Why is it so hard to find a good man in Bangkok as a female farang?

[Slappz]

Coming from a male perspective - I think Western women should make sure they are not in denial that competition is higher in Asia than back home. An attractive male is going to get promptly hit on and asked "Do you have a girlfriend" every day they live in Thailand. If your trying to play a passive flirting game and wait to be approached by these guys which is sometimes standard in the West then you may be missing out on a lot of men. What I'm trying to say is be aggressive and go after what you want, I think you'll find more success with this approach Hope that helps a bit!

[manarak]

I would say that the biggest reason why it is difficult for foreign ladies to meet men in Thailand ( foreign man for sure) is because of so many young Thai ladies who are willing to date men much older than them. Also, many of these Thai ladies are educated ( not talking about the bar girls) and have full time jobs. They may not be able to communicate at the same level as a foreign lady but when they do, in general, they are sweet and speak softly. As we western men have had our fill of the loud, know it all western ladies (not all) we find this very attractive. We are willing to forgo the intellectual stimulation for the young sweet loving attention that is given by Thai ladies.

If however you are a foreign lady who is in the top 10 percent in the looks department you will be able to find men here in Thailand same as any place in the world. For the other 90% I would suggest being yourself but perhaps lowing your voice and being a little more sweet. Also, give that older guy a chance... he may be much better than you think.

Sorry if I crossed the line any where but I am telling you like it really is, maybe not for all men but for most I promise you.....good luck ladies, I hope you find that special guy ))

One more thing..... don't sleep around... no guy wants an easy girl...word gets out quickly and its a small world..... a good guy will not want you no matter how lovely you are.

Why can't men treat women as equals.Why should women have to change to suit what we want.Personally i dont care how loud anybody speaks,as long as it's not BS.As to "sleeping around" that is none of your business,consensual sex is not a crime and should be enjoyed.A lot of men like to control women and you seem to be one of them.

Using double sexual standards is classic sexism. It really is akin to lopping off a child's clitoris, a less extreme manner of misogyny.

Why are we going backwards ? Too busy cleaning house ?

Men and women are equal in spirit, equals in rights, but since men and women think differently and usually want different things, they are in fact different.

The core of the problem is: most men like casual sex, women don't, and this makes it mission impossible for the average guy to find **** in western countries, where women like to play hard to get.

So in the western world, many men go into improbable contorsions for pleasing a potential mating partner - who posted above that women should not have to change themselves to please men?

Edited August 14, 2013 by sbk
crude comment removed

[MisterMan]

I'm actually a woman.. and want to say 3 weeks ago I did get married to an amazing western man who appreciates my intelligence, conversation and sense of humour which do go far at least in his eyes. I was ready to leave Thailand after 13 years as I did not want to be in my mid 40's and single, here.
He is amazing! He grew up in Asia and is not interested in Asian women in general.
For the record I, at least in America, I can still turn a head or 2 and am not hairy, fat and overweight.
And of course my family do not want a single baht from him. We both have integrity and appreciate that about each other.

My advice to ladies?? GO OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO PERHAPS is NOT your type!!!!!

I am madly in love but yet he is not the TYPE I ever thought I would be with yet I am totally in love. We are soo well suited for each other.
So yes it can happen!!!!

8 years ago I did a blog about being an expat girl in a sex pat world and the dire situation. A year ago I was planning to move back to America.

3 weeks ago I got married to someone I met at a regatta in Phuket. To someone I did not want to go on the first "date" with because he was "not my type".

Be open!! Have fun. Date. Be positive. Good luck. !!!!

Edited August 13, 2013 by MisterMan

[Patsycat]

So, you all got burned by your western wife? Bla bla bla. Got divorced in the West, went out to a singles bar and the ladies were bored by your story? Wonder why?

Big idea!! I'll fly over to that there country called Thailand and get me a purty one. That i can't talk to. But shure as hell i am the bees knees. With my fat gut and sandals with socks. I'm in heaven... We get married cos we are so lurved up and i spend all my money on her...

Then shit hits the fan. I no luv you. You are out on the street.

Western women do not do that. If you are so negative about western women - Hey, divorce takes two people and i would guess that the men involved were not exactly squeeky clean either.

Sorry, my feminazi side came out if its hibernation.

utter disgusting post about thai

Oh yeah, and this thread is about Western Women and not you.

