English Vehicles

[overherebc]

Years ago we were all riding our Brit bikes (Triumph TR6, BSA Rocket, Norton Commando and an Arial 2-stroke washing machine) along a nice winding country road at night when we realized we'd lost one of the riders. We rode back and found him in a ditch.

His headlight was getting progressively dimmer - so he stood on the footpegs and peered into his lamp to see if it had gone out totally - and went off the road.

Yeh, rockers did that, us Mods had more sense.

Had a BMW 750 boxer, 80's with the ignition switch in the side of the headlamp. Ignition key had a few more keys attached to the ring and one day overtaking a bus took a quick look, knocked it down a gear and went for it.

About a second later all the power just dropped off and left me sitting on the bike that was quickly slowing down in the wrong lane. Took a couple of seconds to realise what had gone wrong, weight of the keys had swung round and switched off the ignition.

Luckily managed to get it switched back in time but the laundry bill was big.

[sustento]

Years ago we were all riding our Brit bikes (Triumph TR6, BSA Rocket, Norton Commando and an Arial 2-stroke washing machine) along a nice winding country road at night when we realized we'd lost one of the riders. We rode back and found him in a ditch.

His headlight was getting progressively dimmer - so he stood on the footpegs and peered into his lamp to see if it had gone out totally - and went off the road.

Yeh, rockers did that, us Mods had more sense.

Were you a Mod?

Yes. BUT, not here. .............. ....Back in early 1960's.

So was I - Lambretta or Vespa? Brighton or Skeggy?

[transam]

Brighton and Hastings . Lambetta Li 150 then a TV 175 and then a Vespa SS180. Good fun eh.

[overherebc]

Brighton and Hastings . Lambetta Li 150 then a TV 175 and then a Vespa SS180. Good fun eh.

Not quite sure which category I fell into. It really depended on finances at the time. Sometimes scooter sometimes bike.

[billd766]

Related story, probably more real than joke.

When looking at a second hand Scimitar GTE the first question to ask was, Has it been on fire yet ?

billd7766,

I have a feeling that like me you must have owned a 'hot' GTE

Not me guv.

I did used to own a Bond Equipe 1600 GTS though.

Based on a Triumph Vitesse with lots of fibreglass. That had Lucas electrics too.

[transam]

Related story, probably more real than joke.

When looking at a second hand Scimitar GTE the first question to ask was, Has it been on fire yet ?

billd7766,

I have a feeling that like me you must have owned a 'hot' GTE

Not me guv.

I did used to own a Bond Equipe 1600 GTS though.

Based on a Triumph Vitesse with lots of fibreglass. That had Lucas electrics too.

Is this it..............................

.............................

[overherebc]

Bond Equipe

Transam,

Your photo is the 'after' for the GTE.

[billd766]

Just like this one but after I had a minor ding the fibreglass bonnet never looked quite the correct colour.

IIRC the bodywork was fibreglass but the doors were straight off the Vittesse.

I would have loved to own the 2 litre convertible but it wasn't in my price range.

[overherebc]

Just like this one but after I had a minor ding the fibreglass bonnet never looked quite the correct colour.

IIRC the bodywork was fibreglass but the doors were straight off the Vittesse.

I would have loved to own the 2 litre convertible but it wasn't in my price range.

1966 Bond Equipe GT4S.jpg

Had one of these for a while.

[transam]

Just like this one but after I had a minor ding the fibreglass bonnet never looked quite the correct colour.

IIRC the bodywork was fibreglass but the doors were straight off the Vittesse.

I would have loved to own the 2 litre convertible but it wasn't in my price range.

1966 Bond Equipe GT4S.jpg

Had one of these for a while.

Marcos.

[Ace of Pop]

My Mate had a Laverda Jota back then, it rained, it stopped. 6 Volts System but not Lucas .

[MJCM]

This is turning out to be Thailand Motor Forum part 2

[overherebc]

My Mate had a Laverda Jota back then, it rained, it stopped. 6 Volts System but not Lucas .

Fantastic bike though. When it was running

[overherebc]

This is turning out to be Thailand Motor Forum part 2

Move it to motoring and people will start posting about their Vios or something.

[Ace of Pop]

This is turning out to be Thailand Motor Forum part 2

Move it to motoring and people will start posting about their Vios or something.

