Problem with foul-mouthed Thai neighbour.

[wineman]

Our elderly next door neighbour, a Thai female keeps upsetting my long-time (5 years) live-in Thai girlfriend by telling her to f*** off you bad bar lady. What legally can be done about this? In the UK I could sue her for slander at least, but here ??????? Bit tricky this because she's a relative of an immigration official.

[joepattaya1961]

If you pay a high ranked Pattaya Police Officer a nice sum of tea money, he will be a relative of your wife.

[fakename]

When it comes time to renew your visa, the immigration officer will always have the winning hand, over the police officer. You could consider moving, changing girl friend or just try to ignore the woman.

[MegaRanter]

Thai women know when to stand their ground.

Your gf just runs to you when the old lady badmouths her?

Is she a bar lady and by any chance a bad one as well?

[richard_smith237]

Slander is only Slander if it isn't true....

Regardless, this behaviour is terrible.

Record this neighbour verbally abusing your GF - Then threaten to put it on social media and embarrass the neighbour.

Or, just have your GF give her a piece of her own mind. Sometimes the bullying folk just need a firm response to encourage them to back down.

[Gsxrnz]

If she's elderly she will definitely be older generation superstitious - much more than the younger generation. Suggest to your GF that you are considering getting a Maw-Tam to come visit you to cast a spell and protect you from her evil spirit and bad mouth - or cast a spell on her for her bad manners and causing you disharmony.

Essentially, a Maw-Tam is a Medium but in their thinking it's close to a Witch Doctor/Voodoo type belief. The older ones really believe in that sort of superstitious stuff. There are some in Pattaya and your GF will know where to find one.

Get the GF to mention it to somebody reasonably distant that can tell somebody else, that can tell somebody else, that can mention it to the old lady that you're having a Maw-Tam come see you. I think you'll find that she'll develop lockjaw pretty quick.

If she doesn't shut up, actually get the Maw-Tam to come and see you - your neighbour will be scared to death.

Edit: Or if the above is a bit dark for you, go the entirely opposite way. Get a Monk to come and bless your house (common practice in Thailand). pre-brief the Monk on the neighbour and what she's doing. Make sure the neighbour is at home and sees the Monk arrive. Talk outside with him so the old lady hears him and if he's briefed properly and has a bit of common sense, he'll say something like she'll get her comeuppance in her next life and bad karma will visit her if she persists. She'll overhear, problem solved.

When in Rome and all that - consult a lawyer in Farangland, consult a Witch Doctor or a Monk in Thailand.

The two Thai options are a damn sight cheaper - 1,000 baht should see you right.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Gsxrnz

[MegaRanter]

Or buy her a bull horn so she can make an arse of herself to the entire soi.

[Briggsy]

Does she say this in English??

[Ling Kae]

I bet this neighbor is extremely jealous of your partner and just can't handle that she might be better off than herself. Sees you and her coming and going, looking happy and she is probably just insanely jealous using the family member in Immigration as a form of intimidation. Sad really, what a low life. If I was renting I would move, no need for that cr@p in your life.

[impulse]

Don't discount the possibility that there's more to the story than you know.

My 10yr Asian GF doesn't get along with a bunch of our neighbors. I have no problems with them, possibly because I don't speak the language beyond a few words. God only knows what their interactions are like when I'm not around, and I only get one side of the story. But I've seen enough on my own that I know she's not always the innocent victim she'd like me to think she is.

Keep in mind that relationships here are a lot more complex than "back home" There are petty alliances, gossip, playing one person off the other, switching alliances, and other intricacies that go way over my little pinhead. And that's okay with me. I just bumble through, oblivious- or at least acting oblivious- and smile as much as I can manage.

I'm not advising you to do so, but for me, I stay out of it- because I don't really understand the whole story. If it's a physical threat, that's different. But I stay out of petty quarrels of a verbal nature.

Edited August 13, 2013 by impulse

[thrilled]

I would talk to the leader of the village. If that don't work go to someone higher.I'm not the bully type person. But money takes care of a lot of problems.

[PattayaPhom]

Why dosnt your GF just say F off as well and say am not a bar girl because I work at....where ever she works.

[monkeycountry]

I have no idea how to stop the fight, but people really should stop worrying about the usual "my brother works at the police, immigration blabla". So what, what is he going to do? Shoot you? Not give you a visa? I don't think I have ever heard of that happening.

[chickenslegs]

Slander is only Slander if it isn't true....

Regardless, this behaviour is terrible.

Record this neighbour verbally abusing your GF - Then threaten to put it on social media and embarrass the neighbour.

Or, just have your GF give her a piece of her own mind. Sometimes the bullying folk just need a firm response to encourage them to back down.

I don't think this is quite correct. In a criminal case of defamation the "truth" defence does not apply to statements of a personal nature, unless the statement is made in the public interest.

See the last couple of sentences in the 4th paragraph of this link...

http://kellywarnerlaw.com/thailand-defamation-laws/

Edited August 13, 2013 by chickenslegs

[I Like Thai]

Slander is only Slander if it isn't true....

Regardless, this behaviour is terrible.

Record this neighbour verbally abusing your GF - Then threaten to put it on social media and embarrass the neighbour.

Or, just have your GF give her a piece of her own mind. Sometimes the bullying folk just need a firm response to encourage them to back down.

This will have her running scared, she'll be terrified out of her wits.

[vtjforyou]

Don't discount the possibility that there's more to the story than you know.

My 10yr Asian GF doesn't get along with a bunch of our neighbors. I have no problems with them, possibly because I don't speak the language beyond a few words. God only knows what their interactions are like when I'm not around, and I only get one side of the story. But I've seen enough on my own that I know she's not always the innocent victim she'd like me to think she is.