I do respect thai women,jeez. Otherwise the nasty lady mods would have buggered me off years ago.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Patsycat

[sustento]

So, you all got burned by your western wife? Bla bla bla. Got divorced in the West, went out to a singles bar and the ladies were bored by your story? Wonder why?

Big idea!! I'll fly over to that there country called Thailand and get me a purty one. That i can't talk to. But shure as hell i am the bees knees. With my fat gut and sandals with socks. I'm in heaven... We get married cos we are so lurved up and i spend all my money on her...

Then shit hits the fan. I no luv you. You are out on the street.

Western women do not do that. If you are so negative about western women - Hey, divorce takes two people and i would guess that the men involved were not exactly squeeky clean either.

Sorry, my feminazi side came out if its hibernation.

utter disgusting post about thai

Oh yeah, and this thread is about Western Women and not you.

I do respect thai women,jeez. Otherwise the nasty lady mods would have buggered me off years ago.

You tell 'em Pats

[Sheryl]

Men and women are equal in spirit, equals in rights, but since men and women think differently and usually want different things, they are in fact different.

The core of the problem is: most men like casual sex, women don't, and this makes it mission impossible for the average guy to find **** in western countries, where women like to play hard to get.

So in the western world, many men go into improbable contorsions for pleasing a potential mating partner - who posted above that women should not have to change themselves to please men?

What some men interpret as "playing hard ot get" that is simply women needing time to know a man before they know whether or not they are attracted to him. Most women are not sexualy attracted based solely on physical appearance, so just seeing what a man looks like is insufficient. Attraction relates to the totality of the person..mannerisms, expressions, thoughts/actions etc as well as looks, indeed positives in other categories can outweigh poor looks and vice versa. It takes time to get enough exposure to someone to have this sense of them. You can get a negative sense pretty quickly in some cases but not a positive, "I'm attarcted to him", one; that needs prolonged exposure.

That's all the multiple dates are about...her needing time to get a sense of you and whether from her side, there is chemistry. It is not a series of hoops, not an attempt to get free meals, not a game.

I don't think Thai women are any different in this regard, at least none of my Thai women friends are. A Thai woman immediately willing to have sex with you on first sight/meeting is likely acting out of motives other than sexual attraction. which carries its own set of potential problem,s and dangers for you in the long run.

And not all men like casual sex. Quite a few in my experience definitely do not. Especially those who are more mature and have "been there, done that".

Also in my experience, the average man in the West does not find it particularly hard to find a partner. Among western men in Thailand one is more apt to find men for whom it was difficult back home, because this is sometimes (perhaps even often) a reason for moving to Thailand. But as a sample of all western men, they are atypical in that regard.

[manarak]

Men and women are equal in spirit, equals in rights, but since men and women think differently and usually want different things, they are in fact different.

The core of the problem is: most men like casual sex, women don't, and this makes it mission impossible for the average guy to find **** in western countries, where women like to play hard to get.

So in the western world, many men go into improbable contorsions for pleasing a potential mating partner - who posted above that women should not have to change themselves to please men?

What some men interpret as "playing hard ot get" that is simply women needing time to know a man before they know whether or not they are attracted to him. Most women are not sexualy attracted based solely on physical appearance, so just seeing what a man looks like is insufficient. Attraction relates to the totality of the person..mannerisms, expressions, thoughts/actions etc as well as looks, indeed positives in other categories can outweigh poor looks and vice versa. It takes time to get enough exposure to someone to have this sense of them. You can get a negative sense pretty quickly in some cases but not a positive, "I'm attarcted to him", one; that needs prolonged exposure.

That's all the multiple dates are about...her needing time to get a sense of you and whether from her side, there is chemistry. It is not a series of hoops, not an attempt to get free meals, not a game.

I don't think Thai women are any different in this regard, at least none of my Thai women friends are. A Thai woman immediately willing to have sex with you on first sight/meeting is likely acting out of motives other than sexual attraction. which carries its own set of potential problem,s and dangers for you in the long run.

And not all men like casual sex. Quite a few in my experience definitely do not. Especially those who are more mature and have "been there, done that".

