Farang V Farang Why are we ignoring each other?

[Pui]

In the past 10 years of living here I've had some strange encounters with foreigners.

The most extraordinary being at 2:00am in Sukhumvit a Londoner asked "Where you from in London" I told him and he replied "Who do you support" I replied that I didn't really like football "Why don't you support Millwall?" and punched me in the face. I had nose bleed. Wrong time, wrong place but can you imagine this from any other race?

There was a famous quote somewhere I read about leaving 2 Englishmen together and within 5 minutes they find reasons to not to like each other.

My Thai wife has spotted lost foreigners looking at maps and encouraged me to help them. Once I ask "can we help you at all?" the young man gave me a stern look and replied "No...can I help you?" I looked at my wife and said "Please don't ask me to do that again" My take on this was that they want an authentic experience and the idea of another foreigner helping them ruins it for them.

in the case of farangs in general being rude to each other, It might be that all the attention from woman makes foreigners start to take themselves a little too seriously.

[Regyai]

This thread keeps having me reminded of that sequence in Crocodile Dundee where gud'ole Nick tries glad handing everyone in New York 'Hi, Nick Dundee'

.

[glegolo]

This is a fundamental puzzler -why do Farang skillfully ignore each other in passing. Is it that I am much uglier than my kind tgf tells me and that they are avoiding eye contact so as not to reveal their revulsion?

Is it that they feel as though they are the only Farang in the village and by ignoring me they will remain so? Or what is it? Am I missing something here? Why are fellow farangs so overtly and covertly rude to other farangs? (and no you acerbic wits, it aint just me- I have seen it many times in others)

I always attempt to at least nod, even to cap-rear-facing sunglass clad posers as a way of saying I understand how it is to be here and hey arent we all in this together? Has magnamanity and decency drowned in the milk of human kindness

Farang 'coldness' can be irritating....but isn't it what they are doing back home too?

They have't changed the software upon landing..

Highly recommended.

I have not read all the posts, I have seen this kind of thread before, have even started one a couple of years back.... I agree, but only if one lives like I do, out in the sticks as you use to say, like Isaan where I live.

To meet these boring personalities that never ever looks at you, looks up in the sky, looking at the walls or finds the floor extremely intereseting when you are passing that character... These guys seems to be so strange that I wonder if I am not better off ,NOT to get to know that guy... He is without any doubt a socialy handicaped person back in his home country and he is also that here in Thailand.

But on the other hand I understand that behavior that all these guys here in this forum shows, they live maybe mostly in a big city and see other falangs every day, and extremely many of them as well.

But As Op say... to show that kind of behavior out on the countryside is lame, very lame.....

Glegolo

[bangarang]

Not all of us are extroverts. Plus, not all of us speak the same language. Just because we live in a different country doesnt mean we are going to change our personalities. Same things that annoy me back home will still annoy me back home.

[Pops]

Why would Farangs have to acknowledge each other when shopping, walking etc. ?

Where does that weird ass rule come from ???

I don't acknowledge anybody I am not familiar with, Thai nor Farang, when going somewhere, why should we, what's the point ?

[somchai jones]

I remember Nakhon Sawan in 2006, entrance to parking in Big-C, time was 11.00 day/noon, a total wasted farang, grey beard, grey hair, grey (or dirty..) T-Shirt, jeans, and the obligatory cheaps..t plastic flip-flops, on a wreck of a Honda Dream anno 2540, was crossing my way of right.

3 sec. before an accident, I hit all brakes and shouted a jolly and smiling "Good morning"!!

Reaction?

<deleted> off!!

Since then, very careful not to be too friendly, Farang really don´t like it, cause he want to keep the illusion of being the only and the special one in LOS!

I once went to lunch with a few Thai colleagues and there was a Englishman, already drunk with beer bottle in hand, who immediately started shouting and spouting

profanity at me as soon as he saw me. This went on for some 10 minutes until, from what he said, I told him I was not an American, after which he started to

cool off and apologize.

Ok, that was my worst encounter and thankfully an isolated one.

As some posters have said, it doesn't make sense to acknowledge another foreigner (I guess we're all talking about western white foreigners) while walking

on Sukhumvit. In a remote area with few foreigners on the other hand.......

Maybe the OP means that many foreigners give the expression "ahh please not another one, I can't be bothered", instead of a friendly or even indifferent expression.

Well, I get the first one mostly from Thais also, so I guess the foreigners have just adapted to the prevailing Thai attitude.

