Moaning Xpats

[rai57000]

I have been in Chiang rai for a long time now and after reading this page for years I thought I would join in and ask a few questions of what people really think?

Why when you go out for a beer and a bit of food do you get moan after moan from xpats who have a fantastic life compared to people living on the bread line in US, UK Aus, and many places world wide.. Example.

It is too hot, too cold, the foods not western enough, the beers not as good as back home, the traffic is too busy, Chiang rai is not what it was, the bars are empty, no night life, nothing to do, I hate him over there and her over there, the Thai people are cheats, they just don't understand what I want(after 15 small beers), quality of everything I buy is not as good as back home, It is just so boring and horrible to here this not all the time but you get it 1 or 2 times a week off people who have been here YEARS, Please go home and stop moaning on and on about a place where you live and most of us LOVE... Rant over...

[Fiddlesticks]

The best way to curb the groaning and complaining is to continuously emphasize the positives (and there are many)! Telling them to go home is not the answer, they need to be "enlightened" (no Buddhist thing intended here). I think that is what our forum attempts to do everyday and I think all the posters do a very good job of it. When meeting the occasional groaner in the wild, counter their gripes with evidences of the good you know to be here in CR. Encourage the groaners to contribute here on TV and share their insights with others. If they become too negative, I am sure that there will be many who will gladly enumerate 10 goods for every negative.

I am not saying there are not negatives! Heck, even Hawaii is not perfect! But by and large, CR is a wonderful town with wonderful sights and many wonderful things to see and do. Don't believe it? Just read the many posts on this CR forum.

So to the groaners, I say, "Stay!" "Look around with your eyes open!" "Do it in the early day before visiting your favorite watering hole." " "Share with us your insights, photos and feelings about this beautiful province." Find a Thai person in the wild and show them and smile and share a hello with them."

Finally, let them who are perfect, who are faultless, cast stones. Me thinks there will be no broken windows!

[teddysbuttons]

I stand corrected Good Reply !

[villagefarang]

We normally meet people for lunch and never encounter the kind of negativity or moans you are referring to. I am not sure but perhaps it has something to do with bar culture or the kind of people one may choose to spend time with. There are plenty of positive people out there but one needs to be a little selective.

I agree with Fiddlestick, that this forum has turned into a very positive place. The negativity of the past seems to be a distant memory. I don’t share his optimism at being able to change people’s outlook on life, or even Chiang Rai, but one can choose to spend time with people who are less negative, confrontational or conspiratorial in their outlook.

[somtampet]

I have been in Chiang rai for a long time now and after reading this page for years I thought I would join in and ask a few questions of what people really think?

Why when you go out for a beer and a bit of food do you get moan after moan from xpats who have a fantastic life compared to people living on the bread line in US, UK Aus, and many places world wide.. Example.

It is too hot, too cold, the foods not western enough, the beers not as good as back home, the traffic is too busy, Chiang rai is not what it was, the bars are empty, no night life, nothing to do, I hate him over there and her over there, the Thai people are cheats, they just don't understand what I want(after 15 small beers), quality of everything I buy is not as good as back home, It is just so boring and horrible to here this not all the time but you get it 1 or 2 times a week off people who have been here YEARS, Please go home and stop moaning on and on about a place where you live and most of us LOVE... Rant over...

Thats nothing

u want here some on a forum called thaivisa,they are incredible,so funny too

[villagefarang]

Sometimes it is best to just look at the attitude of others as little more than entertaining and not getting too worked up by what they say.

Take for example the infrastructure improvements which are being made around Chiang Rai. Clearly improvements need to be made as the population grows, but no matter when they do it, some will think it is a conspiracy and they are doing it all wrong and for all the wrong reasons.

Some will no doubt say, you can’t do it during the rainy season because it is raining. You can’t do it during the hot season because it is too hot. You can’t do it during the tourist season because there are tourists.

To make improvements they often need to tear up a perfectly good road to get at what lies beneath the road and yes there will be short-term pain to achieve a longterm gain.

Others complain that our small rural town doesn’t have the kinds of parks one might find in some large urban centers. What is overlooked is the large number of national parks and forest areas nearby. There are many places where you can get down by the river or walk up to a waterfall. There are hilltop temples, hot springs and a very popular recreational area in the form of the old airport, which is well utilized by the citizens of Chiang Rai.

School sports facilities, golf courses, sports stadiums and endless dirt trails and roads to ride a bike on, are ignored by some but treasured by others. No matter what you say or do there will be those who see the positive and those who see the negative, that is just the way it is. One does have the freedom to choose who one hangs out with, however.

[rai57000]

Maybe Vilagefarang is correct and maybe it is the bar culture but that do,s account for all the moaning you here at the likes of Big C. Central Plazza. Local supermarkets. Saturday markets or even out there playing golf?..

Maybe they should just compare there life to for example a 60 year old person living back in the Western world with what amounts to as little as £10 to live on after paying all the weekly bills and just thank god for what they have and remember just how lucky they really are to live in such a beautiful place as Chiang Rai...

