Trapped, And Feeling Enslaved.....

[EyesWideOpen]

I may have stayed in Thailand too long.....I first saw this headline, and thought the story would be about a farang trapped in an Isan village being milked dry by the family . :-)

[IMA_FARANG]

Yes.

Many Thai women don't understand the culture of "a night out with me mates in the Pub" in England.

They are confused by it, and they may feel that the fact their husband wants a few drinks with the boys means their husband is not interested in them any longer.

And that goes double if the wife was once a bar girl .... and there are women in the Pub.

For both husband and wife, it's like walking in a minefield in many cases.

Even with the best intentions on both sides, you BOTH have got to watch where your stepping.

[chiang mai]

She went on to say that there were some seriously bad women knocking about too, she finds it laughable that guys couldn't suss out that marrying a prostitute was a high risk strategy.

Most foreigners in Thailand (including you, methinks) has very little idea who is and who isn't (or wasn't) a prostitute.

(Not that it makes a great difference in the failure or success of a marriage IMHO)

Unbelievable that you would come out with something like that, or perhaps not!

[theblether]

Well after having read most of this, doing a few back-searches, and even putting in a few comments, my question is: Who the h-ll is Mercedes Girl and why should anything she says be given even the least amount of credibility?

Mercedes Girl is a naturalized British citizen who has lived in the UK for 23 years. I'm pretty sure she's qualified to comment on this issue.

Next.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Well after having read most of this, doing a few back-searches, and even putting in a few comments, my question is: Who the h-ll is Mercedes Girl and why should anything she says be given even the least amount of credibility?

Mercedes Girl is a naturalized British citizen who has lived in the UK for 23 years. I'm pretty sure she's qualified to comment on this issue.

Next.

Can an imaginary friend qualify to make comments?

[JLCrab]

Oh -- Kinda like Harvey the Rabbit

[Morakot]

Well after having read most of this, doing a few back-searches, and even putting in a few comments, my question is: Who the h-ll is Mercedes Girl and why should anything she says be given even the least amount of credibility?

Mercedes Girl is a naturalized British citizen who has lived in the UK for 23 years. I'm pretty sure she's qualified to comment on this issue.

Next.

Can an imaginary friend qualify to make comments?

Appreciate the story for what it is and give the man some respect for the good yarn!

Edited July 15, 2013 by Morakot

[soi41]

Well after having read most of this, doing a few back-searches, and even putting in a few comments, my question is: Who the h-ll is Mercedes Girl and why should anything she says be given even the least amount of credibility?

Mercedes Girl is a naturalized British citizen who has lived in the UK for 23 years. I'm pretty sure she's qualified to comment on this issue.

Next.

The very same girl, who you yesterday described in 2 different topics, as "who can be bothered with brain damage".

After a good nights sleep , the very same lady suddenly is an authority on Thais living in the UK?

[chiang mai]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

[JLCrab]

BTW just for the record, plot synopsis Harvey (1950) c/o WikiPedia:

Elwood P. Dowd (James Stewart) is a middle-aged, amiable (and somewhat eccentric) individual whose best friend is an invisible 6' 3.5" tall rabbit named Harvey. As described by Dowd, Harvey is a pooka, a benign but mischievous creature from Celtic mythology who is especially fond of social outcasts (like Elwood).

[Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" – she always called me Elwood – "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.] — James Stewart as Elwood P. Dowd

[David48]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

.

[theblether]

Well after having read most of this, doing a few back-searches, and even putting in a few comments, my question is: Who the h-ll is Mercedes Girl and why should anything she says be given even the least amount of credibility?

Mercedes Girl is a naturalized British citizen who has lived in the UK for 23 years. I'm pretty sure she's qualified to comment on this issue.

Next.

The very same girl, who you yesterday described in 2 different topics, as "who can be bothered with brain damage".

After a good nights sleep , the very same lady suddenly is an authority on Thais living in the UK?

Just because I don't want to marry her doesn't mean she hasn't got a valid opinion on Thai / Farang marriages in the UK.