Also in my experience, the average man in the West does not find it particularly hard to find a partner. Among western men in Thailand one is more apt to find men for whom it was difficult back home, because this is sometimes (perhaps even often) a reason for moving to Thailand. But as a sample of all western men, they are atypical in that regard.

Interesting post to most of which I would answer "true, but..."

First, I deliberately didn't mention Thai women in my post - I compare men and women in general.

Regarding thai women, I am certain you are right when you say that none of your Thai women friends like casual sex or casual relationships.

I will just say that we aren't talking about the same persons.

I can list many reasons why Thailand is easier for western men than their home country. It's a conjunction of many different factors, not only girls being (a little) more promiscuous than in the west, but also perception of some western features as "handsome", more mind-openness about being with older men, less judeo-christian load, etc. among which of course also the "motives" you mentioned.

Whatever the reasons, it's the result that counts!

Of course, the above does not apply in bulk to all Thai women, but only to some. Still, my perception is that women available for a casual relationship is much higher in Thailand than in the West. Of course, the looks and age of women has to be taken into account when comparing.

Then you say that the average western man does not find it particularly hard to find a partner.

Well, yes, probably so.

But would the man really want to sacrifice as much as men are now in the west if he could instead just jump from one casual relation to another until he found "the really really right one"?

I have a feeling many men in the west settle too quickly because they have a feeling that their options are too limited - then come the divorce statistics. 50% after 3 years.

You wrote that quite a few men don't like casual sex. True, that's why I just wrote "most men".

On the same line you write "especially those who are more mature".

This is a very important point.

Women want "mature" men. Who decides what's a mature person? And what does it mean?

Thesaurus and dictionary don't help.

We are in the realm of philosophy.

I reasearched the subject briefly and I liked the following comment on maturity:

I'm not sure what makes a person "mature" really...

If it's when you start to measure up to some arbitrary artificially imposed societal yardstick that tells you that you can't have fun any more, because you have to take life seriously now, then I want no part of that. You guys have fun being "mature"...

I watched that movie "You, Me, and Dupree", and I really got the idea that most of what made Owen Wilson's character "uncool" according to the couple was that he is young at heart, still having fun, and leads with his heart over his head. Really wierd to me to see those qualities as being somehow "immature". In fact, those are exactly the qualities that, at least to me, make life fun and interesting, and worth living.

I guess I know what you're asking in the question, but I don't like the train of thought that says "taking life seriously" = "maturity". It looks that way on the surface, sure, but as one of my friends says:

"One day, you'll sit on your deathbed, and look back over your life. When you do, you'll want to have more "I wish I hadn'ts" than "I wish I hads"..."

hmmm. good points there.

Although "mater" (mother) and "maturus" (maturity) are supposedly unrelated etymologically, I find it interesting to link both and define "mature" the following way: a "mature" man behaves the way the mother of his children expects him to, i.e. by adopting the "right" priorities.

So... "maturity" is a standard instinctively defined by women (who are of course also of mature character) and men are expected to fulfill that standard.

In other words, women expect most men to change their ways to build a durable relationship - even if raising a family is not the explicit goal, the female "mature" psyche works that way for relationships.

For some men the adjustment (i.e. assign a higher priority to couple and/or family than to his own fun) is more difficult than for others.

From my experience, most men could do without being so "mature", 555.

With that in mind, we can come back to the situation in Thailand.

Would anyone object if I asserted that there are more people behaving "unreasonably" (by western standards) in Thailand than in the West, and that this in all logic leads to more Thai women being considered less "mature" than in women in the West?

And this naturally leads to more women in Thailand making less "mature" choices in life?

Edited August 14, 2013 by manarak

[Sheryl]

I don't observe Thai women as a whole to be any less mature nor to make less mature decisions than their Western counterparts. Bear in mind that the Thai women Western men tend to have the most interaction with are not necessarily representative of mainstream Thai women. Western men naturally tend to disproportionately encounter Thai women who take the initiative in approaching them (how could they avoid it?) and it can be easy to not recognize that for every Thai woman fluttering about asking if you have a girl friend and so forth, there are at least 10 who would never dream of doing so.

I don't think maturity has anything to do with conforming to other people's standards. It is a genuine change in one's own perceptions, attitudes and desires that comes with experience over time. Women seem to mature earlier than men on average, but the majority of both men and women mature over time.