[scorpio1945]

I think some people over react to people on here WISHING things were different or better. Nothing wrong with that as I see it. I have a number of things I have on that list but it does not mean I am not quite content with the overall situation. Quite different from complaining or whining. I think writing it in a forum amplifies the meaning somewhat. Not that there are not a few sourpusses on here occasionally.

Sent from my GT-P5113 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[orchis]

talk to optimistic people.

[pomchop]

Actually the biggest whiners I know in CR don't even drink....maybe that is why they seem so miserable? Just kidding.

Throughout life and traveling around the world there are always those positive optimistic types who go into a place or a situation and think let me see what I can find to enjoy or LIKE about this place...and almost invariably they have fun and enjoy themselves....others seem to go to the same places with the attitude let me see what I can find that I don't like or can complain about this place and they run into problem after problem.

I do think Thai people are pretty good at determining if you are a positive or a negative person fairly quickly and it certainly seems to me that if they label you as a whiner/negative then that you will typically get lousy service, get overcharged, and generally get treated in a way to make you say " see I told you all thais are a bunch of lying cheating scum". If on the other hand Thais determine that you are a positive happy person you will have much fewer problems, overcharges, etc...in fact you will have more FUN and the Thais will join in to make it even more FUN.

Fortunately I have generally been able to find something good about most places I have been and "MOST" people I have met......As for the whiners I do at least attempt to change the subject the minute they start down the negative path. I really don't want to hear it whether it is about how screwed up Thailand or USA or pick a people or country are from some farang that doesn't seem capable of understanding that the world doesn't revolve around him. I fully suspect that the negative nellies when they go back to their home country for a visit tell all their friends there how wonderful Thailand is and what a piece of crap their home country has become.

Most everyone can get down and out from time to time but if it has become a daily feature in your life you might want to see if you can change your attitude.

Ok enough of MY whining about the whiners.

[VBF]

talk to optimistic people.

Whose glasses are half full, as opposed to half empty! Seriously there are always people who WANT to find fault - they will often be the ones who are never happy but also never prepared to change - you get them everywhere - even in Paradise!

To paraphrase Wilbur Smith "Avoid the company of losers, for their despair is contagious"

[Iamemjay]

Thankyou guys for the healthy positivism shown here - in my experience, extremely rare in Thaivisa.com forums. Maybe, its because I don't usually read the CR section, but the usually tripe (gone decidedly off!) served up on Thaivisa.com is so disappointing! I relish healthy debate, but not the moaning and groaning - the "go home where you belong" inducing stuff.

I've even noticed that the occasional person who makes a valiant attempt to turn the negativity around often gets verbally punished for his efforts, so anxious are they to remain negative.- but have you noticed that in this thread the moaners have been unusually silent?

So congratulations! As for me - and i don't even live in CR (I'm in rural CM) - I LOVE living in Thailand. Retiring to this wonderful country and its people 8 years ago was the very best career decision I ever made. If I found a country that was perfect, I would spoil it immediately by moving there, so who am I to complain about the "faults"?

[Thai at Heart]

Have you ever tried asking your wife

"Why do they do it that way?"

Why did they put the road there/here/?

Etc etc

There is often no rhyme or reason.

Being intellectually curious and being bemused as to why, leads to moaning.

[Gsxrnz]

I've stopped trying to convert the moaners and whingers whether on TV or face to face.

If I come across somebody new who wants to bend my ear and start listing the 47,000 things they see wrong with Thailand/Thais/home/life/wife/beer/infrastructure/politics, ad infinitum, I vote with my feet and tell them I have to be somewhere else.

Unless they're buying the beer......but even then it's just too depressing for words!

The worse ones are those that forget that many of the Thai people within earshot can understand what they're saying, and don't even try and be discreet in their criticism. Often I can see that the Thais can understand what's being said, and believe me, they don't like it and will talk to each other about what the Falang is saying.

It's bad enough in a bar or restaurant - the staff have been exposed to it and are more tolerant. But to see the reactions from ordinary Thais at the golf course or somewhere like that - they are clearly unimpressed and any negative stereotypes they may have of Europeans living in Thailand are just reinforced.

[skippybangkok]

Yeh, tons of them. Must be Brits, we are used to them in Oz.....

[DonaldBattles]

I waited 30 years before I could retire and move to Chiang Rai. I fell in love with the place the first time I came here 25 years ago. After having worked and lived in 9 provinces in Thailand and worked in 30 countries there is no better quality of life for me than here. The only time I complain is to the cook for putting too much wonderful food on my plate.

For the cry babies and bellyachers here, they have never had it so good. You don't have to worry about them going home because with their pensions they would starve at home but here eat like a king..

[johnlandy]

I waited 30 years before I could retire and move to Chiang Rai. I fell in love with the place the first time I came here 25 years ago. After having worked and lived in 9 provinces in Thailand and worked in 30 countries there is no better quality of life for me than here. The only time I complain is to the cook for putting too much wonderful food on my plate.

For the cry babies and bellyachers here, they have never had it so good. You don't have to worry about them going home because with their pensions they would starve at home but here eat like a king..

'eat like a king..' Don't know 'where you eat OR what you eat' or whether your name is Carlos Slim but if your diet is other than rice, noodles, som tam, the realm is not a cheap place for food.

