Child Abuse..Emotional...any possible avenues to prevent / lessen?

[pillenwerfer]

The US definitions can be found at http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/emotional-abuse.html

While we are Thailand they must be universal.

I witness and am moved to tears by what I regularly see here.

A single mother uses emotional blackmail to get money from me by using her 4 year old as a "hostage". I have no relationship with the mother, but have cared for him since his birth, as he was clearly unwanted.

Of course when I pay up, like all blackmail, it perpetuates.

Recently took him out of his school,( which I sponsor), which he loves for the companionship, and dumped on the bare (except for cigarette butts), dirty floor with no toys, pencils or paper as he loves to draw.The extended family and neighbours totally indifferent, some seemed to find it amusing.

This may seem trivial in the light of the emotional abuses carried out by the religious, see "Jesus Camps", but I wish to know please if there are any laws or procedures locally I might pursue to lessen/prevent such abuse.

What I don't want is that he is taken into care, (unlikely I guess), but maybe some Child Care Professionals can talk to her.

[David48]

Humm ... 'Child Abuse' ... no clear evidence from your OP.

Maybe 'Poor Parenting', especially when compared to Western Standards.

I think you are more angry with the mother of the child and the ensuing relationship.

.

[theblether]

Credit to the OP for caring.

I'm involved in assisting a young girl who's farang Dad died last year, it's left her mother in reduced circumstances. I pay her school fees at the English curriculum school as they are now unaffordable to her Mum, that's my pleasure and may I say privilege too. I know of other people that assist families here that they think are deserving of assistance and credit to all of them.

The OP is in a different situation, his kindness is being abused. He'll find solace in one word, and that is........no.

The OP has taught the mother that every time she squeezes him he pays, he has to break that cycle by saying no, it's as simple as that.

[slapout]

To the OP, the child is young so the requests are probably not large, As the child matures the price will go upward, at the mothers whim. Doubt that you can get any satisfaction via Thai authorities, but you may have to be content to personally purchase and deliver to the youngster what you deem needed/educational.

No, might seem cruel, but if your sponsor ship is being misued/diverted then the child is experiencing cruellity via the mother and certainly not being brought up with self help mentality.

[HeijoshinCool]

Buy the product, or pay for the service direct, never to the parent.

[amykat]

I think I went through a similar situation. I was attempting to adopt a child here, but the process is that they live with you, for some period (the total adoption was supposed to take 6 months, but took 2 years.) This sets you up for the extortion, because the mother doesn't sign over her rights for "some" period, I can't remember how long, but in my case, the mother needed to get divorced from the missing father first before she could.

The child was in and out of an orphanage and half the time with the grandmother, but had never lived with the mother and she was 2 when she started living with me. She didn't even know who the woman was when she came to my house the first time (after about 6 weeks) and asked me to "borrow" 50,000 baht, to also buy her a motorbike, and to pay the deposit and rent on an apartment ...she said " I don't want to sell my child BUT could you ....?"

The grandmother was with her, guiding her, proping her up while she repeatedly nodded out at my dining table because she was so high on drugs ...later she couldn't even remember being here! I said no of course and asked them to leave with the child if they felt so strongly about it. They disappeared for some time, and came back, and disappeared, and came back, and tried all sorts of games. I NEVER gave in, I NEVER even offered them free water at my house. (I had previously treated the grandmother well and she came to stay with us during a transistion period so the child wouldn't be so shocked. She stole all kinds of crap from me, took the child once and went to BKK, and then re-thought her position and brought her back.)

Anyway, at the one year point, after not showing up for court appointments and misc important things, even when I tried to drive them there, they would say "they are on their way right now ...on the road" and then not show up. After one of these events, I packed up everything I had ever bought, clothes, toys, books, child seats, whatever, and returned the child/with stuff, to them. I pretended I didn't give a damn, I showed no emotion, (I did keep paying for her school) but they often didn't take her there and she just sat at home. Too difficult to wake up so early. I left the country for 3 months, didn't call, didn't do anything. (I did have Thai friends who were checking on things and giving me reports though.)

