Ovarian Cancer and Cancer cells in fluids around the lungs-please help

[lemoncake]

I have received the shocking news which no one wants to receive ever.

My mother was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and had a surgery about 9 months ago.

They were not able to remove all the cancer and advised, there was still some left in stomach lining.

She started the Chemo, 6 sessions already, after 4 sessions, they changed the chemo chemical because she was not responding to treatment.

Mom was getting more weak and did have a few blood transfusions,due to being anemic.

After complaining for a while, they found she had many stomach ulcers(bleeding ones also)

So she was in the hospital again for a week being treated.

Day after she was sent home, she had pain in the upper back and following morning hospitalized again.

They found fluid build up around the lung,she had problems breathing.

They have drained the fluid, tested it and found cancer cells

Can anyone please help to explain what to expect now or how much time she has left?

Doctor advised her that there is no treatment, chemo is NOT an option as it will not help, he advised they would drain the fluids on regular basis and to expect the worst.

I am dropping everything and flying home this week, but want to be prepared and know what to expect

[up-country_sinclair]

Sorry to read this sad news. Best wishes to you and your family.

[harrry]

Realy sorry to hear this.

[lemoncake]

Thanks for the wishes guys, i am hoping to get some info.

Google search is not bringing up anything, so i am really lost at the moment:(

Edited August 27, 2013 by lemoncake

[lemoncake]

Oh forgot to mention, she is at stage 3 C and no cancer in lungs, only cancer cells in fluid build up around 1 lung.

Doctor stated that it was a side effect from cancer, Google showed it could also be a result of heart problems(which she does have) but if cancer did not spread anywhere else, how could there be cancer cells in fluid around the lung.

[Sheryl]

Her doctors would be best placed to estimate how much time she has left (and even then it will be a guess), but for ovarian Ca that has mestasized to the lungs and not responded to chemo, I would say a few months, maybe less if her lung function is seriously compromised already.

As the disease progresses she will be less and less able to do things and interact with people so prioritize anything she wants to do/anything you want to say early in the visit.

The most important thing is to get her enrolled in a good hospice program so that her death is as peaceful and pain free as possible.

You'll need to have some frank discussions with her about her wishes, e.g. whether she wants to die at home as opposed to in a hospital/hospice (most people do if it's an option, and it is certainly easier on both patient and family). It is possible to get home hospice, with hospice nurses making regular visits, if this is her preference.

Take your cues from her, I have found that terminally ill people vacillate in how ready they are to face and discuss their prognosis...even well after they have seemingly accepted and understood, there will still be times when they need to pretend otherwise, and then suddenly they'll snap back into talking about their impending death again, very unpredicatable. So don't be surprised by that. Just be guided by where she is at , at any particular moment, and what she feels like discussing. Be prepared to talk frankly with her when she is able to do so (i.e. don't let her feel she has to try to shield you or protect you) but also respect it if and when she needs to not talk about it, or seems to be in temporary denial.

Hospice nurses will explain things to you as they progress, preparing and helping the family is a big part of what they do.

[bealus]

Look at the website medhelp.org; you can ask questions at specialist on almost every medical aspect.

Good luck and best wishes to you

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Sheryl]

P.S. I should add that while a few months is my rough guess from the limited info available, much quicker is possible and so is longer though probably not in excess of 6 months. In case you need to make plans regarding how long you'll be away.

[lemoncake]

Her doctors would be best placed to estimate how much time she has left (and even then it will be a guess), but for ovarian Ca that has mestasized to the lungs and not responded to chemo, I would say a few months, maybe less if her lung function is seriously compromised already.

As the disease progresses she will be less and less able to do things and interact with people so prioritize anything she wants to do/anything you want to say early in the visit.

The most important thing is to get her enrolled in a good hospice program so that her death is as peaceful and pain free as possible.

You'll need to have some frank discussions with her about her wishes, e.g. whether she wants to die at home as opposed to in a hospital/hospice (most people do if it's an option, and it is certainly easier on both patient and family). It is possible to get home hospice, with hospice nurses making regular visits, if this is her preference.

Take your cues from her, I have found that terminally ill people vacillate in how ready they are to face and discuss their prognosis...even well after they have seemingly accepted and understood, there will still be times when they need to pretend otherwise, and then suddenly they'll snap back into talking about their impending death again, very unpredicatable. So don't be surprised by that. Just be guided by where she is at , at any particular moment, and what she feels like discussing. Be prepared to talk frankly with her when she is able to do so (i.e. don't let her feel she has to try to shield you or protect you) but also respect it if and when she needs to not talk about it, or seems to be in temporary denial.