For Heaved Sake Dont, its full of Clonking Ford Trucks and Tuna Thugs

[MJCM]

This is turning out to be Thailand Motor Forum part 2

Move it to motoring and people will start posting about their Vios or something.

555555

To keep it here, at least put in some jokes about English Cars

Q: Know why the British don't make computers?

A: They couldn't figure out how to make them leak oil!

-Bill Hancock

Q: What do you call an MG with dual exhaust?

A: A Wheelbarrow!

-Philip Payne

Q: How do you double the value of a Triumph?

A: Fill it up with gas!

-Paul Helsby

Q: What's the difference between a classic Jag owner and a classic Triumph owner?

A: The Jag owner washes his hands AFTER he's been for a pee, and the Triumph owner...

- Richard Gosling

I'll get my coat !!!

[sustento]

Brighton and Hastings . Lambetta Li 150 then a TV 175 and then a Vespa SS180. Good fun eh.

[overherebc]

My Mate had a Laverda Jota back then, it rained, it stopped. 6 Volts System but not Lucas .

Can I like this twice.?

Reason I ask is because I just come back from a night out and it kept coming into my head and I would laugh.

Friends asked me why I was laughing and I said , Laverda Jota and rain. They looked at me as though I'd gone Doolally

[wayned]

My father bought me a used TR6 when I was in high school. Thought I was in Hog Heaven. Kept me out of trouble though and fit! I was either fixing the f**king thing or walking to school because it wouldn't start!

[Ace of Pop]

My Mate had a Laverda Jota back then, it rained, it stopped. 6 Volts System but not Lucas .

Can I like this twice.?

Reason I ask is because I just come back from a night out and it kept coming into my head and I would laugh.

Friends asked me why I was laughing and I said , Laverda Jota and rain. They looked at me as though I'd gone Doolally

The friend was quit Chubby but on the Jota he looked fine. Quite ofter hed turn up on a knackered old BSA Bantam, muttering i'm not walking again home tonight, looks like rain again.It was one of the first imports,they did get better, but by then he gave up. P.S I do that laughing thing too

[transam]

My father bought me a used TR6 when I was in high school. Thought I was in Hog Heaven. Kept me out of trouble though and fit! I was either fixing the f**king thing or walking to school because it wouldn't start!

The mechanical fuel injection was crap, and the pump in the trunk was crap too. ............

[overherebc]

Anyone out there remember these.

Note the engineering genious of placing the distributor directly in the line of all the crud that comes off the front wheel.

Even the front wheel guard was cunningly designed with a lip that very accurately directed any water coming off straight to the distributor.

In conjunction with Lucas electrics of the time it proved to be a great marketing ploy to ensure the bikes were always clean and used only on sunny days of the year in UK, all 3 of them.

[overherebc]

My father bought me a used TR6 when I was in high school. Thought I was in Hog Heaven. Kept me out of trouble though and fit! I was either fixing the f**king thing or walking to school because it wouldn't start!

The mechanical fuel injection was crap, and the pump in the trunk was crap too. ............

Had a jag with twin tanks and I could fill both, use the left hand tank first then when it got low switch to right hand tank. It would then proceed to transfer the contents of the right hand tank to the left and when that was full I switched back over.

[scottishjohn]

I did 250,000 miles in a UK 1972 3.0 ltr Ford Granada. 1964 MGB Roadster, many Mini's etc. Can't say I ever had a big electrical problem other than a regulator change. Not sure what your topic is about.

Jeez, a joke that's turned into a topic. That's why I love TV.

I think the whole electric joke thing stems from the fact that for most of their lives UK vehicles spent their lives living in a 70 mph hurricane. you know 70+ on the motorway in the rain and at the time electric systems especially on second or third hand cars almost without exception had various electric add-ons done by 'Joe' around the corner so the vast majority of breakdowns were caused by water ingress into various electric components.

The blame was then transferred to 'The lousy electric system' produced by Lucas.

At least in those days you could do a 'temp' repair' eg ciggy packet silver paper around the fuse and get another 20 miles.

Yeh, I did that.

I do feel a bit guilty sometimes when I think of the time I spent ages stuffing many pairs of my ex's tights into the rear diff' of a Hillman Avenger to cut the whine down before the buyer came for a test drive

Who was whining, the ex or the car and why!