And among both men and women there are unfortunately some who never seem to mature.

[Patsycat]

Come on, all you adonis like fat men know that you will eventually meet a young woman in Thailand. Because they are there and available.

A woman in the West would not even look at you, let alone sleep with you. You think you are gods, and those poor women do too. What western woman in her right mind would cut someones toe nails and feel good about it?

You put us down because we speak back. And stand up for ourselves. And we are not all bad. Myself - 1.75 and 48 kilos. Not a fat old bitch who dropped 6 kids in 6 years and lives on a housing estate.

Look in the mirror. We all age and i feel good and actually do get flirted with occasionally. Going to be 50 next month.

[varun]

What western woman in her right mind would cut someones toe nails and feel good about it?

So you think you're somehow superior to Thai / Asian women?

I say Asian, because Chinese women do this too.

Regardless, your attitude towards Asian women in general, is appalling.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Come on, all you adonis like fat men know that you will eventually meet a young woman in Thailand. Because they are there and available.

A woman in the West would not even look at you, let alone sleep with you. You think you are gods, and those poor women do too. What western woman in her right mind would cut someones toe nails and feel good about it?

You put us down because we speak back. And stand up for ourselves. And we are not all bad. Myself - 1.75 and 48 kilos. Not a fat old bitch who dropped 6 kids in 6 years and lives on a housing estate.

Look in the mirror. We all age and i feel good and actually do get flirted with occasionally. Going to be 50 next month.

Many Thai ladies offer to cut their men's toenails, they don't consider it demeaning.

They also like to pluck your nasal hair, clean out your ear wax, shower you and wipe your bum (if you let them).

Why shouldn't they feel good about fulfilling their traditional duties?

Why shouldn't we (men) let them do it?

As for 'speaking back', you are totally wrong. Thai ladies not only speak back but often back their argument with a carving knife. I can understand your mistaken belief that it doesn't happen, as Thais generally keep their arguments private.

Edited August 15, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[meom]

Come on, all you adonis like fat men know that you will eventually meet a young woman in Thailand. Because they are there and available.

A woman in the West would not even look at you, let alone sleep with you. You think you are gods, and those poor women do too. What western woman in her right mind would cut someones toe nails and feel good about it?

You put us down because we speak back. And stand up for ourselves. And we are not all bad. Myself - 1.75 and 48 kilos. Not a fat old bitch who dropped 6 kids in 6 years and lives on a housing estate.

Look in the mirror. We all age and i feel good and actually do get flirted with occasionally. Going to be 50 next month.

Many Thai ladies offer to cut their men's toenails, they don't consider it demeaning.

They also like to pluck your nasal hair, clean out your ear wax, shower you and wipe your bum (if you let them).

Why shouldn't they feel good about fulfilling their traditional duties?

Why shouldn't we (men) let them do it?

As for 'speaking back', you are totally wrong. Thai ladies not only speak back but often back their argument with a carving knife. I can understand your mistaken belief that it doesn't happen, as Thais generally keep their arguments private.

LOL.

I must’ve been dating the wrong women or maybe I just take good care myself because no girl has ever offered these “services” to me.

They all like to walk around naked in my flip flops though and I’m still trying to figure out what that’s all about.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Come on, all you adonis like fat men know that you will eventually meet a young woman in Thailand. Because they are there and available.

A woman in the West would not even look at you, let alone sleep with you. You think you are gods, and those poor women do too. What western woman in her right mind would cut someones toe nails and feel good about it?

You put us down because we speak back. And stand up for ourselves. And we are not all bad. Myself - 1.75 and 48 kilos. Not a fat old bitch who dropped 6 kids in 6 years and lives on a housing estate.

Look in the mirror. We all age and i feel good and actually do get flirted with occasionally. Going to be 50 next month.

Many Thai ladies offer to cut their men's toenails, they don't consider it demeaning.

They also like to pluck your nasal hair, clean out your ear wax, shower you and wipe your bum (if you let them).

Why shouldn't they feel good about fulfilling their traditional duties?

Why shouldn't we (men) let them do it?

As for 'speaking back', you are totally wrong. Thai ladies not only speak back but often back their argument with a carving knife. I can understand your mistaken belief that it doesn't happen, as Thais generally keep their arguments private.

LOL.