I found as soon as my influence was gone, they had no concern about the child. It seems to me, that when the child lived a good life, had nice clothes, and toys, and private schools, they wanted to show off the child, and pretend they provided all of that, i.e. the child now had a lot more value. As well, I am sure learning English like a native (and some manners) was a good thing in their mind. Plus the child had a lot of difficulties since she had been born addicted to drugs and sick, and most of these problems were getting a lot better, with good nutrition, a regular, consistent life, good school, medical care, etc.

When I came back from my 3 month trip, the child had already been given back to me via a friend, and they met me at the airport! Another year of hell, on and off, started and in the end, I was the winner. All I can say, is that I never gave in and never gave them anything (which technically would make an adoption illegal here anyway.) My best defense, was pretending that I had no heart, (and my anger at the family helped me greatly to pull that off.) And each time they saw that I didn't seem to care, didn't call, didn't inquire, didn't pay, helped them quickly lose interest. In the end, the grandmother kidnapped her from school, after the mother had signed away her rights and the child services people did intervene, and while it still could have gone either way (something I didn't know then, thought I had reached the goal so that was very difficult to deal with) ...well at that point, I told them and everyone two things. 1) I spread a rumour, which means I told nobody the truth, that I had another, "better" girl to adopt and was getting busy with that. 2) I was going to sue them and every member of their family, to get back the money I had spent on her, for my time, a fulltime nanny for two years can't be cheap, plus private school, legal bills, food, clothes, everything ...etc, etc. I didn't even bother to check if that was possible, because my time here has taught me that almost nobody knows what the real laws are. Her family actually has money, are definitely middle class, but her mother is a drug-addict, supports her self with informal prostitution, internet scams (she in on those dating sites, so watch out) and nobody wants to deal with her, other than Yai. I think the family was on my side as well, but will never know for sure.

And viola, the child was returned to me, the adoption went through, and now she is almost 8 years old, and doing great. She just won a bunch awards at her school, even though she has some difficulties still, and as my American friend/pediatrician puts it, "some brain damage" from her mother's drug use.

I would say that you are a bit late to this game, having already given in and paying. If you are not on some formal adoption route, or something else legal, like guardianship or I don't know what else is legal here, then you will be losing this forever and your "help" might not turn out to be helpful. If you just want to pay for schools (and make sure she/he gets there) and/or provide certain luxuries, toys, time doing interesting things, they will probably be okay with that, and can't really bribe you unless it is just for visitation. But make sure you pay directly for everything, make sure they can't get a refund for school, or whatever you pay for ...make sure they keep the things and don't sell them, and if they are mysteriously gone, stop buying things. (When I was given back the girl, after my trip, they kept every single thing I had bought for her ...and I had a family member with a key let me into their condo, and I took, every single thing I could find (it wasn't all) back!) The mother almost had a heart attack and threatened to kill me! Shocking how she thought that should be hers, when I bought it all, and she gave me back the kid, and it was the kid's stuff! And let me add, that I probably had about 3 years worth of good American quality clothes/toys, because I had gotten a lot of gifts from some friends and family when I started the adoption and I had gone overboard buying things. She easily had at least $2000 worth of crap.

But I would say your BEST defence, at this point, is to do what I did. Spread a rumour that you have a new child you are interested in taking care of (Thais like this are very easily jealous/envious/ it will make them feel they have a time limit), but IF you do this, you have to make it believable to EVERYONE, and not tell ANYONE, NOT ANYONE, NOT ANYONE, I can't stress this enough, the truth! Think out your story, go to an orphanage, find a target to lie about ...and next, pretend you are over it, don't care, and also, tell this to EVERYONE you know, not only the people concerned. I hope you understand why and what I am saying. It is a game, a negotiation, and you can't trust one person in the country, to not get out the gossip, if you admit you are faking it.