Here we go......knew it wouldn't be long before someone blamed the Thais.......gotta love the TV moaners eh!

[glegolo]

Why would Farangs have to acknowledge each other when shopping, walking etc. ?

Where does that weird ass rule come from ???

I don't acknowledge anybody I am not familiar with, Thai nor Farang, when going somewhere, why should we, what's the point ?

If you just dont get it, you just dont get it....

sleep on..

Glegolo

[Suradit69]

Been here almost 4 years and only once casually met a farang I actually liked. Too many weirdos, (semi-)alcoholics, wife-beaters and downright slovenly presented farangs. I also avoid similarly poorly presented Thais, Chinese, Russians, etc. I am very friendly to people in all countries, including my own, if the person is presentable and appears equally amenable.

Yes, can't see what the particular attraction would be for other farangs. It's a bit like settling in for a long flight. Best to pick up a book and avoid eye contact with the person sitting next to you or you could end up on an even longer flight than you anticipated if he/she turns out to be a talkative sort.

Unless you're desperate for new friends or feel out of your depth amongst all the exotic locals, why not find friends, make new acquaintances with whom you share more in common than just skin color. Giving friendly nods to strangers in malls or on the street, especially in small towns, could result in acquiring a clinger who's more desperate than you.

I suppose your view point depends on your background. If you've lived in larger cities much of your life, you're not as likely to go about engaging strangers in eye contact without some dubious purpose.

Edited August 28, 2013 by Suradit69

[cooked]

When I first moved here and was very naive, I tried the Hello thing to my neighbour, only to be shot down in flames with "<deleted>*k You!!" so I never done it again.

But I agree with many on here, would not do it back home, so why here. I just Hello here to you crazies

Well I agree that I wouldn't tell people to f# orf back home either.

[FiestyFarang]

Yes I have noticed that to. I think it is probably due to the fact that most long term farang have run away from their own countries as Immigration let's virtually anyone in. Having lived in other countries as a foreigner with tougher immigration policies it is not the same there. Also many farangs rip each other off here. I have lived here many years and most farangs just have you as a "friend" so that you can pay to sit in their bar etc. I have very few true friends here but many "friends" that invite me to parties in their bar, in other words give me 1000Baht and I will be your friend and give you fried rice chicken that costs about 40Baht to make.

[glegolo]

Oh my God what sad existinces I read about here. poor lonely guys. Scills of behavior is noon to nothing...

A nood, smile and than just passing. that would cost you poor guys so much?????

Yes I agree, the ones I considerated to be a´holes home, is still a´holes here.

Glegolo

[Regyai]

If you just dont get it, you just dont get it....

sleep on..

Glegolo

Oh they probably do get it

Soliciting friendships with spurious deadbeat falangs in the LOS can only lead to dealing with loan applications in the future

[leewood]

I just go about my business and every day life the way i would in my own country. That just means being polite, doing whatever you have to do to make your life as easy and happy as possible but i always remember that of course i am in a foreign country so the cultural values and people must be respected.

Having been here 7 years, i've found it works ok. It's an interesting post and some great comments. Thanks for sharing!!

[personchester]

I think it is something ingrained from farangland.

Yes, it is part of western culture, farangs in their home country do not greet / salute people they don't know, if they know them such as neighbours, or working partners, then they might give a smile as they walk past, or stop and talk. or do nothing at all by looking in the opposite direction.

Farangs inThailand should not regards this as a bad manner, it is normal.

Nevertheless, should one farang smile to an other and the other does not smile back then this must be regarded as bad mannerism, but there is no need to be upset about it.

[Kananga]

In the past 10 years of living here I've had some strange encounters with foreigners.

The most extraordinary being at 2:00am in Sukhumvit a Londoner asked "Where you from in London" I told him and he replied "Who do you support" I replied that I didn't really like football "Why don't you support Millwall?" and punched me in the face. I had nose bleed. Wrong time, wrong place but can you imagine this from any other race?

There was a famous quote somewhere I read about leaving 2 Englishmen together and within 5 minutes they find reasons to not to like each other.

My Thai wife has spotted lost foreigners looking at maps and encouraged me to help them. Once I ask "can we help you at all?" the young man gave me a stern look and replied "No...can I help you?" I looked at my wife and said "Please don't ask me to do that again" My take on this was that they want an authentic experience and the idea of another foreigner helping them ruins it for them.

in the case of farangs in general being rude to each other, It might be that all the attention from woman makes foreigners start to take themselves a little too seriously.