I mustve been dating the wrong women or maybe I just take good care myself because no girl has ever offered these services to me.

They all like to walk around naked in my flip flops though and Im still trying to figure out what thats all about.

Strangely enough I have found this too (flip-flop wearing but not usually naked), get up in the morning and flip-flops gone, she's been wearing them on her morning trip to the market/corner shop.

[manarak]

I don't observe Thai women as a whole to be any less mature nor to make less mature decisions than their Western counterparts.

I don't either, my comments were made about some women.

Bear in mind that the Thai women Western men tend to have the most interaction with are not necessarily representative of mainstream Thai women. Western men naturally tend to disproportionately encounter Thai women who take the initiative in approaching them (how could they avoid it?) and it can be easy to not recognize that for every Thai woman fluttering about asking if you have a girl friend and so forth, there are at least 10 who would never dream of doing so.

certainly. yet in comparison with the west, western men get much more approached in Thailand, regardless of what the silent majority of Thai women does.

I don't think maturity has anything to do with conforming to other people's standards. It is a genuine change in one's own perceptions, attitudes and desires that comes with experience over time. Women seem to mature earlier than men on average, but the majority of both men and women mature over time.

And among both men and women there are unfortunately some who never seem to mature.

The question about maturity is deeply philosophical, but when women require maturity from men, it has everything to do with conforming to other people's standards.

Try to come up with some examples of reasonable, but immature behavior and let's analyze.

[manarak]

Come on, all you adonis like fat men know that you will eventually meet a young woman in Thailand. Because they are there and available.

A woman in the West would not even look at you, let alone sleep with you. You think you are gods, and those poor women do too. What western woman in her right mind would cut someones toe nails and feel good about it?

You put us down because we speak back. And stand up for ourselves. And we are not all bad. Myself - 1.75 and 48 kilos. Not a fat old bitch who dropped 6 kids in 6 years and lives on a housing estate.

Look in the mirror. We all age and i feel good and actually do get flirted with occasionally. Going to be 50 next month.

Many Thai ladies offer to cut their men's toenails, they don't consider it demeaning.

They also like to pluck your nasal hair, clean out your ear wax, shower you and wipe your bum (if you let them).

Why shouldn't they feel good about fulfilling their traditional duties?

Why shouldn't we (men) let them do it?

As for 'speaking back', you are totally wrong. Thai ladies not only speak back but often back their argument with a carving knife. I can understand your mistaken belief that it doesn't happen, as Thais generally keep their arguments private.

LOL.

I mustve been dating the wrong women or maybe I just take good care myself because no girl has ever offered these services to me.

They all like to walk around naked in my flip flops though and Im still trying to figure out what thats all about.

Strangely enough I have found this too (flip-flop wearing but not usually naked), get up in the morning and flip-flops gone, she's been wearing them on her morning trip to the market/corner shop.

taking possession... bit by bit.

[mike123ca]

The problem is Thai women have much smaller feet than foreign men. She is able to wear her or his flip flops whereas when I try to put the flip flop on the other foot ( or should I say try to wear hers, it just doesn't work). In the future only buy flip flops that are big for both to wear or learn to walk barefoot.

[CHRISTIANa9]

They all like to walk around naked in my flip flops though and Im still trying to figure out what thats all about.

Strangely enough I have found this too (flip-flop wearing but not usually naked), get up in the morning and flip-flops gone, she's been wearing them on her morning trip to the market/corner shop.

Flip flops. Just to show the neighbors that they have a ATM at home. That's all.

[snake24]

Lots of Asian guys are interested in White gals. Not sure what Molly's really looking for in a guy or what she has to offer. Normally it takes chemistry and don't know what a 3 day rule really is. Putting a timer on a relationship, if that's what she really wants is like not putting a timer on roast in the oven and using your psychic powers to determine when it's done.

If Molly only really had 1 relationship before coming to Bkk. Could be she is happy being alone?

I hope this article isn't about indirectly insulting asian men like she was going oh you know none of them were good enough for me but of course they were all dying to date me.

FYI there is a difference between dating a female to be your potential gf/wife and just a one night stand.