I personally feel, that you might be suffering the same as I was ...the child has a LOT of value, both now and in the future, with your involvement. The child is nothing but a burden, without you. (Unless of course, the mother really has some deep feelings and does want to take care of the kid ...it is possible but not likely. Even she could be happy that she got several years for "free" and now the kid is older, easier, and whatever.) Anyway, I hope things work out for the best, and if you want to talk more, you are welcome to PM me.

Hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments!

[benalibina]

I think I went through a similar situation. I was attempting to adopt a child here, but the process is that they live with you, for some period (the total adoption was supposed to take 6 months, but took 2 years.) This sets you up for the extortion, because the mother doesn't sign over her rights for "some" period, I can't remember how long, but in my case, the mother needed to get divorced from the missing father first before she could. The child was in and out of an orphanage and half the time with the grandmother, but had never lived with the mother and she was 2 when she started living with me. She didn't even know who the woman was when she came to my house the first time (after about 6 weeks) and asked me to "borrow" 50,000 baht, to also buy her a motorbike, and to pay the deposit and rent on an apartment ...she said " I don't want to sell my child BUT could you ....?" The grandmother was with her, guiding her, proping her up while she repeatedly nodded out at my dining table because she was so high on drugs ...later she couldn't even remember being here! I said no of course and asked them to leave with the child if they felt so strongly about it. They disappeared for some time, and came back, and disappeared, and came back, and tried all sorts of games. I NEVER gave in, I NEVER even offered them free water at my house. (I had previously treated the grandmother well and she came to stay with us during a transistion period so the child wouldn't be so shocked. She stole all kinds of crap from me, took the child once and went to BKK, and then re-thought her position and brought her back.) Anyway, at the one year point, after not showing up for court appointments and misc important things, even when I tried to drive them there, they would say "they are on their way right now ...on the road" and then not show up. After one of these events, I packed up everything I had ever bought, clothes, toys, books, child seats, whatever, and returned the child/with stuff, to them. I pretended I didn't give a dam_n, I showed no emotion, (I did keep paying for her school) but they often didn't take her there and she just sat at home. Too difficult to wake up so early. I left the country for 3 months, didn't call, didn't do anything. (I did have Thai friends who were checking on things and giving me reports though.) I found as soon as my influence was gone, they had no concern about the child. It seems to me, that when the child lived a good life, had nice clothes, and toys, and private schools, they wanted to show off the child, and pretend they provided all of that, i.e. the child now had a lot more value. As well, I am sure learning English like a native (and some manners) was a good thing in their mind. Plus the child had a lot of difficulties since she had been born addicted to drugs and sick, and most of these problems were getting a lot better, with good nutrition, a regular, consistent life, good school, medical care, etc. When I came back from my 3 month trip, the child had already been given back to me via a friend, and they met me at the airport! Another year of hell, on and off, started and in the end, I was the winner. All I can say, is that I never gave in and never gave them anything (which technically would make an adoption illegal here anyway.) My best defense, was pretending that I had no heart, (and my anger at the family helped me greatly to pull that off.) And each time they saw that I didn't seem to care, didn't call, didn't inquire, didn't pay, helped them quickly lose interest. In the end, the grandmother kidnapped her from school, after the mother had signed away her rights and the child services people did intervene, and while it still could have gone either way (something I didn't know then, thought I had reached the goal so that was very difficult to deal with) ...well at that point, I told them and everyone two things. 1) I spread a rumour, which means I told nobody the truth, that I had another, "better" girl to adopt and was getting busy with that. 2) I was going to sue them and every member of their family, to get back the money I had spent on her, for my time, a fulltime nanny for two years can't be cheap, plus private school, legal bills, food, clothes, everything ...etc, etc. I didn't even bother to check if that was possible, because my time here has taught me that almost nobody knows what the real laws are. Her family actually has money, are definitely middle class, but her mother is a drug-addict, supports her self with informal prostitution, internet scams (she in on those dating sites, so watch out) and nobody wants to deal with her, other than Yai. I think the family was on my side as well, but will never know for sure. And viola, the child was returned to me, the adoption went through, and now she is almost 8 years old, and doing great. She just won a bunch awards at her school, even though she has some difficulties still, and as my American friend/pediatrician puts it, "some brain damage" from her mother's drug use. I would say that you are a bit late to this game, having already given in and paying. If you are not on some formal adoption route, or something else legal, like guardianship or I don't know what else is legal here, then you will be losing this forever and your "help" might not turn out to be helpful. If you just want to pay for schools (and make sure she/he gets there) and/or provide certain luxuries, toys, time doing interesting things, they will probably be okay with that, and can't really bribe you unless it is just for visitation. But make sure you pay directly for everything, make sure they can't get a refund for school, or whatever you pay for ...make sure they keep the things and don't sell them, and if they are mysteriously gone, stop buying things. (When I was given back the girl, after my trip, they kept every single thing I had bought for her ...and I had a family member with a key let me into their condo, and I took, every single thing I could find (it wasn't all) back!) The mother almost had a heart attack and threatened to kill me! Shocking how she thought that should be hers, when I bought it all, and she gave me back the kid, and it was the kid's stuff! And let me add, that I probably had about 3 years worth of good American quality clothes/toys, because I had gotten a lot of gifts from some friends and family when I started the adoption and I had gone overboard buying things. She easily had at least $2000 worth of crap. But I would say your BEST defence, at this point, is to do what I did. Spread a rumour that you have a new child you are interested in taking care of (Thais like this are very easily jealous/envious/ it will make them feel they have a time limit), but IF you do this, you have to make it believable to EVERYONE, and not tell ANYONE, NOT ANYONE, NOT ANYONE, I can't stress this enough, the truth! Think out your story, go to an orphanage, find a target to lie about ...and next, pretend you are over it, don't care, and also, tell this to EVERYONE you know, not only the people concerned. I hope you understand why and what I am saying. It is a game, a negotiation, and you can't trust one person in the country, to not get out the gossip, if you admit you are faking it. I personally feel, that you might be suffering the same as I was ...the child has a LOT of value, both now and in the future, with your involvement. The child is nothing but a burden, without you. (Unless of course, the mother really has some deep feelings and does want to take care of the kid ...it is possible but not likely. Even she could be happy that she got several years for "free" and now the kid is older, easier, and whatever.) Anyway, I hope things work out for the best, and if you want to talk more, you are welcome to PM me. Hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments!