Next ( again )

[theblether]

By the way JLCrab, I'll be in Isaan later this week, you fancy meeting for a beer?

[JLCrab]

By the way JLCrab, I'll be in Isaan later this week, you fancy meeting for a beer?

Sure -- you can have a beer -- I'll go for soDAH with lime. PM

[chiang mai]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

.

I reckon the country of settlement, in the case of the UK, is the biggest most obvious obstacle, not really knowing your partner outside of a brief holiday environement is obviously a variable that is high risk.

As for where the Thai partner stays after the split: my guess would be that the vast majority head back to Thailand, it's the in-country equivelent of going back to the village. I'm sure that a small percentage find other things to do but ultimately a return to basics is on the cards.

As an aside: like many other expats here I have toyed with the idea of taking my Thai wife back to the UK and indeed we have been for holidays, we were even granted a settlement visa three years ago that we never executed, I just couldn't do it to the woman, it would be criminally unfair and she's far too nice of a person to have to suffer that sort of treatment. BTW, we've been together for nine years.

[David48]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

... not really knowing your partner outside of a brief holiday environment is obviously a variable that is high risk.

This part of the equation, I have never understood ...

[Stradavarius37]

My father always said - the best question to ask yourself of a proposed partner when thinking of marriage is "Will I have anything to talk to this person about 30 years from now, sitting around the breakfast table". Worked pretty well in finding my own partner, but I have a feeling that many TV'ers in relationships don't have anything to talk to their partners about today. (or can't due to the language barrier)

[robblok]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

... not really knowing your partner outside of a brief holiday environment is obviously a variable that is high risk.

This part of the equation, I have never understood ...

That is a joke yes David ?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

My father always said - the best question to ask yourself of a proposed partner when thinking of marriage is "Will I have anything to talk to this person about 30 years from now, sitting around the breakfast table". Worked pretty well in finding my own partner, but I have a feeling that many TV'ers in relationships don't have anything to talk to their partners about today. (or can't due to the language barrier)

I think 30 years is a bit optimistic for a relationship these days.

5-10 years tops before I need to trade in.

As for 'talking', that's what TV forums is for.

[chiang mai]

I reckon the OP 's friend, real or otherwise is spot on, regardless of which it is the OP's point is very well made.

But it would be slightly more entertaining to see it put the other way around, instead of Ms Mercedes perhaps we could have a Mr Astra or similar, hmmm, pleanty of scope there!

[hellodolly]

I know a lot of western guys who are in a similar situation here,so it seems it works both ways.

You mean their Thai wife's won't let them leave the country to visit their family?

[chonabot]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

.

I reckon the country of settlement, in the case of the UK, is the biggest most obvious obstacle, not really knowing your partner outside of a brief holiday environement is obviously a variable that is high risk.

As for where the Thai partner stays after the split: my guess would be that the vast majority head back to Thailand, it's the in-country equivelent of going back to the village. I'm sure that a small percentage find other things to do but ultimately a return to basics is on the cards.

As an aside: like many other expats here I have toyed with the idea of taking my Thai wife back to the UK and indeed we have been for holidays, we were even granted a settlement visa three years ago that we never executed, I just couldn't do it to the woman, it would be criminally unfair and she's far too nice of a person to have to suffer that sort of treatment. BTW, we've been together for nine years.

Horse for courses, I've been married over 16 years and my wife definitely prefers it here to Thailand.

We've just returned from 2 years in Kalasin and now live in Fort William, Scotland. Perhaps the way Thai people

are treated by their spouse is more important than they way their host/guest country treats them?

[stoneyboy]

I know a lot of western guys who are in a similar situation here,so it seems it works both ways.

You mean their Thai wife's won't let them leave the country to visit their family?

No they have given all they have to their Thai wives and family's and can no longer afford to go home.

I know of one guy who lived in a garden shed because his home was taken over by his immediate Thai family.

And another on 6 year overstay who sells kebabs at the local fairs and markets to scrape a living,not my idea of living the dream.