[snake24]

I don't observe Thai women as a whole to be any less mature nor to make less mature decisions than their Western counterparts. Bear in mind that the Thai women Western men tend to have the most interaction with are not necessarily representative of mainstream Thai women. Western men naturally tend to disproportionately encounter Thai women who take the initiative in approaching them (how could they avoid it?) and it can be easy to not recognize that for every Thai woman fluttering about asking if you have a girl friend and so forth, there are at least 10 who would never dream of doing so.

I don't think maturity has anything to do with conforming to other people's standards. It is a genuine change in one's own perceptions, attitudes and desires that comes with experience over time. Women seem to mature earlier than men on average, but the majority of both men and women mature over time.

And among both men and women there are unfortunately some who never seem to mature.

That is because most of these women are women of the night or work in such settings. It's like they work in some soapy massage place for example and then they go out so yes they aren't offically at work anymore but the fact of the matter is they are women of the night so having sex with strange men is normal to them. Also how many times have you seen western men dating these bar girls like they're a couple. It's so common but still doesn't change the fact that it might be a business transaction just that some of these men kid themselves that it isn't.

[Richie23]

We are out there, just keep looking

[MrRealDeal]

I hate to disappoint anyone but the answer to the question is the same wherever in the world ........ the reason it's hard to find a good man is because you are not as good a woman as you think you are ....... unfortunately for you the good women have no trouble at all finding good men same as good men can find good women anyplace in the world.

[sbk]

Oh dear, now thats rather nasty isn't it? and quite presumptuous on your part as well.

[MrRealDeal]

The truth may sometimes seem nasty to those who don't want to accept it ...... I wasn't intending to be nasty just to state one possibility of the truth that while may not always be the truth certainly sometimes is , rendering it more the truth than just plain nasty ........ I don't find the concept that a good man can find a good woman or a good woman can find a good man to be some sort of odd presumption in the world ,,,,,,, I find it to be the truth more often than not.

I'm sorry if you were offended but not sorry for stating what I believe to be the truth and only stated it in an effort to help people understand the realistic truth of life.

[Sheryl]

Lots of Asian guys are interested in White gals. Not sure what Molly's really looking for in a guy or what she has to offer. Normally it takes chemistry and don't know what a 3 day rule really is. Putting a timer on a relationship, if that's what she really wants is like not putting a timer on roast in the oven and using your psychic powers to determine when it's done.

If Molly only really had 1 relationship before coming to Bkk. Could be she is happy being alone?

I hope this article isn't about indirectly insulting asian men like she was going oh you know none of them were good enough for me but of course they were all dying to date me.

FYI there is a difference between dating a female to be your potential gf/wife and just a one night stand.

As I read the article, she does in fact date Thai men, her complaint is that while it is easy to find someone to have fun with for a short while, it is hard to find a really good man for a serious relationship. Which is pretty much the lament of women all over the world.

Of course we don't know her age, how well she speaks thai and other factors that would relate to thel ikelihood of finding a "good" Thai man.

In my experience there are 2 main constraints for western women in finding a Thai male partner: (1) Thai men seem to universally marry by the age of 30 or so, and the divroce rate isn't very high here, so basically the pool of potential men is of men in their 20's, early 30's max. for a woman under 30 no problem, starts to be a problem 30 - 35 and really a problem past that. (2) status - a high proportion of western women living in Thailand are successful professionals, often holding comparatively high positions, and Thai society is very hierarchical. Men will not feel free to approach a woman perceived to have a higher status/position and Thai society will not look kindly upon the union if somehow they do. So this further reduces the pool.

BTW professionally successful Thai women on the wrong side of 35 or so often face the same problem.

[poanoi]

it is hard to find a really good man for a serious relationship.

Apart from the 'serious relationship' snip, i think i qualify rather well on the wishlist,

cept that i live in Pattaya

[mike123ca]

Lots of Asian guys are interested in White gals. Not sure what Molly's really looking for in a guy or what she has to offer. Normally it takes chemistry and don't know what a 3 day rule really is. Putting a timer on a relationship, if that's what she really wants is like not putting a timer on roast in the oven and using your psychic powers to determine when it's done.

If Molly only really had 1 relationship before coming to Bkk. Could be she is happy being alone?

I hope this article isn't about indirectly insulting asian men like she was going oh you know none of them were good enough for me but of course they were all dying to date me.

FYI there is a difference between dating a female to be your potential gf/wife and just a one night stand.