Sad story, child as a weapon of..........

I cannot believe people can be so mean to cheat, lie and steal when children involved. Just cannot !

[Frogmountain]

Amykat: Great post. I'm pursuing adoption and this gives me a lot to think about.

I think I went through a similar situation. I was attempting to adopt a child here, but the process is that they live with you, for some period (the total adoption was supposed to take 6 months, but took 2 years.) This sets you up for the extortion, because the mother doesn't sign over her rights for "some" period, I can't remember how long, but in my case, the mother needed to get divorced from the missing father first before she could.

The child was in and out of an orphanage and half the time with the grandmother, but had never lived with the mother and she was 2 when she started living with me. She didn't even know who the woman was when she came to my house the first time (after about 6 weeks) and asked me to "borrow" 50,000 baht, to also buy her a motorbike, and to pay the deposit and rent on an apartment ...she said " I don't want to sell my child BUT could you ....?"

The grandmother was with her, guiding her, proping her up while she repeatedly nodded out at my dining table because she was so high on drugs ...later she couldn't even remember being here! I said no of course and asked them to leave with the child if they felt so strongly about it. They disappeared for some time, and came back, and disappeared, and came back, and tried all sorts of games. I NEVER gave in, I NEVER even offered them free water at my house. (I had previously treated the grandmother well and she came to stay with us during a transistion period so the child wouldn't be so shocked. She stole all kinds of crap from me, took the child once and went to BKK, and then re-thought her position and brought her back.)