Hospice nurses will explain things to you as they progress, preparing and helping the family is a big part of what they do.

Thanks Sheryl for detailed response.

From my understanding there is no cancer in lungs, only in fluid around the lung, is it the same as lung cancer?

Doctor could not or did not want to give an estimate, just stated to expect the worst and suggested to be moved to hospice.

[Sheryl]

Oh forgot to mention, she is at stage 3 C and no cancer in lungs, only cancer cells in fluid build up around 1 lung.

Doctor stated that it was a side effect from cancer, Google showed it could also be a result of heart problems(which she does have) but if cancer did not spread anywhere else, how could there be cancer cells in fluid around the lung.

I'm afraid that cancer cells in the pleural fluid (fluid around the lungs) by definition = Stage IV.

See http://www.ovarian.org/types_and_stages.php for full explanation of staging.

[lemoncake]

P.S. I should add that while a few months is my rough guess from the limited info available, much quicker is possible and so is longer though probably not in excess of 6 months. In case you need to make plans regarding how long you'll be away.

Yeah, that is another problem, as i have 11 animals here and a business. I am ok with losing the business, but no one to look after the animals for long time.

Mom also has 2 elderly dogs, who i think she loves and adores almost as much as me.

Honestly would not wish upon anyone to be in a place where i am at the moment and all very unexpected

[Sheryl]

Thanks Sheryl for detailed response.

From my understanding there is no cancer in lungs, only in fluid around the lung, is it the same as lung cancer?

Doctor could not or did not want to give an estimate, just stated to expect the worst and suggested to be moved to hospice.

It is spread of the cancer outside not only the ovaries but also outside the abdominal cavity, so even though there is no tumor present in the lung, it is indicative of widespread metastasis. There will be cacer cells present in other organs/locatiosn as well but nothing to be gained at this stage from further testing to find out. Hospice is indeed the way to go.

[Sheryl]

P.S. I should add that while a few months is my rough guess from the limited info available, much quicker is possible and so is longer though probably not in excess of 6 months. In case you need to make plans regarding how long you'll be away.

Yeah, that is another problem, as i have 11 animals here and a business. I am ok with losing the business, but no one to look after the animals for long time.

Mom also has 2 elderly dogs, who i think she loves and adores almost as much as me.

Honestly would not wish upon anyone to be in a place where i am at the moment and all very unexpected

Yes, it is very hard. But in the other hand, if she had died abruptly with no warning or chance to say good-bye, would that be any better? At least liek this you and she have time together to say your goodbyes, get her affairs in order, etc.

If she has pets she loves, that should be factored into the hospice arrangements. If home hospice, obviously noi problem; if she has to go into an inpatient hospice facility, some will allow pets and some not so keep that in mind.

I hope you have siblings and/or other relations who can help out, as the next few weeks/months will be tough and your Mom will need an increasing amount of care.

[lemoncake]

Oh forgot to mention, she is at stage 3 C and no cancer in lungs, only cancer cells in fluid build up around 1 lung.

Doctor stated that it was a side effect from cancer, Google showed it could also be a result of heart problems(which she does have) but if cancer did not spread anywhere else, how could there be cancer cells in fluid around the lung.

I'm afraid that cancer cells in the pleural fluid (fluid around the lungs) by definition = Stage IV.

See http://www.ovarian.org/types_and_stages.php for full explanation of staging.

Thank you again, page is not opening but i googled stage IV, wish i did not

[lemoncake]

P.S. I should add that while a few months is my rough guess from the limited info available, much quicker is possible and so is longer though probably not in excess of 6 months. In case you need to make plans regarding how long you'll be away.

Yeah, that is another problem, as i have 11 animals here and a business. I am ok with losing the business, but no one to look after the animals for long time.

Mom also has 2 elderly dogs, who i think she loves and adores almost as much as me.

Honestly would not wish upon anyone to be in a place where i am at the moment and all very unexpected

Yes, it is very hard. But in the other hand, if she had died abruptly with no warning or chance to say good-bye, would that be any better? At least liek this you and she have time together to say your goodbyes, get her affairs in order, etc.

If she has pets she loves, that should be factored into the hospice arrangements. If home hospice, obviously noi problem; if she has to go into an inpatient hospice facility, some will allow pets and some not so keep that in mind.

I hope you have siblings and/or other relations who can help out, as the next few weeks/months will be tough and your Mom will need an increasing amount of care.