There are a lot of tourists where I live and they often find themselves wandering around my soi looking lost. I always ask them if they need help with directions and every single time I have been thanked by them for offering to help.

Don't let one incident lead you to generalise that 4 billion people other white people wouldnt appreciate your kind offer of assistance.

[tingtongteesood]

I have noticed it too and find it odd also. People from other Asian countries easily group together and make friends with their local fellow 'countrymen'. But Western 'falangs' don't do this and I think our community is very much the poorer for it. I think part of it may come down to the culture. Back home, would you approach random strangers and say hello ? Also a great many Westerners seem to be here for the wrong reasons and I think they don't really want to risk people finding out what they are doing.

[SOTIRIOS]

...it is the scam victim syndrome...

....embarrassment.....

...once you find out you are living a lie....and all your assets are gone.....and you have no recourse....what is the point...

....hopelessness...

[Guest]

In Bangkok and other big cities, it is not customary to acknowledge strangers. It is not rudeness, it is a normal part of the accomodation to big city life.

Farangs who come from large cities are used to this and would find it odd to do otherwise but for people from smaller towns it can take some getting used to.

I agree with this. On top of this, there is cultural differences depending where we come from as well as personal differences. Some people are introverts while others are extroverts. On top of that, the persons mood as well as first impressions of others "does the other person look like I would like to learn to know?". Mistrust based on bad experiences etc.

When farang learn to speak good enough Thai to have real conversations with the locals, they might prefer to communicate in general with the locals, instead of farangs.

I'd like to believe that the whole thing works. The extroverts are more drawn to each extroverts as casual chat. The introverts might find they very best and trusted introvert friends, after noticing them for an year.

[beautifulthailand99]

Don't talk to strangers.

That is what I was taught.

Most foreigners I come across are 15/20 years my senior why would I want to converse with them.

I wouldn't in my home country,so I don't here.

Sent from my GT-P7500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

What a crazy statement to make. So we must all wear a sign quoting our age for you. Gawd......... alt=coffee1.gif width=32 height=24>

Plus if you are lucky then you will grow old some day and by your logic be ignored - maybe that's what you want and what you will get.

I have seen this in Thailand but aren't really bothered by it - I like to talk and chat with strangers if the opportunity arises and have enough social awareness to bid my goodbyes if I get the vibe 'please go away'. That said you can learn a lot and enjoy the ride of life better if you open your heart and interact in a friendly way with those you meet however briefly on the journey. Trouble is most of the time most of our heads are full of thoughts and things to do and worries to worry about so we don't have the time,energy or inclination to bother.

When I spot a fellow Thai in the UK when out with my wife I say to her why don't you go and say hello and she comes back with 'Why?.

Edited August 28, 2013 by beautifulthailand99

[Kananga]

Many of you are also lumping 'farang' together like we're the same because of the skin colour. How very Thai.

I have nothing in common with a stranger from Italy, Argentina or Belarus and have no need or desire to expect them to start a conversation with me because we shared a common ancestor 4,000 years ago.

Perhaps its more a case that many of you think you are special because you are treated as some kind of novelty in the dusty village and dont like the fact that other Westerners dont really care that a white stranger who may or may not even speak the same language as them may live in the near proximity.

If you keep smiling at random white strangers and get upset when they dont open their arms and embrace you just tell yourself its their loss and get on with your own business.

[Lancelot]

I have encountered this in Thailand, I think its mostly cultural. People in the US say hello to strangers, its no big deal. Many europeans seem appalled that a stranger would greet them and I suppose its no big deal as well.

I say hello one time and if the other party ignores me or acts offended, I figure its all for the best and consider myself fortunate to have avoided another anti-social type

[1Ping1]

Rule number one. The old saying for me is do not pi### where you sleep. I have explained this also to my Thai wife and after two years she agrees 100%.

We have great close friends, some neighbors, but we also finally moved once due to me forgetting about rule number one.

[OxfordWill]

Its because you might be the kind of person who uses acronyms like "tgf"

[bigbamboo]

Lets put it this way,do you say hi or nod to everyone you walk past in your home country?Give an honest reply thx .

For those of us who do not live in cities -- yes

Home for us in England is a small village in Hampshire. Just a few hundred residents but you could chat to any number of people you don't know in one day. Go to London with a few million residents and you could go all day without saying hello to anyone.

[pgrahmm]

Coming from the US that USED to be a friendly place (have friends that have almost been jumped/fought because they accidentally bumped in to someone there) and is now a place largely of intimidation/overworked/worried/frightened people. Fortunately, size is on my side (not fat) so I've not been challenged.