Anyway, at the one year point, after not showing up for court appointments and misc important things, even when I tried to drive them there, they would say "they are on their way right now ...on the road" and then not show up. After one of these events, I packed up everything I had ever bought, clothes, toys, books, child seats, whatever, and returned the child/with stuff, to them. I pretended I didn't give a dam_n, I showed no emotion, (I did keep paying for her school) but they often didn't take her there and she just sat at home. Too difficult to wake up so early. I left the country for 3 months, didn't call, didn't do anything. (I did have Thai friends who were checking on things and giving me reports though.)

I found as soon as my influence was gone, they had no concern about the child. It seems to me, that when the child lived a good life, had nice clothes, and toys, and private schools, they wanted to show off the child, and pretend they provided all of that, i.e. the child now had a lot more value. As well, I am sure learning English like a native (and some manners) was a good thing in their mind. Plus the child had a lot of difficulties since she had been born addicted to drugs and sick, and most of these problems were getting a lot better, with good nutrition, a regular, consistent life, good school, medical care, etc.

When I came back from my 3 month trip, the child had already been given back to me via a friend, and they met me at the airport! Another year of hell, on and off, started and in the end, I was the winner. All I can say, is that I never gave in and never gave them anything (which technically would make an adoption illegal here anyway.) My best defense, was pretending that I had no heart, (and my anger at the family helped me greatly to pull that off.) And each time they saw that I didn't seem to care, didn't call, didn't inquire, didn't pay, helped them quickly lose interest. In the end, the grandmother kidnapped her from school, after the mother had signed away her rights and the child services people did intervene, and while it still could have gone either way (something I didn't know then, thought I had reached the goal so that was very difficult to deal with) ...well at that point, I told them and everyone two things. 1) I spread a rumour, which means I told nobody the truth, that I had another, "better" girl to adopt and was getting busy with that. 2) I was going to sue them and every member of their family, to get back the money I had spent on her, for my time, a fulltime nanny for two years can't be cheap, plus private school, legal bills, food, clothes, everything ...etc, etc. I didn't even bother to check if that was possible, because my time here has taught me that almost nobody knows what the real laws are. Her family actually has money, are definitely middle class, but her mother is a drug-addict, supports her self with informal prostitution, internet scams (she in on those dating sites, so watch out) and nobody wants to deal with her, other than Yai. I think the family was on my side as well, but will never know for sure.

And viola, the child was returned to me, the adoption went through, and now she is almost 8 years old, and doing great. She just won a bunch awards at her school, even though she has some difficulties still, and as my American friend/pediatrician puts it, "some brain damage" from her mother's drug use.

I would say that you are a bit late to this game, having already given in and paying. If you are not on some formal adoption route, or something else legal, like guardianship or I don't know what else is legal here, then you will be losing this forever and your "help" might not turn out to be helpful. If you just want to pay for schools (and make sure she/he gets there) and/or provide certain luxuries, toys, time doing interesting things, they will probably be okay with that, and can't really bribe you unless it is just for visitation. But make sure you pay directly for everything, make sure they can't get a refund for school, or whatever you pay for ...make sure they keep the things and don't sell them, and if they are mysteriously gone, stop buying things. (When I was given back the girl, after my trip, they kept every single thing I had bought for her ...and I had a family member with a key let me into their condo, and I took, every single thing I could find (it wasn't all) back!) The mother almost had a heart attack and threatened to kill me! Shocking how she thought that should be hers, when I bought it all, and she gave me back the kid, and it was the kid's stuff! And let me add, that I probably had about 3 years worth of good American quality clothes/toys, because I had gotten a lot of gifts from some friends and family when I started the adoption and I had gone overboard buying things. She easily had at least $2000 worth of crap.