And other than complain to the cook for your blossoming waistline change your watering hole.

Other than that be willing to listen to people who want to sound off and, have not got their collective heads in the sand.

[Kayahammer]

I've been here 15 years and do not associate or listen to moaners. Easily avoided, and easily ignored. Some people don't know how good they've got it and even those who do sometimes moan. Some people are born moaners. F them

[Dararasmi]

Valid topic, OP. However, and you may not be aware of this, there actually are people living in the US, UK, Australia, and the rest of the western world who are in good financial shape and are happy with their lives.

[personchester]

As is well known many people have different opinions on their residential quality matters and it is a bit silly when those matters are discussed in bars.

Individuals hearing those matters should not worry about it, they should analyze the contents of the discussion and then reach their own opinion on those matters, and no advice is needed.

[Ace of Pop]

I've been here 15 years and do not associate or listen to moaners. Easily avoided, and easily ignored. Some people don't know how good they've got it and even those who do sometimes moan. Some people are born moaners. F them

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................That sounds like a Moan to Me. .Some Moaners are quite funny.

[maprao]

Expats moan all over the world! Especially Brits. Don't mix with them easily fixed.

ps not attacking Brits ..just my opinion having been working overseas for over a decade now having first started as an expat 22 years ago. They will never change.

Edited August 4, 2013 by maprao

[Bagwan]

talk to optimistic people.

Whose glasses are half full, as opposed to half empty! Seriously there are always people who WANT to find fault - they will often be the ones who are never happy but also never prepared to change - you get them everywhere - even in Paradise!

To paraphrase Wilbur Smith "Avoid the company of losers, for their despair is contagious"

I heartily endorse the punch line. Most of the moaners and whiners are more angry with themselves than Thailand, but cannot face up and admit to themselves that this is so. Maybe they incessantly moan to bolster the lack of self esteem which they have for making a complete cods of their lives.

Playing the devil's advocate, it is worth bearing in mind that we'd all be living in caves and wearing animal skins unless the dissatisfied had voiced their opinions and reservations about the status quo. Unfortunately the vast majority of the less than enchanted do not address themselves to finding and pointing out better alternatives.

[Toscano]

I have lived in a few different places ; I find that wherever you are people complain about something , the weather is a very popular subject .
In Britain , it rains too much , in thailand it's too hot . Complaining is the most customary way of starting a conversation .
There is indeed much that one could complain about ; so why not go back to one's own country , or could it be that there is even more to complain about there .
When I make an adverse remark about Thailand ; my wife say " Go back to your own country ". I say " I will " ; then she recall that there won't be my pension to draw on , so she tells me how much she loves me and please don't go . I am very selective of my friends , I don't drink in bars , so I rarely meet falangs .
Of those I do meet with hard luck stories , they are often very naive and have brought their troubles on themselves .
At 76 years my experience is that it doesn't matter where you live , life is pretty much the same , there are good aspects and bad ones , you just have to go with the flow and make the best of it .

[khunsuar]

Over the years I have found that people seem to bring whatever it was about their original place with them. Were your neighbors a surly lot? Did they gossip cheat and steal? Well, then that is what you will find here. Were your neighbors kind considerate and helpful? Ditto. Everyone brings their notions with them. Complaining and being negative are the easiest things to do in the world. No effort required. Want to make a positive difference? Then you will have to work at it. For once that phrase " up to you" is pointedly correct.

[villagefarang]

Some will say that being negative and moaning helps to relieve their stress and helps them unwind. I am of the opinion that it does the opposite and winds you up even tighter. The pathways in our brains are reinforced through repetition. The more anger you express the better your brain gets at being angry.

The old adage about the power of positive thought, according to modern neuroscience and notions of brain plasticity, doesn’t seem to be far off. Smiling may feel uncomfortable at first but give it a try and you may end up liking it.

[orosee]

I don't get it. If you don't like moaners, go back to your own country if you think people there don't moan.

Moaning is what makes Thailand and TV so great (and there may even be a sexual pun hidden here). Why don't you just focus on your good things in life instead of moaning about moaners (calling something a rant is still just moaning in an angry fashion.

[pgrahmm]

Not much of a bar/pub person so I don't experience much of this and if I go to one it's more about the atmosphere & watching the pretty gals - which I deem a positve pastime.......

I've rarely seen it happen when going out to eat.

I don't waste my time around negative people...they are energy leaks that get comfort somehow spreading the ministry of misery.....

Life is too short...

[Ace of Pop]

As for Brits Moaning,look what handouts have done to kept the Ethnic Brits poor.They have good reason.

[marell]

A lot of 'moaning Xpats' are complaining about life...period. It doen't matter where they live; there will be things to be dissatisfied with anywhere. It seems some people subconsciously think that moving to Thailand will solve all the things they don't like about life in general. Doesn't work as nowhere is perfect and problems are part of life. The only real answer is to concentrate on the upside and minimize the downside. Happiness is not an accident or a necessary function of where you live...it's mostly a matter of choice.

Edited August 4, 2013 by marell