[hellodolly]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

.

I reckon the country of settlement, in the case of the UK, is the biggest most obvious obstacle, not really knowing your partner outside of a brief holiday environement is obviously a variable that is high risk.

As for where the Thai partner stays after the split: my guess would be that the vast majority head back to Thailand, it's the in-country equivelent of going back to the village. I'm sure that a small percentage find other things to do but ultimately a return to basics is on the cards.

As an aside: like many other expats here I have toyed with the idea of taking my Thai wife back to the UK and indeed we have been for holidays, we were even granted a settlement visa three years ago that we never executed, I just couldn't do it to the woman, it would be criminally unfair and she's far too nice of a person to have to suffer that sort of treatment. BTW, we've been together for nine years.

I would like to take my wife back to the States and Canada to visit my family and friends. But I think after three weeks she would be climbing the walls. But I did find they have a Thai community center in Seattle.

In the little city 100,000 people I lived in when I left Canada I only met 1 Thai lady. She had been back to visit Thailand a couple of times. She told me that there was only one other Thai in the city that she knew about and the lady was not happy. She said her boy was 17 and when he graduated high school they were moving back permanently to Thailand.

[chiang mai]

Off the top of my head I would imagine that better than 90% of Thai/farang marriages fail within three years where the Thai partner is required to live in the UK, the odds against it being sucessfull must be woefully poor - climate, distance from Thai family, diet, racial attitudes, the biggest reason perhaps is the fact that the two parties to the marriage will probably not have known each other for very long, outside of a few months initial holiday in Thailand, it's a recipie for failure from the outset for the desparate.

Where do you think the Thai partner of that failed relationship then lives?

Remains in the UK ... or returns to Thailand?

Is it the spouse or the country of settlement that divides them?

.

I reckon the country of settlement, in the case of the UK, is the biggest most obvious obstacle, not really knowing your partner outside of a brief holiday environement is obviously a variable that is high risk.

As for where the Thai partner stays after the split: my guess would be that the vast majority head back to Thailand, it's the in-country equivelent of going back to the village. I'm sure that a small percentage find other things to do but ultimately a return to basics is on the cards.

As an aside: like many other expats here I have toyed with the idea of taking my Thai wife back to the UK and indeed we have been for holidays, we were even granted a settlement visa three years ago that we never executed, I just couldn't do it to the woman, it would be criminally unfair and she's far too nice of a person to have to suffer that sort of treatment. BTW, we've been together for nine years.

Horse for courses, I've been married over 16 years and my wife definitely prefers it here to Thailand.

We've just returned from 2 years in Kalasin and now live in Fort William, Scotland. Perhaps the way Thai people

are treated by their spouse is more important than they way their host/guest country treats them?

I agree that's an obvious plus and I'm really happy that yours is an exception to my earlier statement.

[chiang mai]

I know a lot of western guys who are in a similar situation here,so it seems it works both ways.

You mean their Thai wife's won't let them leave the country to visit their family?

No they have given all they have to their Thai wives and family's and can no longer afford to go home.

I know of one guy who lived in a garden shed because his home was taken over by his immediate Thai family.

And another on 6 year overstay who sells kebabs at the local fairs and markets to scrape a living,not my idea of living the dream.

You'll forgive me for saying so and I realise it's harsh, but such people shouldn't be granted visa's in the first place.

[theblether]

I'm a wee bit offended that some of you think that Mercedes Girl is not a real person.

Sniff.

[ava15]

Why are people in this thread so against taking their wives to wherever it is they call(ed) home, even for a visit?

Just interested.

[ava15]

I'm a wee bit offended that some of you think that Mercedes Girl is not a real person. 

 

 

 

Sniff.   

Why is she called Mercedes Girl? Why not just 'my friend' or similar! Unless she's got an account here I guess.

[David48]

I'm a wee bit offended that some of you think that Mercedes Girl is not a real person.

Sniff.

A photo may extinguish any doubts ...

.