But I would say your BEST defence, at this point, is to do what I did. Spread a rumour that you have a new child you are interested in taking care of (Thais like this are very easily jealous/envious/ it will make them feel they have a time limit), but IF you do this, you have to make it believable to EVERYONE, and not tell ANYONE, NOT ANYONE, NOT ANYONE, I can't stress this enough, the truth! Think out your story, go to an orphanage, find a target to lie about ...and next, pretend you are over it, don't care, and also, tell this to EVERYONE you know, not only the people concerned. I hope you understand why and what I am saying. It is a game, a negotiation, and you can't trust one person in the country, to not get out the gossip, if you admit you are faking it.

I personally feel, that you might be suffering the same as I was ...the child has a LOT of value, both now and in the future, with your involvement. The child is nothing but a burden, without you. (Unless of course, the mother really has some deep feelings and does want to take care of the kid ...it is possible but not likely. Even she could be happy that she got several years for "free" and now the kid is older, easier, and whatever.) Anyway, I hope things work out for the best, and if you want to talk more, you are welcome to PM me.

Hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments!

[pillenwerfer]

I am very grateful indeed for the advice from respondents.

A line that sticks in my mind is, "Why does he hate me so much, I've never done him any favours"

Thinking that my support may have engendered the attitude to the child and myself, I thought that if I could help the mother to improve her situation things might improve.

Two weeks ago she enrolled as an Assistant Nurse Trainee, a 6 month course, although probably little more than a glorified maid.

Cost of Course Baht45,000 plus uniforms Baht3000. She correctly said she needed daily expenses. and we mutually agreed a weekly figure.

Another reason was that she could support him after my death, although I have made a will to take care of his education and normal needs, none of the money accessible by the mother.

I gave her the 4 weeks mutually agreed "allowance", and demonstrated a behaviour principle she should follow, I cupped a quantity of water in my palm and explained that the water was value, I demonstrated that by her taking small dips, the water remained. I then squeezed my hand to demonstrate greed and all the water was gone, the opened palm showing nothing..Mot. .With my limited Thai, I felt that she had understood..Kao Jai, Kao jai ?

After one week she was banging on the door for "gin kao". I just closed the door.

So the next day after I took the child to school, she went and pulled him out.."If I not go to school, he not go to school."

I will follow the suggestion of an alternative, but will give it real flesh.

I plan to invite another single mother who I do know really cares for her children, and asks for nothing to come to my place, and am really going to leave it to her in my will. I might imply that she will be the trustee for my will, although that will not be true.

Unfortunately I am suffering mental stress over this issue, being close to a nervous breakdown, after the latest incident, the culmination of 4 years stress.

I am not a weakling, survived the Blitz, saw action in National Service and played Rugby for the Army, but this is ..............

It is also obvious that others have overcome greater struggles, so I appreciate the "Never Give Up".

[wooloomooloo]

I gave her the 4 weeks mutually agreed "allowance", and demonstrated a behaviour principle she should follow, I cupped a quantity of water in my palm and explained that the water was value, I demonstrated that by her taking small dips, the water remained. I then squeezed my hand to demonstrate greed and all the water was gone, the opened palm showing nothing..Mot. .With my limited Thai, I felt that she had understood..Kao Jai, Kao jai ?

After one week she was banging on the door for "gin kao". I just closed the door.

It's no surprise she's banging on the door as she's probably concerned about your state of mind.

Though, amazed she came back after being patronised to death after asking for rice.

[pillenwerfer]

"It's no surprise she's banging on the door as she's probably concerned about your state of mind.

Though, amazed she came back after being patronised to death after asking for rice".

Her family run a food stall.

[David48]

Unfortunately I am suffering mental stress over this issue, being close to a nervous breakdown, after the latest incident, the culmination of 4 years stress.

I am not a weakling, survived the Blitz, saw action in National Service and played Rugby for the Army, but this is ..............

