this, this is just in case she gets destructive. It happens sometimes. Wouldn't worry about retribution, it happens sometimes but you just have to watch yourself for a while.

especially if the apartment has a balcony

[bangkokpoppys]

very, very good point about the balcony.

i know said mate (no not me) has had a pretty severe reaction previously with separation in Patts, and he does mention a fair amount of yelling in the relationship (not him) and also a reasonable amount of ball busting.

I guess the point of my post was to see if there was anything in common or if it came down to individual circumstances.

Thanks for the advice so far.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Wait until she goes to visit her family.

Put all her stuff in bin bags outside the door.

Have the locks changed.

Move out of the apartment for two weeks for a little holiday.

SMS her it's over while she is away.

Get a new SIM in your phone.

Don't return to any of your normal hang-out places for a month.

Return to apartment when the coast is clear.

If it's a rented apartment, it might be easier to let them keep the deposit and move somewhere else.

[bangkokpoppys]

Wait until she goes to visit her family.

Put all her stuff in bin bags outside the door.

Have the locks changed.

Move out of the apartment for two weeks for a little holiday.

SMS her it's over while she is away.

Get a new SIM in your phone.

Don't return to any of your normal hang-out places for a month.

Return to apartment when the coast is clear.

If it's a rented apartment, it might be easier to let them keep the deposit and move somewhere else.

Ouch! Might "cherry pick" the bits out of this one!!

Cheers!

[Briggsy]

Hide all the knives before sending a Dear Lek... sms after changing the locks and after informing and paying off all condo staff that she no longer lives there and is no longer welcome.

[EyesWideOpen]

Wait until she goes to visit her family.

Put all her stuff in bin bags outside the door.

Have the locks changed.

Move out of the apartment for two weeks for a little holiday.

SMS her it's over while she is away.

Get a new SIM in your phone.

Don't return to any of your normal hang-out places for a month.

Return to apartment when the coast is clear.

If it's a rented apartment, it might be easier to let them keep the deposit and move somewhere else.

Damn that is a bit weaselly, but really GOOD !!!!!!!

One minor amendment, perhaps mail her stuff to her family home.

If all her stuff was stolen after you set it outside the door, she would then be really really pissed off... :-)

Edited May 29, 2013 by EyesWideOpen

[bigbamboo]

One or two risky scenarios put forward here, involving loss of face for the tattooed one.

I agree with the poster who suggested that he say his money had run out only I would go further and ask if she could return his favour and support him for that reason.... maybe they could stay with her family etc. That should do the trick.

[transam]

she has a tattoo, ok she must be a bar girl

so if she she beats you at pool and has a tattoo she must be a mamasan

seriously,is that the screening process for finding out if she is a bg. people need to wise up.

II've left out a lot of detail...there is more tattoo than bare skin. She covers up a lot so am not sure if they are prison tatt or not, the whole back and thighs, there are dragons but she covers up for the rest of us. There are other telltales.

Please leave advice of a useful kind if you are going to post, this is a serious enquiry.

Wow I would love to meet her, she sounds hot!!!!

Are you sure that you are not indeed your friend and your friend is indeed not you ?

Gawd.

[Bikkii]

she has a tattoo, ok she must be a bar girl

so if she she beats you at pool and has a tattoo she must be a mamasan

seriously,is that the screening process for finding out if she is a bg. people need to wise up.

II've left out a lot of detail...there is more tattoo than bare skin. She covers up a lot so am not sure if they are prison tatt or not, the whole back and thighs, there are dragons but she covers up for the rest of us. There are other telltales.

Please leave advice of a useful kind if you are going to post, this is a serious enquiry.

Wow I would love to meet her, she sounds hot!!!!

Are you sure that you are not indeed your friend and your friend is indeed not you ?

Gawd.

Gawd ??

Anything to add besides this, or is this as good as its gets?

[IrishIvan]

Problem with throwing cash at bargirls is that they keep coming for more. Best to set up a phoney bank account and 'accidetly' leave the key card around with 30000 baht in there. Let the bargirl know you lost all your money gambling or you have a sick grandma in hospitan blah blah, whatever the excuse. But give the bargirl the option to nick the last of your money and leg it

[commande]

One or two risky scenarios put forward here, involving loss of face for the tattooed one.

I agree with the poster who suggested that he say his money had run out only I would go further and ask if she could return his favour and support him for that reason.... maybe they could stay with her family etc. That should do the trick.

I like this idea - I'm certain that would end things quickly... She would most likely leave in short order but I would be wary of what she would take out of the condo with her on the way out the door... Might want to hide or store outside the unit anything you consider valuable prior to going this path but it sounds very good ...