Living close to Chiang Mai I actually do not experience any problems if I decide to greet somebody. Ususally I get a nod or smile in return, however, being a person on the shy side I don't go down the street looking to greet everyone that passes. If someone is presentably dressed and looks perplexed or is smiling I'll give them a hi or a nod just to be friendly. Sometimes in a situation a funny/witty comment helps everyone smile. Same out riding the bike in the neighbohood. I'm not a bar/pub crawler type (so that makes me automatically avoid some of the less desirable people) but will have a chat in a cafe if someone were to strike up a conversation with me.

Most of the expats I made friends with are caring/sharing people, however, I mix mostly with long termers and people that play the same sports/activities as I do so we have a basis for respect and commonality of interests. I've also been fortunate to meet some others (few because of my nature) that are OK. First sign of anything different/negative/real trouble I change paths.

I've actually found expats fairly open here. I think many of us come from a variety of backgrounds many of which are more reserved or cloistered and carry those traits with them here. Again, (being on the shy side) I find it easier here for me to be open. The ready smiles of the Thai's help in that regard.

If someone has that Fku look or attitude I won't waste my time - just as I wouldn't back home.

Yeah - I worry about the 50-60 crowd with the multi piercings, newly shaved heads, new tatoos and it makes me wonder. But not much different from some of the aging hippies/flower power/multi colored 60's hair people. I just don't know if they are a new crazy (learning curve) or have been that way for years (more predictible).

A couple of the nicest, most sincere people I know in the states have a lot of tats (met through business dealings) so you can't judge a book by it's cover alone. But as a general rule I don't go out of my way seek out these folks.

I do know - if I had to shave my head, get tats and piercings thinking I needed it to try and outwardly impress/draw people (at this age - 65) I'd have to believe I was doing something wrong......IMO.....

[BuriramRes]

I think it is something ingrained from farangland.

Yes, it is not just in Thailand.

As a kiwi in the UK some years ago I found the same thing.

I used to have a little game of greating the pommy people on the street as I past & watch the reactions.

Used to just say "hello" but I normally got ignored. It was fun throu!

[robertthebruce]

I think I must be the exception, i do smile at most Foreign people, for me its just being pleasant..costs nothing..

And if they want to engage in a conversation thats fine, no big deal... basic politeness...

but thats me....

[retell]

When you are out in the sticks and see one Farang a week, this can be annoying. I now go into town every day and with one or two exceptions, the few Farnags I see every day, including one whose daughter goes to the same school as ours, ignore my presence.

This doesn't really matter but I sometimes the 'avoid eye contact at all costs' (otherwise known as 'dont come near me you piece of sh..) does. Maybe these guys should get T-shirts made to save ordinary human beings from wasting time

yep same here usually the only foreigners ( i dislike to use the term farang myself ) i meet are or my friends in a nearby small town or when i have to go shopping in the " BIG " city i usually greet and when have the chance talk a bit mostly to find out that they come from Laos only to do shopping at tesco bigc makro etc , no problem with me there just stay friendly as i am to everybody

the life in thailand is too damn nice to be a grumpy sourfaced expat

[RaysFan]

Ive noticed this too. Ove only been living in Thailand for 2 months (chiang mai) and when passing a farang on the streets I always notice them purposefully avoiding eye contact. Ill stare at them in passing and say hi or nod my head if they glance at me but they rarely do.

Ive given this some thought... I really think they feel like they moved here, this is their country now, and they dont like outsiders here.

And for the people saying they just act the same as back home.... I dont think thats the case. Most people when passing eachother on the sidewalk will nod at each other at a minimum... I think its the opposite to the extreme here.

Sent from my GT-I9500

[xen]

I must be a naturally friendly fella but i will say 'Gidday mate' to almost anybody .if they don't want to respond it is no skin off my back. i don't expect lifelong friendships. if i am sitting next to somebody on a seat i will strike up a conversation to pass time . if i am waiting in a que i will find somebody to talk & joke with .Just light hearted banter. After a few sentences we will both move on to other adventures or back to our own life.. <deleted>. I have even had the nigerians around Nana talk to me . We exchange a few words and keep on going. It is only the Indian tailors i will not talk to. Lesson learnt many years ago. i will try to talk to my cab driver and practice my Thai . Usually they find what i say is hilarious - don't know if it what i say or how i say it. but we depart smiling . But with many ex-pat falungs , i don't understand their problem . Life is too short & boring to snarl at everybody all the time..