It is also obvious that others have overcome greater struggles, so I appreciate the "Never Give Up".

Seems like you are indeed having the rough end of the pineapple.

May I ask is this your (biological) child?

Just that you write "A single mother uses emotional blackmail to get money from me by using her 4 year old as a "hostage""

'her' child ... not 'our' child

.

.

[pillenwerfer]

"May I ask is this your (biological) child?

Just that you write "A single mother uses emotional blackmail to get money from me by using her 4 year old as a "hostage""

'her' child ... not 'our' child"

The father is a runaway, although perhaps he is still around .

[David48]

"May I ask is this your (biological) child?

Just that you write "A single mother uses emotional blackmail to get money from me by using her 4 year old as a "hostage""

'her' child ... not 'our' child"

The father is a runaway, although perhaps he is still around .

Thanks for the reply ... that does put a slightly different perspective on it.

Would there be about a 40 year age difference between you and the mother of this child?

Presuming so, do you think that the Generational and Cultural differences might contribute to why you consider or assume that the child is being abused?

We can feel the conviction and passion that you feel for this child (and credit to you for that) ... but I'm still trying to comprehend the 'abused child' claim.

I can, however see that the mother might be milking your parental feelings though.

.

Edited July 10, 2013 by David48

[amykat]

I gave her the 4 weeks mutually agreed "allowance", and demonstrated a behaviour principle she should follow, I cupped a quantity of water in my palm and explained that the water was value, I demonstrated that by her taking small dips, the water remained. I then squeezed my hand to demonstrate greed and all the water was gone, the opened palm showing nothing..Mot. .With my limited Thai, I felt that she had understood..Kao Jai, Kao jai ?

After one week she was banging on the door for "gin kao". I just closed the door.

It's no surprise she's banging on the door as she's probably concerned about your state of mind.

Though, amazed she came back after being patronised to death after asking for rice.

Hey Woomooloo..whatever ...I think you are really out of line with your comments!! I understand what you mean, in a way, but attacking the Op's state of mind ...have you ever taken care of a child for 4 years, knowing it can be taken back at any time, etc?? Maybe the OP hasn't gone about everything the best way, but maybe he didn't understand, the "Thai Way" i.e. instead of being extremely grateful that someone is supporting your child, taking care of your child as a parent, supporting you as well, sending you to school, etc, they treat you like some shit stuck to their shoe, who should pay them, over and over again, for the inconvenience of being shit stuck to their shoe!!

A person in this situation, does not deserve the standard TV contempt, for being an idiot, with his 40 year younger, stunning bar girl, that he married. (Even I don't think those guys deserve the contempt they often get, but whatever!)

Many, many people, the worldwide, are exposed to some vulnerable situations when attemtping to adopt a child. Fathers come back from the dead, ladies change their mind, some minority group (like American Indians) decide to enforce their tribal laws, there are many things that can happen.

Why would you want to kick a man who is down in a situation like this?? REALLY?? And do you really think the lady can't get some God damn RICE?? You really need to be a retarded, physically handicapped person, to not be able to "to get some rice" in Thailand, these days. And if you are such a person, you are probably doing well selling lottery tickets somewhere. Since she was given money for school, for living expenses, etc, you really have no leg to stand on ..she blew the money, or maybe didn't ...maybe she is a good saver and it is all in the bank, but nevertheless, she is asking for more. What is new there?? She is seeing an opportunity to scam someone, to screw over her child, and she takes it, is this something you have never seen here????

I mean, really, you deserve -10 for your comments, and a general ban from human companionship if this is the type of person you are! Have a nice day!

[benalibina]

Well written young lady. Should have more women like you in the world.

[amykat]

Thank you so much Benalibina!! And sorry to hear you are having problems in this area lately. I wish you much success, strength, and happiness ...and for your kids also!

[amykat]

Dear Pillenwerfer,

Any updates for us? I'm thinking about you and wondering how things are going??