Keep in mind that relationships here are a lot more complex than "back home" There are petty alliances, gossip, playing one person off the other, switching alliances, and other intricacies that go way over my little pinhead. And that's okay with me. I just bumble through, oblivious- or at least acting oblivious- and smile as much as I can manage.

I'm not advising you to do so, but for me, I stay out of it- because I don't really understand the whole story. If it's a physical threat, that's different. But I stay out of petty quarrels of a verbal nature.

So true !!!

All these foreigners who believe their ex-farmer ex-bargirl stories are so stupid...

[Suradit69]

If you pay a high ranked Pattaya Police Officer a nice sum of tea money, he will be a relative of your wife.

I wonder if any of the farang who have this obsession with the idea of bribing police have ever tried initiating it . I guess it's one the urban legends crafted out of fantasy by farang who assume themselves to be morally superior and to be worldly wise when it comes to the exotic life here in Thailand.

I'm sure bribery exists here and in every other country on the planet, but this "tea money" mantra is beginning to sound like a horse that's beyond being beaten to death by old ladies repeating unsubstantiated gossip ad nauseam to impress their neighbors with their nonexistent inside access to secrets.

Would have thought some rules existed against advising others to undertake illegal acts, no matter how silly & mindless the intent of the poster.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Suradit69

[wineman]

Answer to your second sentence MegaRanter is -- no.

Answer to your last sentence is -- she is not a bar lady.

Thai women know when to stand their ground.

Your gf just runs to you when the old lady badmouths her?

Is she a bar lady and by any chance a bad one as well?

[Tiffer]

As with anywhere in the world perhaps your neighbour is a cow or perhaps there is more to this than meets the eye.

Don't fight fire with fire. Consider broaching the subject with your neighbour and be ready to consider that your neighbour might not actually be entirely to blame.

If it is not practical to move house,you may need to bring the neighbour on board through some inclusive activity or other means.

You might consider appologising to your neighbour for your wife...

It may be that your partner has to swallow some pride, but if that's what it takes, so be it.

[catweazle]

Someone told me once that sending such a person "love and peace" via prayer can change things to the better.

By experience I know that a good slap in the face works miracles. If your GF can't perform, better move away.

Edited August 14, 2013 by catweazle

[Kananga]

Let her carry on. Next time she does it just laugh at her and pretend to video her with your phone. When she eventually realises she is just an object of ridicule she may stop. Although there are no guarantees with morons.

Alternatively hold a weekly BBQ party in your back garden for all the local ladyboys. Fill them with cheap booze and have loud Karaoke every week till 4am. She'll soon see the error of her ways.

[ronthai]

Get a neutral translater and bring him/her to you house and have a one on one chat with your neighbour over a cup of coffee/tea.

Show her that both of you are just people how love each other and she has no reason to think every girl that is with a farang must be a hooker.

[NCFC]

Buy the old lady some khanom. Ask her if there are any errands you can do for her. She'll soon change her opinion of you and your gf.

Edited August 14, 2013 by NCFC

[HUAHIN62]

May I suggest that you avoid conflict and either ignore her or ..... when your gf cook a good meal offer the woman next door a plate or order moekhetha and invite her to join. In Thai culture food and drinks go a long way smooth bumpy relations. If she refuse which will be difficult for her to do, invite other neighbours instead of her. Most of the suggestions given is western sollutions to an Asian problem.

[Khunangkaro]

"......long-time (5 years) live-in Thai girlfriend......"

And still your GF? How serious is your relationship?

Living this way creates a very low esteem for you and your GF in your society. Ever realised Thai Gossip?

People see your GF as your maid/bargirl/prostitute.

Do your GF and yourself a big favor first to call her your wife and act accordingly:

Command respect for both of you by marrying Thai Style with a party for family and neighbours. (Can confirm at Ampher)

If not yet have, some gold and a nice car will brighten your stars. Show that your wife is worth a lot to live with. She will love you for that.

Otherwise quit or move! (Move repeats the story.)

[jeff2258]

Buy the old lady some khanom. Ask her if there are any errands you can do for her. She'll soon change her opinion of you and your gf.

Totally agreed on this. Be a friend better then an enemy, try to talk to her and get to know more about her. Talking bad about your GF does not hurt you if you don't take it seriously. She is old and maybe she needs attention, just take it easy.

[Markaew]

Slander is only Slander if it isn't true....

Regardless, this behaviour is terrible.

Record this neighbour verbally abusing your GF - Then threaten to put it on social media and embarrass the neighbour.

Or, just have your GF give her a piece of her own mind. Sometimes the bullying folk just need a firm response to encourage them to back down.

As stated here, use your movie camera to record the event. If possible, get multiple events. Go to the police station to report the problem. When the police does nothing, call the call center to report the police inaction. They will do something.

It's very possible the woman will be intimidated by the filming of her actions. Some will get hostile and say they will take your money if you continue filming them. Don't stop. Continue with the plan above. If you can get 3 or more events then that is great. You can show the film to the police.

I had a similar problem with a nagging neighbor and the filming shut her up when she knew she couldn't intimidate me..

Edited August 14, 2013 by Markaew

[SOTIRIOS]

.......is she.......

.........looking for attention.....???

.........trying to warn you........???

[Emdog]

Over here slander is still slander EVEN IF it is true! I think of case with Australian businesswoman who was sued for that, even tho it was a private phone conversation! Anyway, I like idea of trying to kill her with kindness, then go onto the heavy shame factor of posting her act.

[TechnikaIII]

I totally agree with the friendly approaches suggested in this discussion. Any reprisal will be either witnessed by other neighbours, or spoken about by the angry old one. Neither will bode well for you. Be polite and friendly to everyone. Do not even talk about it to others, for they can pass it on further, and create the 'smoking gun' suspicion.