As I read the article, she does in fact date Thai men, her complaint is that while it is easy to find someone to have fun with for a short while, it is hard to find a really good man for a serious relationship. Which is pretty much the lament of women all over the world.

Of course we don't know her age, how well she speaks thai and other factors that would relate to thel ikelihood of finding a "good" Thai man.

In my experience there are 2 main constraints for western women in finding a Thai male partner: (1) Thai men seem to universally marry by the age of 30 or so, and the divroce rate isn't very high here, so basically the pool of potential men is of men in their 20's, early 30's max. for a woman under 30 no problem, starts to be a problem 30 - 35 and really a problem past that. (2) status - a high proportion of western women living in Thailand are successful professionals, often holding comparatively high positions, and Thai society is very hierarchical. Men will not feel free to approach a woman perceived to have a higher status/position and Thai society will not look kindly upon the union if somehow they do. So this further reduces the pool.

BTW professionally successful Thai women on the wrong side of 35 or so often face the same problem.

You state in your experience, as a women ages or her social position improves it works against her in finding a good Thai man. I do believe that your giving an honest opinion from your point of view.

I've always felt that Thai women are very aggressive when pursuing a man. It's been my experience that once they are interested in a guy, they won't sit back and wait for him to make the first move. If a Thai guy is shy or whatever, I feel a Thai woman has the home field advantage over a foreign woman.

[preahko]

If you want to find a farang man in Thailand, here are seven guidelines which may help you:

1. Hygiene! Take care “down there”. Be aware of your competition. If you're at all bi-oriented, try out a Thai girl. I think you too will be flabbergasted that tastes and smells that good can come out of a human female. Yeah. That's what you're aiming for.

2. Hygiene! Take care “up there” (pits) as well. Bathe a minimum of three times a day. And for GOD's sake, bathe before sex!! Once again...be aware of your competition.

3. Hygiene! (do we sense a theme here?) As in: shave that thing. If we want a forest, we'll hike in one of the Thai national parks.

4. Respect Thai culture. Do not walk around with parts of your body hanging out. Not cool. The Thais (both males and females) do not want to see that...and most of us farangs--especially the “classy” ones you always clamor about--certainly don't want to see it either. Seriously, even exposed shoulders...not appropriate in this country. Cover up.

5. Attitude. Now, this one is going to be tough for you to take. Recognize your place in the Thai social/cultural world. Note: I am not saying that “place” is a good thing. But it's real, and you have to deal with it. You have to accept that you are a FISH BICYCLE. On face value, you are of no use to anyone here. Again...I'm not saying I agree with this logic!! But you cannot deny it. You are too much of a slut for Thai men, and not enough of a slut for farang men. And Thai women don't like you because of how OBVIOUSLY you look down on them. I know, it sucks. But for god's sake, don't try to strut around Thailand with the attitude you're used to projecting in your home country. It does NOT work here. You are nothing (sorry!!)...and you have to prove yourself if you want to be something. Can the attitude.

6. Attitude again. Do you not “put out” on the first date...or at least the second date? You're history here. Good luck with your life as a nun. Thai girls--and I'm NOT just talking bar girls here--will do things within hours of meeting a guy that you have never dreamed of. Deal with it. Want a guy? Learn those things.

7. Do not look down on Thai women. Do not say, as some have in responses to this thread, that Thai women are “not challenging”. Do not say or think that Thai women are “doormats”. Nor are they docile. Where in hell did you get that idea? (hint: see point #1, try one out for yourself, and see what they're really like!) I don't know about all farang guys, but I like Thai women specifically BECAUSE they're strong, feisty, and often dominating. Deal with it. Give them respect. You win yourself no points with anyone here by looking down on them.

[poanoi]

Hygiene my arse, half the natives are infested with virus and bacteria, and i have statistic to back it up

[Boo]

And another man puting a womans whole worth down to sex and the apperance of her vagina. Dude, you aren't what the op is looking for, nor any woman with an ounce of self respect. If you want a <deleted> buddy then by all accounts follow your "points". If you want a partner, someone to have and raise kids with, grow old with, someone to care what happens to uo then you are going to need someone with more than a shaved bush and 3 showers a day. Just, you know, an fyi for you.

[sbk]

Speechless, really. Just speechless.