[scottishjohn]

Years ago we were all riding our Brit bikes (Triumph TR6, BSA Rocket, Norton Commando and an Arial 2-stroke washing machine) along a nice winding country road at night when we realized we'd lost one of the riders. We rode back and found him in a ditch.

His headlight was getting progressively dimmer - so he stood on the footpegs and peered into his lamp to see if it had gone out totally - and went off the road.

Yeh, rockers did that, us Mods had more sense.

MODS having sense! Is that not an oxymoron?

OOPS! Just realised; we cannot comment about MODS, unless we are off our ROCKERS.

(UK Joke!)

[chuenyongman]

I did 250,000 miles in a UK 1972 3.0 ltr Ford Granada. 1964 MGB Roadster, many Mini's etc. Can't say I ever had a big electrical problem other than a regulator change. Not sure what your topic is about.

Jeez, a joke that's turned into a topic. That's why I love TV.

I think the whole electric joke thing stems from the fact that for most of their lives UK vehicles spent their lives living in a 70 mph hurricane. you know 70+ on the motorway in the rain and at the time electric systems especially on second or third hand cars almost without exception had various electric add-ons done by 'Joe' around the corner so the vast majority of breakdowns were caused by water ingress into various electric components.

The blame was then transferred to 'The lousy electric system' produced by Lucas.

At least in those days you could do a 'temp' repair' eg ciggy packet silver paper around the fuse and get another 20 miles.

Yeh, I did that.

And me.

[billd766]

Long ago and far away I used to have a Ford Prefect 100E ns while the electrics weren't that bad overtaking in heavy rain was terrifying.

The wipers were vacuum operated which meant that at low revs they flew across the screen adding a couple of mph to the speed.

However when I changed into 2nd gear (3 speed box and reverse on some days only) to overtake something the wipers just stopped. This was back in the old days of dual carriageways and 3 lane carriageways with the murder mile strip up the middle.

It did have a good heater and flashing indicators unlike some of my earlier cars.

[overherebc]

Years ago we were all riding our Brit bikes (Triumph TR6, BSA Rocket, Norton Commando and an Arial 2-stroke washing machine) along a nice winding country road at night when we realized we'd lost one of the riders. We rode back and found him in a ditch.

His headlight was getting progressively dimmer - so he stood on the footpegs and peered into his lamp to see if it had gone out totally - and went off the road.

Yeh, rockers did that, us Mods had more sense.

MODS having sense! Is that not an oxymoron?

OOPS! Just realised; we cannot comment about MODS, unless we are off our ROCKERS.

(UK Joke!)

Re your previous quite. Both whined quite a lot.

[Familyonthemove]

I did 250,000 miles in a UK 1972 3.0 ltr Ford Granada. 1964 MGB Roadster, many Mini's etc. Can't say I ever had a big electrical problem other than a regulator change. Not sure what your topic is about.

Jeez, a joke that's turned into a topic. That's why I love TV.

I think the whole electric joke thing stems from the fact that for most of their lives UK vehicles spent their lives living in a 70 mph hurricane. you know 70+ on the motorway in the rain and at the time electric systems especially on second or third hand cars almost without exception had various electric add-ons done by 'Joe' around the corner so the vast majority of breakdowns were caused by water ingress into various electric components.

The blame was then transferred to 'The lousy electric system' produced by Lucas.

At least in those days you could do a 'temp' repair' eg ciggy packet silver paper around the fuse and get another 20 miles.

Yeh, I did that.

And me.

As a non smoker I used chewing gum wrapper

And yes - I think lack of cash and a history of bodging and dodgy accessories caused most the issues. Adding a stick-on heated rear screen was a sure way to start an electrical fire. When I see perfectly restored classics at shows I think that they didn't look that nice when they were in daily use as working transport.

[scottishjohn]

Being serious for once; I drive a 33yo MGB (since new) and apart from the indicator relay, which has to be replace regularly, I have no probs with the electrics.

But back to car jokes;

A guy driving a Mini pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Mini rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Mini!"

The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."

The driver of the Mini says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I got a fridge in the back seat of my Mini!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."

The driver of the Mini says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Mini!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"

The driver of the Mini says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Mini!"

Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a be be installed in the back of the Rolls.

The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed looked superb, with satin sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Mini, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Mini parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside.

The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Mini. When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Mini looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me THIS?!?!