I am the only child and she is the last relative i have on this planet, thanks again for the explanation

[Sheryl]

Oh dear, that makes it very difficult indeed if it is all on you. Hopefully she has friends who will step up to bat a bit.

[jrtmedic]

lemoncake

So sorry.

I am late arriving but have read this thread. Ovarian "cancer" does indeed have a poor prognosis,

I do not wish to repeat everything Sheryl has told you but I am pleased you are making urgent arrangements to return home.

It sounds as if Mum is now terminally ill and if you could arrange for her to be cared for in a hospice that would be the absolute best place for her.

So sorry to learn the sad news.

Edited August 27, 2013 by jrtmedic

[kriswillems]

Very sorry to hear this.

I think this is the biggest fear of all people that move to Thailand ...

What's is going to happen if our parents really need us and we're far away from them ...

What if they would pass away while we were not able to help them...

It's something I also sometimes think about.

I wish you a lot of strength in these difficult times.

I would push the doctor to make a rough guess about how time she has left. Your life is probably in Thailand and it must be very hard for you to plan anything if you don't have a time-frame. You could also discuss this with another doctor. Assuming one more doctor confirms the estimation Sheryl made, you've something to base your actions on. 6 months is not so much time.

About the dogs, I think you've time to arrange that. Maybe prepare an ad for the local newpaper which you can publish after your mother has passed away. Tell your mother you'll make sure the dogs will find a loving new family or that you'll take care of them. Dogs can be very important for older people - when my grandfather died he was more worried about the dog than anything else.

Can you hire someone to look after your animals and your business while you're gone?

[lemoncake]

Very sorry to hear this.

I think this is the biggest fear of all people that move to Thailand ...

What's is going to happen if our parents really need us and we're far away from them ...

What if they would pass away while we were not able to help them...

It's someth

ing I also sometimes think about.

I wish you a lot of strength in these difficult times.

I would push the doctor to make a rough guess about how time she has left. Your life is probably in Thailand and it must be very hard for you to plan anything if you don't have a time-frame. You could also discuss this with another doctor. Assuming one more doctor confirms the estimation Sheryl made, you've something to base your actions on. 6 months is not so much time.

About the dogs, I think you've time to arrange that. Maybe prepare an ad for the local newpaper which you can publish after your mother has passed away. Tell your mother you'll make sure the dogs will find a loving new family or that you'll take care of them. Dogs can be very important for older people - when my grandfather died he was more worried about the dog than anything else.

Can you hire someone to look after your animals and your business while you're gone?

Thank you for kind wishes. I always had the same worry and now that the day has come, one simply can not prepare for it

Once i am back(end of the week) i will be speaking with doctor, no high expectations, will try to take it and accept it as it comes.

My mother loves the dogs, and even refused to go to hospice because of them,

Both dogs are also old already, will try look after mom at home for as long as possible to keep her comfortable and with loved once.

After the sad day, will take the dogs with me to Thailand, as i know she would never give them up, and also i do not want to hurt them anymore than they already are.

Few of my staff here, have been very supportive and offered to look after the business and animals, but i am not sure how long they can do that, as they also have their own family's.

I am trying to employ more staff to help them with everything.

Thank you once again for kind words

[lemoncake]

lemoncake

So sorry.

I am late arriving but have read this thread. Ovarian "cancer" does indeed have a poor prognosis,

I do not wish to repeat everything Sheryl has told you but I am pleased you are making urgent arrangements to return home.

It sounds as if Mum is now terminally ill and if you could arrange for her to be cared for in a hospice that would be the absolute best place for her.

So sorry to learn the sad news.

Thank you

As i mentioned earlier will try to keep her at home(is where she wants to be) for as long as possible.

The hardest thing for me is to speak with her about everything Sheryl mentioned, i can not even start to think without dropping a tear.

I really do not know how to do, today i went to speak with Monk trying to find some inner peace to handle it all.

He is wise and kind man, he said do the best you can today and worry about tomorrow when it comes.

So this is what i will try to do,

Again, thank you for yours and everyone else's wishes

[Sheryl]

Your decision to take her dogs will be a great comfort to your Mom, I know. She is also lucky she has you to help her to die in the place of her choosing.

Don't worry about crying a bit when you talk with her...she'll have some tears of her own to shed too. It is a very big "good-bye" to say for both of you. In the course of it you will both cry a number of times, but hopefully also have a chance to smile and laugh a bit at shared memories. Make the most of the limited time.

My very best wishes are with you.